Date: Mon, 8 Apr 2002 20:50:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: rainerotica@yahoo.com
Subject: Haven part 1

Hi there, writing to see if everyone's ok, well I'm ok but my heart
isn't. It is such an honor to write something like this and I never
expected it will be this soon, and I thank my inspiration that brought me
into this thanks SD.

HAVEN

Chapter 1: Adia

She's addicted, I'm addicted, I don't know what to do I'm wanting more and
more and I breathe very hard, I have this butterfly in my stomach.

"Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!"

It hurts so much my mom hit me with a bunch of clothes, all because I
didn't check whether her shirt pocket have some pieces of paper and I gave
it to the laundry, maybe she has some money left in it.

Well anyway, what can I do? I'm frustrated whether my life would make any
sense to others or not, it kills me when some of them ignore me like I'm
some kind of a dirt. My class started that day, in the morning I see
familiar faces, those people whom I cared for and some that are going to be
the "add ups" to my life. Saying good morning and smile to those I don't
know or waited to be known but

I'll try my best to remember their names. The phrase that I hate
"remembering names" I'm having so much trouble because of that. My friend
once get angry because I kept forgetting her name, sometimes I call her
"hey" or "person" and the worst is "what is your name?" my friend Mitch
attack me with her teeth that make some bruises on my arm.

" Yen! You'll pay for what you've done to me!"

" What? Mitch you know that I will not hurt you as long as we're friends,
so to speak"

" So you don't consider me as a friend"

" Of course I do, it's the air that a breathe, the water that I drink and
the booger that I pick!"

" Ha! Ha! Ha! You're so corny you know that, and you think that it's funny!
The booger that I pick, hmmp!"

" What's wrong with you?" my eyebrow raised as high as a mountain

" You know what you called me?" with that look that can kill a dead fly

" Pignose? Bigass? Bighair? What?" with a face sort of thinking

" Person! Dumbass! Why do you have to forget my name?"

" Because."

" Because what?"

" Because, I really kept forgetting your name, but you're not the only one,
there's... what's her name again?"

" Leny! And please Yen practice to remember"

" Ok, ok, like it's easy" I let out a tongue

The class started, everybody has their own groups and some of them
communicate with the other group. It's funny though because they look like
they've known each other for so long. The place is like a party some people
walk around, some exchange kisses when they met and the boys hang at the
back of the seat. You can notice everybody is doing something and talking
to someone. `This will going to be a fun semester' I thought. The door
opened and I saw a familiar face, I remember that my high school friend
will be my classmate for this semester, oh hell this is going to be real
fun. I called out!

" Raine! Over here!"

" Yen!" she smiled walking towards me.

We kissed and hugged then we talk about many things. We live in the same
state that's why we've known each other for five years and known each
other's deepest and darkest secrets, well hers, not much of mine but she
knows it somehow. The door swung open, here come 3 girls with a smile on
their faces, they walk towards us, and they are Raine's friends last
semester, well until now. She introduced me to them.

" Yen, these are my friends Tonet, Liz, and Rhys, guys this is Yen my
friend since high school"

" Hi!" I wave my hand and smile

" Hi!" Tonet gives a small smile; Liz gives a warm smile and Rhys giving
out a nice wave at the hand So the conversation is going nicely then Mitch
came from the outside

" Yen!" signaling to come over there

" You're the one who need me, you're the one who come here" with that look
on her face that says, " I hate You" walk right over

" Before anything else I'd like you to meet my friend Raine from high
school and her friends Tonet, Liz and what is your name again? Mitch with a
grin on her face

" Rhys."

" Oh right, and Rhys, this is my friend Mitch" they exchange hi's and
hello's and Mitch return to me and give me a look that says, " come on!"

" If you guys, excuse us for a while"

" Sure, not at all" Raine said with a smile

" What is wrong with you?" Mitch pointed at someone and I look over the
direction and saw Claude her ex-boyfriend talking to his friends.

" So?" I said with my eyebrow raised

" So, he is still cute, right?"

" Oh my god! Mitch get something to fix your eyes on, if not a second
longer Claude will be melt as an ice" I told her with disgust.

" And so what, I like him that way and always will"

" You're still in love with him, are you?" she nods and lean against me, I
felt her giggle by my side

" Get a grip, find another boyfriend"

" Oh yeah, why don't I do that" with a smile on her face

" You're sick you know that" we return to the class and not a minute longer
our professor walk right in and orient us. It's the first day of classes
that's why we don't do much for the rest of the day.  All I do is sit next
to Mitch and of course it's kind of boring, I guess?  But I hug her every
now and then that makes her body move like a tortured kitten. I'm quite
large but it just suite my height that is 5'8 and attract every body with
my large breast not so large just sexy enough to show my shape. I have
short hair that can use some designs on it, in short I'm beautiful, talk
about self- confidence. The whole day my eyes is fixed on Tonet and
appreciate her body, it's not perfect but her shoulder looks nice and her
height is just perfect for her and she's beautiful too, but her hair is
stiff and need some relaxing. I told Mitch about it, she doesn't agree much
because she prefers the character than the features. Even though it's only
the first time we officially met, I knew Tonet by face I recognize her
because of her body but I don't think of her after that, and I didn't
expect to be her classmate. I'm a bisexual I know that since I'm little and
now that I'm older I guess I can call myself as a lesbian I became more
attracted to women every year of my life. But nobody knows it until now I'm
afraid to face the consequences but sometimes I show it without anyone
noticing it. My mom suspects it, even Mitch, I think she knows but she
doesn't mind, I know she's a bisexual but he just have relationship with
guys. And me I have a boyfriend once but we didn't last, our relationship
last for 1 day, if you call it a relationship, and we never speak to each
other again.

" Hey, what are you thinking?" suddenly a hand waiving in front of me

" Huh?" I said after coming back to the world

" You're odd you know that, sometimes you're very noisy then suddenly you
stop and stare from far away," said a familiar voice

" She does it all the time, ever since, that's her hobby"

" Oh shut up Raine! I know a lot about you than you to me" I glared

" Fine, fine it doesn't need to go to that part of my story"

" I'm sorry, I just been disturbed from my daydreaming" I smiled at Tonet

" Oh, and that is my fault?" Tonet with a stare

" Ok stop it guys, it's just the first day, you don't have to argue so
fast" Mitch pulling me to go home

" Guys see you tomorrow!" I called

" Ok! Take care!" they yelled back

While we walk Mitch is looking at me, looks like she knows something that I
don't know. I ignored her as we kept walking, the usual position our arms
crossed while we were walking and looking for someone we knew.  We wave as
we saw someone, feeling like a celebrity with a touch of miss friendship at
the side. We kept walking and she kept staring with a grim smile.

" What are you trying to prove with that look? You're so annoying you know
that?"

" I know." She said with a smile like insulting me with all her might and
it's working.

We reach the waiting shed and wait for the taxi to take home Mitch. Her
home is miles from school and I just live in a nearby boarding house. We
kissed on the cheeks and she buzzes off. I got home pretty exhausted from
the day and lay on the bed.

" Hi! How's your day?" Tim said, she is my roommate, she and I are friends
since elementary and we are godsisters so I treated her as my younger
sister since I'm one year older than her but we are in the same level.

" Good" I said. She is on the second deck of the bed and she just kept
quite and later on fell asleep same as me.

Chapter 2: Cry

In places no one would find, all your feelings so deep inside, was there
that I realize, that forever was in your eyes the moment I saw you
cry. Mitch cried that morning when she saw Claude with the other woman; I
comfort her and give her advises that a friend should give.

" That bitch, once I lay my hands on her she will be in a complete wreck"
she said with her fist closed

" Will you please get over it, you're over reacting again"

" I don't care!"

" Ok, fine!"

We went in our room, we saw Tonet crying and she just keep quiet while
Raine, Liz and Rhys tell something to her. We want to come there to know
what's happening but we thought to just leave them alone. The lesson went
quite well and the eyes of my two friends are swollen and red because of
crying. I went over to Raine and ask her.

" Hey!"

" Hey!"

" What is wrong with Tonet?"

" She just broke up with Haj"

My heart leap a bit, feeling sympathy, she have the same problem with
Mitch.  Well I thought I could help them with that maybe give her some
piece of advice and tell her she's not the only one who is in grieve. I
walk over to Tonet.

" Hey, are you alright?"

" Yes" she sobbed a little, I want to tell her what I think but I hesitated
a minute she looked at me and

" Do you want to tell me something?"

" Ah, umm, er, YES"

" Then what is it?"

" I know what you've been going through and. I just want to tell you that
you're not alone"

" Did you break up with your boyfriend too?"

" Actually it's not me, it's Mitch"

" Oh, and she told you everything"

" In other way, yeah" I told her with assurance.

She smiled at me and told me everything, why they broke up and the reason
why she is crying right now. I told her that they have the really same
problem with Mitch and she looked at me with a doubt look. I told her that
there is no difference I assure her, I even told her that she talk with
Mitch. Our conversation goes well and I figure out that she is kind and
cool, she's fun to be with, and for that, I liked her. We got to know each
other and we even had lunch with the whole group, the day is fun and we
can't talk about something that we don't laugh at. It's very enjoying, we
talk almost anything and everything under the sun, but we get serious
sometimes when we talk about studies. And the funny part of the whole story
is that we talk about our past relationship with guys. How they kissed and
even what they do when they are with their parents and how they hide it
when they kissed. We laugh and laugh until we get to the topic that are
very complicated.

" Yen, why don't you come to my condo and sleep there I don't have any
companions for tonight" Raine said

" Where is your brother?"

" He went home"

" Sure, I'll rent some Vcd's and come by around 8"

" Ok, see you tonight, bye!"

" Bye!"

I went home and told Tim that I was going to stay the night over Raine's
condo.  She said yes and I packed my clothes, then went to the video house
and rent videos entitled IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK 2 and ROCKY 5, I
hesitated to rent the first one and told myself what the hell, Raine is
bisexual and that is her secret. I smiled and said this is going to be
fun. So I went to Raine's condo and talk a bit then I told her to watch the
movies I rent.  She picked the first one over Rocky, and asks me what is
the theme and told her its about lesbians; she just smiled and opens the
computer and start it playing.  The first story is boring and we almost
fell asleep because it's about 2 women who grow old together, that's why we
don't have any interest about it. The second story is nice we look at it
and its about college students with Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny.
When we saw Chloe dressed like a man Raine and I rush toward the computer
and we laid our eyes to Chloe.

" Oh my God, she is so cute, if a woman approach me with a look like that I
will not going to have any second thought and I'll grab her right into my
arms"

" Really Yen? I never thought that you will get into that point,"

Yes Raine and I have been a friend for five years but she doesn't know that
I'm a lesbian, and she looked me in the eye almost like taking my clothes
off and want to grab me any moment now.

" Why are you looking at me like that? She just look like a man, that's
all" I reason out, I denied it once again and it kills me.

" Oh, ok!" we continue to watch and as the story goes on we felt that we
are wide awake when it comes to the sex part and we smiled to each other
with a grim on the face. After that we insert another movie and Raine fell
asleep because she can't stay awake for Rocky. I almost fell asleep and I
turned off the computer and lay beside Raine.

I want to make you hang for a moment there and turn your expectation to
something different don't worry we'll get there. Please tell me what
you think this is my email add: havenantoine@hotmail.com or
rainerotica@yahoo.com