From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Newsgroups: alt.sex,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.furry
Subject: Journal Entry 185 / 0916 [ Travellogue, Day 3 ]
Date: 23 Apr 1996 14:17:26 GMT
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Lines: 592
Message-ID: <4liopm$n45@news.halcyon.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: coho.halcyon.com
Anar, Urim 14, 0916
He found her the next day, sitting besides the swimming pool
and reading a book. "Hi, Furry!" he said as he found her. "I've
been looking for you."
"Hi," she said, her voice listless.
"What's wrong?"
"You were arguing with your mother about me, weren't you?"
He tauted his lips and said, "Yeah."
"She doesn't want you to be seen with me, does she?"
Nickolai shook his head and said, "No, she doesn't."
"Why not?"
He shrugged and said, "Who cares?"
"I care!" she said, a little angrily. "Now tell me what she
said."
"She said I shouldn't see you because all Pendorians are
perverts, and you'll just try to involve me in stuff that's
dangerous. That you could be a telepath and brainwash me. That
you could have SANS, even though that's not a problem anymore."
Jofuran smiled and said, "SANS is still a problem. It's still
a disease, and it's still dangerous. Worse, the residual damage
caused by SANS still has to be corrected surgically, and I don't
think you want someone taking a laser to your testicles." She
laughed at Nickolai's pained expression. "But Pendorians don't get
SANS; there's no need to worry."
"That's what I told her." He was silent for a moment, then
"She also said that 'those four boys who had left the arcade were
just my age, and I should have more in common with them then I
should with that creature.'"
"She really said that?" Jofuran asked, laughing as he nodded.
They sat together for a while, and then Jofuran said, "So, are
you?"
"Am I what?"
"Going to stop seeing me?"
"I'm seeing you right now, aren't I?"
"I guess so," she said, returning to her former demeanor.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Nickolai asked.
"I just don't like the idea of coming between you and your
Mother."
"Look, don't worry about it, okay?"
"Well, I do worry about it."
"I'll never understood why Terrans hate Pendorians so much."
"That's easy to understand," Jofuran replied, brightening. She
held up the book she was reading. "Ever read James Burke?"
"No," Nickolai replied.
"Oh. Early twenty-first century writer. Really good at
getting his point across. Lots of stage presence, too. Anyway,
Terrans hate Pendorians because they covet."
"They what?"
"Back in your twenty-first century, Terrans wanted what we had,
namely, spaceflight and medical tech. They got the first
relatively quickly. In less than fifty years Terrans were trying
their first FAL drives.
"But what Terra really wanted was our immortality. They hated
Pendorians because we were all young, strong, and healthy, and we'd
stay that way as long as we liked."
"But Humans have that now, too," Nickolai pointed out.
"Yes, thanks to the Saman revolution. But look at it
historically. To get what you had always wanted, immortality, you
had to give up something very central to your species; the right to
reproduce. The Saman process requires almost the entire nine
months of fetal development to implement. Your species, Homo
Sapiens Immortalis, can't reproduce without technology. Meanwhile,
Pendorians, who had started out from tanks, go on having babies
like normal."
"Oh," Nickolai said, the issue becoming a little clearer to
him. "Should I hate you, then?"
"Do you?"
"No," he said. "There's no point to it." This conversation
was depressing him. He sought in his mind for something to do,
something to take his mind off of the subject at hand. "Hey, can
you play billiards?"
"What?"
"You know, pool?"
"You mean fourpocket/sixpocket?"
"Whatever," he said.
"Not really," she replied. "I mean, I've played before, but I
was never very good at it."
"C'mon, I'll teach you."
"Should I get some clothes on first?" she asked jokingly.
Nickolai blushed and said, "Uh, yeah, that would be a good
idea."
They reunited outside the elevator door; she wore an oversized
satin-shine blouse and a black miniskirt, her tail trailing out
underneath it. "Whaddya think?" she asked.
"Uhm," Nickolai replied, his eyebrows going up, "I like it."
"Really?" Jofuran asked.
"Really." They took the elevator to the third level, and
Nickolai led her into the billiards room. There were four tables,
none of them in use. Nickolai set up a rack and offered to break.
In his first stroke none sank. Jofuran took a stance and got
ready to shoot. "Hold it," he said.
"What?" she asked, straightening up. He walked up behind her
and said, "Here, like this. Hold your hand like this. Yeah, put
your hand down on the table like this, palm to the felt. Right."
Her hand felt soft and warm in his. "Okay, now bend over and line
up on the ball, like that. You're trying to hit that one, right?"
She nodded, her ears waggling. He found it a fascinating gesture.
"Okay, pull back on the stick and shoot. Just like that."
Despite all his instruction, her shot still went wide. He
laughed and said, "Keep practicing, you'll get it."
"That wasn't funny." She pouted.
"I wasn't laughing at you, Furry. Here, let me take a shot."
They played back and forth for a while, Jofuran losing.
"Show me how to do that again," she asked.
"Okay," he said, stepping behind her and putting his left hand
on hers. "Hold your hand like this." He held his hand in a
standard bridge, "And aim along here. Now, you want to think about
your shot standing up, as if you were looking over the table."
"I'm kind of short for that," Jofuran replied.
"I know. But you have to think that way. Now, you want to
grip the stick here," he continued, taking her other hand. He felt
extremely close to her; he could smell her clean fur, feel the
warmth of her body through his clothing. "Okay," he said, a little
less steadily, "now lean over and take the shot. Line up on the
ball, just like that, and stroke, once, real easily." She took the
shot as he directed her, hitting the cue squarely and smoothly.
"Better," he said.
Jofuran straightened up and nearly knocked him over. "Whoops!"
She whipped around and caught him by the collar, pulling him back
up. "Thanks," he said, more than a little surprised by the speed
of her reaction. He had never seen anyone move that fast, except
maybe at martial arts demonstrations.
She pulled him close and hugged him. Nickolai's back
stiffened. "What?"
"I just wanted to thank you, Kolya. You've been so nice to
me."
He pushed her back and held her at arms' length. "Really?"
She swallowed for a second and said, "Kolya, I'm never going
back to Terra. My folks moved there when I was six, and now I'm
sixteen and I'm going home. To my real home. To Pendor. Because
all the time I lived on Terra I was made to feel like, well, like I
was different. And I was; I was the only Markal in all of
Jerusalem. I mean, there aren't maybe a dozen *humans* in the old
city who spoke both Anglic and Ashkenazic, but I can. I can read
heiroglyphics, Kolya. I went home... think about what that means.
They all stayed in the facilities, and I went... home to my
*parents*. They all hated me, they all were afraid of me. I
couldn't talk about my folks because nobody else there had parents,
you know what I mean? I wanted..."
She sighed for a second, then continued. "I wanted a friend,
and I never had one. Nobody ever wanted to teach me anything, like
playing pool, or 'mech, or anything like that. Even when I tried
to join the other girls in their cliques, they excluded me. And
why not? I'm not like them; I'm not human. I hope the rats who
moved in nearby are doing okay.
"I guess I just wanted to thank you, Kolya."
He smiled and said, "Well, you're not the only one. I mean,
theoretically I have more rights then the average kid my age; my
mother has more control over some things than the state does. So
why do I always feel closed in on?" He smiled wanly. "I always
wondered if other kids my age felt the same way."
"Uh-huh," Jofuran nodded.
Nickolai's chest felt tight; he kept feeling there was
something he should do, but couldn't decide. Jofuran helped him
make the decision; she stood up on her toes and kissed him, gently,
on the lips.
He felt awkward returning the kiss, but he held on to her. It
was longer then a peck, and when they moved apart he looked into
her smiling eyes, then quickly scanned every door (there were four)
leading into the billiards room.
"What?" Jofuran asked.
"The last two times one of us tried to make a pass at the other
*something* stopped us."
Jofuran laughed and said, "Yeah, I know. Hey, would you like
to meet my folks?"
"I've already met them. You mean... What?"
"You know, go to dinner with us?"
He thought about it for a second and said "Sure. I suppose."
"You suppose?"
"Well, I don't know. Nobody else ever invited me to meet their
parents, and I never invited anyone to meet my mother, that's for
sure!"
She smiled and said, "Do you want to?"
"Yeah," he said. "I do."
"I'll let 'em know." She took his chin in her paw and pulled
him toward her. Their kiss this time was warmer, more passionate,
but Nickolai's primary emotion was relief. All the tension of his
mother, his peers, drained from him as he felt her warm tongue
against his. She had a small mouth, and he enjoyed the sensation
of her muzzle against his lips, her nose against his. He smiled.
They separated, and she said "Gotta go."
He nodded. "You'll let me know?"
"It's not a big deal. Just show up for the first meal."
"I'll be there."
- - -
When the chime for first meal rang, Nickolai was already
waiting at the door, dressed in dark grey slacks, turtleneck shirt
and semi-formal jacket complete with the latest fashion trend,
shimmersilk trim.
He was amazed at the number of Pendorians who were suddenly
appearing on board; they seemed to make up about a quarter of all
the guests at first meal. He calculated and realized that the
meant there were maybe fifty on board; Five percent didn't make up
that much of the guest list.
His attention was drawn by a large grey-furred feline who was
escorting a smaller, orange and black-furred feline. The larger
one was well over two meters, while the smaller one seemed to be
160, maybe 170 centimeters tall. The larger one, which Nickolai
recalled was an "Uncia," was more animalistic, less humanoid. He
had large teeth, but he seemed to smile and laugh a lot. They were
not speaking in any language he knew; he knew that all three of the
major feline races on Pendor had their own languages.
The smaller one had to be a Felinzi; since they were based on
Terran Felis Domesticus, it wasn't possible to actually identify a
common species fur color. His tail was long and active, with small
black rings becoming more pronounced closer towards the tip. He
looked somewhat like a housecat facially, although his lower jaw
seemed to be heavier, and more substantial, than a cat's. Also, he
was less "animal-like" in appearance than his companion. Nickolai
reflected that the current craze among Terrans for Felinzi was more
than a little understandable; the example he was looking at
certainly was a slinky, sexy one! But then, four years ago it had
been Mephits. His roommate had gotten caught up in that one.
"Hi!"
He started at the explosive greeting behind him, turned and
hugged his assailant. "Hi!" he returned.
"You made it," Jofuran said.
"Did you think I wouldn't?"
"I didn't know. You seemed a little nervous when I suggested
it." He shrugged. "Anyway," she continued, "These are my folks.
This is my Mom, Helena, and this is Dad, Morrail."
Nickolai shook hands with them both. "Good to see you again,
lad," her father said warmly. The chime for entry rang, so they
walked into the sumptuous banquet hall and took their seats. There
seemed to be plenty of room.
"So, tell me, Nickolai," her father began, "Furry tells me
you've had some adventures since you came on board. I understand
you and she dealt rather handily with some hoodlums in the arcade."
Nickolai nodded and said, "They were just kids."
"'Kids' are usually quite good at those games."
"But they don't have the intelligence or the dedication to
learn all the important things, Dad," Jofuran said. "Besides, they
weren't pure of heart and intentions." She smiled wide. Nickolai
returned her smile, recalling that she had used that same argument
on him.
"Be that as it may," her mother said, "they're still on this
ship, and since you are going with the tour, they could still be a
problem."
"I already thought of that," Jofuran replied. "I guess I'll
deal with it when it comes up. I intend to do sensei proud if I
need to use what she taught me."
"Good girl," Morrail said. He turned to address Nickolai. "I
also understand your mother doesn't approve of this meeting?"
"My mother doesn't believe..." He suddenly remembered just how
many Pendorians were in the room with him and lowered his voice.
"My mother thinks that Furry would be a bad influence."
"Your culture's going through some tough times, Nickolai,"
Morrail said. "After all, Sexually Acquired Neoplasmic Syndrome
was a nasty bit of business, and tracking it down required a lot of
effort. It was perceived as being worse than any previous plague
because it was not only cutting down people who were in the prime
of their life, but also people who could be expected to maintain
that prime for hundreds of years. Your culture is just now coming
out of forty years of forced abstinence and sexual repression.
Those people who survived that time have a very enforced mindset.
What are you, sixteen, seventeen?"
"Sixteen, sir. I'll be seventeen in two months."
"Sixteen, then. And don't call me 'sir,' please; only my
students call me 'sir.' You're coming into your own just when it
is permissible, if not yet acceptable, to once again be a sexually
active teenager. Those who went through SANS aren't quite up to
speed yet. Your mother is probably one of those people who still
have the animal and the sentient backwards."
"Sir.. I mean..."
"Morrail will do fine."
"Morrail, I don't understand."
"Lad, there are two halves to every person. Then again, I may
just be one of those people who divides everything into two types.
The two halves are the animal and the sentient. On Pendor, we
chose to exalt the animal in our bodies... We maintain our physical
health, engage in physical sports, and indulge in physical
pleasures. The sentient we express in our relations with each
other; we logically look at every dealing, every contract. We
consult with sentience faster and more logical, though not
necessarily 'better,' than our own.
"On Earth, it's very different. Terrans exalt the animal as a
part of their minds. They let the herd animal instinct drive them-
your mob politics, demagoguery, Alpha-male behavior. On the other
hand, you inflict pure sentience on your bodies. Ascetism,
puritanism, celibacy; the body isn't really made for such
activities. It is a body; part of the physical world. It should
be celebrated as such.
"Your mother is Talia Dittrich, as I recall; an artists of some
measure. How would you feel if I criticized her work?"
Nickolai shrugged and drank from his glass of water. "It
wouldn't bother me."
"Your mother's work reflects much of your culture. There are
reasons why drug and biocybe abuse are so very rampant in your
culture; it's an effort to get away from the desires of the
animal."
Jofuran's mother interrupted Morrail's long monologue. "On the
other hand, Nickolai, our culture recognizes the advice of parents
as very important. On Pendor you would be considered an adult; on
Earth you are not yet. Are you quite sure that you want to defy
your mother this way?"
"Dear," Morrail said, interrupting, "You're stepping on the
affairs of our children."
"No, I am not," she replied. "I'm asking him to consider his
future."
"Wait," Nickolai said. "I appreciate what both of you are
saying. Look, Furry and I obviously getting along really well.
She's been the best thing that's happened to me this whole trip."
He turned to Jofuran and said, "You've been kind and sweet and
you've kept me from going out of my mind with boredom and
embarrassment from my mother. Y'know, despite that word, 'mother,'
she really isn't." He turned back to Jofuran's mother and said, "I
mean, I am her genetic offspring, but she really doesn't know what
to do with me."
They were silent for a while, eating. Nickolai noted that
despite their mouse-like appearance, they weren't vegetarians,
digging into the poultry being served with gusto. Conversation for
the rest of the evening was light.
After dinner Jofuran's parents invited them to go dancing on
the observation bubbledeck, since a live band would be performing
there tonight. They agreed; Nickolai enjoyed dancing, and although
Jofuran seemed a little reluctant at first, he could see she was
enjoying herself on the floor. At the first slow dance they held
each other close; Nickolai appreciated this long, gentle chance to
actually hold her, to feel her body move under his hands, against
him. His heart was beating like a drum.
He felt rather than heard her chuckle, and then she said,
"Nervous?"
He smiled and said, "Yeah."
She looked up at him and said, "Nickolai, you're one of the
sweetest, most wonderful guys I've ever met." She smiled wide and
said, "For a human."
He laughed. "Well, you've been sweet yourself."
"Would you be frightened if I told you 'I love you'?"
He held her away from him and said "I don't know."
"I mean, it's not a permanent thing," she said quickly. "I
don't want you to live with me or walk the Great Hall for me. I
just wanted to tell you that I think you're kinda special, and for
the duration of this trip I like you enough that I want to wrap
myself around you, hold you and hug you."
"Really?"
"Really," she said, breaking his grasp and closing the
distance, hugging him again. "I just wanted you to know that.
You're probably one of the best friends I've ever had." She held
her arms around him, and he returned the favor, feeling her press
against him, feeling his heart beat even harder.
"Can we go somewhere?" she said.
"Where?" he asked, feeling his heart skip a beat.
"Oh, I dunno." She smiled. "We could go to the rear lounge;
it's closed right now, but the windows will still be open."
"You mean, sneak in?"
"No, they never lock the doors, silly. I just want to go and
spend some time with you, alone. And that's as good a place as
any."
"It's up to you," he said.
"Let's go." She took his hand and led him carefully across the
floor, and out into the adjacent hallway. The path she took led
them through the main lobby of the ship and down a flight of
stairs. The secondary lounge was closed during the third
flight-shift, but the doors
were very typical swing-type doors, and she pushed them open
with no problem. The windows were open, true, but the image of
stars redshifting as they went by was a computer-generated
illusion; there was nothing to see in hyperspace.
"Furry?" he asked quietly as they closed the door behind him.
"Huh?"
"This is gonna sound kinda funny, but I don't know what I'm
doing here."
"What do you mean?"
Nickolai sat down on one of the larger couches and said, "Come
here?"
She smiled in the dim "starlight" and walked over to him. He
offered her his lap and she accepted. He put his arm around her.
"Furry, when things like this happen at school, they happen because
they're supposed to happen. I mean, I'm expected-"
She put her hand to his lips and said, "If you don't want to,
it's okay."
He shook his head and said, "No, no... I do. I just... Oh,
hell, I don't know."
She leaned down and kissed him, gently. Nickolai was
momentarily startled, then returned the kiss, opening his lips
slightly as he did so. Her kiss was warm and a little awkward, a
little unskilled. He didn't think his was much better.
"Nickolai?" she said as the kiss ended.
"Yeah?"
"I..." She paused for a moment, looked out at the stars, then
back to him. "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you. I
want you to... make love to me, except..."
He gleaned what she was trying to say and replied, incredulous,
"You've never made love before?"
"Uh-huh," she said, smiling slightly.
"And you want... me... to--"
"Uh-huh," she replied slowly, interrupting him.
Nickolai felt as if about a million thoughts went through him
in the next ten seconds. The most powerful one he had was that an
attractive, lonely girl his age, a virgin no less, was throwing
herself at him, and he was going to say no?
"Furry?"
"Huh?"
"Would you like to go get some icecream?"
"WHAT?"
He smiled for a second and said, "I don't... It's not that
don't want to, because I do. But, would you be upset if I said, 'I
love you', and I don't want to ruin that?"
She looked down at him, tears in her eyes, but a smile on her
muzzle. She slid down onto the couch, wrapped her arms around him
and hugged him close, fierce and burning. "Oh, Kolya," she sighed.
"I love you."
"I know," he said, stroking the fur on the top of her head. "I
love you too, Furry."
"Promise me, Kolya, that if it ever gets right, you will?"
"Furry, if it gets right, we will before this trip is out."
She looked up at him and said, "Really promise?"
"I really promise."
"Then lets go get ice-cream." She leapt up from the couch, but
Nickolai reached out, grabbed her by the arm and hauled her back
down into his lap. She fell with a "whoops!"
He smiled at her and leaned over, kissing her softly. Her
reply was wet, sloppy, and he laughed when they stopped. "Now," he
said, "We can go get ice-cream."
"Uh-huh!" she replied. They ran out of the lounge together.
--
"Journal Entry 185 / 0916 [ Travellogue, Day 3 ]"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales
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