Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2013 05:33:57 +1200
From: Pennywise3636 <pennywise3636@gmail.com>
Subject: Washed Up (Gay / Young friends) chapter 18

Washed Up.

Disclaimer:

Warning: this story contains sexual content, contact between young boys,
and other themes that may offend. If the subject matter offends you, is not
to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find
something else to read. In the following story all names and events are
completely fictional.  Although I may mention a specific location, place,
or person any resemblance to said people, location, or places is completely
unintentional.

Chapter 18:

I clear my throat, and hug Pierre tightly. I try to get my mind to remember
back as far as it can. Back to when I was only a really young little
boy. The days before school, maybe back when I was in kindergarten. That I
quickly decide was too long ago because I don't remember anything at all
about kindy. But I do remember my first day of school and what dad was like
way back then.

I clear my throat a second time, before I start to talk about the man who
had ruined my life. This is going to be one tough recollection, but only
because I want to be honest with the way I answer all Alice's questions
about him. It just tears me up thinking about it, because I know a lot of
people will never believe what I'm going to say, but oh well, it is true
all of it.

But before I get to start answering Alice, there is a knock at the door. I
sigh in relief hoping that someone has come to save me. The doors opens
cautiously making me wonder whether Callum has snuck off to be with me, but
as the door opens more and more, I know it's not him, nor is it Manuel. In
fact on the other side of the door, are people I never in my wildest dreams
would have thought I would see here or anywhere around here.

************

"Um... Hi... I'm sorry to intrude, but is it alright if we come in?" The
sheepish voice of Caleb says, upon seeing that we have a visitor.

"Yeah... Um... Of course, but how... why are you here?" I stammer in
disbelief at seeing Caleb and his boyfriend Dan at the hospital in France
of all places.

"Well, I was at the opening ceremony for my art exhibition which is being
held at the Louvre in Paris at the moment. Your mum called our parents to
let them know what happened, so we came down here as soon as we could." A
more composed Dan informs me.

"Is that... is that Pierre?" Caleb blurts out excitedly, at seeing my lover
lying next to me in bed. He is looking better than the other day, but still
looks in really bad shape. His head is still pretty heavily bandaged, but
he can talk and see now so that is the main thing.

"Yes that's my special boyfriend Pierre! He won't be able to talk with you
properly because his brain is a little messed up, meaning he can only talk
in Norwegian at the moment, but he still understands English fully." I
inform the two boys, who look a bit dismayed and confused by what I have
said.

"Why Norwegian, I thought you said he was French?" A totally baffled Caleb
asks me, so I tell them what we discovered last night. It clears things up
for them a bit, but like everyone else they are wondering why he didn't
revert back to his native tongue. One of the mysteries of the mind I
suppose.

Dan and Caleb take a seat and we all just sit around talking for a
while. Even Alice joins in because she recognises the two boys from the
news and subsequent interviews. It is really good to have them here, and I
know Pierre appreciates it too, because Alice constantly has to translate
things he wants to say. The boys take it pretty well, even though I know -
and I know Pierre realises - just how frustrating it is. I feel really
sorry for my boyfriend because he can't converse normally at the moment,
but I'm pretty sure it's all going to come right soon.

"Right Josh, don't think you are going to get out of what I want you to do
just because you have visitors." Alice says suddenly, putting an end to our
conversation.

"Alice, is it alright if Dan and Caleb stay for this?" I ask pleadingly. I
don't know why but I really want them here with me while I discuss my
father with my psychologist. It is something that I feel they need to hear,
because it may explain a few things about why dad did what he did.

"If you are comfortable with it then I don't see why not, but I have to
advise you that this is supposed to be strictly confidential. At the end of
the day it is your decision, so I'm not going to try and dissuade you in
any way." She replies, causing me to produce a big smile.

"Cool, thank you so much...! Are you two going to stay and hear bout my
dad?"

"You totally sure you're comfortable with this, because we don't want to
intrude in something so private?" Dan replies on behalf of the two of
them. He is a little concerned that I may be getting in over my head and
just using them as an excuse to avoid it.

"Yes I'm sure! It might explain a bit about why dad got to the stage where
he raped me. To be honest I am still a little confused, but maybe someone
might come up with something I've overlooked." I reply. I am after
potential answers as much as everyone.

"You were raped? You didn't tell us that!" Caleb replies distraughtly. It
turns out that he hadn't understood what I had been implying the last time
I saw them. Although I see that Dan has, because he has a confused look on
his face, while he looks at his younger lover.

"Yes he did, well sort of anyway... He implied that is what happened last
time we saw him." Dan says to his distraught lover, who has now come over
to give me a big hug.

"I'm sorry Caleb, but at the time if I had told you in those words I would
have had a severe mental reaction, so I tried to make it as clear as I
could about what happened. I'm really sorry you didn't understand what I
meant." I say while giving the sweet and caring boy a hug back.

"It's alright. I suppose I just didn't think about it properly. I really
feel for you, because it must have been absolutely horrible." He replies,
before squeezing me tightly. He then a little reluctantly releases me from
the hug, and goes back to sit beside his boyfriend.

"Ok, well I suppose I should start telling you about my father. From what I
can remember about him before I was seven, he was a really awesome dad. He
would do anything for us kids, and he was so much fun too. He got me doing
so many things. If it wasn't for my dad I never would have had the
knowledge I needed to save Pierre, because it was him who enrolled me to be
a junior life guard. He also drove us out to Piha Beach every weekend, so
that I could do that and learn to surf. Then one day it all changed
dramatically."

I start to cry a little remembering all those great times I used to have
with dad. He used to be so awesome, and I loved him to bits. Pierre
squeezes me a little to remind me that he is there to support me through
this, which I am glad about, because I still can't believe how much and how
quickly he changed into a monster.

"One day I got home from school and dad was home. He had Callum, who was
only four at the time, bundled up in the corner about to smack him. It was
really strange, because dad to that point had never hit any of us
kids. What was stranger was that he was drunk as a skunk, because he never
touched alcohol. Dad had been laid off from the ports of Auckland, where he
worked, due to restructuring. He was so disappointed and depressed at
having been made redundant that he went straight to the pub and got
trashed."

Alice, I can see, knows this sort of story all too well, but even she is
surprised just how bad he got. The alcohol does explain a lot, but it
doesn't go far enough to explain why a usually kind and caring man would
turn around and rape his own son. Caleb looks confused about why drinking
would turn someone into a monster, because he hasn't ever seen the effects
of alcohol, but Dan has heard all about how bad it can be so sort of
understands what happened.

"He didn't smack Callum then, and I managed to ensure dad never laid a hand
on him ever. When I came home and caught dad almost hitting Callum, he
broke down on the spot. He just crumpled down to the floor and burst out
crying. He really was ashamed of himself for what he was about to do that
day, because it was the first time he had ever lost control of his
temper. What makes it worse was there was no reason for it, because all
Callum had done was play with his cars a little too loudly." I tell them.

I can see a huge look of relief from both Caleb and Dan, because I think
that I had forgotten to tell them that Callum never got hit by dad. I think
they now understand why me and my little brother are so close now. The
worst part is that it wasn't the end of Callum's suffering, and I'm not
just talking about when I got beaten up.

"Dad's mood was really changeable for the next six months or so, because he
would only drink every now and then. He was still trying hard to get
another job, but even though he was good at his job, no other port company
wanted him. The longer it took the more disillusioned and depressed he
became, and that led to more drinking. When dad was drinking was when his
mood was the worst, and he really didn't have any tolerance or patience
with Callum, but he was right as rain when he wasn't on the booze."

"So your dad was only volatile when he was drinking alcohol? Do you know if
he had any mental illness?" Alice asks.

"Don't know, you would have to ask mum, but yeah it was only when he
drank." I reply.

"Okay, I will ask your mum, because what you are telling me sounds
remarkably like he has a mental illness which requires medication to set
right. I say that because most medication to treat mental disorders are
medications counteracted by alcohol." Alice explains to me. It makes some
sense thinking about it, but I don't remember dad ever taking medication of
any type.

"Just a thought, anyway I should let you continue."

"Dad gave up looking for another job, and pretty much started drinking full
time. Home really started to become hell, and I was getting beaten for any
little thing. Even though dad didn't have any tolerance for Callum, he
didn't raise his hand to him. Instead dad used to yell and scream abuse at
my little brother causing him to go running off in tears." I take just a
little breather before I tell them the next part, because it still upsets
me to this day.

"It got so bad that one day after half an hour of waiting for Callum at the
front gate of school, I decided I had better go find him. I finally found
him, after an extensive search, hidden away inside a toilet cubicle. He was
just sitting on the toilet, with his feet on the seat as well, holding
himself. He was rocking back and forth while crying his eyes out. My little
five year old brother was so terrified to go home and face up to dad, that
he was happy to lock himself away for eternity in the toilets." I am trying
hard not to cry, but seeing the images of my sketched out little brother is
too much for me to take.

I feel Pierre hug me tighter again, since he can hear that I'm crying. It
feels so wonderful having him able to hug me properly again, but what makes
the moment even better is that I know Pierre is feeling the same pain for
Callum as I am. I can see Dan and Caleb also hugging each other, both of
them in tears as well, because my story has really struck a nerve with
them.

"It left Callum with a big emotional scar, because even to this day he
can't stand it when someone yells. He has calmed down a lot compared to
what he used to be like, because he doesn't curl up into a ball any more
and bawl his eyes out, but he still tries to block his ears and sort of
sings to himself in an attempt to block out the yelling. What I have since
learned, is that seeing dad beating me has had a much bigger impact on my
brother than anything dad ever did to him." I say, after recovering enough
to be able to speak coherently again.

"But back to dad. He just kept getting worse and worse the longer he
drank. His verbal abuse to Callum was horrendous, and my physical beatings
became more intense and sometimes bordering on deadly. Life was miserable,
but I was too young to know any different, let alone find anywhere to help
us. I ran away numerous times, but because of Callum's age I always left
him behind, which led to the inevitable crawling back home because I could
bear to leave him. Mum always used to cave in to him though, until that one
fateful night which ended it all. The rest, well, is history." I finish up.

Surprisingly, I manage to keep control of my emotions for the last part,
but I can tell no one else in the room has. I can even hear Pierre crying,
which I'm a little concerned about given his injuries. He seems to be in no
physical pain which eases my worries. I am actually glad to see him like
this, because to me it proves he is well on the road to recovery. Caleb is
crying heavily into Dan's shoulder, because the young fellow really does
have a heart of gold and seems to feel everyone's pain, which I really do
admire about him.

After a while everyone starts to calm down and recompose themselves. Caleb
and Pierre look the worst for wear, with both of them having red puffy eyes
from crying so intensely. Alice and Dan on the other hand both show trails
from where their tears have dribbled, but have managed to keep their
emotions somewhat in check to prevent them losing it, like the other two
had.

Once Alice is back under control, she explains a few basic things to try to
help me with the trauma side of what dad did to me. She then says that she
needs to think and come up with a plan to try to remedy the bigger issues I
have from the years of abuse. The biggest thing for her is to get Callum
involved as well, because she feels that he can benefit from some help. The
poor little bugger has been through so much that it has impacted on his
life, so Alice really wants to help him out as well.

Alice leaves a short time after that, allowing me and Pierre to spend some
time with our visitors. Not that it really mattered too much, because they
have already decided that they are going to be here to support us through
this for a couple of weeks. I am really glad when I hear them say that, but
yet again I do wish it had been under better circumstances. Some things
just can't be helped I guess.

I only saw Alice occasionally over the next couple of days, because she was
still trying to figure out a game plan for me and Pierre. She also was
spending a lot of her time with Callum trying to help him to get over
things. It turns out that he was a lot more deeply traumatised about
everything than anyone knew. He had been trying to mask everything, which
caused his brain to pretty much shut down. That explains why he sleeps so
much and yet is still so tired. I know he had already told me that, but
hearing it from a professional just makes things sink in better.

Alice got Callum to really delve deep into his subconscious and tell her
exactly what was going on in there. He is really messed up, and between all
of us Alice really has her work cut out. She works really hard trying to
give Callum the sort of help and advice which he is going to find useful,
but his age makes things harder. Not so much his physical age, it's his
mental age. Because of everything he has had to go through he has a mental
age in some ways closer to that of a twenty year old.

He learned very quickly to blank everything negative out, which has brought
him almost to the point of a complete mental breakdown. I know the
incidents with me have not helped things one bit, and Alice is really
surprised that this last one didn't lead to Callum having a meltdown. She
is not sure why, but thinks that Manuel may have had something to do with
it.

She has come to the conclusion that Callum and Manuel will never have a gay
relationship together, because she is certain that they are both
straight. But that knowledge has confused things more, because they still
seem to have some sort of deep connection, almost like they are twin
brothers. That can't be possible because there is no doubt that they have
entirely different parents, but it still seems like they have the special
bond which seems to occur in twins.

Alice is convinced that Manuel can help Callum out, just like me and
Pierre, so she decides to try to use the boy to aid Callum in his
recovery. With Manuel there to bolster Alice's efforts to assist my brother
in his recovery, she comes up with a game plan for them. It is going to
involve equal assistance from both the boys to get Callum through this, but
Alice is quietly confident that they will do it and that my brother will
recover surprisingly quickly from his ordeals.

She hopes that within the next six months or so Callum will be just a
normal nine year old again, and the past will no longer affect his
life. Manuel himself is going to see huge benefits from it too, because
it's going to help him to get over what happened with his mum once and for
all. I feel really bad about the whole thing with Callum, and most of it is
guilt, because I have totally overlooked how badly affected he was, and I
know I have inadvertently caused a lot of his suffering. I wish I could go
back and protect him better, not only from dad but shield him from the pain
I caused too.

During the time Alice has been with Callum, Caleb and Dan have been helping
me try to fix Pierre. We are all desperate for him to start speaking
English again, because without Alice in the room, we can't understand a
word he says. I think that his mind is slowly on the mend though, because
every now and then he speaks half a sentence or so, in either English or
French. He still has no control over what actual language he is speaking
in, which means some sentences have all three jumbled into it.

Over the two days though, Pierre slowly starts to gain control over the
language he is speaking in. He can now speak whole sentences again in
English, but every so often he slips into either Norwegian or French. The
main thing is we can pretty much understand him again, which enables us to
properly include him into the conversations.

As the day turns to night we have Pierre pretty much speaking the language
he wants to. We are all totally exhausted from the effort we have put into
helping Pierre with this, but Pierre has had it the hardest. He has had to
try and battle his brain, rewiring it back the way it is supposed to be. He
is bushed, and falls asleep without any of us realising.

Caleb and Dan decide that it is best that they go find their parents and
head back to the hotel. So they say their goodbyes, giving me a huge hug to
show me that they really do care about me. They then give Pierre a little
hug, because they don't want to wake him after the exhausting day he has
had. They both give me a big wave as they walk out the door into the
corridor and disappear for the night.

I just lay there buzzing in happiness and satisfaction once they have
left. We have achieved a lot today and I'm really thrilled about it. My
boyfriend is improving in leaps and bounds, meaning he is quickly returning
to the beautifully wonderful boy he was before the incident. His accent has
even come back, which I am so glad about, because he has the sexiest voice
in the world with it.

I am thrilled with our accomplishments, and I have Caleb and Dan to thank
immensely for their help, because without them I don't think I would have
got so far so quick. They have really been an inspiration to me, with how
willingly they help out other people with their problems, and I just wish I
was more like them. I know they keep telling me that I have done so much
too, but it's all still minor compared to what they have achieved in life.

I lie there for a while longer just lost in my thoughts. I really want to
be more like Caleb and Dan, so I'm just thinking more about what it is that
I need to do. The more I think the harder it becomes, because my mind is
fried too much at the moment after an exhausting day helping Pierre. Within
ten or so minutes my eyes have closed and I have drifted off into a
well-deserved peaceful night's sleep.

Pierre and I sleep well into the morning, before either one of us starts to
wake. I awaken before my lover does, but it takes a long, long time. I feel
like my brain has gone for a nice long walk and hasn't come back, because I
am struggling to notice anything that is going on around me. I can feel
Pierre's magical presence, but my eyes are too blurry and out of focus to
see anything.

Pierre starts to rouse a couple of minutes later, but he looks even more
spaced out than I feel. I think all the work he has had to do has fried his
brain pretty well, but in a good way. It takes ages before either of us
fully awakens to the world, and the first thing I notice is that the
sparkle has come back in his dazzling hazel coloured eyes. They look almost
full of life again, like he is back, and back for good. I just stare into
them, getting totally lost in his soul. It feels so wonderful to be able to
do this again, and I know Pierre is lost in my eyes as well.

The world around us starts to melt into oblivion, before a ringing noise
snaps us back to reality. I look around the room to see where the ringing
noise is coming from, and am surprised to see everyone already here. Dan
and Caleb are sitting in the chairs, and have been for a while waiting for
us to wake up. Alice is also there beside them, and has been talking
intently with them while they have been waiting. The ringing noise is
coming from none of them though.

To my surprise it is coming from the direction of mum. I didn't even know
she had a cell-phone for starters. The look on her face tells me why she
has one. It is a look of real concern mixed with uncertainty and
apprehension. It has to be from the witness protection agency, which means
we are about to get some news about dad. I won't know whether it is good or
bad until mum has taken the call.

I quickly become a nervous wreck when mum reaches into her handbag to grab
the phone. Butterflies are fluttering away like crazy in my stomach and my
heart is beating hard and fast. I am starting to feel physically ill from
nerves, as mum pulls out the phone and answers it. I don't know that I can
handle the news regardless of whether it's good or bad, because I just know
that even the good news I going to be bad in a way, because it really is a
no win situation.

Mum answers the phone and I study her intently trying to pick up clues
about what has happened. She is much easier to read than the doctors,
because she makes no attempt to hide what she is feeling. Her expressions
confuse the hell out of me though, because they are all over the
place. First she seems happy, then sad, but the biggest feeling I get is a
huge sense of relief, telling me that it is all over at last.

"Josh, it's over! That was the witness protection people saying that your
father has been killed, and therefore there is no need for us to stay in
the program." Mum tells me after she disconnects the call.

I can see everyone watching me to see how I react, and I'm not really
surprised. Hearing that dad is dead is not the news I wanted to hear, and
I'm all conflicted about how I'm supposed to feel. In one way I am relieved
and happy that it's all over and that I'm safe from him now and forever,
but he was still my dad. I did love him and under all the alcohol I know he
still loved me.

It was the stupid alcohol's fault, and now because of that I don't have my
real father any more. I'm getting angry and frustrated about it, and
starting to feel dismayed and upset. How could things have got to this
point, because as much as I know he has done horrible things to me I still
feel disillusioned about how society could let this happen.

All the warning signs were clearly visible all the way through, but
everyone including my own mother ignored them. Now as a result I have been
badly abused and raped, and dad is now dead because of it. Surely someone
could have fucking well helped well before any of this ever happened. I am
furious just thinking about it, because I realise how many people have
failed me. My head is all over the place and my emotions in tatters, as I
think about what the death of my father truly means to me.

Pierre hugs me as tightly as possible since he notices that my mood is
swinging all over the place. I think I have surprised everyone with the way
I have taken the news, because to some extent I think that they all thought
I would be happy. I'm far from happy, but Pierre's hug does a lot to
stabilise my mood. I have even surprised myself, because for years I had
been wishing this to happen, but now that it has I feel lost.

"How, but why?" I sob.

"It's a bit of a long story, so I will shorten it as best I can for
you. Your dad broke into Judge Doyle's house. You remember who he was,
don't you?" Mum says.

"Yeah, he was the judge at my court-case, the one dad paid off." I reply,
still in tears and also in pain from the knowledge about dad.

"Yes you remember all right. Well he broke into his house and killed
him. It turns out he was pissed off with the judge for taking his bribe, so
he decided a bit of payback was in order for allowing you to undergo such
torture in court. He then rang emergency services to tell them what he had
done, and waited for them to turn up and try to barricade him in the
house. Once the armed offender's squad were all set up he went outside to
meet them holding a toy gun, making out that it was the real thing. They
tried to make him put the gun down, but instead he lifted it up and pointed
it straight at one of the officers, so they fired and shot him dead."

"So suicide by cop?" Alice says, more of a statement than a question. Mum
just nods her head, to confirm what Alice had said.

"The cops found a note on him addressed to you, so they are going to fax it
through to the hospital once they have examined it." Mum says, finishing
up. She is now in tears too, because she now realises exactly what my
father has done. He had one good deed left in him, it seems. Well, in our
eyes anyway, not so much in the eyes of the law.

I am feeling even more conflicted, because I now realise that there was
something wrong with dad when he was doing all that nasty shit to me and
Callum. I am starting to think that his problems ran even deeper than the
alcohol, because for some reason it seems like he had a moment of
clarity. When he did this I think that he was doing it because he thought
it was the best thing for me.

To some extent I'm sure he thought it might undo some of the damage he has
done, otherwise why the fuck would he have killed the judge? It makes no
sense whatsoever otherwise, so I am convinced that Alice is right and dad
had some sort of mental disorder, which the alcohol just made worse. There
is no other possible explanation for dad's behaviour and why he seemed to
get worse the more he drank.

"Mum, did dad have some kind of mental illness?" I ask.

"If he did then he did bloody well to hide it, why do you ask? Mum replies,
a bit confused about why I would suddenly ask such a question.

"It just makes sense if he did is all. There is so much that would be
explained by mental illness, like why did such a loving and caring person
turn so wickedly against those he loved and cared for most." I say,
watching as mum's expression changes as she starts to understand what I'm
on about.

"Yeah, I suppose you could be right, but it isn't something that I would
have thought that he could have hidden so well." Mum says in a little
disbelief. I think that she is starting to believe what I was meaning, but
she just doesn't understand how he could have hidden such a big secret from
her, his wife.

"Josh, I know you want to believe that your dad was a good person, but your
mum is right and it is something that really isn't easy to hide from
everyone. I know he has done a lot to you and you still want to see the
good side of him, but that is not going to help you to get over what he did
to you." Alice tells me as nice and gently as she possibly can.

"Dad was a good person! He proved it by killing the judge! There was just
something else wrong with him which made him do all those horrible
things. You are all wrong I know my daddy!" I scream as I finally lose it.

To hell with being rational and thinking things through, I just can't do
that at the moment, because everyone is wrong about dad. I know my dad was
a good person and now he is gone forever. Sure he put me through some
things which hurt me a lot, but the man who did those things sure as hell
wasn't my dad. He was a nice caring and loving person, who would never have
done the things he did, unless it wasn't actually him in his body.

I am so distraught from actually losing my father that I am just not
processing things like I should be. I don't know why I am so upset, but I
think a lot of it has to do with the other day when I reminded myself about
what dad used to be like. Everyone in the room is shocked and concerned
about how badly I'm taking this, but they really don't know what to do to
help me.

I am far too unstable at the moment for anyone to really try and reason
with me, and that is what they are all so scared about. They don't want to
set me off any worse than I already am, because no-one has any idea about
what the potential consequences will be. Pierre is the only one who tries
to calm me, by hugging me tighter again, and trying to stroke my back.

He knows about what I am going through, but in his case his parents were
good people who never hurt him. He, like everyone else, can't quite fathom
why I have become so upset about someone who has hurt and betrayed me so
badly. But Pierre really doesn't care, because he knows full well that I
need to grieve. I just lost my true father after all, and it really doesn't
matter what sort of man he was, because at the end of the day he still gave
me life.

Seeing me so emotionally distraught becomes too much for mum. She collapses
into a chair and buries her head in her hands as she cries her eyes
out. She too has started to remember the good man that dad was and cannot
see why I am so upset about it. The problem that mum has is that she also
keeps seeing what dad did to me, so she is more upset thinking that I have
really lost my mind and had some sort of breakdown.

Alice is starting to blame herself for me being like this, because she
realises that it most likely has something to do with the session I had
with her the other day, in which I recalled everything about the man. She
realises that it was all going to have to come out eventually and that the
timing was purely coincidental, but she still can't help but blame herself
for me losing it. The worst part for her is that she also has no idea how
to combat it.

Dan and Caleb are not sure whether it is best for them to stay or go,
because it is a highly personal matter which we are dealing with now. They
figure that they are going to stay though, because they know I'm going to
need all the support I can get to help me through this. Everyone's biggest
worry is what is going to happen when I start to remember the man which dad
became, because they are all scared that I might totally lose the plot and
go on a rampage.

It never happens, because I am fully aware of what he did to me. It is the
conflicting emotions which have worn so thin and led me to tears. It is
also grief, because I am really gutted at losing my dad, just because I
know that he was a kind and caring person. There is just something that
caused him to turn into that other man, and the way he took care of the
judge who he himself had bribed, proves to me that the kind and caring
father was still there.

"Mum, you have to tell Sarah and Callum what has happened with dad. I know
Sarah won't take it too well, but she has to know." I sob after a long
time, breaking the eerie silence that has enveloped the room.

It is about all I say, as I go straight back into my grief. Mum tries to
recompose herself, because she knows that I am right and that the others
need to know, but she is scared to leave me because of how unstable I seem
to be. Mum looks over to me to confirm her fears, because I have my head
buried in my pillow bawling my eyes out. She just cannot allow herself to
believe that I am actually grieving over my father, because she can't
accept that I have overlooked everything he has done to me.

I'm not sure why she struggles to accept it, because I have overlooked all
her failings as a parent as well. In fact I have forgiven her for
everything that she has allowed to happen to me, so why can't I do the same
for my father as well? I know there was something wrong with him, I really
do. I can feel it in my gut, and it also explains why he wrote a note
addressed to me.

Mum knows that she has to tell the others, so slowly drags herself out of
her seat before reluctantly leaving the room. Caleb at this point decides
that he wants to try to comfort me too, so gets out of his chair and heads
over to the side of the bed. He doesn't try to hug me, because he feels
that is Pierre's privilege, instead he strokes my back allowing Pierre to
hold me in both arms.

"No, don't try to calm him, just let him grieve. He needs to let it all
out." Pierre whispers to Caleb, as the boy tries to sooth me by telling me
everything will be alright.

Dan gets out of his seat as well and wanders up behind his boyfriend. He
then wraps his arms around Caleb and watches on as his lover and my lover
try to comfort me. I can really feel the love from all three of them
flowing gracefully through me, urging me to grieve and lament the death of
my father. I know that none of them fully understand why I have taken this
so badly, but they aren't worried. They are here to offer their support and
comfort.

Alice is impressed with the way the three boys have gone about things. What
impresses her even more is the way none of them judge me about it. She
knows that a lot of people would probably tell me to stop acting like a
baby and get over it, especially after all my father has done, but the
three of them accept the fact that I am devastated to lose my dad and just
want me to grieve properly.

I think we have all taught Alice a thing or two about not only how loving
and caring, but also how resilient kids can be. She really can't believe
how openly I can care and grieve for someone who has done such harm, but
she admires it as a show of strength. She has no doubt that I can get over
all my afflictions, and in pretty quick time too, because she has seen how
easily I can forgive and forget, which she believes is a good quality to
aid in the healing process.

I am somewhat brought back to reality when I hear the loud footsteps of two
running boys come bounding into the room. Callum bursts through the door
all eager and excited, followed closely by Manuel, who is panting heavily
from trying to keep up with my energised little brother. Callum is a little
surprised to see everyone gathered around me on the bed, but it does little
to concern him. He just seems overly happy and hasn't read the mood in the
room at all. I'm wondering whether mum has told him yet.

"Joshy, Joshy, did you hear? Dad's dead, you must be so happy to hear that,
cos we are finally safe!" Callum yells excitedly, answering my question at
the same time.

Hearing that just sends me back into tears again, causing my brother to
wonder what is wrong. I really shouldn't be surprised that my brother is so
happy with the turn of events, nor should be shocked that he is expecting
me to be happy as well. He is too young to remember the good side of dad,
so all Callum remembers is the years of getting yelled at and watching me
get bashed around. He has no recollection of the gentle giant dad was
before he lost his job.

"Callum, Josh isn't as happy as you that your dad is dead, because he
remembers things about your dad that you would have forgotten because you
were really young at the time. You are going to have to give him some
space, and try not to act too happy about it around him." Dan whispers
soothingly and caringly to my little brother. He doesn't want to upset him,
or make him feel bad for saying the wrong things to me, because he really
wasn't to know any different.

"I'm so sorry Josh, but I really didn't know. I feel a bit bad too, but as
Dan said I don't remember him like you." Callum blubbers at the realisation
he has upset me and now feels guilty. The last thing he ever intended to do
is upset me, because I am the person he looks up to and respects the
most. He cares too much about me to properly listen to Dan, so he comes
over to the side of the bed and tries to hug me.

"It's alright Callum, you weren't to know. I am not surprised that you are
happy because all you will remember about dad is what he did to us
both. You are right to be happy and I'm not mad at you for it." I say as
sincerely as possible to my little brother, who hugs me tighter knowing
that I'm not angry with him for being happy.

"Shit, I'm sorry Josh, he ran off before I could tell him that you were
really upset by it." Mum says frantically after finally catching up with
the two youngsters, albeit miles too late. She is a bit perturbed by the
scene, because she was expecting me to be going mad at Callum whilst he is
jumping up and down with joy.

She knows that she should know us better than that, but with the two
completely different responses she got from us after telling us the news,
she really didn't expect such a calm scene in the room, which has greeted
her. She is happy that Callum is showing the respect that I need, but she
still cannot believe how quickly the extremely excited boy has calmed
down. She doesn't bother to wait for a response from me, so she turns back
around and heads out for her biggest hurdle, Sarah.

Manuel is feeling a little left out because of everyone else crowding
around me. With Caleb and Callum hugging me and Dan embracing his boyfriend
from behind, there is no room for him. He is still too scared to hug Pierre
properly just in case he hurts him, even though he has been told numerous
times by my lover that he is alright and is not easily hurt any more. The
boy is too kind-hearted and considerate for his own good at times.

"Manuel, come over here if you want to be with everyone." Pierre says to
the lonely looking boy, and waves him over at the same time to emphasise
that it is alright.

Manuel is still reluctant to go to Pierre, even with Pierre's
encouragement. He really is a strange boy, because he is good as gold when
everyone is healthy, but as soon as someone gets hurt, he becomes all timid
and shy towards them. He is torn as to whether he wants to join us so badly
that he jeopardises Pierre's wellbeing, despite knowing that he is alright
and there is nothing the boy can really do to hurt my boyfriend or whether
he stays where he is.

"Here, if you are that worried you can take my spot, and I will join
Pierre." My little brother says to his sketched out friend. I squeeze the
little fellow tight one last time to show him how much I appreciate what he
is doing for Manuel, before I unwillingly let him go.

"Are you sure, thank you so much! I just don't want to hurt Pierre is all."
Manuel replies, and quickly takes Callum's position beside me.

"Manuel, I know I've told you this plenty of times already, but you won't
hurt me. Not only am I fine again, but you don't have a nasty bone in your
body. I would be surprised to even see you squash a fly." Pierre says, and
gives him a big warm smile.

I see Manuel blush from the compliment, and he sort of lowers his head as
if he is embarrassed or something. I'm not sure that Manuel has ever
received a lot of praise from anyone other than his father, so he doesn't
seem to know quite how to react to it. Dan and Caleb both give the young
boy a huge smile too, because they are impressed with just how tender and
kind the little fellow is. But the more praise and compliments he gets the
more he shies away into his shell.

I embrace Manuel in a hug, before he starts to shy away too much and
disappear on us. I don't think he is comfortable in the slightest with the
accolades he is getting, so I am worried he might freak out too much and
leave the room. He proves to me just how uncomfortable his is by the way he
latches onto me and buries his head so that no one can see him. He doesn't
move from that position for a little while, because he doesn't want to get
any more attention.

All this drama with Manuel has made me forget about the grief I was
experiencing. The warm comforting feelings I'm getting from everyone, and
of course the magical strong sensations Pierre produces in me, quickly
helps me to totally forget about dad and everything else that has
happened. The boys surrounding me are my world now, along with François,
Sarah, Manuel's dad, mum and of course Alice.

It's strange but I think that everyone has become attached to Alice, like
I'm sure she has become emotionally involved with all of us. It's the
devotion she has put into trying to help us, and the hours of work
involved. Yeah, I know we are paying for her to do all this, well, actually
the French government is now, but she still seems to go well beyond the
call of duty, like the way she has helped out Callum even though she never
had to do it. I think she is also going to try to help Manuel, because I
can see her thinking hard after watching his antics.

Another thing I have noticed about Alice is the way she is always just
quietly observing and taking mental notes. She seems to be thinking
constantly about what she likes about all of us that she wants to promote,
and how to fix the problems she has picked up on. She likes a lot about us,
because she can see positive attributes in all of us, and is slowly
noticing less and less problems that need fixing. Manuel seems to have the
most, but that is because she hasn't really had much time to get to know
him yet, and this is the first time she has properly had a chance to sit
back and observe the boy interact with others.

Alice knows there is no point trying to help Manuel out at the moment,
because she realises that at best all she is going to do is embarrass the
poor boy. She knows that he is a little too easy to humiliate, because she
has already witnessed that, so she is going to have to wait until she can
get him alone. Failing that she thinks the boy will handle it alright
providing it's only Callum around.

"Sarah hasn't come in here has she?" Mum asks frantically, as she bursts
into the room, startling everyone. No one answers her properly, all we do
is shake our heads, but she pretty much knew the answer anyway because she
couldn't see Sarah in the room.

"She ran off in anguish after I told her what happened to her father, and
now I can't find her. I'm so worried because I don't know what she is
capable of!" Mum cries to nobody in particular. She then turns around and
sets off to look for my sister again.

Everyone's faces are full of shock and concern, because we all knew that
Sarah was not likely to tolerate the news, but none of us expected her to
run off. It has been so long since she lived with us that we don't know
what she is likely to do in this sort of mood; all we can do is hope for
the best. Maybe she is just hiding somewhere bawling her eyes out, grieving
for the loss of dad. I hope so because she has been so good to us lately
that I don't want anything bad to happen to her.

The news has darkened the mood in the room all over again, as everyone is
lost in their thoughts, worrying about Sarah. The silence is deafening and
eerie. The only noises to be heard other than the humming of the electrical
equipment and air conditioning, is the sound of everybody breathing. It is
not news we expected to hear, so no one knows quite what to do. We all want
to go out there and look for her, but realise that is a bad idea.

For starters Pierre can't leave the room, and I only have a hospital robe
on, so I don't really want to go traipsing around the hospital dressed in
just this. The other issue is I would have no idea where to start, because
I don't know the hospital at all, let alone where we are in the scheme of
things. I won't let the two youngsters go out and search for her, not on
their own, because I will feel too guilty if something were to happen to
them. So that writes them off.

The only other ones who could potentially help are Dan, Caleb or Alice. I'm
not sure how much use Dan and Caleb would be, due to the fact they haven't
seen much of Sarah in all their visits with us, so they don't have a good
picture of what she looks like. Alice on the other hand thinks it's best
that someone stays here and looks after all of us, especially the younger
ones, so she stays put.

I also don't think Alice is particularly concerned about Sarah, because she
looks quite laid back given the circumstances. I would have expected her to
be a bit more on edge considering we are talking about an emotionally
distressed missing person, but she seems perfectly calm and not worried
about it in the slightest. It's almost like she knows that Sarah is fine,
but how? I suppose when I think about it, Alice has this knack of being
able to read us like a book, so she must know more about Sarah than any of
us do.

Sure enough Alice proves to be right when Sarah comes slumping into the
room after about another half an hour. Her eyes are red and puffy from
crying, and the dried up rivers of salty tears can be seen clearly running
down her face, because it has smudged all her make-up along the way. She is
a sorry sight, but still one I am thoroughly glad to see. She pulls up an
empty chair and just flops into it, before burying her face and crying
again.

Callum, who has been hugging Pierre for a while, decides that his sister
needs him more that we do. So he releases my boyfriend from his embrace and
walks around the bed and over to Sarah. He almost throws himself at her as
he goes to hug her, but it is with the most tender loving care he embraces
our sister. He doesn't talk to her, instead he just strokes her back while
he hugs her.

It seems that he has really been paying attention to what everyone had been
doing for me, and is copying it. He doesn't try to calm her, because he has
learned that she needs to grieve, just like I had to earlier. He astonishes
me sometimes with how quickly he learns things, and his ability to put it
into practice. It is another thing which makes me so proud to call him my
brother.

Callum just patiently stays there with Sarah, comforting her as best he
can. Manuel watches his friend, and decides that he should help him, so
gathers up all his courage and timidly walks over to our grieving sister
and hugs her. It really is so funny and cute to watch because I think
Manuel was so scared of getting his head bitten off, that it takes him so
long to finally embrace Sarah in a hug.

Once he has his arms around my sister, and she hasn't reacted negatively to
his touch, I can see Manuel's whole body relax. He is a really sweet and
caring boy, but I think I might have scared him a little too much when I
told him not to be quite so affectionate with people, because he has gone
totally the other way. I think it maybe his fear of rejection more than
anything I have said, which is causing him to be so timid and apprehensive
at the moment.

"Oh thank god you are here Sarah. I was so worried about you, because of
how you ran off." Mum says as she crashes into the room again. She is so
relieved when she sees Sarah in the room this time, that her whole body
almost melts as it relaxes. Before, she was like a stiff plank of wood
while she moved because she was so tense from worry.

"I'm sorry mum; I didn't mean to make you worry. I just needed some alone
time to think, that's all. It was nothing to do with you." Sarah cries. She
feels a little guilty about running off the way she did, but it's too late
to change it now, and it was what she needed at the time.

"It's alright love, I'm just so glad you are safe. Thank you so much you
sweet little boys, because I know Sarah appreciates what you are doing for
her, she really does." Mum says. She gives Callum and Manuel a big smile of
gratitude. She is thrilled that the two youngsters have been so
compassionate to comfort Sarah in her time of need.

Callum and Manuel just give mum a smile, before they continue trying to
comfort Sarah. I can tell that they are doing a good job because Sarah's
mood has improved dramatically since they have been with her. She is still
crying but a lot softer than before, which is evident by the fact that she
could talk. She has also started hugging the boys back to let them know
that she does want them there and is grateful for what they are doing.

The day slowly wears on. Dan and Caleb spend most of it by my bed
supporting me through all this, because I am their friend and the one they
came to see, so they would feel a little guilty if they ditched me to help
my sister. I wouldn't have minded, but I'm glad that they have chosen me to
be with. They have helped me a lot to get over this, and I don't know if I
could have done it so quickly without them.

Pierre of course helps out the most, without doing much at all. That is why
I think we are so perfect for each other, and not just all the stuff the
doctors are intrigued about. It is the way we help each other out in our
times of need, without having to think about it or say anything. It is just
our closeness that works the best, and heals the wounds quickly. Without
Pierre I know I would be grieving for a whole lot longer, well that is if I
grieved over dad at all. I think Pierre is a big reason I have been so
open-minded about dad.

After a while Callum and Manuel decide that it would be best to get Sarah
to bed, so with the help of mum they hoist her out of the seat and escort
her out of the room. I'm sad to see the two youngsters go, but I figure
that they must be dead tired as well, because it has been an emotional day,
even for them.

Alice decides to follow them out, and says her goodbyes as she leaves. She
has a lot to think about, and more issues she wants to help us out
with. Strangely I seem to be falling further back in the queue, because
Manuel and Sarah now seem to have jumped in front of me. I'm not concerned
about it in the slightest, because I'm slowly getting over my problems with
and without her. Pierre, Caleb and Dan have helped a lot with that, so I'm
glad not to be dependent on Alice to fix me.

Caleb and Dan hang around for a while longer, and we just talk about random
stuff. The thing that's bugging me is that this is the perfect time to ask
them something I really want, no, need to know, but I'm too scared to do
it. I'm not worried about offending them, quite the contrary. I know that
they will answer anything I ask, because it is just the sort of people they
are. What I'm scared of is the answer, and I'm not quite sure I'm ready to
hear that yet.

The opportunity passes me by, because Dan and Caleb decide it is time to
leave and go and get something for dinner. I am actually relieved to get
out of asking it, which is a shame because I know it is something I will
have to find out, but for the moment it is a step too far. Dan and Caleb
give both Pierre and me a big hug, before they say goodbye and leave the
room.

With them gone the room is almost completely silent and empty, well, with
the exception of when the nurse delivers our god awful dinners. Pierre's
food is still mainly liquidated, but they are slowly introducing him back
to solids. We eat, well in Pierre's case, drink our meals wishing that we
could get out of here soon, so that we can again enjoy nice meals instead
of this crap they serve up at hospitals.

It is the first time since we have been here that there isn't another soul
in the room other than the two of us. It is actually bliss not having
anyone else here, because we have privacy at last, not that we can do
anything, but it is good not to have to worry about anyone.

Well, at least I thought we couldn't get up to anything, but Pierre proves
me wrong when he slides his hand down the gown cloaking my body, until he
reaches the bottom of it. He then slides his hand up my thigh towards my
crotch. The feelings are just so electric from his soft tender touch, that
they spark my little dickie instantly into life.

I can feel my dick twitch in anticipation, as Pierre slowly and teasingly
slides his hand closer and closer to my now rock hard boyhood. I quiver
uncontrollably, drawing in a sharp breath of air and feel my ball sac
shrivel up, as he lightly brushes against it. I can literally feel the
sparks of electricity arcing across from his delicate hand to my throbbing
boyhood.

I quickly decide that two can play at this game, so I start to slide my
hand down his body. In some ways it is easier for me, compared to how it
was for Pierre, because he has no clothes on. The biggest problem for me is
that I have so many wires to contend with, because he is still hooked up to
all the monitoring equipment.

"No Josh, don't. I would love you to, but you sort of can't anyway, because
I have one of those catheter things there. The main reason I don't want you
to though, is that if the wires become disconnected then someone will come
rushing in here, and we don't want to get caught now do we? I want to do
this for you, so that hopefully you will get a full night's sleep, and
because I want to thank you for all that you have done for me." Pierre says
ever so soft and kindly, because he doesn't want me to feel bad.

It doesn't really help me, because I feel disappointed that I'm not able to
give him pleasure. My dissatisfaction is quickly forgotten about when
Pierre grasps hold of my rigid dick and just gently caresses it. It feels
so wonderful, much better than I remember it feeling, but it has been so
long since we have been able to intimately touch each other that I have
forgotten what it feels like. Well, it feels like it's been forever anyway.

My heart has already started beating hard in my chest from the sheer
pleasure that has started to course through my body. He then releases my
throbbing member, much to my disappointment, before pulling his hand out
from the sheet and up to his mouth. He then spits in his hand and spreads
it around, before he goes back under again.

My breathing stops instantly and it feels like my heart does too, when he
uses his now spit-lubricated fingers to massage my sensitive glans. The
sensations are so overpowering that I can't stay still, and start writhing
around like a fish out of water. I have to gasp for air because the
feelings are far too overwhelming, and it's getting to the point where I
want Pierre to stop.

Without having to do anything to stop him, Pierre ceases his ministrations
on my sensitive glans, and takes hold of my wildly pulsating prick. My
heart is pounding really hard and fast against my chest now, making me
short of breath. I am pouring out sweat from my forehead like water coming
from a faucet. The pleasurable feelings surging through my frame are making
it impossible for me to stay still. My body is flailing around like it has
a mind of its own.

Pierre then starts to slowly stroke my engorged member, pulling my foreskin
back and forth over my now hypersensitive glans. The feelings are so
magical, but also potently intense because of the work he had previously
done on my glans. I can already feel the impending euphoric explosion
rising from the depths. I know that it won't be long now, and so does
Pierre.

He speeds up stroking my rock hard dick, until he is pretty much pounding
on it. It is so much more intense and powerful than it was before, and
those wickedly unreal feelings are starting to bubble up from within
me. The peak is just so close that I can almost feel it, the sensations are
too much for me to keep my eyes open any longer.

Then it happens, and all at once my body tenses causing my butt to lift off
the bed, and my balls contract hard up against the base of my dick. I gasp
loudly for one last breath of air, my heart seems to momentarily stop, and
I clench my eyes and mouth shut as tight as physically possible. Then the
most amazing and euphoric feelings erupt from my prick and rip through my
quivering frame like a shockwave. My dick pulsates madly in my lover's
hands, and I can feel my cum squirt out with tremendous velocity, followed
by another squirt and another, before it just starts to ooze out from my
dick.

I collapse heavily back onto the bed, panting desperately for air. My heart
is still pounding away at a rapid pace from such a mind-blowing
experience. My head is swimming, in a world of its own. I'm in such a happy
place right now, and I don't ever want to leave. I feel even more blissful
and at peace when I feel Pierre's arms wrap around me again, hugging me
lovingly while I come down from such an amazing high.

I just lie there enjoying the loving warmth from Pierre's hug, while I
slowly recover from an amazing orgasm. My heartbeat and breathing rhythm
slowly return to normal as the last ripples of my climax dissipate. My mind
is still on a distant planet, filled with tranquillity and euphoria. It is
such an awesome feeling, almost like my soul is floating above my body and
I can look down on it. I can see my true love for Pierre so clearly in my
mind when I'm in this state, and I never want it to end.

The after-effects of my climax seem to last a lot longer than usual, and
when I can finally open my eyes again, I know why. They are immediately
blinded by the sheer brightness of the sun-filled room. After a while my
eyes adjust and start to focus, but the downside is that as I wake up
properly my mind comes crashing back down to earth. Thankfully there is no
thud when it comes back, because I'm still feeling in a really good mood.

All my worries are like a distant ship on the horizon, and sailing further
away. My head feels light, almost like something big and heavy has been
lifted off it. I'm feeling on top of the world, and there is only one
person to thank for that, and he is lying next to me, staring into my
sparkling blue eyes. I can't help but get lost in his vibrant and lively
deep hazel coloured eyes. My lover seems to be back and fully alive again,
which is the best thing I could have dreamt of waking up to.

His face still looks a bit off colour and puffy, but it is a lot better
than when he first came in. The doctors seem to be happy with his progress,
but are still a little concerned about his partial amnesia. He still can't
remember any of the traumatic events in his life, and the doctors have told
us that there is a chance he never will. In some ways I can see it as a
good thing, because he will no longer be haunted by things which have
happened, but it must be hard not knowing what happened to your parents at
the same time.

For the moment though, things like that are the least of our concerns,
because we are just far too lost in the love we have for each other to
care. We are so lost in each other's eyes that we have no idea whether
anyone else is in the room, and to be frank, I couldn't give a shit. I do
what I have been longing to do for a while, and press my dull red lips to
his glistening reddish brown ones, and kiss him.

The kiss is so magical, and better than any orgasm I have had so far. It is
just pure unadulterated love, nothing more, nothing less. Yes I love the
sex part too, but the hugging and kissing still means more to me than
anything else. It is the closeness and just the way it makes me feel,
because there is nothing more to it than the love we feel for each
other. Nothing else and the feelings are still just as magical and can't be
beat. It's just so hard to explain, but kissing and cuddling is just the
best.

"Hehe, aren't they cute and they remind me of us!" Caleb says cheekily to
his boyfriend, earning him a light playful punch in the arm.

"Cut that out you cheeky little shit, or I won't give you any kisses
today!" Dan replies with mock annoyance.

I hear them both messing around with each other, but at this point in time
I couldn't care less, because I am really enjoying my kiss with Pierre, and
for the moment I don't want it to end. The kiss is just so tender and
loving, and because we aren't tongue wrestling I don't think it's too
obscene or inappropriate in front of our guests. Not that I even realised
that they were there when we started kissing, but knowing they are watching
now doesn't bother me none.

We haven't offended them in the slightest, because watching Pierre and me
kiss has got the better of Caleb, so our two visitors are also engaged in a
tender loving kiss as well. Knowing that they are kissing too puts my mind
at ease knowing that they aren't concerned about us having a private moment
in front of them. It also allows me to continue kissing Pierre even longer
than I had initially planned.

I reluctantly decide that it is probably time to be sociable, especially
since Dan and Caleb have come here just for us, when they should be
enjoying the sights and sounds of Paris and the rest of France. So I
unwilling break off my kiss with Pierre and lie on the bed properly. It is
at this stage when I notice a crusty spot on the sheet, reminding me of
what he did to me last night. Also a good indication that I should get
myself cleaned up, because there is likely to be dried up cum all around my
crotch.

"Sorry guys, I'm just gonna go get cleaned up, I will be back soon." I say
to Dan and Caleb, causing them to break off their kiss in the process.

"Why, did you two have some fun last night?" Caleb asks cheekily.

"Caleb, that's enough!" Dan says to his smartass boyfriend, giving him
another playful punch in the process. I confirm things for them
incidentally by blushing bright red. I don't know why I have got so
embarrassed about it, because I'm pretty sure that they must play around
too, just natural reaction I guess.

"Josh..., um..., it might pay to get the nurses to change the sheets,
because I see there is ahh..., um..., a crusty patch on them." Pierre says,
a little embarrassed, because he knows that this time it was all his
doing. Caleb doesn't help our mood much by cracking up laughing after
Pierre says that.

"Good... good on... good on you two, cos me and Dan had a lot of fun during
our stay at the hospital!" Caleb chuckles, while trying to stop from
laughing long enough to say it, before he starts up all over again. This
time it is Dan who turns bright red and again gives his boyfriend a punch
on the arm.

While Dan is trying to talk a bit of sense into his younger boyfriend, I
decide it's time to get myself cleaned up. I give Pierre a quick peck on
his sweet lips, before climbing out of bed and heading out of the
room. Once in the hallway I locate the closest English speaking nurse, yes
I have already made sure to work out what nurses speak English and which
ones don't.

Once I have located one I head towards her and ask for the stuff I need, as
well as a change of sheets for Pierre's bed. She doesn't ask me why,
because unfortunately for me she is the same one who has changed our sheets
the two times I have had a wet dream. I'm not really too concerned if she
thinks that is what has happened again, because it's better than her
knowing the truth.

She gathers me a new hospital gown and a clean towel quickly and hands them
to me. She gives me a warm smile, and tells me that the sheets will be
changed by the time I have finished in the shower, which pleases me,
because it gets me out of having to help. Yes, the last two times mum has
made me help when they changed the sheet, citing that it was because of me
it had to be done earlier than scheduled. It was rather humiliating, but I
think mum was just trying to help push me to get over the problem I was
having with myself at the time.

Now that I have all my stuff I head off to the closest bathroom, which
happens to be in the next ward along, because those in the emergency
surgery ward normally can't clean themselves. I'm a little surprised that
they are still keeping Pierre in the ward, but I think it is only because
he had to undergo brain surgery, so they want to be absolutely certain that
he is going to be fine before they transfer him.

I arrive at the bathroom, open the door and go in. The bathroom is pretty
flash by hospital standards, because it has been recently renovated. Along
the far wall is a line of individual shower cubicles, with the two at each
end being big enough to fit two people in, just in case the patient
requires assistance taking a shower. They are all painted in a cream
colour, and completely private, so none of them have glass doors or
anything, like you would find in a house bathroom.

I can hear the hissing of water and see steam rising in the air, which
indicates that a couple of the cubicles are in use. It is easy to tell
which ones, because all the cubicles not in use have the doors wide open. I
choose one of the normal sized ones, get in and close and lock the door
behind me, before hanging up my clean robe on a hook and placing my towel
on the bench.

The cubicles are divided into two rooms. The room you enter into is a
changing room, with a wooden bench, and some hooks for hanging your clothes
on. The shower in the other room is enclosed by a light blue waterproof
curtain, which you pull across to stop water from getting into the changing
room. The shower has just a basic mixer, but one of those shower-heads that
can be hand-held to allow easier rinsing of your body. The base of the
shower is aluminium, which is still sparkly clean, due to a good cleaning
regime.

I set the shower running, and adjust the temperature to my liking, before I
pull the robe up and over my head and dumping it on the floor. This is the
only good thing about these horrible gowns, they are so easy to take off
and put back on. Now undressed, I hop into the steaming hot shower and
close the curtain. I have set the shower as hot as I can take it, because I
feel like I need the added stress relief at the moment. Being stuck in
hospital is stressful enough, but constantly worrying about your boyfriend
makes things even worse.

It feels so magical and relaxing having the cascading torrent of hot water
wash over me. What makes it even better is being totally naked again in the
shower. The water flowing over my pecker feels so amazing compared to when
it was clothed in the briefs I was wearing. I never realised just how good
it feels until now, and I just stand there for a good ten minutes enjoying
the feelings.

Having decided that I have been standing here long enough, I grab the soap
out of the soap holder and start to lather up my chest and arms. The soap
is the horrid smelling hospital grade soap, but still better than nothing,
and at least it makes me feel clean. With my trunk cleaned, I start to
lather up my legs, from the bottom up towards my dickie. I don't know why
but I thought I would clean my dickie last. It's probably because I haven't
really cleaned it properly in a while, so I want to take my time doing it.

It is when I get to my precious appendage that I notice that my balls seem
to be hanging a lot lower than they used to even when I had a hot shower
they have never hung this low before. It's yet another sign that I have
entered the early stages of puberty. Having noticed that, I decide to do a
thorough check of my pubic mound to see whether I have started to grow any
pubes yet.

Unsurprisingly I am still bald as a baby down there, with not even the
slightest trace of a hair to be seen. The translucent hairs on my legs have
started to get a bit more blonde in colour and look a bit thicker too, but
otherwise I am still just as hairless as I have ever been. I'm not
displeased about it in the slightest, because to be honest I'm not ready to
grow up just yet. I have only just rediscovered how fun being a kid is
again, and I don't want to lose that too soon.

I take my time soaping up my dickie, pulling back the foreskin in order to
polish my cherry red glans, and just ensuring every inch of my pride and
joy gets cleaned properly. By the time I have finished cleaning my dickie,
it is standing at full attention awaiting any further special attention,
which I ignore and proceed to clean my now sagging sac. It does feel a lot
softer now that it sags so much, compared to when it was shrivelled and
hugging the base of my dick, and still being hairless it is silky smooth
once lathered up.

Now that I have finished cleaning my boyhood, I try to clean my back and
bum as well as I can. Without one of those back scrubbers, or anyone else
to give me a hand, it is a lot harder to properly clean my back. I am still
having problems cleaning my bum properly, because without something between
my hand and my boy hole, I just can't touch anywhere directly around it. I
finish up and put the soap back in the holder, before turning off the
water, pulling back the curtain and heading back into the little changing
room.

My skin is glistening clean, but looks very pink due to how hot I had the
water. I pick up the towel and unravel it so that I can dry myself off. The
towel is pretty worn and coarse, so feels really rough against my skin
while I dry myself, which just makes my skin pinker still. After I have
thoroughly dried myself off, I grab the clean gown off the hook and pull it
on. I pull down on the bottom of it to ensure it covers everything
properly, before unlocking the door and leaving the cubicle.

I toss the dirty clothes into the laundry hamper beside the door to the
bathroom, and then leave. I make my way relatively quickly down the
corridor back to Pierre's room. I can tell that I must have been in there
for quite some time, because everyone's faces suddenly look extremely
relieved when I walk into the room. I had been gone for that long that they
were really starting to worry about me, but without any adult around they
couldn't come looking for me.

I apologise to them for causing them to worry while I climb back into bed
with Pierre, who latches onto me instantly. He hugs me really tightly,
letting me know just how worried he was about the length of time I had been
gone. It turns out that I had been gone for a good forty minutes, which
explains why they had become so worried.

I give them my apologies again, whist trying to explain why I had such a
long shower. It was a little awkward, because I have to tell them rather
personal stuff, but at least they all understand. They know what I have
been through which helps, and understand that I still have a bit left to
accomplish before I am totally over it. I'm confident now that I am over
it, but I do see their point when they say I will have to get jerk myself
off, in order to make sure that I am over it.

The rest of the morning drags on, and none of the adults even show their
faces. I'm starting to get a bit concerned that no-one has come to check on
us, especially since I know that Callum and Manuel will be chomping at the
bit to come see us. Me, Pierre, Dan and Caleb just talk randomly about
stuff while we wait for anyone to show up. It would be nice to even see a
doctor, because even they haven't been in so far today.

The only person we have seen was at breakfast time. That was the nurse who
is going around delivering food to all the patients in the ward. I am glad
when it arrives because I am absolutely starved, and breakfast is the only
meal they serve here which tastes half decent. The only reason for that is
that it is cereal with milk and fruit, which they surely couldn't get
wrong.

Just as I say that no-one has come in to see us, a doctor does come in and
goes through the drill we have seen plenty of times before. He gets a
printout from each of the monitors and studies them closely. This time
however, he gives us a smile and then tells us something that we have been
waiting to hear. Pierre is going to be transferred over to the children's
ward later this afternoon, so they can start with his physio and
rehabilitation program.

With that the doctor starts to disconnect Pierre from all the electrodes,
and turns the monitors off in preparation for the move. We have to wait
until later in the day, because there won't be a room free for him until
then. We all have a mini celebration though, because it means that the
doctors are no longer concerned about any potential brain damage or
anything. It is such great news that I plant a tender loving kiss on his
gorgeous lips right in front of the doctor; thankfully he doesn't seem to
care.

Moments after the doctor leaves we finally see some of the others. Mum,
Sarah and Callum all enter the room, before mum asks Dan and Caleb very
politely, if they could please leave the room. I am wondering what is going
on when mum does this, because they have been here through everything else,
why not with whatever it is that mum wants now? Once the two boys have left
the room I quickly get the answer to that question, when mum hands me a
folded up fax.

She tells me that because it was addressed to me, no one has read it yet,
and the piece of tape holding it closed proves that, because the
receptionist who got the fax put it on. I quickly open the fax expecting to
get all the answers about dad, but I am left disappointed and confused all
over again, because it doesn't really answer a thing.


************

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