Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:09:34 -0500
From: Ren?e-Naomi X <shadow_angel223@hotmail.com>
Subject: My love for music

  Hi, my name is Dani with one `N'. I'm 5 ft 7 half Latina and Caucasian.
I've got hazel eyes (my best asset) and dark long black hair which is
curly. It annoys me like hell, and I want to chop it off but when it comes
to the crunch I freak out and run away. I've always had a tendency of not
going through with stuff. Just like college, I couldn't cope so I dropped
out after the first two months. Now I'm broke and I saw this ad about being
a cleaner kind of thing and you get accommodation and stuff so I applied
and today I'm going for an interview. I grabbed my bag and drove my hoopty
to the location. I looked up at the house and my first thought was damn. I
flattened my pleated skirt and checked out my hair which was in its usual
state. I skipped to the front step and pressed the gold bell.  The door
opened and I was greeted by an angel I swear, I just like froze for a
second then pulled myself together. She had dark brown eyes and she looked
mix race. Her hair was light brown and was somewhat frizzy at the end. Her
lips where full and pink and looked totally kissable (if I was a guy that
is) She was different form the regular mix race girls I'd seen who piled on
the make up, she looked all natural. In the whole of Cali I swear I haven't
seen someone as cute as she was. She looked mid-twenties and she was finer
than me and I was nineteen. She ushered me inside and began to speak.
  "Okay I'm going to be interviewing you and It's going to brief and then
I'll tell you whether I like you or not," she stated. What a bitch! The
whole angel image crumbled as she spoke who was she I bet she wasn't even
the boss. She was too young to be the boss. If I didn't want the job so
damn bad I would have given her a piece of my mind. "Do you have any
criminal history or record?" she asked me with her arms folded across her
chest as she leaned against the stair banister.
   "No I do not," I told her having trouble keeping the anger from showing.
    "Good," she replied.
   "Do you drink, smoke, can you cook and clean?" she asked me giving me a
challenging glare. Before I knew what I was doing I gave it back and I
immediately saw the job go down the drain but whatever.
   "No I do not drink, I'm nineteen like it said on my application form, I
do not smoke it is a dirty habit, cook most definitely I can and I was born
cleaning so I don't think that should be a problem," I replied.
  "Good you're hired you can start straight away, I'll give you a brief
tour," she said to me. I was definitely taken back by her swiftness and
most especially how fast I'd got the job.
  "Aren't you going to interview anyone else?" I asked.
  "Do want the job or not if not please do not waste my time," she
sighed. Now I was sure she was the devil incarnated she was mean as ever.
  "Yeah I want it but how much does it pay?" I asked
 "$800 a week," she stated and I was like damn. That was the best I'd ever
been offered in like forever. I was immediately ready to put my hate away
from this bitch and get on with the real shit. Plus I hadn't even met my
real boss yet.
  "Damn! Hell yeah I want this job," I smiled.  "Well Dani Rodriquez you
are hired now come on," she said in the nicest voice I'd heard her say
since I walked into the door, though it was as soon as gone when she began
to give me a tour of the house.  There were about 7 bedrooms in the place
then there were rooms that I wasn't allowed in, then the master bedroom was
hell of big. Then kitchen, don't even get me started and then there were
loads of other rooms. I she told me were all the stuff was then left,
shortly after she came in with groceries and set them up in the fridge.
She just loafed around the house doing nothing; she had me guessing for
hours what her exact job was before she left. I worked for hours till she
came in and told me to go make diner.
    "How does the boss like it," I asked.
   "She likes pasta," she simply said in a demeaning voice and left to the
top, top floors and that was the last straw for me. Who the fuck did this
girl think she was? I walked after her and saw her rummaging through stuff.
  "I don't know who you are but fuck you get me angry, and when I finally
get to meet the person paying me I'm going to tell her how mean you were to
me," I half yelled at her. I sounded pretty lame but I thought whatever as
long as she knows.
  "So you want to talk to the owner of this place and the person signing
you're pay slip right?" she said raising her eyebrow.
 "Most definitely chicka," I said doing what I usually did when I was angry
which was mixing my words with Spanish.
  "Well go on then, I'm listening," she said standing tall. My mouth about
hit the floor, she was my boss.  No fucking way, my anger dissolved into
surprise, humiliation then finally total sadness mixed with humiliation. I
rushed down the stairs holding back my tears. She was probably going to
fire me and on my first day. That was like a new record for me.  I rushed
into the kitchen to get my bag and walked to the landing where she stood on
the stairs.
   "Where are you going?" she asked. Her arms where still folded across her
chest.
  "I--"was all I could say. I felt like such and idiot.  "Is the pasta
done because I can feel myself getting hungry soon," she said to me with a
slight smile. I felt relief wash over me. Did that mean I wasn't fired? I
hope it did. I couldn't help but smile full on and rush to the kitchen.


  I had to catch my breath when she smiled because she was hot like
wow. When she got mad at me and her eyes flared and she had a slight pout
that was the truest and she was just so hot. I wonder how long it would get
me to get in her pants. The way she looked at me when I opened the door I
think she was feeling me. She seems straight though big damn. When I saw
her picture on that application form I knew she was definitely it. I walked
in and I was hit by a beautiful smell. She set only one plate which I was
guessing for me.
  "There you go boss lady," she said looking at her watch.  "And I'm off
the clock till seven that should give me enough time," she said to her self
as she grabbed her bag from the side.
   "Whoa were are you going?" I asked surprising myself.
 "To see my boyfriend," she smiled. Touching her hair, damn I thought to
myself.
 "Well you're forgetting something," I said leaning forward towards her. I
don't know what came over me for a second there I was going to kiss her
before I gathered myself moving my head passed her to get the keys to the
house and give it to her. "Get you're stuff while you're out too," I said
handing her the keys before sitting down to eat.  A burst flavour hit my
mouth as I took a bite of it with the sauce I didn't know what it was but
it was heck good. "mmm, this is good," I said to myself.
   "I know," she giggled before rushing out. I didn't even know she was
there. Now I wanted to get with that no doubt. She was cute, funny and
hella fine when she was angry. I had to call my mom.
 The phone rang three times then I dropped it. I wasn't known for my
patience during phone call and my mom knew that. Music I thought to
myself. I rushed upstairs to the locked room where my seriously mini studio
was. I put on one of my tracks and started blazing through the mic. A
familiar feeling took over my body as my ears became sensitive to every
beat of the drum the snare and the thumb of the bass and all other
instruments playing. I was in love with music.


  "So did you get the job miha?" my boy friend Miguel asked me. I smiled at
him and nodded. He bent down and kissed me. It was nice but never a turn on
or as nice as I thought it could be but I stayed with him because I always
had this need to be loved. I believed Miguel loved me. "Well I'll get us a
drink, what do you want?" he asked. My boyfriend was what girls would
describe as really hot and he was but I just never had a deep attraction
for him the way he did me.
  "A soda please," I replied smiling at him.
  "When are you going to let me but you tequila huh?" he asked. He's been
trying to get me to take one since forever, but I think it's just because
he wanted me to put out.
  "When I'm 21," I laughed. He sighed and went over to the bar.
  "Look girl you need to ditch that bitch," his friend Tyrone said to me
from the corner.
  "What? Why?" I asked taken back by what he had just said.
  "Look for yourself," he whispered, showing me his phone screen. I saw my
boyfriend fucking another girl who was clawing at his back, I wanted to be
sick. I didn't know what to feel or what to do so I did what any raging
Latina would do. I walked over to as he passed me my soda and I dumped it
on him.
  "You are so wrong, you are a trifling son of a bitch," I growled at him,
before storming out. I went straight home and before I knew I felt tears
streaming down my face. I thought he loved me, how stupid was I, well good
riddance to bad shit. I wasn't even looking as I waltzed in and I saw
Chloe, which was supposed to be the name of my boss so I guessed that was
her name.  I fell to the ground and just stayed there and cried, I'd
humiliated myself too many times today to really care. She touched me but I
shrugged her off and went to work in the kitchen. I did not want to be
comforted it would only make it worse.
   "You okay," I heard her say at the door. I quickly wiped my tears and
turned to her and try to put on a brave smile.
  "Yea why wouldn't I be?" I rhetorically asked before turning around to
carry on. I was such a fucking wuss.


 I am not gonna lie I am glad that she and her man are over, but I don't
like the way she is and the look in her eyes the confusion and pain. See I
don't understand why I give a fuck in the first place, but she had the
cutest smile ever so how am I suppose to let that pass the simple answer
is, I cant.
     "Okay drop the dishes and shit and go get dressed we are hitting the
clubs," I announced walking into the kitchen. She gave me a very unsure
look. "Hey, hey you're still getting paid girl so stop tripping and run
along and get some clothes on. "Miss Chloe--"
   "It's just Chloe baby," I interrupted. Her eyes were warm and I noticed
she like being called pet names.
  "Well Chloe I can't go out with you tonight, I'm hurting and I--"
 "No excuses honey get dressed lets go take you're mind of the hurt," I
interrupted again. "You're still getting paid," I added grinning. She
smiled back and rushed upstairs to get dressed. I went to go get dressed
too. I was dressed within an hour and a half but she still wasn't ready.
"Girl what's taking you so long," yelled up the stairs.
   "Ten more minuets," she yelled back. I knew that meant thirty more
minuets in girl code. I forgot to mention I am one impatient mother fucker
so I rushed up the stair and burst into her room. She looked P.H.A.T she
was a dime plus 299 I swear she took my breath away. She wore tight fitting
denim jeans which showed off her ass and a casual pink top which dipped
showing some cleavage. She wore just a little bit of make up on the eyes
and her hair was long and curly.
  "I'm done, you like," she said twirling around. She put on her boots and
we left in my car. I couldn't help watching her every move and taking in
the beautiful view.  Words could not express how fine she was looking. We
hopped out at the spot and I skipped the long queue because I was special
like that. We walked in and I was ambushed by a crowd.
   "Clo where the hell have you been?" my friend Jimmy squealed grabbing my
hand which was holding on to Dani's hand. We went to sit down at a table at
the top stairs. I looked over at Dani who seemed to be overwhelmed by all
the attention. "So are you going to introduce me to the new one?" Jimmy
said smiling and it took so much to not to smack the bitch over his head.
  "Jimmy this is Dani, she works for me and that's all," I told him warning
him with my eyes which he seemed to heed.
   "I am going to get a drink," Dani exclaimed rushing off to the bar.
  "She is hot!!" Jimmy gasped.
  "I know but she is straight and she doesn't know about me so let her not
find out," I warned him.  I watched as she walked over to the bar, then my
heart stopped as I saw Dana walk over to her. "Jimmy she's here oh my god,"
I gasped as I rushed down to the bar to where Dani was.
   "Chloe baby you're here, wow," Dana exclaimed. Fake!!! My head screamed
but I kept my cool. I took Dani's hand protectively surprising myself.  "Is
She--"
   "A friend yes, she works for me, What do you want?" I growled. She
reached to touch me and Dani slapped her hand away. That surprised the hell
out of me but it saved me from doing it.
   "The hoe did what?" Dana exclaimed, giving Dani a dirty look.
   "No disrespect ma, but she don't like you, you can tell by the look on
her face so go away, or should I say it in a clearer language you
understand fuck off," Dani growled her I couldn't resist a grin loved this
girls attitude it was too stinking hot. Dana left like the wind blew
threw. I knew then that I had to tell her.
  "Look there's something I feel you should know about me--"
 "Its cool I know already, I figured out that was a crazy ex girlfriend
from the way she looked at you," Dani said smiling sipping her soda and
that was that. We had a good time but the next time I planned on bringing
her hear was when and if we ever hooked up. One thing was for sure, I
planned on making her mine.

The weeks went by and I felt her distancing from me and I believed it was
from the revelation of my sexuality I kept guessing, however when she spoke
to me she wasn't bitter or cold she just seemed sad and I couldn't put my
finger on why. I tried nearly everything to make her smile and it worked
sometime, I saw a heart warming smile. She was everything I wanted but
couldn't have and words can not express how frustrating that it.


I think I liked it better when she was a bitch to me, because then the
feeling of anger and hate was known to me. However the feeling I was
feeling at this point was like a foreign language I couldn't make out what
it was. Her eyes the way they followed me round and lit up when she
smiled. Small insignificant touches felt like much more it was crazy. It
was upsetting me and disturbing my ol Latina flow and the only person that
I felt could get me back on track was my mother. I drove into Compton to
where my mom and dad lived. My dad was probably going to be at work so I
had my mother all to myself. I climbed up the nasty smelling stairs and the
groggy hallway which I didn't miss. I knocked on the begging my mother to
be home. She opened the door and her eyes lit up and she pulled me into a
warm embrace and I melted into her arms.
   "Why haven't you come to see us sooner, is your new boss working you too
hard," She whispered as she hugged me. This was one thing I did miss.  "So
what problem brings my little girl home," my mother asked walking into her
small kitchen.
  "Momma I don't know, I'm just so confused right now. My boss, Chloe,
she's great she makes me smile she is funny, smart and sweet and seems to
genuinely care about me," I explained to my mother. She was listening
intently by now and her eyes urged me to continue. "She...She is
everything...I...I look for in a man momma and I know its wrong to think
and feel that way but..."  I began to bubble then I felt my mothers
reassuring touch on my shoulder.
  "Honey I thought I taught you better than that," she began. I felt the
tears well up in my eyes. I was a disappointment to my mother and she was
going to rebuke me and disown me. This is not what I wanted. "I thought
you're father and I had done enough to show you," my tears where now
running freely from my eyes. "That love is never wrong," my mom said in a
soothing voice wiping my tears and my worries away. She pulled me into a
hug that made me feel like I was a little girl again. "Got get her miha, go
do what make you happy knowing that I love you because I am you're mother
and that is what mothers are for," my mom said in my ear. I drove home
feeling like a terrible weight had been lifted off my shoulders. "Go get
her," my mother had said. One thing hit my mind almost immediately, but
what if she doesn't want me, I'm not rich I have nothing to offer. Just
because she's gay doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be with me. I felt
like running back to my mother but I knew that this was one problem I would
have to sort out on my own. I entered the house and saw Chloe was on the
phone, she mouthed something to me but I was in my own little world I
didn't even notice. I sought of drifted up the stairs and into my room, in
a daze. She was my boss I could not and would not hit on her. I had too
much to loose. My Job for one and another was her friendship. Why did shit
like this have to be so complicated? While deep in thought I didn't notice
Chloe leaning in the door frame.  I was so frustrated I grabbed my pillow
over my head and cried my eyes out.
    "What's wrong," I heard a soft voice say. I was so startle I fell of
the bed. I stood up quickly embarrassed to the limit.
  "Nothing why would you thing anything's wrong?" I asked my voice
cracking.
  "Because you're crying and it's my duty to look after the welfare of my
employees so baby spill," she said in a sweet voice. I loved it when she
called me pet names it broke me down and I couldn't afford to break down
but I didn't want her to stop.
   "It's complicated, I'm dealing with it...can...can I have a hug," I said
breaking down in tears I just wanted to be held. I felt like a stupid kid
but that moment in time I didn't care. She walked over to me a bundled me
up in her arms. Electricity flowed through my body when she touched me and
held me. She rocked my sweetly telling in my ear that things would get
better.  I knew better than to believe her the only thing that would make
it better was if she acknowledged me.  I put my hand on her shoulders and
pushed her from me.  "Thanks, I'm such a baby sometimes, I said wiping my
eyes.



Her cute button nose was red and her eyes where sad. I didn't know what to
do to get what was wrong with her out of her. When she came in I was
speaking to my mother, about her and my mom said I should chase after what
I wanted but the fear of rejection was too great. When I looked at her I
just imagined her beautiful olive skin writhing against me moaning in pure
ecstasy as I made her feel things like never before using my hands and
tongue.
  "Chloe, Chloe are you okay," I heard her say snapping me back to reality.
  "Yea, yeah I'm cool as the wind," I sighed. I really wanted her and my
throbbing pussy did too and my aching tongue need to connect with her. I'd
been a walking talking horny wreck for over a month and I needed to make
her mine and quick. I felt her arms wrap around me and kiss me on the
cheek.
  "Thanks for being more than my boss, a friend," she said to me smiling
and I forced a smile back I didn't want to be just a fucking friend.