1 - Masturbation
2 - Techniques of Masturbation
3 - Techniques of Masturbation with Another
4 - Related Masturbation Tecniques
5 - The History of Fellatio
6 - Basic Fellatio Techniques
7 - Fellatio Tecniques to Explore
8 - Body Positions during Fellatio
9 - Anal Intercourse
10 - Anal Intercourse Techniques
11 - Anal Intercourse Fears of Being Entered
12 - Anal Intercourse Performance Fears
13 - Postillioning
14 - Fist Fucking
15 - Rimming
16 - Group Sex, S&M, and other scenes
1
MASTURBATION
This file is about ways of sexual pleasuring with yourself and with
others, that use the hands and penis. This is masturbation (jacking
off), always popular, and surprisingly varied in the world of
nature and humanity.
Captive apes and monkeys, as well as other animals, have been seen
fondling their penis with hand or foot (or even taken into the
mouth). In one study, young male chimpanzees were noticed handling
each other's penis. Other limbs can be used to, such as with
free-living spider monkeys and baboons, who use their tails. And
elephants sometimes employ their trunks.
A curious scientist watches a porcupine:
His excitement was evidenced by...holding a long stick in his fore
paws and straddling it as a child does a broom-stick. The stick
was held so that his genitals were stimulated by the contact, and
the wood soon accumulated odor from the urine and glandular
secretions absorbed. In consequence, it was a natural source of
sexual stimulation.
Dolphins can be seen rubbing their erect penis against the tank
floor, and one individual had the habit of holding his in the jet
of the water intake. In addition, larger males will attempt
masturbation against the flanks of smaller ones. Perhaps the most
unusual way of masturbating is found among red deer:
This act is accomplished by lowering the head and gently drawing
the tips (of the antlers) to and fro through the herbage. Erection
and extrusion of the penis from the sheath follows in five to
seven seconds...Ejaculation follows about five seconds after.
Masturbation has always been common among humans. In some ancient
western cultures, it was connected with religious worship. For
example, in Egyptian mythology the god Orisis "creates all living
creatures by an infinite act of masturbation." This was also seen
as the source of the Nile river, and the cause of its annual
flooding, which was the backbone of life in Egypt. The ritual
developed of pharaohs masturbating before the god's image a the
time of their enthronement. This led to public masturbation during
religious worship, "to expel evil and honor the gods of
generation," and became a part of an ancient Egyptian, and also
Phoenician, Babylonian and Assyrian, sacred ceremonies.
Masturbation was also don for its own sake, without any sacred
meanings; the Bible gives us several instances of this )the
"spilling of seed").
The Greeks and Romans thought masturbation was invented by the god
Hermes (Mercury in Latin). The Greeks called it thrypsis, "the
rubbing," and in Latin it was masturatus. People doubtless
masturbated together at times, as well as doing it by themselves,
in these ancient cultures, even though we have no records of this.
The ancients were generally very relaxed about male sexual
expression. However jacking-off was later frowned upon thoroughly
by the Christian Church.
In the middle and far east, attitudes toward jacking-off have not
changed from ancient times. In most eastern cultured, Arabian,
Indian, Chinese, and Japanese, masturbation was allowed at an
early age, and at times even encouraged. For example, Ibn Kemal
Pasha, in On the Lengthening and Thickening of the Rod quotes old
Arabian doctors in saying that "rubbing and constant handling both
make the virile member longer and thicker." Masturbation was
sometimes used on babies to quiet their crying and Bernard Stern
noted that in Arabia it (jacking-off) "has become almost the
custom of the land." Two scholars noted that Muslim and Jewish boys
who actively and exclusively engaged in solitary and/or mutual
masturbation, did so on the average of three to five times per
week during the ages of eleven and eighteen.
In Arabian slang the act was known as jeng, jelq, jerk, and musht-
zeni, jerking, flipping, juggling and fist-beating respectively,
referring to the different techniques. In Turkey it was called
istimney-bilyet ("the practice of self-control of the stalk"),
while in Persia it was called maulish-e-zubb ("shampooing the
cord"). Masturbation was especially popular in public baths, where
you and/or a friend, or a masseur and/or a prostitute, could
engage you in the practice, "Mutual or one-sided, as desired."
Some ribald poetry survives, such as two lines from "The Fabulous
Feats of the Futtering Freebooters:" "Felah and Negro did jerk off
his yard/For all of a week; hashish kept it up hard." And from the
Persian poet Abu Nuwas:
. Are not this child's eyes all fire?
. O Desire,
. Feel the flush of the eggs
. Between his legs!
. Dearest, seize what you can seize,
. If you please;
. Fill your boyish fist with me
. And then see
. Will it go a little way,
. Just in play?
In India, masturbation has a long history, going back to ancient
Hindu mythology, In one story, Lord Shiva was "masturbated by
Agnee the Fire-lord who, bearing his precious semen across the
Ganges, accidentally dropped it and witnessed the miraculous birth
of Kartikeh (or Koomareh) the misogynist war-god." Krishna, as god
of Self-Contemplation, became the symbol of jacking-off and "the
favorite Hindoo youth. His practice, hautrus (manual orgasm)...was
deified as ritualistic." It was also called panimathana ("hand
churning") and "was relished extensively."
In China, Dr. Jacobus reports, young men would get together to
smoke opium, and then "abuse their generative organs for hours at
a time in a frenzy of mutual masturbation and anal copulation."
Along the same lines, one report explains that the Cossacks, who
lived on the middle Asian plains were more excited by self and
mutual masturbation than in sex with women, "having from infancy
identified sexual pleasure with masturbation alone."
Among other cultures, masturbation was often allowed or encouraged.
Of special of interest are cultures allowing the act to be shared
between males. These include the Hopi in Arizona, Wogeno in
Oceania, and Dahomeans and Namu of Africa. In certain Melanesian
communities this was expected between boys, and between boys and
married men, although no other king of gay male sex was allowed.
In the Cubeo tribe of the Amazon mutual masturbation was "semi-
Public." Among the Tikopia of the South Pacific, men masturbated
themselves as other men watched.
2
TECHNIQUES OF MASTURBATION BY YOURSELF
Masturbation is a joy. I am thoroughly convinced that God gave
people hands with fingers so that we could stroke ourselves in
pleasure and comfort. Those men who've not discovered the
satisfaction of jacking off, are definitely missing something.
There is only one problem I can think of in masturbating, that
someone would thing it was a bad thing to do, would feel guilty
during and after, or worse yet wouldn't do it altogether. The
suppression of pleasurable masturbation is one of the great ills
of our society, for masturbation is one of the basic functions of
existence; those who deny or ignore it do so at the risk of
increasing their own sense of frustration and grimness in the
world.
Jacking off, besides feeling good serves many useful purposes. It
can be relaxing, reassuring, energizing, encouraging, spontaneous
and charming. You can do it quick, slow, with hands, pillows,
melons and showers, in a bathroom, behind a bush or on the bus,
dry or with oils, while listening to music, looking at pictures,
or imagining. It is an anywhere, anytime convenience. And don't be
afraid to indulge. When your body's had enough, it'll say so.
One main trouble in masturbating is to not be embarrassed. You
could get caught! The best ways to overcome this inconvenience are
to make sure you'll have privacy, learn to do it quick, and/or
learn to do it in public without being found out. All of these are
quite possible.
I remember once I was at a picnic, and I was standing in a crowd.
It was so hot that many people had taken off their shoes and
shirts. Then I saw across from me such a beautiful boy that I
almost had to leave, I got so excited. Luckily, I was wearing my
old baggy navy pants, and the pockets were worn through. I slung
my coat over my right shoulder to hide my arm, and plunged my hand
down my pocket, walking into the crowd as close as I could get. I
had a great time, and I'm sure that not one of the hundreds of
people around me guessed a thing about it! (Note: for tricks of
this sort, wear tight-fitting underpants to catch the come, or
learn to hold your ejaculation inside when you come, so you don't
make a sticky mess.)
Mechanically speaking, masturbation for males is friction against
the fraenum, or "whang-string," a small, string-like portion of
the penis just under the glans or "head" at the backside. The
fraenum has the highest concentration of sexsensual nerve endings
in the body. Many actions can stimulate this area; an object can
rub against the penis, the penis can move against something, or no
motion can happen at all. This last might easily happen, since
fantasy and mind stimulation play such a big role; wet dreams are
a good example of this. I have a friend who sometimes comes to
orgasm while meditating, after his yoga practice.
Although I'll restrict myself here to "jacking-off", using the
hand, be aware that with a little imagination and creativity other
ways can be found. There are many things you can discover about
yourself with your hands. The hands are very sensitive to touch,
and the penis is even more so.
Every person develops their own way of jacking off. If you've ever
had others do it to you, you discover that usually they can't make
the feelings quite as good as you can yourself. That's because
they're probably using their style on you, which fits for them but
isn't yours. Style involves such things as how the fingers hold
the penis which fingers are used, how tight they are, how hard
they press, how much movement, use of the foreskin and how much
sensitivity towards drawing out the feelings. All these are
important.
Some people like to wrap the whole hand around their penis and
slide it all the way up and down in long, luxurious strokes, using
oils or a flexible foreskin, Others like to place the thumb and
two fingers around the corona (that part of the penis just below
the glans), with one finger over the fraenum, and pump in short,
quick movements with the skin.
There is room for exploration and creativity in masturbation.
Fantasy plays a big part, and in your mind you can be loving
someone else or yourself. You can imagine your last sexual act, or
an erotic fantasy, or looking at pictures or a story. Fantasies
are especially intriguing; they are the images and events of your
inner and secret wishes. Even if they seem strange or something
you wouldn't want anyone to find out about that's OK who's going
to know if you don't tell?
Loving yourself through masturbation means caressing your own body,
holding it, making love to you, appreciating you/your experience as
hand and penis, body and mind. it's unique.
A MASTURBATION FANTASY
Let me take you on a fantasy; You'll need privacy and quiet, some
enjoyable music (something warm and not too loud), candles and oil
(olive oil, safflower oil, massage or love oil, baby/mineral oil,
Vaseline, KY or any clean lubricating substance are all good).
It's night time outside. First, light clothes and, lying down on
the bed, close your eyes. Take a deep, relaxing breath. Imagine
that you are a stranger meeting your body, that it's new to you,
that you're touching it for the first time. Start at the top of
your head, and explore yourself with your hands, as sensations
you've never felt before. Feel your hair, the shape of your head,
then your face, your ears. Glide your fingers over each part,
trying to feel the shape, the texture, as if you'd never felt them
before. Notice the softness of you eyelids, the sensitivity of
your lips. Then caress your throat, your shoulders and chest. Find
a nipple, and flick a fingertip over and around it, feeling it
grow hard and excited. Glide your palms over your stomach,
pressing down on your soft middle. Trace designs around your nave.
Slowly let your hands press lower. Discover how your pubic hair
begins; how does it feel: Seek out the lines where you legs join
your stomach. Trace the line with your fingertip down onto the
groove between leg and crotch, until you brush your testicles.
Press your soft warm hands onto the insides of your thighs. Stroke
your thighs, feeling their sensitivity, their shape, their
thickness. Brush the hair lightly. Then discover ho your ass ends
underneath. then glide up under your testicles, tracing a ring
around them. Hold them warmly in your hand, feeling each, then
press them gently against your body. Now discover the shape of
your penis with one fingertip. Trace a line around the base, then
up the side to the top. Lightly brush the side, the fraenum, the
glans and tip. Wrap one hand carefully around the whole penis, and
squeeze gently. Pull on it a little, then let it go. Find the
fraenum with your fingertip, and press there (You may have to pull
down your foreskin). Discover the most sensitive point, and brush
your fingertip rapidly just over that point. Press you finger
there again and massage the point gently and firmly. Then wrap
your hand around your penis and move it up and down.
Now put some oil in the cup of your hand, and caress your penis all
over, rubbing and massaging the oil evenly. Cradle your testicles
in one hand, and wrap the other around your penis. Slide you hand
up and down all the way, feeling the sensations. Explore until you
develop a pleasing rhythm, and sink into the warmth and pleasure.
Go deeper and warmer, letting the feelings grow stronger and
spread. If you want to increase sensation to stretch your
foreskin, hold down the base of you penis with thumb and
forefinger of the other hand, pulling the skin tight. Keep stroking
yourself, pausing if you like to explore somewhere else. Your
sensations will become stronger in a growing cycle of tension and
relaxation. Discover your pattern and try to draw it out. Explore
the way(s) to climax, fast or slow, with long or short strokes,
pumping fast and rough, or gentle and calming until your heat
rises pouring out of you. Let yourself go, flow into it. Them
relax. Relax deeply, doing nothing, emptying your mind and body.
Peacefulness.
This fantasy can be done just as well in the tub or shower, using
soap instead of oil. An interesting variation is to do it in front
of a mirror. You can watch yourself, you hands and body, in new
ways.
An exciting addition to masturbation can be using a finger to
caress your ass (called postillioning). While masturbating, simply
grease a finger (don't use soap) and press it at your anus-
opening, pushing firmly and gently to slide inside. You'll have to
discover how best to place your body to that reaching is easy; I
suggest bending your knees and bringing your feet to your rear,
while lying on your back, of even stretching your feet over your
head. You can also do this standing up.
Masturbation is an act of wholeness, of self creation and renewal,
whether it's a five-minute quickie or a half-hour journey. You can
become more you, more together and centered through deep and
satisfying masturbation. The moment of climax is a moment of
infinity, and under your control. Also, be aware of the
limitations of masturbation, the things it can't get you, like
another person's touching and love. Admitting your needs is the
first step to satisfying them.
Surprisingly enough, masturbation, body image, and other kinds of
sex are all related. If you like and enjoy your body, it will show
in your masturbation. Poor opinion of your body is a good thing to
recognize and deal with. Just be aware; tune in on yourself; let
yourself be and then do what needs to be done. Once you sense a
problem here, it's good to talk it over with a friend or
counselor.
A sense of relaxation and intimacy with your body is akin to being
intimate with another, and he with you. If you don't want to be
sensual with your own crotch, how can you keep this from carrying
over? Be aware of yourself as the source of all your experiences,
ideas and feelings.
Also, masturbation is a favorite shared experience. Whether you're
jacking yourself off while he watches, or you him, or using
masturbation during fellatio (sucking) or anal intercourse
(fucking), it's a basic experience and action. Throughout this
book, masturbation will be mentioned again and again as a
pleasurable activity with other actions or by itself. It serves as
a good foundation for any kind of sexual and/or intimate sharing,
with others and with yourself.
It's good to respect jacking-off and be relaxed about it. Many
people find it their favorite sexual activity, either alone or
with others, but don't want to admit the fact for being thought
unsophisticated or immature. That's nonsense-no one is immature
for liking to jack off, or to prefer it over fucking. Masturbation
is entirely pleasurable and wholesome. Only boredom, unhappiness,
hard work and on are dull things in bed. If you like to jack off
by yourself enjoy it. If you like to masturbate with your
friend(s), good for you. Make sure you let him know this, and take
into account his desires too.
I remember once when I was with someone I thought "sophisticated,"
and i thought I should be sucking and fucking, because it was the
"sophisticated" thing to do. But surprise of surprises when he
blurted out to me he really wanted to masturbate himself while I
cuddled his balls; he was even embarrassed about it! So I gave him
a big hug, and we wound up having a fine time together. He was a
beautiful man.
3
MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES WITH ANOTHER
One of the most intimate an joyful experiences to share is mutual
masturbation. Lying with a friend, allowing yourself to be caressed
and stroked, he trusting you. openly, your hand holding his
testicles-you both masturbating yourself with his hand on your
thigh-there's a lot of meaning and experience here!
This is more than just a way to release sexual tension; it's being
and sharing, and maybe growing as well. All these are open for you
to explore, of you feel calm with him, save about yourself and your
desires.
If you feel rushed, slow down and see what happens. It is possible
to really savor the feel of his penis in your hand, it's touch and
thickness, firmness and warmth. Remember the masturbation fantasy
in the first section? Well, it's just as much fun to give it to
someone else, as to do it yourself. And you may learn quite a bit,
by seeing how another is similar and different to you. In the shape
and feel of his body, in the way he's aroused and climaxes, in his
sexual style.
Earlier on I spoke of people developing their individual way of
masturbating. You'll be surprised how much variety there is. Talk
with him, and find out how he likes you hand, if he'd rather you
held him differently, and so on. There's much to share, if you want
to open up.
Mutual masturbation can be close and wet, hot and fast, or it can
be much different, slow and relaxed for example. it's all a matter
of opening up to how you are at that moment, what you want and
need, Maybe you're scared, and just want to be held. Or perhaps
you're tired and would like him to jack you off casually. Or maybe
you really want to abandon yourself in love-making.
If you are uptight about masturbating, jacking-off while he watches
can be great therapy. Many of us tend to feel guilty about
masturbation, from having to hide it when we were younger. With
him, you can be open, and lose your fear to the light. And many of
us are also guilty about receiving pleasure- we feel we always
have to reciprocate, to give it back immediately. Try just lying
back sometimes and not doing a thing, and let him do everything;
just relax, just receive.
There are lots of other things you can do with masturbation. You
can massage his body all over. Each of you can masturbate himself
while you hold the other's testicles -some friends told me the had
highly spiritual/loving experiences during this. Also it can be a
lot of fun not taking your clothes off, as if you'd just met and
grabbed each other on the street, or with your underpants still on
(jockey shorts really turn me on). Another treat can be taking a
shower together, standing under the spigot masturbating each other
with plenty of soap. If you both like, you can massage his ass at
the same time. Since body tension can affect intensity of climax,
you can try different positions while being masturbated; sitting
up, crouching over him, or hanging from the ceiling for example.
You can fondle each other without climaxing. or without even
getting hard. this can be specially delightful and warm, as the
caring/trust/sharing comes more to the fore. You can even have a
lot of fun in public, seeing if you can fondle each other on the
bus or in a restaurant without anyone knowing.
There's almost always a free hand available, and it doesn't take
much energy. At times your arm might get a little tired; if this
happens, relax for a while. Masturbating someone else is different
than with yourself, because you aren't directly experiencing; you
must relay on him to let you know how it's going, and this may not
be clear. With yourself, it's simple to know when to speed up and
when to slow down to stop.
Discovering how to do this with someone else can be a fun
exploration. Ask him how he's doing. I've had times where the
person wasn't holding me right-his thumb wasn't quite in the right
place, and when I came it wasn't quite as good. It's OK not to be
the perfect sex partner, or have the perfect time. But don't be
afraid to complain, too. If you're jerking him off, stop when you
like, except if he's just before climax (coming). If you stop too
close to ejaculation, the process will continue anyway but the
experience might be second-rate. Other than this, I'd be pretty
loose about it and see what happens. Try experimenting with
different strokes and hand grips with and without oil. Cradling
his balls in the other hand and kissing him, all at the same time,
can be especially nice.
Learning to communicate sensations, wants, and needs is always an
important part of being with someone. It comes with experience and
relaxation. Remember that he can't read your mind, be directly
aware of your experiences, nor you with him. There is the space
between you to cross over. How you do it is up to you: words,
questions, grunts, moaning; don't just assume he knows what's
going on, or that you should know how he's doing without his
telling you-some people are rather quiet and might not say
anything. When in doubt, you can always ask and better to ask then
be fearful of relaxing your arm for moment.
Some question may come up about simultaneous orgasms, coming at the
same time. "Should we or shouldn't we?" My opinion is, it's nice
if it happens and nice if it doesn't. It's not always easy to know
when someone's going to climax, and it can be harder still to
coordinate two climaxes. Why let work take away from pleasure?
It's good to experiment with this and see what's most
satisfactory; for some couples it's easier than for others. The
best thing is usually to be loose about it, preferring spontaneity
over planning, and feeling over thinking. But by all means, if you
indulge in pleasure it's hard not to have a good time.
4
RELATED MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES
I would like to mention some related ways to get off. These are
body rubbing, interfemoral intercourse, armpit/knee intercourse,
and moving on the perineum.
Body rubbing (also known as the "Princeton rub") is a common
activity, and some people find it their favorite. It's a kind of
masturbation with another, except no hands are used. You are lying
together, moving with and on each other, usually side by side or
above/below. This usually done "dry," that is without lubrication,
but oiling large parts of your bodies and then slipping'n sliding
can also be lots of fun (and messy). Not everyone likes this kind
of sex; some people find their penis just gets chafed and numb
from body hair and skin. If you get into it, one or both of you
can move at a time, up and down, wriggling about and/or thrusting
with the pelvis (tipping the pelvis up and back to move the penis).
A related activity is called interfemoral intercourse, "the Oxford
style." Here one of you lies on your back, with your thighs held
tight together. Then your friend lies on top of you, and either
dry or greasing his penis and the insides of your thighs, inserts
his penis between your legs just below your crotch. He then
thrusts his penis in and out. To some people this may seem like a
strange activity, but to others (and in some cultures) it's quite
common.
Interfemoral intercourse can also be done from behind, with one of
you lying on your stomach. This leads us to another related
method, which is thrusting between your friend's buttocks, without
entering his anus. A lubricant can also be used here. Again, some
people enjoy this way, and it has had it's place in other cultures
(the ancient Greeks, for example, called it pygisma, "buttockry").
Armpit/Knee Intercourse: If you make a tight, firm place by holding
your arm at your side or your knee bent, he can insert his penis
(lubricated if necessary) at the joint and slide in an out by
moving his body. He can even climax this say.
Another way is moving on the perineum, the space between the
testicles and anus, where the legs meet. This is a very tender
area, and when lubricated feels nice to the penis. One of you lied
on your back, bringing your knees to your chest. The other, then
lies down between his friend's legs facing him, with his penis
resting at the perineum. Body motions and thrusting will create
pleasurable sensations, and kissing is quite easy.
5
THE HISTORY OF FELLATIO
The delights of fellatio were probably savored even in the dawn of
civilization. Maybe the early Middle Easterners learned it "in the
most natural manner: by observing nature," that is, by watching
domesticated and wild animals licking each other's genitals-
"Thus, from natural observation, investigation, and
experimentation, emerge the arts of love." As the Old Testament so
often reminds us, the Jews were surrounded by incorrigible
sodomites, the Babylonians, Philistines, Chaldeas, Egyptians, etc.
who, we can be sure, didn't ignore penis-sucking when it came time
to have a good time. There are very old Egyptian pictures that
seem to suggest fellatory activity.
In ancient Greece, fellatio was known as "playing the flute." Its
praises were sung by Greek and Roman Poets, and so it must have
been fairly widespread. Priapus comments, "Through the middle of
boys and girls travels the member; when it meets beaded chins then
it aspires to the heights." The Roman poet Martial counsels an
aging friend, "Why do you plague in vain unhappy vulvas and
posteriors; gain but the heights, for there any old member
revives." And the poet Lucian mentions the fellatory rape of the
Syrian Timarchus.....
In Egypt, on the other hand they called you "sore throat" -and this
is a well-known business. It must have been a close thing with you
not to be choked, that time you came across the sailor of a three-
master, who fell upon you and stopped up your throat for you!
Lucian even tell us that Timarchus enjoyed the "active" as well as
"passive" roles.
In the Medieval period fellatio is lumped together with anal
intercourse under the accusatory label "sodomia," so documents
relating to its use and popularity become uncertain. However,
based on general estimates of homosexual activity, fellatio
doubtless continued to be practiced throughout Europe until modern
times.
We can't be certain of the frequency among gay male acts, of
fellatio in a population. Magnus Hirschfeld's pioneering research
around the turn of this century in Germany estimates that 40% of
gay males practice one-way and mutual fellatio. In most cultures
anal intercourse is the most common form of gay male sexual
activity. An exception to this is found among the Crow Indians of
North America. Among them, anal intercourse is absent and fellatio
"fairly frequent."
In India the art of fellatio has a long history, going back perhaps
"to the birth of Christ." One of the first love manuals, the Kama
Sutra (ca. 100-300 A.D.) has a whole chapter on Oparishtaka, "mouth
congress" saying that:
The male servants of some men carry on the mouth congress with
their masters. It is also practiced by some citizens, who know
each other well, among themselves.
In India it is also known as mukhamethuna ("oral churning") and
ambarchusi ("mango-fruit sucking").
Fellatio has been highly praised from North Africa eastward, being
"common and customary among all classes and races," often
Deemed even more intimate and enrapturing than genital union,
perhaps because oral excitation yields the most acute and intense
pleasure. The sensations produced by the caressing mouth of one's
beloved seem more ardent and enravishing than those produced by
the penis or vagina.
In Turkey, it's felt that:
fellatio allows greater variety and subtler nuances of pleasure
than vaginal or anal activity, which are more or less restricted
in their execution and effect. In a word, as the Turks say, "Penis
sucking is better than fucking!"
Throughout the Arab world, the slang word for fellatio is qerdz. In
tunisia, Egypt, Arabia, Persia, Afghanistan, and farther, to
Malaya, from which there is this sex-party account:
The scene is the same all over the room. While the man lies at full
length on a couch or sits reclined in a chair, the boy-kneeling or
stooping-holds and kisses his penis, sucks it, and receives the
emission of semen in his mouth, right up to the very last drop.
In all, there are many places in the world where the finer joys
were and are savored and cultivated. The "Arabian voluptuary" as
Victorian England knew him, or the "damnable Toork" of an earlier
era, could appreciate a darting tongue, wet, firm lips, and
sucked-in cheeks clinging to a quivering stalk.
6
BASIC FELLATIO TECHNIQUES
There's no proper or best way to do fellatio. There's only two
people, each unique, wanting to share some interest. And each has
their own wants and needs to satisfy. These can't be fit into the
"correct" say, a certain pattern good for all, at all times. You
must find your own way, what's good and comfortable for you.
Sucking, like rubbing and fucking, is another way for two people to
share pleasure, touch, and care. Specific skills, techniques, and
positions are not as important as your consciousness about
fellatio and the other person and yourself, at that moment in
time. You'll do fine, if your frame of mind is in harmony with
yourself and your surroundings. In Harmony: easy, relaxed, feeling
safe, OK. You are a changing, alive being, and your mood will suit
different activities at different times.
Sex is fun-that's why I do it. It gives me satisfaction for my
friend to suck my cock, and for me to suck his. Let this be your
inner guide, and you will do good by yourself and your friend.
Notice, I'm not saying "you should have fun doing fellatio." I'm
saying fellatio is joyful: sunny, agreeable, charming, cozy,
giving, luxurious, passionate, inviting-if you're not having any
of these, you're not doing fellatio, you're doing something else.
When it stops being fun, it's time to stop, and find out what
happened.
Fellatio is easy to do-all it is, is a penis and a mouth touching;
a kiss in passing is fellatio. How they touch can involve anything
you want to do, for as long as you want to do it. The most common
form of fellation has one person lying relaxed, on his back, and
his friend fellates him.
It might seem like one person is getting all the pleasure as the
other gives it-this is not true; each gives to the other and to
himself: one gives his penis, the other his mouth; one gives his
trust, the other his care; one feels the warm, caressing mouth,
the other feels the strong, warm penis-and all are pleasing. It's
true that the fellator doesn't always know what to do at first; he
might be confused by old habits, cultural fears, or just
inexperience-prolonged fellatio, like all human sex acts, must be
learned, and learning anything takes time and patience.
Let's say you're with your friend, and you're kissing his body.
Then you kiss his erect penis. This is a good chance to explore
his penis with your mouth. How does it feel to your lips? Your
tongue? Explore all around-feel it's shape, its thickness, its
soft skin' the textured crown on top, with its meatus or opening;
the fraenum or string-like portion coming down from the head to
the ring of skin called the corona; the foreskin if he has one;
the scrotum (his balls) at the base-explore all these with your
lips and tongue tip.
Then, if you both want, explore the penis inside your mouth-let
your lips slide over the head and down the shaft a little (watch
the teeth!). how does it feel to your lips and tongue now? MOve
them around some. If you like, slide your mouth down farther.
Notice the feeling of stretch in your jaws, and if the penis gets
close to your throat, the beginning of you gagging reflex. Now
slide the penis out of your mouth slowly, and see how that feels.
Pause for a moment, to let is sink in. You might ask your friend
what he experienced.
If I'm doing this, sucking someone, I usually begin to experience
a warn closeness. In fact, I usually only like to suck someone
when i really care a lot for him, and want to give myself as
closely as I can. It's so intimate a mingling of two people: my
mouth, gentle, expressive, strong, wet, warm. my speech part, the
entrance for my breath, my lips; his crotch, his most sensitive,
guarded physical center, his inner thighs, lower belly, testicles,
and his thick pulsating penis rooted in and up through him. How
delightful to share these. And his trust, his giving me his body,
or mixing security and being.
There are lots of things to do with your mouth on his penis, like
licking it all over, sucking on it, flicking your tongue tip
rapidly across the top. One of the simplest and nicest actions is
to move your mouth up and down on his penis. This is called
sliding. Make a ring with your lips around the shaft. You'll need
a thick padding of saliva to avoid irritation and give the
richest, warmest sensations-don't be afraid of it, it's in the
spirit of mud pies when you were a kid, and just a fun.
You can slide slow or fast, and take as much penis into your mouth
as you like. One neat action is to slide down as far as you can,
and then draw his penis out slowly while sucking on it, like a
peppermint stick.
For a more intense activity, you can slide faster and/or go deeper
with your strokes. And for an even warmer closeness, you can also
fondle and cup his balls in your hand, and add postillioning.
If you and he decide to bring him to orgasm, sliding is a nice way.
If so, he'll probably appreciate stroking as fast and full as you
can. Let me relate a few tips about this.
His experience will get more energetic and intense as he approaches
orgasm. Your sliding will cause the most stimulation if you
encircle your lips firmly around his penis and over the tips of
your teeth. This makes a smooth, snug embrace, and helps avoid
nips and amputations. Move your head up and down as if it were
saying "yes," from just below the top of the penis to as far down
as you like. Meanwhile, keep all the other parts of your mouth as
relaxed as possible (actual "sucking" is not important here). As
you go faster and deeper, get into a regular rhythm. If things
start to get very excited, you can move from your shoulders and
upper back instead of your neck, so that you're bouncing up and
down with your whole upper body. By using these muscles you give
more energy to your strokes and avoid fatigue better.
If you're wary of gagging, you can wrap one hand around the bottom
half of the penis and slide on the top part. If so, it's nice to
move your hand up and down too, doing it so that as your lips move
up to the fraenum, your hand moves down to strike against the bone
just above the penis (called the mons pubis) and also because your
hand pulls the skin tight, which increases sensation. In fact,
even if you don't use your hand too much, you can hold it at the
base to pull the skin tight.
If you're really into giving every inch of goodness possible, you
can add simultaneous sideways motions of your head. First, learn
to do the sliding so it comes easily. Then, as you move up and
down, rotate your head from side to side as if saying "no." The
two motions need to be coordinated, so, for example, as you come
up, turn your head from the center to the right, at the top turn
your head to the left, and as you go down, back to the center.
Let me emphasize that the above actions take time to learn. The
best way is by becoming familiar with one activity in an easy,
relaxed way, and adding on from there. Doing a rapid slide may
seem strange and uncomfortable, and if you experience it this way,
it's best to take your time about learning it, and only when you
feel very save, that it's OK with your friend and you to slow
down, stop, or whatever. Remember, none of these activities is any
big deal. What counts is you having a good time.
Sometimes when I'm in my spiritual mood, I get into the feeling of
this up-and-down motion on the erect penis. There's something very
basic about it, as if I was sensing a bottomless glow coming up
from below my mind. I believe that each of us has a genetic
memory, a meaning as old and wise as the universe itself. We're
not usually conscious of this, the base pattern for our life
experiences. But the up-and-down on the penis is part of this
pattern, and can trigger in us green-life warmth, as if the
universe were saying, "Yes! This is very mysterious and good.
Grow!" Pay attention and see what comes up.
7
FELLATIO TECHNIQUES TO EXPLORE
I'd like to list a few things you can explore during fellatio.
Think of each as a possibility if it seems interesting at some
time and place:
AROUND THE WORLD- This is kissing and licking the body all over. As
I mentioned before, this might end at the crotch, and lead right
into fellatio. If you're moving down his stomach, you can kiss you
way into his crotch, or use a somewhat pointy tongue in flicking
motions within the groove of the crotch, between the thigh and
testicles. You can tongue the scrotum itself, licking and cuddling
his balls with a soft, caressing tongue, and even draw one or both
into the mouth with very light sucking motions or humming (known
as "chewing gum"). From here, you can massage and perineum, the
space between the testicles and anus, and even go on to tongue the
anus also, known as rimming.
If you want to get the penis hard, or just to caress it soft, knead
it with firm lips, or kiss and nibble at it all over, or suck hard
on the crown.
Also, if you make your tongue soft, thick and rounded, you can
cuddle the penis with broad, languorous lapping strokes, caressing
and enveloping it. This is called the Shirley Temple, because it's
like licking a big lollipop or sugar daddy.
You can suck and tongue the top while masturbating the shaft with
your hand, or by rolling the shaft between your two flattened
palms, like rolling dough.
If you want to try something very complex, while you're doing a
rhythmical sliding with side to side motions, draw your tongue to
the back of your mouth and as the penis is sliding in and out,
circle and caress the glans and corona. You must have several free
inches back there to get maneuverability, so don't try this when
your mouth's stuffed full.
There's also an Oriental style for doing the sliding action, where
you move up and down from the waist, like an old washer woman at
the river, instead of from the neck. You must sit on his chest or
between his legs to do this.
If you can handle his penis in your throat, try putting it there
and going through swallowing motions, or shaking your head around
without otherwise moving it. These will give different sensations.
8
BODY POSITIONS DURING FELLATIO
Let me describe a few positions, body arrangements, possible for
two people during fellatio. There are two standard positions that
are easy and satisfying. In both the person being fellated lies
flat on his back. In the first, his partner lies at his side,
facing head to feet. This allows for mutual fondling. In the
second position, the partner sits or lies on his stomach between
his friend's legs, facing him. This gives the fellator more
movement and also puts his tongues against his friend's fraenum
(this may or may not be important).
There are many other positions possible. Some allow mutual genital
stimulation, or more body tension, or body contact. There's a few:
You're sitting, standing, or leaning against a wall or tree trunk.
Your friend kneels in front of you to suck you off. This can be
really fun in the shower.
If you're on your back with your friend kneeling or sitting on your
chest, you can easily reach up to fondle him and adding rimming if
you like.
For an unusual experience, you can be lying upside down in a chair
or car seat, so that your head is down and your knees bent over
the back. Your friend, meanwhile, stands in the back seat and
bends way over on his stomach between your legs.
In general, fellatio can be done with either one of you lying, on
your side, sitting, or standing, in or out of doors. If you want
to go exploring, there are lots of possibilities. Remember that
you aren't restricted to the top of a bed. By using imagination
and hand pieces of furniture, pillows and rocks or trees if in the
forest, you can get into some intriguing and usual experiences. Be
creative and mobile and see what happens.
PROBLEMS
Now I'd like to talk about a few problems that can happen while
you're fellating someone. The first thing is gagging. This is a
spontaneous, unwilled muscular defense of the throat when bumped
against foreign objects. It's just a natural reaction, like
jerking your hand away from fire. But often it's a source of
embarrassment and confusion in one or both partners, during
fellatio, ironically implying the dislike or rejection. You can
control gagging by not going too deep. Also, if you become very
excited, the reflex is not likely to happen. If you're doing mutual
fellatio (sixty-nine) you might have an exciting time and not even
notice that his penis is going way back in your mouth.
Fortunately, the whole gagging reflex will decrease with
experience. If you start out slow and calm, you'll see that it's
not so scary, If you want, gently explore the sensations of his
penis touching the inside and back of your mouth, over time.
Experimenting with depth while doing the slide activity is a good
way Another way to help condition yourself is, while brushing your
teeth, use the back of the toothbrush to explore around in your
mouth. Be playful-try brushing your tongue, moving the brush a
little farther back each time, to see how far down you can go.
Another possible problem is taking semen in your mouth. Cum is a
curious thing. It's taste varies from person to person, mild to
tangy. It's good stuff nutritionally, being mostly protein and
minerals; it's the minerals that give the unique flavor. Take it
or leave it, there's nothing wrong with it, and it can turn out to
be quite a nice treat.
If you want to swallow it without hassle, take the climax deep in
your mouth, and remember, "in each and every case, the faster it
is swallowed, the less time the taste remains." Vomiting, noisy
hawkings, or dashing to the bathroom can be very rude and
demeaning to someone who's just climaxed, so if you don't want to
swallow it, remove it quietly afterwards, into a handy towel or
handkerchief. Or of you like, things can always be switched from
fellatio to masturbation or something else beforehand, but don't
do this too close to orgasm.
A third possible problem is genital odor. All people have a natural
smell. There's little connection between smell and venereal or
other diseases; it's solely a matter of cleanliness. Some people
enjoy a hearty smell, others can't tolerate even the slightest
whiffs. Genital odor is one of the more intimate facts about a
person, and can be the delight and turn-on to the warm closeness
of fellatio. If not, it can often be ignored. Or you can escort
him to the bathroom and wash him yourself.
A fourth possible problem is muscle fatigue. This is to be expected
during fellatio-the mouth can get tired being stuffed full, and
actions of the tongue and neck also take a lot of energy. It's a
natural part of the sex-play pattern, and calls for a change of
pace and/or position. It's probably not such a good idea just to
stop and sit there panting or making nasty comments. If
communication is easy between you can your partner, it will be
understood and OK for each to do what you have to do, without
being an irritant. Sometimes you might get tired just as he's
getting ready to come, since this is a likely time for being
energetic and lively. You can always slow down if it's not too
close to orgasm, or switch to something easier. Also, this problem
will happen less often as you become more used to fellatio, as you
become more confident in yourself and your friend.
The last possible problem is rising fear of even panic as he comes
to orgasm. This can be caused by one or all of the problems I just
mentioned, or just by the force and drive of impending orgasm, or
by your current mood. INexperience or distaste can be big
contributors. You begin to feel like you've lost control, or
something very bad is going to happen, and then the activity
suffers, often at just the wrong moment.
There is a point at which the momentum towards climax is so strong
that it will go ahead even if you slow down, and if you do stop
just before the orgasmic experience may be very second-rate. If
you start to panic at his orgasm, there's not much you can do
about it but maintain as best you can. Afterwards you'd best deal
with it unless you want it to happen again.
The important thing is to feel safe. Part of it is trusting
yourself and your friend. Another part is to know what's coming.
Often the first spurt of semen will trigger the gagging reflex,
and cause panic. Knowing that this might happen and that you can
still continue sucking can keep you from freaking out. For a long
time, I had a lot of trouble panicking before orgasm. Now I feel
much better about it, through trust, experience, and by breaking
down my problem into its parts (gagging, fatigue, etc.) and
dealing with each. Talk about any problems with your partner and
your friends. Just saying what you feel is often very helpful. Ask
them if they experience these things and how they handle them.
Also remember that your current mood has a lot to do with your
experience, and mood can shift a lot through time. One day you
might feel quite happy to eat sperm, and the next thing it's
awful. It's important to respect your mood, and realize that it
may change later.
And also, I'd like to say a word about letting go. In the kind of
fellatio I've been talking about so far, one person is doing
things with his friend's penis, while the other person just lies
back and experiences. If your friend is sucking your penis, he, in
a sense, has control which you, in a sense, have given to him (you
always keep control over your own choices). This sense of not
being in control can be frightening sometimes, the person feeling
like he's losing himself, his power, security. He's not safe. If
you start feeling this way, don't try to force yourself to be
strong: this gives more strength to the fear. Instead, just be
aware-note your fear. And be aware that you've let someone else
stimulate you through his mouth and body. If you don't want this,
don't let it continue; switch to something else. If you do want
it, talking will help. Tell him you feel uneasy. Often it turns
out the person was afraid of coming too soon, or felt like he was
hogging all the attention. Getting upset like this isn't a glaring
fault or a horrible failure, but a part of being human. Problems
are normal just like good times. Being yourself, opening up to your
bad parts as well as good, will encourage others to be themselves
too, and can lead you to new levels of sharing, growing, and
being.
Also, unless you want to have a standard passive/active couples
role with your partner, where one always sucks and the other
always get sucked, you'll have to work on sharing control, and
directing activity. This is a beautiful equalizing factor. It's a
great challenge and also a great potential in the gay
relationship.
THRUSTING
So far I've been talking about fellatio where one person lays back
and gets sucked off. There's another kind too, where one person
slides his penis in and out of his friend's mouth. The Romans
really liked this kind of fellatio, and called it irrumatio. It
gives a different experience to the person being fellated, because
he's the one moving. He's more tense and active, he's controlling
his experience much more so than in the other style, and he's
moving his penis in an action called thrusting, which in itself
can be a different and enjoyable sensation.
If you and your partner want to try this, have him lie down on his
back with a pillow under his head. Then you straddle him with your
hands and knees so that your crotch is over his face, and your
head is above his. Move around until you can easily fit your penis
into his mouth. He should make his mouth wet and form a snug ring
with his lips around your shaft, as he'd do for the sliding action
described earlier. He should suck on your penis, and otherwise
keep still.
Now you want to slide you penis in and out. This thrusting is
learned, and the only way to learn is by doing. Without moving
your knees or using your hands, move your penis with your hips.
Ask him to be patient and just experiment. Ask yourself, how in
the world can I get myself to move in and out, and try out your
muscles. Imagine a point at the base of your penis, and you want
to cause this point to push out and up through your penis, and
them pull back again. Everyone free of paralysis can do thrusting,
if they want to. Just take you time and explore. Follow you
sensations-see what feels good and do it again. Having an
experienced guide or helper can be very useful too.
That's basically all there is to it. You can add things like
rocking your pelvis from side to side or circularly
(called"grinding"). Or your partner can rock his head from side to
side, or move it up and back to meet your strokes, or use his
tongue if he likes. Also, there are lots of different positions,
standing, kneeling, and so on. Many couples like to work out there
own ways. I'm saying, here are possibilities; there you are-
explore, take what you want, and enjoy!
Some people can get into this second kind of fellatio, others don't
like it. A frequent complaint is that the mouth-partner felt
abused, that he had no control and the other thrust too deeply or
violently, causing gagging, fear, or other troubles. This needn't
happen if the two people can talk freely, and respect their own
and each other's wants and needs. You might be able to work
something out with the following suggestions:
Awareness: if you're thrusting, you can be aware of your friend's
comfort level, and with a little care, regulate the depth and
strength of your thrusts.
Pausing: try pausing for a moment between thrusts.
The Stopper Technique: if your friend is thrusting in your mouth,
you can have some control by wrapping one hand around his lower
shaft, to use as a stopper, allowing only as much as you like. If
your hand is at the base, this also adds a pleasurable pressure
against this body. You (or your partner can use the hand to
masturbate the lower part of his penis as the top part slides in
and out, moving the hand down to the base as the penis slides in.
Mutuality: in irrumaton, the mouth-partner is likely to get bored,
and this contributes a lot of feeling abused. There are some
positions that allow mutual fondling, where he can caress you, and
in others the mouth partner can masturbate himself.
SIXTY NINE
Sixty-nine is mutual fellatio, the two of you sucking each other at
the same time. It's called sixty-nine because the body positions
are like the number 69. There are two positions. In the first, one
person lies flat on his back and his friend kneels over him, head
to feet. From here, you both can roll over on your sides to for
the other.
the special delight of sixty-nine comes from the mutuality,
doubling pleasure and warmth-it's an equal sharing, feeling the
same joys, given to each other, at the same time, in the same
position, at a very intimate level.
You can even go deeper with simultaneous orgasms, coming at the
same time-but a cautionary note: this takes some care. Mutual
orgasm can be meaningful, or also a confusing hangup. When people
get really excited, toward orgasm, they tend to lose control and
awareness. But sucking takes some attention and care. So, sucking
and coming may not always mix well. As people have said, "What's
being done to me distracts me from what I'm doing."
You'll have to work this out for yourself. My opinion is, it's no
big deal; it's nice to come together, and it's nice if we don't.
Some couples like sixty-nine to simultaneous orgasms, and make it
because they've learned to "fit" together. Other couples try hard
but miss the point because they pay too much attention to the
simultaneity and not enough to themselves. Getting orgasms
together is not usually an easy thing.
Some people like to do sixty-nine for a while, and then alternate
with one person and then the other resting. Others like to suck
each other alternately until very turned-on, and then finish off
with a sixty-nine. For myself, I find that mutual orgasm is nice,
but I usually can't suck and be sucked at the same time for very
long. So I might have sixty-nine for a while and then switch to
other things. You can experiment, and see what happens. Also, if
you feel relaxed, sixty-nine is a good way to work on problems
like gagging.
9
ANAL INTERCOURSE
This is the chapter about two friends sharing penis and ass in
sensual pleasure, where the penis slides in and out of the ass.
This is called ass fucking, humping, buggering, sodomizing, and
anal intercourse. For those who think sodomy is an offbeat or minor
act, you'll be surprised to hear that actually it's been the most
common and popular gay male sexual activity. All kinds of "simple"
creatures, like bulls, frogs, guppies, dogs and so on, can
frequently be seen making male-male sexual advances. For those
animals that mount from behind (which includes the amphibians and
mammals, for example), this naturally leads to male-male mounting.
These actions are usually simple and don't end in intercourse,
though one or both partners may appear to get excited. But in some
of the "higher" animals such as monkeys, complex activities are
seen. That baboons do it often, seemingly to the point of orgasm,
has become common knowledge. These acts usually involve an older
and younger male and may develop into an ongoing relationship. The
same is seen in macaque monkeys, where we have a description, for
example, of a friendship between an adult and younger male that
"was accompanied by frequent sodomy, mutual embracing, and social
protection of the younger animal by his full-grown partner."
Sometimes relations will happen between nearly equal males, as
noticed in squirrel monkeys. For our closest relatives, the chimps
and gorillas, no observations are recorded, although among that
unusually complex animal the porpoise, attempts at homosexual
intercourse have been seen.
These behaviors suggest a phylogenetic pattern, in which anal
intercourse became increasingly important through the evolution of
animal life. In the simpler animals, sodomy happens by random
chance, while in highly evolved social animals, it is often
purposeful to that society. Thus ass fucking, as an aspect of
nature, contains meaning and mystery of the life-spirit. When
humankind came along, the pleasurable and mystical powers of sodomy
could be cultivated on new levels, equal to our consciousness and
intelligence.
The Earliest records of our western "civilization" show that anal
intercourse was important culturally and spiritually, It was tied
up with worship of androgynous gods, who were part male and part
female. When culture reached the point of having temples, there
were special priests who acted as go betweens for a person and the
god, using anal intercourse as the medium. This intercourse was
considered spiritually cleansing and uplifting, a sharing between
person and god "held to be pure and fraternal," an act "venerable
and holy." This was a common opinion throughout the ancient
Mideast. Sometimes descriptions survive of sodomist relations among
gods themselves, as for example the Egyptians Set and Hourus.
Of course anal intercourse was not limited by any means to the
spiritual level only. It was always seen as a form of pleasure and
recreation. "profane" sodomy (sex for its own sake) was, as the
Bible continually reminds us, "rampant." Paradoxically enough, it
was even "quite common if customary" among the ancient Jews
themselves, even though they started the taboos against it. Myth
imputes the destruction of Sodom to this act (although most modern
scholars no think Sodom was a morality story about the violation of
hospitality rules, having nothing to do with sex).
Among the ancient Greeks, gayness was a part of everyday life. Anal
intercourse was the common mode for men, and was considered an
enjoyable, healthy, and uplifting activity. Being sensual and fun,
it was done with humor (as were all pleasured to the Greeks) and
called in slang "the carnal assault," the two partners described as
"dog modest" (referring to the most popular position, that of rear
entry).
Also it formed part of the morality of the state, the "proper" way
to bring up young men and be an upstanding citizen. In Greek
philosophy, education was conducted through the love between
teacher and student, called paiderastia, and "by Paiderastia a man
propagated his virtues, as it were, in the youth he loved,
implanting them by the act of intercourse." We find this idea of
virtue-giving through anal intercourse to be frequent in different
cultures. In fact, at times a man was not considered to be living
up to community standards unless he did practice sodomy:
Lycurgus, the Spartan legislator, living some centuries before
Socrates, refused the title of a good and deserving citizen to any
man who had not a [male] friend that served him as a concubine.
To say that anal intercourse was practiced widely by the Greeks and
later, the Romans would probably be an understatement:
Who does not know that the Greeks and Romans were intrepid pedicons
and determined cinedes? In the Greek and Latin authors... the male
Venus parades on every page...all burnt with the same fire, the
common people, the higher classes, the king.
Pedicon was the Latin name for "a man who exercises his member in
the anus." He was also called a pederast or drawk. The man "who
allows himself to be invaded in this way" was called the cinede
(cinaedus), or patient, catamite, minion, effeminate. Also, if the
cinede was an adult or "worn out," he was called an exolete.
The Romans didn't give the same moral and institutional values to
anal intercourse as the Greeks did, but their ardor for it appears
equal, none the less. Plenty of poets spoke of it, praising it,
mocking well-known friends (with humor), spreading rumors and
giving advice. Here are a few examples:
Stretch the foot and take your course, fly with soles in the air,
with supple thighs, and nimble buttocks and libertine hands...
- Petronius (First Century A.D.)
Caesar, the husband of all women, and the wife of all husbands -
Curio the Elder
Catching me with a boy, you harass me with your cries, and you tell
me, my wife, that you have posteriors too.
Many and many a time did Juno say the name to Jupiter the
Thunderer; yet he continued to sleep with slender Ganymede.
-Martial (40?-102 A.D.)
He was very much given to the intercourse between men, and amongst
such he preferred men of ripe age, exoletes.
-Seutonius (Second Century A.D.) Speaking of the Roman Emperor
Galba.
For you, ungrateful boy, I keep my treasures all, and no one shall
enjoy them but yourself; my penis is growing; while it used to
measure seven inches, now it measures ten.
-Pacificus Maximus, Elegy II, to Ptolemy
Overall, the ancients thought differently about sexual matters then
we do. They lacked that guilt, that righteousness, that disgust of
pleasure that early Christians so treasured. In other words, they
simply enjoyed it.
The general attitude of the Greeks, Romans and other Mediterranean
peoples towards anal intercourse can be summed up in the words of
an ancient Greek historian, Timaeus, as he comments on a
neighboring county:
It is not considered objectionable among the Tyrrhenians [of Italy]
to have to do with boys openly, whether actively or passively, for
paederasty [man/youth love] is a custom of the country...They pay
homage to love...they are very fond of women, but find more
pleasure with boys and young men...
all this changed with the rise of the Christian church, which took
a harsh Jewish creed and made it more harsh. Sexual matters were
far from perfect in the ancient Mediterranean world ( especially as
regards the rights of women), but there is a vast gulf between
arguing the pros and cons of passive sodomy and condemning all
sodomy as against God's will. Christianized Roman emperors such as
Justinian were afraid that God would cause earthquakes and fires
like he did on Sodom if homosexuality were not wiped out. And many
early Christians believed that all sex was sinful (some even going
so far as to castrate themselves), thus making gay sex doubly evil.
Male gayness was common in all Eurape, even before the advent of
Christianity, and it seems likely anal intercourse was widely
practiced. At least this was true for the Celts of France,
according to the Roman Athenaeus:
The Celts take more pleasure in prederastia then any other Nation,
to such a degree that amongst them is no rarity to find a many
lying between two minions.
Many references tell how common ass fucking was among the Normans,
who conquered England in 1066. As to England itself, Anselm,
writing to Archdeacon William in 1102, says, "This sin had been so
public that hardly anyone has blushed for it, and many, therefore,
have plunged into it without realizing its gravity." The fortunes
of sodomy rose and fell during the Middle Ages depending on
religious and social feelings. Sometimes you could be more open
about it, and sometimes you were burned at the state. Sodomy was a
potent crime against God, and Accusation of it was often used to
punish political enemies. Thus, for example, the Knights Templar,
famous during the Crusades, were accused of sodomy in order to
remove their political power.
Different European states held different attitudes on the matter.
Officially it was condemned everywhere, but practically speaking
the countries varied in tolerance. Especially after the Renaissance
it seems that sometimes matter could be more open. for Example, the
Scot Lithgow reports in 1610 while touring Italy:
for beastly Sodomy, it is as rife here [in Padua] as in Rome,
Naples Florence, Bullogna, Venice, Ferrara, Genoa, Parma not being
exempted, nor yet the smallest village of Italy: A monstrous
filthiness, and yet to them a pleasant pastime, making songs, and
singing Sonnets of the beauty and pleasure of their Bardassi, or
buggered boys.
Of a later time, one scholar writes,
If we may trust to Aloysia Sigaea, the Italians and Spaniards did
it; also the Dutchmen, with whom towards the middle of the XVIIIth
Century as J. David Michaelides tell us...this habit was so much in
vogue, that the punishment of death was hardly a avail against it;
also the Parisians...
The Mideast was not only the cradle of western civilization but
also of those culture which today embrace North Africa, Turkey, all
the near East, India and Indonesia. Male gayness was very
widespread in these cultures, at times to the point of rivaling
heterosexual values and institutions. Having been bypassed, so to
speak, by the accusing finger of the Judeo-Christian god, gayness
in these lands continued to flourish ad it had in ancient times.
In the geographical center of the Mideast lies Persia, modern Iran.
During the middle and early modern ages, Persia flourished as a
center of religious, philosophical and artistic thought. And the
general code of law and customs,
including one of the most ancient of Malthusian law seeking
population control, fostered sodomy in social and theological
practice. Thus, Persians became one of the first endemically and
customarily inverted peoples.
"True love" for males in Persia was often gay in nature, and poets,
philosophers, holy men praised it, using its feelings to enrich
their thinking, and vice versa. Thus sodomy was connected with
"higher" virtues, and anal intercourse became a way of reaching new
spiritual levels and of teaching the young, just as it was with the
Greeks.
Much was written on the joys of sodomy. Muhammad ibn Malik, an
Arabic poet of the twelfth century in Andalusai, wrote the
following poem:
FACING MECCA
. Friday
. in the mosque
. my gaze fell upon a slim young man
. beautiful
. as the rising moon.
.
. When he bent forward in prayer
. my only thought was
. oh to have him
. stretched out
. flat before me,
. butt-up,
. face-down.
In North Africa, not only was sodomy prevalent among the Egyptians,
but also with the Berbers, Moors, and other Arabs. And in
Afghanistan, a typical greeting was, "May the devil rub thy
buttocks, ya Huzoor!" In the same region lived the Pathans, whose
pederastic love song (Zekhmi Dil, "Wounded Heart") went, "There's
a boy across the river with a postern like a peach, but alas! I
cannot swim!" In libya anal intercourse was known as el-cudeh ("the
worm"), while in Hindu culture the "active" partner was called
gandhmara ("anus beater"). In Hindu society, anal intercourse was
usually frowned upon, as was gayness in general. But as I noted
before, this was more the attitude of the upper class and
intelligentsia, the "lower" classes being more relaxed, because the
god Shiva had sodomy with other gods. We do not know how prevalent
this kind of sex was there, except that it was at least fairly
popular. The nomadic tribes living on the middle plains of Asia -
the Turanians, Cossacks, Huns, Tartars, Mongols, Turkomans, Yakuts
and others - practiced "flagrant sodomy," the Elizabethan Samuel
Purchas noting that the Tartats were "addicted" to it"
Gayness was also historically widespread and held in esteem in
China. Again, anal intercourse was the popular mode, and was
referred to in Chinese literature as "sharing the peach." This
phrase arose out of the firs recorded instance of sodomy in Chinese
history:
Duke Ling [around 500 B.C.] committed sodomy with a young court
official, Mi Tzu-hsia, who had a face "as pretty as that of a
blooming maiden."...One day, when the two of them were sauntering
hand in hand in the Duke's Eastern Garden, Mi playfully picked a
ripe peach from a tree. After having a few bites himself, he
unceremoniously pushed the remaining part of the peach into Duke
Ling's mouth. In those days such an act was considered one of the
great disrespect for the head of the state. And yet Duke Ling
gladly munched the peach and said aloud: "This peach tastes so good
because it has been in your mouth first."
Nobles, courtiers and even emperors engaged in sodomy, this being
especially prevalent during the Manchu dynasty (17th-20th
centuries). Relations were most common between men and youths. One
of the classic erotic masterpieces of world literature, the Chin
P'ing Mei, involves the hero, Hsi-men, in the scene:
Hsi-men opened the boy's robe, pulled down his pants, and gently
stroked his penis...while the boy surrendered his bottom to a might
warrior, Hsi-men stroked his stiff penis....Said the boy: "He
pushed his poker so violently between my buttocks that today they
are swollen with great pain. When I asked him to stop, he pushed
his poker in and out all the more."
In both China and Japan, male prostitution was widespread, and "a
thriving and honorable profession" sanctified in China by Tcheou-
wang, God of Sodomy, and in Japan consecrated in male Geisha
houses. In China, "the boys were made to sit on benches made of
boxwood sprigs in graduated sizes, in order to prepare them to
welcome the pleasures expected of them." In both cultures these
prostitutes could still be found on special streets as late as the
last world war.
The majority of the "Primitive" cultures on all continents and
throughout human history sanctioned some form of male gayness. As
one scholar noted, "anal coitus is the usual technique employed by
male homosexuals in preliterate societies."
These relationships could take on a variety of forms, depending on
local customs. One common form involves a marriage between a man
and a transvestite, who may also be a magician. Here, the
transvestite usually takes the "passive" role with his husband,
though in some cultures he is allowed to take female wives in
addition. Such customs have been noted among diverse peoples, such
as the Chuckchee of Siberia, the Aleuts and Konyages of Alaska, the
Creek and Omaha of the U.S., "the negro population of Zanzibar,"
and the Bangala of the upper Congo.
10
ANAL INTERCOURSE TECHNIQUES
Let me say right off that the best way to learn anal intercourse it
sot do it. Keep in mind that the ways of sharing sex must be
developed; they don't spring fully formed into the mind. Yet the
basic actions of the intercourse are easy and simple, as they are
for every kind of sex. That is, all the necessary information is
already in you; you need only learn how to being it out, to
overcome any confusions and develop rapport with your partner(s).
It's the prohibitions, the guilts and the complexities in our
society and each of us that prevent us knowing and doing what we
want. Again, it's a matter of good consciousness, feeling relaxed,
and wanting to explore, to get into it.
Anal intercourse involves two people, who between them create the
pleasures. At any one time, one person will have his penis in the
other's ass; this may be reversed later on. One or both (or at
certain times neither) persons will be moving. In the anal
intercourse I will discuss, both partners want to engage in it, and
they cooperate with each other. There's no such thing as a
"passive" and an "active" role; there is no dominant and no
submissive-these are false labels put on us by hostile outsiders.
Ass fucking is an act of creation where two are together. There is
a vast flexibility in who can do what, but there is no "one up/one
down" mentality unless you want that.
So you want to know how to do it? Here it is: you kneel on your
elbows and knees, and relax you ass such that your body wants to
take in your friend's erect penis. He kneels directly behind your
rear end, facing your way. He bends over you, guiding his
lubricated penis to your anus-opening, and then gently pushes it
inside as you draw it in. Then he causes his penis to slide up and
down inside by thrusting his hips back and forth, while you keep
still or rotate you hips in a side-to-side motion.
That's basically it. From the description, you might think the
penis person is having all the fun. That's no true. The ass-person
may be enjoying even more pleasure. There are two reasons for this:
the anus is very sensitive to erotic touch, like the lips; and the
inserted penis will massage a small gland behind the testicles,
called the prostate. When this gland is touched during sexual
arousal, the pleasurable feelings are multiplied in intensity.
Thus, during anal intercourse, powerful erotic feelings can flow
all through the body around the genitals, anus, and internal
organs; the rectum may begin contracting up and down in waves of
pleasure, causing an anal orgasm along with the genital one. the
penis-person can masturbate his partner; the ass-person can
masturbate himself, or he can even reach around to insert a finger
in his partner's anus - many possibilities are open, for you to
discover exactly what you like to do and enjoy, according to you
different wants and moods.
In other words, if you're new to it, it's best to learn in steps
and not to expect to know or do everything at once; usually it
takes months or years to feel and shape the many potential desires
and satisfactions. The basic act is simple, but out culture teaches
us to be so inhibited about sex, gay sex, and asses in particular
that some confusion may have to be worked through.
Once over this, new levels of meaning will be open to you. The fun
of sexual arousal and ejaculation is recreational, is
entertainment. Loss of ego sense )sense of "I") and dissolving into
another, when all thinking disappears and both your ecstasies merge
together, is affirmational, is centering, growthful, spiritual.
Wrapping your warm body around another, or to be so enfolded, with
torsos and legs, penis and ass, desire and care, feels good in
describable and indescribable ways, to the life/spirit/me. And this
is creative experience at its best.
Where to begin? By being candid with yourself, and that you want to
explore, and then finding a partner, a friend, a one-night stand,
whatever. You'll probably want to taste both roles, insertor and
insertee: you might find one more meaningful for you, or you might
like both.
I should mention here that all our explorations, indeed, any
suggestions given in this book, are meant as enjoyable adventures,
as good experiences. If anything turns into hard work, if you seem
driven to ignore your sensuality, and speed on in haste instead, or
get worried and upset, it's time to stop. To start over or talk to
someone, You can't force love, it unfolds. Oftentimes things have
to be learned, but if this is not enjoyable learning it's probably
not for you. Curiosity is your best bet here, and leave you
seriousness at the door - sodomy is an extra, not a pain in the
ass.
First, let me explain the basic position and motions that go with
them, then I'll discuss matters about the ass-person, the penis-
person. Let me go through each position, the motions that can be
used, and its advantages and disadvantages; these, of course, can
only be explained approximately, as people vary in what fits for
them.
One position I've already described, with the ass-person crouching
down to receive his friend from behind. The advantages are, easy
and fairly deep entry, and freedom of movements. This of the penis-
person include thrusting, grinding (rotating the hips circularly as
you'd do to play with a hoola-hoop), rocking (turning the pelvis
from left to right), and body motions like swaying from the knees.
These motions allow differing experiences for both partners. Those
of the ass-person include complementary thrusting (the same as for
the penis-person, except that your timing and his are slightly
off), counter-thrusting (where you push as he pulls), grinding or
rocking as he thrusts, and body movements. All these motions are
easy to learn, once you feel save enough to try them and someone
can help you a little.
The disadvantages of this position are both people having to hold
themselves up (getting tired and not having free hands), the penis
not pressing too much against the prostate, and not being face to
face (if that's important to you).
A variation on this position had the ass-person lying flat on his
stomach (with his hips raised a little on a pillow if you like).
This allows him to relax more and he has his hands free to do
whatever. The Penis-person lies on top and thus also can be more
relaxed and have free hands. However, penetration is not as easy
and you can't thrust as deeply. Also, the ass-person is weighed
down and restricted in how he can move, through the penis-person
can still more freely.
From this position, both partners can roll over on their sides,
still facing the same way, with one leg drawn up. This position
allows bodily relaxation plus free hands to explore and caress.
Also entry is easy and fairly deep, and avoids the one person
pressing fully on his friend. Movements are somewhat limited,
though vigorous thrusting is till easy once you get used to the
posture.
An interesting variation on this position has both partners on
their sides, but facing each other. Here the penis-person must
extend his pelvis between the other's bent legs. This position
allow deep entry and a full massage of the prostate. Also the hands
and mouths are free, and movement is fairly easy once insertion is
made.
then there is the full-front position, in which the ass-person lies
on his back, drawing his knees up to his chest and over the
shoulders of the penis-person, who presses down on him fact to face
(a pillow can be put under the pelvis to raise it even higher, or
the penis-person can push back his friend's feet over his head).
This position allows for easy penetration and very deep entry, a
good massage of the prostate, plus full movements by the penis-
person. However, the ass-person can't move much, though his hands
are free.
Another favorite position is a standing one, in which both friends
stand up, facing the same way, and the ass-person bends over at the
waist, using a wall table, or other support. This can also be done
on the knees rather than the feet, say, at the edge of the bed. If
both partners are not of the same height at the waist, some
adjustment will have to be made. This position is convenient to use
outdoors, and allows easy penetration and full movements, if
something solid is around to hold on to.
These are the basic positions; many others are also possible. Each
is different, and may vary for you in feelings and emotional
meaning. You might be specially thrilled by thrusting from behind,
wrapping around this backside, stroking his chest and stomach with
your hand. Or your love to unite may reach out strongest with him
entering you face to face, snug and kissing deeply.
11
ANAL INTERCOURSE FEARS OF BEING ENTERED
I've already mentioned some of the pleasures possible thought
receiving the penis in intercourse. Now let's talk about how you do
it, and things you might be afraid of.
this matter is simply put: your rectum can receive a large penis
easily and fully, and this can be quite pleasurable, if you want
it. And you must want it, before it can happen. That is, you must
be at ease, in mind and body. The rectum is like a very elastic
pipe with a set of muscular rings at the end, the anus. The anus
acts as a plug, to stop things from going out, or let them in. It
tightens and relaxes like purse-strings on a bag, and is fairly
strong.
This muscle is controlled by the mind, and emotions influence how
tense it will be at any given time. Good fucking can't happen
unless the anus is relaxed, and this may take some learning.
Many of us are taught to be ashamed out our rear ends, of the
things that happen there, and the sensations of this area. the anus
can be an erotic place; most children experience pleasure in
shitting, but many adults ignore these feelings, in their rush to
get the act over with as little guilt as possible. The rear end
becomes an ignored and mysterious place. The anus is usually held
tight, and becomes the site of problems like hemorrhoids.
Yet the feelings are still there. Awareness and conscious control
of the anus can be learned, although this takes time to discover.
Look at it as exploring something new, part of your own body. The
first thing is, how you feel about your anus and rectum. Are they
a part of you, or do you emotionally push them away? If you feel
bad about your ass, that it's a dirty place, this is where you
explorations must begin.
Explore your anus, to discover how it feels and that it's not
dirty, that you can touch it and not get hurt. You can do this two
ways: by yourself and / or with a friend.
If you explore yourself you have control over you actions. Climb
into a tub of hot water (or a shower or on your bed) and relax.
Then with you fingertips explore your genitals and thighs, gliding
around to feel what it's like. Then bend your legs and slide your
fingers down between them. lower and deeper, past your testicles.
Touch your anus very lightly with one finger. Then with several.
Push down a little - how does it feel? If you like that, try
masturbating while pressing several fingers on your ass.
Now you've made contact. If it feels good there or if you sense
that it will, keep exploring. Don't push yourself to do more than
you want at any one time - pace yourself comfortable. But try to
tune in on your rear; discover when it's tight and when it's loose,
and how you can control this.
At some point you'll want to take the plunge, inserting a finger
inside. It's a remarkable discovery, that you can do this, and
opens up a world of new sensations. Be aware that the rectum is a
sturdy, flexible organ and can't be hurt by fingers, a penis or
other similar objects, unless you violently intend to do so: if you
don't make your finger force your ass, or your ass force your
finger, they will work well together. Sharp edges like fingernails
can scratch it, and that's not good, to trim your nail a little
first. But if it can take all your excrement it can take smaller
things like fingers and cocks.
Usually there's nothing inside the end-part of the rectum; but
sometimes there might be small particles. You'll discover that
these are harmless and easily washed off after. Or you can clean
out your rectum first, douching with an enema bottle and warm
water. Many men who enjoy ass fucking do this. Or you can use a
quick and easy method developed by Dr. Bill Horstman, a San
Francisco sexologist, which consists of douching with a large
basting syringe, which can be bought at most supermarkets. It's a
big plastic tube, pointed at one end (make sure to file down the
tip so it's not scratchy) and with a rubber glove on the other.
Filled with water, it holds just enough to clean the rectum
thoroughly and simply.
Now, I suggest you like back on your bed (or wherever), and bend
your legs to bring your feet up close to your rear. Get into an
enjoyable masturbation with one hand, and grease a finger of the
other with KY or another lubricant. Then place it at your anus, and
push very gently, slowly. Your finger will go in just a little. If
you want to get your finger in farther, you must keep pushing
gently and firmly, and release the anus muscle. Then you will feel
you finger go all the way through, past the thick muscle and into
the soft, quiet rectum.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, because you've taught yourself
to regard anything in the rectum as dark and dirty, and you'll want
to push it out. But take it easy; try letting your finger rest
there as you're masturbating. You may feel a little burning or
irritation, but this will turn to pleasure if your masturbation is
feeling good. If you like, climax with your finger inside, and see
how it feels. If all this seems good to you, keep up the
exploration. If it bothers you, withdraw and try again later; take
you time.
Once you get get used to you finger inside, you can discover new
things. Stick you finger all the way in. Then feel around inside,
gently, as you masturbate, until you touch on a silver-dollar
sized, round lump behind you testicles. this is your prostate
gland, and you'll know when you've touched it because it'll feel
hard and nice. If there's a sharp pain, however, withdraw your
finger and go see a doctor, because it means your prostate might be
infected.
But otherwise, try moving your finger up and sown against the
prostate as you masturbate. This will probably feel very good. Also
you'll notice that you can squeeze and unsqueeze you anus around
the finger.
Now you'll want to learn to loosen it enough to let in larger
sized. It may seem at first like you anus has a separate
personality, doing things in its own way. But this is only because
you've separated it in your mind. If you get to know it better,
it'll eventually make friends with you, and the separation will
disappear. After using your finger to meet it, get to know your
anus more intimately. You can trace warm wet rings around its
outside; after inserting a finger you can massage it, pressing
outward in a circle, tensing and calming it, trying to curl your
finger around its side, feeling its touch through the skin - while
exploring, if you act like you're shitting, pushing out, this will
help even more. Practice stretching and tensing/calming your anus
around your finger; you want to do this until it can be widened
easily and painlessly.
Next you can insert two (or more) fingers, seeing how far you can
bend them apart. Later, you might want to try a dildo (a straight,
smooth, round tipped object like those found in sex shops). It's a
good idea to use something that won't break, such as plastic or
rubber. Glass objects and sometimes shatter, and a candle could
snap in the middle. leaving half stuck inside. So be careful.
Otherwise feel free to indulge, since you can only hurt your rectum
with sharp objects or violent jabbing motions.
Or you might want to move right on to experimenting with a friend.
And this is also another way to learn about your ass. Say to him
"I'd sure like to enjoy anal pleasures, but I'm not used to it and
a little afraid," Then your friend can turn you on" (after douching
if necessary) he can place his fingers at your anus during sex. He
can, if he likes, suck and tongue your anus, or insert his
finger(s). These are called analingus and postillioning, and can be
soothing, warm, and exiting; they have their own secretions at the
end of this chapter. A nice thing is for your friend to masturbate
you as his finger is inserted in your rectum.
If neither of you can get this far, because you anus just won't
relax, it means you're anxious somewhere, or you simply don't know
how to relax it yet. This is not always the easiest thing to learn,
and there's no reason to feel bad about it, since the anus is very
likely to just follow old habits of not opening up. It takes time.
Take risks only when you really feel safe, and don't allow yourself
to be forced open. It helps to talk about this, and how you're
feeling.
One especially nice act that can relax your rear is for your
friend, during sex, to simply trace soft rings around the opening,
pressing with one or two lubricated fingertips, going around and
around. This usually has a calming, whole-some effect.
If, after much gentle trying over a period of time, your anus just
won't loosen, I would suggest you might have a mental wish not to
be entered that you aren't aware of. If this might be, explore the
possibility in your mind and with your friend; you may want to see
a counselor or sexologist, or you may decide that anal intercourse
just isn't for you.
If you do progress in your explorations, the time will come for
your friend to insert his penis. If this is what you both want, let
it happen as it will, without planning on doing it. Be easy about
it, trying one of the position I've described. It may take several
(or many) tries, so relax and feel the sensations. If it hurts, and
it might, just ask him to withdraw gently. Some pain may happen,
and this is usually OK. If it's a strong or sharp pain, back off,
but you'll discover that the mild pain turns to blissful delight
during sex. As he enters, you may experience a violent urge to go
to the bathroom, or you may imagine you're going to piss or shit
right there. This is a fantasy of your mind and body, through lack
of use and conditioning; if you respect these feelings and have
patience, they will change through practice. Also, if you're
sexually excited, these feelings and any tightness will lessen
considerably. The best rule is to take it in steps, going easy and
smooth. It may seem difficult for a while, but you may be surprised
by a rapid change from discomfort to sweet pleasure.
There is a special position for you if you want to take entire
control of the act. This way you can go fast or slow as you like.
It involves your friend lying on his back. Then you squat down over
his hips, facing him, and guide his penis to your ass. Then you
simply sit down on it, gently and as far as you want to go. You
make any motions with your hips, or you can just feel what it's
like.
There are two other ways you can take more control, which are
useful not only if you're new at it, but also if he has an extra
large penis. You can use your hand as a stopper, wrapping it around
his penis where you like so only so much is let in (or he can use
his own hand). Also you can use a position allowing only limited
entry - a good one is where you lie flat on your stomach, with him
lying on top; by pushing down with your pelvis or tightening your
buttocks you can limit penetration even more.
After insertion, give a luxurious amount of time in becoming used
to it. Let him worry about what to do, and you just pay attention
to the warmth Let him worry about what to do, and you just pay
attention to the warmth and sensualness of it. Try masturbating -
this is a regular part of the intercourse, and may surprise you
with its intensity.
Enjoyment in being the ass-person comes with letting go, into the
experience. It's not being passive in our cultural sense, since he
can be lying still with your making all the motions. Rather it's
receiving and giving, his care and yours, your bodily/emotional
desires and his, in various combination. It's reaching and creating
with your excitement, so that your union becomes fusion of give and
take, in and out - a greater wholeness of being.
You can be entirely still or jumping all over, or anywhere in
between. Most of the body motions are easy to learn, such as
thrusting and grinding. It can get a little complicated at times,
however, since if you both move your motions must be coordinated.
The easiest thing to do is rotate your rear in a circular way, as
he thrusts. A tricky and subtle still is to learn how to squeeze
your anus, tight and loose, to fondle his pleasure more and start
vibrating, glowing ripples up and down your rectum. You'll know if
you're moving in good ways, because you'll feel a rhythmic flow
inside and out. You'll begin to forget where you are, as your
movements melt into his.
12
ANAL INTERCOURSE PERFORMANCE FEARS
As with the ass-person, so too with the penis-person, being of good
consciousness, open, wanting to explore and cooperate - with these,
knowledge and pleasurable sensations; touching and rubbing in
joyful ways. Once your penis is in his rectum, all this will tend
to happen by itself; just let go and explore what feels good.
If you haven't done it before, you might feel clumsy, confused;
body motions use din anal intercourse aren't used many places
outside sex, so how can you be expected to know them instantly? If
you feel uncomfortable, tell him you're exploring maybe he can help
you out.
One big worry is that you might be embarrassed, that you'll fail.
This is called "Performance anxiety:" you can't get it up, you
can't keep it up, and/or you can't carry through to climax. The
penis is sensitive to worry, like a barometer it goes up and sown
with anxiety level (among other things, such as fatigue). In other
words, if you're too upset or too unsteady, it's pretty hard to
fake it with your cock. And once you've "failed," it makes it even
harder.
But actually, this penis-sensitivity can be seen as a good thing:
it makes you be honest. There's a big difference between performing
in intercourse and sharing. I'm not writing about performance at
all - if you want to put on a show, entertain your partner and
prove your skills, go read something else because I'm not
interested in it. If you want to be together, mixing with him,
giving and taking as two growing people - then you'll want to be
honest, clear, human, yourself. And then, if you go limp, you go
limp. Big deal! That's part of being yourself at the time. You're
scared, uncertain, confused; these are important feelings; don't
deny them! People manage to get themselves into a fix by making
things worse then they are. Worries in sex are common, human
things; we all fail, including me your humble sexpert. By
discovering you can just be you, wherever you're at during the
moment, it won't matter so much; it'll be OK.
If you've tried before and failed a lot, you probably feel pretty
bad about it. "I'm a loser; ain't it awful." Well, you'll never get
over it with that attitude. What keeps people from doing what they
want is "I can't do it; I'm super anxious that I'll just fail
again." This vicious circle failure, fear of failure - needs to be
broken, and the first step is removing the emotional punch of
"failing." Examine why you see your act as a failure; you must have
had a goal in mind that you didn't reach, and this to you was bad.
Why is this a bad thing? Try looking at it from a new point of
view, seeing it neither as a bad or good, but simply as an event
which happened.
Find a friend who's willing to work on it with you, explaining that
you want to do this, but couldn't manage it in the past. Then you
can go on to break the cycle, by learning that you can enjoy
yourself. This needs trust and help from your friend, as you learn
together. First, you'll want to discover you can enjoy contact with
his rear end. when you're having sex, try inserting your finger on
or in his anus, and he into yours, especially at climax. Thus
you'll discover you can give and get extra pleasure this way. After
you're used to this, try the special position I mentioned before:
you lie on your back, and your friend straddles you at the waist,
to insert your penis in him. You don't have to move a thing; just
relax and feel it. Often the person was so worried about what to do
after insertion that he could never get that far.
Let your friend do all the movement. I you go limp, try again or
switch to something else. Make sure it's OK with you and your
friend if you go limp, since this (limp=failed=bad) can be the
biggest part of feeling like you're no good. Take time discovering
that you can be erect and be inside him. If it doesn't happen
sooner or later, you may want to just let it rest until a better
time.
After you feel comfortable being inside him. try moving. As you
begin to do this, open up to your desire. Try the side-ways
position, both facing the same way, since it won't be as demanding
as some others. Once you feel fluid and relaxed mentally, your body
will flow also. Flex it; try out your pelvis. Just move it around
any old way and see what happens. You'll probably discover most if
not all the possible movements. Thrusting is with the small of the
back (just above your ass), making your pelvis tip up and down.
You'll be rusty at first; practice makes better (dancing is also a
good place to practice).
You'll find you can move in ways that express your feelings: slow,
fast, hard, soft, simple, complex, as you like. Also it'll take
time to coordinate your movements with him; this cooperation is
learned, as you pick up each other's styles and talk about what's
good for you. If both of you are into moving at the same time,
perhaps the easiest is for you to thrust while he rotates his
pelvis. To do this try to draw an imaginary circle around your
waist with your rear end. And then there's thrusting together -
there are two ways to do it. As you push your penis deeper into his
ass, he can push against you' and then pull away from you as you
pull away from him. This is the meeting style. In the rhythm style,
you both thrust at the same time; you make the exact same rhythm.
Obviously this would never work, except that you and he don't move
at exactly the same time: one of you is "off" slightly, pushing
down a little after he pushes down, pulling up a little after, and
so on.
There's another important matter that's good to know. And this is
about forcing your friend's ass. There are two ways to have anal
intercourse as in inter-action, or as a game of force and selfish
controlling between suspicious partners. Time and again, it is the
good consciousness that matters; feeling warm, trusting, open with
your friend. With this attitude, the problem of forced entry will
never come up. But it often happens that a tight anus is rammed by
a callous or overeager partner, and this is not good. As I've taken
time to explain, the anus muscles will be as loose as the person
feels. If the anus doesn't relax, intercourse can still happen, as
the ass can be entered by sheer force. This is usually painful, and
may hurt the ass-person by tearing the rectum. You will instantly
know if you're being entered in a bad way, because it'll hurt a
lot. And that's the time to stop things.
Be gentle when you enter another person: after you're in, you can
use healthy stroking, but not at first; don't plunge in like a high
diver. You should slide in with a firm, easy pushing, If not, try
again later. the anus may not be either totally relaxed or tight:
it doesn't have to be gaping wide open - but if firm pressure
doesn't work, don't go on. The best indicator of trouble is pain -
a little is usually OK, especially of the ass-person is
inexperienced, but a lot means stop. If the penis is really large,
some extra stretching may be necessary, and this may take a little
practice for the anus to get used to. You can insert your penis in
just part way, and then withdraw, so that his anus will become
adjusted to accept this mount. The anus is very flexible, but it
may take some practice - try inserting a little, then full
insertion later, followed by gentle movements and then
finally moving as comfortable. This gradual approach, in many
matters, is usually the safest and most secure way.
From all the foregoing, it may seem like anal intercourse is a very
complex activity. But actually it's a simple thing, and comes easy
with an easy mind. It's another way of sharing bodies and feelings,
meeting and exploring the world of ourselves. It can be a way of
pleasuring, growing, loving, a nice pastime or a meaty pursuit.
13
POSTILLIONING
Postillioning is inserting a finger (fingers) into the anus, and
may include massaging it, the rectum, or/and the prostate gland
inside. At its extreme, this can become fist fucking, which is
insertion of the whole hand. I've already mentioned postillioning
as a pleasant addition to the sex act, and also as a good
preparation for anal intercourse. Here I'd like to explain in more
detail how you can do it, and things to watch out for.
The index or middle finger is best used, being long and strong. The
finger must be well lubricated with spit or oil or Vaseline (don't
use any thing with soap, as this will upset the rectal eco-system),
and then placed at the anal opening. The outside can be caressed in
circles and mild probes. This is usually a very warm experience and
helps relax the are.
Make insertion by pressing gently and firmly inwards, wobbling the
tip a little as necessary. On the one hand, your finger won't go in
at all if the ass is tight as it can be. On the other, if the anus
is completely relaxed the finger will slide in with hardly any
effort. Postillioning is a great way to help someone explore their
rear and learn to loosen the anus-opening. Insertion is helped of
the ass-person pushes lightly out as of going to the bathroom. You
probably won't find anything inside the rectum, and whatever you do
find will be harmless. If you must have him absolutely clean inside
he can douche with an enema bottle and warm water.
Once inside, you'll feel the thick, strong, muscular ring which is
the anus, and beyond it the soft sides of the rectum. Keep at least
your fingertip beyond the anus, or contraction of the muscle will
cause the finger to pop out again. Once your finger is inside, you
can explore around, pushing it in as far as it'll go, curling it
around the anus, flicking it back and forth, finding the prostate
gland, This gland makes the fluid for ejaculation, and can be found
behind the testicles; if you stroke it during masturbation or
fellatio, it feels great (if it hurts a lot instead, it's probably
infected; if it doesn't feel like much of anything, you're probably
nervous). If you insert two fingers you can push them apart inside
as a way to stretch and loosen the anus. Just having the finger(s)
positioned inside while sucking or jacking-off is quite delightful,
while sliding them up and down at ejaculation can double or
quadruple the intensity. When it's time to finish, just pull the
finger out gradually, pushing down towards the legs with the
finger(s) while drawing the hand up towards the head.
Being positioned is another way to open yourself up to new
experiences. You may be nervous at first, from the newness of it;
it may not seem pleasurable at all. Since your anus/rectum is used
to nothing but excrement inside, a finger may cause you to feel
like going to the bathroom. This is to be expected at first, and
will disappear as you relax and get used to it. It's also easier if
you're sexually excited. Keep in mind that the finger can't harm
you unless it has a sharp nail or pokes violently.
14
FIST FUCKING
In fist fucking the whole hand (and even the forearm) goes up the
rectum. Some people seem to like this: they say it produces very
erotic sensations of their internal organs. Although fist fucking
can be very painful, it's not necessarily an S&M (sado-masochistic)
action; any two people can get into it who want to. You can do fist
fucking because the anus and the rectum are so remarkably flexible.
You start by bunching the fingertips together and inserting them,
lubricated, in the anus. Then you slowly work the fingers up and
in, as the anal sphincter relaxes. Finally, if the anus relaxes
enough, you'll be able to fit the whole hand (with the fingertips
still pressed together). Once in, you can clench the fist and slide
your arm in too. Of course, before you can be fist fucked, you must
really want it and be able to relax your anus. Fist fucking can be
very harmful if it bruises the prostate gland, causing infection,
or irritates anal sores you already have, or pierces the rectum
itself. If the rectum is broken, it's easy to get peritonitis, an
infection inside the stomach cavity, which can be fatal without
quick medical treatment. So, if you want to do &x0e%fist fucking,
be cautions.
15
RIMMING
Rimming- (also called "analingus") is another way to explore the
rear ends -
it's licking, tonguing, and sucking the anus. This might seem like
a strange thing to do, because asses are supposed to be dirty and
bad. Actually, they're not. Although it's possible to catch v.d. or
hepatitis from an infected person, fears of rimming are mainly
esthetic, that is, related to small, taste, and personal
preference. As with postillioning and anal intercourse, you can
always douche beforehand, eliminating any odors and being of utmost
cleanliness.
It's because the anus-opening is so delicately sensitive, and the
lips and tongue so warmly expressive, that rimming is enjoyed by
many people. It's also an easy thing to do, in any position where
the buttocks can be drawn far enough apart to admit the tongue.
Analingus is nice as part of Around the World, kissing and tonguing
the body all over. You can lick across the anus in soft, wet
strokes, or encircle it, going round and around languorously. You
can flick the tongue-tip rapidly, or insert it inside as far as
it'll go, pushing and stroking back and forth. You can brush the
lips gently over the spot, or such hard on the anus, as of trying
to draw it out. This is specially nice of combined with tongue
insertion. If, while you're being rimmed, you push down and relax
the anus as if shitting, it will expand a little outwards, giving
more area to caress and even nibble at.
It's also nice to combine analingus with scrotilingus, tonguing and
sucking his balls, In fact, the whole are between the legs, since
it's so protected, is soft and sensitive to touching and warmth.
16
GROUP SEX, S&M, AND OTHER SCENES
"THE ORGY"
STEPHEN AND MICHAEL WERE ALREADY NAKED ON THE FLOOR, THEIR GENITALS
ERECT AND TREMBLING. wHEN SEBASTIAN ARRIVED, mARTIN QUICKLY
RELEASED THE PRICK FROM HIS PANTS AND SLIPPED IT INTO HIS MOUTH.
bILL ENTERED GERALD FROM BEHIND. DENNIS, WHO WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE,
FOUND HIMSELF WITH A COCK IN HIS LEFT HAND, HIS RIGHT HAND, IN HIS
MOUTH AND IN HIS ANUS. PETER, EXCITED BY THE INSISTENT PRESENCE OF
WALTER'S TONGUE IN HIS ASSHOLE, SUDDENLY CAME IN ALLEN'S FACE.
HIBISCUS AND TAHARA FELL UPON SCRUMBLY AND SEPULCHRA. SURPRISINGLY,
THEY ALL CAME TOGETHER. I MYSELF MADE IT WITH CHRISTOPHER. I
FONDLED THE SWOLLEN ORGAN OUT FROM HIS CLOTHES AND SUCKED IT UNTIL
THE MILK OF HIS PENIS FLOWED IN MY THROAT. MANY OTHER WERE PRESENT.
I'VE FORGOTTEN THEIR NAMES THEIR PALE BODIES SQUIRMED ON THE FLOOR
LIKE LIBIDINOUS TROUT IN A SHALLOW STREAM.
-----JAMES MITCHELL
So far I've been talking about ways of sharing sex, about
techniques -what you move, how you move it, and what to watch out
for. And I've also been describing an emotional atmosphere, a
context of trust, sharing, gentleness, honesty, and warmth. But
there are some aspects of sex play which may be important to some
people that I've left out of the discussion. One thing I've omitted
is group sex, since I've only talked about you by yourself or with
a partner. But one's or two's are not the only combinations. I've
also ignored sex roles - being dominant or submissive, playing
master-and-slave, and so on. Many people get off on such roles and
want to know more about them. Another thing for some is fetishes,
objects of sex desire. And then there are also sex supplements,
aids like dildos and drugs to enhance your pleasure.
So for all of you who'd like to know more about these things, here
are sections introducing "group sex," S&M," "fetishes,"
"voyeurism," "sex aids" and "drugs." These sections are not long
and detailed, but short and suggestive, and certainly don't cover
the full range of sex interests. They're meant to encourage further
exploration if something interests you.
GROUP SEX
It may seem from previous topics that two people is the only and
ideal way to share sex and touching. But indeed, this would be a
narrow way of looking at things; pairing is not the be-all and end-
all of everything. It's only one out of may possibilities. Modern
western culture romanticizes and idealizes the couple as the All-
Enduring,
Totally-Satisfying way to go. One keeps searching for that perfect
mate, who'll supply everything.
This was not always the attitude of our society, nor of the other
societies. Pairing is a sexual pattern for reproducing the species,
and is found in all genitally sexual animals. But animals usually
change partners frequently, and in human cultures one relationship
does not usually exclude others, nor is the pair the only style.
Sometimes threesomes or group rituals of all different kinds are
allowed or encouraged. Variety and flexibility are key themes in
human behavior. There's certainly nothing wrong with pairing, as
long as it doesn't become a delusional obsession.
I'd like to briefly look at sexual sharing between three and more
men. This can involve discreet threesomes or hundred-person wild
orgies.
Where gay sexuality has been allowed, such groupings have almost
always happened. REading through the historical sections of the
past, you'll note that sex in groups is often described, sometimes
where everyone is sharing it, at other times where most are
watching, or in which there's a group of pairs. For masturbation,
fellatio, anal intercourse - all the ways - there are groups.
Earlier I reported ritual public masturbation in ancient Egypt an
opium gatherings in China. Groups like these have a variety of
purposes, religious communion, growth, and/or pleasure. In most
cultures including our own, sexual orgies have long been common.
Many southern European artists have left us paintings of "daisy-
chains," circles of men fucking, some of these depicting Egyptian
or Turkish ex-0silsileh (cuecle).
Today there are few if any ritual ways for getting together in
group sex. Public baths and an occasional private party are
possibilities. Indeed for those who visit gay bath houses, probably
one of the biggest reasons is having sex with many people, in
crowded "orgy rooms" and private cubicles. Many people like to
share themselves with a group, and sensual / sexual levels can
certainly be a part of this.
What it takes is the desire to do it and the facilitation of group
awareness towards this end. Any three or more people, under many
circumstances, are potential material for group sex, if all want it
and someone takes the initiative. When friends get together, they
share information and entertainment. Why not sex as well?
In my work as a massage-group leader at gay raps, I've often seen
group warmth and intimacy become sensual and sexual, and lead to
marvelously supportive, growthful experiences. The major problem
here is to avoid forcing anyone to participate; groups have the
uncanny ability to demand conformity, to the degree that it's
members are scared of not doing what everybody else wants. So
precaution must be taken against making group sex happen through
force or fear. Other than this, it's undoubtedly a good thing,
breaking through the social taboos against group warmth and touch.
Again, talk will help in the matter: if it seems some people would
like the idea, bring it up in the group as a possibility.
Usually some will begin touching and fondling. Once people get into
it, it's best to be fairly loose about who does what, folks doing
what they feel like; and remember, you don't have to participate.
Mutual masturbation is probably the easiest sexual thing, hands
going here and there. Or you can form a curl, doing yourself or
your neighbor - this is called a "circle jerk." Others may want to
get into fellatio or anal intercourse.
Fellatio os easy to do with three (and more). The classic style is
for one person to lie on his back. Another, then, kneels over him,
heads both pointing in the same direction. Then someone else can
kneel over the first person's face or lie under the second person's
legs. Such a chain can be extended to include however many people.
Informally speaking, any way people want to say/stand/kneel is
fine, and lost of variety is possible.
For anal intercourse the kneeling position can be used, people on
their knees or hands and knees, one behind the other. Such chains
are quite extravagant to watch or be in, but may be a little too
formal for the typical orgy or menage a trois.