Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:55:53 -0400
From: numlfl <numlfl@musfiber.com>
Subject: Am I Crazy - Part Four
This story is the property of the author. You may keep a copy on your
computer for personal enjoyment, however if you wish to publish or
distribute the story then you must get the permission of the author.
Am I Crazy
Part Four
By Chris
"No baby come back, don't leave me alone!" Renee cried as she shook
Sophie but she got no response from her. Renee screamed at her again as the
tears began to run down her cheeks. She was crying and pleading with Sophie
to come back to her when she heard something outside her door. She looked
over seeing a cop at her window.
"Help my friend!" Renee screamed at the cop as she saw him pulling
on the door but it wouldn't open.
He tried again but the door wouldn't budge so he screamed at her to
cover herself as he got his nightstick out. Renee covered Sophie as she
heard a loud bang as the window shattered.
The cop first reached for her but Renee screamed, "Help Sophie, I'm
not hurt, she needs help now." Renee screamed at him. "We have to get her
to a hospital quick!"
He reach over and Renee could see him checking something on Sophie's
neck. She saw his face sadden and Renee's heart broke as he said, "I'm
sorry but she gone."
"No she's not, you fucking asshole, she's just unconscious, now get
your fucking ass in gear and get her out of the car and to a hospital."
Renee screamed at the stupid cop who was looking back at her with eyes that
had tears running from them.
"Honey she gone, I can't do anything to help her now, but let me
help you." He said as he reached for Renee who started to fight him off
with her right hand as she held tightly onto Sophie with her left. She was
determined to get Sophie some help as she knew her lover wouldn't ever die
on her. She started to pull at Sophie to get her out the window when she
felt a searing white hot pain come from her right leg that went through her
body. She saw bright white stars in her eyes then there was blackness as
she passed out.
When Renee woke up, her brain felt like it was in a fog. She had to
work to get her eyes to open and then she just saw white lights so she
closed them. Her head hurt so damn bad and she didn't seem to be able to
move her body. Her arms felt heavy and as she tried to move them, she found
that they felt like were made of lead. She tried to move her right leg and
that just caused her so much pain that she let out a painful moan. That was
when she heard a soft voice somewhere around her then she felt a cold cloth
on her forehead. She first thought that it was Sophie but the voice wasn't
right. She slowly opened her eyes just a hair and saw that it was Ursula
that was talking to her but it took her a moment to catch what she was
saying. She then heard a courser voice and she turned her head slowly
toward the voice and she saw Ian was walking to her side. His eyes were
swollen and bloodshot as if he had been on a three day drunk or had been
crying a lot without any sleep.
Ursula was telling her that she was going to be alright and that
they were there to take care of her. By then Renee had now figured out that
she was in a hospital room and that her right leg was in a cast that went
all the way up to her hip. Renee tried to talk but her mouth felt like it
was filled with cotton. Ursula got some water and helped her to take a
sip. That helped but her head was still swimming around and she was hurting
bad as she leg was killing her. She tried to bend her left arm only to find
that it was bandaged, she looked at it and she saw that her arm was hooked
up to a IV that had some type of a pump attached to it.
"Where's Sophie? I need to go see how she is? I know that she has to
be worrying about me." Renee was able to creak out and she saw Ursula's
eyes well up as she tried not to cry.
"She didn't make it honey, she died." Ursula told her as her heart
burst and she started to cry. Renee then looked over to Ian and she saw
that he was crying too as he took her hand and squeezed it.
In the back of her mind she began to remember the wreck and she
remember seeing Sophie die in her arms. She felt her heart breaking then
she remembered what Sophie had told her. "She going to come back to me."
Renee said confidently knowing that Sophie would indeed return to her, she
had promised her that.
"What honey?" Ursula asked.
"Sophie said that she had to go but she would come back to me. I
know she will keep her promise." Renee said as she saw Ursula start to cry
harder on hearing her say that. She was confused as to why that would make
Ursula cry harder when it was good news not bad news.
"Honey, she died, she can't come back but you got us and we'll take
care of you and get you through this. We're not going anywhere." Ursula
told her as she bent down kissing her forehead.
"I'll be okay. I just got to wait for Sophie to return." And that
just caused Ursula to cry harder and then the nurse came in. She checked
her over then she pushed a button on the IV machine and Renee felt her mind
go foggy as she fell back into a deep sleep.
Renee wasn't sure how long she had slept but when she began to wake
up again, she saw that there was a nurse standing by the IV unit. She tried
to sit up and when she did, the pain hit her so she let out a moan. She
then saw the nurse hit a button on the IV unit. She tried to say tell the
nurse that she was okay when her world went black again.
When next she woke up, she saw that it was light outside and there
was another nurse at her side checking her over. Again she started to moan
as the pain returned. She saw the nurse go for the button on the IV. Renee
knew that she had to react quickly or her world would be blackness again so
she creaked out a "No".
"You sure honey, it will help with the pain." The nurse told her.
"No, I'm okay for the moment." Renee creaked out with her dry mouth.
"Okay but if starts to hurt too bad then just hit this button here
and it will give you a dose of pain medication. Do you understand?" the
nurse told her.
"Yea, pain - button." Renee said as she licked her lips trying to
get them wet so that she could talk but her mouth was too dry.
"Do you need anything?" she asked.
"Can I have something to drink? My mouth feels like I have cotton in
it." Renee told her.
"Sure, let me go get you some fresh Sprite." She said as she went
out of the room returning a few minutes later with a cup with a straw
sticking out. She brought it over to Renee and then helped her to take a
sip. Renee was so thirsty that she took too big of a sip causing her to
cough and that brought pain from a different area as now her ribs were
hurting.
"Take is easy, little sips okay." The nurse said as she padded Renee
on the back and she wiped the Sprite from her chin.
"Okay, I'll go easier." Renee said now able to talk as she mouth was
wet but her leg and ribs were killing her. She wanted some pain medication
but she toughed it out as she didn't want to lose any more time.
"How long have I been here?" Renee asked the nurse.
"Ah... let me see, I'm new to this floor so I'm not real sure." The
nurse said as she reached over and took Renee by the wrist. She gently
turned it over looking at the band that was attached to her wrist. "It
looks like you got here on Friday night so that means you have been here
for five days now."
"I've been here for a five days. I need to get out and get home,
Sophie may be waiting for me." Renee said.
"Who's Sophie?" the nurse asked.
"She's the woman that was in the wreck with me." Renee said and she
saw the nurses face change to concern.
"The nightshift nurse told me that the other woman in the crash..."
The nurse was saying when she stopped herself as if she didn't want to be
the one to tell Renee that Sophie died.
"Yes she died but she told me she was coming back so I need to get
back home in case she is already there." Renee told the nurse seriously.
"I'm not sure that she will be able to do that honey." The nurse
said as she studied Renee very carefully.
"You don't know Sophie, if she sets her mind to something then she
will damn well do it." Renee told her getting irritated with the nurse whom
she was beginning to like up to that point.
"Okay..." the nurse said as she finished checking Renee over then
she told Renee about the pain button again and showed her where the call
button was. She hurried out of the room leaving Renee wondering why the
nurse seemed so hesitant to believe her about Sophie. She just figured that
she really didn't know Sophie.
Ian stopped in to see her as he went into work that morning. He told
her that everyone at work were thinking about her and praying for her. He
held her hand as he talked to her. But when she started to talk about how
she needed to get home so that she could be there when Sophie returned, he
seemed to grow sad. This confused her as she knew that if anyone would
believe her then it would be Ian but he seemed be confused as to what to
say to her. Soon he had to leave but he said that Ursula would be there as
soon as she got the boys off to school.
Renee had a few minutes to herself and she went over in her head the
last moments she had with Sophie. She figured that since no one believed
her that Sophie was going to come back then maybe she should rethink it. It
hurt to think about Sophie dying in her arms and she cried as she
remembered it but her mind would always go back to Sophie saying, "I've got
to go baby but I'll be back. I won't leave you for long, I promise." She
thought about those words and how Sophie had looked at her with those
strong eyes that was trying to hide the pain she was feeling. Sophie made
the promise to her and Renee just knew in her heart that she would do as
she said she would. Her mind told her that it wasn't possible but her heart
said that it could. She had followed her heart when she fell in love with
Sophie and she was going to follow her heart now. It didn't matter who
told her otherwise, she was going to believe in her Sophie.
When Ursula came in, Renee decided to try talking to her about
Sophie hoping that with all the time the three of them had spent together
that Ursula would believe her but she got the same reaction from her that
she had gotten from Ian. This frustrated her and she wanted to argue with
Ursula so that she could make her believe but the pain was beginning to get
to her. A little later the nurse came in with some breakfast for
her. Ursula helped her eat some before she had to push the button. She hit
it quickly not holding the button in but all the same, she found that she
was quickly drifting off to sleep.
When she woke, her parents were there to see her. Renee knew not to
mention Sophie to them so she let her mother fuss over her as her father
sat by her side holding her hand. She could see how worried he was about
her and that did make her feel good thought she hated that she was the
cause of his worry. They didn't stay long as they knew she need her rest so
that her bones could heal.
She was awake when the doctor came in late that afternoon. He told
her about all her injuries which included a broken left femur, five cracked
ribs and a broken right ankle. They had done surgery to put pins in her
femur and in her ankle but it would be a couple of months before she would
be walking again and even then she may have a limp. He also mention that
he wanted her to talk to a physiologist that he was sending to see her in
the morning if she would agree. She didn't want to talk to any shrink but
she had let the cat out of the bag and she knew now that this was something
she should have kept to herself. But she agreed to see the Doctor if only
to satisfy the doctors and she was sure Ian and Ursula would feel better
about it. She was able talk the doctor into getting rid of the pain pump
and let her take pills when she needed something. He told her about how
they were going to work with her to get her back on her feet.
Later that afternoon Ursula and Ian came back to see her and they
brought the boys with them. Renee was happy to see them and she saw that
they were scared at first seeing her right leg raised and her other foot in
a case. But she started to kid with them and fuss over them and that got
them feeling better. She was worn out by the time they left but she did
feel good to see the boys again. She took her pain pills and she thought
about the day that Sophie would come back to her as she fell to sleep.
The next morning after Ian had come to see her and before Ursula
arrived, the physiologist popped into the her room. She turned out to be a
middle aged woman who looked like someone's grandmother and not a
physiologist. Her name was Dr. Bailey and she sat by Renee's bed. She began
to ask Renee some innocent questions just getting her comfortable. Renee
knew what they lady was doing so she played along. Eventually the Doctor
got around to Sophie as Renee knew she would.
"So how are you dealing with the death of your friend?" Dr. Bailey
asked.
"Her name is Sophie and she wasn't just my friend, she was my
lover. We got engaged the night of the accident. We were talking about what
we wanted at our wedding when that asshole in the stolen car decided to
come across the line and hit us." Renee told the doctor with a bit more
venom than she intended but she was angry with that stupid asshole. He had
no right to take Sophie away from her.
"I apologize, I didn't mean to demean your relationship to Sophie. I
am sure that you loved each other very much." She told Renee.
"Yes we did and we still do and I know why you are here. I made the
mistake of telling the nurse about Sophie coming back to me and she had to
report it. This is what I believe and you nor anyone else is going to
change my mind. So if that is why you are here then you can pack up your
notebook and hit the door." Renee told her and Renee was slightly surprised
by the doctor's calm expression, like this was something her heard every
day and it was something that was entirely possible.
"The nurse was just doing her job so please don't be mad at her. And
my job here isn't to convince you of anything. I am just here to see if I
can be of any help. What we talk about is up to you and if you don't want
to talk to me then that is fine too." She told Renee.
"So do you think I am crazy?" Renee asked her.
"That isn't my job to determine that either. I am here just to talk
and to listen but mostly listen. Do you think you are crazy?" She asked.
"Hell no I don't! I know what Sophie said and I know just what my
Sophie is capable of." Renee said as she felt her blood beginning to boil
from her determination to make everyone see just what Sophie could
do. Renee looked at Dr. Bailey and saw a smile come to her face.
"So would you like to talk?" the doctor asked.
Renee looked her over trying to decide just what the doctor's angle
was but she couldn't see one. She just seemed like a nice lady who could
care so Renee decided that talking to her wouldn't hurt as long as she
didn't try to convince her that she was wrong in what she believed. So she
struck an agreement with her and they talked for about an hour with Renee
talking mostly about Sophie, always using the present tense and the doctor
never tried to correct her.
As the doctor left, Ursula came in making Renee suspect that Ursula
knew all about Dr. Bailey and why she was there but Renee didn't accuse her
of anything. They just talked until the nurse came in to bath her. Ursula
stayed to help and it made Renee feel better after she had gotten cleaned
up. She talked to Ursula for a while before she had to take a pain pill and
she slept for a while.
The next day, they got Renee out of the bed for the first time in
over a week. It was painful just getting from the bed to the chair but
Renee didn't care. She was beginning to hate that damn hospital bed and it
was nice to be sitting on her own. After about an hour, Renee was ready to
go back to the bed. The next day, she was out of the bed twice each for an
hour at a time. The physical therapist was coming in twice a day to work
with her. They left her hurting bad but after she had recovered from the
treatment, she did feel a little stronger. By the end of that week, she was
in a wheel chair and able to be rolled down the hallway. Her ribs still
hurt too much to allow her to move the wheelchair on her own but she was
determined to get out of the hospital as soon as she could. She just knew
that Sophie was waiting for her and she had to get to her. She spent
another week at the hospital before she was allowed to go home.
She wanted to go to her home but Ian and Ursula told her that she
still needed help getting in and out of the chair so the best place for her
was at their house where Ursula had fixed up the Sunroom for her. Renee
wanted to argue but she knew it was true. She still needed help just
getting to the bathroom. All the same she put up an argument with them but
in the end she accepted that she was better off at their place. However
that didn't stop her from making them stop at hers and Sophie's house.
When she asked, she saw Ian look over at Ursula who hesitated for a second
before nodding her head yes.
Once there, she made Ian help her into the wheel chair. She didn't
trust him to look for Sophie for her, she had to look for herself. When she
saw the yard and how the grass had grown, she fussed at Ian about it. He
promised to have it mowed the next day for her. He then helped her into the
house. Renee felt the tears start running down her face as she saw hers and
Sophie's house again. It was just like they had left it that fateful
night. She had Ian take her throughout the house., She kept expecting
Sophie to be around each corner but by the time that they had covered the
house, she was beginning to realize that Sophie wasn't going to be
there. She was about half afraid that Sophie may have come and gone when
she didn't find her waiting for her. Then it just hit her just where Sophie
would be and that would be out tending her roses and other flowers, so she
made Ian wheel her to the back porch. Renee was rushing her brother getting
frustrated that he wasn't opening the back door fast enough. Renee let her
eyes search around the back yard hoping past hope that her eyes would catch
a glimpse of her lover but alas, she wasn't there either. She felt sad for
a moment and she felt Ian's hand on her shoulder. That made her feel a
little better knowing that he was there with her.
"I sorry sis. I'm sure if she could have been here, she would have
been. It doesn't mean that she loved you any less. She loved you more than
life itself." Ian told her.
Renee turned her head back toward him catching him wiping a tear
from his eye. "I know but she will come back. I know that no one believes
me and that everyone thinks that I'm crazy but I'm not. She will return to
me!"
"I think we need to get you on home. You need to rest, it has been a
long day and the boys are waiting to see their favorite aunt. They have
helped their mom fix up the sunroom just for you." Ian told her.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure to fuss over them." Renee said smiling
as she noticed that he didn't make any comment that she wasn't crazy.
"I wasn't suppose to tell you but they really wanted to please you
with the decorations that they put up. I'm not quite sure that they will be
to your taste..." Ian said leaving the last unsaid.
Renee laughed which caused her ribs to hurt but it felt good to just
feel happy about something. "I have a funny feeling that my new room will
be fit for a eight and ten year old."
"Pretty close." Ian said laughing.
As it turned out, the sunroom wasn't as bad as Renee thought that it
would be but she did notice that Phillip's favorite Spiderman comforter was
on double bed. Gregory had put all of his posters of the galaxies that
Renee had always said she liked around the walls and also above the
bed. Renee made sure to fuss at both of the boys for giving up their
favorite things for her and she loved them for it. They gave her kisses and
hugs before Ursula pushed them out of the room so that she could help Renee
get undressed and in bed. Renee hated how helpless she was but that was the
way that things were at the moment but she was going to work hard to get
back onto her feet so that she could get back to Sophie's and hers home.
As soon as she was settled into the bed, Ursula made her take one of her
pain pills and she drifted off to sleep only waking when she heard the boys
fusing about something outside her window which was when Ursula came into
the room to check on her.
"I'm going to kill those boys." She said as she headed for the door
leading to the yard. "I'm sorry that they woke you and they will feel my
hand on their butts as they know that they were supposed to be quiet."
"No don't you dare say anything to them because of me. I'm here in
their home and you wouldn't fuss with at them if I wasn't here so you won't
while I'm here." Renee told Ursula leaving no doubt that she meant what she
said.
"Okay their off the hook this time but I'm going to talk to them
about being good while you are healing." Ursula said as she started to wave
trying to get her son's attention.
"Stop that now!" Renee yelled at her. "Come over here and talk to me
and let your boys be boys. They're good kids so let them be."
"Okay if you say so." Ursula as she made one last attempt to get her
son's attention. However they were having too much fun fussing at each
other to pay her any mind.
"I want you to do me a favor." Renee told Ursula and she saw that
look come over Ursula's face and Renee knew that Ursula was figuring that
it had something to do with Sophie and her coming back to her.
"What's that dear?" she said.
"I want you to talk Ian into letting me work from here. I know that
he said he would take care of everything until I was able to come back to
work but I will go crazy just sitting here. Plus he will work himself to
death and bug my employee's to death. You know how anal he can become."
Renee told her and she saw how relieved she was that it wasn't something
about Sophie.
"I'll see what I can do but you must promise not to do too much too
soon." Ursula told her.
"I won't, I promise." Renee said as she took her hand and placed it
on Ursula's giving it a squeeze.
They talked for a while before it was time for Ursula to fix dinner
and get her sons back inside to wash up. Renee heard Ursula fussing at them
for waking her up. She knew that Ursula would do it as much as she didn't
want her to. She didn't want to be a bother and she planned on healing as
fast as she could or as close as she could get to it. She would be in a
wheelchair until her femur healed enough for her to walk. And that the
doctors were saying would be another four to six weeks. Renee had her mind
set on four weeks at the most. Until then she would have to depend on Ian
and his family to get around.
The next four weeks passed slowly for Renee as she worked from her
Sunroom. This did take her mind away from Sophie for short periods of time
but Sophie was never far away. Ursula took her to physical therapy three
times a week and then once a week to talk to Dr. Bailey. When she talked to
Dr. Bailey she mostly talked about her life with Sophie and how great it
had been. She didn't talk about Sophie in the past tense and again
Dr. Bailey didn't correct her. Renee knew that Dr. Bailey was hoping that
she would come to that conclusion by herself but as the days passed she
just became more convinced that Sophie would be there at any time. It was
like every day that passed without Sophie just meant that she was a day
closer to seeing her again. She had stopped talking about Sophie coming
back when she was around anyone as no one seemed to believe her. For the
most part this didn't bother her except for when it came to Ian and
Ursula. They were the two people that she was the closest to other than
Sophie and it hurt her that they didn't believe her, though they never said
so to her face. They wouldn't dare, they loved her too much to say
something directly but she had heard them talking about it when they didn't
know she was awake or nearby. Their talk was always laced with concern as
they weren't putting her down, they just wanted her to face reality. Renee
never said anything to them as they did love her and they were taking great
care of her.
After a few weeks, she was able to get around on crutches and a
walking cast on her right ankle. This required her to use a whole new set
of muscles that she had never used before. So the first few trips on her
crutches was an adventure but she mastered it as quickly as she could. She
wanted to go home and the only way to do that was to be able to get around
on her own without falling. She had been having Ursula stop by the house as
she took her to therapy just so she could check for Sophie. Still Renee
wanted to be there when Sophie made it back to her. She had to stay at
their house for a little over a month before she convinced Ian and Ursula
that she could manage on her own. She also convinced Ian that she was ready
to go back to the plant. She was off the pain pills for the most part. The
only thing she couldn't do was drive, not with both legs in a casts. So she
still would have to depend on Ian to come and get her in the morning then
take her home after work.
However the day did come that she could come back to Sophie's house
which was now her house. Sophie had left it to her as well as half of her
money with the other half going to her parents. Ian and their family lawyer
had taken care of Sophie's will while Renee was in the hospital. After they
had gotten Renee into the house, Ian helped to arrange things for her to
make it easier to get around while Ursula went out to get her some
food. Then they hung around for a while just to make sure that she would be
okay. They kept repeating that she was welcome to stay with them for as
long as she wanted but Renee assured them that she was where she wanted and
needed to be. Finally she had to practically push them out the door.
It was only then that she could relax in hers and Sophie's home. She
used her crutches to move about the house getting a feel for it again. Her
eyes kept being drawn to things that Sophie cherished and those things made
her eyes tear up as she missed Sophie so damn much. She would hold whatever
object she was holding with great care. Each object held its own memory of
Sophie and Renee would relive each memory as she touched it. Eventually
too many memories were flooding into her mind so she went out to the back
porch to sit down. Sophie's roses seemed to be doing great even without
Sophie's loving care. It was if they wanted to look their best for when
Sophie returned. Renee noticed that the lawn care people didn't mow the
yard like Sophie liked it mowed so Renee vowed to fire them just as soon as
she was able to do it herself or better yet she and Sophie would get the
place back to what it was like before the stupid accident. She sat for a
while before going back inside and setting up her computer to finish up the
work that she didn't get done as she had to go see Dr. Bailey the day
before.
That night as she laid down in hers and Sophie's bed, she pulled
Sophie's pillow to her body. She inhaled deeply as she caught just a hint
of Sophie's perfume on the pillow. Renee felt the tears well up in her
eyes. She started to cry and soon she was sobbing not from grief but from
the fact that she just missed Sophie so damn much. She wanted her to hurry
up and return to her like she promised. She cried for a while before she
fell asleep. Sunday she woke up early hoping to find Sophie laying beside
of her but today wasn't going to be the day, as she woke up just like she
went to bed alone with Sophie's pillow held tightly in her arms. She had
just gotten her coffee made when Ursula called to supposedly talk but Renee
it was just a call to make sure she made it through the night. Renee talked
for a while before the boys began to demand Ursula's attention so she said
her goodbyes while fussing at her kids. Renee relaxed for most of the day
before getting her things ready to go to work then next day.
She woke bright and early Monday morning, again alone but at least
she had work to go to. She hobbled to the bathroom to start getting
ready. She then got herself some coffee and something to eat before she
returned to the bedroom to get dressed. She first pulled out a pant suit
deciding that it would be comfortable then she looked down on the casts on
her legs realizing that she would be wearing dresses for awhile. She went
back to her closet to find a dress to wear but all she had was fancy
dresses that weren't made to work in. She had not thought of this problem
but now that it was in front of her, she had to solve it. She knew there
was only one solution, so she picked up her cell phone and called Ursula
who was about the same size as she was and would have a couple of dresses
that she could wear. Ursula first laughed at Renee's problem as she hadn't
thought of that either then she said she would send some dresses by Ian.
She also said that she would go out and buy her some more and drop them by
the house that night. Renee said that she didn't have to do that but Ursula
had already started talking about which stores she would hit and what would
look good on Renee, who knew that come that evening Ursula would have her
plenty of dresses to wear whether she liked it or not.
When she first arrived at the plant, she saw a big banner across the
entrance welcoming her back to work. Then as Ian helped her inside, she was
escorted directly to the plant floor where she found all of the workers
standing there and a big cheer rang out. As much as Renee didn't want to
cry, she did so anyway. Ian helped to hold her up as it was hard to balance
on her walking cast as she held the leg with the broken femur off the
ground. She told everyone how happy she was to be back and thanked them for
all their cards and flowers. She was presented with a dozen roses from the
machine operators and that made her think of Sophie and how she wished that
she was here to see this. She felt her tears begin again and this was when
Ian decided it was time to get her to her office as she could tell the
effect that the roses had on Renee.
When they got to her office, she found another banner from her
workers however they chose to be more lighthearted with their welcome as
their banner stated, "The Boss Lady is back! Playtime is over!" Renee
laughed at seeing this and she told her workers that they were right, she
was back and she was going to work their asses off. However it was another
hour of talking and being welcomed before everyone returned to their
offices and Renee was able to turn on her computer. Ian had set up a table
to the side of her desk where she could put her computer and it left room
for her to prop up her legs when they began to hurt. She still had to keep
them elevated for a few minutes each hour or so to keep the swelling
down. It took Renee most of the morning to get back into the swing of
things. But soon her employees were coming in to ask her things like
always. It was so much easier to handle the problems from her office than
it was from home using her phone and computer. By mid afternoon, Renee was
beginning to wear out and when Ian came stating that he was going to leave
a little early and he hoped that she didn't mind. Renee looked at him
trying to see if he was doing this because he wanted to leave early or was
doing it for her. Renee couldn't tell but she suspected that this was for
her but it really didn't matter as she did need to go home. So he helped
her out, and then onto her home. He helped her to the couch and she was
sound asleep before he could make it out the door.
A couple of hours later she awoke to someone shaking her
arm. "Sophie is that you?" Renee asked as she opened her eyes quickly.
"No hon, it's me Ursula." She said as Renee saw the disappointment
in Ursula's eyes.
"Oh sorry, I thought for a moment that Sophie had come back." Renee
said as she sat up with Ursula's help.
"Renee you know how much I love you but..." Ursula was saying before
Renee stopped her.
"But I need to realize that Sophie isn't ever coming back right?"
Renee told her.
"Yes you do. I just don't want you to keep going like this,
eventually you're going to come to know that I'm right and that she isn't
going to ever come back no matter how much you want her to or how much she
wanted to come back to you. You two had something very special and it was
taken away much too soon but there is nothing that can change that now."
Ursula said as she placed her hand on Renee's giving it a loving squeeze.
"I know that you believe what you believe but I have different
beliefs and no one knows Sophie like I did and what she is capable of so
let's just agree to disagree okay." Renee told her.
"Okay but know that Ian and I are here for you whenever you need
us." Ursula told her as she leaned over to give Renee a hug which she
accepted. Then when they parted Renee could see in Ursula's eyes that she
hadn't given up on trying to convince her that Sophie wasn't coming
back. Renee accepted this as coming from love and she knew it was something
that she would just have to deal with when Ursula or Ian brought the
subject up. And now they would since Ursula had brought it out in the open.
Ursula then helped Renee up and they went to the kitchen to fix some
coffee. They sipped it as Ursula asked Renee about her first day back and
how things had gone. Renee talked as they sipped their coffee then they
went to the bedroom where Ursula had about a dozen dresses laid put on the
bed. They all were very pretty and expensive as Ursula had expensive taste
when it came to clothes. Renee told her that she didn't have to spend that
much as she knew that there was about fifteen hundred to two thousand
dollars worth of clothes laying in front of her. Ursula passed it off, then
she helped Renee to start trying them on. So Renee did a little fashion
show finding that Ursula had done well as they all fit and they all looked
great and easy to put on and off which in Renee's case was very
important. By the time that the fashion show was done, Ian had arrived with
the boys and pizza, so they sat out on the porch to eat. Then as the adults
talked as the boys played in the yard.
The first week was hard but by the end of it, Renee was able to make
it through the day. Work was when she could stop missing Sophie so much but
she was still never far from her mind. All she had to do was look at the
picture of she and Sophie that she had on her desk to be reminded of the
love that she had lost and was waiting for her to return to her. The nights
were much harder for her. She missed her so much, as then she was alone
with her thoughts. She wondered what Sophie was doing and how she was
trying to get back to her. She could almost feel it in her heart the
struggles that Sophie was going through. When she laid down in the bed, she
would pull Sophie's pillow to her to smell her perfume that she had place
there. The scent that was there when she had returned to the house had long
disappeared. She washed her sheet regularly but the pillow case on Sophie's
pillow, she never washed. She left it alone as it was the only thing that
she had that still had something of Sophie on it.
Ursula made sure to call her every night to make sure she was doing
fine and she would come over a couple of times a week to talk. Renee left
the house only to go to work and then to go to see her nephews every couple
of weeks, otherwise she stayed by the house so that she could be there when
Sophie made her return. She just couldn't stand the thought of Sophie
returning and she not be there. The morning was the hardest for Renee as
she would wake up expecting to see Sophie. She tried not to be disappointed
but as the time went along, she did begin to feel some disappointment creep
into her soul.
The day that she was able to get her casts off was a high day for
Renee as this meant that she could get out and about on her own. This was a
little bit of freedom that she had lost and now had back. She hated having
to depend on Ian and Ursula to take her where she needed to be. Sometimes
it was nice to have Ursula along with her as she did her shopping but there
were times she just wanted to do it alone. Now she could go wherever she
wanted to go and go whenever she wanted to go. This also meant that she
could fire the firm that Ian had hired to keep the lawn mowed and do it
herself. She didn't like the way that they did it as Sophie liked to have
her lawn looking perfect. So that was the first thing that she did was to
get the lawn mowers out so that she could mow all the while Ursula was
fussing at her for taking things too fast just right after getting the
casts off. Renee just replied that this was the best therapy that she could
get. In the end, Ursula ended up getting out there to help her so that
Renee could get off her feet sooner. By the time that they were done, poor
Ursula was worn out and Renee wasn't much better off. Ursula had Ian bring
them some food on his way home from work as they both were too tired to get
up off the porch to cook it. The next morning, Renee could tell that she
hadn't been working her muscles as she was sore and stiff. Her leg and foot
both hurt but at least she could get up and hobble into the bathroom
without having to use her crutches. However she still needed to go through
physical therapy for another couple of months so that she could get her
muscles built up again. She just figured that anything else she did would
only help her get back to normal.
The rest of the summer she worked hard on getting the lawn and
flower gardens into shape. It was good for her to work on something that
Sophie would appreciate but she so wanted Sophie to be directing the work
and her just doing whatever Sophie wanted done. Now she was having to make
the decisions and do the work. She only wished that she had paid more
attention to what Sophie was saying and not just watching Sophie's sweat
soak body as she worked, making her look so sexy to Renee. Then as winter
came about the waiting for Sophie became harder as she didn't have the
outdoor work to keep her occupied. It got darker earlier and that just
seemed to bring her mood down. She was still positive in her believe that
Sophie would come back even though Ian and Ursula didn't seem to believe
her. But as the winter bore down on her, she began to talk to Sophie at
night when she was alone in bed. She just kept asking her to hurry up and
get back to her. The long cold nights were getting to her. She didn't have
Sophie's warm body to snuggle up to on those cold winter nights.
As the first anniversary of Sophie's death came close, Renee began
to believe that would the day that Sophie would come back, as that would be
the perfect timing for Sophie's return. Renee worked hard on the house
getting it ready. Ursula called every night of that week as she tried to
get Renee to come over just so that she wouldn't be alone. But Renee
refused all the offers from her. So Ursula set Ian on her, however he
didn't have any more luck than Ursula had. Renee was determined to be alone
so that she could have Sophie all to herself. The day came and Renee left
work early, which worried Ian but there wasn't anything he could do about
it. Renee went home and took a long bath so that she would smell prefect
for Sophie. She put some wine onto chill then she went out on the porch to
wait for Sophie. Her eyes never left the rose garden as that would be where
Sophie would appear as that was her favorite place to be. The hours wound
past but no Sophie appeared. Her eyes got heavy and she fought off sleep
however it got the better of her. She sent out a silent plea to Sophie to
come back to her as she fell asleep.
"Renee honey, you need to get inside." Renee heard as she felt
someone shaking her arm.
"Sophie, that you?" Renee cried out as she opened her eyes only to
see a dark form in front of her.
"No," Ursula said as she put her hand to Renee's face caressing
it. "I figured that you would be out here tonight so when I woke up in the
middle of the night worrying about you I decided that maybe you might need
someone. I know you didn't want Ian or me here but I decided that you would
get me whether you liked it or not."
"You're a lot like Sophie, you know that?" Renee said as she felt
the sadness begin to pool within her heart.
"That's what Ian tells me when I'm bitching at him about something."
Ursula said with a smile.
"Well I'm sure he deserves it." Renee said as she let out a long
sigh.
"Oh he does but he is a good man and I do love him to death..."
Ursula said then realizing that the word death wasn't appropriate right at
that moment, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way."
"It's cool, I know what you meant." Renee said.
"Come on let's get out of this cool air before we both come down
with a cold." Ursula said as she stood up then she helped Renee up.
"You think I'm crazy to believe that Sophie is going to come back
don't you?" Renee asked as she followed Ursula into the house.
"No I don't think you're crazy but I do think that you are deluding
yourself to believe that she'll come back. I just don't want you to crash
one day when you realize that she isn't coming back." Ursula told her as
they got to the kitchen.
"I know, you've said that before but I know I'm right." Renee told
her feeling defensive. She hated having to defend herself to everyone about
Sophie.
"Honey, it has been a year and she hasn't returned, I just wish you
would accept it and get on with your life." Ursula told her.
"My life is with Sophie and when she returns then I will get on with
my fucking life!" Renee said getting irritated and angry with Ursula.
"Okay, I just had to say it, but now let's just talk a minute before
we go to bed. Maybe things will be better in the morning." Ursula said as
she put her hand on Renee's hand.
"I just want you to believe me. And have Ian believe me too. He is
my brother and he should support me." Renee said feeling depressed as it
felt like it was her against the world.
"He does believe in you and so do I. You are our family and we will
stand by you no matter what." Ursula said as she leaned over and gave Renee
a hug and when Renee resisted Ursula held her tighter. Finally Renee gave
in and she hugged Ursula back which did make her feel somewhat better.
Renee then changed the subject as they sipped the tea that Ursula
made for them. But as Renee tasted the tea, she was just reminded of Sophie
that much more. Tea was her favorite drink whether it be hot or cold. No
more was mentioned of Sophie or her return. At about two AM, Ursula put
Renee to bed making sure that she fell asleep before going to the spare
bedroom for some sleep herself. Renee woke up the next morning feeling more
depressed than she had ever felt so she was glad to see Ursula come from
the spare bedroom. Ursula suggested over breakfast that they take the day
for themselves. Renee knew she should go to work but at that moment getting
away from everything sounded too good to pass up. So they spent the day
shopping stopping to eat at diner where they could sit outside and enjoy
the nice day. Ursula stayed with her until early evening when she had to go
as it was her turn to put the boys to bed.
That night, Renee thought about Sophie and her promise to
return. For the first time she began to feel a little doubt about her
returning and that scared her. She was afraid that it meant that the love
she had with Sophie wasn't as strong as she had believed that it was. She
thought about the night of Sophie's death and she could see the way that
Sophie looked at her when she had promised to return. She just knew that
Sophie would returned so she tried to drive the doubt from her
mind. However as the days passed a sort of depression began to feed into
her body. She had a harder time getting up in the mornings and when she
returned at night, all she wanted to do was to go to bed. And she began to
talk more to Sophie as she tried to fall asleep. She talked to her as if
she was there as it was the only way that she could keep her fresh in her
mind.
This didn't go unnoticed by Ian and Ursula as they began to try to
get her out of the house. They even enlisted their boys help and she would
do things for them that she wouldn't for Ian or Ursula. Of course, Ian and
Ursula saw that and they used the boys more and more just to get Renee out
of the damn house. They knew that she was creeping into a deep depression
which was what they feared would happen sooner or later.
Renee would cry herself to sleep and the morning got that much
harder to face. When she woke up and Sophie wasn't there, she just wanted
to bury her face in the pillow and just cry. But she would get up and force
herself to get ready for work. However she began to find reasons to leave
early saying she had things she needed to get done but all she did was to
go home and go to bed where she could dream about Sophie.
Then came the morning when she just couldn't make herself get out of
bed. She called in saying that she wasn't feeling good which was the truth
in a way. She did feel bad, so god damn bad. Ian called her to make sure
she was okay and Renee tried to sound upbeat but it took all her ability to
do so, and she obviously wasn't all that convincing as about ten minutes
after his call, Ursula called saying that she was coming over. She was
going to take her out for some girl talk. Renee told Ursula that she just
didn't feel up to company but she assured Ursula that she was fine,
everything was cool. Again she had to do the best acting job that she had
ever done in her life and she was able to put Ursula off however she wasn't
so sure that Ursula wouldn't show up anyway. But when she hung up the
phone, she burst into tears as she wasn't so sure that she could go on any
longer. She needed her Sophie with her and if she wasn't going to come to
her then maybe she needed to go to Sophie. She wasn't sure how she needed
to do it but the thought had now entered her mind. She cried hard to the
point of sobbing so hard that she whole body shook. She had finally reached
the bottom and there wasn't any reserve in her tank. She just kept crying
until she was exhausted and she fell back to sleep.
Her dreams were filled with all these weird scenes with her and
Sophie, none of them lasting long enough for her to make sense of them. It
was just Sophie or Sophie and her going through time, some were of things
that they had done but others were new to her that she couldn't place. Then
the dreams suddenly changed, Sophie felt nearer to her, like she was next
to her. She could smell the natural scent that was Sophie. She felt herself
waking up so she tried to make herself go back to sleep. This was the
closest that she had felt to Sophie since she had died and she wasn't ready
to let it go. She felt the sleep leave her and no matter how hard she tried
it wasn't going to return.
"Oh god Sophie, where are you?" Renee cried out with desperation
echoing in her voice.
"I'm right here babe, all you got to do is open your eyes and you'll
see me." Renee heard a voice say that sounded just like Sophie.
"Oh god, I have gone crazy!" Renee cried out.
"Oh hell you went crazy a long time ago but that is besides the
point." The voice said and Renee closed her eyes tighter as she knew she
couldn't stand to open them and Sophie not be there but the voice was so
fucking convincing.
"Oh Sophie..." Renee moaned as the tears started to fall from her
eyes.
"Oh baby, you don't need to cry anymore, I'm here just like I said I
would be." Renee heard then she felt someone touch her cheeks wiping the
tears from her eyes. Then she felt that someone kiss her right then left
eye. Renee so wanted to open her eyes but she was so afraid. She didn't
want to find out that it wasn't Sophie and feel the heart wrenching
disappointment again. Then she felt a pair of lips touch her lips. The
lips were soft and full, Renee had felt only one set of lips like the ones
she was feeling now in her life and they belonged to Sophie. So as the kiss
ended, Renee allowed herself to slowly open her eyes. She first saw the
black hair and then the bright green eyes looking back at her. Then she saw
the sweet full smile and she knew that her Sophie had come back to her.
"Oh god, you came back!" Renee screamed as she wrapped her arms
around Sophie pulling her in a tight embrace. She hugged her as tight as
she could.
"Baby," Sophie grunted out, "Go easy."
Renee loosened her grip on Sophie fearing that she had angered her
and that Sophie would leave her again. Her emotions were on the edge so
anything that Sophie said scared her. "Did I do something wrong, I'm sorry
if I did." Renee said as she started to cry from her fear of losing Sophie
so soon.
"No baby, you're fine, I just needed to breath." Sophie said smiling
as she pushed Renee onto her back and she laid on top of her. "Now wrap
those wonderful arms around me and hold me tightly, I have missed you so
much."
Renee smiled as she hugged Sophie, holding her tightly as Sophie had
asked her to do. She felt Sophie's warm body against her as she realized
that Sophie was naked and she could feel her breasts pressed against her
breasts and she could feel Sophie's pubic hair rub against her shaved
pussy. "Oh babe, I have missed you too. I missed you so damn bad." Renee
said as she looked into Sophie's beautiful green eyes that were sparkling
like they had always done.
Sophie slowly lowered her head to kiss Renee who wanted to keep her
eyes open for fear that when she closed them that Sophie would disappear
again however nature was too strong for her and she ended up closing
them. She could still feel those warm lips touching her lips and when those
lips opened Renee welcomed Sophie's tongue into her mouth. Renee sucked on
it then when Sophie's tongue retreated, Renee eased her tongue into
Sophie's mouth. Feeling Sophie suck on her tongue, Renee had to let out a
moan. This was what she had waited for over a year for and as that thought
came to her, Renee felt a moment of anger come over her so she pushed
Sophie off of her.
Renee sat up in the bed and as she looked over at Sophie who had a
surprised look on her face Renee turned on her. "What took you so fucking
long to come back to me? You promised me that you would come back to me and
I waited and waited for you. But you never came back until now. Why so
long?" Renee asked as she broke down in tears.
"Baby I'm sorry, I really am. I tried and tried to get back sooner
but I couldn't. I really did try. Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean
to die on you and I knew I had a promise to keep but it just wasn't
possible or maybe I didn't try hard enough but I don't know how I could
have tried harder, I did everything I knew to do to get back to you."
Sophie said as she slipped up next to Renee and she put her hands to
Renee's face wiping the tears from her face.
"Oh I'm sorry, it's just that no one believed me when I said that
you would come back to me, not even Ian and Ursula which really pisses me
off. I so wanted you back and the longer it took, the harder it was for
me. I know I had to keep believing but I admit that I was beginning to
doubt myself and I guess I was beginning to doubt you too. I didn't want to
but it was just that..." Renee said as she felt Sophie pull her in. Renee
laid her head on Sophie's shoulder allowing Sophie to caress her back.
"Baby I was beginning to doubt that I would be able to keep my
promise too but I knew that I had made a promise to you and it was a
promise that I had to keep. You were depending on me and I couldn't let you
down. I know I'm a little late but I got here, I got back to the lady I
love so damn much." Sophie told her.
"I know and I will never doubt you again." Renee said as she pulled
back so that she could look into Sophie's eyes. I do love you so much
babe." Renee then leaned in a gave Sophie a soft kiss.
"And I love you too." Sophie repeated as they kissed again then they
just held each other tightly for a while with neither wanting to let
go. They just sat there in the bed hugging and giving kisses to each
other's cheeks and necks. Renee was content to just hold Sophie for the
rest of the day however her curiosity got the better of her.
"Just where did you go and how did you come back?" Renee said as she
loosened her grip on Sophie so that she could look into Sophie's eyes.
"I'll tell you what, if you'll fix us something to eat, then I'll
tell you all about it." Sophie told her with a wink.
"It's a deal, I could use something to eat too." Renee said as she
gave Sophie a kiss then she started to get up helping Sophie at the same
time.
"Is my robe where I left it?" Sophie asked as she followed Renee out
of the bedroom.
"Leave it off, I have missed looking at that beautiful body of
yours." Renee said as she turned her head to give Sophie a wink of her
own. And that was when Renee's mind went back to the night of the accident
and she remembered seeing Sophie broken body. She now realized that
Sophie's body was like it was before the accident while she still had a
slight limp from her shattered ankle and scars on her upper leg and ankle
where she had surgery to put the pins in. It was something that the Doctor
said that she would always have. Renee decided that was another thing she
was going to have to ask Sophie however Sophie's response to her answer got
her attention back to the present.
"I have missed seeing that body of yours too and all the things that
I did to that body." Sophie said as she came up behind of Renee wrapping
her arms around her waist.
"It isn't as nice as it once was, I have put on a couple of pounds
and I have a few scars that weren't there before." Renee said as she felt
self-conscious about her body, more so than she did before Sophie died.
Sophie turned Renee around then looking into her eyes, "You are just
as beautiful as you always were to me baby." Then she kissed her
passionately and that got Renee's engines running. However before Renee
could get too excited, Sophie ended the kiss and then snuck into the
bathroom first so when Renee got there, Sophie was already sitting on the
toilet peeing.
"Still not playing fair, I see." Renee said smiling.
"Nope," Sophie replied giving Renee another of her sexy winks.
"Figures," Renee said but she couldn't help smiling as anything
Sophie did right then would be fine with her. Then as Sophie washed her
hands, Renee sat down on the toilet so that she could pee which she had to
do a lot worse than she realized as she hadn't peed since she went to bed
early the day before. So she was still peeing when Sophie came over to give
her a kiss then she left the bathroom swishing her ass at Renee who felt
her pussy give her a tingle.
"I thought that I was suppose to fix you something to eat.' Renee
said as she entered the kitchen to see Sophie at the stove heating up some
chicken breasts. She was wearing a apron that covered her front so that she
wouldn't get burned if the grease splashed up from the pan.
"If I remember correctly, I was the better cook and since I just got
back here I didn't want you to give me food poisoning and send me back."
Sophie told her without turning around. Renee stuck her tongue out at
Sophie for making that comment about her cooking. "I saw that," Sophie
said.
"Saw what?" Renee asked innocently.
"Whatever you did and don't say you didn't do anything, I know you
better than that." Sophie said this time she did turn around as Renee stuck
her tongue back out at her.
"Caught you!" Sophie said causing Renee to laugh and blush at the
same time.
"Yes you did. So what do you want me to do?" Renee asked changing
the subject.
"I want you to sit there and talk to me. After you, cooking was the
thing that I missed the most." Sophie told her.
Renee wanted to argue with her but then she saw the look in Sophie's
eyes seeing that Sophie was smiling at her showing how happy she was to be
at the stove cooking and to tell the truth, Renee missed Sophie's cooking
as she was very good at it. So she went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle
of favored water for her and Sophie. She had bought some of the kind that
Sophie had liked when the first anniversary of Sophie's death neared as
that was when she thought that would be the day that she would come
back. She handed Sophie her water taking the opportunity to give her a kiss
before sitting at the table. She first just sat there and watched Sophie
ass move as she shifted from one foot to the other. "Oh god I have missed
that ass." Renee thought to herself.
"Take a picture it will last longer." Sophie said.
"What?" Renee asked as she came back down to earth to see Sophie
staring at her with her hands on her hips. "Did you grow eyes in the back
of your head while you were gone?" Renee asked wondering if she really had.
"No but I asked you twice what has happened to you while I was gone
and when I turned around, you were just staring at me." Sophie said as she
smiled at her.
"I'm sorry but I guess I got lost in your beauty." Renee told her as
Sophie blushed a bit.
"Thank you," Sophie said then she came over putting her hand under
Renee's chin, lifting it so that she could give her a kiss that Renee
gladly accepted.
"Now tell me about you while I do my thing... and try not to stare
at my cute firm ass... well try not to stare too much." Sophie said as she
gave Renee another kiss then she went back to the stove.
"I'll try but it will be hard not to stare..." Renee said making
Sophie blush and smile.
"I know... I'm just too damn cute..." Sophie said saucily, then she
gave her ass a wiggle causing Renee to giggle. "Now tell me about what has
happened to you."
Renee thought for a second trying to decide where to start and what
all to tell Sophie when she looked up to see Sophie staring at her, "I'm
not sure where to start..." Renee said.
"The beginning is usually the best place to start and don't leave
out any details." Sophie told her as she went to the pantry to get a can
of tomato paste.
"The first thing that I did after you died," Renee said feeling
funny saying that to Sophie with her standing there right in front of her
but then it wasn't, "was to cuss the cop out for trying to help me and not
you but then he knew what I would always refused to accept, then when I
moved, the pain from my leg and ankle hit and I blacked out. I woke up a
couple of days later in the hospital with Ian and Ursula there. The first
thing I did was to ask where you were and they had to tell me that you had
died. That was when I remembered your promise. So I told them what you had
said as you died." Renee said then she paused for a moment as she thought
about their reaction to what she had said then she went on with her
story. Renee told Sophie all about having to talk to the physiologist and
then continue to talk to her long after she left the hospital just to keep
Ian and Ursula happy. The story went on through the meal, though she took a
break to enjoy Sophie's meal that tasted so delicious that the food seemed
to melt into her mouth bursting into a thousand different tastes as the
spices and herbs that Sophie favored her food with came forth with each
chew.
But then once they had eaten, Renee helped Sophie with the dishes as
she continued her story then they went out to the porch as her story went
on. She saw at times how sad the story made Sophie but then at other times
she could see how proud Sophie was of her for continuing to believe in her
long after most people would have gave in and accepted that she was gone
forever. They both cried at times and they laughed at others parts of the
story. It took Renee most of the afternoon to tell Sophie everything she
could remember and when she thought she had run out of things to say, she
came up with other things that she just had to say. Her soul mate was
there, the one person she could tell everything too without fear of being
laughed at or being rejected. She had missed being able to just talk and
now that she could really spill her soul again, she found that she just
couldn't stop. However she finally found that she had said everything that
she needed to say but not all what she could say. That would come later as
she had time to think. The last part was the hardest to tell as that was
when she had begun to doubt Sophie's ability to return and she was ashamed
that she had even begun to feel that way but it seemed that Sophie
understood what she had gone through so she understood just what Renee had
to face.
"So now it's your turn babe." Renee said as she sat back having
finished her story for now.
End of Par Four
To be Continued...
Please let me know what you think of my story. I welcome all comments good
or bad. You can email me at numlfl@hotmail.com