Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2014 14:00:01 -0500 (EST)
From: Roxanne144295@aol.com
Subject: I Thought my life was over Part one

I am fifty five and alone, very single and very  sad. Until recently I had
sentenced myself to dying alone.
Let me explain. I spent thirty lonely years in a marriage that was a sham
on my part.
    In college I had an encounter with a woman that  scarred me for life.
She was lovely and innocent and so loving but I was cut  from a different
cloth. My parents would commit Hari Kari if they knew I had a  lesbian
relationship.
    Now here I am mid-fifties and alone, my husband  recently died of a
heart attack. I have had male friends come over and make a  play for me but
have rebuffed them .Quite frankly the last thing I  desire is another sham
marriage.
    When I find myself alone and have a glass of French  wine in front of
me, my mind wanders and I can only find arousal in the female  form. I find
myself lamenting the years when I was young and vibrant and could  have
pursued young women and had a few lesbian encounters.
    Not a day passes that I do not find myself in a  store or on the street
admiring a woman's body and quite frankly finding myself  turned on.The
female anatomy is so special and inviting, I am sad to realize I  missed out on
a totally different life.
    I recently moved to a rural mountain community, to  flee my ties to the
neighborhood I lived in for so many years. Perhaps in the  darkest reaches
of my mind I wanted to free myself from anyone who knew me and  start a new
life.
    If I had thought it through rationally, I would  have chosen and urban
environment where a late middle aged woman would have a  chance of meeting a
woman circa her own age.Not me, I fled the past life, the  sham marriage
and since my parents had recently died, I fled all that was  familiar or
influential.
    The first three months were invigorating to say the  least. I had to
learn to live with inconveniences and fend for myself. I learned  that a wood
stove s your best friend and the fire needs to be tended regularly.  I
leaned to put necessities above vanity .Staying warm is much more important  than
putting on your face.
Inevitably Spring came and the trees budded and life was better, the sun
shone and women began to shed their winter entrapments.
    Like all things in the spring, I found my heart  hopeful and jubilant.
The women had on thinner clothing showing off their  figures and the days
became longer and warmer.Soon woman were down to shorts and  tops, leaving
less and less to the imagination.
    I found my nights full of dreams and visions I had  passed in the
streets that day, Full of young women with firm breast, standing  tall and proud
and of long legs promising heaven as they rose from the ground to  their
short pants that hid paradise.
    I know I must sound like a sex starved pervert but  bear in mind I
spent thirty years denying my passion, I am just coming out of my  shell .I feel
I have many years of denial to atone for.
    Then it happened, much to my surprise and  amazement, I was just being
me and this lovely woman maybe five years younger  was standing by me at a
mountain crafts sale and she spoke to me.
    At first I was oblivious to her words as I looked  her over, she was
tall, five nine maybe and blonde, well originally and now  enhanced but blonde
none the less.She was full bodied, yet lean in her own way,  she had
obviously had kids and was still very attractive despite her years as a  mom.
    I had to focus, she was chatting on at me and I was  not listening, I
had to regain my sanity for a moment to catch up with the  conversation.
    "Don't you think these wind chimes are just  divine?" She fingered the
chimes making them tinkle.
    "They are very nice, do you have a place in mind to  put them?"
    She smiled then, a very impressive smile that made  her face a
portrait. I melted at her ease and beauty.
        "I do have a nice cabin  nearby and I think they would sound lovely
waking me on a crisp mountain  morning."
    Ok, now she was not only beautiful but poetic and  eloquent, be still
my heart.
    "A cabin, do you live here or is it a summer home?"  I was aware that
many people were transitory and I was curious.
    "Oh I am here for at least a year, you see I had a  loss in the family
and need to just get away and unwind."
    "Oh, I live nearby and am just getting started  again in life, perhaps
we should have coffee sometime?"
    Subconsciously  I just tossed it out there,  half in search of a friend
and half trying not to lose this moment.
    "You know that would be nice, I have not met many  of my neighbors and
I would like to, how about Saturday morning, I like to get  up early and do
the garage sale circuit, would you like to stop and grab a cup  at Star
bucks and chase some bargains?"
    "It sounds like a date!" Damn, poor choice of  words, I was too forward.
    "I am Marla,"She held out her hand and offered it  to me.
    I shook it gently feeling how soft and tender her  hand was, I was
beyond friendship in my mind, I was lusting after her
    "Great, she held my hand for a few beats too long  and added, tell me
how to find your place and I will pick you up, say six forty  five?";