Date: Sat, 03 May 2003 03:40:54 -0700
From: patricia cullen <labpcullen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Looking for Love: Chapter 1 Missionary work: To be true to thyself

Looking for Love

Chapter 1.  Missionary Work:  To be honest with thyself.


     Sister Cullen stood awake that night staring at the ceiling counting
the cottage-cheese lumps in the ceiling.  She was desperately trying to get
her mind to relax.  To no avail, her mind would not cooperate.  How could
she sleep with Sister Jensen next to her in the next bed, so close but so
far away?  Sister Cullen came on the mission to get away from this, why was
this feeling confronting her?  Sister Cullen just started training Sister
Jensen two days ago, and she was already starting to have feelings for her.
She couldn't help but catch fleeting glimpses as Sister Jensen put on her
dress, her nylons, she imagined those slender, legs wrapped around her.   Oh
she had to get those thoughts out of her mind.  This was of the devil.  She
needed to focus on the work.  Sister Cullen was responsible for Sister
Jensen, she was new in the mission and Sister Cullen wanted to be the best
trainer.  She wanted to share her vision of the beauty and the pure love
that goes into missionary work.  She wanted to show her the miracles that
could happen when you shared your love with another person and watch them
change and grow before her eyes.  True, Sister Jensen was waiting on her
Visa to go to another Mission to Russia, but Sister Cullen wanted to send
her in style.
      Sister Jensen was short and had short red-hair and piercing blue eyes.
  Sister Jensen was a hard worker too.  She was sexy as hell too.   Each
time Sister Cullen passed by Sister Jensen, she could feel her sexual energy
emulating from her.  That just drove Sister Cullen wild and hot with
passion.  It was forbidden passion, passion that should never be.
      She knew the missionary handbook and had it committed to memory.  The
church strictly forbade any kind of flirting, touching, or even kissing to
members of the opposite sex, let alone the same sex.  The thought of same
sex relationships was blasphemy in the site of God, and if one was caught
having a homosexual relationship, then the missionary would be sent home in
shame and would be excommunicated.   However, if the church leaders even
knew how Sister Cullen felt about Sister Jensen, then she would
automatically be sent home in shame.  It didn't matter how good missionary
she was, they had zero tolerance for these things.
    Sister Cullen started to gag at these thoughts.   She felt the anxiety
fill up her heart.  Within a few minutes, she ran to the bathroom in a cold
sweat.  The pain in her chest was crushing.  Tears filled her eyes; she
could not bear this anxiety this pain.  She tried to scream out.  No sound
came out of her mouth.  Tears however fell from her eyes.  Her heart was
crushed.  She felt the pain and the void of feeling the hollowness.  The
emptiness inside was a slap to her face and a one ton brick crushing her
heart.  Why did Sister Cullen feel this way?  Why was she having these
feelings for Sister Jensen?   Could she be homosexual?  Was she just
confused? Then she remembered Laura.


      "Good morning Class, My name is Laura Callahan, I am replacing your
old teacher Miss Shipley.  This is my first time teaching I just received my
degree at Cal Poly Long beach. I have two master's degrees. One in English
and one in Drama."
     From the time Lauren said those words, Patricia was hooked on Laura.
She was 5 2'' a deep sea blue eyes, blonde hair, a tan anyone would envy.
She had a cute round butt, and there was an elegance and grace to Laura.
She was elegant and graceful in her teaching.  Patricia and Laura from that
first day had a meeting of the minds.  True, Patricia was the student, but
Patricia could not help but stare at Laura's eyes as she lectured on
Shakespeare.  Patricia would meet Laura for lunch.  Patricia was a loner and
did not have friends, so she would go to her honor's English teacher Laura
and they would talk during the lunch half hour.  They would talk about Emily
Dickinson and the time Laura was an actress.  Patricia just listed intently
fascinated with Laura.  It was a beautiful friendship.  They really had a
connection together.  Laura was not only Patricia's only friend, but she was
a mentor in every way.  She was the nurturing woman that Patricia never had.
  There were times when they finished each others sentences and would giggle
to themselves.
    Three months later, Patricia found herself changing when she talked with
Laura.  Before class, Patricia's heart would race and beat harder, and her
palms would become sweaty.  Laura was constantly in her thoughts as if she
was tattooed on her brain.  Each time Patricia thought of Laura, she would
smile, and her heart would soften as a pillow fresh from the store.  No
matter what Patricia tried to do, Patricia could not get Laura out of her
mind.  At night, when Patricia would put on her stereo, she would hear
Secret Lover's from Atlantic Starr and fantasize about being with Laura.
    Patricia would slowly undress from her pajamas feeling her heart beat
harder and faster as each article of clothing slipped off her voluptuous
body.  Patricia would imagine Laura touching her breasts lightly as she
stroked her own breasts.  She would imagine Laura's body on top of her own.
Her breasts merging into hers as Laura kissed down her neck and her collar
bone.  Patricia would touch her stomach and pretend that Laura's hands were
moving over her navel, and then down to her womanhood.  The passion was
intensifying, as Patricia would breathe harder and sigh with pleasure.  The
waves of electricity pulsating from her head to her toes.  She wanted and
needed Laura in her arms and in her bed.  Patricia then pictured Laura going
down on her as she fingered her own clit.  Patricia imagined Laura going
down and eating Patricia's Pussy, and tasting her sweet cream that came from
her womanhood.  Patricia was building to an orgasm, and Patricia touched
harder and faster, her passion was intensifying until she exploded with
delight and her juices gushed all over her hand and her body trembled of
sheer passion.
      Never Did Patricia ever have any other fantasies about men.  Laura was
the first woman that she ever fantasized about, deep down inside, Patricia
was not even attracted to men at all.  In her heart it felt so right to be
with Laura and to be with women but her mind would not have no such thing.
The belonged to this church and it was blasphemy to even masturbate let
alone have homosexual feelings.  Patricia kept trying to put this back in
her mind, but it still kept gnawing at her being.  It took Patricia three
years to get Laura out of her mind, and that was one of the reason she went
on a mission.  To get rid of these feelings.



     Oh dang, I get to Texas and all I can think about is Sister Jensen as
Patricia thought to herself.  How am I going to go through this mission like
this? Its bad enough I have to spend 24 hours with this woman and work and
live with her.  How am I going to do this? Sister Patricia Cullen thought to
herself.   How? How? How? She could only think of one thing, work.  She
needed to work her tail off.  Work and don't think about anything and hope
Sister Jensen gets that visa soon.  Yeah she was going to really commit to
the mission, and not let her mind think about other things.  She had to lock
her heart.   If the missionaries had to lock their heart to the opposite
sex, then she had to lock her heart to the same sex.  Patricia splashed cold
water on her face in the bathroom and told herself as she looked in the
mirror.
   "Sister Cullen, you are a missionary, and you need to lock your heart.
No Further discussion okay?"
      6:30 came around too soon; Patricia just went to bed a half hour
earlier.  Today was going to be hell, with only 30 minutes of sleep and a
full day of tracting and knocking on doors.    Patricia rolled out of bed
and got immediately on her knees for Morning Prayer.  She pleaded for
strength that day, first to keep her eyes off of Sister Jensen and to keep
going today.
    "Good morning Sister Cullen. Did you sleep well?" asked Sister Jensen
     "Good morning Sister Jensen, yes I did, how about you?"
     "Very well.  I am going to jump in the shower before we start our
studying.
     Oh how Patricia wished she could join her in that shower.  Wait; there
was no room for such thoughts and desires.  Patricia had to behave herself.
Remember lock your heart.
      The day dragged on and on and it was one countless door slam after
another and by lunch time, the temperature spiked up, and it was hot and
sticky.  Patricia felt like she was about to pass out from the heat and the
exhaustion from the day.
      "Sister Jensen, I don't feel so well right now, what do you say we go
home for a little bit, and eat lunch at home and then we can come back out,
I feel like I am going to pass out. "
      "Okay Sister Cullen, I can practice my Russian and study the
language."
      "That sounds like a good idea. "
      Sister Cullen and Sister Jensen both walked in their air-conditioned
apartment.  It could have been the heat or the exhaustion but Patricia
passed out on the couch, and started crying.  She was feeling so many
emotions at once.  This love for Sister Jensen, the pressure to be a good
trainer, and the sadness that was already overcoming her with all this
stress.  She couldn't take it anymore.  Just then Sister Jensen walked over
to Sister Cullen.
     "Sister Cullen, what's going on?"
      Sister Cullen couldn't reply, just the tears kept streaming down her
face and the sobs racking her body and spinning it into convulsions. Sister
Jensen just wrapped her arms around Sister Cullen and just held her trainer
as she was sobbing.  She didn't know what to do but just hold Sister Cullen
in her arms.
    "I just want to be a good trainer and be a good missionary."  Patricia
sobbed.  It is keeping me up at night.  All this pressure and stress is
getting to me.  "I can't take it anymore."
    "Sister Cullen, I love you, you are going to be okay. You are a fabulous
missionary and I love you very much.  You have been a friend and a caring
missionary and I have learned so much from you so far. Don't doubt yourself
sweetie.  I believe you. "
    "Thank you Sister Jensen, I love you too.  Very much so.  I just get so
torn sometimes.
Patricia and Sister Jensen just stood there for a long time holding each
other as Patricia buried her face in Sister Jensen's soft shoulder.  There
breasts were touching and pressing against each other and for a minute,
Patricia thought she felt Sister Jensen's breast harden as hers hardened a
little.  They were both aroused.  They quickly broke the embrace as the
phone rang.
   "Missionaries, Sister Cullen."
    "Hi Sister Cullen This is President Mitchell's Sister Jensen got her
visa.  She is going on the next plane to Russia.  She needs to be at the
mission home in 2 hours. I know she just got there but she needs to pack up
now.  Sister Gomez will pick you up at the mission home and you will be with
her for the time being."
    "Sister Jensen, That was President Mitchell, you got your visa.  You are
on the next plane to Russia we need to be at the mission home in 2 hours."
Said Sister Cullen.
     Sister Jensen had tears in her eyes, tears of joy and happiness.  She
was going to be transferred to Russia, and go where she belonged.  But she
was going to leave her beloved trainer Sister Cullen who worked hard to
please her and help her feel welcome in Texas, and whom she was beginning to
have an attraction to.  Some things were just not meant to be.


To be continued.


Feel free to give me any comments or suggestions to where this story should
go.  Email me at labpcullen@hotmail.com