ALT.SEX.MASTURBATION the FAQ
This is Part Three of the FAQ
ALT.SEX.MASTURBATION the FAQ
Contents of the whole FAQ are found with PART ONE
3.0 Techniques
3.1 Dangers
Because there used to be so much misinformation claiming
masturbation was harmful, many people now emphasize that
masturbation is safe. And it is. But the fact that a person may
be masturbating does NOT make the person immune from the laws of
physics or biology. You don't become Superman just because you
are jacking off.
There are some dangerous and deadly ways of jacking off or of
trying to. Some people think it is extremely funny to post
suggestions to a.s.m. that are inherently dangerous. They seem
to hope some idiot will try it and hurt or kill himself. And
unfortunately some idiots do.
Things that wouldn't be safe if you did them to your arms or your
toes do not become safe if you do them to your sexual parts.
There is good masturbation, better masturbation, and really great
masturbation, but there is not some cosmic orgasm out there
waiting for you if you do something stupid.
I have debated long and hard with myself whether to post any
information about these subjects for fear that there will be some
brain-damaged readers who will try this stuff. I have come to
the conclusion that information is better than ignorance and it
is better for people to know about these things in order to avoid
them than to let people risk being talked into something
dangerous because of ignorance.
************************
W A R N I N G !
THESE ARE NOT MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES! THESE ARE WAYS PEOPLE
HAVE HURT OR KILLED THEMSELVES!
1) AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION
Q. My wife told me about men who masturbate while standing on a
chair with a noose around there neck. I guess there is supposed
to be a thrill associated with cumming and going at the same
time. Apparently, a number of men have actually hung themselves
in the process. Hope it was worth it. Has anyone else heard about
this?
A. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence. It is called
autoerotic asphyxiation. There is a scene in a movie with Peter
O'Toole ("The Ruling Class") in which O'Toole's father
accidentally kills himself in this way, and the subject is common
in the novels of William S. Burroughs.
Apparently this practice started when it was believed that hanged
men get erections and ejaculate. If this happens at all, it
happens in modern hanging as a reflex action when the neck is
snapped and certainly the hanged men never feel anything.
Nonetheless, slow strangulation and anything else that prevents
oxygen from getting to the brain will cause light-headedness and
a feeling of intoxication. Some men (and this is almost
exclusively a male phenomenon) think this heightens orgasm.
What happens is a man, usually unmarried and alone, will strip
naked and stand on a chair or table. Then he will tie a noose
around his neck, lean against it to reduce the amount of air
getting into his lungs and then masturbate. Unfortunately,
sometimes the poor guy, in the throes of orgasm or perhaps just
by unlucky consequence or because of the unsteadiness caused by
lack of oxygen which will make people faint, will fall off of the
precarious perch and accidentally hang himself completely.
Usually it is perfectly obvious to investigators what has
happened because guys who intend to kill themselves don't usually
get naked or pull out their penises to do it. It is difficult
for families to decide whether they want the truth to be known or
whether they would prefer the death counted as a suicide.
Usually they opt for the latter.
Sometimes this activity becomes a trendy thing among groups of
boys. When one accidentally kills himself, the others usually
can guess the real story, and sometimes because of guilt, others
in the group will kill themselves or become careless
deliberately. This is what is behind many stories of suicides by
hangings among school chums, and also a number of supposed
suicides by men or boys who seemed to have everything to live
for.
THERE IS NO WAY TO PURSUE THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY SAFELY. Because
the idea of the practice is to deprive the brain of oxygen, the
activity will certainly cause lack of coordination and lapse of
judgment which are very likely to have deadly results.
THESE ARE NOT MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES! THESE ARE WAYS PEOPLE
HAVE HURT OR KILLED THEMSELVES!
Q. I have heard of a way to electrically stimulate myself. What
do you know about this.
A. This was supposed to be joke. Ha, ha. Someone tried it and
electrocuted himself doing it. There is simply no way to use
line current or car batteries that is not inherently dangerous.
You know better than to stick your finger in a light socket. Why
in the world would you think it would be safer to hook the same
current up to your sexual parts?
***End of discussion of inherently dangerous activities***
3.2 Male Techniques
3.2.1. Old Reliable
This one is the most common. Take the dominant hand (if you're
right handed, use your right hand), wrap the fingers around the
shaft and start stroking it up and down. Variations can include
turning the hand around in different positions, using different
fingers, and stroking different parts of the penis. The ALT.SEX
FAQ file has a long section on various hand techniques.
Sometimes lists of many thousands of ways have been made in which
the only difference in most of the ways is a slight variation of
finger position. There are, however, two fairly distinct
preferences: fairly loose, light, and usually more rapid
stimulation of the head of the penis, and a firmer grip used
nearer the base of the penis. Some men use two hands on the
penis to combine these basic forms of stimulation.
Although perhaps it is most common for masturbation of this kind
to be done lying on one's back, other positions are also fairly
common. Many men masturbate standing up, and this is convenient
in the shower where cleaning up is easier and which may be the
only place providing sufficient privacy or fo quickies in public
restrooms or other places when disrobing might be inconvenient or
arouse suspicion. Standing positions may make it easier to
thrust the pelvis and involve the whole body in the act. Sitting
positions are also common. Not so common are anumber of face
down positions, in which the man supports himself on his knees
and shoulders or knees and one elbow. Kneeling and crouching
positions are also used by some.
While male masturbation tends to be very much focused on the
penis, many men include secondary stimulation of other parts of
the body with their free hand. The other parts most often
included are the nipples, chest in general, belly, testicles,
anus, and thighs.
3.2.2. Not Quite So Reliable
The same as above, but using your non-dominant hand.
(So it is written in the old FAQ. However, a lot of left-handed
guys do prefer their right hands. Lefties make a lot of
adjustments to a right-handed world, and many learned to
masturbate right-handed, perhaps by the example of others.)
3.2.3. The Rubdown
This is simply placing the penis on or against something and then
rubbing the penis against it until orgasm. The simplest is to
simply roll over on your stomach and rub your penis on the
mattress. Variations include placing it between a pillow and
mattress, between two pillows, in a pile of clothes, in the
crevice between the sofa frame and cushions, between the
mattress and box springs, and similar places.
This may be too rough for many men, and sometime lubricated
plastic baggies, or condoms, or both are used to cover the penis.
Most of these techniques have the advantages, if they work at
all, of allow the male to thrust and of leaving the hands free.
3.2.4. The Waterfall
Women use this method often with good results. Place yourself so
that your penis is sprayed by water from the tub faucet, the
shower nozzle (particularly if you have the detachable kind), a
garden hose, or other device. The spray may provide the
sensations necessary for orgasm.
Needle fine sprays may be uncomfortable or numbing after a while.
Try various adjustments.
3.2.5. The Belly-scratch
Lay on your back in comfortable position. Lube up your penis (I
have no idea how good this method is without lube) and lay it
back against your stomach. Curl your fingers lightly around the
top half of the shaft and stroke the length of the penis. Don't
encircle the penis with your hand--just rub the top half with
your fingers and let the lower half rub against your belly.
3.2.6. Autofellatio
WARNING: This is not possible for everyone, and you can injure
yourself trying to do it.
This is the ability of perform fellatio (oral sex) on your own
penis. Most men are unable to do it, but many try and there are
a lot of people who claim to have done it to some extent as well
as a few porn stars whose main claim to fame is they can do it.
You can be in really good shape and have a really long penis and
still not be able to do this if your proportions are not right
for it. If you aren't in good shape, you best not try it until
you have learned some yoga or gymnastics. Slender, limber,
long-waisted types seem to be more successful at it than
compactly built muscular types.
The most common method is to lay on a bed with your head close to
a wall. Swing your feet up over your head and against the wall,
as if you were doing a backwards somersault. Then start walking
your feet down the wall until you can either take the penis into
your mouth or you simply can't bend any further.
A few guys can achieve the same result simply by bending over,
grabbing the back of their thighs, and pulling. Porn star Scott
O'Hara has a famous picture of him doing it in this position,
sitting on a bar stool. If you are trained in yoga or
gymnastics, you probably can find some other positions that will
work, if any of them will work for you.
Most people who report success with this state that it took them
some time and practice to do it, and that they were able to do it
over a period of time (like several weeks). Try some stretching
exercises to limber up as well.
Hardly anyone who can get some of his own penis in his mouth can
really blow himself. Usually no more than an inch or so of the
penis gets in and there simply is not anything left for motion of
the in-and-out kind. No doubt someone who was very quick on the
trigger or very excited about the whole thing could get off to
it, but it is not giving yourself a blow job and it is really
very painful for many of the guys who can do it to maintain the
position very long. A few guys who can do this, do it just for
show. Others make it an occasional *part* of masturbation.
Apparently that last little strain to get any of it in is
especially painful for some people if they try to maintain it for
a long time, but the somewhat more relaxed position of just
getting it somewhere near the face is easier on many guys.
In this position it is possible to masturbate and ejaculate over
the mouth, and some men like to do this.
(Semen can sting if it gets in the eyes.)
3.2.7 The Squeeze
This method is very painful for some men. If it hurts, don't do
it.
Some men can get their erect penises between their thighs and can
get off by jiggling or squeezing their thighs around their
penises. Other men find it extremely painful to try to push
their erections much lower than perpendicular to the body.
Some find it easier to do this in a face down or a sitting
position. A major consideration for anyone attempting this
technique is to be sure to get the testicles out of harm's way.
A generally less painful, although not universally satisfactory
method, is to insert the penis between well greased forearms.
This is possible in a sitting or half sitting up position or in a
face down position.
Other techniques are discussed in connection with toys.
3.3. Female Techniques
Note: The contributors and compilers of this FAQ have been mostly
men. We mean well, but we probably have not got this all exactly
right. Corrections and additions are welcome.
3.3.1. Old Reliable
The most common form of female masturbation is to use your
fingertips to stroke and caress your clitoris. The clitoris
('clit' for short) is a very sensitive part of the vulva, located
above the vaginal and urethral openings. It may be covered by
skin or partially exposed, and may take a bit of exploration to
locate. How much, and what kind, of stimulation to give it
varies widely from woman to woman. Beginners are encouraged just
to explore and lightly feel the genital area for pleasure spots,
and stroke and caress such spots as you find them. As
you get to know your body better, learning the best way to
stimulate the clitoris will develop over time.
Clitoral stimulation is usually accompanied by stimulation of
other erogenous (or pleasure-producing) zones, such as the
breasts, the thighs, the vaginal lips and interior, and anywhere
else that enjoys being touched or stroked.
3.3.2. The Squeeze
Some women find that they are able to masturbate by squeezing
their thighs together and releasing. The advantage of this is
that it can be done more discretely than by digital manipulation,
and frees up the hands for other things.
3.4.3. The Waterfall
Many woman enjoy the stream-of-water technique, most commonly
done in a bathtub with the tub-faucet running. Set the water to
a stimulating temperature (start out with tepid water if you've
never done it before. A burn in the crotch can ruin your whole
day) and level of force, and then position your vagina so that
the stream of water splashes on it.
3.4.4. Autocunnilingus
WARNING: This is not possible for everyone, and you can injure
yourself trying to do it.
Some women are capable of this. It requires even more ability to
double over to reach the area, because women don't have the
length of the penis working in their favor. If you can cross
your legs behind your head comfortably, you may have a chance of
making tongue to clit contact.
As with the male technique of autofellatio, few will make contact
at all, and most or all of those who do will not really find this
a practical way of getting off. But if you are going down there
anyway, take a small mirror--like a compact--with you and get to
know what your own sex organs look like.
4.0 Toys and things
4.0.1 Non-sexual objects
These can be almost anything, depending on the resourcefulness of
the user. The novel PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT, in the first chapter,
offers a variety of examples, like a milk bottle and a bra. But
use a little more sense than Portnoy and be especially wary of
anything that is very hard, brittle, has sharp edges, or is
likely to develop sharp edges if broken. Also consider what is
inside objects that might work itself out, such as springs and
wires.
Both men and women are cautioned to consider the ramifications of
using a particular item before trying it. For males, don't stick
your penis into anything that it might get stuck in, or anything
that may crimp, cut, or otherwise hurt your penis. Women and men
who use insertive toys should avoid anything that might cut,
puncture, or tear the vaginal walls or rectum, will break (think
carefully about this) or get stuck. Be careful not to introduce
anything that might cause an infection and in particular, never
put a toy that has been in an anus into a vagina without careful
washing and disinfection (and this goes for the fleshy toy
attached to boyfriends and fingers as much as it goes for
inanimate toys).
Basically the first consideration about something you are going
to put in you should be how you are going to get it out. This
goes double for anything in the anus, where there are strong
muscles that may tend to draw objects in. Many vibrators are
made of cheap, breakable, hard plastic and are much too short.
They may break or come apart in middle or, in the case of anal
insertion, simply get lost. Some devices which seem flexible may
contain hidden springs or wires that give the device its shape.
These may poke out of the device and cause serious damage to a
vagina or rectum.
It may seem silly to repeat such obvious advice, but emergency
room records are full of cases of people who did not give even
the least concern to safety in these matters.
Articles of clothing can be stimulating, especially if they have
some significance in one's life. Those who are sexually
attracted to women are likely to find bras, panties, or other
lingerie stimulating. Those who are sexually attracted to men
are likely to find athletic supporters and cups, Speedos, and
briefs stimulating. Some people are sexually excited by
stockings, socks, and shoes of the sex they find attractive.
Some men enjoy masturbating into socks (also noted in PORTNOY'S
COMPLAINT). The longer athlete type sock works well if roll up,
because the rolled part provides a grip on the base of the penis.
Pull it on over the penis and rub. Other articles of clothing,
handkerchiefs, towels, may also work. If cloth directly provides
too much friction, a condom or a plastic bag used as a liner, and
lubricated may help, and also makes clean up easier.
Feathers and brushes often produce pleasant sensations. "Push"
is the word used to describe teddy bears and stuffed animals and
similar goods. Some people find these very satisfactory.
4.0.2. Food
Some people will masturbate with food. All warnings given for
non-sexual objects apply here as well.
Men will generally want something large and fleshy, that can be
hollowed out to make a tube which can accommodate the erect
penis. A cored apple, orange, grapefruit, or melon is often
used. One person suggested cutting off the end of a banana and
hollowing out the inside, leaving the peel intact. Some kind of
tape (like masking tape) should be wound around the banana
several times to add strength and keep the skin from bursting.
Another contributor has suggested pasta packed into an object,
like a coffee can, and hollowed out. Portnoy (again) reports
using liver. Many suggestions of this type suggest microwaving
or otherwise heating the object. Be sure, however, that any such
object is sufficiently cooled. Remember, stuff that seems cool
enough to the finger's touch, may still be too hot if wrapped
around the penis.
Women will generally want fruits or vegetables that are the
dimensions of an erect penis, such as cucumbers, bananas, and
carrots. Note that anything very sugary that may leave a residue
in the vagina will be seen as party time for yeast. Also
carbonated beverages or anything that may introduce gas to the
vagina can be dangerous under certain circumstances. Things that
may break off cannot be recommended for anal use.
4.0.3 Homemade Insertee Devices.
The FAQ for alt.sex.wizards contains (or used to contain)
directions for making a simulacrum (artificial vagina). The
FAQ for a.s.m. used to have an exact copy of that material.
This lengthy and detailed material has been replaced here with
the following general remarks.
Avoid glass or brittle plastic in building anything you intend to
stick your penis into. Ridged parts are required in only one of
the devices described below.
1) Device based on foam rubber.
The idea of these devices is to cut a slit in a fairly large
block of foam rubber. Because the foam rubber will give when
thrust against, the block needs to be a lot longer than the
penis. The raw foam will probably be too rough for most people
to enjoy, so the slit is lined with a long plastic tube. It is
held in place on the business end by attaching it to an O-ring
that is much larger around than the penis and is too large to go
into the slit in the foam rubber.
2) Devices based on leather.
This device is made of a large piece of soft leather that is
finished (smooth) on one side and an elastic bandage. The device
is formed by placing the leather on an object that is cylindrical
and approximately the size of the penis. Two or three
broomsticks put together may be about right. The elastic bandage
(the wider the better) is wrapped around the leather. The
wrapping should not be very tight at all. The device is
completed when removed from the form, although it needs to be
seasoned in the same way as a baseball glove. The device should
be cleaned regularly, but because it cannot be entirely
disinfected it should not be used by more than one person. Also,
it tends to conform to the size of its user over time, and won't
fit anyone else right.
3) Device based on bicycle innertube.
This device requires a section of bicycle innertube,
a large automobile hose clamp, and a piece of PVC pipe that is
bigger around than the penis. One end of the section of bicycle
innertube is stretched to fit over one end of the pipe
and is secured with the hose clamp. The loose end of the
bicycle tube is then poked into the pipe (turned inside out).
This forms a funnel-shaped elastic tube inside the pipe.
One-time versions of this device can be made by stretching the
open end of a condom over a wide-mouthed plastic tumbler and
securing the condom with tape.
4.0.4 Commercial sleeves
All of these have one thing in common. They have a
sleeve into which the penis is inserted. Beyond that, there
are any number of gimmicks and add-ons to make things more
interesting.
One caveat emptor here: Try to get a good look at what you're
buying before you pay. A lot of these things come in boxes that
do not allow you to actually SEE the apparatus. If the store
you're buying it from won't let you open it up and examine it,
you should seriously consider not buying it. If it's good, the
company that made it shouldn't have anything to hide. Most of
these products are extremely over priced for the material and
design work in them. Look for cheaper alternatives.
One of the best sleeves that was ever commercially available was
the Jak-Pack. When inflated with air, it was a long
doughnut-shaped device, and the degree of inflation controlled
the tightness of "hole." But like all such devices, it would
eventually spring a leak, and it was not as cheap as it could be.
Alert shoppers noticed that a kind of swimming aid sold for
children (meant to be fitted around the upper arm and probably
not very effective as life preserver) was almost exactly the same
thing and sold at a fraction of the price.
Another caveat emptor: Be very suspicious of anything that
promises a hands-off, trouble free jerk-off. Most of them will
not deliver, unless you are particularly sensitive to whatever
gimmick is working on you. The real problem is that the human
hand is far more sensitive and stimulating that you might usually
think, and most of these devices just cannot compete.
By the by, look out for plastic seams. Not only will seams tend
to open and make the device useless, but some which are hardly
detectible to the touch of a finger will feel like a razor blade
to the penis.
1) The sleeve
The cheapest devices have smooth sleeves which are easy to clean
but offer very low friction and penile stimulation. Better
sleeves have textured interiors, some with bumps, spines,
rings or ribs, to rub against the penis for added stimulation.
This may be a little to much for many men. Those described as
"flesh like" are fairly clammy and sticky. Curiously, very
smooth surfaces will tend to stick to the penis rather than glide
over it. Satin finishes (very tiny as-if-woven patter) with lube
will feel smoother than shiny, smooth looking surfaces.
Most of these things look more effective than they are.
2) Vibrators
Some sleeves come with vibrators on them, usually one (located at
the top) perhaps a second one located at the bottom (for testicle
stimulation). Vibrators can be fun or they can be an annoyance,
or both. They vibrate, but they tend to do it by a buzzing
sensation that you may or may not enjoy. Generally speaking,
vibrators produce an intense and interesting sensation, but won't
by themselves get most men off. They simply don't have the
length of stroke necessary, and it is not a hands-off experience.
(What's more, many of them vibrate side-to-side.)
3) Pumps
Some sleeves come with pumps--a plastic tube and bulb. You
insert yourself and pump up the sleeve around you for a tighter
fit. This may be a welcome feature, and it gives one a squeezing
sensation, but (as with the vibrators) is probably not going to
be enough just by itself.
4) Warmth features
Some sleeves are made so that they can be warmed up, either by
pouring in warm water into a jacket, or by simply immersing the
device in warm water and letting it heat up. Warmth is a fine
thing in these devices, especially on initial contact, but most
of sleeves will warm to ambient temperature just from being
handled. USE CAUTION: even water that seems tepid flowing over
your wrist will seem very warm in a sleeve surrounding your
penis. Many hot water heaters provide water as hot as 120 F or
hotter, and this certainly can scald the genital area.
5) Facades
It is amazing me how many of these things have a special end that
is made to look special: like a vagina, a mouth, or an anus.
But of course they don't look real at all, you won't be able
to see the painted up end of the device when it is in use, and
the end doesn't do any of the work. Don't be fooled. Look at the
sleeve. If the sleeve is cheap and featureless, then having a
shell that is painted up won't help at all.
6) Vacuums
Some sleeves have pumps that suck the air out (almost always
hand-operated), and usually promise a fellatio effect. Suction
by itself is generally not enough. There are machines that will
use vacuum changes to make a flexible plastic sleeve crawl up and
down an erect penis. This DOES work, but the machines cost
hundreds of dollars and require a custom fitted sleeve to work
properly. You won't find them for $20 or $40 in an adult store.
4.0.5. Dolls
Often called "party" or "love" dolls, these are usually
inflatable balloons that are designed to look like women or men.
Often the only difference between the male and female dolls is
that the male has a little paint on his chest to suggest hair and
comes with a dildo that can be anchored in what is the vaginal
slit of the female dolls. They are made out of latex plastic and
resemble inflatable pool toys. They tend to have a strong latex
smell that will remain with the doll until you wash it (probably
more than once). Some dolls, supposedly are not inflatable--they
are "solid," but evidently such dolls are not common in the trade
because we have no reports on them.
Prices for dolls begin at around $15 to $20 and top off around
$100. Most of them (especially the more expensive models)
come in boxes that give no indication of what the actual doll
looks like. Almost any picture on the box will be a drawing or
photograph of a real woman or man. In fact, most of the dolls
look like cartoons at best. If the doll looking "real" is
important to you, you probably won't find anything satisfactory
on the market. Store manikins are about 100 times more real
looking than the best dolls.
1) The basic doll
Dolls are pretty simple, whether they are cheap or expensive.
Basically they are a plastic, inflatable form with a sleeve
located where the vagina would be (male-dolls have a dildo where
the penis would be). The sleeve is usually the same latex
plastic as the doll skin, shaped into a tube. It offers very
little friction when used with lubricant (and lubricant is a
must), so most people will probably not care for it.
The cheapest female dolls have only one sleeve, located where the
vagina would be. Some dolls come with "french" and/or "greek"
features. French means that it has a sleeve located in the mouth
for simulating fellatio. Greek means that it has a sleeve in the
rear for anal sex. In many male dolls, the dildo can be removed,
and there is a sleeve there because such dolls are basically the
same in male and female versions except for paint and the dildo.
The dolls generally will assume only one position. Most dolls
are modeled so that they are lying down, ready for vaginal sex
using the missionary position. Their knees don't bend so anal
sex would have to be done close to the same way (doggie style is
much more difficult). Fellatio can also be awkward. In addition
some dolls have faces made of a harder plastic and the oral
opening is just not large enough for many penises. Perhaps this
is supposed to simulate a toothy blow job. The dildos on the
male dolls won't assume any useful position.
2) Life-like features
More expensive dolls may have built-up features, such as breasts
and a face. The breasts will vary depending on the quality of
the doll, but good ones will have solid-filled latex breasts with
formed nipples. The face will have built-up lips, a nose, and
eyes. Some dolls comes with wigs, which are either molded on or
can be slipped on.
3) "Action"
Some dolls come with vibrators. Usually it'll be something like
an egg-shaped vibrator with a battery powered control unit. You
insert the egg up the anal sleeve and feel the vibrations in the
vaginal sleeve. How effective this is depends on your sensitivity
to the vibrator action.
4) Talking
Some dolls supposedly talk dirty. Expect this to be a cheap
"chatty Kathy" type device that will be tinny and won't sound
real.
5) Clothes
Some dolls come with clothing--usually lingerie or pantyhose. If
the doll is highly priced for this feature, consider buying the
clothing elsewhere. If you're embarrassed or don't really know
the size, ask a salesperson and say it's for a gift. Lingerie
salespeople are used to men who are embarrassed and don't know
anything about women's clothes. Unless you tell them, they won't
know (nor care) why you are buying the clothes.
6) Weight ratings
Most of the more expensive dolls have a weight rating on the
side, which is how much weight the doll can expect to carry
before it pops. Heavier rated dolls may be more durable, which
can save the trouble of patching them. Anyone who has tried to
keep pool toys in one piece knows that all of them will wear out,
the cheaper ones sooner than the expensive ones, and that
patching will only do so much good.
7) Other
There are a variety of other gimmicks and features. The best
policy is simply to look in the box and see what you get, but
barring that--be skeptical. If a doll promises something
special, ask yourself what it would be that would fulfil the
promise--especially something cheap.
The dolls are a lot of hassle to inflate, store, clean up, and
patch. Most people won't get as much use out of them as they
might think. Although the more expensive models may last longer
and have a few more gimmicks, they are not really that much
better than the cheap model for their purpose. It might be wise
to get a cheap version first. By the time it pops, you'll have a
better idea whether you are really willing to spend the money for
a more expensive version.
4.0.6 Vibrators
Women have long used vibrators for masturbation, but some men
(both straight and gay) are finding uses for them as well.
Vibrators generally come in three basic styles: the first is the
massager, and clamps onto the back of your hand. Women may enjoy
it, but most men will find it unsuitable because it's hard to
stroke the penis with the dead weight of motor on the back of the
hand.
The second style is the wand type--shaped like a tube with a
rounded end, or like a dildo. These are generally lighter, can be
battery powered (no cords to get in the way) and can be inserted.
CAUTION: Dildo-shaped vibrators are usually made of a brittle
plastic that can crack or break. The devices are generally
not suitable for anal insertion or deep vaginal penetration. They
are not generally well secured to their bases and they are short
enough that they may become lost all too easily.
The last kind is hand-held unit with attachments that can be
added onto the end of it.
CAUTION: Any device using line power (that plugs into the wall)
has the potential of being a shock hazard, and all the more so
when used around water, plumbing, or in (or on) moist areas.
Read and observe manufacturers' warnings.
Women may find the buzzing of the vibrator is enjoyable, either
when held against the clitoris or inserted into the vagina or
both. It can also be used to stimulate other parts of the body.
Men may also find the sensations enjoyable--on various places
around the penis, the scrotum, the anus, or anywhere else on the
body. Vibrators with a collection of attachments may be
particularly favored by men, since some have cups on the ends for
the penis head, and attachments that may feel good against other
places. Units sold as massagers sometime really are good for
nonsexual massage, but the battery-powered dildo-shaped devices
are seldom good for this purpose.
Vibrators have a growing acceptance in society, and it is
becoming easier to find them. Sex shops will have the widest
variety, but department stores often stock them as "personal
massagers." If you're embarrassed to be looking at them, don't
be. Vibrators do have non-sexual uses, and many people do use
them for sore muscles as well. But doing double duty is a nice
advantage.
4.0.7 Vacuums
Vacuums are controversial. While they are available on the
market as sex toys, there are numerous complaints and horror
stories of problems that can occur while using them. Extreme
care and caution should be followed when using these devices, and
avoiding them entirely may be for the best.
Vacuums tend to be used by men. There are generally two kinds of
vacuums, powered and non-powered.
The non-powered ones tend to be glass tubes with a gasket on the
end, and a tube coming out the other with a hand pump attached.
The man inserts his penis into the gasketed end and forms a seal,
then uses the hand pump to create suction. These items are
generally sold as penis enlargers, but are often sold as
masturbation devices as well. Whether or not you respond to
suction alone is a matter of personal enjoyment, but most men
need something more. WARNINGS: Almost all of these devices are
made of brittle plastic or glass which may shatter or crack. A
quick-release valve should be considered an essential safety
feature. Use of these devices for long periods of time or with
extreme suction can be dangerous.
No device can permanently increase the size of the penis, but
there have some reports of good results in older men who can no
longer achieve full erections due to impaired circulation.
Powered vacuums have a motor that does the work. Sex shops sell
these--a hand-held vacuum unit with a sleeve on the end. Between
the sleeve and the suction, it becomes a powered masturbation
device. Many men, again, do not find the suction effect to be
particularly enjoyable, and some toss the motor and keep the
sleeve.
Women may enjoy the suction action of a vacuum, by using a
canister vacuum (as opposed to an upright) and using the hose to
direct suction to erogenous zones like the clitoris or nipples.
Caution should be used whenever you use a motor or moving parts
as part of a masturbation device, since if you catch your penis
in the motor, you may end up getting hurt. Small rechargeable
vacuums, like the DUSTBUSTER for instance, have a little fan
attached to the motor, and it can wreak havoc with sensitive
parts.
WARNINGS: Some parts of the body (such as the vagina) probably
should never be exposed to the extreme suction that many
household vacuum cleaners can produce. Any prolonged or extreme
suction to any part of the body is likely to produce tissue
damage.
4.0.8 Dildos
"In Texas, if you own 6 or more dildos, you're a felon. If you
own 5 or
less, you're a hobbyist". -- Molly Ivins
Dildos are sometimes used for masturbation by people of both
sexes. Although penetration is not really necessary for most
women to achieve orgasm, some women like the sensation of
fullness that a dildo provides. Men may have similar reasons for
using dildos, but often the object is provide stimulation to the
prostate which is the source of ejaculation.
Dildos can be bought in a variety of shapes, sizes, lengths and
styles. Some of them resemble penises more than others do. As
the concept of a dildo is fairly simple, the principle
considerations are safety. The same considerations apply to
household objects that might be considered for use as a dildo.
Dildos should be long and have a wide base. The object of this
advice is not to suggest that the full length of the dildo should
be inserted, but to ensure that the dildo can be retrieved. All
ridged, brittle, or breakable materials should be eliminated from
consideration. This goes not only for substances like glass,
wood, or brittle plastic, but also for substances that can
separate, such as bananas or some of the "lifelike" rubber
devices. Some commercial dildos contain metal springs, wires or
other forms. These should be rejected if they can be detected
because of the possibility of the wire or spring coming out of
its soft cover, for if it does it almost certainly will damage
delicate vaginal or anal tissue. Dildos do not have to be
especially large in circumference to produce a pleasantly-full
sensation.
Dildos are fairly poor at providing prostate stimulation because
the prostate is not very deep at all, but it is a bit out of the
way. Some slender devices with a crook in them have a much
better chance of hitting pay dirt.
Dildos should not be shared without careful washing and
disinfection, and dildos used for anal penetration should not be
used for vaginal penetration without disinfection, even if they
are used by only one person.
4.0.9 Lubes
WARNING: Although not a consideration in masturbation, oil-based
lubes will weaken latex condoms and may make them ineffective in
preventing disease transmission or pregnancy.
General considerations:
Lubes are applied to the most sensitive areas of the body. Some
things that do not irritate other parts of the body may burn or
sting or cause allergic reactions when applied to sexual areas.
Often the cause of irritation is perfumes or dyes. Simpler and
cheaper products usually contain few of these. For example, baby
oil is simply perfumed mineral oil. If you don't want the
perfume, get plain mineral oil. Some products which can be used
comfortably will irritate if left on the body for long periods of
time.
1) Known to be condom safe
K-Y Jelly: not so good for masturbation because it tends to
become sticky and ball up if exposed to the air for a long
time.
2) Known to be condom unsafe
Albolene (a facial creme): very good.
Baby Oil: good, may be too light weight for some.
Corn Husker's Lotion: good. Good also if hands are calloused.
Cheap. Does not have as many perfumes an additives as some
hand/body lotions.
Lubriderm Lotion: expensive. Has some additives that may
irritate.
Men's Cream: adult product, made for jacking off
Mineral Oil (same as Baby Oil but without perfume)
Vaseline Petroleum Jelly: good, but hard to wash off.
Spit: although water-based, may contain enzymes that harm latex.
Always available. Dries out, requires reapplication. Not slick
enough for some people.
3) Not known
hair gel (like Dippety Doo): like K-Y, may dry out, may contain
irritating additives. Nice consistency. Works well with
insertee toy.
4.0.10 Jack-off Machines
There have been several fairly expensive machines that really
will masturbate men (and with some attachments, women). One of
the first of these was the Accu-Jac. Most such machines are
expensive because they are more or less custom made. The
currently popular one is the Venus II.
All of them pretty much work on the same principle. There is a
control box which contains a pump and various controls for
adjusting the pump, a plastic tube, and a more-or-less flexible
plastic cylinder. In some machines the cylinder has to be
carefully fitted to size of the user's penis; in others, a liner
allows use of cylinders which are one of several standard sizes.
The pump does not just suck. It draws air out of the cylinder
and then returns air to the cylinder. This cause the cylinder to
move up and down on the penis. There are controls to adjust the
length of stroke and the frequency of stroke.
Some machines come with attachment to fit in the cylinders which
are essentially little dildos that can be made to poke in and out
from the end of the cylinders. These come in sizes appropriate
for vaginal or anal use. Some machines can accommodate four
tubes, with or without separate controls, allowing four people to
use the machine at once or two people to use two tubes each at
once (i.e. for penile and anal, or vaginal and anal stimulation
at the same time).
These machines usually get good reviews from users of the penile
stimulation aspects, and less good reviews from users of the
other features. The sensation of the penile stimulation is
described as: "The feeling is like being jerked off by someone
wearing a Vaseline-coated latex glove, except the machine is
adjustable to 'stroke' at between one stroke every 2 seconds
(very teasing but not enough to cause orgasm) to about 75 strokes
per second (faster than anyone can move a hand). At the maximum
speed, if causes me to cum in about 1 minute whether I was
'horny' or not when starting. In fact, it literally forces me to
cum. At about 10 per second, I can hold back for about 10
minutes. It was worth the investment." (About the Venus II.)
5.0 Humor
5.1 Words and Phrases for Masturbation
There are many expressions for masturbation. Most of the
following are meant to be humorous unless otherwise noted.
[basic list contributed by "eric"]
STANDARD TERMS:
1 MASTURBATING
2 Onanism (A biblical term)
3 Playing with your penis
4 Playing with yourself
5 Beating your meat
6 Beating off
7 Jacking off
8 Jerking off
9 Stroking or stroking it
10 Stroking your cock
11 Stroking your meat
12 Getting a hand job
13 Whacking off
14 Shooting off
15 Wanking or Wanking off (Mainly a British term)
16 Getting your gun (Military term?)
17 Frigging
18 Friggin' your riggin'
19 Fucking your fist or fist fucking
OTHER PURE VERB FORMS
20 Pulling your pud
21 Pounding your pud
22 Pulling your putz (Yiddish term)
23 Flipping off
24 Rubbing the wad
24 Smacking off
25 Jerking rod
26 Firing your peter
27 Spike your cock
28 Pop your peter
Doing Things--Animal Metaphors
29. Milking the mouse
30. Sperming the worm
31. Loping your mule (A southernism)
32. Milking the bull (Another southernism)
33. Riding the bull
34. Whipping your turkey
35. Slapping the monkey
36 Stroking the muskrat
37 Chocking your chicken
38 Charming the snake
39 Making the hooded cobra spit
40 Strangling the goose
41 Making the rooster crow
42 Shaking the snake
43 Skinning the lizzard
44 Ride the dolphin
DOING THINGS--VEGETABLE METAPHORS
45 Popping your nuts
46 Pealing the banana
46 Rubbin' the nubbin
48 Juicing the plum (Very descriptive, I think)
49 Jerkin' your gerkin
50 Spiggin' the twig
51 Sap your woody
52 Juicing a woody
53 Spanking the stick
54 Shelling the bean pod
55 Skinning the onion
56 Slicking the slippery stick
57 Slicking your stick
58 Peeling the wand
59 Slicking the willow twig
60 Popping your cork
DOING THINGS--MINERAL METAPHORS
61 Pumping a gusher (Obviously from the Texas oil fields)
62 Panning for white gold (From California?)
63 Getting your rocks off
DOING THINGS--MUSICAL
64 Playing your flute
65 Tootling your flute
66 Pounding the pipes
67 Playing a tune on the pork flute
68 Ringing your dong
69 Playing the skinflute
70 Organ solo (or duet?)
MEAT AND BONE
-- Beating your meat (Not counted--repeat from standard)
71 Skinning the weenie
72 Bone it off
73 Bopping the baloney
74 Bouncing your boner
75 Slapping your boner
76 Boffing your boner
77 Slapping the salami
JUICE & CREAM
78 Jazzing your juicer
79 Creaming your cock
80 Pumping up ball juice
81 Churning man cream
82 Letting loose the juice
83 Milk your dick
84 Making prick juice
85 Milking your doodle
86 Cruising for an oozing
87 Pumping the juice handle
EXERCISE & GAMES
88 Rubbin' the rigid rod
89 Playing pocket pool
90 Four fingered shuffle (as opposed to 2 fingered shuffle;
female)
91 Five fingered shuffle or (There seems to be some
92 Five fingered exercise disagreement as to the number
of fingers used--but everybody
has his own technique)
93 Pumping the muscle
94 Stiffening your noodle
95 Hand to gland combat (I also like this new term!)
96 Blasting a pocket rocket
97 Tickle your dick
THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE
98 Irking the dude--Recently sent to me--I really like it
99 Flogging the bishop
100 Pleasing the pope
101 Spanking Elvis
102 Making out with yourself
103 Punishing your clown
104 Having a date with Rosy and her 4 sisters
105 An outing with Tom Thumb and his four brothers
WORK? (Nice Work If You Can Get It)
106 Lubing the tube
107 Sowing your seed
108 Trimming your wick
109 Polishing your knob
110 Pumping the piston
111 Pumping the magic Jerkins' lotion handle
112 Popping a wad by hand
113 Cumming by hand
OTHER
114 Jerking your joy stock
115 Jazzing your joy stick
116 Jacking your joy stick
117 Juicing your joy stick
118 Wet dream on demand
119 Having the urge for a surge
120 Cum in the air
121 Go to Bangkok or Come from Bangkok
122 There is also ABUSING YOURSELF--I've never understood
why it's called that, since everybody does it and enjoys
it so much.
5.0.2 Why Masturbation is So Popular
[attributed to "eric"]
1. It is so easy to do--no special skills need to be taught,
despite the argument of Dr. Elders.
(Reference is a Surgeon General of the US appointed in the
Clinton administration, who was dismissed after stating publicly
that children should be taught ABOUT masturbation, which was
alleged to mean children should be taught TO masturbate.)
2. No special equipment is needed, although a lotion, KY
jelly, a leather thong, or steel cock ring can enhance
the pleasure.
3. It can be done anywhere that is private or semi-private-
Sometimes the risk of being discovered heightens the
excitement.
4. It doesn't take a large amount of your time to whack
off--unlike improving your mind or building impressive
biceps.
5. Any number can play--All alone, several guys fooling
around in a circle jerk, a JO club, or with one
special buddy.
6. It can be done very quietly--just an intake of breath at
the crucial moment--or fortissimo--"I'm cumming, I'M
CUMMING, OH GOD I'M CUUUUMMMMMIIINNNGGG!" rendered in
tenor or baritone, but if rendered jointly by tenor
and baritone becomes positively antiphonal.
7. In its simplest form (alone), you can be completely
selfish and not worry about the emotional or physical
needs of anyone else. (Was it good for you too, Dear?)
8. There is no financial cost involved--masturbation, like
butterflies, is free.
9. It doesn't ruin your liver like alcohol or run your lungs
like tobacco.
10. It's safe--you don't get VD or AIDS.
11. It isn't fattening--All that fist action must burn some
calories.
12. It is relaxing after a long tension filled day.
13. It isn't against the law--Some acts may still be
prohibited by consenting adults, but there has never
been a law against the simple jerk-off. (Has there?)
14. It isn't even immoral. (Those fundamentalist who think
it is immoral do it anyway and lie about it, which
makes it OK.)
15. The building up and then the intense burst of pleasure is
a tremendous psychological high without drugs.
16. It doesn't produce unwanted children, thus contributing
to the elimination of child abuse.
6.0 Jack/Jacks & Jills Clubs
6.0.1 Commercial Clubs
There are commercial jack-off clubs. All of these that are known
are for men only. They differ from bathhouses in that they
strictly disallow anything except manual contact. There is no
point in trying to list any of them because they blip into and
out of existence so fast. Since only manual sex is allowed,
these clubs can exist in virtually any warehouse--cleanup
requires only a few paper towels and not a large shower facility.
Consult the gay barrag in very large cities to learn where they
are, or ask any bartender in a gay bar.
A few commercial sex clubs for men and women have existed, and
perhaps some still exist. None that restrict activities to
manual sex are known.
6.0.2 Large Organizations--Public Events
In major cities there are Jacks clubs and some Jack & Jill clubs
which sometimes do hold events that members of the public may
attend. These are like raves--generally you learn about them
from flyers or word of mouth only at the last moment. Often
these are benefits or fund-raisers and some admission fee is
charged.
6.0.3 Smaller Organizations--Private parties
In smaller cities there are many Jacks and Jacks & Jills clubs.
They usually find new members with discreet little ads that give
a P.O. Box or phone number that goes to voice mail for more
information. Legitimate organizations will not charge anything
to give you information or to allow you to apply for membership.
But like all clubs, there will be modest dues or modest door
charges to cover expenses. Jack & Jill clubs tend to overlap in
membership with swingers' clubs, but they are not the same thing.
6.0.4 How to organize parties.
1. Start small. Parties organized electronically tend not to
happen. Many people post that they will show up, about four do,
and nothing happens because these four don't know each other.
They sit around nervously waiting for others to arrive, they stay
fully dressed, nothing happens, they all go home.
So do not rely on mass posting or count on a hundred guests. Aim
for a small number at first, perhaps six or a dozen. You need a
core group of dedicated people who are determined to make it
happen. Although you may try to get to know one another through
email, it is a good idea to meet in person before the party,
perhaps in a public place like a restaurant or bar.
There should be a basic agreement on the ground rules. The
foremost of these is that for a "Jacks and Jills" party
admission must be by opposite-sex pairs only. This does not mean
that the pair is couple, and in fact it is desirable that they
not consider themselves a couple at the party. But unless
something is done to assure men and women attend in
equal numbers, the number of stag males will far exceed the
number of females and this will intimidate the females.
2. How the party works:
Have a small entry area where people can enter fully dressed, a
disrobing area, and an area where clothing is not allowed, no
exceptions.
The entry area should not have any amenities--no place to sit, no
entertainment, no refreshment. People in the entry area should
not be able to see the other areas. It is simply so people can
come in from the street fully dressed. Everyone should be
encouraged to proceed to the disrobing area immediately, and
loiterers should be ask to leave. The greeter should have a robe
handy so he or she can let people in.
Don't tell people who or how many people are in the nude
area--they have to disrobe and go back there if they want to find
out.
The disrobing area should have some provision for people to keep
their things together, such as large paper bags that can be
stapled shut. Some consideration should be given to security.
Unfortunately unpleasant things can happen even in small parties.
People should be discouraged from bringing or wearing anything
valuable. People should not have access to other people's things
in the disrobing area, but the marked bags or other containers
should be removed to a locked closet or other secure area
by the greeter.
The no clothing area should be one large room with access to a
bathroom. In smaller homes this might have to be several smaller
rooms. The ideal is everyone plays together in the same room and
this should be followed as much as possible. If it is necessary
to use two rooms, one should be open and sparsely furnished so
that a many people as possible can join the activities there, and
the other should have the refreshments and seating for those who
are taking a temporary break from the action. It may be
desirable not to open the "break room" until things get going
in the activity room, otherwise people may hide out in the break
room and not get involved in the activities.
Have refreshments and diversions--such as video and music--in the
nude area so if nothing is happening at the moment people will be
inclined to hang around awhile. Most people are most comfortable
in the nude areas if the lighting is not very bright, but people
should be able to see across the whole area without straining.
Provide plenty of paper towels and wastebaskets, and various
lubes.
There are some rules which might as well be written in the
disrobing area if you expect many inexperienced attendees:
essentially these are very simple: anyone may watch anything that
is going on (yes, this means *gasp* that someone ugly might look
at your beautiful body) but any contact must cease immediately if
one party requests that it stop and contact may not be
reestablished unless the person who requested that it stop
*explicitly* reinitiates it, absolutely no oral-genital,
oral-anal, genital-anal, genital-genital contact -- usually this
means no kissing below the waist--sometimes stated as hands only
below the waist. Some clubs are strictly show only, allowing no
contact at all.
It is best to have three or four key people who have some
experience, or at least have a great deal of commitment who will
act as icebreakers to initiate the activities, perhaps with a
show. Once a group is established there will be "old hands" to
take the lead, but this can be a fairly daunting task when
everyone is a first-timer.
Pairing off and cruising should be discouraged. There are plenty
of other places for that. Some clubs find it especially
liberating to include people of various types, ages, and
backgrounds. Others prefer to be very selective. Open type
clubs run the risk of overly-aggressive less-attractive
types running off more-attractive members. Closed type clubs run
the risk of becoming vain, posing contests. In either case, it
is essential that core members exert leadership to maintain a
warm friendly atmosphere, to redirect overly aggressive behaviors
and to encourage the aloof to lighten up.