Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 22:26:16 -0000
From: A P Gilmore <apgilmore@crashnburn1.demon.co.uk>
Subject: My Teacher, My Love Part 9 (Lesbian / Adult Youth, f/F)

I entered the classroom, our eyes met briefly before we both turned away
and I headed to the back of the class to take my seat.  I took out my books
and equipment needed for the lesson, and then looked, as discreetly as
possible, at Miss Taylor.  She was reading something, probably notes for
the class.  I could not help but think about her naked, but also I saw my
teacher.  It was a weird feeling to look at someone you love and have been
intermit with, but try and ignore that and just simply see them as nothing
more than a teacher.  A person you are not meant to have any personal
attachment with.  She sometimes looked up to scan the room, check who was
at there seat, but it also seemed she wanted the chance to look at me.  Our
eyes met a few times, unable to convey much to each other, but enough to
help us through the next hour, our silent support.  She started the class
once the bell rang, and things went really well.  I was distracted by the
work assigned to us by Miss Taylor, while she was distracted by answering
student's questions and checking over peoples work as she went around the
room.  Near the end of the lesson, she approached my desk.

"How are things going Sophie?"  I passed her my book and she gave it a
brief read.  She seemed satisfied and closed the book and passed it back.

"Very good, some of your grammar needs a little revision but it looks like
very good work as normal."  She gave my shoulder a brief touch and headed
back to the front of the class.  I opened up my book to revise what I had
written so far and to see where changes could be made.  I noticed a piece
of folded paper inside the pages, I look up and make sure nobody can see
what I am doing and open it up.  It is from Amy, she must have slipped it
in when she read my work.

Sophie,

Today went well, you and I both seemed to cope well we the distance we have
to create in order to hide our feelings for each other.  I love you and
miss your touch and closeness so much.  I can't wait until tonight to be
wrapped in your arms, in our new bed.  I hope everything went well this
morning; it is nice to see you trying to finally make friends with someone.
I hope she is someone you have things in common with and that she is
someone you can build a very good friendship with.  You can tell me all
about it tonight, if you want to?

Love

Amy

Do I detect a hint of jealousy, maybe we should have another talk about
this, but now all I can see is a very sneaky woman.  I hid the note in my
backpack as I packed away my stuff.  The bell rings and again I am the last
one out.  I catch eyes with Amy and wink before leaving her, the smile that
I had produced from her, made me smile just as much and sent to my next
class very happy.  My next class went well also, I had a test that I
studied briefly for last night.  It went well I think.  Then I had a quick
break before going to Maths which is where I would see Melissa again since
this morning.  I saw her as I entered, gave her smile and a quick wave,
which she nicely returned, before taking my seat at the back as normal.  We
did not sit close enough to talk or anything, but we would try and catch
each others eye occasionally through class and give each other a friendly
smile.  Once class ended, Melissa waited for me outside.  She followed me
to the canteen so I could grab a sandwich, then we headed to her personal
grassy knoll.  We chatted about school and homework, nothing too personal,
but it was still nice to just talk to someone about stuff.  Her house was
on the same route as the one I walked.  So we agreed to meet after school
at the front gates and walk home together.  The rest of the afternoon went
well; my work distracted me from thinking about Amy.  I did see her
occasionally in the hallways between classes, but did well to ignore each
other.  It was not as hard as I thought it was going to be, and after
missing her so much yesterday, it seemed this was a very successful test
and that things should be easier once Amy moved in, and I got to be with
her every night.  As a couple we were just like any other couple, in that
we both went to work during the day, and even though we worked in the same
place, we kept the relationship as business as normal.  I am sure there are
a lot of people who do the same, so it was quite a nice feeling to be part
of something special, that very few people my age would not experience for
several more years.  I now it seems I had a friendship with Melissa, there
wasn't any confirmation that we were friends, just a feeling that we were,
maybe that is how people become friends.  They meet, find common interests,
talk and meet each other, a transition happens where you go from people you
know, to an actual friendship.

The final bell rang and I made my way towards the school gates.  Melissa
was not there just yet so I waited.  I waited about 10 minutes before she
arrived.

"I am so sorry Sophie for the delay, my teacher wanted to talk to me.  I am
very happy that you waited, and sorry if it was an inconvenience."  She was
very worried.

"Melissa, I don't mind waiting really.  I was sure you had a reason if you
didn't show; I was going to give you another 10 minutes then head home.
Have you got a mobile?"

"Yes."

"Well if we exchange numbers, we could text each other, if anything ever
comes up, or just to talk or whatever, friends do that I think if you don't
mind?"

"I don't mind at all."  She replied happily and we exchanged numbers and
then headed to our respective homes.  We talked about school again but she
was beginning to relax and we began to exchange more personal information,
likes and dislikes.  It was only a 20 minute walk, but we learned some
things about each other, we had a lot of things in common and I enjoyed
talking to Melissa immensely.  We eventually reached her house and said
goodbye to each other, including a hug.  We agreed to meet in the library
in the morning, but I suggested I just meet her at her house and walk to
school.  She agreed to meet at 7.45, but asked that I just stand outside
the gate and not to come to the door.  I respected her wishes, left and
waved her goodbye.  It was nearly 5 when I got home.  Mom and dad were not
home yet.  So I decided to get changed ready for Amy's arrival and try and
get as much homework finished as possible.  The time flew by with brief
shouts of hello from mom and dad, they usually left me alone when I was in
my room, knowing I was in my room working, but I would eventually make an
appearance to say hello properly to them.

I was so lost in getting my work finished I did not notice the door open.
It was a few minutes later I heard the slight cough alerting me to there
presence.  I turned to see Amy leaning against the doorframe.

"Busy?"

"Never for you."  And I jumped out my chair, ran to her, and then joined
our lips in a passionate kiss. Wow, if you are in love as much as I was,
you could imagine the type of kiss we had, when you have been anticipating
it for the last 24 hours.  We were breathing very heavily when we parted.

"God I missed you so much." I panted.

"Me too.  I need to sit down now."  So I guided her to the new bed.  We sat
down together, but ended up laid side by side.  My head on her shoulder,
while her arms were around mine and my hand was resting on her stomach.

"Like the bed?"

"Very nice, looks very well made, the designs on the headboard are
beautiful.  I am so relaxed and comfortable."

"I know what you mean; it is too big for one person, so I can't wait to
share it with you."

"Me neither.  So how's the homework coming?"

"Not bad, nearly finished."

"Well don't let me stop you; mom says to come down soon for dinner.  While
you finish, I will start to unpack, you can give me hand once you're
finished."

"But I don't want to move."  She laughed.

"Oh, poor baby, well it would be best to do it now, then when we have
finished and had dinner, we can get an early night."  I went straight to my
desk and went about finishing my homework, she just laid there stunned, but
then laughed at my eagerness.

"Well get a move on Amy, get your things unpacked, times a wasting."  She
laughed again, it was nice I could make her happy; she rolled off the bed
and made her way downstairs.  I would help but my homework needed to be
finished and I was sure either mom or dad would help her.

I was just finishing when dad called us down for dinner, so I finished off
and made my way downstairs.  Mom and Amy were laughing and talking, it was
nice to see them get on so well, dad was busy serving dinner.  I went to
dad and kissed him on the cheek, did the same to mom then sat down next to
Amy who leaned forward to give me a peck on the lips.

"Did you finish your homework sweetheart?"  She asked.

"Just now, thank you for asking."  I replied.

"Any problems?"

"Not really, except I have this really hard working English teacher who
really piles on the homework."

"Sounds like a battleaxe honey; maybe I should have a word with her for
you?"  Said mom.

"That sounds like a good idea mom; do you think you can help?"

"I'll see what I can do, maybe I could ground her."

"Mom, Sophie, would you two stop picking on me, I am only doing my job."
Then she pouted, big time and we all laughed.

"So how did school really go today?"  Asked mom seriously.

"Not to bad plenty to distract us from each other I think.  Actually it
just seemed like a normal school day." Amy answered.

"I agree mom, but one thing I do not understand, I thought passing notes in
class was wrong?"

"Who was passing notes?"  Amy coughed.  Mom turned to look at her, dad gave
me smile while he placed my dinner in front of me.

"Amy, were you passing notes in school?"  Dad and I were red in the face
while we tried not to laugh.  Amy was looking down at the plate, while mom,
who was the king of straight faced, was giving Amy the mother look.

"Yes mom, but I was sneaky and I am sure it was nice to receive."

"What if you caught a student passing notes, I am sure you would have
reprimanded them.  Are what about other students, if they had caught you?"
Amy was looking like she wanted to cry, I wanted to stop it then, and mom
seemed to think she had gone too far, but all I could do was laugh.  I have
never laughed so much.  Amy looked at me, a little hurt, but when mom and
dad started laughing so did she.

"I am sorry Amy, I was only teasing."  Said mom.

"Its ok mom, I am just not used to it.  My other parents, when at the
table, would normally tell me off, just because they could, about anything.
It just brought bad memories."

"I am sorry for laughing Amy, I could not help it, and I could tell you
were distressed, but remember, you learn from your mistakes, it doesn't
make it easier if people start having a go at you about it.  But that does
not happen here, we just like to tease about it.  I suppose it is something
we need to be careful about doing with you."

"No Sophie, please don't stop teasing, I want to be part of this family and
if teasing is something you do, then I want to be a part of that, I have to
learn to stop letting past experiences effect me so much.  My other parents
treated me very poorly and I will not let them control my actions any more.
Thank you mom for trying to make me feel part of the family."

"Amy, before Sally's death I used to be so worried about whatever Sally or
Sophie did.  Always trying to overprotect them, but Sally's words changed
me and it made me realise that parents can guide there children or lend an
ear to them.  But we must never make them feel bad when they make a
mistake, like falling down after climbing a tree they should not be in.
When they fall, you just have to allow them to pick themselves up, but if
they came to me crying I would help them, but I would not chastise them for
what they did, I just hope they can learn from there mistake.  So over the
last few years, Sophie has learnt to be independent and whenever she wanted
to talk I was here, but generally we just enjoyed life.  So now you are
part of the family, remember, you are an adult as is Sophie in some ways,
so you will be treated as one, so don't be afraid to have fun and tease us
if you want, this family is about enjoying life."

"Thank you mom, it means a lot to me that I am here and a part of all your
lives."  Amy said as tears streaked down her face.  Mom got out of her
chair to get Amy a Kleenex and then hugged her.

"You are more than welcome, forever.  Amy you deserve happiness and so does
Sophie, you make her happy and that makes us happy.  But as we have got to
know you, we feel really close to you as a person, and it will good to have
you here."  Now I was crying, again could we not talk without all the
crying, not that I am complaining it made me happy that we were happier
than we had ever been and now that we had finally allowed ourselves to
finally let go of Sally and move on with our lives, life would be good from
now on.

"Thank you, mom and dad and especially a big thank you to Sophie, for
loving me and allowing me into her heart and into her family.  I cherish
all of you for the gift you have given me, lots and lots of love."

"Well glad that's sorted, eat up and then we'll have pudding."  Said Dad,
who as a man seemed to be able to hold his tears, but you could see he was
very happy.

"Sophie, who was that girl you were talking to in the library this
morning."  Mom and dad both perked up at this.

"Melissa, I forgot to tell you all, I have made my first friend.  I was in
school early and decided to go to the library, and I spotted this girl that
I see around the library a lot and figured that maybe we had things in
common if we both went to the library all the time.  So we talked all day
when we could, we even walked home; we have a lot of common interests.  But
when we initially started talking to her in the library, she had a very
negative reaction towards me, I think she has some issues with maybe her
family and maybe some people have mistreated her, like Amy."  Amy nodded
that she understood.

"So is she nice, do you think she will be a good friend?"  Amy asked.

"I generally believe that we can become best friends.  She is really a nice
person; I think she needs a friend as much as I do.  I know I was asked to
find a friend as a distraction to not being with Amy, but I really want to
be Melissa's friend, I feel happy around her and am generally interested to
get to know her.  But I also feel she needs help and support to get over
whatever fears or negative feelings she has."

"So do you think we will meet her?" asked mom.

"I don't think that will be a good idea with Amy living here."  I replied.

"Sophie, I don't want you to have to worry about me, you need to have a
friendship, it is important, you can bring her and I can go out or hide in
my room."  This made be quite upset.

"Amy, please don't say that."  I could not hold back the tears, so I left
the table and went to my room.  I fell onto the bed and it was a few
minutes later before I felt the presence of Amy.

"I am sorry Sophie, I did not mean to upset you."

"Why are you apologising?"

"Because I have upset you."

"What did you do to upset me?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me what I said that has made you upset?"

"Why should I, if you don't know then what's the point."  I was a little
angry now but had not looked at her since she had entered the room.  She
sat on the bed, and then lay next to me.  She tried to hold me, but a
shrugged her off.

"Please Sophie."  Amy pleaded, it hurt to hear that in her voice, and so I
relaxed and allowed her to embrace me.  I eventually calmed down and turned
so I rested my head on her shoulder, my arm went around her waist.  "I am
so scared right now, I don't want to lose you over some little argument, we
are both stronger than that.  But you are still a child, no matter how
mature you are, running away was the wrong thing to do I think.  But I have
no experience in any of this, it is all new, the only thing that matters to
me is you, nothing else.  So when I upset you like that, I know that we
need to talk.  If we say or do something to upset the other, we have to be
able to explain why, and talk to make sure we understand better.  So when I
suggested that you spend more time with your friend, it was only in
response in the happiness you displayed when you spoke of your new friend,
because I want you to be happy, and if she does that, then she should
visit."

"But I am happier being with you."  I mumbled into her shoulder.

"And I am extremely happy with you."  Maybe I was being a little immature
about this, and that Amy was thinking more about me than herself, but she
does not realise how important she is to me, over all other people.

"Amy, how do you truly feel the last 4 days have gone, I want you to be
honest, even if you think it is not important or that it might upset me?"
She was quiet for a while, it was obviously important for her to think
about what I had asked.  I was quite comfortable and felt safe in her arms;
l slipped my hand under her dress and rested it on her stomach, gently
stroking it to offer my support.

"It feels like this is all a dream.  I have never known happiness, as I do
being with you, I love you so much.  But I am also scared.  Scared that you
don't love me as much, scared that you will find someone better than me and
break up.  What if you like your friend more than me, then what if she is
gay too or you find someone else your own age and think about leaving me.
What if either of us think about finding someone else and discovering there
better at sex.  What if we have rushed this, it has all moved so fast and
maybe I should not have moved in, maybe you will feel that I am too clingy,
that you feel pressured into being with me sexually.  What if you get bored
of me, we run out of things to talk about.  Everything just seems so unreal
and that reality will hit soon and things will just end."  By the time she
was finished we were both crying, I cannot believe how much she doubted
about me, that was what upset me earlier, that she doubted me and my love
for her.  How could we have come so far, but still fear that it was going
to end any day now?  Did we rush, will I still love her in a few months,
will I like Melissa more over time, were these my own doubts or was her
fears spreading to me.

"Amy, your life has been very difficult for you and you have had to deal
with most on your own.  I know you love and trust me, and some of your
fears are valid.  I don't know if I can make you believe me or not, whether
anything I will say or do will prove that I love you and will never leave
you.  But then again, we don't know what tomorrow brings and who knows what
will happen between us.  So I will answer your fears as simple as I can."
I lifted my head of her should and slid across so I was on top of her.  I
looked her in the eyes.  Then leaned down and kissed her with as much love
as I could.  "I love you Amy, only you, nobody has or ever will have that
effect on me.  If sex was any better I would die of a heart attack.
Melissa may have some common attributes, but she does not have my heart, it
belongs to you.  When I looked at Melissa, there was a thought, a moment
where I checked her out, but I could only compare her to you.  You are the
most beautiful woman I ever seen, if it was just that that I loved about
you then we would have a problem, but I love you because of you.  You are
caring, not just to me but everyone you come into contact with especially
your students.  Obviously you are very smart as you are a teacher, plus you
allowed me to have my way with you and allow me to love you, that was a
smart choice.  You have a strong heart, you have fought many great battles,
with only you to fight them with, you survived with no one but yourself for
support, but now you have me, whether we are together or we separate, I
will always be your friend first." she smiled "You are correct, I
overreacted by leaving the room rather than talking or explaining why you
upset me."

"Thank you for saying all of that.  We have a lot to adjust to, learning to
love each completely, learning to believe in each other to freely talk
about things and that no matter, what we are there for each other.  Maybe
running is something you do, or maybe you did overreact.  So tell me what I
said that upset you please."

"From now on, for 5 days of the week there will be a period of time where
we have to distance ourselves from each other.  But when we are in this
house together we can be who we want to be, and I can finally be close to
you, to love you.  When you suggested I bring my friend home, I told you I
did not want to because of you, but it was not the reason you thought,
because I did not want you around, that I wanted you to hide or that I am
ashamed of you, this is your home not just for me but because you have
family here.  No Amy, I don't want to bring a friend because inside this
house I only want to be with you and our parents, no one else.  I want to
be free to live my life the way I want to, and if society states that I
cannot do that outside these walls, I will certainly not bring society into
it.  This is our safe haven, for us to love and grow together without
anyone's interference, and bringing Melissa here will spoil that, only when
we can love each other freely will the time come when we can invite people
into our lives."  We were both crying again.  Every time I shared my
feelings of love with Amy, it set her off, I could see I was getting
through to her, and that made me cry.

"I am so sorry I misunderstood you like that, I just feel my insecurities
get the better of me, but my first thought when mom asked you to bring her
home, was that this was our time only.  Then I felt guilty for thinking
that way, that I could not monopolize your time like that.  As I said this
is all new to me, love is a strange emotion, but I must be stronger than
that, if I keep getting negative about things, including about myself, then
I could lose you."

"No matter what Amy, if at any time I feel less than positive about us,
then I will tell you, you have me Amy, whenever you want, you are my
Soulmate, my love forever, without you my life is nothing.  If I could I
would never go to school and just lay here in bed.  But life does not work
that way, so we do what we must to survive, but when we can have our moment
to be with each other, I want as many of them as we can, together."

"Your words mean so much, and I can tell they come from the heart.  All I
can do is try, my faith in love and you will build over time, but for now
there will be moments I will slip up, so as long as I have you to pick me
up again, I will get better.  I love you Sophie, you mean more to me than
anything, I am happy we kissed that night, either of us could have stopped
it, but we didn't and I am thankful I was strong enough to not only return
the kiss but to believe that it was real and true.  We have discovered a
lot over the last few days, not only about each other, but about love and
family and one day we will have our own family and teach them all we can to
make life easier."

"You want a family with me?"  Now I was shocked, tears of extreme happiness
were falling from my eyes.  Amy smiled as she wiped the tears away.  Then
she pulled me down for another kiss.

"Yes, more than anything.  One of the things I thought about when I was
younger, is that I meet someone special, fall in love and start a family.
But then I discovered I was gay.  When I knew I was in love with Claire
part of me wondered if it was possible to have a family if we were both
female, I understood how the whole 'where babies come from' thing, but not
about sperm banks and such things.  So I thought that if we loved each
other enough, maybe love and magic could make it happen.  Pretty stupid
idea at the time."

"I don't think it is stupid to believe in love, what you just said is very
beautiful.  It gives hope to me that you believe in us enough to think
about marriage and a family; I know you love me and that together we have
something special.  And even if we can't guarantee that we will be together
forever, we have enough love to hope and believe it."

"So do you want to have children?"

"Well before you mentioned it, the thought had not occurred to me.  Now the
idea is very positive to me, I feel that obviously we would wait several
years and probably you should be the one to have the child before I did.
But I would love to have your baby as I would want you to have mine.  We
can look into the how later, but I do want children and only with you."

"I am grateful you are keen on the idea and of course there will be time in
the future to discuss it further, but just knowing that you love me enough
to even think about it, allows me further proof that you love me a lot.  So
my confidence in what we have has been given a well needed boost."

"Well maybe we should go downstairs now and let mom and dad know that
things are ok now and to explain my quick exit."

"That seems like a good idea, but maybe afterwards we can return here and
maybe we can discuss the sleeping arrangements, mainly I think we need to
plan our nights."

"Whatever you want to talk about, we will talk, together."  I kissed her
again but kept it chaste so at least we could go downstairs at least for a
few minutes.  We got up and walked hand in hand out of our room and
downstairs, together.