Date: Tue, 4 Jul 2006 05:04:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: a a <aqua822005@yahoo.com>
Subject: First

I have never had any lesbian experiences. It was something I would think
about once in a while, lesbian erotica, but not take seriously enough to be
a preference. So after everything that has happened, it somewhat surprises
me and makes me see a different side of my self.

I was twenty-four, newly relocated after being hired as a designer for a
publishing company. I was so excited over getting this job as it was in an
industry I wanted to pursue myself in a few years, by then as a writer. My
department was quite small enough for us to be very friendly with each
other. Work was work, but during break times and off office hours, it was
easy hanging out and after a few weeks on the job, I have gotten pretty
close to some.

One Saturday night, P, my colleague, called me up and invited me to a
drinking party his ex S was throwing. I was amused that this thirty-year
old man wanted was still in need of a security blanket. Just to make sure I
do not make a fool of myself, he half-joked. I did not have anything
planned for the night and agreed. Wear your most smashing outfit, he
kidded, a few of eligible bachelors there.

We arrived at S's house around nine. Her friends welcomed us warmly. After
a few minutes of casual talk, everyone was joking with me as if I have been
a long time friend of the group's, which was fine by me because it was a
fun group to be with.  A couple of drinks and dances later, the doorbell
rang and S went to answer. As J and I returned after a crazy rendition of a
tango, laughing hysterically all throughout, we sank into the sofa--and then
my eyes met the confrontational stare of a shockingly red-haired beauty.

My laugh grew silent and my neck tensed up. For a fraction of a moment, a
piercing quietness suddenly descended, at least in my head. Then I caught
myself staring back and half mumbled an introduction and extended my hand.
She smiled, "I'm M," and accepted as if nothing happened. I wondered, was
the staring part tricks my imagination? Anyway, I tried to act cool as she
was introduced to the rest, a friend of S's from work, even if my head was
going mildly haywire.

During the course of the night, I would catch her stealing glances --
actually, I was not even sure if they were stealing glances or just
coincidental looking, but regardless, it astonished me that it made me feel
a bit giddy and made my cat do small claps of excitement. Admittedly, I was
confused as well why she had that effect on me. I would sometimes smile
back and she would nod and turn back to the person she was in conversation
with. Very slim, elegant woman, with intense eyes, and that fiery hair.
Whenever she would cross the room to get drinks or change the music being
played, her slender frame so graceful and limber, under that fit sweater
and jeans, my eyes were addicted, stealing whatever peeks she and the
others I hoped went unnoticed. When she laughed or just talked, my ears
would zero in on her voice despite the noise in the room. One time J's hand
playfully lingered on my knee and everyone was teasing him about copping a
feel and we all laughed, she casually looked at me, as if trying to read
me, then meeting my eyes, she would smile. It was so odd. My heart pounded
every time our eyes would meet and this was caused by a person I hardly
knew and barely talked with the whole night.

Rounds of beer later, people were one by one leaving as it was getting
pretty late. Soon, it was just the three of us left, me with M and J. "I'll
go check if P's ready to head home now," I mumbled. I found P and S slow
dancing in the next room and decided to give P a couple more minutes--they
were surprisingly sweet to each other the whole night. I headed for the
bathroom to freshen up. My face was close to zombie-like. It has been a
while since I partied until three in the morning. When I got back, M and J
were seated on the sofa. An empty space beside M. She motioned for me to
sit beside her and I did. Seated so close to her, I could smell her perfume
and closed my eyes to just enjoy her smell and the warmth of her body.

"So I guess P has other plans to cap off the night. I can take you home if
you want, I'm dropping off J anyway," she said softly. I opened my eyes and
looked at her, how long have I been asleep? Then I saw her face, rolled to
its side, barely three inches away from mine.  I just looked at her,
dumbfounded by her aura. She was asking something, but it was not
registering. I do not know what came over me--the intimacy of the dimly-lit
room or the soft music or the beer or her eyes, I just closed my eyes
again, leaned over the three inches and kissed her softly on the lips.

Five seconds later, I pulled back, the shock of what I just did hitting me.
Instantly, I was awake as if someone doused me with ice cold water. After
mumbling a hasty `Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry', I stood up,
grabbed my coat and went outside. I really didn't know what to do. I went
for a walk. I was embarrassed. Freaked out if P found out (and told in the
office!). Hell, freaked out I kissed a woman! I was self-hating at the same
time smiling. I cannot believe I just did that, I laughed. Two blocks
later, I decided this craziness must end and started to head back.

M and J were standing by the door as I approached. "Hey, you. We're heading
home. I told P I'm bringing you home and gee, he didn't really put up a
fight," laughed M. "Come on, he gave me your address already." Great,
thanks a lot, P. Well, at least the drive home will be uneventful as
possible having J with us, I thought.  "And you're riding shotgun, J's
place is up first," she added.  Okay, I mumbled and flashed her a smile.
Act normal, I nagged myself.

On the way to (the really smashed) J's place, we got into talking about her
job, apparently, she was on a temporary gig now, doing consumer research
for a company, how we both missed our family and friends. Then conversation
pretty much died and we drove in silence. After dropping J off, we were on
our way to my place which was around twenty minutes away.

The silence in the car was far more difficult than a while ago. More tense.
I was so aware of her hand handling the stick, shifting gears. She would
occasionally look at me and ask if I was sleepy and to just go ahead and
sleep if I were. No, no, I'm up, I said, and thanked her again for giving
me the ride home. Then silence.  I'd clear my throat occasionally. She'd
hum really softly a bit. Then silence. She tried to break the ice and
talked about S and P for a while, she mentioned being surprised by S's warm
personality as she was all business-like in the office. "But I'm glad to
have met her friends," she added and smiled at me. We then talked about
other things we were interested in--food, movies, traveling. It was pretty
good, she was very interesting to talk to. Talking about anything except
what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to apologize for the kiss actually,
but did not know how to bring it up. "Um, listen, M... hmm, about the
kiss...umm," my voice trailed off in discomfort. Suddenly, she swerved to the
side of the road and put her hazards lights on, then turned to me., her
hands on her lap "I know you're not gay, don't worry. Neither am I. I was
just a surprised over my, well, let's say, fixation over you the whole
night. It was weird but it felt good, so we can just leave it at that." The
way she was looking at me, filled with such seriousness, I wanted to give
her a kiss, just to shock her. I was not THAT disturbed over it, more of
I'm disturbed for her sake. I laughed a bit.

"What? Why're you laughing?" and I told her why.

"Oh, okay," she grinned sheepishly, "I was trying to comfort you the best I
could. Don't worry, it's not a biggie for me either. Well, in any case,
even if I were interested in you, I don't think I can take being a
lesbian," she shrugged. "Okay, friends?" And we shook hands.

"This is me," I said as we rolled along the front of my building. We sat
inside the car for a while. It might sound strange, but despite what we
just talked about, if she were a man, I would have been totally dying to
ask him up.  She looked like she was in no hurry to leave either. We stared
at each other from the opposite sides of the car, leaning on the door.
Seeing the futility of the situation, I leaned in for a hug, "Well, it was
nice meeting you," I said and stepped out of the car.

As I closed the door, she came dashing out and came to my side. "Wait,
wait..." she said. It was almost light outside, yet the streets were still
empty. We stood there silent for a while. Looking everywhere but at each
other.  Here we were standing on a dead sidewalk, streetlamps were still on
and leaves gently blew past us--stop it! Stop looking too hard for signs!
Stop being a drama sucker and say goodbye, I scolded myself.

The silence went on too long. Confused as I was to say goodbye, I knew I
could. Then it hit me: if this was goodbye, I might as well make the most
of this craziness (and get it out of my system). I spun her to face me and
kissed her squarely on the mouth. Her cry of surprise melted into sighs.
Her soft lips, so soft and so hungry. I felt she too just wanted to make
the most out of this moment. Her tense body softened and felt it press
against mine urgently. Our tongues intertwined, danced and sparred. She was
delicious. Her tongue was delicious. She kissed my jawline, I kissed her
eyes. My body began to throb and I was close to euphoric. We embraced so
tightly there was no air between us. As we ended our hungry kiss, I felt
her warm breath, her slow exhale against my face, then she sighed. We
opened our eyes, glazed, and smiled. "Friends?" she laughed softly. "What
now?"

"I don't know, I don't know," I kept muttering because I really didn't, but
I suppose the silly grin on my face said otherwise. We were then standing
side by side, enough distance between us.  "Come up with me?" Without a
word, her hand crept to mine, shyly. I felt electricity as her slender
fingers slid against mine, intertwining. I felt my smile widen to Joker
proportions. I was giddy at the same time nervous. I had nothing to offer
her expectations, as I was just as new to this as she was.

We went in and as we stood waiting for the elevators, I looked at her and
her eyes were boring into me. I wanted to kiss her, but I was in my
building, with the night guard just a few meters away; I contented myself
with just looking back.

She stood slightly behind me in the elevator, to my left. As the elevator
went up, I felt her right hand slowly climbing up, from my left hip to my
waist. I leaned towards her and we stayed like that for a few seconds. I
felt lust for her, but more so, I felt comfortable warmth.

The doors opened six floors below mine, and an old woman stepped in. We
both snapped out of our haze and stood at attention. "Good morning Mrs. L,"
I greeted stiffly. The old woman smiled back, "Hello, just going up to
catch some fresh air by the deck." M was slowly withdrawing her hand to put
some distance between us, but my right hand caught it, she tried to pull
back, but I held on to it. M gave up, we rode the remaining floors with our
hands laced behind me.

As we got off my floor and walked to my unit, she hesitated. "Hey, listen...
all this was fun but this is something different now. Can we agree if
something's off, we can just stop and just talk and be friends?" Of course,
I assured her, a bit relieved she was as nervous as I was.

As we walked inside, she gave me the Look. Of Lust I presume. We sat by the
sofa, facing each other, just as we did early that evening. "You want
something to drink?" I asked. No, she answered a bit breathless with a hint
of smile. I picked up her hand, and held it to my face. I could smell her
perfume, something I would use myself, musky fragrance. I kissed each
fingertip; then the palm, once, twice, three times, then placed her hand a
bit above the center of my chest. I got her other hand, kissed the
fingertips and held it above her other rested hand. All the while, she just
watched, as if letting me enjoying the tribute I was giving her hands. She
lifted herself and sat down in front of me, straddling on my lap. She
leaned in for a soft kiss. Kissing a woman is definitely so unlike kissing
a man. The pacing, slow, rhythmic, patient, but hungry.  Which intensified
as her tongue entered my mouth. Darting in and out. Sucking my
lips. Darting in and out. I was almost livid. Her hands were in my hair. My
hands were under her sweater, rubbing her back. "Do you know you're so
beautiful?" she asked. She gathered my hair, which was by now a mess, then
she paused. "Let's dance." I turned on the player for some fitting music.

We danced slowly and so closely. We were in a tight embrace, eyes closed,
and swayed to the smooth jazz playing. A few seconds into the song, she
stirred and kissed my neck. "No kissing on the lips," I said with a
smile. She smiled back wickedly. My hands went back under her sweater,
massaging her back up and down. She had a very lean back, I felt the smooth
but firm muscles, sliding as she moved. Her hands roamed my behind, nicely
curved by my skirt. I ran the tip of my tongue down the side of her neck,
from below her earlobe down to between her clavicles, marveling at the
graceful hollowness at the center. I licked, she gasped.

She ran her nose over my tilted face, breathing me in, and liking what she
smelt as she mumbled in soothing tones. She then pushed her knee between my
thighs. The cat was throbbing and I rubbed myself against her thigh. I
heard my shameless moan and sighs, but when I opened my eyes, I saw her
tilted face, looking up in the same ecstatic expression with her mouth
slightly open. As I ground on her leg, we lifted her sweater and off it
went. She had average sized breasts, a bit bigger than mine, with the
nipples fully erect against the brassiere. My tongue continued its
journey. From her clavicle, it went down to her cleavage then to her right
breast. To be honest, after a few seconds of sucking, I realized it wasn't
my thing (although I think she enjoyed it) and so with my tongue back to
her neck, my left hand wandered over the front of her pants and rubbed up
and down. She went berzerk here and slammed me against the wall.

"We're not dancing to the rhythm," I pointed out. M's flushed face broke
into a smirk. She was so beautiful.  Flawless pale skin, flush red lips and
cheeks, as red as her hair. She covered my lips with a wild kiss, as if
sucking the blood out of it. Our breasts were squished together. I felt her
stomach rub against mine up and down. Her pubic bone gnashing against mine.
My hand went up and down faster against her crotch as she pumped herself
against my body. She held my hand over her crotch as she moaned with
pleasure, "Stay there, stay there," she guided and whispered my name over
and over.  Unable to take it anymore, she dragged me back to the sofa,
removed her pants and panty. Fully nude on my sofa, with legs partly apart
she was more beautiful than I thought, so picturesque with her wavy red
hair framing her face and a flame of red marking a sweet spot. "Come,
baby," she invited, with an outstretched arm.

I kneeled in front of her and kissed her belly. Very trim figure. As I
kissed her, her hand caressed my hair. "Down there, please," she gasped
after a few seconds. I knew how much she wanted it by the way her body
rhythmically arched. My tongue lined the insides of her thighs to her
pained delight. Then her legs moved to rest on top of my shoulders. My head
was buried in her crotch. "Now," she panted. I lowered my head, until in
slow motion, my lips met hers. It throbbed. Granted it was my first time to
face this kind of lips, I was nervous as to what to do. I covered the big
lips with kisses. She chuckled in approval. Then to the thinner lips. She
smelled of arousal. "Now," she reminded me.

"Shhhh..." I replied, to her exasperation. I kissed the big lips once more,
and could see her opening wiggling in anticipation. With a big wet tongue,
I ran it all across her clit. M gasped. Sensing she liked it, I swept my
tongue back and forth, and in circles. Pointing my tongue sharp and hard, I
quickly thrusted it inside of her, to her surprise.  She moaned as my
tongue darted in and out. She was shaking with pleasure. "Baby, baby, now,
now, mmm..." she moaned. She was near cumming. I darted my tongue in and
out of her quicker, but this time a bit curled to the top., while my thumbs
massaged each side of her throbbing lips She squeezed my hands tightly as
she bucked wildly against my face. I rolled my tongue over and over her
clit. Sweat lined her legs and crotch. Full force, I ravaged her with my
tongue and mouth, as deep as I could, as hard as I could. She was shaking,
shaking until, boom, she exploded. Her high pitched cries melted into
sighs.

I gave her one last kiss, then started back up. Kissing her stomach, her
collarbone, her neck, then finally up to her mouth. We kissed for a long
time, her legs curled behind me, locking me close to her. "Your turn,
baby," she smiled as she tried to lift my tube top. I could see she was
exhausted. Happy but exhausted. We both were. My mouth possessed hers,
savoring her taste. "Later, let's rest for a while." She scooted to make
room for me. As I closed my eyes, I felt her body behind me shift to a
position then relax. I liked spooning ?. I felt at peace with what just
happened. It felt so natural and at home, to have this beautiful naked
woman lying so close to me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, with her
arm and leg over me in a protective embrace, possessively, and caressing
the side of my face. She took my hand and kissed the palm, long and
tender. "Goodnight, baby," she whispered. Sleep came in no time, only to be
woken up later that afternoon were butterfly kisses on my back.