Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2017 18:50:50 -0500
From: lewissiwel8890@aol.com
Subject: Wesley and Seamus Chapter

Wesley And Seamus
By: Wesley Lewis
Chapter 5: Baby Steps

Wes' POV

	It had been a week since I woke up from the coma. The doctor said I
needed to start physical therapy on my legs because I had been in the bed
for so long. He said it will help strengthen the muscles in my good leg, if
I have one, as well as serving to get exercise. I agreed with the doctor on
this part. If I was going to be with Seamus I was going to lose weight so
I'd be with him for a long time to come without having to worry about
health problems.
	Seamus had told me that he loved me just the way I am, he may like
the way I look but I don't. Seamus has it easy he's tall and is toned in
the right places. He's not some muscle head but if need be, he could take
care of himself. He was so fit and masculine everything I wanted to be. Now
I'm not saying I'm like a flamer or anything nut if you asked a random
person who they thought was gay me or Seamus, they would pick me every
time.
	So now I'm waiting impatiently for this physical therapist to come
and roll me down and probably push me the limits. Boy, was I surprised when
he walked in. This guy was big, I don't mean like me big, he was big and
tall. He was easily six foot six, probably weighing in at two hundred forty
pounds of pure muscle. He had this gorgeous shoulder length blond hair tied
in a ponytail. His face was clean shaven with eyes that were like silver
moonlight. He looked about the same age as my father is which was late
twenties.
	"Hi I'm Jesse and I'll be your therapist." His voice said
deeply. If I was single, and able to walk, I probably would have jumped in
his arms.
       On the way, out of the room we bumped into dad as he was coming
in. there was something odd about the way they looked at each other as they
passed, almost as if they knew one another.
	"Was that your father there we ran into?" he asked with a little
hesitation
	"Yes, that's my dad the wonderful Pastor Jason Oates"
	"You said Jason Oates" he asked really excited, "did he go to
school in this area?"  I told him I think he did but I wasn't entirely sure
and asked him why he wanted to know.
	"Well it's kind of embarrassing but if it's the Jason whose father
was a minister then that was my first crush". By now he had turned a shade
of red and looked away from me like he was embarrassed.
	"Well my grandfather was a minister at our current church up until
he retired. Wait, are you by any chance a quarterback on the varsity team
senior year?"
	He looked mildly embarrassed and responded telling me "Yes I was QB
my junior and senior years, how did you know that I've never talked about
that to anyone."
	When I told him that my dad had always talked about this big guy
named Jesse who played football when he was in school but during the first
game of the senior year he had been tackled and somehow his leg got
broken. As I looked at Jesse he had tears in his eyes and a painful look on
his face when I asked him what was wrong he brushed it off telling me it
was nothing. The thing that I hadn't told Jesse about was the way my dad
would look as he talked about Jesse. It was almost as if there was some
longing in his voice like it hurt him to talk about it. I never really
understood why my father looked that way before but I was bound and
determined to find out why.
	We made our way to the training room where I would be spending a
lot of time over the next few weeks. I thought that he would have me trying
to walk on crutches the first day, but once again I was wrong. He started
me out doing simple leg lifts. He told me this way I could get used to
using those muscles again. At first there was pain but after about the
tenth repetition I could feel the muscle strain start to fade. We took a
break after an hour of this my leg was burning but Jesse told me that would
pass.  He told me usually he would try and doing leg kicks in the pool but
seeing how I had a cast on my left leg that would be impossible. After the
food break we went right back to the leg lifts for about another hour
before he wheeled me back to my room where daddy was waiting.

JASON'S POV

	I couldn't believe it after all these years I run into Jesse. He
was one of my best friends in school and when he couldn't play ball that
last season in school I was the one that had been there for him. I had
always talked about Jesse to Wesley hoping maybe he would try out for the
football team, but that would never happen, sadly Wesley wasn't
athletic. What he lacked in athleticism though he more than made up for
academically.
	Jesse was always kind of shy and reserved as a kid. To my
knowledge, I was his only friend, but what others didn't know was we were
more than friends. When we were younger we would always play together doing
what kids usually did. When we both started puberty, we started mutual
exploration with each other. For some reason though I was always the one
who had initiated the activities and I couldn't figure out why until our
senior year.
	It was just a week after his injury and Jesse, for some reason, had
been avoiding me for the whole week. When I finally confronted him about it
and asked him why he hadn't come around his answered was not what I was
expecting.
	"Jason I haven't come around because I didn't want you to find out
about me and stop being my friend" he was on the verge of tears while
telling me this.
	"Jesse, you are my friend I'm not going to stop being friends with
you for any reason you are like my brother and I love you"
	"Jason your more than a brother to me. There's something you should
know," he tried to turn away before I made him look me in the eyes, "Jason
I'm gay and I've been in love with you for long time but I can't hide that
anymore." I stood there silently just trying to comprehend what he told me
before I made one of the worst decisions of my life.
	"Jesse, I meant what I said about being your friend but I'm sorry I
don't feel that way about you, the love I have for you is the kind that you
want."
	He then told me "I know that Jason but I couldn't lie to you
anymore, you mean too much to me not to deserve the truth." He then kissed
me which after the initial shock was over I admit I had enjoyed.
	After five minutes of this I pulled away from him shouting at him
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I just told you I didn't like you like
that and you fucking kiss me. I'm not some little fag Jesse!" I instantly
regretted the words after they left my mouth. The look on his face still
haunts me to this day and I'll never forget.
	A few days later I went to go to Jesse's house to apologize and try
to make things right but that wouldn't happen. It turns out that that
weekend Jesse and his dad moved to another town for his job. It had been in
the works for months so my father said. When I told pop, what happened he
calmed me down trying to make me see that maybe it was for the best that it
happened that way. When I asked him what he meant he explained to me that
maybe by Jesse admitting his feelings it was a way to make it less painful
to say goodbye. Personally, I think that was a load of bull but I thought
I'd never know the reason.
	There was one thing that nobody knew though. I had lied to Jason
when I said I didn't feel that way. I did love him the same way he did me,
the problem was I was too scared to admit what that meant. I was too much
of a coward to even try and find him after what happened. I was so confused
that first few days without him. I had promised myself though I would never
treat any other person the way I had Jesse. Another thing I had promised
was that I ever saw Jesse again I would make things right.

JESSE's POV
	It was him. The one person who broke my heart to a million
pieces. I couldn't believe the one person I never wanted to see again would
the father of my newest patient. The truth is though I had wanted to see
him just once so I could tell him how he hurt me. But when I went to do it
all those feelings I had once resurfaced. He might have been a total ass to
me that day but somehow, I never stopped loving him. But I now knew that
love wouldn't be returned that way. The man had a kid for goodness sake.
	When we were about to leave town for dad's new job he asked me why
I didn't want to tell Jason we were moving I lied and told him I had and we
already said goodbye. My father was always smarter than I gave him credit
for and asked me the real reason. I broke down and told dad what happened
he just stood there and held me. He never once acted like he was
embarrassed of me or ashamed.
	Wesley was amazing while we were doing his therapy he told me about
everything that had happened. He explained that his father was there for
him where his mother wasn't. he also confided in me that his dad was filing
for divorce. The very first thought in my mind was YES, HE'S ON THE
MARKET!!!!! Of course, my second thought was what he had told me all those
years ago, but then when I looked at him he looked sad. Maybe he was
remorseful over what had happened, or maybe he was depressed because of his
son's conditions.
	Even though what he said to me then hurt I had found love a few
times. Granted it wasn't the love I had for Jason but it was love. The
first guy I dated was in college we were both freshman when we
started. Brad had problems though. I didn't find out until after we broke
up that he was a recovering addict and he ended up overdosing and nearly
dying. The only other time was with a former patient. He was a wonderful
guy. Teddy was everything I wasn't. He was a spitfire that would standup
for anyone who was being picked on. We were together until he passed away
from complications with AIDS. He was the guy that I thought I would marry I
had even planned proposing to him on his birthday, but life had different
plans. Teddy died two years ago, and I haven't been on a date since and
have thrown myself into work.
	Wesley reminded me of Jason when he was younger. He had this
determination to push himself harder than he needed to be. Jason did the
exact same things. He had always pushed himself academically always
ensuring he was the very best. That was one of the reasons I think I fell
in love with him back then. Another thing was he was so cute with his wiry
frame. Sure, he had been on the small and waif-like but there was a saying
that went it's not the size of the dog in a fight, but the size of the
fight in the dog', and believe me Jason had a fire in him. Even though he
was small he never allowed him or any of the other smaller kids get picked
on. Wesley had confided in me that he wish he could lose weight so he
wouldn't have to deal with some bullies. I told wesley that when he was
better id help him lose the weight because I was also a trainer at a local
gym as well.
	Wesley tried to ask me about his dad and why they never hung out if
they had been such good friends. I told him simply that my family had moved
away and I recently moved back to the area. I couldn't tell Wesley what his
father had said to me because to this boy he was a hero. Of course I
probably should give Jason more credit. The way Wesley described his coming
out to him made me think that maybe he had changed, and maybe we could be
friends again.
	When the session had ended I rolled Wesley back to his room and
Jason asked if we could talk for a few minutes, I told him to let me get
wesley settled and then we would see.  JASON'S POV
	My stomach was in knots trying to come up with the words to tell
Jesse how sorry I was. He was still the same kind person I had known
then. Of course he had changed some as well. He was a little more defined
than I remember but it was when I saw his eyes that I remember the hurt I
had put him through.
	"Jason its good to see you, its been a while." He was so calm and
level headed. Truthfully if it had been me I would have blown up seeing the
guy who had broke my heart.
	"Jesse, its been too long and that's on my part. I would like to
explain why I did that back then. You deserve to know the truth and ive
been a coard keeping it locked up in me for so long." He stared at me with
kindest smile I had ever seen. I continued on saying "Jesse when you kissed
me I was shocked, and I am ashamed of what I said to you. The hurt on your
face broke my heart and when I went to apologize to you after a few days
you were gone. I don't blame you for hating me and I wish I had done it
sooner, but the way I acted was because I was too afraid to admit to you
that I did love you that way, I have regretted every day the pain my words
caused you. I promised that I would never hurt someone like that again."
	"Jason, you did hurt me, but I never hated you, you were my best
friend but I just couldn't face you. You aren't the reason I moved away
though and its partly my fault for not keeping in contact after
that. Truthfully, I never wanted anything to do with you or this town
again, but after my last boyfriend died, I decided to move back to my old
house. It never crossed my mind that you might still live here. I wanted to
hate you when I saw you earlier, I wanted to scream, but when I looked you
in the eyes and saw the sadness there, all of those feelings came rushing
back."
	By this time, we were both crying like some babies until I finally
asked him if he was seeing anyone. It was the first time in eleven years I
had seen his smile.
	"No, I'm not seeing anyone, I gave up on that after Teddy I can't
take the heartbreak of losing someone else again."
	Shakily I asked "What if you found someone who you had lost, would
you try it again, that is if you don't mind a guy who has a gay kid and is
going through a divorce all while being the local youth pastor at church?"
	He looked up with tears streaming down his face " Do you really
mean that, I'm telling you I can't take that kind of pain again, I felt
like I died when you said that to me and that you hated me, if you are
serious then I will accept under a few conditions, it has to wait until
wesley is out of the hospital and your divorce is final, I'm not going to
be looked at as a homewrecker, the last condition is I want it to be a
double date with Wesley and Seamus, can you accept those conditions?"
	For the first time in a long time my heart wasn't aching and I felt
like I may be happy I told him that I did accept his conditions but would
hope we could hang out and get reacquainted before having a date. He agreed
with me and said he got off in about two hours and he'd meet me in the
cafeteria after I explained everything to Wesley because he would not have
any secrets. We parted ways and I now had to try and figure out how to tell
Wesley.  WESLEY'S POV
	As dad sat there explaining to me his and Jesse's history I was gob
smacked. I would never had thought in a million years that my dad would be
interested in a guy. Although if I'm honest him and mom never did seem
right for some reason. They were always arguing about something for the
past few months and I had heard more than once mention of a divorce. As he
described how he was so sorry about how he treated Jesse and how he had
promised to never treat another person the way he did I couldn't help but
feel a little disappointed at how my father acted. The way his face looked
as he explained why he did it the more I believed him.
	When I couldn't take anymore of daddy's story I just put my hand
over his and said "Daddy I don't care who you date, if it makes you happy
then I'm happy. And for what it's worth Jesse does seem like a great guy,
but you do need to be patient with him he has been hurt before and he may
be a little cautious"
	After a few moments, Seamus came in the room my dad left saying he
had an important meeting in the cafeteria. When he left, I explained to
Seamus what all had happened he was just s amazed as I was. I began to tire
and before falling to sleep Seamus gave me a kiss and covered me up.


Hi everyone its Jack. I want to thank all those who have written. Thanks to
Kurt K., Jesse, William, Sid W., Dan H., Robert M., and William B.

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