From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Newsgroups: alt.sex,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.furry
Subject: Journal Entry 201 / 0057  [ Brieanna, Part 1 ]
Date: 26 Jan 1996 13:18:44 GMT
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Lines: 1162
Message-ID: <4eakbk$anu@news1.halcyon.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: coho.halcyon.com

Elenya, Yavar 6, 0057

    My head hurts.  Hurts?  It shouldn't hurt; for that matter, 
I shouldn't have a head.  At least, I shouldn't feel like I have 
one.  

    Let's try this again.  Do I have eyes?  Scan left, right.  
Yes, I have eyes, physical ones, so I try the eyelids.  They 
open.  Interesting. Apparently I'm not deceased, not yet.  
Typical.  Failure.  So what am I looking at?  

    Eyes aren't focusing.  Not surprised.  Wait.  Close them 
again. Do a few exercises, like Trill taught me all those years 
ago.  Try the eyes again.  Open.  Okay?  

    Okay, better.  Look around.  Wooden roof, couple of 
crossbeams. Good construction, but not typically Pendorian.  
Hmm.  Turn my head to see the rest of the room.  

    Doesn't work.  Neck's stiff as hell.  Wait.  Practice again.  
One muscle, two, two, three... again and again.  Force the fire.  
Try something easier.  A hand.  Toes move, good.  Try some more.  
Ankles. I'm getting on my feet, at least.  How long was I out, 
that I feel this bad?  

    Wait a minute.  This is familiar.  Think.  Where have I felt 
this?  

    Cryo.  Check.  Yes!  A dead monkey has been sleeping on my 
tongue.  At least, that's the way it tastes.  I was in cryogenic 
suspension. Odd, the last thing I remember was...  

    I tried to kill myself.  Yes, that was it.  Brain is NOT, 
repeat, NOT on-line.  Okay.  Acceptance.  I tried the old 
fashioned way, too...slit wrists and bath.  Stupid.  Should have 
realized that Dave would call for help the moment I was out.  
Didn't try hard enough.  Okay.

    Why did I try?  Think.  

    Nothing.  

    That's idiotic.  Got to be something.  Think.  Nothing 
comes.  No reason for the suicide.  Other than.  

    Depression.  Depression of the conceptual artist.  There is 
nothing left to live for, not because I've done it all, but 
because I know I can.  That's stupid.  

    Is it?  I don't know, it is true.  I can do virtually 
anything. Hmm.  Frustrated.  

    Let's try this again.  May as well get on my feet.  I'm not 
going to try again, at least not until I determine what's going 
on, where I am, and who saved me, and should I hate them or 
thank them, or both?  

    Slowly.  OUCH!  Shit, I'm stiff, I hate cryo.  If there's 
anything worse than waking up from coldsleep, I'm not sure what 
it could be.  The effort of sitting up makes my head spin, but I 
do it.  The band of muscle that attaches left shoulder to skull 
is tighter than anything, hurts like a hot poker.  I want to 
concentrate, banish the pain, but I can't summon the strength.  

    I stand... and fall to my knees.  Much better.  Can't stand, 
may as well crawl towards the door.  

    There is a door here.  Okay, crawl towards it.  Locked.  Is 
there another door?  Yes.  Okay, let me get my bearings.  
There's a locked door, a rather simple bed, a desk, a mirror, 
another door, and a big window.  Outside the window I see 
sunlight, a big tree, a willow, and beyond that, the cliff face 
of a mountain, not too distant, either.  Nice place.  Willow's 
cold, the leaves yellowing, although it's still early in its 
season, mostly green. I crawl for the other door, which is ajar, 
and peek in around the jamb.  It's a bathroom, pretty old-
fashioned too. Only thing even remotely unusual is the bidet, 
but that's an architectural preference.  My bladder screams in 
recognition, and I manage to gradually haul myself up, sit down 
on the damned commode and relieve myself.  

    My head swims, clears, and I see a glass on the sink.  Fill 
glass from sink, drink.  Cold, clear, feels wonderful going 
down.  Gods, then, it hurts!  Throat's raw!  

    Stupid.  Cryo.  Forgot that thick syrupy shit I'm supposed 
to drink afterwards.  Oh, forget it, who cares if my 
electrolytes are balanced?  

    Drink more, ignoring, for the most part, the pain signals.  
Try to rise, steady myself on sink and towel bar.  Look in 
mirror.  

    Gods I am a mess.  No beard, so I wasn't in cryo long.  Look 
at wrists.  Nothing, not even scars.  Good healing job, but 
there's a pain in the crux of my elbow.  Oh.  Intravenous 
scarring, they were taking care of me, in a serious way.  It'll 
go away, I'm familiar with it.  

    Walk, unsteady towards window.  Look out.  Same assessment.  
More trees, again in the beginning of Firith, the season of 
fading.  And there's...  

    What the?  I didn't design those!  

    And who's she?  Whoever, she's beautiful.  Thick, small 
blond curls, big frame, high sweet breasts, naked, freckles, 
looking Irish almost.  

    And who built her unicorn?  If it's a 'droid, it's from 
Grand Design, nobody else on Pendor makes them that well.  If 
it's not, I'm impressed, I thought nobody had reached my talent 
yet, at least not with mammals.  

    She vanished out of sight almost as soon as I got a good 
look at her.  She rode with just a blanket.  I looked.  I was on 
the second floor, but the window wouldn't open.  I pressed my 
hand to the glass, and it was warm to the touch, so I assume it 
was warm outside.  

    I began an intensive search of the room.  The bed was 
simple, as I'd said.  Small but comfortable, nothing fancy.  
Tried the desk...Hmm, interesting.  The top flips over, 
keyboard.  Okay, where's the...neat, the screen is in the 
mirror.  Good effect, hides a lot, but takes refocusing, it's 
like looking into a head's-up display.  Drawer's got a pen, 
paper.  Try the bathroom.  No razor in the medicine chest, in 
fact nothing at all in there.  Soap in the bathtub.  I smiled.  
I could slip and fall and kill myself.  

    Do failed suicides always think this way?  

    What's the vidmirror hooked to?  Try it.  Standard input, 
but no email output, apparently.  Look at the date.  57!  It's 
been FIVE YEARS!?  Where the Hell have I been?  

    Frozen solid.  

    Oh, yeah.  Waitaminute!  Run to the window.  Look.  Yeah, 
sun's overhead, can't see much otherwise, damned mountain in the 
way.  Assume for the time being I'm on Pendor.  Newslines 
Pendorian, at least.  Try a music program.  

    Nothing.  No audio throughput at all.  I guess I wait for my 
hostess.  I went and lay down on the bed.

              -               -              -

    "Ken?"  Soft voice, sweet and high pitched, with a middlin' 
southern accent, like from north Georgia on Earth somewhere.  I 
come to consciousness suddenly, flailing.  

    "Wha?..." I said.  "Easy, easy," she said.  My eyes came to 
rest on the young woman I'd seen before.  A better look at her 
face.  High cheekbones, soft, definitely Irish eyes.  But that 
accent!  

    "Who are you?" I demanded of my...captor?  Savior?  

    "Are you feeling all right, Ken?  Hungry?"  

    "Who are you?"  

    "My name's Brieanna Flanders.  Call me Brie."  

    "Brieanna Flanders?  There weren't any Flanders in my 
designs."  

    "I know.  I'm not anyone you know, or made."  Her voice was 
infinitely patient with me.  

    "That's impossible.  The year said it was '57."  

    "It is."  

    "Then we're still in the Pocket Realm.  You can't be from 
outside, yet, there is no contact with the outside.  The Gate is 
closed, and will be until '94."  

    "I'm from here.  I'm just not anyone you ever worked on."  

    I looked at her.  "Then where did you come from.  Everyone 
here is someone I worked on, except for one person, and you are 
not she."  

    "Oh, no?  Why couldn't I be Oenone?"  

    "Because Oenone reeks of magic, and you, my dear, are 
exactly what I see in front of me, nothing more, nothing less.  
You are not Paris' paramour."  

    "That's true.  Stupid bastard, she should have killed him 
when she had the chance."  

    "Brie...where am I?"  

    "The mansion."  

    "Sounds ominous, like number 2 pronouncing I'm in 'The 
Village.'"  

    "Not that bad, but the maps won't tell you where you are, 
and there's no place to go beyond the mountains, anyway."  

    "Then I am in 'The Village,' at least in that I'm not 
leaving anytime soon.  Am I number 6?"  

    "No, no, nothing like that.  You're Ken, and that's all."  

    "Are we alone?"  

    "For the most part, it's just you and me in this house.  
There's an SI, too."  

    "Not an AI?"  

    "Nope.  The only person you have to talk to is me.  Sorry."  

    "Don't be sorry.  It's okay.  So."  I sat up, slowly.  "Are 
you going to tell me where you're from?"  

    "No.  And I probably won't for a while.  Just take it for 
granted that I'm here, and that I'm a friend of a friend of 
yours, and I'm your friend as well."  

    "So.  Why am I here?"  

    "I'm not sure about that.  I think that's for you to 
decide."  

    "And you're here to help me make that decision."  

    "Well... yes."  

    "Are you going to help me make my own decision, or the 
'right' decision, in the eyes of your... friend."  

    "Your own.  At least, I hope I can.  We're pretty 
independent out here.  It's just you and me.  And the animals 
down in the stable."  

    "Yeah, I saw that.  Is that a 'ganic, or what?"  

    "It's a real unicorn, trust me."  

    I looked at her face again.   The words and the accent went 
together pretty well.  So I've never worked on you in any way, 
eh, Miss Brieanna Flanders?  Then who made you?  

    What are you?

              -               -              -

    "Are you hungry?" she asked, after a few minutes that I 
spent studying her face and she spent patiently waiting for me 
to finish.  

    "Actually, yeah, I am."  

    "Then let's go eat.  Drac, dinner in the dining hall."  

    A new voice, this one well modulated, but unless it was 
consciously blocked, obviously SI, said, "Yes, Brieanna."  

    I looked at her.  "Drac?  Your computer is named Dracula?"  

    "Sure, why not?  It's not AI, it's just a machine."  

    I suppose.  "Well, then, lead on to dinner."  She opened the 
previously locked exit to the bedroom, into what apparently was 
a main hallway and foyer.  There was a railing opposite the 
door, and below was a huge room, apparently the main room of the 
estate.  There were a couple of stuffed chairs, and some 
bookshelves.  The place had an air of age, but it couldn't be 
that old... could it?  And she did not belong, other than that 
her accent  matched the obviously southern plantation design.  
There was that wonderful smell of cured, aged wood.  

    She led on down the single staircase, and when we reached 
the bottom I looked around.  The carpet was oriental.  There was 
a grand piano in one corner, a saxophone next to it.  I couldn't 
play either, so I assumed they were both hers, but then she may 
have lied about being alone.  She led me through a pair of 
swinging doors into a room with a small square table with two 
chairs and candles.  She sat me, and then seated herself.  

    "So."  

    "So," she repeated.  "What do you want to know?"  

    "Where am I?"  

    "On Pendor."  

    "I know that!  That's more square klickage than all of the 
rest of the inhabited galaxy together, so that doesn't do me 
much good.  So, where am I?"  

    "Why don't you step outside and take a look?"  

    The old Shardik came on-line.  "Because I've been invited to 
dinner by a beautiful young lady, and I'm not about to step out 
on her to see the weather."  

    She smiled.  "You probably won't recognize it.  We're pretty 
far from either of the major inhabited sectors, and we're not 
close to the Farside colony, either."  

    At that moment, a kitchen droid, real old-fashioned type on 
wheels, no less, came out and began to distribute dinner to the 
two of us.  It was a well done bird, turkey, I'd have guessed, 
and was quite delicious. We continued the conversation as we 
ate.  

    "So you're not going to tell me where I am?"  

    "Nope.  I'm not even going to give you the sector number."  

    "Oh well.  So, am I a prisoner here?"  

    "A guest.  You've got free rein to the place."  

    "Even access to the kitchen?"  

    She smiled, a small, wan, smile.  "Yes, even access to the 
kitchen. And I won't hide the knives."  

    "I appreciate the gesture, but I don't think that's 
necessary."  

    "Then you won't try again?"  There was a sudden hope in her 
eyes, like a flash.  

    "I didn't say that.  But remember, you said your job was to 
let me make my own decisions.  Tell me, Brieanna, are you my 
savior?"  

    She smiled thinly.  "Nothing like that.  Your... savior... 
simply thought that you'd made a rash decision and decided to 
let you try and look at whatever questions and problem you had 
again."  

    I sat there and stared at her, trying to absorb what she'd 
said, and still trying to figure out who and what she was.  
Dinner was apparently over.  I excused myself, asking for 
directions to a washroom and permission for leave.  She gave 
both graciously.

              -               -              -

    Dark fell as suddenly as it always does, and a wild wind 
whipped past the house as I sat in my room.  There was a knock 
on the door. Startled, I went to answer it.  It was my warden.  

    "May I come in?" she asked.  

    "I suppose, don't see why not."  

    She entered and leaned against the wall of the closet.  "Are 
you upset that you're here?"  

    "Upset?  No, not really.  Why should I be?  I'm alive, after 
all."  

    "That's not funny, Ken.  Don't be bitter."  

    "WHY THE HELL NOT?  The most precious and personal decision 
one can make is to take their own life, and when the time in my 
mind came for me to exercise that right, you take that power 
away from me and imprison me somewhere on my own homeworld?  My 
warden is a beautiful young women who won't answer any of my 
questions, impossibly claims to not be a Pendorian, and won't 
tell me the way home!"  

    "I didn't say I wasn't Pendorian."  

    "You said you were nobody I worked on, and you weren't the 
child of anybody I worked on.  The only way that's possible is 
if you're Oenone, and you are so out of character with her, you 
don't even smell like her. You're a human, that's obvious, and 
you aren't any sort of android I know, your scent is too 
perfect. You aren't Pendorian."  

    "I am, trust me.  Just nobody you ever worked on."  

    "Okay, say that you are, it's a stupid argument.  You still 
won't tell me how to leave."  

    "You could walk."  

    "Oh, great.  And how far away are we from the nearest town 
or village?  That distance could be measured in light-minutes!"  

    "Actually, the nearest town or village would involve a 
considerable swim, walking in either direction."  

    "We're on the aspinward side?"  

    "Yes."  

    "Wonderful.  Nobody lives out here.  My best chance is 
waiting for Maha Oren to find his way by."  

    "Doubtful, his team is headed the other way, anyway."  

    "Oh, great.  Look, Miss Flanders, I'd really like to go to 
sleep, alone, if I may."  

    "Okay.  Will I see you in the morning?"  

    "If I feel like seeing you, maybe."  I led her to the door, 
and, admittedly, slammed it on her as she left.

              -               -              -

    I awoke the next day sometime after daylight, and began to 
look around for something to wear.  The less-than-comfortable 
clothes I'd had on yesterday were on the chair, but I had no 
desire to wear them, so I opened the closet and examined its 
contents.  

    Seems somebody knows what I like to wear, at least.  There 
were a lot of T-shirts, collared simple shirts, a few heavier, 
nicely-cut shirts, two vests with what looked like a million 
pockets, and several pairs of jeans.  I hoped silently that they 
fit.  In the drawers I found appropriate shorts and socks, and 
dressed myself comfortably.  

    I tried the window again.  It opened.  Figures.  Outside was 
cool and comfortable, and I took one of the vests along, the 
blue one.  

    I left the room and headed downstairs.  I realized that I 
had no idea what this house was like, and the mistress thereof 
was nowhere to be seen so I decided to look around.  The first 
room I headed for was where I assumed was the kitchen, and I was 
right.  The kitchen was incongruous.  It was done in a lot of 
stonework, and not many windows, like that of a medieval castle, 
and the robobutler looked so out of place I laughed.  I examined 
the drawers, and sure enough, she was true to her word.  I could 
find the knives if I wanted.  

    I examined the cold room and the larder, and found the 
supplies adequate.  I found some grains, some brown sugar, and 
some milk, so I assumed that that was breakfast.  Not bad.  

    I continued around, finding that a lot of the house was 
empty. Empty rooms, empty basement, empty hallways.  And 
everything was old, older than it should have been, older than 
it could have been.  There were a few truly Pendorian 
characteristics to the place, like the fact that there was 
power, but no outlets.  Everything had it's own power source, 
even the kitchen blender, or the electric keyboard I found in 
one room, complete with two speakers.  I got it to squeal a few 
notes.  

    I found a few locked doors, and I figured that there were 
good reasons they were locked, so I left them alone.  Even 
though, I thought, they could hold the stepping disk out of 
here.  Then again, they could simply be her bedroom doors.  They 
did concentrate towards the center rear of the first floor.  

    But there were other weird rooms that I didn't understand.  
If they were trying to keep me from trying again, they were 
doing a lousy job of it, whoever 'they' were.  I found a room 
with a couple of brass-enclosed chests, unlocked, and when I 
opened one I found... guns?  All sorts of guns, rifles, pistols, 
even one of my person favorites, a .45 Army Colt. And there was 
ammunition for them, too.  I took the .45, and, after checking 
the slide and action, loaded seven-plus-one and put it into a 
belt holster I'd found in the chest as well.  

    There was a wine cellar, again with very Pendorian wines in 
it, including varieties I did not recognize, although they were 
all dated some time ago.  This was all so weird, like I'd fallen 
into another, different reality from my own, yet almost like my 
own.  

    I found another room with an easel in it, and a half-done 
portrait of myself, apparently done by my captor.  It was a fair 
likeness, I decided, but it obviously needed work, since only 
half was done, the other in pencil sketch on canvas.  On an 
impulse, I fast-drew the pistol, but I decided against shooting 
my image.  Didn't want to put a hole in Brieanna's work, not 
yet, at least.  

    I decided, then, that it was time to try the front door, so 
I headed out that way, but on the way I passed the piano.  
Actually, it was a full Pianoforte, and it was well-tuned.  I 
can't play piano worth a damn, never did learn anything beyond a 
few simple melodies.  I've always been openly envious of people 
who can play.  And the saxophone, forget it.  I might be able to 
get a sound out of it, halfway between a squeal and a sneeze.  

    So the front door it was.  I opened it and stepped out.  The 
ground of the house stopped very short of the door, so I stepped 
out into the long grass and walked away from the house.  After 
about five minute, I turned around.  The house was in one corner 
of a large, grassy field, three edges of which were of huge 
primeval forest, and the final edge was a mountain cliff.  It 
was a good-sized mountain, and the cliff ran vertical for 
almost, oh, I'd say about four hundred meters.  Then I saw the 
joke.  

    When I realized what I was looking at, I almost died 
laughing. Most people probably wouldn't have gotten it, but it 
was funny.  The house was an American southern plantation-style 
design on the outside. What's funny is that there is nowhere in 
America where the mountain and the building exists together.  
There is nowhere in Dixie where you'll find mountains like that.  
Whoever built this had an interesting and subtle sense of 
comedy.  

    And a good knowledge of Terra's history.  Again, it pointed 
to Brieanna's lying to me somewhere.  

    Odd.  I haven't decided what I'm going to call my prison 
guard yet. Brie is too common, but do I then call her Brieanna 
or Miss Flanders? Gods, Miss Flanders sounds like an old school 
teacher.  Brieanna it is, then.  

    I looked up, then, along the ring.  Ring it was, so at least 
I was on a ringworld, although confirming that it was indeed 
Pendor would take some doing.  Although, I thought with a smile, 
there were no other ringworlds around, at least as far as I 
knew.  

    Glancing up, I watched for a few seconds to register the 
direction the shadows were moving and figure my concepts of 
'east' and 'west', and, true to her word, I figured we were 
aspinward of the ocean, and if that was the Vinyare' sea, then 
we were pretty far away from any inhabited region.  Great.  

    I walked around the side of the house, and as I did so 
something caught my eye.  The touchstone of the building was 
there, and engraved on it was "Paul Lewis, '54."  Okay, that 
confirms something else.  Paul at least had a hand in this.  
Figures, my first son doing this to me. Do I kill him yet, or 
what?  

    I continued on my walk.  Behind and slightly to the left of 
the house were a pair of buildings, one of which was open, the 
other of which had a large door on it.  I tried the one with the 
door first, as it was closest, and it opened.  

    Okay, this was not funny, anymore.  Lying on the cement 
floor of what appeared to be a garage was a full high-suit of 
Shirow powered armor, and it looked like garbage.  Pieces were 
torn out and the upholstery of the harness was shredded.  
Whoever allowed this to happen to his armor was really ignorant 
and shouldn't be allowed near a vehicle again in his life.  
There were servos scattered about the floor and covered with 
grease.  If Hitomi'd seen this, she'd have screamed. She 
virtually worships her armor.  

    I walked into the dark little garage and looked into the 
gutted armor.  There were cracks in the outer shell, too, and 
the faceplate was garbage.  The S.L.A. lenses were all missing, 
and one of the ears was snapped off.  I looked for one of the 
power switches in the lower arm, and found it.  Nothing.  I'm 
more partial to Stark or Haam armor, myself, but Hitomi swears 
the maintenance efforts are worth the power of Shirow.  I tried 
some of the alternate power sources, and they were dead, too.  I 
looked at the back, and both battery pods were missing, and the 
two PFusion tubes were cracked and drained.  I climbed over the 
chestplate and tried to get in.  Whoever wore this armor was a 
little shorter than I was, and a little heavier, but if I could 
find some stuffing, I could sew a new harness that would fit me.  

    Wait a minute.  I have no intention of wearing this armor.  
It doesn't work.  I climbed back out and headed towards the 
other building.  

    Horses.  It was a stable, again with a robot Maintenance 
Unit.  I asked the MU where its mistress was, but there was no 
answer.  Damned SI, it's not programmed to respond to my voice.  
Oh well.  There were three stalls, but only two had horses in 
them, one a grey stallion, the other a brown mare.  Not knowing 
much about horses, that's all I could tell you.  Except that 
they seemed to be in excellent condition, with good muscle tone 
and pelt color.  They were shoed, and their teeth were whole and 
healthy.  

    So what was the point of all this?  Was it some sort of 
amusement park for suicidal Shardiks?  If it was, it was a very 
poor job, I was not amused.  So what then?  

    The answer was right there, in front of my face.  It would 
be some time before I figured it out, though.  The pistol, the 
horses, the piano, the shredded powered armor, the beautiful 
girl.  All pieces of a puzzle.  Even the mountain.

              -               -              -

    Time passes quickly when there's very little to measure it 
against other than the time of days.  Of course, children grow 
up quickly, classes come to an end, even projects and spells 
have their durations, but when you're doing none of those 
things, but instead merely existing on a day-to-day basis, you 
don't notice the passage of time.  

    In any event, the newsline from the outside informed me of 
said passage, and it meant little.  About five weeks had passed, 
and the weather had gone from pleasant Autumn to cold Winter, 
and the first snows had come.  It wasn't sticking well, but at 
least it was very white where it did stick.  I had taken to 
daily walks, but these were going to be difficult soon.  

    My captor, Brieanna, is still here, and I see her daily.  
We've gone to the point of being informal around each other, 
seeing as apparently I have to put up with her; either that or 
take a hike, and I've nowhere to go.  

    Speaking of hiking, I did find a pair of good walking boots 
and a backpack, apparently suggestive that I can leave if I want 
to, but I no longer do.  There's a mystery here, and I want to 
solve it.  Of course, the mystery surrounds me.  Why am I here?  
I don't think I'm going to end up being told by Brieanna, but 
maybe I will.  

    I've also taken over some of the duties of the household.  
Brieanna suggested a fire in the living room, so I cut down a 
few trees and split some logs the other day.  Funny how doing 
physical work like that changes attitudes.  There was something 
more... more real... in doing things like that.  In cutting down 
a tree.  

    Not that I'm going to become a lumberjack, mind you.  But 
I've read a lot of books in Brieanna's library, almost to the 
point of saturation, and I'm becoming bored.  The other day I 
set up a holography set I found in one of the rooms, a room that 
had been empty a few weeks ago.  It was an enormous set of gear, 
and it took me all day to set it up in the field in front of the 
house.  I kept glancing up and praying for it to not rain.  It 
was overcast, but I hoped for the best.  Actually it started 
snowing the next morning.  

    But after about seven hours in the sun, I waited for 
nightfall. And when it came, I stuck in a laserdisc of a 
holographic realization of Shakespeare's King Richard.  About 
halfway through I began to do some of the parts myself, standing 
up and mimicking the actors on the video. Well, since it was a 
holographic realizations, the images filled a good deal of the 
field.  About halfway through Richard's curse to the King, I 
heard a giggle behind me.  Somewhat aghast at having been found 
out, I turned around.  

    Of course, It was Brieanna.  She said, "Don't stop, you were 
doing wonderfully."  

    "I don't do public performances," I replied, somewhat 
angrily.  

    "But why not?  You do an excellent Richard."  

    "You like Shakespeare?"  The fact that she spoke Anglic was 
something I already knew;  her library was full of the stuff.  I 
was surprised, however, that she also spoke some Arabic, a 
language I don't know.  

    "Of course.  He's fascinating, don't you think?"  

    "Well, yeah, but..."  The play continued on.  I hit the 
PAUSE button on the VHR.  The actors came to a dead stop, in 
mid-argument.  

    "Why don't you continue?" she asked again.  

    "Look, if you want to watch the play with me, sit down, but 
there is no way in Hell you're going to get me to continue."  

    "But I thought all humans like to copy their heroes.  I saw 
a movie some time ago, from your collection.  Risky Business?  
Same thing."  

    "Yeah, well.  Notice Cruise did that scene alone?  It's... 
well..."  

    "You're embarrassed.  Afraid that if you make a mistake, 
someone somewhere is laughing at you."  

    "Well, sure, wouldn't you be?"  

    "I don't know.  I've never really been in that position."  
Her eyes were dreamy for a moment, and then she said, "Ken, tell 
me...  You made all of this.  I mean, the Ring, the people, the 
whole thing.  Well, okay, you didn't make the life on it, but 
you changed it..."  

    "That's what a genetic engineer does."  

    "Yes, I know.  What I mean is, how can you be embarrassed 
about stumbling in something so simple as a line in a play when 
you so boldly set out to make all this?"  She gestured around 
her.  

    "Brieanna, I did not make all this.  These trees, that 
grass, the mountain, are all just natural products, spread out 
after they were imported from Terra.  As for the sentients, 
well, they're... You know, sometimes you are a pain, especially 
for a prison warden."  

    "I've told you, you can leave anytime you want."  

    "Yeah, right, and where am going to go?  Walk forever?"  

    "You could.  I know your capabilities."  

    "Oh, thanks.  Look, can I watch the rest of the play?"  

    "Oh, sorry.  Sure, go ahead."  

    I hit the PAUSE button and the play resumed.  We watched in 
silence, and when the play was over, we parted in silence, as 
well.

     Captivity, Week 12.  

    It's snowing out again.  The snow is now feet deep, and 
getting to my latest project is a task and a half unto and of 
itself.  I decided that, to stave off the insanity that boredom 
brings, it was time to work on the Shirow armor.  

    Well, damn, I hate Shirow's designs!  All right, so the man 
is talented beyond words when it comes to conceptual designs in 
powered armor.  But, hell, that doesn't mean maintaining one of 
these hunks of garbage is any fun.  

    The first thing was to check the PFusion tubes.  The 
compression rods were intact, and there was a reservoir, so, 
assuming I could reassemble the parts accurately, I could get 
full power into the suit.  So that was first.  

    Disassembled the power plant, tried to fix the reaction 
chamber. Okay, so, after examining the thing, I find the muon 
reactor is trash. Great.  Biggest problem is getting a laser and 
carbon short for this thing.  

    Found the laser.  Oh, well, no more Shakespeare.  
Disassembled the laser-disc player.  PFusions plants don't need 
a whole lot of laser power, just something to start the 
ionization process that contributes to muon release.  As for the 
carbon short, well, there's one less floodlight on the outside 
of the house.  Broke it to get the carbon rod. Spent hours with 
a micrometer and a nailfile getting it to the right size.  

    Reassembled the whole mess, hoping against the odds that 
everything was right.  Eventually, the hydrogen nuclei would 
fuse.  Hopefully.  

    In the mean time, I was feeding power to the suit through a 
disassembled power receiver I stole from some servobot.  The 
garage is also cold as a seal's teat, but that's okay.  I've got 
some heavy clothing.  

    Computer's okay, but the memory's wiped.  Means I'm going to 
have to write some serious learn-by-doing routines and then try 
to maneuver in a suit that doesn't want to maneuver.  

    Made a kiln, too, to compress the ceramics I needed for the 
outer hull of the thing.  Also spent a few hours sewing a new 
harness.  

    All in all, it took me about four weeks of heavy, constant 
physical work to get it nearly done.  I walked out with a small 
lasertape player and proceeded to feed my new software routines 
into the computer through an interface in the main cabin.  First 
mistake.  

    Second mistake was kneeling across the upper arm section.  
See, Shirow armor has four arms;  Each pair on a side responds 
according to the way you move your arms inside the lower set;  
Those are more heavily shielded, but they slide open to expose 
your hands if you want to do delicate work;  In this case the 
upper arms are rotated out of the way.  The upper arms are for 
combat, like picking up and throwing cars and other suits of 
armor.  Oh, and in case you're wondering, if I keep referring to 
this thing as a 'suit' don't be put out; truth is, the damn 
thing's a vehicle, three meters tall.  That it's vaguely shaped 
like a man has nothing to do with its classification.  

    In any event, the program went in rather quietly and I hit 
the red reboot button to bring the processor on-line.  The upper 
right arm shuddered underneath me, and pain exploded across my 
right leg and my chest.  I went flying until I hit the wall of 
the garage, where my left shoulder and head received equal 
treatment.  Then I fell to the ground, doing just a little more 
damage to my already hurting body.  

    After a few seconds of intense concentration, I looked up.  
The right arm had slammed against the ground, and was shuddering 
violently.  Damn.  I tried to right myself.  I was suddenly very 
hot, and I felt something wet against my cheek.  Great, my head 
was bleeding.  I got into a sitting position, only to realize... 
Oh, shit, at least three ribs are floating free.  I'm a mess.  I 
suddenly noticed how much it hurt to breathe.  

    But I kept breathing.  I'm damned cussed about something 
like breathing;  I'm rather fond of it.  I found, to my 
pleasure, that I hadn't penetrated the lung lining;  Cardio-
vascular system was still intact.  Great.  

    So what did this mean?  I could wait until Brieanna noted 
that I hadn't shown up for dinner.  Not really an option.  I 
could think of a dozen nasty things that could happen before 
then, not the least of which was losing bladder control.  Never 
mind; that's already happened.  

    That's when I heard Brieanna;  She was heading for her 
horses, probably to exercise them.  I gathered my breath; Oh, 
Gods! that hurt! and shouted, once "Brie!"  The effort made my 
head spin.  

    I heard her shout back, but I didn't understand the words.  
I heard her footsteps crunch a little closer through the snow, 
and I heard her say, "Ken?"  

    "Brieanna?" I panted, barely above a whisper.  

    She must not have heard me, as she came closer.  "Ken?  Are 
you okay?"  She must have been right outside.  

    "Brieanna?  I'm hurt."  Now that's an understatement.  

    She opened the side door, and when she saw how much of a 
mess I was, she ran to my side.  "Don't touch me, yet!" I 
screamed.  

    "What?"  

    I coughed.  "Broke...broke a few ribs.  Maybe a leg, maybe 
the shoulder.  Definitely concussed; don't let me pass out.  
Talk... talk to me."  I hacked again, but no blood came up.  I 
was at least somewhat intact, internally.  

    "Stay right here."  She was suddenly business-like.  It 
occurred to me that whoever set her here had made sure she was 
qualified to keep me alive, if I so chose.  So she had to have 
medical training.  

    She disappeared out into the snow, and returned in about 
eight long minutes, with two of her maintenance units.  

    "I'm going to load you onto a stretcher."  And she did, with 
me screaming in absolute agony.  She ignored me.  They trundled 
me towards the mansion, I assume.  I don't know.  Somewhere 
along the way, despite my warning to her, I passed out anyway.  

    So much for my theory.

              -               -              -

              -               -              -


    When I awoke, I was indeed in a different room, and an IV 
was in my arm, with a couple of bags hanging from it.  How 
quaint, I thought, IV.  My ribs were wrapped, and I was doped to 
the gills on some sort of painkiller, probably a somewhat 
addictive opiate.  

    Wonderful.  After I get out of bed, I get to go through 
withdrawal.  I thanked Osiris that I'm not the addictive type 
personality.  I checked my motion.  

    Great.  I've got my right arm.  And that's about it.  

    I sat and contemplated my condition.  What was I going to do 
in my present condition?  And where was I?  

    Well, the scent of place told me I was in the mansion, 
still, so my medical emergency hadn't gotten me out of whatever 
prison it was intended to be.  But, there was a strong presence 
of Brieanna's here, so I assumed I was in one of her private 
rooms.  

    That's when I saw it.  I'd been avoiding the idea for 
sometime. But there on the table was a cyberinterface net, but 
not one like I use; this one was an induction cyber-cyber link.  
Brieanna was an android.  

    That's impossible.  You can make AI's that size, and you can 
stuff them into android bodies that are virtually 
indistinguishable from human, but there are always things that 
give an android away.  

    Like their scent.  Can't make an android smell exactly like 
a human, no way, no how.  Like their body temperature.  I'd seen 
Brieanna's IR signature once, through a rifle scope I'd been 
tinkering with (No, I did NOT point a rifle at Brieanna), and 
she was human.  Even a 'chassis' type design tends to be too 
cool to be perfect, and a 'chassis' breath is never even close.  
Like her aura.  I'll never be a competent mage; It's too much 
effort and tech can do ninety-nine percent of what magic can, so 
why bother?  But I knew enough; she was human.  

    So what was that link for?  My mysterious savior?  Unlikely; 
I was convinced that this was a plot by Dave, Carroll and Paul.  
An agent?  Why bother, Brieanna could just make her own reports?  

    So what was the damned link for?  I decided it wasn't worth 
bothering about in my doped condition, and fell back into dark 
slumber.

              -               -              -

    When I awoke, a few hours later, I was pleased to find my 
warden sitting on the bed next to me.  "Hi," I managed to croak.  

    "Hi yourself.  You had me frightened."  

    "Thanks.  I guess it'd have been bad to lose your best 
prisoner."  

    "You're still bitter about being here."  

    "No, not really.  Just the drugs, the pain, and the 
frustration talking.  I'm sorry, Brie, but it hurts like Hell to 
be slammed up against the wall by a Shirow PAPA."  Personal 
Assault Powered Armor.  

    "I imagine.  Well, I'll tell you the prognosis, above and 
beyond the fact that you're going to live.  You broke four ribs, 
and I had to set one surgically, so under that wrap is a lot of 
scarring, but in your case that'll fade away.  The right leg is 
also shattered, and it's set as well.  The ceramics are 
chemically coded, so I can take them out almost at will, but 
you'll be needing them for a few weeks, at least. The shoulder 
is also torn up, but not so bad.  You should have both arms back 
in about a week.  In the mean time, you sit right where you 
are."  

    "And where am I?"  I asked.  

    "The bedroom next to mine.  I've moved your stuff down, and 
I've given Drac a limited set of instructions to follow to your 
voice."  

    "Thanks" I said, dryly.  That the SI she had responded only 
to her annoyed me.  

    "I've got my reasons.  It's violating my parameters just to 
give you control of one maintenance unit.  But I figure this is 
an emergency. I'd hate for you to be bedridden AND bored, and 
I've got work of my own to do."  

    "Brieanna."  I reached out to touch her, but she was out of 
reach.  

    "Hmm?"  

    "I won't ask what your work is, you probably won't tell me.   
But, thank you.  In your own special way, you're doing a great 
job."  

    She smiled.  "Thanks.  I appreciate that.  Now get some 
sleep." She rose.  "Or at least, settle down and accept the fact 
that you're going to be in there for a few weeks."  

    "I will."  

    "Bye."

              -               -              -

    "Hi," Brieanna said as she walked in.  

    "Hi yourself."  

    "Feeling better?"  

    "Well, it's nice to have both arms working.  I can turn 
pages by myself now."  

    She smiled.  "That's good.  What 'ya reading?"  

    "The Art of Professional Homicide, by Gurney Halleck."  

    "Oh.  Planning on killing someone?"  

    "Who is there to kill?  You?  Would that do me any good?"  

    She shrugged.  "Would it make you feel any better?"  

    "I sort of doubt it.  You've been good to me, for a warden."  

    She smiled then, untroubled apparently at my repeated 
attempts to jibe her by comparing her present career to that of 
a jailer.  "Anyway," she continued, "I brought you something you 
might like to try your hand at."  

    "What?"  

    She reached into the small duffel she'd carried in and 
deposited in my lap a... "A flute?  What's this for?"  

    "Well, you told me you liked Ian Anderson, so I figured 
while you were bedridden like this, you might appreciate a 
chance to at least play with one."  

    "Brie, I told you... I have absolutely no musical skill 
whatsoever.  

    "I heard you playing Chariots of Fire on the piano a few 
weeks ago. That's not no skill!"  

    "Oh come on..."  

    "Listen to me.  That's not an easy piece.  I've looked at 
it, and it's in D-Minor, not an easy key."  

    "Oh, yes it is.  Vangelis only uses four different chords, 
and as for the key, it's every white key slid down to it's next 
black key, except for F and C."  

    "And you say you have no musical skill.  Listen to you.  
You're talking about it in a musician's way.  Of course you can 
learn music. You just never put any effort into it."  

    "But..."  She's patronizing me.  

    "Ken, I don't give a damn if you never touch that thing 
again.  But at least, give it a try."  

    "Okay."  

    "Promise."  

    "No, and I will not let you listen to me make a fool of 
myself."  

    "Even after you told me all those wonderful jokes?"  

    "Even then.  That was performance; this is practice.  
Besides, doing that sort of thing comes easy to me; I'm auretic, 
and gestures come easily, so doing skits like that is easy."  

    "Okay.  I'll come by and see you later?"  

    "Sure."  

    Why in God's name had I told her I like Anderson?  Because 
he's a great musician, with a hell of a talent?  I picked up the 
flute and began to fiddle with it.  I managed a squeak.

              -               -              -

    She walked in the next day to look in on her charge, and I 
was feeling a little better.  Hadn't gotten much of anyplace 
with the flute, but at least I was figuring out what notes went 
where. The damned thing was complicated.  Whoever invented the 
thing should be slow-roasted.  

    What she wore when she entered really piqued my interest.  
She came in wearing what looked like mutant riding boots and an 
electric guitar.  

    "What's all that?" I asked.  

    "This?  This is my practice gear.  I'm learning guitar.  
There are speakers in the boots so I can hear."  

    "You're kidding."  

    "No, really."  You know, I'm rather fond of her soft 
southern accent all of a sudden.  

    She distracted me again by hitting a riff on the guitar.  
Whoa. Those little speakers in her boots put out a lot of sound. 
She hit a few dials that I was unfamiliar with on the guitar and 
dropped both the buzz and the volume, until it was at a 
civilized level, and proceeded to play a few things for me.  

    "Well?" she asked.  

    "Not bad.  Certainly a lot better than I am.  Guitar is not 
my instrument."  

    "Is the flute?"  

    "I doubt it.  It's not a keyboard instrument.  But I'll work 
at it.  

    "I could bring the Korg in here."  

    "Naah.  Let me play with this thing before I retreat into 
the simplicity of a synthesizer," I said.  

    She shrugged.  "Okay, your choice.  Tell me, though," she 
said, changing the subject, "are you planning on working on the 
armor when you're well?"  

    "I don't see why not.  Why shouldn't I?"  

    "Well, it almost killed you this time."  

    "I'll be more careful."  

    She sat down on the bed next to me, and covered my hand 
gently with hers.  "I worry about you."  

    I looked away.  "It's your job."  

    "No, it's not!  Look at me.  I'm your... your whatever you 
want to call me, Jailer, Healer, whatever.  But I do it because 
it's what I am, not because I'm hired or because of any damned 
sense that I need quote the all-father unquote."  

    Looking into her eyes, I realized the one last straw was 
gone; there was no way in hell she was anything else than human. 
She was also about to cry.  I made the classic "come here" 
gesture with my hand, and when I could, I grabbed the blouse she 
was wearing with my hand and pulled her towards me, until she 
was about two cm from my face.  She looked into my eyes with a 
momentary confusion, and then, realizing what I was doing, 
descended on me, kissing me.  

    Our tongues met, and hers was soft and kind to mine as we 
danced in each others' mouth, and I was lost in the pleasure of 
the kiss for as long as it went on.  Which was quite a while.  

    After what felt like a long time that was too short anyway, 
she broke away.  "Why'd you do that?"  

    I shrugged, felt ribs settle painfully.  "Because I wanted 
to."  

    "Did you really?"  She asked, her eyes full of both 
nervousness and wonderment.  

    "Yeah..." I smiled.  "Yes, I did.  You're a good kisser."  

    "You're not angry towards me, then?"  

    "I haven't been angry with you in a while.  I just didn't 
want to get intimate with my warden."  

    "Oh."  She gathered up her guitar.  

    "Hey, where are you going?" I asked.  

    "I need... I'd like to attend to some other things.  I'll be 
back later."  She left hurriedly.  

    Damn.  I wanted to be with her a little longer.  She's 
probably left to report to her co-conspirators.  Leaving me 
frustrated.  

    She's a damned good kisser.  And what in hell am I going to 
do with an erection on the wrong side of a lower-body cast?

--
"Journal Entry 201 / 0057  [ Brieanna, Part 1 ]"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales
are copyright (C) 1989-1995 Elf Mathieu Sternberg.  Redistribution of
this work for profit is reserved to the author.  Redistribution by
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Any redistribution must include this copyright notice intact.
--
Elf Sternberg            rational romantic mystic cynical idealist
elf@halcyon.com          Where evolution is outlawed, only outlaws evolve
Public key available                http://www.halcyon.com/elf/index.html