From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Newsgroups: alt.sex,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.furry
Subject: Journal Entry 212 / 0164  [ Ambassadors ]
Date: 9 Feb 1996 13:18:42 GMT
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Lines: 1029
Message-ID: <4ffhji$o3u@news1.halcyon.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: coho.halcyon.com

Seren, Narquel 1, 0164

    "Kennet?"

    The shout from the command cabin jolted me awake from yet 
another short catnap.  The four-day transit time to Terra was 
trying on my nerves and stamina; Kangaroos are great 
trans-atmospheric shuttlecraft, but they're cramped inside.  
Information is light, so I had plenty of reading, music, video, and 
even writing to keep myself occupied if I so desired.  Consumables 
such as food are not, and our technology in that field isn't as 
advanced as Terra's, so my stomach, and I guessed the stomachs of 
my five companions, were not so content.

    I groaned audibly as I creaked out of my chair, stiff and sore, 
and walked forward on velcro slippers to the CC.  I grabbed hold of 
a support strut and leaned in casually, looking down at our lovely 
Felinzi pilot.  "What's up?"

    She didn't look up from her console as she said, "You said 
advise you when we were leaving hyperspace.  Ten minutes."

    "Mph," I agreed tiredly.  I noted the copilot's chair was 
empty.  "Shtamed taking a nap?"

    "Yep," she replied.  "Go ahead, have a seat."

    I eased myself into the red-upholstered chair and strapped the 
harness on, looking over the ever-bewildering array of readouts, 
displays and consoles.  In the first six years of Pendor's shift to 
a space-faring culture, many people had been surprised at the 
sudden rush of people anxious to get "out there."

    I had not been so surprised.  I'm so fully aware of diversity 
that I was sure we'd have hundreds of talented starstruck 
Pendorians anxious to take their place as crewfen.  Pendorians who 
would understand why I insisted on having a small crew learn about 
zero gravity and spaceflight  even before we lived in a place with 
stars in the sky.  What frustrated me was that my own rise into 
space was, for me, painfully slow.  I had taken classes in orbital 
and special mechanics, starship maintenance and so forth, but I 
wasn't as quick a learner as many.  I had expected more from 
myself.

    I blinked at the controls, forcing myself to think of what I 
wanted, reached for the keyboard and dialed a plus-z overhead view 
of our ship's predicted path, closing in on a time-tolerant view of 
the approaching ex-hyperspace window.  Eight minutes to go.

    As I watched the clock tick down, a thought that had been 
nagging me for the past day finally clicked in my head.  "K'meh?"

    "Sir?"

    "Uhm..."  I paused to collect my thoughts.  "Neither P'nyssa or 
anyone else with whom I feel I have a comforting relationship with 
came with me on this trip.  I, uh... well, first of all, I want you 
to stop calling me 'Sir.'  That 'Kennet' you addressed me with 
earlier is fine."  I swallowed hard, thinking about how sometimes 
dealing with people was so very easy, and then at times like this I 
couldn't get out a single word.  "You and I were talking rather... 
comfortably yesterday, and I'd like to ask if you'd consider 
sharing my room."  I snorted a soft laugh at my own reluctance.  
"My bed."

    K'meh didn't even blink at the invitation.  "I thought you had 
the invitation of Dr. Stoneman."

    I smiled, checked the clock, and placed my hand over hers.  
"Dr. Stoneman and I have every intention of having dinner together.  
If something else develops out of that, which I doubt, well... Let 
me be honest, K'meh... I don't like to sleep alone."

    She laughed freely, tossing her head back.  "So," she said 
loudly, recovering, "Am I a roommate, or backup?"

    I blushed, embarrassed.  "Maybe a little bit of both."

    She pulled her hand free from under mine, and then laid it atop 
mine reassuringly.  "I need a roommate, and I can't think of anyone 
I'd rather have."

    Before I could answer, there was a curious lurch, but it felt 
as if  it were coming from inside my skull, rather than against the 
harness, which seemed to move not at all.  K'meh was suddenly busy.  
"Kanga Two, Kanga Two."

    "This is Kanga Two," the radio announced cleanly.  "That you at 
the helm, K'meh?"

    "Affirmative, Segio.  How's your compliment?"

    "We're fine.  Nice scheduling; we came out clean."

    "Nice to drive with you, Seg.  See you on Terra."

    "Right.  Stay in touch."

    "Will do.  Out."  She turned her attention to the navigation 
computer.  "We're an hour out from Luna Insertion Orbit, and it 
looks like we'll be coming along the right path so we should be 
landing at Tycho in slightly under two hours."

    I nodded.  "Sorry about the stop at Luna."

    She smiled and pointed around herself towards the back.  "The 
scientists wanted a Luna conference.  Besides, everyone wants a 
past they can touch," she finished mysteriously.

    I settled back into the chair and looked at her curiously, but 
decided not to continue the conversation.  Instead, I summoned up 
the collection of short stories by Edgar Allan Poe that I'd been 
reading earlier.  Eventually, I leaned back in my chair and napped.

              -               -              -

    "Vatare'," the voice said, someone shaking my shoulder.  "I'm 
going to need the co-pilot's position for landing."

    "Eh?" I said, waking quickly.  "Oh," I said, smiling, "sure."  
I creaked against out of my comfortable seat, handing it back to 
flight specialist Shtamed.  I drifted back to my equally 
comfortable passenger chair and pulled the harness back on there as 
well.  "You have one minute to secure positions," K'meh announced, 
"before we detach from the hyperdrive module for descent to the 
lunar surface.  Please make sure you are all strapped in securely."

    The actual landing took only fifteen minutes more.  Although I 
had put off thinking about it for the past couple of days, now that 
we were actually coming close to Tycho Base my anxiety level was 
increasing with every diminishing meter.  I tried to relax.  It had 
been, for me, centuries since I had last spoken to Victoria 
Stoneman face-to-face.  I looked down at my hands, still perfectly 
smooth and relatively untouched by age or effort.  I knew 
Victoria's wouldn't be the same.

    The Kanga came to a gentle, perfect touchdown on the lunar 
terrain.  Although I had always been an avid reader of "science 
fiction," and had been a member of a spacefaring race for nearly 
fifty years, this was my first visit to Earth's moon, that object 
that had hung overhead for so much of my youth.

    We were lowered into a receiving bay, and then the entire 
platform started to move across the bay, apparently on some sort of 
giant truck.  The same philosophy that had led to the development 
of the huge tractor- carriages that hauled space vehicles out to 
their launch pads apparently  had been adapted for use on Luna.  
The truck pulled into a smaller bay, and airlock doors 
double-sealed behind us.  There was a delay as air was pumped into 
the airlock, and then the doors in front opened, leading us to a 
pressurized maintenance bay filled with a large collection of 
uniform spacecraft, none of which were ever intended for 
atmospheric flight.

    "The outside is apparently safely pressurized," K'meh announce.  
"At least, I hope it is... there are humans out there working in 
shirtsleeves.  I'm going to open both doors on the airlock 
sequentially."  The outside doors opened first, followed by the 
inside doors; there was just a slight >pop< as the pressure outside 
and in equalized.

    "After you, Kennet," said the Uncia medic who had come to Luna 
to give his presentation on xenophysiology and space medicine.  I 
nodded and slowly stepped down the self-extending steps onto to 
vaguely ellipsoid landing platform.

    A stairway ramp was rolled up to the platform and a tall, aging 
Caucasian human with swept, black hair and grey eyes bounded up, 
followed by a small party, in the center of which I spied Victoria.  
He crossed the platform assuredly and held out his hand.  "How do 
you do?  I'm Martin Scheider, Commander of Moonbase Tycho.  
Welcome, and welcome to United States Territory."  He held out his 
hand.

    I took it and shook comfortably.  "Glad to be here," I said.  
He smiled in response, and I thought I would call his smile 
'charming.'  I wondered how much of that smile was honest, and how 
much of it he reserved for the politicians he had to deal with on a 
daily basis.  Most of it felt honest, to me.

    "I understand that the three Pendrii behind you are here for 
the conferences on extra solar exploration, but I am also led to 
understand that you personally are here to visit Dr. Victoria 
Stoneman?"

    I coughed politely and said, "Yes; Dr. Stoneman and I have been 
corresponding for a number of years, and seeing as I was going to 
be in the neighborhood I requested clearance to land and visit."

    "I received the information five days ago."  I wondered how the 
information had been worded.  As a request, or orders?  He 
continued.  "I would like to introduce various members of my staff.  
This is Wilton Marchoff, my deputy director," I shook hands with 
her, "Elizabeth Knight, my chief medical officer, and I believe you 
already know my head  of Physical Sciences, Victoria Stoneman."

    I shook hands with Dr. Knight before bowing deeply to Victoria.  
"Hello, Victoria.  You're looking wonderful for eighty-two years."

    "As are you, Ken."  Her smile was dazzling.  She held out her 
hand and I kissed it;  As I had realized earlier, her skin was thin 
and fragile, projections of her great age upon her.  I felt 
saddened by her suddenly, just standing there.

    Commander Scheider seemed slightly surprised by the familiarity 
of the exchange, but he recovered quickly and said, "Well, let's 
have your crew settled into their cabins.  I understand that you 
and your flight crew will be heading on to Moscow in a few days."

    "The day after tomorrow, at 19:00 Greenwich Mean Time," K'meh 
replied.  Is there a problem with that scheduling?"

    "Just give us six hours notification and we'll have a clearance 
ready for you," said a broad-shouldered man standing with Commander 
Scheider's party.  "Does your ship require any particular type of 
refueling or maintenance?"

    "Not that it isn't already getting," Shtamed replied.  "It's 
the atmospheric insertions that really tear them up, and we have a 
facility at New Boeing Field to do that sort of maintenance work."

    As we were led into the underground moonbase (a trip which 
involved a short hop in a tracked tube), I noticed K'meh glancing 
about nervously.  We were shown our temporary quarters, and when 
the doors closed I dropped my bag and gave her a tight hug.  
"Feeling claustrophobic?" I asked her.

    "A little," she admitted.  The quaver in her voice gave away 
just how big "a little" was.

    "We just spent four days cooped up in a Kangaroo.  Compared to 
that, this is spacious.  It's bigger than the entire cabin!"  

    She smiled.  "Forgive me if I don't trust Terran technology."

    "Now, now," I chided.  "Nobody has died from a hardware failure 
in nearly two decades."

    "What about that big blowout four years ago?  A window and 
three successive bulkheads all failed!"

    "You know that was sabotage,"

    "And that's supposed to make me feel more comfortable about 
being in a Terran facility?" she replied.

    "Nobody died from it."

    "Two of their security officers were nearly frozen to death and 
asphyxiated."

    "They survived, didn't they?"

    "They lost fingers and toes."

    "They got them back," I said, giving her another squeeze.  I 
decided not to tell her about Victoria.  "Besides, after four days 
without a shower, I think we both need one.  Maybe two."

    She sniffed at herself delicately, wrinkled her nose and said 
"If I was as much of a feline as I appear to these humans to be, 
I'd lick myself clean."

    I laughed at the gesture and said, "Would you like to take one 
together?"

    "That sounds wonderful," she agreed, stepping free of my arms 
and locating that bathroom.  From within I heard her voice say, 
"Then again, maybe not.  Have you seen the size of their 
showerstall?"

    I poked my head in and looked.  She was right; it would barely 
hold one of us, much less two.  "On the other hand... take a look 
at the water restrictions."

    She read them carefully, sighing.  "How are we going to do 
this?"

    "We take one together, pooling our ration so that you get as 
wet as possible, we turn up the heat lamps in the bathroom, and 
then we rinse off the same way."

    "Okay, let's try it," she said, shrugging out of her flight 
uniform.  Inside, she did smell like an unwashed cat, a very 
unwashed one.  I was quick to grab the showerhead and play the 
streams all over her body, turning on the shower massage portion to 
drive the pressurized water under her fur.  She giggled in places 
when I did that.  Once she was wet I ran it over myself just as 
quickly, then turned the water off.  "Do you have soap?"

    "In the black bag," she pointed.  "It's the brown bottle."  I 
found the wide, plastic squeeze bottle of soap, splashed some in my 
hands and ran then over her torso, starting at her neck and sliding 
down quickly.  "Smells good," I said.  "Is that clove oil?"

    "Yep," she replied, purring softly as my hands ran down her 
chest.  Normally, I tend to think of pilots as being very thin, 
light people.  K'meh's body could only be described as lush.  Her 
hips were wide, her breasts were very full, and her shoulders were 
broad.  Her fur was an almost-white grey liberally polka-dotted 
with teardrop-shaped spots of brown streaked with gray, the spots 
thinning out at her neck and between her thighs, although they 
seemed quite dense at the base of her spine.  She was just as tall 
as I was.

    I had a hard time ignoring how alluring she was when I ran my 
hands under her breasts to get the soap up against her pelt, and I 
don't think she minded too much when I lingered there longer than 
was necessary.  I had her turn around and gave her back similar 
treatment, rubbing my hands in small, tight circles to massage her 
neck.  She purred softly and leaned her head against the yielding 
wall of the shower.  "Rub harder," she purred pleadingly.

    I pushed in harder, down around her spine and between her 
shoulderblades, trying to ease the pressure of 120 or so hours of 
flight time.  Although the computers on board had taken much of the 
effort off her hands, none of us were completely relaxed-- just 
sitting makes me tense sometimes.  She purred softly, collapsing 
against the showerstall wall and letting me hold her up as I rubbed 
her.  I slowly worked my way down and began caressing her hips and 
buttocks; the sounds coming from her muzzle were positively 
ecstatic.  She moaned softly as my hands pressed into the tight 
flesh of her thighs, as much for the massage as for the soap, 
kneeling down and working down to her calves and finally her feet.  
"I'd like to do this part when we're dry."

    "That sounds wonderful," she sighed.  "Would you like me to 
wash you as well?"

    "Please... but be quick.  I don't want the soap on you to dry 
suddenly and give you a rash."

    "It won't be that long," she replied, smiling and trading 
places with me, running her soap along my chest with her paws.  I 
suddenly understood why she had reacted so vocally to my touch; 
after four days of wearing the same clothes and sitting in the same 
position, just to be touched by another person was sheer bliss, 
never mind that she was massaging me just as firmly as I had her.  
Her hands were just as sure, rubbing my neck, back, buttocks, 
thighs.  I nearly passed out, it felt that wonderful.  I wanted to 
sleep, and sleep for real.

    When she was finally done, I turned around and grabbed the 
showerhead.  "In," I ordered.  She smiled and got in as I again ran 
the water over her head, her chest, teasing at the fur to get the 
soap out of all of it.  When she was rinsed, I turned the head on 
myself and rinsed off quickly.  "Whew," I sighed.

    "Yeah," she replied.  "After that, I feel ready for sleep."

    "Computer?" I asked aloud.  There was no response.  "I thought 
they  had vocal-control computers on Tycho?"

    "Maybe you need to address a terminal or something," she said 
thoughtfully as she toweled off.  Being furred, she needed more 
time than I did to get the water off her.

    "I'll go take a look."  Without a concern for modesty, I walked 
into the main room and found what looked like a keyboard terminal 
with a condenser microphone.  The wall appeared to be a wide-screen 
display.  I toggled the 'power' bar in the upper-right-hand corner 
of the keyboard and the screen came up with a menu.  "Computer?" I 
inquired aloud.

    "Listening," came back a flat and unpleasant male voice.

    "Where is Doctor Victoria Stoneman?"

    "Doctor Stoneman is in her laboratory," the computer replied.

    "Can you please connect..." I suddenly realized that I was 
still naked.  I leaned far out of the chair I was sitting in to 
grab a long nightshirt from my bag and slipped it on.  

    "Repeat, please," the computer responded.

    "Can you please connect me to Doctor Stoneman?"

    "I am inquiring Doctor Stoneman right now."  I cursed under my 
breath about stupid computers and computer programmers.

    Finally the screen cleared and Victoria peered out at me.  
"Ken!" she responded cheerfully, smiling.

    "Hi, Vicki," I replied.  "You're looking swell."

    "You too," she said.  "Are we still having dinner tonight?"

    "When's 'tonight?'" I asked.

    "It's only noon right now.  How about eight o'clock?"

    I closed my eyes and sighed, thanking a deity at random.  I 
think today's was Loki.  "That would be wonderful.  I need to take 
a nap.  Is there anything you want from me when I show up?"

    "Just you," she replied softly.  "See you in a few hours."

    "Okay," I said.  "See you then, Vicki."

    K'meh chose right then to walk out; After setting the alarm 
clock I turned to watch her walk naked across the room and dig 
through her bag for a fur brush.

    I stood up and walked behind her, giving her a gentle hug.  
"Would you like me to help with that brush?" I asked.

    "I sure would," she sighed, sitting down slowly on the edge of 
the bed.  Then again, in the one-sixth gravity of Luna, everything 
seemed to happen in slow motion anyway.  I started at the top of 
her head, dealing with knots and tangles for the next half hour.  
She purred anyway under my gentle touch.  It didn't seem quite so 
hard to concentrate on what I was doing this time, even though I 
got a rather solid erection while I was brushing her breasts and 
about her vulva.  I gave her feet the massage I had promised, and 
she did indeed fall asleep during it.  I slipped under the light 
sheets with her and joined her in complete unconsciousness.

              -               -              -

    At seven the alarm chime woke me up, making me blink and look 
up.  With a soft groan I climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb 
K'meh who chose to stay solidly asleep.  "Smart girl," I whispered 
softly.

    I decided to dress smartly, so I located my Pendor Interstellar 
Fleet uniform and pulled it on, carefully buckling the various 
snaps and frogs and such, pulling the collar out and adjusting the 
cufflinks.  I examined myself in the mirror and decided that I 
looked reasonable after brushing my hair.  I reached for the 
keyboard and began typing in commands.  I asked for a quick map to 
Victoria's home, found it, memorized it as best I could and walked 
out.  K'meh, fortunately, slept through the whole operation.

    I had to ask someone for directions anyway.

    I approached the doorway with a hint of trepidation and pressed 
the door chime.  The door opened.  Victoria stood before me, 
looking wonderful in a simple light-gray monk's robe that folded 
around her body and was tied around her hips.  She wore the hood 
up, but lowered it behind her head as I looked in.  "Hi," I said.

    "Hello, Ken," she replied softly.  "Come in; dinner is still 
cooking, so it might be a few minutes before it's ready.  Make 
yourself at home, look around."

    I nodded and stepped through the door, hearing it close behind 
me.  She smiled and turned back into the kitchen to again pay 
attention to her cooking.  "I remember your penchant for beef, so 
I'm cooking steak."

    "Real steak?"

    "Not really," she replied.  "I'm told some people can tell the 
difference."

    "Depends on how different 'different' is."

    "It's made by Solid Artificial Photosynthesis."

    "I probably won't be able to tell the difference, then," I 
said, glancing around her home qua laboratory.  There were a 
variety of instruments laying about, the most notable was an 
authentic-looking brass reflective telescope that peered out a 
large bay of windows at the stars.  To the left of the windows was 
a framed copy of her certificate from the Nobel Committee for 
Achievement in Mathematics and Physics.  There was a drafting table 
in one corner, above which a carefully drawn illustration of a 
house was taped to the wall; the corners of the drawing were 
yellowing with age, and the paper appeared to have cracked in 
places.  Several tears in the sheet had been repaired with 
cellophane tape, telling me this drawing had moved a couple of 
times, but probably wouldn't survive moving again.  "This house," I 
said aloud, "You live there once?"

    "I was going to," Victoria replied, two plates in her hands.  
"Come, I've got dinner ready.  Sit down."  I took a seat at her 
dining table where she indicated.  From where we sat, we could look 
out the windows at the stars overhead.

    "You were going to?  What happened?"

    "I drew that back when I was young, and poor, and new to Luna.  
Then the accident, and... "  Her voice trailed off.  "I haven't 
been to Terra since then, you know."

    "I know."

    She laughed softly.  "It's sad, isn't it?" she said, turning to 
look at me.  "I have all the money I could ever want, the affection 
of everyone on Luna, but I just can't do what I want.  I can't go 
home."

    "So, what happened to the house?"

    "Oh, it never existed.  I was just drawing it freehand to see 
what I thought I wanted.  It looked about right for New Hampshire, 
huh?  I guess I could have given the drawing to my daughter, but 
she never could stand to live out in the country the way I wanted."

    I nodded.  Then what she said dawned on me.  "You have a 
daughter?  When?"

    "About forty years ago," Victoria said calmly.  "About two 
years after the accident, in fact.  I wanted to get that over with, 
and I decided that since I was going to be bedridden anyway, that 
was the perfect time to have my child."

    "That was before the birthright selection, right?"  She nodded.  
"What did you do with your second birthright?"

    "I gave it to her.  She's allowed three children.  Four, 
actually."

    "Four?  She bought a fourth?" I asked.

    "I bought it for her.  She wanted it, and I haven't got 
anything better to do with my money."  She laughed softly.  "Most 
of it goes to charity anyway."

    I nodded, watching her move with a calm majesty I thought I 
would never have.  "You know, Vicki, you're as beautiful as you 
ever were."

    She smiled back.  "You were never a good liar, Ken.  When you 
first knew me I was the overweight lonely girl with braces and 
coke-bottle glasses.  If I'm as beautiful now as I was then, I 
think I'm in trouble."

    "You know what I mean," I said.  She smiled back at me and 
said, "Yeah, I guess I do.  You yelled at me, once."

    "You pissed me off, once," I replied.  "I'm sorry."

    "So am I," she said.  "Apology accepted," she said.  

    "I still think you look wonderful."

    "Ken," she sighed slowly, "Let's face the face.  I'm eighty-two 
years old.  And unlike you, I am not going to live forever.  I'm 
going to live a lot longer than my groundside relatives.  My family 
stock was always long-lived, and good food, a lighter gravity, 
and--" she spread her fingers over her chest-- "an artificial heart 
are all good reasons that I should live well past a hundred."

    "That doesn't mean I don't find you beautiful, Vicki."

    She smiled.  "Do you really?"

    "Yeah.  Why shouldn't I?  It's not like I find small 
differences in body types a disadvantage."

    "Yes, I saw your female friend.  She's very pretty."

    "K'meh?" I asked.  "Yes, she is."

    "So why do you want me?"

    I looked around idly.  "Because I came to visit you.  K'meh and 
I are just newfound fast friends, but she's not you, Vicki.  
Besides," I smiled mischievously, "call it an ego thing."

    "Ego?  How so?"

    "I did want to be the one to take your virginity."

    She laughed.  "You silly kid.  You haven't changed one little 
bit."

    "Watch who you're calling 'kid,' youngster," I said, "I'm still 
a hundred and twenty-eight years older than you are."

    "Really?" she said, looking up.  "I didn't realize... where did 
the other twenty-eight years come from... or is that how long the 
set-up took?"

    I nodded.  "Pendor took four point five million years to set 
up.  Although I spent most of that time 'in transit,' so to speak, 
the monitoring and measuring of progress took twenty one years."

    "And the other seven?"

    "Building Centaurs."

    "All by yourself.  Tell me how that happened?"

    "How what happened?"

    "How you came to build Pendor.  What happened?  One day, you 
were there... the next, you were gone.  That hunk of junk you drove 
was gone."

    I sighed quietly and told her the whole story, starting, as the 
White Queen once said, at the beginning, and going all the way to 
the end, and then stopping.  She was silent through the whole 
thing, sipping from a glass of wine.

    "And that's it?" she asked.  "Someone decided you should be 
God, and that was that?  Suddenly you were?"

    "Something like that.  I mean, I know someone had to start the 
process, but eventually it became a closed loop, me handing Fawn to 
me, over and over eternally."

    "Too bad we can't go back in time and do something about it."

    "Maybe someday somebody will.  Until then, we have to live with 
it.  Do you find what I did... repulsive?  I know some people do."

    She shook her head.  "No, I don't.  Predictable, for anyone who 
knew you, maybe.  You were never into power, really, so much as you 
were into satisfaction.  I like your solution."

    I reached out and touched the back of her hand with mine.  
"Thank you."

    She pulled her hand away from me.  "That's not the real one," 
she said.  "Besides, I'm really too old for that sort of thing."

    "To what?" I asked.  "Be touched?"  I grabbed her other hand 
and held it tightly, being careful not to apply too much pressure.  
"Everyone needs to be touched, Victoria.  You do, I do, everyone 
does."

    "You're reading too much pop psychology, Ken."

    "Am I?" I asked softly.  "I've raised over a hundred children 
in my household, given birth to eleven species.  I think I know a 
few things about people.  Thing one is that all people need to be 
touched."  I was quiet for a minute.  "Victoria... even though you 
and I never slept together, I know how physical a creature you 
were.  Remember playing flag football in the mud in that field 
behind the theatre?"  She nodded,  her smile distant and wistful.

    "That was a long time ago."  She lifted her right hand and 
waved it in front of me.  "That was before this.  That was before 
an accident took away my arm and my leg."   She smiled.  "It's 
nothing."

    "Nothing?  You saved 82 people that day."

    "Four people died anyway."

    "Still... You're a hero.  Don't dismiss that."

    "Oh, I don't," she said.  "Look at this room.  It's hero 
worship of a sort, Ken.  They can't send me home; I'll die.  So 
they stick me in the most expensive nursing home in the galaxy.  
They let this nobel-prize-winning cripple dote about her laboratory 
and sometimes they visit her and thank her for being such an 
important part of Moonbase Tycho."

    I stood up, grabbed my chair and planted it next to her.  I sat 
down besides her as she looked away.  "I'm not going to ignore you 
or fawn at you or dote on you."

    "No, you're worse, in a way."

    "Because I'm twice as old as you are?"

    "No," she said firmly.  "No, you were always meant to live 
forever, Ken.  It was obvious from the day we met you.  Although I 
would like to have seen what you looked like with grey hair."

    "I'll dye it the next time I stop by."

    "Do that," she said, smiling.  I leaned down to kiss her smile, 
and she let me.  As I backed away again she said, "No, that's not 
it.  It's because you haven't changed at all.  You don't hurt me 
because of what you are, you do because of what you were.  I 
remember you, walking around with a squirt gun, and shooting me as 
I begged you not to.  You remind me of what I had."

    I stroked her cheek softly; her skin was wrinkled with age, but 
the surface was still smooth.  Her eyes were still bright.  "I 
still want you, Victoria.  It isn't age, or beauty, or even ego 
that makes me want  you.  It's simple honestly.  I just remember 
the beautiful black woman who spent a summer with me, who I held in 
my arms the night she cried as  her boyfriend left her."

    She laughed.  "And I used to think you didn't like me because I 
was black."

    "I hardly think race was stopping me from paying attention to 
you.  Look with what I sleep with nowadays."

    She nodded, smiling.  "I used to wonder when it began."

    "When what began?" I asked curiously.

    "When we stop being people and start being machines."  She 
tapped her chest again, through the monk's robe she wore.  "Is it 
when I get a bridge for my teeth?  Dentures?  Contact lenses?"  She 
smiled.  "When do you start thinking of Grandma as a cyborg?"

    "What brought this depressing line of thought on?" I asked.

    "I was just wondering when I stopped feeling.  Did you know, 
Ken, that every six months Beth checks to make sure the age spots 
on this arm match the ones on my left?" She turned to me.  "As much 
as I want to give you what you want, as much as I wish the feelings 
were still there... they aren't."

    I nodded.  "Can I still spend the night next to you?"

    She looked over at me curiously.  "Whatever for?"

    "How about for old time's sake?" I asked, smiling.  "How about, 
because I want to?"

    She thought about it quietly.  "Very well," she said, smiling.  
"Maybe those feelings aren't so dead after all."

    "Hopefully not."

    "Are you tired?" she asked, surprised.  "I am, but I assumed 
you and your friend would be getting sleep since you landed."

    "I didn't get enough," I said softly.  "Your dinner filled me, 
and I tend to get tired after a big dinner."

    She smiled and nodded, rising.  "Come this way, then," she 
said, leading me through a small door into a dark room that lit as 
we entered, the room behind us darkening and the door closing.  Her 
bed was large enough for two, I guessed, the same size as the one 
K'meh and I were sharing.  She turned around and said "You're 
really determined to do this."

    "Dammit, Vicki, this isn't necrophilia and it isn't altruism.  
I want you.  Is that so hard to get through to you?"

    She shook her head and reached into her robe, tugging at a 
short string that opened the whole thing to me.  Underneath, her 
skin was still clean, her breasts hadn't sagged all that much, 
although they had perhaps lost some mass.  The benefits of living 
in a low-gravity environment.  I smiled.  "Do you still want me?"

    "Yes," I replied, smiling.  "Why shouldn't I?"

    "Because you're so used to youth.  All of your children, they 
all look so young, strong, pure."

    I walked over to her, my jacket and shirt unbuttoned, and 
pressed my bare chest to hers in a tight bearhug.  "Why should that 
make a difference at all?  They're that way because I don't want 
them to die, Vicki, not because I want them to always be young."  I 
sighed rested my head on her shoulder.  "I don't want you to die, 
either."

    She sighed.  "I wasn't meant to live forever."  I dropped the 
subject like a stone.  Every time I had discussed the possibility 
of her Hallwalking, she told me to not discuss it.  I stepped back 
and undid my clothing, standing before her naked as she stood with 
me.  She smiled.  "You look wonderful."

    "As do you."

    "Thanks," she said, taking my hand and leading me to bed.  Her 
hand felt frail in mine; despite the advantages of the lower 
gravity, one of the problems inherent with it was the lack of 
resistance; there was little reason for muscles to remain at the 
strength they have on Earth.   She turned on her side and I cuddled 
up behind her.  I held her close and together we fell asleep.

              -               -              -

    With dawn I awoke to find her still lying against me.  I was 
fascinated by her body, so different from anything I had ever 
encountered before or probably would ever again.  It wasn't that I 
was erotically charged by her pronounced and visible aging, or that 
I wondered what the experience she was going through was like, so 
much as I merely found it so different that I felt it worth 
exploring, worth touching.  Like her.

    She stirred as I ran my hand over her belly, her skin 
responding to my touch only slightly.  Her hand reached up to touch 
mine, and her eyes opened slowly.  "Maybe I'm not so old as I 
thought," she smiled.  "I had a strange dream last night."

    "Memories of a man lying next to you?" I asked, smiling.

    "No, not even that.  Although having you lie next to me proved 
to me how much I missed it."

    "Enough to get out more often?"

    "That remains to be seen," she whispered, squeezing my hand 
tightly.  I leaned over and kissed her softly, my left hand 
touching her belly softly and then sliding down to probe delicately 
between her legs, stroking through the thick, almost wiry pubic 
hair, which I bet if I looked was a mixed silver and black as the 
hair on her head.  Her mouth felt warm against mine, warm and wet.  
Her vulva was just as warm and just as human.  With my fingers and 
with experience, I parted her outer labia and slid a finger between 
them, playing with her lips and her clitoris.  She sighed slightly, 
a high-pitched "ieee..." sound.  She looked up at me.  "I 
forgot..."

    "Forgot what?" I asked softly, stopping for a moment.  "Don't 
tell me you don't masturbate anymore."

    She shook her head.  "I thought I was getting to old even for 
that."

    I slid my fingers across the top of her clitoral hood.  
"Victoria, you're never to old to play with yourself.  Besides," I 
said smiling, "You haven't got a heart to fibrillate."  She smiled 
at me and I kissed her lips again, sliding down her chin and across 
her breasts briefly.  There was an unfamiliar, musky scent to her 
that I refused to categorize, even to myself.  The scent was 
replaced with a much more familiar scent when I slid between her 
legs.  I kissed the top of her mons and her hands clutched at mine, 
my arms stretched out before me over her body.

    She moaned again, that high-pitched "Iee!" sound.  Her body 
shuddered under my tongue as I licked at her cunny, trying (and 
losing) my argument with her pubic hair as to where it belonged.   
She began to thrust her hips upwards; I had to clamp my hands down 
on her thighs to hold her in place.  Her voice's pitch climbed 
higher, reaching for notes even beyond my hearing.  I was wondering 
how much longer she could keep this up; her body was curling in 
response to my every lick, until she finally answered my question, 
screaming and pounding the mattress with her fists.  "Okay!" she 
gasped.  "Okay, you've proven your point, damn you!"  I smiled and 
crawled up the length of her body, touching her gently as I slid up 
to lie besides her.

    She laughed softly as she wiped her brow of sweat that wasn't 
there.  "I haven't had a climax like that in nearly two years.  How 
could I forget?"

    "I dunno," I said, smiling.  She reached down with her real 
hand, thin and frail, and wrapped it around my penis.  "When I was 
younger, I used to play with these things a lot."

    "Before or after the accident?"

    "Both," she said.  "The accident never slowed me down, Ken.  I 
was boffing male nurses even before I had the borgings fit on."

    I laughed.  "That sounds like you.  You just let age catch up 
to you?"

    "Age and depression," she sighed, her hand slowly stroking my 
cock.   "I got over the depression," she said, smiling, "But not 
the age."

    I nodded, slowly easing myself over and between legs.  She 
smiled up at me, her hands reaching up to my shoulders, as I slid 
my cock into her.  Her eyes closed fast, her mouth open, a soft 
gasp.  "Oh, yes..." she sighed.  I made love to her slowly, 
stroking deep within her cunny; she pressed her hips upwards with 
every stroke.  We began to make love with a little more urgency, 
pressing up against each other, kissing as we made love and my 
climax rose on soft cat feet to explode within me and her, a tiny 
explosion of desire and pleasure.

    I looked down at her and said, "Victoria, you're still a lovely 
woman, inside and out."

    She laughed brightly and looked up at me.  "You're right," she 
said.  "Even at eighty-two I should have more lovers, right?"

    "Right!" I laughed.  "When I was your age I had a dozen 
lovers."

    "I should be thankful I only have you chasing me," she said.  
"Oh!"

    "Are you okay?" I asked.  That hadn't sounded like a happy 
"Oh!"

    "Yeah," she smiled.  "Don't go acting like I'm some frail old 
woman just because I am.  My back hurts once in a while, Ken.  Part 
of that's your fault, you know... It's been a long time since I had 
sex with someone."

    I smiled and leaned over to kiss her.  "I missed you 
sometimes."

    "You have memories that go back that far?"

    "Remember that biocybernetics is Pendor's premier science.  I 
can remember anything I want."

    "'We can remember it for you wholesale.'"

    "Something like that," I said, smiling and recognizing the 
reference.  "We should get dressed."

    "Shouldn't we shower first?"

    "What about the water restrictions?"

    "I don't pay attention to those.  I guess they figure I'm going 
senile."

    I laughed and shook my head, joining her in the shower.  We 
were efficient, however, and tried not to waste any water.

              -               -              -

    "Missed you last night," K'Meh said gently.

    "I know.  I just needed to..." 

    She reached out and touched my arm.  "You don't need to 
explain," she whispered, pulling me close to her.  "I understand."

    I smiled at her.  "I'm glad someone does," I replied.  "I'm 
going to spend the day at the medical conference.  Want to join 
me?"

    She stuck her tongue out.  "Doctors.  I'm going to go talk to 
some of the pilots; see if I can convince one of them to take me up 
in one of their 'Shoppers.'"

    "'Shoppers?'" I asked.  "What's that?"

    "Short Hopper.  It's what they call a vehicle that can just 
make lunar orbit.  They use them for all sorts of things."

    "If it can make lunar orbit and back, theoretically it could 
make it to Earth.  That's no short hop."

    "That's what they call them," she replied, smiling and 
struggling on a new set of flight overalls.  "I'll see you later," 
she said, kissing my cheek.

    "See ya, K'meh," I said as she disappeared out the door.  I 
shook my head, pulled on a set of clean clothes myself, and then 
spent the opening session of the day taking notes.  Although I 
found the medicine fascinating, especially when the subject of 
genetics and drift came up, I was relieved when Commander Scheider 
invited me for lunch.

    As our lunches were served, Scheider started the conversation 
with "So, how do you like our moonbase?"

    "It's nice," I said.  "The food's better than we have on our 
starships.  One of the problems with our starting out with an FTL 
drive.  We didn't bother to work on life support quite so strongly 
as you did."

    "Yes," Scheider replied.  "Your materials technology specialist 
has 
been taking notes almost nonstop since you arrived.  I must admit 
that I find working with your people fascinating."

    "Why is that?"

    "The difference in technology and thrust."  He smiled, slightly 
embarrassed.  "As well as the overwhelming evidence of their alien 
origin.  If I were dealing with you, I'd have trouble remembering 
that you were from another planet.  I can't forget it with them."

    I grinned.  "I can understand that.  I can walk around 
unnoticed.  Tell me, have you had any complaints from atmospherics 
life support regarding fur in the filters?"

    "No," Scheider replied musingly.  "Not that I know of.  Then 
again, there are only five of your people around.  Do they shed 
that much?" he asked.

    "Not particularly.  I was just making sure they weren't being a 
nuisance.  After all, ALS tends to be some rather critical, and 
delicate, machinery."

    He nodded as he dug into a rather typical hamburger.  The 
conversation was typical and light for the rest of the meal; I was 
surprised that he completely avoided the subject of Victoria 
Stoneman.

              -               -              -

    "Hi," I said, peeking out from the covers as K'meh came 
tripping in, light as a feather even in one-sixth gravity.  
"K'meh?"

    "Huh?" she asked.  "Oh, you're awake!  I had so much fun today.  
We went lunar buggy riding.  That's insane!  It was incredible!"  
She laughed, and I laughed along with her.  She stripped out of her 
clothing and snuggled up against me.  "So, Ken, are you going to 
keep your end of the bargain?"

    "What bargain?" I asked.  "I said I wanted a roommate, not 
backup."

    "You said 'A little bit of both,'" K'meh murmured.  "I think I 
want a little bit of the 'up' part," she laughed.  I laughed along 
with her and turned over to face her.  "You're in a brutal mood 
tonight."

    "Oh, brutal," she said, flinging the covers back and grabbing 
my still-flaccid penis in her paw and stroking it slowly.  It came 
to life pretty quickly under her urging and the moment I was hard 
she slid down over it, sliding it deep inside her, cooing loudly.  
"Yes..."

    I grabbed her hips and pressed up deep into her.  "Oh, yes," 
she gasped against.  My body complained at what I was putting it 
through, and every thrust threatened to fling us from the bed in 
the unfamiliar gravity, but we held together, her tongue hanging 
out the side of her muzzle as we made love passionately, holding 
onto each other until we both climaxed loudly.

    She smiled down at me.  "We'll have to do that again."

    "Some other time."  I smiled.  "I'm still trying to get some 
sleep."

    She snuggled close and wrapped her arm around my back; I 
shifted back to get as much contact between us as I could.  I 
sighed and closed my eyes.  With a pilot's understanding of the 
need for sleep, K'meh was already out, and I managed to fall asleep 
almost as fast.

--
"Journal Entry 212 / 0164  [ Ambassadors ]"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales
are copyright (C) 1989-1995 Elf Mathieu Sternberg.  Redistribution of
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--
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