Date: Sun, 15 Dec 2013 11:31:26 +1300
From: bob charles <pennywise3636@gmail.com>
Subject: Washed Up (Gay / Young friends) chapter 24

Washed Up.

Disclaimer:

Warning: this story contains sexual content, contact between young boys,
and other themes that may offend. If the subject matter offends you, is not
to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find
something else to read. In the following story all names and events are
completely fictional.  Although I may mention a specific location, place,
or person any resemblance to said people, location, or places is completely
unintentional.

Chapter 24:

We finish up in the shower in a short time and Pierre gets out first. I
shut off the shower, then join him and we both dry off, and start to get
dressed. We have both gone for more formal clothing today, having felt like
we were underdressed while we have been here. We have both opted for plain
black knee length shorts, while I have gone for a white collared dress
shirt which has blue stripes running down it. Pierre has gone for a smart
looking dark blue polo shirt.

He looks smart with the way he is dressed, and I think we both look more
like we should given we are in the house of rich people. Happy with how we
look and are dressed; we leave the bathroom so that we can put on some
shoes and socks. I'm a little surprised upon entering the bedroom to notice
the absence of Callum and Manuel, but we get our answer pretty quickly
where they have gone.

"It's about time you two finished in the shower, hurry up and grab a towel
and meet us downstairs. We have a boat ride to go on remember!" Manuel's
grandpa says enthusiastically. The surprising thing is that he doesn't seem
to care about the length of our shower in the slightest, but I'm not going
to complain just as long as he doesn't know what we were up to.

************

The worst part about having seen Manuel's granddad is now we both feel like
we are over-dressed, because all the man had on was a white singlet, and
shortish tan coloured shorts. We know it is too late to change our clothes
now, so we are going to have to put up with it. I am hoping that we aren't
going to be doing anything where I will regret my choice of clothes,
because I have no idea what sort of boating we are going to be doing today.

The good thing is we are yet to put on our shoes and socks, so we ditch
that idea in favour of jandals because we figure they are going to be more
comfortable to wear while out on a boat. We locate them swiftly and slip
our feet into them, before heading downstairs and to the lounge where we
expect everyone else to be.

We enter the lounge and see most of the adults in there, but not the one
who we are looking for. We hear a yell coming from the front door, so turn
to look and see Manuel's granddad and the two boys waiting there for
us. Pierre turns and briskly walks over to them, but I don't follow, at
least not straight away.

"Um, is there any chance of either François or Sarah coming with us,
because I think we may need someone else?" I ask, whilst looking directly
at mum, hoping she understands the reason for the request.

"Yes, sure, um... François, do you want to go with them, because I could
do with Sarah here?" mum replies, ensuring François is willing to come
along with us. She needn't have bothered, because I think he was hoping to
get an excuse to get out of having a discussion with the others, because he
feels it doesn't have anything to do with him.

"Yeah, I'm happy to go along with them," he says, trying to contain his
excitement, while he gets out of his seat and walks rapidly towards the
front door, taking my hand along the way.

"Thank you very much for bailing me out of that, but I know why you did. If
you are right then I know you will freak Manuel's grandpa out, so you need
someone to be there for support, am I right?" he whispers, while we are
heading towards the others.

I don't reply because there is no need to, all I do is nod my head while we
leave through the door and join the rest. Callum and Manuel are bouncing
around like loons, because they are eager to get out on the boat and enjoy
the water, while Manuel's grandpa and Pierre are trying to calm them down
enough so he can explain things to them. Once François and I make it
outside the boys do calm down, because they know that François will find
a way to make them otherwise.

I have to try hard not to crack up laughing when I see how quick they are
to settle down, because it shows how much François is able to control
them. I know they aren't scared of him, but he has managed to get them to
show him respect in how they act around him, which answers the question
which has been bugging me for a while - how he can share a room with them
for so long. Manuel's grandpa and Pierre are as equally amazed at the
respect the boys show François as I am.

"Ok, let me explain a little bit about what we are going to be doing
today. I am a sailing instructor, so I decided to give you all a sailing
lesson, because it was a good excuse to get out of the house and away from
any serious conversation," he says with a chuckle.

"I can help with that, because I used to do a lot of sailing," Pierre
replies, feeling happy about the man's idea, because he thoroughly loves
sailing and it is his chance to share an experience with me, especially
since I have shown him about the joys of surfing. Since that day he has
wanted to be able to share his passion with me, but has never had the
opportunity until now.

"That is great, it will be handy to have an extra pair of hands. I have not
taught a group so young before, so I am going to need your help," he says,
showing some obvious relief at the same time, because he was feeling a bit
daunted with the task at hand. He is used to teaching adults, or older
teens, say eighteen or nineteen, but not young kids.

The way Callum and Manuel had been acting before had also made the man
wonder whether he was going to have his hands full, but knowing that Pierre
knows what he is doing puts him at ease. François has also helped with
that, because he knows the two youngest boys will behave themselves and
listen, because the last thing he wants is for one of them to get hurt.

"Pierre and Josh, I will pair you together and because of Pierre's
experience I will put you on the mainsail. Callum and François I will
get you on the jib, and Manuel I will show you how to steer the boat. Don't
worry, you will all get your turns on all the different parts, but this is
how I want to start things," he says.

He then takes us into the garage, where he has all his teaching aids for
preparing his classes before he takes them out on the water. We have a long
and thorough briefing about all the different things to know, and be
mindful of, to do with sailing. He explains all the different terms and
parts of the boat, along with what our jobs are going to entail. I quickly
discover why he wants Pierre and me on the mainsail. It is because we are
in the most prone position on the boat in terms of safety, and will have to
keep a constant eye out for what the boom is doing, so we don't get hit on
the head or anything like that.

I am glad to have Pierre with me after hearing this, because I know he
won't let me down and will be a great person to learn from. Manuel's
grandpa would be equally as good, but I know Pierre will do everything he
can to ensure I stay safe, and more importantly, have fun. I can feel his
passion for the sport, so I know he is as enthusiastic about it as I am
with surfing. I can feel my own excitement growing, because it seems to be
flowing from Pierre into me, almost like he is infecting me with his
sailing bug. I am at the stage where I can't wait to get out to the boat
and onto the water.

Once the briefing is over, Manuel's grandpa leads us through a door at the
back of the garage to a steep pathway carved into the side of the cliff. We
negotiate our way along the path, which isn't as bad as it first looked,
because they have built in nice sized steps to make the descent safe and
easy. It is a long but beautiful path, which slowly lowers us towards the
sea. The good thing is the bushes and trees growing perilously on the side
of the cliff manage to grow high enough to provide us with shelter from the
sweltering Mediterranean sun.

At the bottom is a long wooden pontoon stretching out from the cliff face
into the sea. It has wooden posts jutting up from the deck every five or so
metres with a rope connecting all of them, acting as a handrail and also to
stop people from falling off the side. At the end of the pontoon a decent
sized sloop sailboat is moored to it. Manuel's grandpa explained to us that
we would be using a sloop and also explained that it is a sailboat which
only has one mast, with the jib sail rigged up at the front of it, and the
mainsail at the back.

The pontoon bobs up and down while we walk along it. It is an unusual
feeling for me, because I'm not used to it; the last time I walked along
that type of dock was at Paihia, but that was a lot more solidly built and
didn't move as much. We get to the end and climb onto the sailboat one by
one. We are each shown what our duties are by Manuel's grandpa, while he
also explains all the different parts of the boat and their
functions. While he is doing this he is also making a visual inspection of
all the equipment to ensure it is all in working order.

Once he is satisfied that we all know how everything operates, he starts up
the outboard motor and gets Pierre to untie the mooring ropes. The motor
answers the question I had in my mind, which was how we were going to get
out to sea, given there is not even the slightest breath of wind due to the
cliffs blocking it. The water is so calm here that it looks like glass, and
the scenery around us reflects off the crystal clear water almost like
looking into a mirror.

Pierre expertly unties the mooring ropes, and then jumps back on the boat
before Manuel's grandpa pulls on the throttle, making the sailboat slowly
pull away from the pontoon. It is smooth sailing while we slowly motor our
way out into the open sea in search of some wind. Up on the top of the mast
there is a windex, or wind direction indicator, and we are all watching it
eagerly, wishing it to start showing some signs of at least a breeze.

We motor about five nautical miles into the Mediterranean Sea before we
find enough wind to be able to set sail. Manuel's grandpa then lines the
boat up with the wind, so that the bow is pointing directly into the wind,
because he says it makes it easier to set sail. He uses the motor to keep
us pointing the right direction, while he gives us the instructions for
what we are going to have to do. He is more giving the instructions to
François and Callum, because Pierre is telling me what to do.

Our first step is to shackle the bottom of the sails to the boom. Pierre
and I get the mainsail shackled in no time, while François and Callum
take a little longer. Them taking a little longer than us isn't important
anyway, because Pierre and I have to hoist the mainsail first. We finish
hooking it up, before finally hoisting it all the way to the halyard which
stops it. The sail is luffing (flapping about like crazy), but Pierre isn't
worried, he just shows me the last couple of steps before indicating to
Manuel's grandpa that we are ready.

It is now François and Callum's turn and they know it, but under clear
precise instruction they hoist the jib sail flawlessly and also trim their
sail for the wind. Once that has been done it is Pierre's and my turn
again. This time we have to set the sail trim for the wind, which Pierre
does expertly while he explains carefully what he is doing, making sure
that I understand everything while he does it. Once he has completed this
our job is done and we are ready to sail.

To stop the mainsail luffing, Manuel is told by his grandpa to bear off
(steer away from the wind), and with that we are sailing. Every so often
Manuel is told to tack or jibe, which is when I need to be aware of the
boom while it swings across. I quickly get used to keeping an eye on the
boom, whilst trying to pay attention to everything else that is going
on. Once I have got used to this sailing thing I start to understand why
Pierre loves it so much, because it is peaceful and serene which are the
same reasons I love surfing.

It is slow, smooth sailing, due to the lack of wind making the sea almost
dead flat and hardly any chop to speak of. It isn't quite perfect sailing
conditions because we would preferably have more wind, given the choice,
but it is still a pleasant way to spend the day. It doesn't take long
before the heat from the sun starts to cook us, so we all remove our shirts
in an effort to cool ourselves down, but it doesn't have the desired
effect. The heat does little to curb our enjoyment, which can be plainly
seen on our faces, especially when it is our turn on the tiller to control
the boat.

We slowly sail along the coast away from Marseille, but unlike what Pierre
had expected we aren't heading towards the Côte-d'Azur, instead we are
heading the other way. It is a unique experience viewing the land from the
sea, and sailing along the coastline we get to see a lot more of it than
I'm used to with surfing. It is a beautiful way to travel and see the
world, so I can now see why Pierre's dad sold up everything in order to do
this.

The thought makes me remember the reason I asked for François to come
along with us, and I am quite surprised that Pierre hasn't started to
recall the yachting accident which claimed his father. I hope he does for
his sake, but I also want to get the flashback over and done with, because
I know I will go through the whole horrible saga along with him. I am
scared about the thought because it could ruin my enjoyment of the
experience, but for now nothing is happening, so I try to let my mind rest.

After a long time of sailing, Manuel's grandpa navigates his way into a
secluded little bay, and drops anchor. While he is anchoring the boat,
Pierre shows us how to lower the sails so that they are easy to hoist again
when we need to leave. Once safely anchored the man pulls out a bag of
sandwiches and hands us each one along with a bottle of orange juice. No
surprises in guessing that they didn't last very long, because we are all
feeling famished from learning how to sail.

The bay is beautiful; it has gorgeous orange clay cliffs seemingly jutting
straight out of the water. The top of the cliffs is full of stunning
Mediterranean bush and scrub, along with the occasional tree standing tall
and proud amongst the smaller greenery. At the base of the cliffs seems to
be a little pebbly beach, which is sort of a greyish yellow colour, but
looks like an inviting place to lie and sunbathe naked without worrying
about anyone intruding on you.

The thought intrigues me as I think back to Pierre telling us that his
parents used to be nudists, because I would love to experience the freedom
of being able to roam around in the buff. Yeah, yeah, I know we did that
the other day while at the Pont du Gard, but that was totally
unintentional, because we hadn't planned on Manuel throwing our togs onto
the river bank. It did feel awesome though, and I would love to be able to
experience it properly.

"Ok, we will be anchored here for the next couple of hours, so you are free
to do what you like. This bay is secluded and safe, with no need to worry
about anyone else coming here, so you have the place to yourselves. Since I
presume you will want to swim I will set up the diving board for you,"
Manuel's grandpa says, before going to find the diving board he has and
setting it up.

I love the sound of the idea of being able to do what we like, but I wish
the boat was anchored further away from the beach, so I could do some nude
sunbathing. It is too close to risk it because I don't want Manuel's
grandpa to think we are rude or anything. I will make the most of the area
to have a good swim and sunbathe to try to get my tan back, because my skin
is still very pale. I think Pierre has the same idea as I do, because his
skin is almost as pale as mine and I know he desperately wants to get his
tan back, not that I'm worried about it.

Callum and Manuel have other plans. They have no hesitation about getting
nude, which again shows how much confidence Manuel has given my little
brother. The reason they don't have any qualms about stripping off is, as I
notice for the first time, because they have dressed even more formally
than Pierre and I have. They both have worn pants, with Callum in light
blue cotton jeans and Manuel wearing black corduroy trousers, so they don't
have much option if they want to swim.

Well, that isn't entirely true, because they could have swum in their
undies, but like Pierre and me, neither of them bothered to wear any. So
they strip off their pants, which leaves them in their birthday suits,
before they go over to the diving board Manuel's grandpa has set up, and
jump off into the glistening azure waters of the Mediterranean.

I can't get over how audacious the boys are as they walk straight past
Manuel's grandpa, naturally as anything, before taking turns and diving
into the water. Seeing how unconcerned the man is with the youngsters being
naked, makes me wonder whether this is why he specifically chose the
area. I reconsider my options, trying to decide if I'm game enough to
follow the younger boys' example or whether I still should show some
respect towards the man. Pierre makes my mind up for me, because in the
time I had spent trying to make up my mind, he had already stripped, and
has now begun to yank my shorts down so that I'm wearing the same as
everyone else.

I can feel my groin starting to stir from the sensation of having my shorts
pulled down while I'm standing in front of the adults. That is the last
thing I want is to spring a stiffie in front of Manuel's grandpa. I don't
mind being seen naked but being seen aroused on top of that would be too
much for me to handle. I try not to think too much more about it, and step
out of my shorts once Pierre has them down at my ankles, then hurriedly
make my way to the diving board and jump into the water.

I do the best bomb I am able to, trying to scatter as much water as I can
over the younger boys, who aren't too far away from where I land. I make
contact with the water with what seems to me like a tremendous splash,
before submerging what feels like metres under the surface. The water is
pleasantly warm which catches me a little off guard, because I hadn't
expected it to be this warm given it is only early summer. I try to open my
eyes whilst under the water, but it is a little too murky to see and the
salt water stings my eyes, forcing me to close them again, so I decide to
surface, given underwater swimming is out of the question.

I am immediately greeted once I resurface, by water getting splashed at me
from all directions, with the largest volume coming from Pierre who has
leapt into the sea not too far from me. Callum and Manuel have also decided
to pay me back for splashing them, by throwing water at me as I surface and
try to get my bearings, but after Pierre's bomb they have now turned their
attention to getting him back, well, once he has surfaced that is.

I help them out with getting my boyfriend back, so the moment his head
breaks the surface, he gets bombarded by water from all directions. We soon
tire of splashing him, mainly due to the fact that he is already wet, so
the activity is pretty much pointless. I indicate to Pierre once he has
wiped the water from his eyes so he can see again, that I want go into the
beach and then swim off, hoping he is following.

He does, but Callum and Manuel also decide to follow us, which I didn't
want so much. I won't stop them from coming along with us, because I love
them too much for that, but I had been hoping to spend some alone time with
Pierre on the beach, sunbathing and enjoying each other's company. The
other two want to be with us because they feel like they haven't seen
enough of us lately, due to Pierre and I being in hospital for so long, so
any chance they get with us they are going to make the most of.

It is quite a long swim into the beach, because it is further away than it
looked from the boat, so by the time we make it to shore we are all pretty
tired. My lack of fitness is rearing its ugly head once more and I'm rueing
the amount of time we spent in the hospital again. I should be able to swim
this sort of distance a piece of cake, but from being stuck in a bed for so
long I haven't been able to keep up with any proper fitness regime. Not
that I've ever had one, but through surfing, fishing, rowing our dinghy
while we were at Taupo Bay and of course mucking around with Callum, I used
to keep my fitness levels pretty high.

Now I am struggling to swim a similar distance to that which I normally
have to paddle on a surf board to get out the back of the breakers, and the
worst part is that the water here is perfectly calm and smooth, so should
make swimming easier than battling against broken waves. I'm not the only
one showing fatigue from the swim and lack of fitness, because all the
others look the same way too, which surprises me, because I thought
Callum's fitness levels would have still been pretty good, but then again
we haven't done much rigorous exercise in a long time.

The more I think about it the more I realise just how long it has been
since we did any real exercise. We haven't done much in that regard the
whole time we have been in France, and due to the depression Callum and I
were in while we lived in New Plymouth, we didn't get any exercise there
either. Well, if you discount the little fight I had, but that wasn't
exercise because it was only one punch. So the last time we would have done
anything would have been while we were still at Taupo Bay, which seems like
an eternity ago.

We drag ourselves onto the pebbly beach, gasping and panting for breath
after the exertion from the swim. Luckily we are here for a couple of
hours, so we have plenty of time to recuperate for the swim back. In the
meantime I lie down on the beach exhausted, and enjoy the sun beating down
on me. Pierre lies beside me, and we both wrap an arm around each other,
without really thinking about it, and enjoy the comfort the other brings,
at the same time as soaking up as much UV as we can.

Callum and Manuel, now realising the reason we wanted to swim to the beach,
are a little disappointed because they were hoping we would want to play or
explore or something, not sunbathe, because despite being tired from the
swim they still have a lot of pent up energy. The two boys sit for a little
while to recover from the swim, whilst hoping Pierre and I are doing the
same thing, but once they realise we have no intention of moving for a
while, they get up and go to explore.

I feel a bit guilty for not wanting to spend time with the younger two
boys, especially after everything we have put them through, and I know
Pierre is feeling the same way, so we reluctantly sit up and look around
for them. They have gone down to the far end of the beach by the time we
spot them. Now we know where they are, we struggle to our feet and wander
in their direction. The beach is longer than it looks and it takes a while
to make it to where the boys had been, but they have disappeared by the
time we make it.

I had seen them heading into the scrub at the bottom of the cliff, but
after that I have no idea. Pierre and I scour the area, trying to find the
spot that they disappeared into the scrub from, but it is too dense to have
gone into without breaking any branches, and there are no broken branches
anywhere to be seen. We backtrack along the beach, searching the scrub for
a place that the boys could have entered through. It takes a little while
but eventually we find a little clearing, easily big enough for the two
smaller boys to go through, but Pierre and I are going to risk getting
scratched up from the branches.

We edge our way into the clearing, trying hard not to get scratched, which
wouldn't have been so bad if we had clothes on, but being naked we have a
lot of vulnerable skin exposed. Once we are past the initial scrub, the
clearing becomes a lot bigger and there seems to be a pathway, but it goes
in both directions so god only knows which way the boys have gone. I decide
to head in the direction that leads towards the end of the beach first,
because logic tells me that it is going to be the shortest part of the
path, and after about fifty or so metres the path peters out in front of a
cave.

The cave entrance isn't very big, but it seems to go deep into the cliff
face. It is the right sort of area for those two rascals to have decided to
explore, but it has me a bit worried because we don't have a light of any
kind, so if something happens we are going to have to negotiate our way
through it in the dark. I think about yelling in through the entrance, but
am scared off from remembering all those movies which show tons of bats
escaping from a cave like this. It is stupid because I know nothing will
happen if I yell into it, but the thought still puts me off.

I am half tempted to leave the cave for last and head back up the track to
see if Callum and Manuel are there, but my gut tells me that this is the
sort of place those two couldn't pass up to explore. It is hard enough for
me not to want to explore it as well. I love exploring things like this,
but what is bugging me is I'm on a search mission and this is the sort of
place I don't want to be searching for anyone. It is the sort of place I
would explore on my own, but I would never intentionally take anyone else
in there with me, because it isn't a safe place to be, and I know that.

"Pierre, you wait here and I'll go..." I start to say.

"Like hell you will, I'm coming with you whether you like it or..." Pierre
starts to retort, after having interrupted me.

"No, I want you out here, where it is safe. I don't want you to get hurt
again. I'm going in there on my own, and that's final," I tell him, also
stopping him short in what he was saying. I know I'm not going to win, but
I am pig headed and I don't want to see him follow me or get hurt. Callum
is my brother so I feel he is my responsibility.

"I will not let you go in there alone. After all they are as much my
brothers as they are yours, so I am going to..." he tells me flatly,
reminding me that he has grown as attached to the little buggers as I have.

"Hey cool... you guys found a cave!" the high pitched voice of Callum says
excitedly behind us, causing both of us to jump a mile.

"Wow, can we explore, can we, can we, can we?" Manuel asks, whilst bouncing
around, unable to contain his excitement.

"No... um... No! Where the hell did you come from?" I ask, a little
irritated at them.

"Awww, but why?" Manuel says, unable to contain his disappointment, but
totally ignoring the question I asked them.

"Um... we went the other way up the path. I think it goes all the way to
the top of the cliff, but we only followed it part way because it was
getting too long," Callum replies a little dejectedly, because he knows he
had me worried shitless, which he never intended to do. There is also an
element of disappointment in his voice since he knows they won't be allowed
to explore the cave Pierre and I had discovered.

"You sure you don't want to explore the cave?" Manuel asks pleadingly, with
a sad puppy dog look on his face. It looks so pathetic, but adorable and
almost impossible to resist.

"No... um... oh fuck... Pierre and I will go and take a look to see if it
is a good idea or not," I tell them, caving into Manuel. I was actually
looking forward to going in and having a look, but since there was no
longer a need to do so, I wrote the idea off. Now with Manuel's begging, it
gives me a chance, at least, to go do some exploring and if I decide it is
safe I will let the youngsters go in.

"Cool, cool, cool, so hope we can go in too!" Callum says, bouncing around
all over again. Manuel is just as excited, if not a little bit more than
Callum is, and I can tell that it is going to be very hard to tell them it
is too dangerous to go into, if that is the case.

Knowing I have no choice but to go in, not that it bothers me, I head back
to the entrance to the cave. I have to get down on my knees and crawl in
through the opening, because it is too small for me to walk in, so I'm
going to have to be careful not to scuff my legs up. The ground is hard and
uncomfortable to crawl over and the light disappears quickly, once I have
entered, but I continue to inch along. Once fully enclosed by the walls of
the cave, I think I can vaguely make out a glow a little off to the side of
me, so I continue to crawl along in that direction.

The closer I get the brighter the glow gets, but it is awkward and slow due
to having to clamber over numerous wet slippery rocks along the
way. Somehow I haven't cut myself up, but I am regretting being in the buff
while doing this. I have too much precious cargo hanging about, which I
could easily damage if I'm not careful. At least clothes offer a bit of
protection to areas like that. The other thing I am noticing is how cold it
is in here, and I can feel goose bumps forming all over my body, which also
gives the occasional involuntary shudder.

It is very dark, but not totally silent as I had been expecting. You can
hear water running down the wall, or dripping from the roof, but the
biggest noise I can hear is in the form of little waves breaking against
the rocks. This indicates that the cave must open up somewhere along the
coast, otherwise I shouldn't be able to hear the waves breaking, well that
is my way of thinking.

It feels cool to be exploring the unknown, which gets me wondering about
how many other people know about this cave, let alone how many of those
have actually explored it. I'm hoping we are the first, so we can call
ourselves true pioneers, exploring this unknown subterranean land before
anyone else, but I doubt we would be the first. I still love the way it
allows my imagination to run free as I wonder how spectacular this place
would look if we had some form of lighting. The bats then return to my
head, which sort of makes me glad we can't see what else is in here.

Aside from hearing the occasional grunt from Pierre, I almost forget he is
with me. I am hoping he is following me because we haven't communicated
much, aside from me telling him to head towards the glow. It is now I
realise that we should have had some rope or something to tie us together
to ensure we don't get separated, but it is too late to do anything about
that now. I make a mental note that if we are to bring the other two in
here; it is going to be on the basis we can find something to tie us all
together. I can't have either of them getting lost, because it would
destroy me if something bad happened to either of them.

The glow gets brighter and brighter, the closer to it I get, then suddenly
the world seems to open up right in front of my eyes, and I find myself in
a huge cavern with the sea water lapping away at the rocks. The tide must
be in and has flooded the floor of the cavern, which means we are limited
to wandering around the edge, against the wall, or going for a swim in
order to explore the area. For the moment I don't bother to explore, but I
get to my feet because my knees are so sore I don't want to be on them any
longer.

There is ample room for standing now because the roof rises sharply, but I
still have to be aware of the occasional low hanging rock, or the
stalactites hanging from the roof of the cavern. The constant beating the
stalactites receive from waves has hindered the amount of growth they have
been able to achieve, which means most of them only hang from the roof a
metre or so. There aren't those huge ones almost reaching the floor, like
you see in other caves around the world, but the sight is just as
spectacular anyway. The entrance is huge and gives and awesome view out
over the Mediterranean sea, and the light pours in which makes it warmer in
here than it had been in the other part of the cave.

Pierre makes it a short time after me, and is as dazzled by the sight as I
am. It is truly spectacular and like nothing I have ever seen before, but
the best part was the experience and feeling like we were pioneer explorers
discovering the inner beauties of the cave for the first time. Nothing
beats that feeling, even though we realise others must have been here
before us, but a kid's imagination can't be beaten at times. That is why I
liked it so much, because it is again a chance I have had to rekindle my
lost childhood.

We stand there admiring the awesome scenery for a few minutes, before we
decide we had better go back, because the boys will be getting antsy
waiting for us by now. I don't want them to do something stupid, like
follow us in here, because I have a feeling it would be pretty easy to get
lost due to how dark the tunnel is, which sort of implies that it might
continue on in a different direction and that is why I'm sort of dreading
the return crawl. Callum is usually pretty level-headed which is why I'm
not so worried about him, but I'm unsure about Manuel. He seems to be a
happy go lucky sort of character at times, which has me a little on edge
about whether he might convince Callum to follow us in here.

I sigh loudly thinking about that, because I realise we had better go back
now and not keep them waiting too long. Reluctantly I head back to the
portal we had used to get here and get back on my knees so I can crawl
again. My knees scream out in pain and protest as I lower myself down on
them, but I try to block it all out. I am going to have to bear the pain
for a little while longer, so I start to crawl my way back. There is no
thought about swimming back as I'm still feeling shattered after the swim
from the boat. The other problem with that idea is we aren't entirely sure
where this cave entrance is, for all we know it could be in a totally
different bay.

It is a little unnerving how quickly the light fades into oblivion, and I
start to get worried when I can't see any glow indicating the entrance we
had come in through. It takes a little while for my eyes to readjust to the
almost pitch black, but once they have I can finally see the vague distant
glow of the opening. I feel Pierre try and hold my leg, because he wants us
to stay connected for the trip back for safety reasons, but it becomes too
difficult and awkward to try to hold onto me while crawling along, so he
lets go.

The return trip doesn't seem to take as long, but we know more about what
to expect in there which makes life a lot easier. We still move at a
snail's pace, because we don't want to meet an unexpected surprise and get
hurt. Nothing untoward comes up and we make it through the worst part with
no bumps or bruises, other than that on our knees because they aren't used
to this sort of punishment. We both squint in agony when we go out of the
opening and back into the bright sunny outdoors world, because it is far
too bright for our eyes, which seem to take forever to readjust.

My worst fears are realised once my eyes have readjusted to the light,
because Callum and Manuel are nowhere to be seen. I look around everywhere
hoping they have wandered off for some reason while they have been waiting,
but I can't see any sign of them. I am on the verge of panic, thinking they
have gone into the cave and we had somehow missed them. Pierre's expression
is like mine, because he too is worried that the boys have done the stupid
thing and tried to follow us.

"Stop right there and don't move!" a voice says loudly, at the same time as
I feel something sharp getting pressed against my back. I do as I'm told
and freeze instantly, wondering what the hell I have managed to get myself
into this time. Pierre is frozen beside me, so I try to take a sneak peek
out of my peripheral vision to see if I can make out what is happening.

The only thing I can see is a stick getting jabbed into his back. The odd
thing about the stick is it looks to be very crudely made, because it still
has little branches coming off it with leaves attached. All the spears I
have seen of this fashion are usually carved relatively smoothly; at least
they don't still have little branches jutting out from them, so I instantly
start to smell a rat.

I decide to call their bluff, and suddenly step forward and twist my body
around. I almost crack up laughing with what I see, because I am greeted by
Callum, who is wearing a makeshift grass skirt as well as a grass halo type
thing on his head. He has found some mud and tried to colour his face to
look intimidating and he is holding a long branch like it is a
spear. Manuel has a similar sort of outfit on, because the boys had decided
to dress up and play around like tribesmen.

I don't know how they managed to make up those skirts in such a short
amount of time, but they did a really good job, because neither of them has
to hold them up, or readjust them in any way. They are long enough to
stretch all the way down to their knees, and seem to be made up from some
flax-like plant. I'm not talking four or five pieces of flax either,
because they have fashioned them so well that they hide everything, except
their thighs when they walk.

"Uh, uh, uh, don't think you are going anywhere. You're gonna do what we
tell you to do!" Callum demands in as menacing a tone as he can achieve,
whilst poking me in the stomach with the stick.

I take one look at the stick and decide the safest thing to do is go along
with them. I can tell Pierre is thinking the same, because without clothes
we leave ourselves vulnerable to getting hurt from incidental contact. I
know neither boy would deliberately hurt us, but accidents do happen. So
not willing to take any chances we go along with the boys' commands.

The two boys prod us along until we are at the base of a tree, then Manuel
drops his stick, while Callum stands guarding us. Manuel now positions us
so that our backs are against the trunk of the tree and he also spreads our
legs, all while my brother keeps his stick pointed at us. If this is going
where I think it is going, then I'm not sure I want to go through with this
any more. I know they are only playing, but there is something about the
way they have Pierre and I backed up against the tree which bothers me.

Sure enough, Manuel confirms my fears moments later when he pulls a couple
of makeshift ropes out from the other side of the trunk. Yet again, I see
the ropes are made out of the same flax as their grass skirts, which
astounds me that the two youngsters had enough time to plan all this and
make everything while Pierre and I were in the cave. We must have been away
a lot longer than it seemed, which makes me wonder about how long we have
left before we need to think about swimming back to the boat.

"Right, we are gonna tie you up, then we will run away while you try to get
out. Once you are free you have to catch us and tie us up to the tree so we
can escape," Callum tells us. I am impressed that they have managed to come
up with some sort of game, especially after all the effort they went into
to dress the part, but the time is starting to play on my mind because I
think we have all lost track of it.

"Ok... I think... I don't know if we are going to have much time for this,
because it must be getting close to the time we need to be heading back...!
Anyway, outta interest you two, where did you learn how to make those grass
skirts?" I ask. Callum starts beaming in pride from my comment, which makes
me realise it was him who knew how to do it.

"I learned it in Maori class at school, and got an A+ for my skill and
craftsmanship on the ones we had to make. While you were away, I started to
realise we weren't gonna get time to explore the cave again with you, so I
decided to teach Manuel how to make these, and he came up with the idea for
the game," he says, feeling more and more proud of their efforts the more
he tells us about it.

While Callum and I have been having our conversation, Manuel has started to
tie Pierre to the tree. Manuel has crudely bound his hands around the trunk
of the tree, which he has his back against, and is now working on tying his
legs up. Tying up Pierre's legs is causing a bit of a problem for the boy,
because he doesn't want to him to lose balance since that could hurt him,
so he has to carefully plan how he is going to do it. He decides in the end
not to tie up each leg individually, but to lash both legs below the knees
to the tree trunk while coiling the flax rope up his legs towards his
thigh, which effectively binds him to the trunk.

Once Manuel is happy that he has Pierre secure enough, he starts to work on
me, tying me up the same way as he did to Pierre, which makes things worse
for my lover because he is doubly roped against the trunk. It feels strange
getting tied up, but I wouldn't say it is a pleasant feeling, because it
reminds me I have felt trapped and bound to a heavy weight for so long in
my life, which starts to bring all that misery back. The pathetic and
helpless feeling I had during my depression comes flooding back and I fight
to keep control of my emotions, because I know this is only a game the
youngsters want to play, so don't want to disappoint them.

"Manuel, stop, I think this is too much for Josh, and probably Pierre as
well," a concerned Callum says, because he has picked up on the vibes
coming from me and he realises that being bound like this is a similar
feeling to how it felt while depressed.

Without being physically bound to the tree Callum can still feel the same
emotions as have flooded my mind. Pierre is living the same emotions too,
but because he is bound on the opposite side of the tree to me I can't see
him. I might have been able to feel his emotions, if my own hadn't got in
the way, but then again maybe that is why the feelings are so strong. I
mean being bound to a tree shouldn't bring on emotions this strong should
it? I am starting to believe that they may be doubled up through Pierre
feeling the same things, but I can't believe Callum is feeling them too.

I know Callum and I have a strong brotherly bond, but I never thought it
was that strong. In saying that he did go through the same depression I had
when Pierre was ripped out of our lives a while ago, so that might explain
a bit about how he is feeling what I am. The strange thing is I can see his
body trembling from the strength of the emotions coursing through him. I
can't understand that reaction because my body isn't shaking, which leads
me to believe that Pierre's isn't either. It might be the image of seeing
us physically bound which has set him off, but I can't be sure.

Without needing to be told, Manuel has started to unfasten the binding he
has put on Pierre and I. Callum comes over to help, but I can tell
something is wrong with him. He seems to be upset, which I wonder is
whether he is feeling bad about doing this, but then again he could still
be feeling what we were before, so I say nothing about it. It's not because
I don't care, but more I don't want to bring it up again and make him feel
bad about it, because they were playing around and never meant for this to
happen.

"I'm sorry, I should have known better. I knew it was a bad idea, I knew
it, knew it..." Callum sobs, before breaking down in tears. I should have
known this is how he is feeling, and I'm a little annoyed at myself for
disregarding my initial thoughts about what is wrong with him.

"Callum and Manuel, this was neither of your fault, because it was just
supposed to be a game. No one knew that we were going to feel so
uncomfortable about it, so how can you blame yourselves for it?" I ask
them, while embracing Callum in a brotherly hug, now that I have been freed
from my bindings. I figured I should include Manuel in my speech, because I
know that deep down he too is feeling bad.

"I can blame myself, because you're my brother so I should have known this
wouldn't go down right. I should know these things, just like you know what
upsets me," he blubbers in response, because he thoroughly believes he
should have known that I wouldn't handle getting tied up after all I have
been through.

"Callum, don't be stupid. Don't you think I would have stopped you long
before you tied us up, if I knew I wasn't going to handle it? I don't like
upsetting you, but I still would have stopped you, because I know you would
get more upset if I didn't. At the time I had no problems with your idea,
other than thinking it was a little strange," I tell him sternly, trying to
stop him blaming himself by telling him off.

It works, because he never expected a growling from me. I only ever growl
at him when he has done something stupid which could have got him in
serious trouble, so he knows I meant what I said. The surprise of having
been told off has snapped him out of his sulk, so he is no longer crying,
but it has had the added effect of stopping him from blaming himself. He
knows I am right and I wouldn't have let them go through with the plans if
I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle it, so there was no way for him
to know either, therefore no reason to blame himself.

I squeeze Callum in our hug in order to emphasise that all is alright,
which causes him to hug me back. Once Manuel has finally released Pierre
from his binds, he hugs the younger boy, which initially causes the boy to
flinch because he wasn't sure what Pierre was up to. Once Manuel realises
all Pierre wants to do is hug him, he allows it and cuddles back. Like
Callum, Manuel needs the reassurance that they didn't do anything wrong, so
Pierre giving him a hug is just what the doctor ordered.

The two youngsters are holding us tightly in our hugs, because our
reassurance is what they need so desperately at the moment. I love hugging
Callum like this and to be honest I haven't done this anywhere near enough
lately, so I think he has been feeling a little left out and he is
definitely trying to make up for it now. At one stage the two of us were
hugging almost every day, but to be honest, that was because we were
cowering away from our raging father. Once dad left we continued to cuddle
regularly, but now with Pierre in my life we don't spend much time together
any more.

Pierre has started to properly adopt Manuel as his younger sibling, and by
the looks of it the younger boy has started to do the same, although a
little timidly. I don't know why, but I'm sure Manuel is still scared about
hurting Pierre, so is not totally comfortable hugging him still. He has
come a long way from what he was like in the hospital, but is a little
tentative around Pierre, which is surprising considering he throws himself
at me.

I'm not sure why Manuel has connected better with me than he has with
Pierre, but it may have something to do with Callum. I can't say why
exactly, but he seems to feed off my younger brother, and it is almost like
he can sense what Callum is thinking. Even though Callum has become
attached to Pierre, he has always been, and still is closer to me, so I
think that is what Manuel has picked up on. Now with a bit of time, and of
course the counselling he received from Alice, Manuel seems to be getting
closer to Pierre again. He used to treat both of us equally, before all the
drama happened when he became a little scared of Pierre, but it doesn't
matter too much because Callum has, and always will be his favourite.

We stay in our hugs for quite a long time. Manuel becomes noticeably closer
and closer to Pierre the longer he spends in the embrace. I know from
looking at him that he needs a proper bigger brother, and because I'm
already sort of taken by Callum, he is adopting Pierre as his. Pierre is
like Manuel in a lot of ways, because he too has grown up as an only child,
always longing for another sibling. He is more than happy to be Manuel's
older brother, because he adores the little boy so much, almost like he is
his younger one. Even though we are all going to become one big family, we
are still always going to be from different parents, aside from Callum and
me, so for Pierre and Manuel it is more for a sense of belonging, than any
other reason.

"Come on, time to stop hugging, because it must be time we swam back to the
boat," I say half-heartedly, before reluctantly releasing Callum from my
embrace.

The rest of them sigh, and moan a little in protest, while they also let go
of each other. The moans aren't so much because we don't want to stop
hugging, although we don't want that either, but they are more because we
all realise we are in for a long swim back to the boat, which none of us
are particularly ready for. I know I am still feeling a little sore and
tired from the original swim over here, so the swim back is going to be a
lot harder. I think the others are in the same boat, and haven't
recuperated enough from the first swim.

Even though we are still feeling tired and rueing that we didn't use some
of our time ashore to relax, we head back along the path, searching for the
clearing back to where we were when we came ashore. It doesn't take us too
long to find the clearing and cautiously make our way through it to the
beach. I look over my body once I'm back on the pebbly sand, and am
pleasantly surprised to see I have got through the whole adventure without
a scratch. I can also see that everyone else has accomplished the same
feat, not that the others seem the slightest bit worried about whether they
got a scratch or not.

While we head towards the waterline, Callum and Manuel use the time to take
off their grass skirts because they will be too much of a hindrance during
the swim to continue wearing. The boat seems to be a lot further away now,
but it is probably due to how tired I am and thinking about how long the
swim is going to be. I can also make out what seems to be a figure swimming
towards the beach, but it is still too far away to make out properly. All
it tells me is it is time to start swimming back because it must be time to
go.

We wade out into the water until we are deep enough to be able to swim. I
use the chance to stretch out my arms muscles, trying to free them up for
the long swim back. Callum also stretches because it is something the two
of us have got used to with surfing, while Pierre and Manuel have no idea
what the two of us are doing. Once Pierre works out that we are stretching
in preparation for the swim, he follows suit and Manuel copies everyone
because he figures it must be the right thing to do, and he doesn't want to
get left out.

One by one as we reach a good depth to start swimming, we dive into the
water and start the long paddle home. Callum and Manuel are the first of us
to have to start swimming, because they are the shortest, so reach deep
water first. I'm sure it becomes a bit of a game between Pierre and me to
see who can walk out the furthest before having to resort to
swimming. Initially I thought with all my experience in the water that it
should be easy to outlast Pierre, but due to his boating experience he too
has learned how to wade out as far as possible, so in the end it is an even
matchup.

We both finally decide to start swimming when the water starts to lap at
the bottom of our mouths, so we know we aren't going to get any further. By
this stage Callum and Manuel have swum a long way out in front of us, so
our next challenge is to catch the youngsters before reaching the
boat. Without needing to say anything to Pierre, I know he has the same
idea as I have, so we both start paddling hard and fast, in an attempt to
catch the young ones.

We catch them surprisingly quickly, but that is due to them being a lot
wiser than us two, and taking it easy. I can tell already that chasing them
down was not a good idea, because my arms are aching and I'm short of
breath. The worst part is the boat is still a long way off, so I'm going to
have to continue to battle my exhausted body for a good while longer. The
good thing is Pierre is in the same state as I am, so I'm not going to be
alone in the battle to reach the boat. I also figure the natural
competition will drive us both not to give up, and beat the other to the
safety of the boat.

It is steady but slow progress as we swim towards the boat, making me
absolutely sure that the boat is further away than it was when we swam to
the beach in the first place. We have to stop swimming about halfway
across, because as I thought someone is swimming out to us. It is
François, who is already looking as tired as we feel, but hugely
relieved not to have to swim all the way to the beach and back. We all take
a little bit of a rest; even though treading water is still tiring it isn't
so bad on the arms.

"Thank god you have decided to come back, because I really didn't fancy
having to swim all the way to the beach. As soon as we are all back we will
be heading back to Manuel's grandparents," he tells us, once we have all
met up and he realises it is us.

We don't waste any time on chatter, so once we are ready we start swimming
again towards the boat, which still looks like it is a mile off. The closer
we get to the boat the further away it seems to drift, and it is starting
to become agonisingly painful and slow. After what seems like an eternity
the boat is within reaching distance, and it is such a wicked feeling when
I finally put my hand against the hull and know I have made it. Pierre is a
little behind me, but not much, but the other two boys have drifted a long
way back, and François is even further.

I look around the boat hoping to find a ladder or something to make getting
into the boat easier, but there is nothing. We are going to have to pull
ourselves out of the water and onto the boat. The last thing either of us
want to do is attempt to climb because our arms feel too sore and like
jelly after the mammoth swim. The agonising part is we know we have no
choice but to try to climb on board, because there is no other way around
it.

We both try to gather as much strength as we can, before we try to climb up
the side. It takes a lot of effort just trying to reach high enough up the
side to grab hold of something solid. Once we achieve that, we again gather
our strength before attempting to heave ourselves out of the water and on
board the boat. Thankfully we don't have to expend the energy yet, because
Manuel's grandpa must have seen us attempting to get hold of something, so
has come over to lend a hand by pulling us out of the water.

He makes short work of yanking Pierre out of the water and onto the
boat. He makes it look like Pierre is as light as a feather, so I can tell
he has done this often. He has no problems pulling me out either, and I am
caught off guard by how strong the elderly man is, because he sure as hell
doesn't look it. Within seconds he pulls me out and onto the deck, which
happens so quickly I almost fall over because my legs aren't ready to take
my weight. The next thing I know is Callum is staggering around beside me,
because he too has been hoisted aboard so fast he didn't have time to
adjust.

I didn't expect to see him so soon after I got out of the water, because
the last I had seen of him he was well off our pace and miles behind. It
must have taken us a lot longer than I thought to get Manuel's grandpa's
attention, which is proven moments later when Manuel is also hoisted on
board. François is the only one left to get on board, but he is still a
ways off even reaching the boat, so Manuel's grandpa starts to get
everything ready while we wait for him to catch up.

Francois is really struggling to swim as far as the boat, because swimming
has never been a strong point for him. It is sheer grit and determination
which gets him as far as the boat, but we can tell he is completely
shattered and is battling to even stay afloat now. Pierre, sensing the
urgency of the situation, runs over to the edge of the boat and reaches
over to grab hold of his uncle, while Manuel and Callum race over to
help. I try to offer my assistance, but work out that I will end up getting
in the road so they are best to do it themselves. With Manuel and Callum
holding onto Pierre, and helping to pull him and François onto the boat,
it all seems to be totally in control.

Everything suddenly turns chaotic. I have no idea what happens to
François, because everything around me suddenly goes black. The sea
becomes savage; it seems to want to smash the boat into pieces, all the
while it is being assisted by violent gale-force winds and torrential
rain. Suddenly everything around me is brightly lit up by a tremendous
flash of lightning, and I see my father, well Pierre's father, clinging
onto the railing for dear life. He looks shit scared, but not willing to
give up hope yet. I am his hope and need to pull him back onto the yacht as
quickly as I can.

I am scared beyond belief, and between the savage rocking of the yacht and
the inconsistent lighting, due to having to wait for each flash of
lightning to be able to see, all because the flashlight I`m carrying is
hopeless, it makes it tough going to race over to where dad is hanging off
the edge. Slipping and stumbling I make my way over to the railing which
dad is hanging off. I have to try to be brave, because I have to save
him. I don't want to lose the only parent I have left, because I don't
think I could handle going through all that again. Losing mum was hard
enough because I loved her to bits, but with only dad left, losing him will
completely destroy me.

Once at the edge I ditch the flashlight, because to be honest it is a waste
of time and too much of a burden to continue carrying. The lightning is
frequent enough that I can see relatively clearly most of the time, despite
the torrential rain. I try in desperation to grab hold of dad and hoist him
back onto the yacht. It is a struggle, but with his assistance we slowly
seem to be making some headway, as his drenched heavy body starts to rise
up the side.

His eyes are full of the grit and determination I am feeling, but they
suddenly change, along with the expression on his face. The look of a
determined man changes instantly to one of sheer terror and
helplessness. He becomes a dead weight, almost like he has seen something
which has made him give up all hope. I don't want to turn around, but
curiosity gets the better of me, so I do. I instantly regret the decision,
because all I see is a wall of water from a gigantic wave towering
overhead. It makes me feel so insignificant from its sheer size. The
monstrous thing seems to be teetering there like it is trying to decide
whether it is going to come crashing down on us or not.

"Pierre, find somewhere safe to hide. You must save yourself son, go, save
yourself!" dad screams in French, trying desperately to be heard over the
wind, rain, thunder and of course the crashing of waves.

I hear him, somehow over all the noise, so rip my attention away from the
wave to my father. Something is wrong; I can see it on his face, and I'm
not just talking about the wave threatening to come crashing down on
us. His face looks like he has given up hope and almost apologetic, which
confuses me. The answer comes moments later, startling the hell out of me,
which causes me to scream loudly and makes me feel totally lost and
confused. He lets go of the rail, and in slow motion I watch while he
plunges into the violent sea, before it greedily swallows him up. I stand
there hoping to see him emerge, because I need to know he is alive but I
don't see him again.

The image of him plunging into the angry unforgiving sea starts to play
itself over and over again, like a broken record. The longer I keep
replaying the sequence the more I start to notice these flashes of other
information interrupting my thoughts. The image of dad's death becomes more
broken up, before it is eventually replaced by all this other random
information, which seems to be trying to tell me a story, but at the moment
is still gobbledegook.

Slowly the information starts to piece itself together, providing a clear
picture of the story they are trying to tell. I am back at a funeral, its
mum's funeral. I know this because I am gutted and can't stop crying. It is
all too hard to stay in here, because I don't feel like I'm a strong enough
person to cope with this. I don't want to get reminded of my loss, so why
do I have to be here? I already know mum is dead, because I was there when
it all happened. I can't take it any more, so without thinking about the
scene I'm making I yell out some obscenities and run out of the chapel,
barging through the solid oak doors like they were made of paper.

I run as far as my legs will take me, before I break down in tears. By this
stage I am at the side of the road, so I sit down on the edge of the
sidewalk and hug my knees, while rocking back and forth. I need mum,
because she knows how to make me feel better, but I know that won't
happen. I am here for that reason, but I don't like the constant
reminder. Someone quietly sits down beside me, before giving me a huge
hug. I can tell it is dad, because of the way he is hugging me. He is as
devastated as I am about it, which means my outburst gave him the perfect
excuse to get away from the funeral, because it was eating him up as badly
as it was me.

Piece by piece I relive Pierre's life from his mum's funeral through to his
dad getting washed off the boat, and of course Pierre himself nearly
dying. Although Pierre and his father seemed to have fun while travelling
the world on the yacht, I can tell it was all just a façade, because
neither of them was coping particularly well with the loss of Pierre's
mum. It was constantly gnawing away at the two of them, preventing them
from feeling any real happiness, but they both never noticed the effect it
was having on them. Reliving it through Pierre's eyes, and feeling how he
felt, has highlighted to me how miserable he was during that time, so it
makes me even more grateful to have come into his life and brightened it up
for him.

The flashback starts to fade away, like the projection screen does in a
movie theatre when the picture is over, but as I start to waken I notice a
severe and agonising thumping feeling in my head. It feels like it is about
to explode, which concerns me greatly, because I haven't felt like this
after a flashback before. This one however was an extremely long one, so
maybe it is because of all the information being thrust into my mind which
is giving me such a severe headache.

It is an extreme effort to open my eyes from the pain caused by my
headache. The other thing which makes the task so difficult is that the
world is far too bright, causing me to instinctively close them
again. Despite the headache I start to feel more awake, but still can't
keep my eyes open for very long, let alone get them to focus. I get sick of
not being able to see what is going on around me, so I force my eyes open,
and try to get them to focus, but no matter how hard I try it doesn't seem
to work.

The world is still blurry, and I'm seeing everything in double. I can
vaguely work out the outline of people surrounding me, but have no idea
where I am or what has happened. Something seems to be trickling from my
nose down to my lips, so as a reflex action I wipe my nose with the back of
my hand and then try to examine the result. I can't see clearly what is
coming from my nose, but I can tell that the back of my hand now has a red
smear over it.

I suddenly get a taste of iron, as the liquid trickles onto my lips and
into my mouth. Instantly I work out that the mystery substance is blood,
because I have had my fair share of bloody noses thanks to my father and
his big hands. It is not a taste I like, because it brings back all the bad
memories of the beatings I used to receive at the hands of my father, so I
spit it out. My head is starting to feel like it is swimming, making me
feel nauseous, and along with the other symptoms I seem to be displaying, I
am starting to become extremely worried about what is going on.

The blurred double vision, severe throbbing headache, nose bleed plus
disorientation which is causing my head to swim, what the hell could it all
mean? I have had similar symptoms before, usually after one of dad's severe
beatings, but I know I haven't been beaten up, so none of it makes
sense. The other thing I have only just noticed is the world seems to be
completely silent; I can't hear any noise at all, which is scaring the shit
out of me. Have I suddenly become deaf? God I hope not, because I will miss
hearing my boyfriend's sexy French accent.

That is the other odd thing. I can't feel Pierre's presence comforting
me. It is like he isn't there, or maybe all the symptoms I am displaying
are cancelling out any positive benefits I get from him. Surely not,
because he was in a much worse state than I am when he was in hospital, yet
he could still sense my presence. I am starting to wonder if something has
gone majorly wrong, but how and what had we been up to for that to happen?
Nothing makes any sense, and the more I try to think about it the more my
head hurts.

I am in constant battles with my body to try and focus my eyes, prevent
myself throwing up and to stop myself from dozing off, but I feel like I'm
losing all of them. My stomach is churning worse the more my head hurts,
and the more tired I get the more my head swims making the feeling of
nausea even worse. My eyelids are feeling so much like concrete blocks now
I'm struggling to keep them open any longer, and I can feel myself drifting
off to sleep.

I feel someone suddenly shaking my shoulder, as they make a desperate
attempt to prevent me sleeping, but the result is me losing control of my
gut. Throwing up has to be the most horrible sensation there is, let alone
the awful aftertaste it leaves in your mouth. I don't know how many times I
threw up, or even where it went. I am still unable to focus my eyesight and
seeing things in double is starting to get annoying, but as hard as I try I
can't fix the problem, which frustrates me more.

Once my stomach has settled down I am overcome by fatigue, and despite
anyone's best efforts to keep me awake they fail miserably. My eyes are far
too heavy to keep opening them up every time I get shaken, so keep them
closed after a while. It still takes a long time before my head shuts down
and I sleep, because my mind is swimming so bad I keep getting the nauseous
feeling coming back, but I don't throw up any more. The severe throbbing
headache is the main reason it takes so long to nod off properly, because
it is too hard to ignore, but eventually I become that exhausted that even
my headache can no longer keep me awake.

The pounding in my head prevents me from getting long sleeps, but nothing
seems to change each time I awaken. My eyes still refuse to focus, so even
if the scenery around me is changing I don't notice. I can't even tell
whether I'm sitting or lying down, which isn't helped by the disorientated
swimming feelings in my head. Blood seems to still be pouring out of my
nose and I try desperately not to allow any of it in my mouth, but the
worst thing is the nausea which doesn't seem to want to settle down, no
matter how many times I chuck.

I seem to be awake for about ten minutes at a time before I fall back to
sleep for about half an hour. Every time someone is trying desperately to
prevent me from falling back asleep, but they fail miserably each time. It
isn't because I'm trying to fall asleep again, no, I know something is not
right, so I know I have to try to stay awake. Despite my knowledge and best
intentions, sleep always wins. I fight my hardest, which as anyone who
knows me will tell you I am no push over. I am stubborn and I know how to
fight, because in some way shape of form I have been doing it most of my
life, but this is one fight I am no match for.

I'm feeling alone all the time while I try to fight whatever is wrong with
me, despite knowing that there are three to four people crowding around
me. Due to having double vision I can't tell exactly how many people are
there, so I'm guessing at the number, but I feel like someone is
missing. Someone important to me, whom I desperately need to help me
through this. Since the flashback I haven't felt his warm comforting love,
in fact I haven't felt his presence at all.

The more time that passes the more concerned I become, because it is unlike
Pierre to leave me wallowing in so much pain and discomfort, unless
something has happened to him too. If we were together then I know we would
both be fine given enough time, but for some reason we aren't with each
other, so whatever one of us is going through the other will too. That
thought makes me wonder about which symptoms are mine and which are his,
but then again I can't sense him at all, so they may all be mine.

All this thinking while I am awake quickly takes its toll, making my
headache worse and my stomach churn more. The biggest impact it has on my
current state of health is that it upset me, causing my mental state to
become unstable, which is not a good thing at the best of times, but
without Pierre is generally worse. Everything going on in me is getting to
the unbearable stage, and the fight I'm waging against all my symptoms is
quickly becoming a lost cause. I am starting to lose the massive battle in
a big way, because I can slowly feel my mind fading away as I lose
consciousness.

"Seriously I think we need to get them to the doctors, or maybe the
hospital," I hear a voice yelling frantically, which I am glad about
because it means my hearing has come back.

"How the hell could you allow this to happen? I allow you to take them
sailing and you bring them back like this! I'm glad you don't take kids on
lessons if this is the result," another voice snaps back. I can tell
straight away that I have started to awaken in the middle of some argument,
but I'm unable to open my eyes to see who it is that is arguing.

"It was a bloody accident, because I never got warned about the two older
boys spacing out the way they did, so I panicked and let go of the boom
before it was properly secured," the first voice yells back. I am slowly
starting to get a picture about what has happened, but I am still confused
because surely the boom can't have hit Pierre and me without taking out
Callum and Manuel as well.

"Stop it, stop it! It was no-one's fault so can you stop arguing about it?"
another voice yells, but this one sounds like it is on the verge of
breaking down. The voice is definitely one of a young boy, so this one I
recognise straight away. It is Callum's and I am a bit surprised to hear
him trying to break up an argument, because he normally shies away from any
conflict. I can tell he is still practising things that Alice has taught
him, so he can get over the emotional abuse dad inflicted on him.

After Callum's outburst an eerie silence fills the room, because whoever
the two bickering adults were realise he is right and it was no-one's
fault. The silence helps me to focus back on myself, and I realise my
headache has gone along with my queasy gut. It takes a while to see whether
my eyes have cleared up as well, because I am finding it exceedingly hard
to open them. My energy levels are still at rock bottom, which is leaving
me feeling exceptionally tired still; as a result my eyelids don't want to
open.

One thing I have started to notice as I try to open my eyes is a painful
throbbing feeling coming from my nose. I reach up and feel around it, but
end up pulling my hand away rapidly because of the intense pain which has
shot through my head from the contact. I know from previous experience that
I have somehow broken my nose again, which explains the constant bleeding I
had noticed earlier on. Gradually my eyes open and slowly focus; much to my
relief they focus properly and I no longer have double vision, but as I
look down my still naked body I see it has a river of red running down the
middle of it from where the blood from my bleeding nose has dripped.

"Joshy, you're awake again!" Callum shrieks excitedly, after seeing my eyes
open. Hearing his shrill high pitched voice is amazing, because I had
worried about being deaf, and there is not much that sounds as beautiful as
his voice when he is in an excited mood. It sounds a hundred times better
than the argument I awoke to.

"Yes, I'm awake and feeling a lot better. What the hell happened?" I ask in
a soft croaky voice.

"So glad you can talk this time, because all you could do before was drivel
a whole lot of nonsense. Oh you want to know what happened...? Um... Pierre
suddenly freaked out and started screaming; as a result he dropped
François back in the water and caused Manuel's grandpa to panic..." he
replies.

"Oh thank god you're awake again and looking a lot better," Manuel's
grandpa interrupts, after hearing Callum talking to me and hearing me
respond.

After having had everyone else in the room also come to check on me, I get
told the rest of the story. I had also screamed at the same time Pierre
had, which is why Manuel's grandpa had panicked so much, because he thought
something exceedingly bad must have happened. In his panic he forgot to
secure the boom and raced over to Pierre, because that's where he figured
the trouble was happening. Seeing François back in the water and Pierre
in a trance had the man confused and he didn't notice the sudden gust of
wind that came up.

The first any of them realised Manuel's grandpa's mistake was when they
heard a sickening thud from the boom swinging into me at a good rate of
knots, which knocked me over causing me to smack my head on the guard rail
on the way down. The guard rail is what broke my nose and gave me all the
rest of the symptoms, which I learn is because I had become concussed, well
at least that's what they think happened. I am going to have to go to the
doctors to get checked out, but they don't seem to be too concerned about
it any more because I seem to be fine.

"What about Pierre, where is he and what happened to him?" I ask them
frantically, after they finish explaining what had happened to me.

"Pierre is fine and has been for a while. He is asleep in bed, but he gave
us as big a fright as you did. He was showing all the same symptoms that
you seemed to have, but they all suddenly cleared up not long before we got
back," Manuel's grandpa explains. I can see that he hasn't had everything
explained to him yet about us, because he obviously doesn't know about
Pierre's and my empathic connection. If he did, then he would know why
Pierre got sick the way he did, and also why he got better. I know why, but
still can't believe it.

"Can you take me in to him, because I need to sleep as well, I'm completely
shattered?" I ask, well more state, because I won't take no for an
answer. I just presume they will do as I want them to.

"We should take you to the doc..." Manuel's grandpa starts to say.

"Don't worry about it, I know he will be fine. He has gone through much
worse before and Pierre will help fix him anyway!" mum interrupts,
surprising the hell out of me, because I didn't expect this from
her. Strange, I should be getting used to the unexpected from her, because
it is happening a lot more regularly now.

I want to give mum a hug for backing me up, but as hard as I try my body
won't co-operate with me, so I can't sit up. I'm feeling rather frustrated
about that, but the problem is solved when mum and Sarah decide that they
will be the ones to help me through to the bedroom, which enables me to
give mum a hug. She is caught by surprise this time, because even with our
grudges settled, I still have hardly hugged her in ages, so she is not used
to it.

I give her a tight loving hug, well, it feels tight but my arms are so dead
that I don't think my hug is tight at all. It doesn't bother mum though, as
she hugs me back. We hug for a while, before she realises just how weak I
am, so decides it is time to get me to bed. I am disappointed when she
stops hugging me, because without Pierre it is the most loved I have felt
in a while, but then again I know I'm about to see him again, so I don't
really know what I was disappointed about.

Mum wraps one of my arms around her shoulder and Sarah does the same with
the other, before they hoist me up to a standing position. It is now I see
I had been lying on one of the couches in the lounge while they argued
about what was the best thing to do about me, but I am glad to see I have
no blood on it because I would have felt that to be disrespectful, despite
not having any control over it. Everyone says their goodnight, and Callum
and Manuel both give me a huge hug, before mum and Sarah carry me out to
the bedroom Pierre is sleeping in.

Upon entering the room and seeing my beautiful angel lying naked on the
bed, I'm a little concerned because he literally looks dead to the
world. If he is breathing it is not noticeable and he is lying completely
still, but I'm sure he is fine, and can't wait to get into bed with
him. Mum and Sarah carry me to the bed and lie me down beside my lover, and
almost instantly he seems to come to life, as he rolls over and wraps an
arm around me. It feels so wonderful and makes me feel complete again, so I
wrap an arm around him. Mum and Sarah do a quick job of cleaning the blood
off me, before I drifted off into slumberland with my lover.

************

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