Date: Mon, 04 Mar 2002 10:28:38 -0500
From: Leila Benson <leila113@lycos.com>
Subject: The Rest Of My Life   Part #  12

Date:  Sunday, March 3, 2002
From: Leila Benson
Subject: "The Rest of My Life" (Part # 12)
Lesbian/Beginning; (F/f)
Part # 12 " Joan and I"

This is my first attempt to write a story to achieve a long-felt ambition.
I had read some erotic pieces before, and some were very good indeed. Still
I wanted see if I could reach out with just words and achieve the desired
effect. Which of course, is turning you on! The very first story I wrote
was published some months ago. It was called "Joan and I " That story
became a Chapter in this much longer story which I'm now trying to break up
into chapters or parts. I would love to know if I had my desired effect.
This story describes about six months in the sexual transformation of a
teenager as she discovers her powerful sexuality. While it focuses on
Lesbian relationships, there are some graphic (F/m) parts. What can I say,
it's my life. I guess you might say it's mostly a true story. If this kind
of story is problem for you go no further. leila113@lycos.com Central
characters - Molly, a 16 year old. Allison, her friend and mother of Cindy,
who she baby sits for, and other friends and lovers.

Leila Benson

Part #12

Lin and I both said "wow" at the same time, and then we laughed at our
"Archie Comics" exclamation. Lin removed her hand slowly from under the
blanket. I was sorry she had to take it out. Gordie seemed pleased with his
story. Even without our questioning him, he swore it was true. I didn't
care. I loved his story. Gordie, who had been leaning forward in his chair
while telling his story, leaned back in a relaxed sprawl. We complimented
him lavishly for his story and we both modestly told Gordie that our
stories perhaps were not as exciting as his were. We all agreed that
Gordie's tale had certainly awakened us and had gotten our blood
moving. Gordie opened one of the windows in the room wide and turned the
exhaust of the window air conditioner on. He then rolled and lit a long
thin joint and blew the smoke towards the fan, where I could see it being
sucked out. He passed it around. Lin puffed in a little, but I sucked in a
whole lot of smoke and had to fight to not cough it up. I felt I was far
behind both of them in the stoned category. The joint was quickly
consumed. Gordie was sort of sprawled in the chair with his bare feet on
the bed. Lin had not really moved from her position across me. So now, it
was my turn. I was not really nervous about it. I had decided I would
simply tell them my story. I trusted them and certainly the grass and Lin's
fingers, had loosened the small little bit of shyness I had. I pulled
myself up a little on my pillow placed my hand in Lin's and began.

Well I think I should begin at the beginning: I guess the years before
hormones started their wonderful change, I was pretty oblivious to sexual
things. I was somewhat aware of my brother's awakening to girls before my
own sexual awareness. I just saw the physical change and awkwardness. I
really just remember this with Andy; I was much to young to notice Steve's.

Just a word about my folk's; they were and are quiet liberal politically
and sexually. In some way, they are still a bit from the late 60s and
70s. They however set limits for all of us but were always available and
still are.

I knew a fair amount about sex I guess when I was about 10-11. I used to
read a great deal, sometimes not always the most appropriate books for a
young girl. These were always from the bookshelf in my parent's bedroom. To
say the least, all of this information was completely abstract. Then of
course there were the Sex Ed classes in Jr. High School. This was when I
was about 12.

I of course realize now how abstract and sort of dry this all was until
about the time I got my first period and my own hormones began to
flow. This was just about when I was 13. My mom was great about it all. She
had explained what I was still a bit confused about in a way that was so
easy to take. Some of my friend's of course by now where menstruating and
we would talk some, but not a lot. Boys of our age were silly little kids
and really just pests to us.

My sexual feelings were sort of slow to develop. I just kind of thought
that when I got my period they would just happen like in some of the books
I had read.  In retrospect of course, I was really quiet innocent. I did
have sort of waves of desire, always the strongest the week or so before my
period. I should also tell you that I was quite undeveloped physically at
that age. I guess I was about 14. My mom was very reassuring that things
would change and of course, I had changed a great deal in the past year but
not enough for me!! My hair was quite light, lighter than now. I hardly had
any pubic hair, just some blonde soft fluff. My breasts consisted of large
aureoles and somewhat prominent nipples. My nipples then were very
sensitive the week before my period (still are) and caused me a great deal
of embarrassment. They were almost always erect and I thought every boy was
looking at me!!! When my brother Andy used to tell me about always having
erections when he was in his mid teens and always feeling embarrassed I
understood completely!!!.

I began to try to masturbate very soon after menstruation. This would
usually lead to me getting myself very excited, irritating myself and at
best, I'd have a little orgasm, which was very frustrating to say the
least. To say that my technique was poor was an understatement. I would rub
myself on my outer lips or my clitoral hood, sometimes inside with my wet
finger. I was careful not to touch my clit directly, that I found too
intense and that would stop me, or quickly throw me into a sharp,
completely unsatisfying little climax.

I almost always pulled my nipple gently at the same speed and sometimes I
could cum a little just from doing that.

I was quite slim then (I am still) I think about 100lbs. My butt was in
some ways the womanliest part of me. It had real shape and had changed a
great deal in the past year.

My best friends name was Joan, she was my age and in most of my classes at
school. She also lived close by.

She was dark compared to me and much more developed. Fuller in many
ways. She had a full mouth and a real figure and she had breasts!!! I was
quite jealous. I can't tell you that we shared sexual secrets, first of
all, I had none other than my pathetic masturbation, and she never said
anything about sex and I was much to shy to ask her. However, we were very
close.

On day fishing around in the bookcase in my folk's bedroom, I found
videotape. It had no box, and a sort of a crude label titled " Young First
Time Amateurs"# 18. I knew almost at once that this was a sex tape. I don't
quite know how but I knew, but I knew.  No one was home and not expected
for hours. I was filled with excited anticipation. I pulled the shades down
and put the tape in. After a short while the tittle came on, it faded out,
and we were in a bedroom with a couple who were young. I guess maybe in
their late teens or 20s. Well you can guess the rest. I was beside myself
with excitement. Some of the episodes were better, or at least much more
exciting than other's, some were sort of silly. The girl-girl parts were a
high point! By the time it was over, I was in a full blown sexually aroused
state. I had never felt quite so excited except perhaps before I had one of
my kind of semi orgasms while masturbating. I pulled my jeans off, took my
panties off and found my panties were sopping wet. I thought I had an
accident and urinated, but I could smell my little pussy and myself, it was
that strong. My crotch and thighs were wet with a much thicker juice, I
knew it was from my excitement watching the video's. I rewound the tape a
little, got a towel and put it under my ass. Played the tape, masturbated a
little and had the most extraordinary orgasm of my life. I was completely
taken by surprise by the power of it. Wave after wave, it was as though I
was having spasms, waves of orgasms then shudders then another orgasm. This
finally slowed down and I really only stopped because it was simply getting
too intense. I just needed to end it. I just lay there spent with little
tiny sorts of after shocks, like little flutters in my vagina. Then
quiet. I lay there a few minutes I guess. I may have dozed a second or
two. The tape was still playing. I looked for a second and could see it
still had some power. I quickly got up stopped and rewound the tape. Threw
my wet panties in the clothes hamper. Carefully rewound and put the tape
back where it had been hidden. And took a shower. I was very, very careful
not to touch myself in any erogenous area; I was still so sexually
awakened. I dried myself off, got dressed, made the bed, checked the hiding
place and went to my room.

I drifted off to sleep. I woke up about an hour later with a plan forming
in my mind. I wanted Joan to see the tape and I needed to think quite
carefully about my next move.

 I spent the rest of the day in a sort of happy excited state. The day was
sort of busy with the usual boring chores like laundry, putting dishes away
from the dishwasher and setting the table. I was of unusually good cheer,
so much so that both my mom and dad noticed it when they came home. My
brother as usual noticed nothing at all about me. I happily went to my room
and did my homework. I could hardly wait to think fully about the afternoon
and my plans, which were only vaguely forming.

The more I thought about it the more I thought that directness was the best
way to proceed, I simply would ask her over on an afternoon or evening when
I knew for certain that we would be alone for some hours. We would work on
our homework, something that we had done together since the sixth grade. I
was certain she would want to see the tape. The rest was completely hazy
and I frankly kept putting it out of my mind. Today you would call that
denial. I did feel certain that she would also be excited by tape, at least
I thought she would. The idea that she would be upset or angry did briefly
cross my mind but I really did not want to deal with that notion. I needed
to build up my confidence, not cause any doubt.

A few nervous days later when I knew we could be alone I asked her if she
wanted to come over. It would be a Friday evening. My brother was sleeping
at his friends and my folks were going to a party, that I was certain would
rarely bring them home earlier than 1am. I asked my mom if Joan could come
over to do homework and maybe stay over. Joan coming over was completely
commonplace but staying over was unusual. I only had a single bed in my
room and I would have to setup the folding bed from the hall closet. My mom
agreed if I would do the setting up and if Joan 's parent's agreed. I told
her I would take care of everything.

That night I called Joan to ask her and crossed my finger's it would work
out. She seemed pleased by the invitation. She said she would ask her mom
and call right back which she did. She put her mom on, who asked if my
mother knew and I reassured her she did. She then readily agreed and put
Joan on the phone. We made final plans for her to come over after supper. I
knew with my folks going to a party a dinner guest would be a little
awkward. They both always fussed about the way they dressed and looked. I
loved that about them. In some ways, they were like teenagers.

After school we would rent a video to watch when we had completed our
homework. Joan would come over at about 8pm.

 After school on Friday we went to the Video Rental Store and quickly
rented "You've Got Mail", the last thing I wanted was any static about what
we should rent. I had already seen the film twice so it made little
difference to me. We parted at her house and I continued home. Supper was
takeout so my chores were minimal. I cleaned up then went upstairs to watch
my mom get ready. This was something I always loved to watch as she tried
on all sorts of things before settling on her outfit. My dad was not that
different he just had less choice. They both looked great! Youthful and all
excited about the evening to come. If they only knew how excited I was!

Joan came over at 8, wearing, of all things, her old sweat pants and polo
shirt. She made a big fuss about the way my folks looked. They loved it! I
asked if we could watch the video in their bedroom and work at their desk
they said, " fine just don't mess up the room". And kissed us both
goodnight.

We finished the homework in a short time. I guess it was an hour or so. I
must tell you I was in a state. I was extremely nervous, which I of course
I tried to conceal from Joan, who kept asking me if everything was ok. I
reassured her and told her some stupid story about my folks getting ready
and how tense that always made me feel. I knew I was flushed, because I
could see myself in the closet mirror. All I was wearing, were some old
shorts and a sort of T-shirt. I was not exactly dressed warmly. I could
feel my heart in my mouth, in my temple, and most disturbing of all in my
vagina!

I knew the moment had come. Trying to keep my voice very mater of fact, I
asked her " Joan have you ever seen one of those triple x video's, you know
the ones in the adult section of the video store".  It even sounded calm to
me. I felt as though I was two people, the outer calm one and the inner one
in turmoil. Joan answered very quietly that " no I never have, I've always
wanted to watch one of the adult pay channels but I was afraid the charge
would show on my folk's statement, so I never did. Sometimes you can see
this sort of scrambled picture but it's too annoying to try to make it
out. But I would love to see one ".

 I asked her, " Joan, what if I told you I had one here right now, do you
want to see it? " "Are you kidding?" she exclaimed. " Of course I do. What
do you have?" I explained how I discovered it, but found myself not telling
her I had already seen it. I somehow thought it would be more exciting if
we were sort of even in the experience, and also I was a little embarrassed
to admit I had seen it alone. I got the tape from its hiding place, and I
showed her the title. " Boy! This is going to be great!" She blurted
out. She was more into it than I could have ever imagined.

We were sitting on the edge of my folk's bed. The TV and VCR were in the
armoire directly in front of the bed. I got up to open the armoire and
turned the light off at the desk and put a low light on in the dressing
alcove leading to the bathroom. I was very cool looking, but my legs were
actually shaking. That's how nervous I was. I put the TV and VCR on,
slipped the tape in and returned to the edge of the bed. I asked Joan to
give me the remote from the shelf behind the bed. She did, and she settled
in the middle of the bed sitting cross-legged. I sat at the front
edge. Joan asked me if my folks or anyone could interrupt us? I assured her
that we were going to be alone for many hours. She seemed to relax even
more hearing that. I said, " are you set Joan?"  "Let's go " she
answered. I started the tape. Joan was chatting away asking all sorts of
questions like, " I wonder who the people are", " are they really amateurs
or models". When the first couple appeared and began to talk and then kiss
and fondle each other and take off their clothes, Joan became very
silent. I could feel her directly behind my back and feel her legs on my
lower back. I was too shy to look at her. As the sexual action increased on
the screen Joan just made quiet comments like " God, this is amazing" or "I
kind of think she's pretty, don't you"? He's a nice looking guy". I just
sat at the foot of the bed staring straight ahead in silence. In the first
few scenes, I was so nervous that I was only somewhat aware of what was
going on in the video. Of course, I knew a lot of sexual stuff was flowing
by, but I think I was much to self conscious to have any real sexual
feelings. I was extremely aware of Joan directly behind me. I could hear
her every breath. I could hear the change in her breathing. I could feel
her shift her body on the bed. Feel her legs on my lower back. I could even
feel the heat from her body directly behind me.

Joan asked me if I had ever done anything like this. "Are you crazy" I
answered. I blurted out " I don't even really know how to masturbate!" That
sort of broke the tension and we both started to laugh. "God, Molly this is
getting me very excited. I think I learned more about sex in the last few
minutes than I ever really knew for real. What about you"? "To be honest
with you Joan, I can hardly stand it. Don't get me wrong I mean I've gotten
so excited I have to stop this for a minute. I also have to pee like
crazy!"

I stopped the tape, got up and went to the toilet and peed. That was a
relief, but even that felt sexual. I went to dry myself off and realized
that I was very wet from vaginal leakage. My panties were also wet. I took
them off, washed myself off, threw them in the hamper, and dusted myself
off with some talc from my mom's makeup table. I left, and Joan took her
turn.

When we settled back on the bed, the spell had been somewhat broken. Which
was a bit of a let down but also a relief. We rearranged ourselves with
both of us leaning back on the pillows with our legs outstretched. Joan
asked me what I meant by never really knowing how to masturbate. She also
was curious to know if I ever had a real orgasm. I had to admit to her,
that I really never did and described to her my sort of pathetic
attempts. Her questions were very gentle, very sweet. I felt I could
completely trust her, but I didn't tell her about masturbating to the tapes
and the cums I had given myself. I told her about how while watching the
tape just now, my panties had gotten so wet that I had to take them off and
put them in the hamper. She said the same thing had happened to her but she
was still wearing them and hadn't known what to do. I told her to take them
off. When she got up I saw that her gray sweatpants were obviously stained
and pointed it out. She was a little embarrassed I think. I told her to
take them all off and I would throw it all in the washer with my own wet
panties. She slipped them off quickly and was standing in front of me just
wearing her polo shirt. I was somewhat taken aback by the fact that Joan
had a complete mound of dark public hair. I could see that it was wet and
sort of matted. She looked so much more adult than I. I told her if she
wanted she could clean herself off and while she did that, I would start
the wash. She laughed and said if we watched the rest of the tape it will
just happen some more. I smiled and agreed and took the clothes downstairs
and started the washing machine.

When I returned Joan was wearing an old silk bathrobe of my mom's. " I hope
you don't mind? It was hanging up behind the door. I also used some of the
same talcum powder that you used. I could smell it on you and on the
table." "Of course you can."  I said. Doesn't it smell great? Better than
we did." She laughed at my little joke. "You know Molly, I think maybe we
should put something on the bedspread. I don't want to stain it. I've never
flowed like this before; then again, I don't think I've ever felt like
this. It's a little scary." " Don't worry, " I said, "I'll get some towels
to put down. You look great in that robe. Very sexy. Very adult." I was a
little taken aback by my own boldness but she seemed pleased and smiled at
me. We both put down a couple of towels over the bedcovers. Her robe kept
slipping open and I kept seeing her mound. It was now dry and obviously
covered in talc. Her public hair was almost white. I remarked about it and
she laughed and sort of dusted herself off. "Is that better?" she asked."
Definitely" I agreed. We both sort of got into a sort of giggling fit. I
think we were both very tense, to put it mildly. I heard myself asking her
to make herself more comfortable and take off her polo shirt and I would go
to my room and get in my PJs. I was also aware that I had no panties and
didn't want to stain my shorts. So I pranced out changed quickly and came
back in my PJs. That little break was helpful, it allowed me to calm myself
down and think more clearly. I really didn't have a plan but I wanted to
feel a little more in control than I did before.

Joan was sort of lying with her head up on some extra pillows she had found
on a shelf in the dressing alcove. She had built a mound of pillows for
me. " Is this ok?" she asked. "Great" I said. "Boy does this look
comfy". The armoire was slightly off center as was the TV, so we both found
ourselves lying on our left sides facing the TV. I asked her. "Ready?" "As
ready as I'll ever be". She answered with a slightly nervous smile. "Let it
roll". I started the tape.

The girls in the tape could have been teenagers but I would guess they were
in their early twenties. Neither one was beautiful or looked like models. I
guess you might say that they were sort of pretty. Very real looking, not
at all like actresses. One of the girls was called Alice. She was very
slender and pale. She had short sandy blonde hair cut in sort of bangs. She
was wearing a white mitty blouse and a dark blue skirt. She was wearing
loafers with white ankle socks. I recall all of this very clearly, because
I remember thinking that they want her or she wants to look like a
schoolgirl. The other girl had long, very dark curly hair with very strong
features. Her body was womanly. She was very distinctive looking, more
exotic, maybe Italian or Greek. She was dressed in the same way. They
looked like they went to a Parochial School.  I think that the realness of
the girls added a lot to making the tapes as powerful as they were.  The
setting also helped. It was a regular looking living room with a big
comfortable kind of beige sectional couch with big dark tan pillows and I
remember a fireplace. There was a sort of thick carpet on the floor. There
were tall plants near the window.  It seemed to be in the daytime, as I
could see light coming through sheer drapes. The room in fact was rather
pretty. I remember the room perfectly. Of course, I've seen this part of
the tape a number of times.

As the interaction of the girls on the tape proceeded, I again became
extremely aware of Joan. Only this time my feelings were just strongly
sexual. This time she was not at my back, but directly in front of me as I
sort of lay on my left side. Joan was making small little comments almost
to herself. All I heard her say was, "this is so exciting." She turned
around, and asked me. "Molly are you as turned on as me? I can hardly stand
it." I was surprised by her frankness, and answered boldly. "God Joan I
think I need to touch myself, but I'm a little shy I guess. I can hardly
stand it." "Please go ahead. I feel like that too. Maybe we can help each
other, sort of like on the video. Would that be ok? She asked. "I think I'd
love that." I answered quietly. I moved closer to her back and reached
around her. My breasts and nipples against her warm back felt
wonderful. Her breasts where exposed to my hands. I hesitated for a moment,
then gently touched her nipples with the tips of my fingers. Joan gasped
and sucked in air. "Is that ok?" I asked. "Oh yes. That feels so good. Do
that some more. Please Molly. Yes like that. Oh that's so great." I felt
bolder at her urging and took her nipples between my fingers and squeezed
and rolled them. She kept whispering, "yes, yes, yes." She was kind of
urging me on I think. I certainly needed no urging.

Feeling her engorged nipples in my fingers and her reaction to the various
ways I touched and kneaded them was enough for me. I was watching the video
at the same time. It was almost impossible to fully concentrate on the
video with the real thing happening in my arms and fingers, so I reached
over for the remote and turned the set off. Joan turned to me; her head was
on the pillow with her long dark hair spread out. Without hesitating I bent
down and kissed her. The moment my lips touched hers, she opened them and
her tongue shot into my mouth. I never expected this. Joan began to almost
eat my lips and tongue. She thrust her tongue into my mouth, then began to
intertwine it with my own. I was taken aback and was passive to begin with,
then I found myself answering her mouth with mine. I loved I! We did this
for awhile, then stopped to catch our breath, then continued. I realized
that I was almost straddling Joan. My knees were at her side. My head now
on her chest above her breasts. I felt Joan's hand's on the cheeks of my
ass pushing me down on her mound as she wiggled and thrust herself at me. I
returned the thrusts. I had never, never, been this excited before. I also
had absolutely no idea what to do at this moment. Joan had taken her hands
off my ass and gently pushed me up. I was now sitting on top of her with my
ass o her mound and my weight on my knees. Joan with half shut eyes,
reached up and began to fondle my breasts very much as I had done to her. I
almost yelled out it felt so wonderful. "Oh God Joan don't stop
please. That's so good, so good." I was actually yelling. I was almost out
of control. Joan stopped and gently moved me off her so I lay beside her. I
realized that I was sopping wet. I could actually smell myself and feel the
wetness between my legs and on the PJ bottoms. I was thinking about this
and sort of catching my breath. Joan looked over and saw the problem. My
blue bottoms were wet. She reached over and told me to lift my ass as she
pulled them down and off. She dropped them on the floor. I could feel the
cold air on my wetness. Joan took a towel and moved my legs apart and began
to dry me. She was using the corner of the towel and in my excited state,
the drying itself even felt great. I raised my knees and spread myself to
allow her full access. Doing that in such an open way was very thrilling
for me. It was as if I was inviting Joan inside me. And I was!