Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2013 11:15:49 +1200
From: bob charles <pennywise3636@gmail.com>
Subject: Washed Up (Gay / Young friends) chapter 16

Washed Up

Disclaimer:

Warning: this story contains sexual content, contact between young boys,
and other themes that may offend.  If the subject matter offends you, is
not to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find
something else to read. In the following story all names and events are
completely fictional.  Although I may mention a specific location, place,
or person any resemblance to said people, location, or places is completely
unintentional.

Chapter 16:

I wake all bleary eyed to the sound of our door unlocking. My eyes are
totally out of focus to be able to work out what is going on, but it
doesn't matter anyway because our room still seems to be dark, almost like
it is still night. I can't hear any other noise in our room other than the
door getting unlocked which suggests to me that everyone else is still
asleep. I look at my boyfriend who is beside me, but the room is too dim
and dark to be able to make out anything other than his silhouette.

The door opens with agonizing slowness, but results in flooding the room
with light. I can now sort of see my sexy boyfriend, but my eyes are too
out of focus still to really see him properly. I blink hard a couple of
times to try to get my eyes to focus quicker, and it works, because I can
now see Pierre sound asleep beside me. I look over at the other bed and
unsurprisingly both Callum and Manuel are still fast asleep.

I then look over at the door which seems to be opening rather too
cautiously for someone who has good reason to come in here. I really can't
work out much once the door has opened fully because all the light behind
the person casts their front into shadow, creating a classic silhouette
scene. I can work out the shape of the person but it isn't one that I
remember from anyone I know here, but at the same time it does seem to be
vaguely familiar. Then it clicks, it's the hotel owner.

************

I really can't work out why he would want to come into our room, but then I
remember the strange way he was acting in the bathroom when he cleaned up
my grazes. Surely he hasn't come in here to do anything bad to us, because
it really would make no sense. I mean after all we are staying in his
hotel, and if something bad were to happen then it would be him who
suffered the most. I am really not trying to think negative thoughts but
after having been raped by my dad it is rather hard not to.

The owner then steps aside, and in comes mum, Manuel's dad, Sarah and
François, making me wonder what the hell is going on. Each of the adults
makes their way over to one of us kids, and then they try to gently wake us
all up. Well, all except Sarah because she comes over to me and instantly
notices that I'm already awake, so instead she gives me a big smile and
ruffles my hair.

I'm a little confused as to why they are waking us now considering it is
still night time, but Sarah answers that question for me when she leaves me
and goes over to open the curtain. The next moment the room is flooded with
sunlight, making me realise that it is daytime after all. One by one I see
the others slowly start to stir, stretch out and yawn, while they slowly
allow their minds to return to the real world.

Callum then surprises the hell out of me again, and not only because mum is
in the room and had been the one trying to wake my little brother. No, it's
also because the hotel owner is in the room, still standing beside the
door. He leaps out of bed completely naked, sporting his usual 1 ¼ inch
piss boner. He makes no attempt either to cover himself while he sprints
off to the toilet at an urgent pace.

The hotel owner can't believe his luck, not only has he just seen two lots
of really cute boys sleeping together, but now he has seen one sporting the
most adorable little boner. If his mouth wasn't gaping open enough from
seeing Callum with a stiffie, it hits the floor when Manuel also gets out
of bed sporting his impressive thin 4 inch long boned up schlong and
follows my little brother to the toilet in the same amount of
urgency. Neither of the boys bother to close the door either, much to mum's
disgust, because she can hear them both using the toilet together.

"Josh can you go with Monsieur Le Pen, the hotel owner now, because he
wants to change your bandage from the fall you had yesterday!" Mum tells me
in a no-nonsense voice, because she just wants everyone to hurry up so that
we can go. It turns out that we had really slept in well past our checkout
time, but the owner has kindly allowed us to checkout late free of charge.

"But mum I've got no clothes on, can I at least get changed first?" I say
pleadingly, knowing full well mum won't be happy that we are sleeping naked
together, but then again so were Manuel and Callum, so she has more
problems than just us.

"Why is it that you are suddenly worried about being naked, after the
amount of times you have opened the door with nothing on?" Mum retorts
bluntly, with a bit of an evil `don't fuck with me' look in her eyes.

I consider continuing to protest and plead my case, but I know better of it
when she has that expression on her face. I let out a huge almighty sigh,
making sure mum can clearly hear me before I start to clamber out of
bed. The hotel owner is watching me intently. He really can't believe that
he is going to see a third boy completely naked, especially all in one
day. He also can't believe that he is going to get to fix me up again, and
with me naked this time, instead of in undies.

I'm really feeling uncomfortable with this idea, especially after what
happened yesterday with me cumming in my briefs and all. To make matters
worse is that I'm hard as a rock and I know that it will not deflate while
this old guy is staring at it. Stupid hormones, because I just seem to be
horny as hell lately. I know this because my morning wood today isn't
because I need to go to the toilet, it's because I'm horny again.

Reluctantly I climb out of bed, exposing my naked body to the hotel owner
and watching his jaw drop and hit the floor, once he sees that I'm erect as
well. He almost faints when my sexy boyfriend gets out of bed as well and
stands next to me sporting his gorgeous little, just over 2 ¼ inches
hard piece of wood.

The way the hotel owner is acting is really starting to scare me, and I
really can't believe that mum of all people hasn't picked up on it. Again I
know there is no point in protesting because mum won't listen, and for some
reason I don't think she is worried about the hotel owner in the
slightest. I'm really stuck because I really don't want to go with the man
while I'm still naked, but it will be the holocaust all over again if I
dare try to get changed first.

Once the hotel owner has regained his composure, he indicates for me to
follow him. I really do not want to, but I know I have no choice. Pierre on
the other hand also hasn't picked up on the negative vibes I'm getting from
the man, and he quite willingly takes my hand to come along with me. I'm
really hoping that François or Sarah also comes along, but I notice that
mum is giving them other jobs to do so I know that they won't be of any
assistance.

The owner then makes me even more concerned when he leads us towards the
back of the hotel, instead of towards the main staircase. He explains to us
that it is because of our current state of undress that we are going this
way, since he doesn't want the cleaners to see us like this. I suppose it
makes a lot of sense but it still scares me, because now I have no idea
where he is going to lead us. If we had gone the other way then I could
have made sure that he didn't try anything, but now I have no idea where we
are going.

At the end of the hall is another internal staircase which is nowhere near
as grand as the main one, but it is still pretty elegant in its own
way. The owner leads us downstairs, but really gets me more and more
worried along the way. He keeps trying to sneak looks at both of us and our
boy bits, but the further down we go the more longing his stares become and
the more excited the look on his face gets. I try desperately hard to try
and get my rock hard boner to wilt, but the more I try the harder it seems
to get.

Pierre still hasn't picked up on the vibes I'm getting from the man, but
then again why should he? Pierre has never really been treated poorly by an
adult male; well aside from the scare at the pools, he really has no other
reason to fear males like I do. Because I have got side-tracked over
thinking things, I have totally missed the fact that we are going down an
extra flight of stairs until it's too late. The stairs come to an abrupt
end, but the floor isn't carpeted like I had expected, instead it is
concrete which is the first real indication that I get that tells me that
something is severely wrong.

There is a big heavy metal door at the base of the staircase, which the man
unlocks and swings open. It really must weigh a lot because the owner seems
to use a lot of force to get it open. He then ushers me and Pierre inside
the room, before closing and sealing the door behind us. This is when I get
the biggest indication that we are in deep shit, because I notice the owner
using a key to deadlock the door. We are stuck, and I am really petrified
about what he is going to do to us. I think Pierre has now finally clicked
onto the fact that this guy is up to no good.

The room doesn't look anything like a dungeon or basement like I had sort
of expected it to be. Instead it looks like a film set, with cameras,
bright lights and all that sort of thing. The scene is strange though,
because it looks like a mock-up of a bedroom, with a very comfortable
looking bed in the centre. I still have no real idea what he is planning to
do, but I do realise that we are going to be filmed, and by the looks of it
naked because there is no wardrobe to be seen anywhere in the room.

Pierre pulls me closer to him and holds onto me tightly. He now knows just
how deeper shit we are in, which is causing him to shake like a leaf. I'm
feeling the same way, and I know I'm shaking just as bad as he is, so I hug
him tight too hoping that our hug might just make this whole horrible
nightmare melt away, but it doesn't. Pierre's eyes are wide open with a
terrified look to them. I can tell he is on the verge of totally losing
control, so I hug him tighter still. Even though I too am struggling to
suppress my emotions, I know that we have to stay strong, because if we
don't I know things will get a lot worse.

"Right you two, get over there and sit on the bed. If you do what I tell
you no one will get hurt, and don't even think of trying anything because
I'm not scared to cut off your tiny little penises. Do I make myself clear?
And lastly you must never tell anyone what happened here, or I will hunt
you down and kill everyone close to you before killing you as well." The
man says in a chillingly evil and demanding voice. Pierre and I just nod
our heads that we agree, since we are that petrified of him to try anything
anyway.

The man then spends about five minutes setting up the camera equipment,
setting it running and adjusting the lighting until he is happy with the
results. My mind is spinning while I try frantically to come up with a
viable solution to our problem, but as hard as I try I can come up with no
answer which will get us out of here in one piece. I feel really dejected,
because I can't protect my lover from this and I also know that this is
going to have a severe emotional impact on not only him and me, but also
Callum and Manuel as well.

Once the evil man has finished setting up everything, he strips off his
clothes. For a man he is quite good looking and has a really nice firm
body, with just a little smattering of chest hair. It is his cock that
scares me shitless, because it looks even bigger than dad's, and it is
fucking thick as well. I'm sure it would take two of my dicks, plus two of
Pierre's added together to equal the sheer length of this man's. I can feel
my body on the verge of really shutting down again, because I get flooded
with images of what it's going to be like having him do the same horrible
thing to me, as what dad did.

I try to fight against my mind, in order to keep control of my body. I will
be of absolutely no use to anyone if I let my mind win, so I know I have to
try to be strong. Pierre is on the verge of meltdown because he now truly
knows what I have felt about men for years. He is of no use to help get out
of this in one piece, meaning it is all up to me. I really feel sorry for
my boyfriend because he voluntarily put himself in this situation, but I
also feel guilty because I didn't warn him about how I felt about the
man. I really don't think Pierre would have listened to me, or even left my
side if I had told him, but I still feel guilty for not at least warning
him.

I try to console Pierre as best as I can, given that we are still yet to go
through the worst of our ordeal. It is not easy because my lover is really
sketched out, but I know I have to calm him because we will get in more
trouble if Pierre doesn't follow orders. The one big advantage for him is
that the shock and terror he is feeling from the situation has caused his
boner to wilt, unlike mine because of the hormones raging through my body,
I'm still hard as a rock.

"Right now, I want you to lie flat on the bed!" The man orders Pierre, like
a drill sergeant in the army. Pierre doesn't move initially because he is
still too scared, but I give him the encouragement needed for him to do as
he is told. I only do so because I know he will get badly hurt otherwise.

Once Pierre is lying flat on the bed, the man repositions my lover until he
is happy with where he is lying. The hotel owner then gets up on the bed
and straddles my frightened lover, so that his really loose and sagging
ball sac is dangling just above Pierre's mouth. I'm actually relieved that
Pierre is in that position because I know that I would have really lost it
given how close to the man's bum I would have been, but I really do feel
sorry for Pierre at the same time.

"Right now Josh I want you to suck me, while your little boyfriend down
there licks and sucks my balls." The man demands in a very evil and scary
voice.

I take one look at his huge ginormous member, and gulp. How the hell am I
going to fit that in my mouth? It really looks miles too big for me to suck
on, but seeing the man starting to get impatient I know that I had better
find a way to. I climb onto the bed properly and then crawl over to where
the man and Pierre are. I stay down on all fours and lower my head down to
the man's enormous throbbing cock.

It is truly the most hideous thing in the world; even dad's cock doesn't
look as ugly as this does. To make it worse is the smell, which is only
subtle but still off putting. I know I can't drag this out for too much
longer so I lower my head down, opening my mouth as wide as possible, and
take the ugly thing into my mouth. It tastes putrid, and I really want to
get it out of my mouth, but the man makes that impossible when he firmly
puts his hands on the back of my head and pushes me further down onto his
cock.

I gag when he pushes me too far onto it, but he doesn't stop. No he just
holds me there until my mouth adjusts. I am struggling to breathe with the
huge thing in my mouth because I can't even get enough oxygen in through my
nose. Eventually the man pulls my head back up along his cock. I use the
chance while I can breathe properly to take in as much oxygen as possible,
before the man forcibly pushes my head back down on his engorged member.

Pierre is in a trance, almost a state of shock while he tries to do his
part in order to avoid any repercussions. I am really worried about him,
and even as I get made to give the man a blow job by force, I can still see
the state which Pierre is in. The man is also not looking impressed because
Pierre is not doing a good enough job on him, and I don't think I'm helping
much either.

The man almost like he is in a rage, then throws me off and onto the bed
viciously like I'm a piece of unwanted rubbish. I am really scared now, and
my terror becomes even more justified when I see he belt Pierre across the
face and then heave him off the bed like a useless piece of crap. Pierre
lands heavily on a thin mat on the concrete floor, and his body makes
stomach-churning crunch when it hits the hard floor. I can tell that he is
out cold from the hit to the head he has received, which is probably a good
thing because it meant his body was limp when it hit the ground, so should
have minimised the likelihood of him incurring any severe injuries.

I am starting to lose control of my emotions now, because I'm not only shit
scared about what he is going to do to me, but also seeing by boyfriend in
a bloodied state on the floor is tearing me apart. I really want to be able
to help my lover, but I know how perilous the situation is. I don't want to
risk my safety because I know it will end badly for Pierre as well. I'm
getting frustrated on top of all the other emotions I'm feeling, because
the situation is far beyond my control.

I am suddenly picked up and turned around, before violently thrown back
down on the bed front first. He is now being extremely rough with the way
he is handling and treating me, and I'm really getting sore from all the
vicious handling. He then spreads my legs, almost ripping them right off
while he does so, well it at least feels like that.

I have already worked out what is in store for me by this stage, but I'm
actually glad that it is me going through this pain again, because I would
have been absolutely devastated if he ripped my boyfriend apart with his
big cock. I am more the willing to take this in order to save anything else
happening to Pierre.

My body shudders fiercely when the man grabs hold of my ass cheeks and
spreads them. I then feel a small amount of dampness on my boy hole, from
the tiny amount of spit he has put there. I think he is only worried about
being able to enter me easily, and is not really too concerned about how
much hurt and pain he is going to inflict on me. The man then starts to
position himself, and again my body gives off an intensely violent shiver
when I feel the head of his monstrous cock up against my hole.

Then all of a sudden all hell breaks loose. There is a sudden loud bang at
the door, followed by the door falling into the room, and a huge cloud of
smoke envelopes everything in the room. I can't see anything, but I can
still feel the ginormous cock getting pushed against my boy rose. He seems
to be trying a bit more desperately now to penetrate me, but because of his
sheer desperation he doesn't line up properly and ends up sliding along my
ass crack.

"La Police...! Geler...! Mains ou je peux les voir!" A voice suddenly yells
from somewhere in the smoke which is still shrouding the room. A dark
figure then slowly emerges from the smoke with a large rifle carried at the
ready. Then all of a sudden the bed is completely surrounded by more men
all ready to fire at the slightest wrong move.

I can see the man contemplating his options while I look over my shoulder
at him, but he is naked and has no weapons of his own, so can't take me
hostage or do anything. The man does the only thing he can sensibly do
given the circumstances, which I am really glad about, because I was really
worried that he might deliberately get himself shot. I don't think that I
could handle seeing that, on top of everything that has happened.

The man gives himself up, and is quickly swarmed upon by armed police, who
promptly put the man in handcuffs and take him away. I am dazed and
confused by the sudden turn of events, so I really don't know how to
react. I just act instinctively, so when an officer comes over to me and
tries to grab me, I start to fight and scream. I am a real mess and don't
want anyone to touch me, not even the police. The officer just backs off a
bit and waits till I settle down before he tries anything again.

The smoke is really slow to settle, and so is my uncontrollable
mood. Gradually the smoke dissipates and I see Pierre lying unconscious on
the floor. My mind instantly comes back to reality, and I leap off the bed
and head straight over to my lover and hold him. His face is black and blue
and bloodied, with a nasty looking welt from where he had been hit. I
finally lose it. Seeing my boyfriend like this is more than I can take, so
I just bawl my eyes out.

I am a real mess, so when the officer comes over to try again to escort me
out of the building, I again put up a huge fight because I just cannot
leave Pierre. He needs me more than ever, so there is no way that I'm going
to leave him. The officer for the second time backs off, a little confused
about why I putting up so much of a fight. I look down at my boyfriend
again and see something that really frightens the shit out of me.

How on earth didn't I notice it before? What sort of boyfriend am I? I am
totally in disarray when I notice Pierre's lips have turned blue. I
desperately try to regain control of myself in order to think. I have been
here before I know I have, but when? That's right, when I pulled him from
the water the day I first met him. I quickly check to see if he is
breathing, but quickly realise that he isn't. I decide not to waste time
this time round and just go straight to the mouth to mouth first, and if he
doesn't respond after that then I will do the compressions.

I lie my boyfriend back down on the mat, and tilt his head back in order to
clear the airway. I then take in a big breath of air before placing my lips
to Pierre's, getting those tingling feelings, and blowing, expelling all
the air from my lungs into his. I breathe long and hard trying to keep an
even flow of oxygen going into his lungs, and I can see his chest rise
while I do it. I soon run out of breath, but Pierre has still not come
to. I take another deep breath of air and try again.

The officer has suddenly realised just how ominous the situation is, so
quickly radios for a paramedic to come down, before rushing to the side of
Pierre to aid me. The officer takes Pierre's wrist in his hand and then
feels around for a pulse, to which he then give me a thumbs up indicating
that he has one. I am so relieved seeing that, because it just means that I
need to keep oxygen filling his lungs. With another breath deep in my lungs
I again press my lips to Pierre's and blow.

For the second time Pierre suddenly coughs and splutters back to life on my
second breath. I am so thrilled and relieved to see this, and as soon as he
is recovered enough I embrace him in the tightest hug, and lose it
again. Tears are flowing from my eyes and down my cheeks like swollen
rivers by the time the paramedics arrive. Pierre has latched onto me as
tightly as I have to him, but he is shaking like a leaf from the traumatic
experience he has just encountered. He is in so much shock that he isn't
crying, because his mind has all but shut down.

The paramedics make their way over to us quick smart, and begin to assess
our conditions. They are really worried about the state that Pierre is in,
because the knock he took to his head was a really bad one. They aren't too
sure about my condition when they assess me, because I have obviously been
through a lot of emotional trauma, so they decide that it is best if they
take us both to the hospital to get thoroughly checked over.

While the paramedics are wrapping both me and Pierre up in blankets there
is suddenly a loud commotion, and a lot of yelling coming from deeper in
the basement. All of a sudden the place is swarming with police officers
again while they rush through to see what is happening. The next thing I
hear is someone yelling urgently for something, but I'm not sure what
because it is in French. I realise quickly what was being yelled for when
the paramedics suddenly leave us, and race off towards where all the police
had gone.

The paramedics are gone for a good ten minutes before one of them comes
back through to us. She re-inspects Pierre to ensure that his condition
hasn't deteriorated, before she also re-examines me. Aside from the fact
that I'm still bawling my eyes out and clutching Pierre for dear life, the
paramedic decides that my state hasn't worsened. On the other hand she is
becoming really worried about Pierre, but I can tell by the look on her
face that even he isn't too urgent. I can't quite understand it, because
there can't be anyone in a worse state than us down here, well can there?

My answer is revealed shortly after when the police start to come back, but
they all have someone with them. They each have a boy, all between the ages
of eight to thirteen, and there are eight boys in total. The boys who can
walk are getting led by a police officer, but those whose conditions are
that bad that they cannot walk are being carried through. They are a sorry
looking bunch, with none of them clothed, and they are all really scrawny
and dirty.

The most shocking thing is that a couple of them have had their dicks
crudely removed. I really can't believe it, but that evil man was telling
the truth when he warned us that he wasn't scared to cut our dicks off. It
does make me glad that to a certain extent we went through with what the
man wanted. What makes me even happier is the cops turning up, because I'm
almost certain that if they hadn't my boyfriend would have also lost
his. The thought just makes me shudder and cringe something awful.

The boys all just stare at me and Pierre, because they know that somehow we
were lucky. They are also very aware that we are also the reason for them
getting found, because their faces all show a little gratitude for
that. I'm still not even sure how we are found, let alone worrying too much
about them thanking us for it, because my main concern is Pierre. It isn't
because I don't care about the other kids, far from it, but my mind can
only focus on one thing at a time at the moment. Pierre's state really
seems to be worsening by the minute, which is leaving me feeling extremely
scared, because I know that Pierre might not be the highest priority now
due the discovery of the other boys.

The best thing happens next, when all of a sudden another six paramedics
come running down the stairs. Pierre is loaded onto a stretcher and he is
the first to get taken away, which means that I go too, because there is no
way in hell that I'm going to leave Pierre. After a bit of a fight, the
officer who I had already fought with just tells the paramedics that I am
best to go with Pierre. With that, the issue got sorted, and Pierre and I
are now on our way to the hospital.

It is really scary when we make it outside, because there is a huge
gathering of people and media, desperately trying to find out the true
story about the hotel owner. Just before we are taken outside an officer at
the door puts a towel over mine and Pierre's heads, ensuring to cover our
faces to give us the privacy we deserve. If he didn't then our faces would
end up on TV all over the country, and potentially the world, which would
really be humiliating for us.

Despite having a blanket wrapped around me, and my face fully hidden from
view, I still feel completely exposed and naked. I can feel the stares from
the crowd, and see the flashes from the cameras while Pierre and I are
getting taken to a waiting ambulance. I have never experienced anything
like this because the media weren't allowed to cover much of my case back
in New Zealand, due the laws around name suppression, which dad got granted
automatically to protect his victim, me.

Even though I can't see what is going on, I know that the media are trying
desperately to get photos of Pierre and me. The paramedics seem to be
getting jostled around while the media try to get all the information they
can for their stories. I can hear lots of questions getting yelled out to
us, from lots of different journalists, but I don't answer them. I'm just
as terrified now as I was back in the basement with that evil man, because
I have never been in this situation, and it really does feel like I'm
getting circled by vultures.

I am petrified the whole time that we are out in the open, because I really
don't want anyone to see either my or Pierre's face. I feel all alone,
because Pierre has slipped out of consciousness. For the first time in my
life I am longing for my mother. I need her to cuddle me and to tell me
that everything is going to be okay. I am scared beyond belief, but it's
not through what I have been through, it's because of the state Pierre is
in.

We are finally bundled into the back of a waiting ambulance, and I am
really relieved when I hear the back doors get slammed shut. The noise from
the outside world just stops and is replaced by silence. Well up until
Pierre is plugged into some monitors and stuff, then it is replaced with
beeping noises, but they are still better than the noises the media
vultures make. I really don't understand why there is so much media
attention, because an attempted rape of a kid is hardly newsworthy any
more. I suppose I'm likely to find out the answers soon enough.

I am then laid down on a bed inside the ambulance and connected up to a
series of monitors as well. The good thing is that I can still hold
Pierre's hand from across the other side of the ambulance, which I do,
making an absolute nuisance of myself for the paramedic in the back with
us. I think the he is getting annoyed and frustrated not being able to move
around freely because I'm holding Pierre's hand, but he never says anything
to me about it, instead he works as well as he can around the obstacle I
have created.

The whole vehicle suddenly shudders into life, before the sirens wail and
we slowly move off. The initial progress is really slow due to the driver
having to negotiate his way through the gathered swarm of bystanders and
media. Once we finally clear the mass of bodies impeding the ambulance's
progress, things become a lot easier. With the sirens blaring, and the
traffic allowing us through, the trip to the hospital doesn't take too long
at all.

Again there is a lot of media awaiting our arrival at the hospital, so
again our faces are covered by the kind paramedic who has got used to the
way I am only worried about Pierre. Once our faces have been covered
properly, and the ambulance has backed up as close to the door as it can
get, the back doors are swung open. As quick as a flash our gurneys are
pulled out of the parked ambulance, and wheeled as quickly as possible deep
into the bowels of the hospital and far away from the media vultures who
are swarmed around the entrance.

I instantly feel lonely when we are getting prepared to move because I have
to let go of Pierre, and to make matters worse, once inside the hospital we
are wheeled off in two different directions. I try to protest about being
separated from Pierre, but I quickly realise that it's going to be
fruitless trying to argue. Pierre is getting wheeled off towards radiology
because they want to give him an all over x-ray to ensure no bones have
been broken, and to ascertain the extent of his head injury.

I am just wheeled off towards the children's ward, where I will be given a
thorough check-up, and psychological examination. I know how the psych exam
will go because I have undergone numerous tests because of what's happened
before, but it is going to be harder in a foreign country. I don't really
care about that anyway because I want to be with Pierre, to support him and
keep him company. I feel totally lost and lonely without him, almost like
half of me is missing. It hurts, it hurts so much because I know that my
boyfriend isn't in a good way either.

While I'm getting wheeled through the reception area of the children's
ward, I notice everyone else at the counter. Mum is frantic while she tries
to get information about my whereabouts and condition. François and
Manuel's dad are both trying to calm her down, by both having a hand on one
of her shoulders. Sarah is trying her best to comfort the two boys who are
clinging to her tightly. Callum and Manuel are both in tears, with a look
of confusion and disbelief all over their faces, because they don't really
understand what has just gone down, let alone can they believe my bad luck
at yet again getting caught up in something like this.

Callum must have noticed the movement of my approaching gurney out of the
corner of his eye, because he turns his head to the direction that I'm
coming from, to see what is happening. I see my brother do a double take,
and then rub his eyes before taking another look. He still obviously
doesn't believe what he is seeing because he rubs his eyes again, before
taking another good hard look straight at me.

"Joshy! Are you okay? You had me really scared!" Callum squeals at the top
of his lungs. He has a huge smile on his face, but it still looks rather
concerned. Callum then lets go of Sarah and sprints over to me and jumps
onto the gurney and snuggles up beside me.

Everyone else suddenly looks over my way upon hearing Callum's excited
outburst, meaning that I'm quickly mauled by Manuel as well. The two
youngsters hug me for dear life, and bury their heads into me and bawl
their eyes out. The adults and my sister also come over as quick as a
flash, with relieved expressions on their faces at seeing me looking pretty
fine considering the ordeal I had just been through. The normal babble on
sympathies and all the other nonsense goes on causing me to feel really
irritated, because all I want to do is find out about Pierre.

"Josh, are you okay? What did that evil man do to you? He didn't rape you
again did..." Mum starts up in a panicked and concerned way, like all
mothers get when they think something bad has happened to their kids.

"Shut up! I'm fine, nothing happened, but Pierre got hurt and I want to
know how he is!" I scream totally exasperated with all the attention that
I'm getting when my boyfriend is somewhere else in the hospital, and in a
bad way. It really doesn't even occur to me that no one knows about the
condition that Pierre is in, because my mind is not thinking rationally, or
even logically.

An eerie silence suddenly fills the air after my abrupt outburst. I can see
everyone swiftly looking rather embarrassed with themselves for not taking
Pierre into consideration. For some reason they all expected Pierre to come
out of this perfectly fine, and so they were all more worried about what
had happened to me. Now that they know that I'm sort of okay, but Pierre
isn't, they feel ashamed for not considering how I was feeling about that.

"Josh, François and I will go and try to find out about Pierre for
you. I can see that you are going to have trouble getting rid of the rest
of your company, but hopefully they will help you to not stress so much
about Pierre. You need to get checked over by the doctors, and then
hopefully by that time we will have something to tell you about Pierre."
Sarah says sincerely and lovingly, and then without even waiting for a
reply, she drags François off in search of Pierre.

Once Sarah and François have wandered off in search of my boyfriend, I
am wheeled through to an empty room in the ward so I can get checked
over. Manuel and Callum both come along for the ride, much to the disgust
of the nurses who are wheeling me around. They try profusely to get the two
boys to get off, but they just don't listen and mum and I won't let them
either. I'm really surprised that mum is backing me up on this, but I
almost feel like she is hiding something as well.

Once I'm taken through to the room the nurses inform us that the doctor
will come through as soon as he can, and then they leave us to it. Callum
and Manuel just cling to me tighter now that the nurses have gone, because
they are really scared about what has happened to me. Mum on the other hand
goes over to the door and closes it, before she comes over to the side of
my bed and takes my hand.

"Josh, I'm really sorry. No one was supposed to get hurt, but things didn't
quite go according to plan." Mum says to me almost in tears. I am totally
baffled by this because I really can't understand what the hell she is on
about.

"François and Sarah came in to see me last night, after you had gone to
sleep. They both expressed their concerns about the way the owner had been
acting while he was fixing you up. They thought that he could be real
trouble. So I decided to try and act upon it to be safe, and I rung the
police. It turns out that they had been watching him for a while now but
never found enough evidence to get a search warrant." Mum continues,
looking guiltier and guiltier by the second.

I still haven't worked out what she is implying in the slightest. My mind
really is too focused on Pierre to pay enough attention to what mum is
trying to tell me, so I really do totally miss the whole point of what she
said up to now. Manuel and Callum on the other hand I think have either
worked it out, or they already know, because they both bury their heads
into me in an attempt to block out mum's story.

"The police wondered if we could set him up, and they ensured us that they
would be in and have you before anything happened..."

"What the fuck! You used me and Pierre to try to set this guy up, how the
fuck could you do such a horrible and twisted thing?" I scream at my
mother, having finally worked out what she had been hinting at. I really
can't believe that she would do such a thing, well at least not to Pierre,
because if it was only me then I think I could have handled it.

"Yes... well no... well sort of. Pierre wasn't supposed to have gone with
you, and the cops had promised to get to you before anything
happened. Things went wrong right from the start, because Sarah was to
follow you about five minutes after you left, so that she could relay back
your location. The problem is we didn't notice him taking a different
direction. The police literally had to search the whole building before
they found where he was keeping you. I'm so sorry love, I didn't really
mean for you to be a scapegoat." Mum wails.

She is really upset at the whole thing because yet again she knows that she
has failed to protect me like a proper parent would. The thing is I'm not
too concerned, because in the end nothing happened. Knowing that Pierre
wasn't supposed to get caught up in it helps a lot as well. I can also see
the good side of what they have done, which surprises me, because I usually
only ever see the bad side when something bad happens to me.

"Mum, it's alright. Nothing happened because the cops did get there just in
the nick of time. If it wasn't for you and the cops that evil man may never
have been caught, but what's more is you also saved another eight boys from
the horrible torture and abuse the man was doing to them." I reply
sincerely to mum, and then give her a big hug. Tears are still running from
mum's eyes like rivers, but now her face has changed from anguish and
guilt, to one of confusion.

"They found another eight boys somewhere down in the basement, and none of
them looked very good. A couple of them even had... they had... they had
their dickies removed." I reply noticing her confusion, but the graphic
images of the boys flood my mind and I finally lose control of my emotions.

The tears have dried in mum's eyes knowing not everything went bad during
the set-up of that evil man, but she now looks really worried and
distraught about my mental condition from the horrors I must have seen down
in that basement. She is also stunned hearing my basic description of the
boys we had inadvertently rescued, because it really does prove what a sick
monster that man was. Despite the botch-up in the raid, she is now really
glad that the man has now been caught, and she gives me the most loving hug
for my attempt to be so brave despite everything.

"Mum you really did do a good thing, but I wish you had told me about it,
or even just ensured that Pierre didn't follow me. I know that you really
couldn't do either without the risk of raising suspicion, but Pierre got
hurt and that's all that I care about." I tell mum sincerely once I have my
emotions under control again.

"I'm sorry for Pierre getting hurt, I really am. But honestly do you think
that there was any way I could have stopped him from going with you. Even
if I had told him about the set-up he still would have followed you to try
to keep you safe, because he really loves you as much as you love him." Mum
tells me from the bottom of her heart.

I am totally gobsmacked because she used the word love when talking about
Pierre and I, but what gets to me the most is that I know she is right, and
there really was no way she could have prevented Pierre coming along with
me. I sort of still wish that he had known because then he may not have got
himself hurt, but then again he would have expected a quick rescue, so
things really would have been the same. It still really hurts a lot knowing
Pierre got hurt, because I really do wish that it had been me in the firing
line, but then I ran the risk of him getting raped. I was in a lose-lose
situation, which is what I really hate about the whole saga.

"It's alright mum. I know that you never had any intentions for Pierre to
get hurt, but it still hurts because I couldn't do anything to protect
him. I am really glad that we got that bastard locked up, because now he
can't hurt any more boys, ever again." I reply earnestly, but my heart
really isn't behind me one hundred per cent because I can't get my mind off
my beaten up boyfriend.

My thoughts are then interrupted when there is a knock at the door, which
then opens and a doctor enters the room. Mum and I are still embraced in a
tight hug, which I am very reluctant to part with. I need someone to hold
me, because I really do feel vulnerable without Pierre around. It is such a
strange feeling because I have never felt this way before. I used to feel
anger and hatred towards everyone and I felt like I was safer and better
off on my own. Now it is the opposite and I really need people around me to
make me feel safe, but between mum, Manuel and Callum, they don't quite do
enough. I really need my boyfriend again.

Mum releases me from her embrace, but instead of letting her go, I cling to
her tighter and try to pull her back into me. My body has started to
tremble from the trauma which I have been through. It is the first time
since the whole ordeal in which my body has started to react, because up
until now I really have had to stay strong. I don't feel like I'm going to
completely shut down like normal, but having my body trembling the way it
is, is always unpleasant.

"It's alright Josh, I'm not going far. The doctor just needs to check you
out and then I will come straight back to you, I promise." Mum says
sympathetically. She is really concerned at the way I have suddenly needed
her for comfort, because it has been so long since I have so desperately
needed my mother that she isn't used to it. She knows I have changed a lot
since being here, but she never thought I had changed to this extent, but
then again she knows that I'm extremely worried about Pierre and also can't
be there with him.

Reluctantly I start to let go of my mother, but it takes all my willpower
not to hug her for dear life again. I am really struggling to hold myself
together, which is made even harder when Manuel and Callum have to get off
the bed as well. I suddenly feel really lonely and naked, and I'm on the
verge of tears and really breaking down. It is so hard not being there for
Pierre, not to mention that I'm worried about the psychological impact the
event has had on my lover. The continued thoughts about Pierre are what is
doing my head in, because I really am not too traumatised from my ordeal in
the slightest.

The doctor comes over and removes the sheet which has been placed over the
top of me, while I was in the ambulance. He then proceeds to try to remove
the blanket, but I really am not willing to part with that. For some reason
the idea of being naked in front of anyone at the moment, scares the shit
out of me. I really can't help my thoughts even though I know that I've
been parading around naked happy as for a while. It isn't just the thought
of the doctor seeing me naked, but also I don't want mum, Callum, Manuel,
or his dad to see me without clothes on.

Mum senses my mood so comes back over to the bed and strokes my
forehead. She is really worried now, because she knows that the man has
caused a lot more psychological damage and just at the wrong time too. I
had been just starting to heal and get over what my father had done to me,
and then this happens. Mum is extremely concerned that I may slip right
back to where I started before Pierre had such a big and positive influence
on me.

"Come on Josh, I know it's been really hard on you, but you need to let the
doctor do his job." Mum says sincerely, but has a pleading tone in her
voice on top of it.

"I just can't mum. I don't know why, but I really don't want anyone to see
me... um... naked." I whisper, a little embarrassed with myself.

"Do you want us to leave the..."

"No, no, no! Please I don't want you to leave either!" I plead, almost yell
to my mother. I am quickly becoming a complete wreck and I really don't
know how much longer I can hold myself together. I grab hold of mum's hand,
and clench it tightly to ensure that she doesn't go anywhere. The doctor is
becoming extremely concerned with the way I'm acting, but he knows just to
wait until I'm ready before he proceeds.

"What do you want me to do..."

"Pierre has just had an x-ray, and they have found what looks like bleeding
around the brain, so they have sent him off for an emergency MRI scan to
ascertain the severity of it, before they can operate." Sarah says
frantically, after bursting through the door and interrupting mum in the
process.

That is it, it is all I can take, and I just completely lose control,
releasing my grip on mum's hand in the process. I just bawl my eyes out,
worried like hell about whether I'm ever going to see Pierre again. The
news is not what I wanted to hear one little bit. I had been hoping,
praying even, for some good news, but this is far from that. Mum quickly
embraces me in a tight hug, knowing that it really is the worst news that
we could have received. Manuel and Callum hug each other, trying to comfort
the other as much as they can. Manuel's dad then wraps his arm around both
boys, letting them know that he is there for them and also just trying to
comfort them.

Mum's hug just isn't enough to comfort me one little bit, and my emotions
quickly turn into disarray. I roll over onto my stomach, and just start to
pound the bed with my clenched up fists. I am angry, pissed off with the
man, with the world, with everything, because I can't believe such a
tragedy could be inflicted on such a lovely caring boy. Not to mention how
much I love that particular boy, but it is just all too unbearable to think
that something so horrible could happen in an instant.

Mum tries her best to try to calm me, but my mood just continues to
deteriorate and I start to kick the bed as well. Sarah quickly comes to the
side of my bed, and starts to gently stroke my back, hoping that it might
do something to sooth my emotions. The doctor, realising that he isn't
going to be able to inspect me any time soon, quietly leaves the room to go
get some extra help. He knows that getting me the psych help I'm going to
need is more important than a physical check-up.

"I wanna go see Pierre, I have to. You have to take me and I don't give a
fucking shit about getting checked over. Pierre needs me and I have to be
there with him, so you had better fucking well take me!" I scream
distraughtly. I know it's going to be of no use, but I still felt like I
needed to make my point. I hate not being able to help Pierre more than I
hate being in the hospital. I really feel helpless, on top of the sheer
anger and frustration that is controlling my mind.

I struggle like crazy to get off the bed, since my emotions now have taken
hold of me, but as hard as I try mum and Sarah are successful in keeping me
on the bed. They know that it is not a good idea for me to go charging
around the hospital in my mental state, but I fail to see why. There really
is only the one thing going through my mind, and so I really can't
understand why I'm not allowed to do it. I mean Pierre is the most
important person in the whole universe to me, so why can't I just be with
him?

"Pierre is now undergoing emergency surgery. They found that he does have
bleeding on the brain which is starting to cause immense pressure to be put
on it, so they are going to drill through his skull to alleviate the
pressure. The good news is that the doctors don't think that too much
damage to the brain has occurred." François informs everyone while he
enters the room.

"I have to go! Pierre needs me! You have to let me go see him now!" I
scream, more desperately than ever, after hearing François's news about
the state my lover is in. I start to thrash and wriggle around more
violently now, frantically trying to break the hold mum and Sarah have on
me, so that I can run off to try to find Pierre.

François notices that I am slowly making some headway, because the
ferociousness of my struggle to break free, so he quickly makes his way
over to the bed to offer his assistance. I can't believe it because I
though François of all people would help me, instead he seems to be
against my idea of going to see Pierre. Despite the anger still surging
through me, I give up. My energy levels have almost slumped to nothing so I
really have no fight left in me. I am still feeling totally pissed off, and
frustrated, but resigned to the fact that I'm not going to be allowed to
see Pierre.

Suddenly feeling totally deflated, and again helpless, I bury my head in
the pillow and cry uncontrollably, completely apprehensive about what
Pierre is going through. It really is the worst feeling in the world
knowing your lover is going through emergency surgery, and not being able
to help and support him. I am really feeling devastated and gutted about
absolutely everything now. No one seems to want to help me, and I'm not
physically able to help myself. It is my worst nightmare, even worse than
the night terrors I used to experience.

I am a complete train wreck, and no matter how hard mum, François and
Sarah try, they can't get me to calm down in the slightest. Manuel's dad
would help too, but my changeable mood has scared Callum and Manuel even
more, so the man stays with the youngsters to try to calm them down. For
the first time in my life I have not thought about Callum's feelings in the
slightest. It isn't because I don't care about him; I just have forgotten
that he is even here because my mind is firmly fixed on Pierre.

I continue to wallow in my emotions, which still seem to be changing by the
minute. One minute it's anger and frustration, the next it's guilt, then
comes the feeling of helplessness, before it all starts over again. I feel
like I'm on a rollercoaster ride, but it only ever seems to go down. There
are no ups, no fleeting feelings of happiness and joy. No I'm in complete
despair. The same black fog that I had felt, when Pierre was so cruelly
taken out of my life the first time, has enveloped me all over again.

The doctor returns with the psychologist about ten minutes later. The
doctor is dumbstruck by the scene he is greeted to, because he realises
that my mental state must have really deteriorated and quickly. The
psychologist doesn't waste any time and comes straight over to the side of
the bed, finding a space to wedge himself into between the others who have
crowded around me, in an attempt to calm my mood.

The psych proceeds to try to talk to me, but I'm too distraught to hear
anything he says. All that my mind is getting is a whole heap of mumbo
jumbo. It doesn't help that he can only speak in French, so François has
to translate while he talks, which just ends up in a mishmash of different
words and voices. He still tries profusely to get me to respond to
anything, but I refuse to co-operate, and even if I wanted to I'm not sure
that I could anyway. Well, at least not coherently anyway.

Having given up, after a good twenty minutes, of trying to get any sort of
response from me, the doctor and the psychologist pull François and mum
aside to talk. With François doing the translating, the psych asks mum
what has happened, well, at least what her knowledge is about what I've
gone through. He looks completely baffled when mum say to him that I was
adamant that nothing at all happened, because the symptoms I'm showing
indicate otherwise.

It is at this point that mum knows that she is going to have to give them
my history. So she tells them about the years of physical abuse I have
suffered at the hands of my father, along with dad raping
me. Unsurprisingly the doctor and psychologist both look appalled with what
I have gone through, but they aren't shocked by it in the slightest. I'm
just another sad case in a long list of sad cases as far as they are
concerned.

Mum then decides that she had better tell them about my relationship with
Pierre, and all the positive spinoffs that have been related to it. The
psychologist looks at her rather intriguingly, while she tells him about my
relationship with Pierre, because he has never heard of such a strong
connection between people so young. It isn't something that he considers
wrong, no far from it; instead it gives him an idea.

"Josh! Josh! Can you hear me? If you can then the doctors say that after
you have had your physical check-up, then you will be allowed to go and at
least observe Pierre if he is in surgery still. If he isn't then you will
be allowed to see him." Mum says in an excited voice, because she knows
that if anything is going to make me better it is the prospect of seeing
Pierre again.

I don't hear any of it though. The black fog surrounding me seems to have
gotten darker, but at the same time more peaceful. I feel like I'm floating
a million miles away, heading towards the stars. It is such a surreal
feeling, and the most at peace I have ever felt. I see Pierre just up ahead
of me, so I yell to him. He turns around and waits for me, so as quickly as
I can I head straight towards him; longing to embrace him all over again.

The doctor becomes incredibly concerned when I don't react at all to what
mum says, and even more worried with the lack of response when mum shakes
me. He rushes to the side of the bed, takes a hold of my arm to check for
my pulse on my wrist. It isn't there, which has the doctor totally
baffled. To double check, he quickly rips the blanket off and flips me
over, before he places a whole lot of electrodes on my chest and starts up
the heart monitor. It shows a flat-line, which has everyone in the room
scared shitless about what has happened.

The doctor yells frantically for an emergency crash cart to be brought into
the room, which scares everyone even further knowing something has gone
severely wrong. Callum and Manuel cling to Manuel's father even tighter,
and are crying uncontrollably. Manuel's dad tries to escort them from the
room in order for them not to see what is happening, but they both refuse
to budge. Sarah backs away from me in horror realising that she has been
trying to comfort a dead person. She really can't believe that she didn't
even notice her brother slipping away on her, but then again no one else
can either.

I'm getting closer and closer to Pierre with every passing second, and the
closer I get the more I notice this magical light that seems to be calling
for both of us. It is just so beautiful, and the way it lights up my lover
makes him look even more magnificent. The image will forever be burnt into
my brain that's for sure. I am so close now that I can almost touch him,
when he suddenly disintegrates right before my eyes and vanishes into thin
air. I suddenly feel like I'm getting pulled backwards at an alarming rate,
and there is nothing I can do to stop myself.

With a sudden but loud beep, the heart monitor suddenly comes back to
life. Everyone in the room looks extremely puzzled by that, given the crash
cart is yet to arrive. A sense of relief fills the air from knowing that I
am indeed alive, but they aren't sure whether my heart had truly stopped or
whether it is the heart monitor playing up. The psychologist slips from the
room quietly not long after my monitor starts working again, but nobody
notices.

The doctor informs mum via François that I'm going to have to undergo a
series of tests on my heart. He wants to make absolutely sure that my heart
is fine, and not going to arrest like that again. He still has no
explanation as to why it suddenly started working again though, which has
him completely baffled. Mum does what all good parents would do under the
circumstances and agrees to allow them to do the tests on me. The doctor
then proceeds to tell mum what tests he is going to put me through and what
is involved, to which mum still agrees to allow it to go ahead.

"Vous n'allez pas le croire!" The psychologist says as he bursts back into
the room, surprising everyone because they hadn't even noticed that he was
gone.

"You're not going to believe this!" François translates.

"Je viens de parler à quelqu'un de vous en chirurgie d'urgence." The
psychologist continues.

"He has just spoken to someone from up in emergency surgery."

"Pierre est mort sur la table d'opération, mais ils ont réussi à
le ramener. Tout cela est arrivé dans le même temps nous avons perdu
Josh."

"Pierre died on the operating table, but they managed to bring him back. It
all happened around the same time we lost Josh." François
translates. His voice shows a mixture of relief at hearing Pierre is still
alive, but also confusion because he can't understand why the psychologist
even mentioned the timing of my hiccup.

"S'il vous plait pardonnez-moi de sauter aux conclusions, mais je crois
fermement que leurs deux incidents sont relies."

"Please forgive me for jumping to conclusions, but I strongly believe their
two incidents to be connected." François says, before he looks straight
over to the psychologist in complete and utter disbelief.

François and the psychologist continue to deliberate about what the
doctor is implying. The more the psychologist says the more dumbfounded
François becomes. He is really struggling to fully comprehend what the
psychologist is telling him, but at the same time his gut tells him that
the doctor is right. Mum and Sarah are trying their hardest to understand
what is being said, but neither of them know enough French at all to be
useful. Manuel's dad overhears the whole conversation, and like François
struggles to believe what is being said.

"Je veux essayer quelque chose, donc une fois que Pierre est sorti de
chirurgie je veux Josh d'être là avec lui." The psychologist says,
once he has concluded his conversation with François.

"He says that he wants to try something out, so once Pierre is out of
surgery he wants Josh to be there with him." François informs everyone,
loosely translating what psychologist has said.

Mum and Sarah look totally confused with what François has informed
them, because they have no idea whatsoever about what is going
on. François and Manuel's dad are still sceptical about everything,
because they can't fathom what the psychologist is implying because they
have never heard of such a thing happening before. The other doctor looks
at his colleague like he is out of his mind, because like François and
Manuel's dad he is very sceptical about what the psychologist is proposing.

The doctor doesn't protest though because he still feels that it is best
for me to see Pierre, well at least once I have woken up again. The doctor
helps the psychologist in moving me, along with the heart monitor, because
the doctor is not yet convinced that I'm stable enough to remove it. So
they get everything ready for me to transfer between wards to where Pierre
is going to be, once they have finished operating on him.

Mum, Sarah, François, Manuel's dad, and the two youngsters all follow
the doctors while they weave their way through the maze of corridors around
the hospital. François uses this as his opportunity to explain to mum
and Sarah what the psychologist told him. They listen to the man intently
while he explains as best he can what he had been told. Sarah clicks on
first to what François is implying, and it doesn't take too long for mum
to cotton on as well.

"He really thinks that the connection between Josh and Pierre is that
strong? I can't believe it, well more to the point I can't believe I missed
that. Looking back on it, it was all so obvious, but now hearing this has
cemented it for me." Mum says to François incredulously.

"Huh... what... you believe what the psychologist is saying?" François
asks in disbelief.

"How could I not. You see not too long ago back in New Zealand a case like
this came over the news. Again they were two young boys who had such a
strong connection that they could feel the other's pain, and actually pull
the other out of a coma. I didn't believe it to start with, but Josh became
friends with those boys, who came to see him while he was in hospital
before we came over here. While the boys were trying their best to keep
Josh happy, I used the chance to talk with their parents. They told me
everything, which at the time I was completely disgusted about, but now I
can see what a truly wonderful thing it is." Mum replies.

François looks at mum incredulously after hearing her explanation about
Dan and Caleb. He struggles to believe that there is another case of the
same type of thing, let alone the fact that both cases come from the same
tiny island nation of New Zealand. In fact thinking about it mum can fully
understand why François and Manuel's dad are still so dumbfounded about
it, because in a country of around four million people there have now been
two cases of this sort of thing. The odds alone would be much higher than
the population of our country.

I still haven't woken from the episode I had before, but my mind is not
somewhere I want it to be either. I am living a horrible nightmare, and no
matter how hard I try I can't wake from it. It's almost like without Pierre
I have fallen straight to hell. My dreams are truly horrible and torturous,
worse than anything I have ever had before. I can feel the most horrible
and sickening feeling in my head, almost like it is getting drilled into,
which just makes my dreams even worse.

It takes a while for the doctors to wheel me right around to the emergency
surgery theatres and recovery rooms. The journey is slow because of the
amount of other people the doctors have to negotiate around, and because of
the other patients who are also getting carted between wards. The rest of
the family, well my makeshift family, follow me and the doctors all the
way, whilst continuing to talk amongst themselves.

The closer we get to where my lover is, the more at peace my mind
becomes. The drilling sensation has even stopped, but it really does feel
like I have a hole in my head. I can feel my lover's essence starting to
fill me again, but it isn't anywhere near as strong as it was before. The
presence of my lover is enough to slowly wake me again, because I know he
is getting really close. The nightmares have all gone, and my eyelids
suddenly feel as light as feathers, unlike the concrete blocks they were
before.

"Where is Pierre? I know he is around because I can feel him. Where the
hell is he?" I say agitatedly while I return to the land of the living.

The doctors both stop pushing the bed, completely surprised at my sudden
outburst, because they didn't expect me to wake again at least till I was
back with Pierre. I am suddenly and unexpectedly jumped on by two relieved
nine year olds, who let me know how they are feeling by clinging onto me
like their little lives depend on it. I know they are happy to see me, but
they are both crying uncontrollably with their heads buried into my
shoulders.

"Oh thank god Josh, you gave us all one hell of a fright. We are taking you
through to see Pierre now." Mum says happy as anything to see me back in
the land of the living. I'm totally confused though, because I have no idea
about the fright I had given them.

"What the fuck mum, what fright? I just fell asleep, although I did have
some really fucked up dreams." I say still agitated by anything and
everything. The only thing that doesn't seem to bother me at the moment is
my two little brothers who are holding onto me as tightly as they can.

"Sorry dear I didn't even think. Of course you wouldn't have known, but
your heart stopped beating and the real strange thing is that it just all
of a sudden decided to start again, before they could even get the crash
cart in." Mum informs me. She deliberately at this stage doesn't tell me
about Pierre, because she knows that my mind is still too unstable to
process that information correctly.

I am completely shocked and surprised to learn that my heart had stopped
beating, because I've never had that happen for no reason before. It really
is something I had not expected to hear, because it didn't feel like
anything had even happened, just some crazy dreams. It has me extremely
worried now, just thinking that there is something seriously wrong with my
heart. I mean there has to be right? It's not like a healthy heart just
stops, and then suddenly decides it wants to start up again, right?

"Where are we going, and have the doctors done any tests?" I ask in a
sudden panic, totally forgetting that mum has already told me where we are
going.

"Josh, calm down, the doctors say that you are alright. We are going to go
and see Pierre, remember?" Mum replies in a calming and soothing voice. It
does little to calm my fears, but on the bright side seeing Pierre again
will definitely make me forget about my problems.

I grab hold of mum's hand instinctively, because I am still feeling really
worried about my heart, but I'm also really scared about what I'm going to
see when we get to Pierre. I am praying that he is alright, but there is
something in my gut that tells me that not everything has gone to plan. I
don't know what it is, but something just doesn't feel right.

The doctors, seeing that I'm not going to release mum's hand, whilst they
also know that they have no hopes of getting Manuel and Callum off the bed,
start to push us towards where Pierre is again. Mum is holding my hand now
knowing that I need the comforting still, but it just isn't enough. The
closer to Pierre we get the more the butterflies in my stomach keep
churning away. I can sense Pierre with each step we take, almost like I can
feel his essence, or soul creeping further into me the closer I get to him.

It is such a surreal feeling and one that really confirms to me that me and
Pierre are perfect for each other. Again, and I don't know why, but
something just doesn't feel quite right. I really can't pinpoint why I feel
this way, but the closer to Pierre I get the stronger that uneasy, almost
wrong feeling gets. I know that something has gone severely wrong during
surgery, but I don't know what. It has to be during surgery, because I know
that they had to drill into his brain which explains a bit about my
nightmare.

The doctors stop pushing my bed outside what looks to be a reception, or
nurse's station or something, and start talking to someone behind the
counter. I listen intently trying to overhear the conversation, but I
understand very little of it, because as is to be expected they are talking
in French. I'm gutted because I am desperate to know as much as possible
about my boyfriend, but they are making it totally impossible for me. Even
if I could understand French, they are talking in such a hushed tone that I
can't hear everything they say anyway.

I try to pick up on other cues in order to try and work out how Pierre is
faring. I study the doctors' faces and body language, but again it is of no
use. They are far too professional, and the serious look on their faces
hardly changes at all. Their body language is almost non-existent, so I
can't even use that as a gauge. I am getting more and more paranoid that
something is really, really wrong and that is the reason for them being so
secretive, but they are doctors and professional ones at that, so even
their secrecy is to be expected.

Mum again must sense my change in mood because while we are waiting for the
doctors to finish talking, she gently caresses my forehead and cheeks. It
actually feels really nice and does help to ease my fears a little bit. I
do feel like I'm six years old again and with a cold from the way mum is
doing that, but I don't mind one little bit. I suppose again it is just
another fleeting moment where I can just enjoy the little things about
childhood which I had robbed from me.

I can feel the anger welling up in me again, while I think about all the
things my father stole from me. With my emotions as unstable as they are,
it takes just the littlest thing to change my whole mind-set, so being
reminded about the little things I never had in my boyhood has really
pissed me off again. The worst thing of all is that complete and utter
wanker took my innocence from me. I will never be whole again, and I can't
give Pierre what is rightfully his, my virginity.

Again my emotions play havoc with me, and I quickly go from being pissed
off and angry, to depressed and crying like a little schoolgirl. I am
extremely upset, which has upset and worried everyone around me. My
emotions are in such disarray that everyone is getting really concerned
about my mental state, well, everyone except the psychologist.

For some strange reason, he isn't concerned in the slightest about the
emotional rollercoaster I am going through. Instead it's almost like he is
confident about something, cocky even, like he has totally convinced
himself that he is right about something, and that nothing at all will
prove him wrong. His behaviour I do find very odd, and I can't understand
it.

Even with my emotions in tatters the psychologist's attitude really bugs
me, but again that is probably because of my emotions. The other thing that
is frustrating the hell out of me is that the doctors are still talking,
and it seems like they have been talking for hours. I really just want them
to stop talking and take me through to see Pierre. I can't stand this
waiting around any longer, because it's driving me nuts.

And yet we wait, and wait, and wait. I just keep going through all the
emotions, while mum and now Sarah try to comfort me as best they
can. Callum and Manuel are still hugging me tightly, so tight that I don't
think you could get a crowbar between them and me to pry them off. The good
thing is that their tears have all dried up, but their eyes are swollen and
red from the pain and anguish they have been feeling throughout the day.

I'm starting to feel a little funny, almost light headed and dizzy. It has
come on really suddenly, and the result is that I start to feel really
nauseous. Then I suddenly get this severe unyielding pain in my head. It is
agonizing and I physically can't stop myself from screaming in excruciating
pain. I rip my hand free from mum's grasp, and then hold my head in both
hands hoping it will do something to numb the pain.

I give everyone, including the psychologist, one hell of a fright when I
scream out from the agony I'm feeling. There had been no real warning of
the sudden pain afflicting me, so no-one at all was expecting it. Manuel
and Callum both almost literally jump out of the bed in fright, because for
a second there they though that they may have hurt me. Knowing that they
have done nothing wrong, they start to get really worried about what has
suddenly gone so terribly wrong again.

Mum is terribly worried and tries to help soothe the pain by stroking my
head. Sarah also rushes to my side to see whether she can offer any
assistance, and is quickly followed by François and Manuel's dad. None
of them have any real idea about what to do, because they have no idea what
is suddenly causing me to be in so much pain. The doctors themselves look
totally baffled about what has rapidly developed, and so they are very slow
to react.

The doctors finally start to recompose themselves, and head over to me to
give me an urgent check-up, when all of a sudden a couple of other doctors
blast right by us, followed by a couple of nurses. They all seem to be in a
mad rush like something really urgent has come up. I am a little startled
by the sudden commotion, but it is quickly forgotten about once they have
all disappeared from sight.

The pain in my head is still horrendous and unrelenting, and the result is
causing my eyes to lose all focus. It really feels like my head is about to
explode into a million pieces. The pain is beyond unbearable and I can feel
my body starting to go into shock, and shutdown. I feel sick in the
stomach, and on the verge of heaving out all the contents from the
excruciating pain I'm in.

Then just like that it all seems to ease. The agonisingly sharp pain in my
head slowly starts to dissipate, giving my eyes a chance to refocus. My
stomach also settles down, and the nauseating feeling quickly disappears. I
can feel my whole body relaxing since the pain induced trauma has
vanished. Almost as quickly as all the strange symptoms started, they have
all gone again, leaving me feeling right as rain almost like nothing had
ever happened.

The doctors finally manage to push everyone aside, so that they can finally
look at me to try to determine what is going on in my head. But they stop
short with dumbfounded and completely baffled looks on their faces, seeing
that I seem to have fully recovered again and am back at full health. This
time they decide to take no second chances, and quickly wheel the bed into
the nearest vacant room to give me a thorough check-up.

I don't make it easy on them again, by refusing to allow them to fully
expose me, because I am still ashamed of anyone seeing my naked body. I
don't even want to see myself in the buff, because for some reason I think
that my body is tainted and dirty. It's a similar feeling to what I have
felt for a while, well, up until Pierre came into my life. I feel the same
way as I did after dad had his wicked way with me, but I don't know why
because nothing happened earlier today.

Due to my reluctance to lose the sheet so that the doctors can assess me,
they try to compromise. In the end we agree for the sheet to come off my
chest so long as it doesn't go any further down than my bellybutton. I
really don't know why I made such an issue of it, especially since the
sheet was never going to go any lower than that anyway. The doctors really
only needed access to my bare chest in order to be able to examine my chest
and head for anything out of the usual.

They seem to be checking my body for any cuts or abrasions which may have
become infected. But after turning up nothing on the upper half of my body,
they give up and pull the sheet back up. Well so I thought. They made me
feel totally comfortable with the examination of me, before they pull the
sheet up from the bottom, all the way up my smooth legs to my bellybutton.

I am horrified and dismayed that the doctors could do that to me, and I'm
on the verge of losing control of my emotions all over again. I really
can't believe after the resistance I put up, that they would expose me like
this. I feel so embarrassed knowing my dirty tainted pecker is visible to
everyone. My mind is spinning from all the mixed emotions, but the
overwhelming emotion I'm feeling is betrayal.

The doctors thoroughly check my legs and crotch for anything out of the
blue, but again they come up empty. Then they roll me over so they can
check the back of me. My body shudders violently, and I finally lose
control of my emotions and cry my eyes out, when they touch my bottom. The
doctors, instantly picking up that my mind can't cope with this for too
long, really speed up their examination of my ass. They do spread the
cheeks but only briefly, and although they want to further examine me after
seeing the severe scarring my father caused, they do the wise thing and
move on.

They finish up quickly, and pull the cover back down to cover me back up. I
am still shaking and crying when they pull the sheet back down to expose my
back, but the examination there is very quick because the doctors are no
longer expecting to find anything. Mum and Sarah try their best to calm me
down again, while the doctors check the rest of my vital signs. The doctors
finish and give me a clean bill of health, well before I start to get back
under control of my emotions.

When I eventually calm down enough, the doctors decide that it's time to
move me. They wheel me out of the room and into the corridor again, but
this time it looks like they are actually going to take me somewhere. We go
further along the corridor and deeper into the bowels of the emergency
surgery ward. We pass what must be the operating theatres, which seem to
all be in use because of the red lights outside the doors, which are all
glowing to indicate that they are in use.

We finally stop outside a closed door to a recovery room, and I feel my
heart do a leap for joy. Pierre's presence is really strong now, so I know
that he is extremely close. The psychologist opens up the door to the room,
before he comes around the back of the bed to continue in assisting with
the moving of me. They push me into the room and what I am greeted with
makes my heart sink right through the floor, and I just break down in
tears.

************

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