From: nickz@tribeca.ios.com (two host guy)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.motss
Subject: My first time -- exactly ten years ago
Date: 19 Apr 1996 05:09:01 GMT
Organization: Internet Online Services
Lines: 55
Message-ID: <4l775d$ot3@news.ios.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: tribeca.ios.com
Summary: First time, in a YMCA, 4/18/86, motivates me to come out at age 21
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]

Well, I didn't see any narratives here, but I'm sorta celebrating now
because it's exactly 10 years since I was on an overnight trip, and though
I was then closeted, was intrigued by this attractive guy who, though nice
in private, felt compelled to adopt a somewhat homophobic façade in
public; it reminded me of the scene in _Welcome_Home_Bobby_ which I had
seen not long before about homphobia often resulting from a guy being
afraid of his own feelings.  Well, we were sleeping in sleeping bags in
the second-floor wrestling room of a YMCA which is now a pizza place (It
was really neat ordering pizza there with that room still there but
unused).  He and about five of his friends were talking and joking for
hours about cocksucking, jism and the like -- yet no one to my knowledge
openly identified as gay.  Well, they were enjoying it, that's for sure. 
There were about 36 of us up there; but a few slept downstairs because it
was rather crowded; my friend who was next to me decided to go downstairs
and sleep in an unused locker room so he could have some quiet.  Well,
Bill then came from across the room and plopped his sleeping bag down next
to mine. BTW, after I had showered earlier and found that there was a
sauna, he happened to be there also.  He was quite a sight to behold; I
don't thing I was staring or anything but maybe his gaydar was better than
mine back then.  Anyway, at one point I make a comment that the humor of
this club has reached a "new low", and the guy to my left (a friend of
Bill's, who is on my right) says that "It's not humor".  Now granted that
I was being facetious, but I really wondered what was meant by that
comment.  Maybe 10-15 minutes later I am laying there; seems like everyone
else is asleep; I'm thinking of how enjoyable the day was, and how these
trips have often had unexpected occurrences, often of great significance. 
Well, I then feel a hand to my right stroking my arm.  At first I froze,
then I just wanted it to continue; it didn't get very involved (just
stroking various parts of body) but, humble as it may be, it was my first
time.  In fact, I came before it had progressed any further than the
above; one of my friends chuckles at this and calls it my "clavicular
orgasm".  Yep, I suppose it is a little funny; but it was the first time; 
he was a really nice guy, athletic, and I had never before experienced
something like this.  It didn't develop into a full-blown relationship,
probably because we were both too closeted at the time; however, my
initial feeling of being torn between residual homophobia and the
experience itself, which was wonderful, and my feelings for him which
developed, gave way within a few months to being fully "out", as I no
longer desired to keep this suppressed or hidden.  I was 21 (am now 31),
and had known I was exclusively attracted to males since 4th or 5th grade;
while I did not usually try to suppress the feelings, I tried to talk
myself out of the notion that I was gay -- until that first experience. 

Well, sorry guys if that wasn't steamy enough for ya, but it's what 
happened.  I thank God that I was motivated to stop pretending or 
pressuring myself to date women I was not interested in just because it 
might "make me straight".  Nope -- I knew I was gay, and now I was 
thankful for that.  Though this relationship subsequently involved 
nothing more than occasional conversation, I did meet my first bona fide 
boyfriend at college the following fall (of 1986).

Any others have similar experiences?