Date: Wed, 8 May 2013 13:32:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mas P <maspgurl@yahoo.ca>
Subject: Scars - Part 2/2

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This story is for all of us who are still searching.


Scars: Part 2/2


"I'd like some info on the property at Church and Queen Jim...where that
coffee shop is..." Sam watched as Selena zipped up a suitcase, smiling at
the excitement that vibrated from her. She was able to get two weeks off so
Sam arranged to be gone for the same amount of time. A few calls to the
office and she could sleep easy. "Yes...yes, I'm here Jim. Well I'm
thinking residential but we can look at figures for an office space...
mixed-use is probably the best bet." Selena held up a flower printed summer
dress for Sam's approval. With a thumbs-up from Sam she beamed and added it
to her carryon bag.  Sam found that she loved watching Selena pack. Then
again, she loved watching her do just about everything. "Just get me the
cost from the owner and let's look into it a little more when I get
back...Thanks Jim. Merry Christmas to you too."

With the call coming to an end Selena finally walked over to the chair Sam
slouched in and immediately straddled her hips. Selena wrapped her arms
around her neck settling until not an inch separated their bodies.

"Are you all mine now Sam?"

Sam nodded against soft skin, breathing in the scent of coconut and
vanilla. "All yours." In more ways than one.



From a snowstorm to a tropical island in a matter of hours. Selena was
still pinching herself. Two weeks.

Two weeks was a lot more than a few sporadic nights and mornings in bed.

"Let me get that." Selena smiled as Sam took her laptop bag and hoisted it
onto her own shoulder.

"I can lift that you know?" Selena noticed the increase in chivalrous
behavior. She barely touched a door handle with Sam around, not to mention
actually having to lift something on her own. It was cute.

"So can I," Sam winked and led them over to a row of empty seats that faced
a wall of glass. Selena loved to watch the busy airport runways when she
travelled. They settled down only to have Sam jump up again. "You want a
coffee or tea or something?"

"Tea perhaps." Selena watched her go, her eyes travelling on their own to
the round ass in snug fitting jeans disappearing in the crowd. She glanced
around and blushed when a man gave a knowing smirk. "I can't believe I'm
doing this."

She'd never done anything so spontaneous before. When she told the few
people who asked where she was spending the holidays they all asked the
same thing, "Why?? She wanted to shout to the world "Because I'm in love!"
But she merely shrugged and said, "I need a vacation."

They mostly nodded their heads in agreement. Her secretary was the only one
who surprised Selena. Connie hugged her and told her how happy she was for
her. It made Selena wonder if she knew about the real reason behind her
trip.

Sam was back a few minutes later and settled in the chair. She nudged
Selena's shoulder. "You alright?"

The grin was immediate. "Yeah." She took a sip of her tea and thought back
to an incident at the baggage claim that baffled her. "What was the holdup
at baggage claim anyway?"

She thought back to Sam's defiant pose with arms crossed as she glared at
the two big men who stood asking her questions. All she heard Sam say was
"...didn't think it was a crime to have one." The men looked at Selena,
each other and silently allowed Sam?s bag through.

"Nothing to worry about."

"When's the last time you saw your family anyway?"

"October third."

Selena watched Sam sip her coffee as she went back in time to that
day. What was interesting was that she was sure it was the day she called
Sam for the very first time.

"Sam, didn't I call you on that day?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"You were in the Caribbean when I called you?" At her nod Selena sat
back. "With your family?" With another nod Selena lowered her cup. "Why
didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

She genuinely looked confused which only made Selena feel more
agitated. "That you were visiting your family when I called!" She slapped
Sam?s shoulder in her frustration.

"Oww! Why would I have to tell you that?" Sam frowned as she rubbed her
arm. Selena couldn't stand to see her looking hurt so she rubbed her arm
too looking apologetic.

"Because I called you and asked you..." Selena's thoughts were back to that
night. Heat flashed between her thighs, a normal occurrence where Sam was
concerned.

Sam's smile grew until Selena looked away, embarrassed again. "I'm never
going to get tired of that expression you know?" As she spoke a rosy blush
covered Selena?s cheeks.

"Sam..."

"I came because you needed me Selena. I gave you my word."

"But Sam," Selena took her hand. They both looked at the bracelet that
glimmered in the morning light warming their seats in the terminal. "Sam,
your family is more important."

"Well I guess that only something more important than family would pull me
away from them huh?"

Selena gazed into the patient eyes, their truth and kindness pulling her in
and demanding her to relax. Sam saw the moment the worry turned to
something softer, lighter. She couldn't put a name to it but instead of
trying to, she simply watched the soft smile make Selena?s already sexy
mouth look edible.

When Selena leaned forward and pressed her warm mouth to her own she tasted
the sweet tea on the tip of her tongue, then Selena?s lips were gone. ?You
have incredibly suckable lips.? Sam smiled wickedly as Selena bit her lower
lip to keep from laughing.

Their foreheads touched for a moment. Selena wiggled around until her head
rested comfortably on a warm shoulder. Sam stared out at the airplanes and
the men and women in bright orange vests running around in the snow.

Sam suddenly felt an earnest need to take Selena away for a while. Remind
herself what it meant to care for a woman. Then maybe...she thought. Maybe
what? Maybe they?d ride off into the sunset together? Not likely.

"I hope mama didn't plan another party."

"I like parties." Sam smiled at the confession. She wondered if Selena
would feel the same way after experiencing her family's version of a party.



Just a day ago they were both stomping through the snow. The next they
breathed the hot, humid air of Sam's island home.

"It's so beautiful!" Selena said when they drove down the road that took
them to her parent's home on Potter's Island, an island that was a part of
a group of five islands and several keys that made up her home country off
of the coast of Florida. "You live in paradise Sam."

Sam laughed at her enthusiasm as the taxi took them along the coast, past
the beaches, some deserted, some filled with tourists and locals
alike. After almost twenty minutes of coastal driving they turned through a
dirt road lined with palm trees and brightly colored bougainvillea. Her
parent's home popped up suddenly through a grove of palm trees. It needed a
paint job in a few spots but overall her father was keeping the Georgian
styled home well.

She tried to get painters and landscapers to come in but the old man was
hardheaded about his house and his yard. Sam got tired of the lectures
about how he built their house block by block, stud by stud. It had to be
done his way or no way at all. Sam watched as Selena looked around, taking
in all the vibrant colors of the flowers in the front yard.

"Let's get inside." But before they could move a step the front doors burst
open and Sam's family swarmed them with hugs and kisses and demands for her
to never leave again. Sam raised her hand and shouted for everyone to be
quiet for a moment. When she reached out for Selena she squeezed the
trembling hand reassuringly. Sam introduced Selena to her smiling and
curious family and watched as they all studied the taller woman quietly for
a moment.  Then began to kiss and hug her too, demanding that Selena
promise never to leave.



Sam stood in her mother's kitchen at twelve in the morning. A few of her
aunts still sat on the veranda caught up in their never ending stories
about growing up on the islands and cooking at the outside
stoves. Boisterous laughter and teasing always followed each story. Selena
sat on the floor with her arms wrapped around her knees like the rest of
her cousins, hanging onto every word.

When her mother came inside she smiled at the opened arms waiting on
her. They were always a family of huggers and kissers but even more so with
so many of the younger ones going off to study and live abroad, only being
seen again during holidays like Christmas.

"Why are you inside?" Her mother asked this even though she already knew
the answer. She saw the tiredness around her daughter's eyes.

"I'm fine mama."

"You do too much. You need to visit one of the homes soon. Tomorrow!" Sam
was told this as if it was final. She obediently nodded her head and looked
outside again searching for and finding Selena like she'd been doing all
night. Her little sister was sitting next to Selena as if she did this all
her life, quietly explaining terms and sayings Selena didn?t
understand. Her mother followed her gaze. "Tiara asked me if she was a
model from one of those magazines you buy her all the time."

Sam laughed but continued to take in the scene. "Do you think she's
beautiful?"

"You know that I do." Sam rubbed her eyes. "And so do you. Why don't you
take her with you tomorrow?"

"I don't know what I'm even doing mama."

"I have a room ready for you."

"I'll sleep in the family room mama." Sam insisted when her mother pressed
them to share her old bedroom. "Just for tonight. I'm taking her to my
place tomorrow."

At this her mother paused. Sam?s protectiveness of her home was well-known
in the family. She stood in front of Sam and gently held her face.  "She is
beautiful and very nice. How long will you be here?"

"Two weeks." The happiness sprung up in her mother's eyes. She hadn't
stayed for more than five days at a time in years. "I think she's gonna be
out there all night."

"I'll break it up so that you two can sleep."

"Mama, don't worry."

"Go get ready for bed." Even though Sam acted as if she was annoyed she was
secretly happy at the mothering she received whenever she returned.  Sam
finished showering and stepped into the bedroom to change. As she pulled
her t-shirt over her head the door opened and closed. Her head popped out
the top and she saw Selena leaning against the door.

"I'm in love." Sam's heart skipped a beat. "A few hours with your family
and I want to take each and every one of them back with me." Sam's
heartbeat slowed again. She shrugged off the disappointment.

"Looks like its mutual to me."

"What happened to all of that food?" After seeing the spread laid out for
their arrival, it was funny enough listening to Selena ask her mother how
many more were coming. Because over twenty members of her family rotating
every hour wasn't enough...

Selena was overwhelmed with the "little party" her family planned but
quickly got into the rhythm of things. Any excuse to eat good food and
dance.

"Everyone took some home. Don't worry, it wasn't wasted." When Selena
stepped into her arms she heard the taller woman breathing in deeply.

"You smell good." Soft kisses were pressed to her neck and a hand nimbly
sneaked beneath her t-shirt.  Sam found the hand as she was lured into a
kiss and kept a firm hold of it.

"And you taste good." She pulled out of the kiss, pecking Selena softly as
she did. "But...I have to sleep downstairs."

It took a moment for the words to settle in. "What?"

"It's my parent's house..." She allowed the thought to hang between
them. Thankfully Selena caught on without her having to explain but Sam
knew that she wasn?t happy about the news when she crossed her arms.

"But she told me we'd share this room." The pout was too cute for Sam not
to kiss so she did just that.

"She would always say that. But I know her. I'm always gonna be a kid to
her." Selena looked as if she was about to pout any moment. "You're so cute
when you're horny and miserable."

"I'm glad you take pleasure in my unhappiness." Sam hugged her and promised
to find her first thing in the morning.

"It won't be like this after today."

"Why?" When she told her that they were going to her place the next day she
looked sad. "But I like your family." Sam laughed and shook her head,
wondering if Selena could be any more adorable.

"We're gonna see them everyday Selena. Trust me, you're gonna grow sick of
them."

"Impossible."

Sam kissed her again. Then one more time for good luck. Then a third for
sweet dreams. By the time she left Selena standing in her bedroom she was
just about ready to drop all propriety and make love to her all night no
matter who heard.

Sam was punching the pillow harder than necessary when she heard Tiara's
sock-covered feet came padding into the room. She tossed the pillow to the
ground in defeat; she was more comfortable sleeping on Selena. She settled
with a sigh and studied Tiara?s oversized sweater. Sam was sure it belonged
to their dad at some point. Her little sister was always cold in the
air-conditioned house. Their mother was convinced that Selena would melt in
the tropical heat. "Hey you," Tiara waved and plopped onto the bed as if
the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

"Mom said that you're leaving tomorrow."

"I'm going to my place Tiara. That's all."

"Then how can I see you if you go there? And you're taking Selena too?" Sam
bit back a smile at the pout on the teenager's face.

"You can come to the house whenever you want Tiara. She's gonna be there
too ya know?"

"She's pretty. Like a model or something. Is she your girlfriend?"

Was she? "Why don't you ask her that yourself tomorrow?" She stared at Sam
as if ready to ask more questions but holding off for some reason. "Why
don't you go to bed. Tomorrow we'll do something okay?"

"With Selena right? She knows a lot of stuff."

Sam stared into the darkness. She made out the shadow of the medium height,
spruced up Christmas tree and brightly wrapped boxes underneath in the
corner of the room. The boxes would double once Sam had the gifts she
purchased wrapped up. She felt herself begin to slowly relax.

No phone calls, no meetings. I'm home, she thought. In more ways than one.



Selena woke up to the low hiss of cool air being pumped into the
bedroom. Her hands reached subconsciously for the warm body she knew she
should find there but there was no one. She rolled around the strange bed
and burrowed her face in the pillows.  Sam's pillows...

She smiled at that. All of it was Sam's. Sam's here, just down the
hall. She sat up in bed and flung off the covers. Her investigation of the
contents of the bedroom was immediate and over in twenty minutes.

She looked at the photos stuck in the mirror that had seen better days. Sam
as a teenager with her father. She remembered her dad from last night. He
had deeply tanned skin and curly black hair. Sam with her little sister in
the dirt. A woman nearby watching them. Her mother. She fell in love with
Sam's mother as soon as she tasted the rice and beans she made. The woman
should have her own restaurant. She loved the way her brown skin glowed
from the inside. Sam clearly got her exotic features from her mother. All
of them.

Sam as a young adult surrounded by other people her age. Probably in
college or university.

Sam leaning against a railing looking out into the ocean. Pensive. The
young business woman.

Sam surrounded by children. Sam playing with more children. Who were they?
A photo of a pretty building with charming dormers.

"Vedrine Williams Home for Children"

"Potter's Island Children Hostel"

Interesting...

It was probably 7am and no one came to wake her yet. She figured she might
as well get washed up. She ignored her bags and dug around Sam's draw until
she found a t-shirt and shorts. They'd be shorter on her but they looked
cooler than the clothes she brought still managing to underestimate the
ever present Caribbean heat.

In the shower she stood under the hot water. Eyes closed and head held
back. I've never had such a relaxing shower in my life.

Maybe the air had some stimulant in it that took stress away. Selena
laughed at the thought of it. Her hands moved from her stomach to her
chest. The bumps there surprised her. She forgot about them. She hadn't
thought about them since she stepped on the airplane.

"...something more important than family would pull me away..."

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. A peek
into the hallway revealed no one. She stepped into the bedroom and closed
the door. She wiped the water off and smeared on sunblock like Sam
suggested. She stood staring at her naked body when a knock sounded at the
door. After grabbing the towel she told the person to come in. It was Sam
looking sleepy-eyed and happy.

Silently she walked up to Selena and wrapped her arms around her waist from
behind. Selena leaned back, allowing Sam's neck to comfortably rest on her
shoulder. "Good morning beautiful." Sam felt the towel lower and looked at
all of Selena in the mirror. She hugged her closer. "Missed me?"

"Terribly." Selena took note of the messy hair and sleepy eyes. "Did you
miss me back?"

"I did." Selena watched her hands raise and move over her scars to her
shoulders. They stilled there. "All of you. I-"

Two knocks at the door and then they both heard the sound of the handle
turning. Selena grabbed clumsily for the towel. The door opened. The towel
slipped away.

"Good morning Selen-"

"Tiara! You don't just barge into rooms!" Sam was loud, angry. When Selena
thought back she realized that she was acting protective. She moved to
stand in front of Selena but the mirror couldn't hide what her sister
saw. Tiara's eyes widened and she stepped back.

"I'm sorry..." She closed the door quickly but Sam followed her out and
closed the door behind her.

Selena was left in the bedroom clutching the towel against her naked chest.



"...and barge in like that!"

"I'm sorry! I only did what you told me to do! I was gonna ask her!"

"What are you talking about? You have to learn-"

"What's all this noise first thing in the morning?" Sam and her sister
swung around to find their mother standing with hands on her hips, both
looked apologetic yet still defensive.

"What's wrong with her?" Tiara asked.

"Be quiet Tiara," Sam warned.

"Wrong with who? Is Selena alright?"

"I'm sorry I just barged in like-" Sam held up a hand and glared at her.

"You two tell me what is wrong right now!" When Sam's papa stepped out in
his boxers and an undershirt she glared some more at her little sister. She
couldn't control the anger now. "Tiara!" Her mother demanded.

"I went into Sam's room without knocking and-"

"And she saw me." All eyes turn to the calm voice on the other end of the
hallway. All of them stood in the narrow hallway looking confused, angry
and scared. She wore a t-shirt now and the fake bumps of her bra was where
Tiara's eyes landed immediately though she looked away a moment later.

"Saw you...?" Sam walked to her and took her hand. Suddenly fear filled her
mother's eyes even though she didn't know why.

"I had a double mastectomy Mrs. Williams. Tiara saw the scars." She turned
to Tiara and released Sam's hand to walk up to the frightened girl. "Have
you ever heard of the word cancer?" She heard a gasp and the murmuring of a
prayer. Tiara nodded. "My mother and sister had this disease but they
didn't make it. They both had breast cancer." She saw the shock in the
young girl's eyes. She understood.

"So you..."

Selena nodded and smiled a little to reassure her that it was okay. "I had
them removed so that I wouldn't get sick."

Selena heard footsteps walking away and looked up in time to see Sam enter
her bedroom and disappear.  She looked into Mr. and Mrs. Williams eyes and
smiled. To her surprise, the peace she wanted Sam?s family to see in her
smile was real. "She saw my scars and they probably gave her a little
shock."

Tiara smiled and looked at her feet in embarrassment.

She had come to expect a lot of things when she told people she had the
surgery performed, but she never expected the bear-like hugs and short
prayers. When Mr. Williams released her he had tears in his eyes and nodded
his head. "My mother died from cancer. You are a very brave woman."

"I'm sorry..." Tiara said over and over as Selena walked her back to her
own bedroom and gave the slight teenager a tight one-armed squeeze.

"Hey! Stop apologizing!"She said this in a happy voice that began to put
the young girl at ease. "It's okay, okay?"

Finally everyone was back in their bedrooms. Mrs. Williams decided that
breakfast would be in an hour now.

Selena stepped into Sam's bedroom. Sam was sitting on the opposite side of
the bed staring out the opened curtains. The view was swaying palm trees
and tropical flowers. Selena walked around to sit next to her and stared at
the same view. When she finally looked into Sam's face she saw the tears
pooling in her eyes.

"Oh Sam..." Selena stood up and pulled Sam's face close to her. She could
feel the sadness in the way Sam?s arms wrapped around her waist and
squeezed her. "Don't Sam. I'm okay."

"If you didn't cut them..."

"But I did." Sam pushed away and looked up at her. The watery gaze made Sam
look the opposite of the woman Selena first laid eyes on in a bar on King
Street; bold and cocky. She looked vulnerable now, almost fragile as Selena
watched her breathe in deeply trying desperately not to cry. "Sam..."

"If you kept them Selena, you could've been dying. What if-"

"Don't say it." But she didn't have to, the question still hung between
them. Selena pushed Sam back until they lay holding each other. Right then
Sam knew that her heart wasn't her own anymore, with the two of them
sprawled in her childhood bed and the sun rising. She fell in love with
Selena right then, scars and all. At some point Sam would tell her just
that, tell her how she loved those scars as much as Sam loved her hands.
And she was very fond of Selena's hands.



Sam's family didn't say anything when a subdued Sam came downstairs holding
Selena?s hand. They spent the hour touching and quietly talking about
nothing and everything but Sam knew when she was being distracted. Selena
marveled at the fact that she was assuring this strong woman. A woman who
could have invited just about any woman to spend the holidays with her
family but instead chose her. Her and her scars.

When Tiara hugged her with an incredibly sad goodbye Selena wondered if she
really wasn't going see them again in seven hours.

They drove to the beach house Sam built over four years ago but had yet to
spend any extended period of time in. Unlike their parent's home, she
designed her own in a way where the heat had nowhere to go but out. "I took
my time with this one," she said as they walked around the yard and out to
the sea. After sitting on the beach and throwing bread at the greedy
seagulls they came back in and ate leftovers from the day before.

Sam gestured around her as they lay with eyes closed on Sam's bed. The
ceiling fan lazily moved cool air scented with sandalwood around the
room. "You should just walk around naked in this house. We'll just be
having sex all day long anyway."

"So no eating or sleeping for us huh? No television?" Not that Selena
spotted a television for that matter. She was sure the house had one but
Sam took such care in making the space feel and look far removed from the
city life left behind in Toronto. The bedroom itself was stark white with
accents of bamboo and blue that made her feel as if she was on the beach
instead of in bed.

Sam laughed as she crawled up her body, kissing every spot she could
reach. She imagined how every curve looked behind closed eyes. How can you
get wrapped up in a person so quickly?

"My mother is going to want to see us this evening but I don't want to
share..." Selena smiled down at the dark head of hair slowly moving further
and further up her body. She watched Sam curiously as her lips puckered to
meet her skin. It felt like she was outside of her own body seeing the
intimate kisses, feeling the petal-soft touches. She still purred inside
from the orgasm Sam brought her too minutes earlier. She never felt the
same intensity with lovers in the past. It frightened her less and less
now.

"You must give to receive." Sam stopped her kisses and looked past Selena's
face as if deep in thought.

"Well I've been giving you head all day, so I guess it's time to receive
head." Selena giggled as Sam blew a line of warm air on her stomach.

"That tickles."

"Let's go swimming tonight."

"Okay. I brought my suit so-"

"Naked. You can't swim at night with clothes on." She said it so
matter-of-factly, as if it was something everyone should know. Selena's
eyebrows bundled up above her nose and her eyes glanced to the right then
lowered.

"Someone could see me..."

"There's no one on that beach for at least two miles either way Selena."
Say yes, she pleaded. Sam took it on as a personal mission to erase the
shame that still hung out behind Selena's eyes. She wanted to eradicate it.

"Did you see your sister's face when she saw me?"

"She's a kid."

"But did you see it?" Sam pulled the slim body on top of her own and
wrapped her limbs around her. A sheet of paper couldn't slide between
them. Selena sighed as their foreheads met and stayed. "You don't
understand."

"Do I look at you that way?" Selena was quiet. "Have I ever pitied you or
scorned you?" She shook her head slowly and breathed deeply. She settled
her body against Sam's. Sam felt warm breath against her neck as she spoke.

"The first night I tried to make love to Lori after the surgery she
promised me that it wasn't me." A soft finger played around Sam's ear until
Sam held the hand still. "When I stood looking in the mirror the next
morning I looked up and I saw Lori staring at me. At them..."

If I ever see that woman I'll deck her, Sam thought as she fought the
fierce anger that simmered in her chest.

"The expression on her face-"

"She was an ass. Probably still is. In fact, let's go somewhere."

"Huh?" Sam rolled out of bed and dug around for clothes.

"We're gonna see something. Just so you can kinda...put things in
perspective."

Sam held her hand as she led her out of the house. After passing the
automatic gates at the edge of the property, they drove by a few homes,
some of them looking more like hotels but all hidden away behind trees and
bushes like Sam's until they reached the more populated part of the island.

"This is downtown. We have to come back here soon to do some shopping."

"Oh really?" Selena looked over at Sam as she drove. The shades she wore
looked good against her brown skin. Pedestrians, both tourists and
residents filled the street. Soon they turned off of the main street and
made a series of left and right turns that took them to a residential
neighbourhood. They pulled up to a gated property that slowly opened after
Sam announced who she was. A man from a side building waved them through.

I saw this before...

It was one of the buildings in the photographs in the hallway in Toronto
and Sam's bedroom. They parked and Sam walked around the jeep to grasp
Selena's hand. "This is one of my homes away from home." Selena shook her
head at the mysteriousness of the whole thing but followed along.

They stepped into an air-conditioned foyer. All around we're bright colors,
toys, paintings, stuffed animals...it was a toyland and also the reception
area of Vedrine Williams Home for Children. The young woman behind the desk
was dressed like a nurse. The image of Dora the Explorer spotted the
scrubs. She looked up and nearly jumped out of her seat when she rested
eyes on the couple.

"Ms. Williams! We didn't know you were coming in today!"

"It's okay, just popping in. This is Ms. Quinn."

She nodded and politely introduced herself to Selena but quickly focused on
Sam again. "We heard you were in town but thought you'd be by later in the
week."

"It's fine. How are they? Any new faces?"

"Everyone's fine. With school being out for the holidays they're all mostly
excited..." As they talked Selena studied the walls of a hallway that was
lined with group photographs of children. The woman pressed a button and
told someone that Sam was there. Sam turned to Selena and told her that the
frantic looking woman approaching them was the matron of the shelter,
Ms. Jessica Brown.

Selena's hand was held in a firm handshake. "Pleasure to meet you
Ms. Brown."

Sam led them through the reception area then down a hallway that led to a
cherry looking kitchen, a living room filled with couches and huge
pillows. Then they stepped into a similar room that was filled with tables
where over two dozen little heads were focused on painting and drawing. A
man walked through with another woman helping them.

One of the kids looked up curiously then ran over. "Sammy!" Everyone looked
up, most ran over trying to get a hug and more or less pushing Selena out
of the way in order to do it. Some held back. Selena learned that they were
some of their newer and more timid guests.

"Hello! Hellooo!" Sam was pulled into the room and was almost yanked into a
chair that reached mid-shin.  She laughed and told everyone she was just
stopping by for a little visit with a friend. All at once, many pairs of
eyes turned to Selena. She would have ran away if it wouldn't have looked
silly. "Everyone, this is Ms. Selena. Now how do we make our new friend's
feel welcomed?"

Selena's eyes grew as tiny hands pulled her down to their faces and
peppered her cheeks with kisses. One little mutt even managed one on the
lips. Little arms hugged her, one by one until they were all giddy with
laughter. So happy, all of them she thought even as she looked at some of
their faces. Some were disfigured while others weren't. A few of the more
solemn children had bruises on their faces, fresh bruises. A few had
obvious scars. Yet most of them looked so healthy and happy that Selena
forgot for a while that they were homeless. Well, are they really?

She watched Sam answer a few questions and evade even more questions about
Christmas and what gifts they were getting.

"...but I kinda thought you all wanted coal for Christmas?"

"Noooo!" They all shouted.

"What? I thought Santa said-"

"You spoke to Santa?" A boy asked from the back of the group. His big brown
eyes excited and wide as saucers.

"Just last night. But he told me not to tell you about it."

"Tell us!" They demanded until she told them some story about how his sled
broke down and he pulled up into a gas station near the beach and went for
a swim. When Mrs. Clause ended up in a coconut tree even Selena was
laughing.

"Okay, okay. We have to go." Voices shouted together asking when they would
be coming back. She promised that it would be soon. Jessica Brown stood in
the doorway with another woman who Selena found out was the cook. She
greeted Sam and nodded at Selena before walking back in the general
direction of the kitchen.

"You have something for me nurse?" Jessica smiled and pulled out a sheet of
paper. Sam handed it to Selena and patted the woman's arm as they walked
back to the reception area. "Any wacky gifts on that list before I read it
and have a heart attack?"

She laughed and promised that there weren't any more requests like last
year.

Selena was settled in the car before she unfolded the paper. It was a
Christmas list.

Selena studied a name then to the left of the name where the request was
typed. "These all seem to be reasonable gifts to me. Wacky...?"

Sam laughed before she spoke, apparently last year's Christmas list was
especially over-the-top. "Ricky asked for Jennifer Lopez and Nataly,
a.k.a. Cinderella, asked for a real-life castle. In those exact words."
Selena chuckled.

"Is this what you meant by shopping?"

"You're quick baby." Sam winced at the slap to her thigh.

They rode in silence for a while. Selena allowed all she saw to settle in
as she watched the tropical landscape fly past. "How can a place like this
have homeless children? Where do they come from?"

"The same place they come from in Canada I guess. Broken homes." Sam
glanced at Selena. She looked pensive. "I always go there when I need to
find peace. They all go through so much yet they're always so happy."

"Most of them."

"Most of them." Sam repeated as a small smile grew on her lips. "But even
those ones end up happy after a while." Selena got the message though she
didn't say so. She figured she didn't have to.



"Here, taste this." Selena took the bowl Sam handed to her. The scent of
mixed vegetables and lime juice wafted up to her nose. So did the hot
pepper.

"It looks beautiful," Selena was too caught up in admiring the salad to see
the amused gazes looking her way. She was trying to figure out what the
chopped up white matter was in the rainbow of color.

"It tastes good too," Tiara said as she stuffed a spoonful in her
mouth. Selena watched Sam hand the last heaping bowl to her aunt. Aunt
something or the other. Selena tried to recall all of the names but she
knew it would take a lot more than two weeks to remember them all. She was
the only aunt out that evening on the veranda and brought along two giggly
teenagers.

Selena took a mouthful after Sam did the same next to her. She hummed and
quickly took another. After the second swallow she felt a fire roaring in
her mouth. Her eyes watered.

"Wow. This is spicy!" Everyone laughed when she grabbed the closest thing
to her and guzzled half of it down. It just happened to be a cup filled
with Sam's beer. She spewed it over the floor. After that everyone was
holding their stomachs with laughter. She quickly got over her
embarrassment and joined in. With a hard poke to the side she glared at
Sam. "Why didn't you tell me it was so spicy?!"

"It's not spicy to us. Sometimes I forget about you lightweights."

Selena pulled her juice closer and ate some more. "So what is it?" The salt
and lime was bursting on her tongue in a perfect balance. She wondered if
Mrs. Williams used a measuring cup for it to taste so perfect.

"Conch salad."

"Consh?"

Tiara laughed and repeated the word. "Nooooo. Conch. Like punk but with a
'p'."

Selena nodded thoughtfully as she munched on some more of the delicious
mixture. "What is it?"

"It's a sea snail." Sam watched closely as the chewed up food in Selena's
mouth dropped back into the bowl. When the woman's face turned a bright
pink she burst out laughing.

"A snail?!" By then everyone on the verandah was laughing but Tiara sobered
quickly.

"It's not like that Selena." Tiara slapped her sister on the arm. "Sam!"
Soon the two little cousins nearby started tugging on Sam's arm
playfully. Selena crossed her arms until Sam sobered enough to crawl closer
with a petulant expression.

"It's a seafood we eat that lives in a shell at the bottom of the seabed
like lobster or something. Just in snail form."

"I just ate a snail."

"Maybe several." She laughed again when a balled fist hit her stomach.

"Was it so bad?"

"You should have told me." Sam reached over and kissed her on the mouth,
begging forgiveness. Her cousins made kissing sounds and started to tease
Sam about her and Selena sitting in a tree. That is, until she chased them
both off of the veranda and into the dark yard.

"Conch is good for you. Makes you strong girl," her aunt said with a toothy
grin. "And you know what else it's good for?" Selena shook her head as she
took another sip of juice. "The sex drive!" Selena spewed her drink again
causing Tiara to giggle even more until she was all out
laughing. Undoubtedly her face was as hot with embarrassment as it felt so
Selena just gulped down the last of her juice in response. She couldn't
help but wonder if Sam's consumption of conch was why she was so damn good
I bed.

Sam came back holding both teenagers in a headlock. They begged for freedom
but were only granted it if they repeated some long spiel about Sam being
their master and ruler. When the little family drove off Selena watched
Sam's family wave at them until they were completely gone.

"You won't be seeing them in a while huh?" Sam laughed and told her that
they were coming by again tomorrow.

"We're just weird like that."

"I think it's sweet." Her parents went inside an hour before. Tiara finally
stopped fighting sleep and found her bed too. "You're all so close. They
all love you so much." Selena saw the worship in the teenager's eyes. Most
of the cousins made sure to spend alone time with Sam at some point during
their visits.

Sam shrugged as she turned her full attention to her guest. "Are you having
a good time?"

"I am." Selena moved closer when Sam held her hand. She slid her hand
through the loop Sam's arm made with a hand tucked in the pocket of her
shorts. Selena glanced around before snugly fitting a thigh between
Sam's. When their lips met Selena smelled the faint scent of onions from
the salad. She tasted the lime on Sam's tongue. "You love children a lot."

Sam smiled at her with a hooded gaze. She didn't think she could be any
more relaxed. "Don't tell anyone that though."

"Do you want kids of your own one day?"

"Thirty eight aren't enough?" Selena laughed but Sam saw the way her eyes
lowered. They didn't meet hers for a long time. "What's going on in that
brain of yours?"

"I can't-" She shook her head and pushed away. Sam grabbed her hand and
gently pulled her closer. The yard around them was filled with life,
squeaking, screeching and burrowing could be heard all around. But the
bubble around them seemed to slowly block it all out. Whenever Selena
stared into her eyes it happened. She was sucked into a vacuum.

"What can't you do?" Sam knew where her thoughts were. They were never far
from that place. She was flattered and humbled that such a beautiful woman
would even think about carrying a child for her but if the thought saddened
her this much... "I don't think that having breasts is a pre-requisite for
having children Selena."

She bit her lips and quickly lowered her head to Sam's shoulder. "I'm
scaring you."

"Surprisingly not." She smiled as she listened to Sam's chuckle. She
wrapped her arms around Sam's waist and promised herself not to mess up
like that again. Talking to her about having babies? Am I insane?

"We only have twelve days left." Sam's eyes were even more hooded when she
raised her head again.

"How do we fill up all those hours?"

"I think I can think of a way to fill at least two of them."


The sea crashed rhythmically against the shore. Crabs scurried around as
their soft footfalls were carried away in the sound of the beach. Trees
swayed, dark shadows dancing with each other. Their movement almost
erotic. Sam knew the beach at night like she knew it by day. When she had
the house built she'd camp out here, listening. Imagining how it would
sound inside four walls, echoing around her home until it reached her ears.

It wasn't the same. There was nothing like being on the shore.

"The sand's cold."

Sam nodded her head in agreement but spread out the blankets anyway. Selena
wanted to stay out afterward. Who was she to deny her? "The water's
probably colder.

"I doubt you'll feel it."

"Why's that?"  "You sleep naked in under 60 degrees." Sam grinned as she
yanked off her shirt.  Her shorts were next. Selena saw the grey movements
under the sparse moonlight.  I can't believe I'm doing this.

Then she was. "You okay?" Sam asked as they walked hand in hand into the
inky black water.

"Yeah." She said as her teeth chattered a little. She looked around despite
the covering of night. As if she saw her apprehension Sam tugged her
closer. The water was at their thighs.

"No one can see you. It's just you and me."

"You and I."

"You picked an interesting time to be grammatically correct." Selena
laughed then shrieked as the water hit her chest.

"Shit! It's cold." But the laugh that erupted out of her chest was giddy
with excitement. The water moved around her naked skin, caressing her like
a lover.

"This is how you touch me."

"What's that?"

"Like the water." She wrapped her thighs around Sam when it reached their
necks.

"You touch me like this." Selena felt Sam's hands running over her hips,
her ass, her thighs. Deft fingers dipped between her thighs then back over
her ass again, her thighs...

"You are so brave." Sam allowed the warm arms to pull their bodies closer
until she felt Selena wrapped around her. Sam held her swaying in the water
with ears pressed together. "So damn sexy." Sam heard her sigh. "I'm gonna
make you mad now."

"Huh?-" A moment later Selena was dunked beneath the water. Salt water
rushed into her eyes and her ears. Practically into every opening it could
find. She came up sputtering for air. "Sam!?"

She laughed and moved away. "Someone has to get dunked for it to get
interesting." A second later she was pushed under the surface and pulled
father down. When she rose again Selena was nowhere to be found.

"You got me!" Silence. The waves slapped the shore before being sucked
away. "You can come up now." She made a complete circle then felt her
heartbeat increase. "Selena?" She spun around searching the immediate
darkness. Selena had never swam in the sea at night before, how would she
find her way back if she was lost? "Selena?!"

"Looking for someone?" The question was whispered into her ear. She spun
around and came face-to-face with a grinning Selena.

"You scared me!" Sam rubbed her hands over her face, cursing as salt water
burned her eyes.

"That's what you get for dunking me!" Sam wiped her eyes and tried to get
rid of the worry. Selena?s grin dimmed when Sam moved her hands and a dull
patch of light revealed the worry on Sam's face. She reached for Sam,
pulling her closer. "Hey, I was right here the entire time."

"I know that," came the curt words.

"Hey," Selena looked into her eyes until they focused on her. Even in the
pale moon light what she saw in them made her pause. Well that's
interesting, she thought. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I was being an ass." Selena smiled and shook her
head. Selena wondered if Sam knew what she saw in her eyes. Probably not.

Instead of pointing out the obvious she grabbed Sam's lower lip with her
teeth and began to suck on the smooth flesh. Her eyes slid close as Selena
had her way with her mouth. Soon their tongues began rocking against each
other. Sliding together and unraveling them both until they were a
trembling mess of searching limbs.

"Let's get on the sand baby." Selena agreed and allowed herself to be led
out of the water. As Sam rose from the water Selena watched the moonlight
reflect off of the rivulets of water running down her body. While a hand
pushed back shoulder length hair Sam raised her face to the sky, striking a
pose that had Selena spellbound. Sam looked back at her with her eyes in
shadow, unaware of the erotic scene she had created. With the combination
of her dark eyes and the serious set of her mouth, heat wasted no time
settling between Selena?s thighs.

Sam wiped at her body with a towel keeping an eye on Selena as she wiped
the saltwater from her own skin. She held the blanket open and sealed in
the warmth once Selena moved in close.

"This is like a dream," Selena said.

"How does the dream end?"

"We make love until we pass out and then fall asleep on the beach."

"Well, we can do the first part, but with the crabs that live on this beach
we might want to postpone the second for the daytime." Selena giggled but
agreed that it would be best. "How do you feel?"

"Beautiful."

"Perfect." Their lips met and didn't part again until they lay with bodies
stretched torso to torso on a blanket moving together. Their bodies slid
together seeking purchase and release. Release that was thankfully a long
time coming.

"I love the way you move." Selena heard her speaking but was too far gone
to understand what she was saying.

"Don't stop..." was her only reply. How could Sam know her body so well?
How did she know just when to start sucking, touching, kissing her? It
wasn't normal. Sam's tongue began to flutter against her and her hands
reached out to pull her face closer in desperation. She watched the bump
moving beneath the blanket and it was all she needed to start groaning into
the night.

She was starting to find herself content in simply pleasuring now. Sam was
finding out a lot of things about herself because of this woman.

Her messy hair popped out the top of the blanket covering her face
completely. Selena moaned as her body writhed in the burning heat that
still simmered between her thighs. Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulder
and used the other to trace the lines of her face. "Can you taste yourself
on my mouth?" Selena kissed her then licked her lips.

"Yes."

"Do you know that when you come I love to just lie there and lick it all
up?"

Selena moaned, her hips moving in sympathy. "Sam...behave."

"I can't with you." She rubbed her nose into Selena's neck and listened to
her breathing return to normal. "Let's see how long we can stay out before
the mosquitoes chase us away."

Selena wrapped herself around Sam's body and allowed her to tuck the
blankets around them. "I never want to leave." I never want to leave your
arms, she thought as her heart grew under the comforting and attention. She
didn?t know what she?d do when it burst from her chest.

Sam didn't reply. She traced the bumps of Selena's spine and imagined that
they were in a world where a night like this could go on forever.



Time waits for no man. Even if you begged it too.

Sam was begging it too while she watched Selena wrap the gifts she and her
little sister helped pick out for the kids.

"Oh someone's gonna looove this makeup set! And look at the doll! So
precious." Selena wrapped and taped with enthusiasm as Tiara told her what
she wanted for Christmas. Again. Sam was sure that everyone on the island
knew that she wanted a laptop. Sam rolled her eyes as the teenager said as
loud as she could the exact brand and model.

"It's the best! Then I can go on the internet in my bedroom."

"The computer in dad's office stopped working or something?" She ducked a
projectile bow and stuck out her tongue at her little sister.

"It's old!" Sam held up her hands in surrender and decided to make herself
useful by getting some drinks.

Just eight more days...

And already it felt like they had arrived only yesterday. Sam opened the
refrigerator and peered inside knowing that what she searched for couldn?t
be found in her refrigerator.  "Penny for your thoughts." Sam turned around
and into arms that wrapped around her waist. She loved the instinctual way
Selena reached for her now. She wondered how she?d manage to go without the
touches and hugs.

"Just wondering if I should tell the brat that I got that damn computer
over two months ago." Selena smiled. The cold air from the refrigerator
moved around them until she finally swung it close. Sam saw how easy Selena
smiled the last few days. The way she bounced around the island, flung her
body onto the bed. She took off her shirt the night before and ran into the
water before Sam could lower the blanket. So carefree after such a short
time of quality attention.

Quality attention. That's what they call it these days Sammy? She patted
Selena's butt and grinned at the fine layer of flesh she knew was added the
last few days. "My mom's cooking is falling in all the right places."

"Sam!" She watched in amusement as the taller woman spun around trying to
see her ass. "I'm getting fat?"

"Voluptuous."

"Fat!" She had her fists on her hips and pouted.

"Full-figured." When Selena began spinning around again she grabbed her arm
and pulled her in. "You look sexy. You saw the way those people were eyeing
you at the market yesterday?" Selena's expression turned dubious but Sam
remembered. Tourists and locals alike eyed the woman in her tight tank top
and fitted shorts. She wore those Egyptian styles slippers that apparently
were in vogue and those oversized Jackie O. shades Sam loved. Effortless
style. She had no idea.

"You're just trying to make me feel good to get me into bed."

"I don't have to tell you anything to get you into bed." Sam's hands moved
beneath her tank top deftly finding nipples that turned into hard
pebbles. She proved her point as dark brown eyes turned black. "We need to
get rid of my sister."

Selena laughed and shook her head. "No, I like hanging out with her."

"She's messing up my flow baby." Laughter filled the kitchen when Sam
pressed her lips to that ticklish spot beneath her ear she discovered the
night before. Selena gasped and she hooked her arm around Sam?s neck.

?Oh God?Sammy??

Tiara didn't know what to do when she saw the women in the corner of the
kitchen. She'd never seen her sister with another woman like this
before. In fact, she'd never seen her sister with a woman ever, though she
knew since she was twelve that she was different that way.

She liked Selena though. She was tall and pretty and nice and smart. And
she let her paint her nails the other night even when Sam complained that
she was bored for like an hour.

She knew she should leave but she was curious too. When Selena said Sam?s
name in a voice deeper than usual the decision was made for her. Tiara
started to sneak away but Sam chose that moment to look up from kissing
Selena's shoulder. She raised an eyebrow that asked pointedly "Can I help
you?"

Tiara was gone a moment later. She sighed as she sat on the couch in the
living room and contemplated the aquamarine waters as thoughts of herself
in love swam around in her head. She loved Sam's house. Maybe one day she'd
have a house of her own and someone to bring home from Canada too.



Selena didn't know what the man put on that chicken, but whatever it was it
was causing her to make the strangest sounds. But she couldn't help
herself. "Mr. Williams," she began as she licked her fingers. He looked up
with a grin. "This chicken is so good!"

"It's that jerk sauce. He gets it shipped in from Jamaica." Selena agreed
with Mrs. Williams but in all fairness if the woman said that he grilled it
on the moon she would have agreed. Anything to have some more food.

Sam bit into another piece of the spicy meat and hummed in pleasure
too. "Nobody makes jerk chicken like my daddy." Selena nodded
enthusiastically. "Save room for desert." Selena groaned loudly but kept on
eating.


"Why did you make me eat all that food?" Selena was lethargic now. Drunk
with good food and good company. "I swear you're trying to make me fat."

"So you like how they cook eh?"

"I do." Selena stared at the black ocean. The moon was nowhere in
sight. Sam told her that on nights like this you could walk out for at
least a mile on the beach in some parts of the island.

"Wait 'til you have my cooking."

Selena sat up and spun around in the couch to level a surprised look at
her. "You can cook?"

"Of course I can."

"Really?" Sam sat up and crossed her arms at the doubtful tone. Selena saw
irritation flare in Sam eyes but she was...surprised. "I mean, you never
cooked before..."

"Because my mom is the best chef on the damn island and always cooks."

"On the whole island huh?" Sam slouched again in the couch.

"Yeah." Her confidence was too cute. Selena had to press her into the couch
until Sam began to stretch back beneath her.

"Christmas is in a day." Downtown on Sam's island was nothing like downtown
Toronto on Christmas Eve. It was actually peaceful. They had a tree up in
Sam's house but barely played Christmas carols at all. Instead people
seemed to make a point to be in each other's presence for as much of the
day as they possibly could on the island. She watched one of Sam's aunts
pop by the house saying she needed salt. Three hours later she left with a
bag of onions. It was surreal, Sam's family made up excuses to visit each
other.

"You excited?"

"Not really. I never liked the holidays much."

Sam played with the brown locks of hair that fell over a freckled
forehead. She was starting to like seeing the freckles stand out on the
fair skin. Every day Selena spent under the sun made them bolder. She
pressed the tip of her fingers to a cluster and traced them like little
constellations.

"Why don't you like the holidays?"

"Because they remind you of what you don't have." And who you don't have.

"Didn't you spend it with that Lori character?" Selena smiled at Sam's
little display of chivalry. She'd never just say Lori's name. Always "that
Lori", "this Lori", "her"...

"Yeah, but it was always so..." She shrugged. Sam understood.

"How do you feel about it now?"

Selena looked thoughtfully at Sam's face, a slow smile grew until Sam felt
it's warmth against her skin. "It's growing on me."



"What do you mean? What's wrong?" Selena laughed at Sam's frustration and
motioned further south. They were wrapped around each other but she halted
Sam's searching hands. "What?"

"I can't tonight. For a few nights actually..." Sam looked from the panties
she was about to remove back to Selena's face until understanding dawned.

"Damn." She fell back on the mattress dramatically. And what plans she
had...

"Not for the both of us. I can make you feel good." Sam sighed as Selena
moved over her.

"Just to get the edge off..." Selena smirked at her language. That "edge"
always turned out to be a rather sizable one. "Sometimes it sucks being a
woman."

"That's one way to look at it." Selena kissed her down Sam's neck and over
a breast until she reached its peak.

"What's another way?" When her nipple was taken into a warm mouth and
sucked she hissed. Her hands became buried in Selena's hair.

"It allows one of us to focus completely on the other." She felt Sam's
excitement against her thigh so knew what she'd find when she touched her
there. She wasn't disappointed. "I think I like it actually." Selena's
fingers teased her opening as she watched the exotic face become
flushed. With lips parted Sam watched her every move. It amazed her how
Sam's eyes always had such a serious look to them when they made
love. Especially when they came together. Her focus made the moment so
intimate. They would close for the moment it took her to let go then she
was staring at Selena again. It was as if she didn't want to waste a single
second.  Sam moaned in pleasure while Selena licked at her breasts. Soft
bites and fleeting kisses that she wasn't sure she'd be able to live
without again. Her body arched. Selena's did too. Her thighs collapsed
beneath their weight.

"I have you Sam...I have you..." She stared unseeing at the ceiling until
the earth righted itself again.



"Sometimes I think that I'm a robot." Selena lay on her side comfortable
with the warm body spooned against her, both of them staring out at the
water each lost in their own thoughts. Selena thought about the words for a
moment then pulled an arm tighter.

"Why?"

Sam reflected on her life up until that day with mental flash cards. Life
was always making the next deal, making another profit, selling something,
buying something, then small breaks in the insanity for
family. Microscopically small compared to everything else. "I don't
know. Life seems to be that way for me."

"It doesn't have to be."

That's what scares me. She wondered what she'd have when you took it all
away; the money and businesses. The last minutes flights all over the world
to see some new product. The one-night stands when the loneliness was too
much. She left for Toronto because it offered more freedom to live her life
openly and make money. Now that she'd done both she found that she was only
truly happy in two places. One place was at home with her family, the other
she now realized was in Selena Quinn?s arms. Fear kept her from speaking
the words.

"It's all that I know."

"Are you sure?" Sam didn't answer. Selena was sure Sam was asleep until she
felt her arm tighten around her waist. "What are we doing Sam?" Two weeks
and then what? Were they together? Apart? Midnight rendezvous? Lunch break
sex? Sam didn't answer and instead held Selena tighter. Relief and
confusion rolled around inside of her.



It was Christmas Day and they had more than a few stops to make. Sam had
the presents dropped off earlier, now they stopped by to see the younger
ones open their gifts.

It was complete chaos. Bed hair running around in all directions showing
off their new toys and gadgets. Selena had to remind more than one tiny
person that she in fact didn't personally buy the gifts. "Samantha bought
this for you," she'd remind them to no avail. She found out later why so
many of them were running over to her with hugs and screeching thank
yous. Sam was telling them the exact opposite.

At the second home it was still chaos but a lot more organized since the
kids in this home were a few years older. "So what's for dinner?" Over ten
voices tried to tell Selena the menu. All Selena heard was turkey. "I think
we know everyone's favorite food."

I don't know her at all...she watched as Sam spoke with the matrons and
head chefs of both homes. Even the maintenance guy who doubled as security
got a word from her, a gift and a Merry Christmas. Selena thought of the
gift she had hidden away for Sam but kept it in her suitcase. Selena was
waiting until they returned from Sam's parents. It was near impossible
thinking of a gift for someone who could buy whatever she wanted. She
wanted privacy in case it was a bust.

"Are we going to your parents now?"

"Yep. That okay with you?" They walked hand-in-hand toward the jeep. The
weather cooled a little but other than that, there was no change in the
general tropical atmosphere. Just about every day was perfect for a beach
picnic. Luckily for her Sam was forever-ready for a swim. "I'm a fish in my
parallel life," she said as she splashed around the cool water one
afternoon.

She came back to the present and rubbed her stomach in anticipation. "I saw
that turkey she was starting yesterday. It's more than okay."

"I think you like my mama's cooking more than you like me Ms. Quinn."

Selena touched Sam's thigh and looked at her with a pitiful expression. "I
didn't want you to find out this way..."

"Ha! Funny." With a grin Selena turned to watch the scenes outside whiz
by. They pulled up to the house and had to squeeze around the many cars all
parked haphazardly in the yard. Sam shook her head at the jigsaw parking
arrangements. "I swear, they need to stop selling these licenses man." They
each took a few shopping bags, more last minute gifts for family members
she forgot.

Sam stood back as her family pulled Selena into the fold. Everyone
complimented her on her pretty dress and slippers. Sam opted not to dress
up and wore cargo shorts and a v-neck t-shirt but Selena couldn't be
convinced that casual attire was appropriate for a Christmas dinner at her
family home. Sam waved and hugged even as she kept an eye on the taller
woman. She couldn't help the feeling that swept over her as she watched her
move farther and farther away from her and into the house she grew up in.

Good things like this don't last Sammy...

Sam was watching her bloom but knew deep inside that she wasn't going to be
the one who gazed at the flower when it mattered. The fact alone made her
throat tighten. Selena turned around and brushed her hair from her
eyes. After searching for a few moments she waved. Sam waved back. Tiara
called her into the kitchen. It was a good excuse as any to shove the
foreign emotions aside.



"You happy?"

Mrs. Williams moved around the kitchen piling bowls and plates with
food. By some miracle the room was organized and empty of the mass of
humanity outside save for no more than three women at a time. The woman had
a booming voice when irritated that Selena noticed was especially deafening
for the men of the family who she said "always got in her way" when food
was cooking.

"I am. Your home is lovely."

Selena watched the woman wave away her response. "Yes, yes, but are you
happy with my daughter?"

The moment before they were talking about gardens and why Selena should
start one in her yard in Toronto. Now they were talking about
her...situation. But was it really that? Wasn't it closer to a relationship
now?

What seemed random was a planned discussion. If there was anything that a
mother knew it was when her child was in distress. And her eldest was
putting on a good show, but she was hurting. She couldn't' figure out why
when the women seemed so happy.

"Yes." Right answer my dear. "She makes me very happy." Selena's cheeks
were held gently between coarse hands. She could smell the herbs on the
woman's fingers and see the perspiration on the older woman's forehead.

"Don't forget that okay?" She nodded her head then was promptly
released. "Good. Now go tell Sam we're out of ice."



She found Sam in the living room watching Tiara play with her new laptop.

"It's like she never had a computer before or something." Selena made to
sit next to Sam but yelped when she was yanked onto her lap instead.

"Hello," Sam greeted mischievously.

"Hi," was Selena's nervous greeting. She looked around but found that no
one in the room seemed to be paying them much attention. She relaxed and
felt Sam's arms tighten around her.

"Having fun?"

"You asked me that an hour ago."

"Because I wanted to know an hour ago."

"I'm having more fun than I've had in a long time Sam."

"Good." She leaned back in the couch and smirked. Selena knew that
mischievous grin now like the back of her hand.

"What are you up to?"

"Just thinking..."

"About?"

"The fact that you should be free to participate in some extracurricular
activities in a night or two." Selena slapped her hand over Sam's mouth but
it was too late. She glanced around but everyone mostly shook their heads
at Sam's antics.

"You're being bad."

"Don't you miss me sucking yo-" When Selena's face turning the color of a
ripened tomato Sam laughed behind the hand and held up her own in
surrender.

"I should have sent someone else to tell you get that ice."

"I'll get it if you kiss me." Selena reminded her that it wasn't a question
but an order from her mother. "Fair enough, but you're giving the order, so
I have to bargain when given the opportunity."

"I'll kiss you in your room after you get the ice."

"Now."

"After Sam."

"Now."

"You're such a-"

"I can't wait to get between your thighs to-" Her words were cut off with a
firm kiss. She enjoyed the brief touch of a warm tongue before her family
started making silly sounds that turned the woman on her lap into a ball of
embarrassment.

"Can you go now please?"

She licked her lips as she deposited Selena next to her. "Yes ma'am." Sam
shook her head at the pats on the back her male cousins gave her. Just one
of the guys claiming his girl to them. The funny thing was that they didn't
know the half of it.

Selena didn't know what to do with the wide grins the other women gave
her. She did the only thing she could think of, she ran for the protection
of the kitchen.



You couldn't eat anymore, laugh anymore or cry anymore than Selena had that
night. She tried valiantly not to cry when Sam's parents gave her a
Christmas gift. Even Tiara found a scarf that the teenager said reminded
her so much of Selena that she had to get it.

"It's beautiful," most of the extended family drifted off slowly throughout
the night. At 12:15 the next morning they were still wide awake and opening
the last of their gifts.

Selena found a pair of pearl earrings that she thought the older woman
would like. Mr. Williams got a tie. Later in bed Sam confessed that he
never wore ties but you wouldn't think so by the huge grin on his face when
he opened it.

Selena decided on a makeup set for Tiara. She picked up on her fascination
with makeup and beauty while they flipped through a Vogue magazine.

"Do you think they liked their gifts?"

Sam held the jeep's door open. Selena was halfway in and still waving at
the three silhouettes in front of the door.

"They loved them." Her mom was still gushing about how kind Selena was for
helping her clean up afterwards.  Added to the other positive attributes
her mother pointed out she knew that the older woman would probably smack
her if she let Selena go.

Yet the only thing that she saw when she looked past the next few days was
uncertainty. How does she keep her?

"So you'll be celebrating New Years here," Sam pointed out.

"I will won't I?" Selena reached out and squeezed Sam's thigh. Her hand
stayed there like it did most of the time they drove around the island.

"Got plans?"  Sam asked cheekily.

"I just might."

Sam's thoughts emptied from her brain for the moment it took her to realize
that Selena was teasing her. "Well you'll have to cancel them, 'cause I
wanna take you dancing that night."

"Ohhh I don't dance Sam."

"Everyone dances."

"Everyone but me I'm afraid." Sam waved her words away but Selena felt like
it was important to be very clear. "Sam, I don't dance."

"Yes you do."

"I don't."

"Why?"

"I look like a drunk chicken when I dance." The laughter was expected so
she waited until Sam quieted before she spoke again. "When it all comes
down to it I dance like a white girl."

"We can solve that."

Selena knew that smug expression. She even knew the determination behind
the half smile now. "We don't have to."

"I see the way you make love." Sam turned to look pointedly at her. "You
can dance."

Flashes of their hands roving and hips straining filled her mind. She shook
her head to get rid of them. "What does that-"

"Dancing is like fucking down here." Selena's lips parted as she stared.

"Well, fucking with your clothes on. You get as close as possible, wine as
slow as possible, grind as slow as possible..."

"Never quite heard it described that way..."

"You ever had sex standing up?"

Selena felt her face turning red before she shook her head. Sam glanced
from Selena to the road. The smile was immediate, "We need to remedy that."

Selena allowed the nervousness to leave her body in a loud laugh. "You
always think about sex."

"So do you."

"Not true."

"Then what are you thinking about right now?"

Fucking standing up. "Nothing."

"Thought so."



Sam was sitting on her bed holding a box when Selena returned from the
bathroom smelling like spring flowers. Sam loved smelling her skin after a
shower. She didn't hesitate to do just that when the slim body moved
between her legs and hugged her.

"So this is your last gift from me."

"Oh Sam..."

"I know you have one for me too so don't 'oh Sam' me." When the taller
woman moved to sit next to her she held her still and moved back on the bed
tugging Selena along. Selena crawled up her body until she kneeled
straddling Sam's hips.

Once again the wrapping was taken off carefully. She plucked off the bow
and placed it neatly on top of the wrapping. When she opened the box Sam
watched her eyes turn to saucers. Good. She deserves this.

"I don't deserve this."

"Funny, I was thinking the exact opposite."

"Sam, it's too much." All of this she said as she took the necklace out of
the box. One, two, three diamonds arranged on a pendant the shape of a
teardrop. Selena saw this necklace on television. "Past, present and
future," she whispered.

"I guess the middle one is me huh?" Their gazes connected.  "The present?"

Selena moved until she sat on the edge of the bed the necklace was held
delicately in her hand. It was so light, fragile..."Is that all you want to
be?" She didn't look up when the words escaped. She closed her eyes and
held her breath.

She heard Sam moving behind her before she felt her arms wrapping around
her waist. Warm lips were pressed to her ears where they remained for a few
seconds before she heard Sam quietly say, "No."  Selena knew what she could
have said right then. But didn't she say it already? Did Sam hear her that
night when she had her fingers deep inside of her and her emotions running
wild?

You know that you wanna say it. Instead she rubbed Sam's arms and held up
the ends of the necklace. "Put it on me?"

Sam also got her three Potter's Island t-shirts and a shot glass. "So you
don't forget". Selena assured her that it wasn't possible but Sam shrugged
in answer. While Selena fished around for Sam's gift, Sam stretched out on
the bed. She knew it was a little, well, more than a little egotistical but
it was the only way she felt she could tell Sam what she meant to her
without having to actually say it.

No need getting ignored twice was there?

Selena had to make sure that she knew though. That she understood. She
pulled it out of the bag and walked over to the bed.

Sam sat up with a curious smile on her face that grew as she began to open
the gift. When it was opened her smile faded. Eyes darted around the gift
until they paused. She knew what she was looking at.

"I have a friend who studied fine art while I was studying business at
Waterloo..." She had herself painted in the nude.  "We kept in touch. He
understood what I wanted..." She looks so beautiful, Sam thought.  Look at
her hair, her lips... "I wanted you to understand how happy I feel knowing
you, more than happy." My hands are covering her, hiding her scars. "I've
never felt as beautiful as I felt with you Samantha."

The full use of her name pulled Sam from the painting, but not for long.

"This is beautiful." She looked at it some more and felt her eyes
watering. "No one's ever given me a gift like this before..."

She rushed to wipe her tears when they started to fall. "I'm crying. Shit."
She laughed as she wiped more tears away. Selena smiled sweetly and kissed
her eyes, then her cheeks. Sam closed her eyes as she felt the lips on her
forehead then they were on her mouth. Sweet pecks. Quick, then
lingering. Until she was opening herself to get lost in Selena's touch
again.

I'm in so deep with this one.

"Thank you," she said against Selena's lips when she freed them.

"Anytime," came the distracted reply. Selena was kissing and touching her
way up Sam's newly exposed stomach. She traced the fine hairs there with an
index finger and smiled when the muscles beneath Sam's skin jumped.

"Can we...?" Selena moved up to look down into the heated eyes. The strange
colors Selena had yet to put a true color swirled into a darker shade. Sam
licked her lips. Selena followed the action then looked into her eyes
again.

"Can I..."

She knew what she was asking. She shook her head even as her hips grinded
into Sam's firm thigh. "Ohhh but how I want to."

"I still say we should."

"Not my style."

Sam flashed an impish grin and shrugged. "Can't hurt a girl for tryin' eh?"

"No, we can't. And just like yesterday," She kissed her way down Sam's
stomach, watched the taut body writhe beneath her. "My situation has
nothing to do with you." When her lips hit their target the back of Sam's
head hit the bed.



She never remembered such a vivid Christmas. She thought back to the first
one she could remember. She had to be seven or so. All of them blurred
together. That day she felt as if they were living in high definition,
surround sound. Sam never figured how some people could remember when they
were two years old. Her earliest Christmas memory was the one where her dad
bought her a doll play set she'd been coveting for months.  But even that
was faded. Even with her screaming that morning in excitement, a little
like Tiara did the morning when she got her new laptop. Even so...it paled.

Selena was asleep. She had a dark thought, just for a moment, of her
sleeping forever. Anything to freeze that moment in time. An echo of the
gloom she felt hanging over her own head.

Too good to be true. She was about to reach out and touch her, wake her up
so that they could snuggle again and then find each other. Snuggling: a new
development post-Selena. The woman fit like a puzzle piece with the entire
scene from her bed. The ocean beyond the windows and doors, messy bed
linens, warm sunlight, then her.

How many now? Two more days.

Just forty eight more hours.

She brushed her teeth and fished around for a facial scrub. "I love your
skin" was what Selena said last night when Sam lie still letting soft
fingertips tickle the side of her face, then her lips, then her breasts
until they started their love making all over again.

"Jimmy," Sam said into the phone as she stepped outside closing the sliding
glass doors behind her. "Hey man. How you doin'?" She listened as the club
owner chatted her up, nodding even though the man was a few miles
away. Probably smoking a cigar on the rooftop of his club. He never strayed
far from his business. "Listen, I have a friend. Wanted to stop by tonight,
bring in the New Year." The door opened behind her. She didn't turn around
but waited. She didn't have to wait long until she felt Selena's warmth
from behind pressing into her. "Yeah. No, no, I'll pay man." She laughed
when he threatened to body slam her if she showed up there with
money. "Okay man, thanks. See you tonight."

When she turned around in the long arms she was surprised to find Selena as
naked as the day she was born.

"A bit early for skinny dipping isn't it?"

"You bring out the exhibitionist in me."

Sam took in Selena's face completely. She soaked up the freedom she saw in
her smile. "Look at you. You're like some Greek goddess." She allowed her
hands to sweep down her back until they held her hips. When she squeezed
them she watched the chocolaty eyes flare with arousal. "Do you know how
you look right now?"

Selena smiled, pleased by Sam's praise now it seemed. There was always a
trace of disbelief, but now it was so small that she had to search for it.
"Why don't you tell me?"

"That painting. The way I'm holding your breasts," Sam placed her hands
just there.  "The way my face is hidden. Why did you choose that pose?"

"Because I don't have a photo of you."

"Do you want one?"

"I do. Can I have one of you?"  Selena leaned heavily against her with eyes
focused on Sam's lips. "You kinda do now."

"This is true." Forty eight hours. "What do you want to do today?"

Selena pursed her lips as she thought about the question. "Hmmmm...New
Years Eve. You tell me, I'm just a guest remember?"

"Ain't that the truth. Well, we have about sixteen hours until tonight."

"How do we fill all those hours until then? Hmm?" Sam felt soft fingers
sliding over her cheek.

"I might have an idea."

"Hmmm, I wonder if you're thinking what I'm thinking?" When Sam's face lit
up she smiled right back. "Spend the day with your family!" At the dejected
look she had a feeling Sam had another idea in mind. But Selena patted her
butt and walked away saucily. With a look over her shoulder she
winked. "Last one in the shower is a rotten egg."

"Well you little-" Sam chased her into the room following the shrieking
closely.



Selena tugged at the hem of her dress for the fourth time since she settled
into the jeep. Sam followed the movement with her eyes and smirked. Sam
assured her that her dress was gorgeous but Selena wasn't worried about
looking gorgeous, she was worried about looking like a hooker. Sam stopped
trying to convince her. She'd have to see it for herself. Where they were
going, men and women alike would ensure that Selena knew just how alluring
she was before the night was out.

Sam had to lecture herself not to kick any asses. There was bound to be at
least one asshole trying hard to mac on private property. She chuckled at
her thoughts but didn't think Selena would find them so humorous so kept
them to herself when asked what was so funny.

They parked along the curb downtown. Selena looked around for the club but
all she saw were dark buildings lining the dockside of the island. Finally
she spotted a group of well-dressed people stepping into a building further
down from where they stood. Selena heard the faint sound of water splashing
against concrete. They were so close to the water now that she could smell
the fresh, fishy scent of it. Sam walked around the front of the jeep and
took Selena's hand firmly in her own. "You ready?" With a nod they were
walking along the sidewalk easily blending in with everyone else.

Selena watched people watch Sam as they walked past those standing in a
line that snaked its way to the entrance of the nightclub. Sam wasn't
stingy with her praises when Selena stepped out of the room in a bold,
floral print halter dress that stopped mid-thigh and black heels but Sam
herself was dressed to kill. Black boots that stopped at her knees, skin
tight black pants that shimmered in the right light and a grey, slinky
blouse that fell just right exposing a shoulder. Sexy wasn't the
word. Dangerous was more appropriate. When they walked to the door a beefy
bouncer stepped forward with palm facing them.

"Name?"

"Sam Thorne."

He quickly scanned a list, nodded and let them through. All at once body
heat and sex slammed into them. Selena felt the beat of the music in her
chest rattling her bones. She looked up and counted three floors filled to
overflowing with people talking, dancing, drinking..."Oh my God." Sam
grinned when she saw the awe on the other woman's face. She pressed her
lips to Selena's ear since the only way to be heard was to shout an inch
from the other person's ear. Selena felt an involuntary trembling from the
woman's proximity.

"You want a drink or something?" When Selena nodded Sam led the way to a
bar, one of many in the place apparently. As Sam shouted out their orders
Selena looked around and was surprised to see more than a few eyes glued to
her. Some smiling invitingly, some leering. She stepped closer to Sam who
subconsciously wrapped an arm around her waist as she chatted with the
bartender.

There were so many people. Every complexion under the sun under one
roof. Reggea music was the music of choice for the main floor where they
were. Selena felt her head bobbing to the slick beat. Reggea. She heard of
it. She liked it. "So what do you think?" Sam asked. She saw the way
Selena's eyes practically bugged out of her eyes. All-in-all though she
didn't look petrified, which was good. If anything she looked
curious. Intrigued even.

"This place is amazing!"

"You can tell the owner that right now!" Selena looked at her strangely and
nearly spilled her drink when she turned and saw a tall, thich man with
skin the color of coal standing with a huge grin on his face.

"Sammy!" Sam hugged the man. he lifted her from the floor for a moment then
stood back and studied her. "Still looking fine as hell I see!"

"You know it Jimmy. This place is looking better and better man!" The man
looked around and grinned with pride.

"You know my girl handles all this decorating stuff. Since then we had some
big names passing through." He turned kind eyes to Selena and glanced back
at Sam expectantly. Sam rolled her eyes and made the introductions.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Quinn."

"Selena please. Nice to meet you too Jimmy." He smiled and gave her a nod
before turning back to Sam.

"Lovely, Sam," he said with a wink in Selena's direction. "Lookin' to break
some hearts tonight then?" He took the subtle hint in Sam's eyes that
Selena missed and pointed two floors up effectively shifting the
conversation. "You know that I have a room for you if you need it." He
turned to the bartender and a deadly serious mask fell over his face. "She
doesn't pay for a thing." The bartender gave a curt nod and gave Sam her
money back, even the tip. Sam slid the tip back over.

She handed Selena her drink. Sex on the beach. She was too much of a horn
dog not to smirk at her choice. They made their way over to an empty couch
and Sam draped an arm around bare shoulders pulling her close as she
did. "You look so sexy baby."

"You're tipsy already."

"Drunk off of you." Selena laughed and listened to Sam's utterly silly
comments that never failed to give her a thrill. "I've counted ten women
and about twenty men who have their eye on you right now."

"Where?" She looked around curiously, expecting to see the eyes leering at
her from the packed dance floor. There were too many people. She slapped
Sam's stomach lightly in punishment. "You're teasing me."

"And you're oblivious." She drained her drink and relieved Selena of her
own. "Time to dance."

"Sam-" Her opposition was cut off with a steamy kiss that intensified when
began she to suck the sweet taste of Sam's drink from her tongue. She was
immediately intoxicated and all she needed was half of her drink and Sam's
kiss.

"You're gonna be begging not to stop soon." Sam pulled her onto the dance
floor. A path opened for them and closed around them just as quickly. Soon
they were just one more couple standing closer than they needed too with
the deepest base pounding through their bodies. Sam stepped closer
confidently; her lips close to Selena's ear. "This is Sister
Nancy. Jamaican. Bam Bam." She didn't know what the words meant but knew
that Sam was talking about the song everyone was moving to.

She stood awkwardly while Sam moved against her, around her until she felt
Sam's breasts pressing nto her back. She laughed nervously when she felt
warm hands sliding up her thighs then over her dress to press into her
stomach. She felt Sam's mouth again. "You remember what I said about
dancing?"

"It's just like-"

"Sexin'. Imagine me sexin' you right now Selena..." She allowed her hands
to slip to the sides of Selena's hips and pushed her closer. Selena's eyes
widened. She started to turn around but Sam held her still and chuckled
into her ear. "Some incentive for you."

"Are you...?" Selena gasped when Sam pushed her hips into her ass managing
to keep up with the pace of the song. When heat flared between her thighs
she closed her eyes. They flew open when she realized that she was about
get off. She looked around expecting someone to be staring at her with a
sly wink at her obvious arousal but everyone was too focused on their own
dance partners with eyes closed and hands searching. Hundreds of them. One
dark mass of moving bodies.

"Selena...?" Sam moved around and pulled her close. She didn't know what
she'd find in the other woman's eyes but the bold heat wasn't it. It was
certainly welcomed though. The music changed but the energy didn't.  No,
no, nooooo...you don't love me and I know nowwww...

"Old reggae. The best music to make love to." Sam said into her ear. She
held Selena's ass and began to move against her. "Imagine us home in my
bed, move against me like you would if no one else was here." Selena felt
her hips start to move against Sam. Sam's eyes followed their movement,
mesmerized to the point of complete isolation from their surroundings.

Selena bit her lip as she felt Sam pushing against her thigh. So hard, so
warm, so firm...she felt as if she was about to implode simply from the way
Sam was looking at her. Sam's hands began to roam. Her back, her arms, her
neck, nowhere was spared. She closed her eyes when Sam slipped a hand
beneath her dress and lightly traced a finger down her hips to discreetly
touch her where their bodies met.

"You're gonna be so wet when we're done." A shiver raced up Selena's
spine. "This one is by Beres. Beres Hammond."

"Jamaican?" Sam nodded her head with a smile.

"No disturb sign." Selena felt hands pulling her closer. "No one's gonna
disturb us tonight." Selena gasped when she felt her body betraying her in
public. "I'm gonna have you all night." Selena felt herself trembling in
need as she slid her body against Sam's, searching...

"Sam..."

"Are you wet?" When Selena nodded against her neck she chuckled. "You need
me baby?"

"Yes." The DJ made an announcement over the speakers but Sam was holding
her hips beneath her dress, rubbing the skin there as she pushed into
her. "Oh God don't stop!"

"...Nine!...Eight!...Seven!..." Selena was too busy trying to find release
to count with everyone else.

"Do you know how sexy you are?" Selena closed her eyes as her thighs began
to tremble. "I want to see you ride me all night." She closed her eyes and
gasped as her insides began to burst then completely crumble.

"Oh god...don't stop! Don't stop..." The music resumed, her legs turned to
water, people were kissing and hugging each other but Sam wouldn't let
Selena go for anything in that moment. She stared at her until her eyes
fluttered open again. They looked down at her in wonder.

"You ready to leave?" The silent nod was all Sam needed before she was
pushing through the crowd and out the door.



Before she locked the front door Selena was pushing her forcibly against
the wall tearing her clothes off. They grunted and moaned their way to the
bedroom until they both tumbled into the bed. One heaping mass of limbs and
writhing bodies.

They didn't utter a word as they took off the last of their clothes. Selena
pulled away Sam's jeans and earnestly moved up her body again to study the
solid mass between Sam's thighs that had her trembling in excitement and
curiosity.

"Where did you get it?" Sam allowed the woman hovering over her to study
the dildo closely. When she pulled it Sam moaned. Selena yanked her hand
away and looked up quickly.

"Go ahead. I'm just more...sensitive now than I was when I put it on."

"You had it all this time?" Sam nodded her head and continued to wait for
her. "Why didn't you..."

"Well, you weren't exactly all that available for this for the last few
days." She smirked at the woman's guilty expression and pulled her further
up her body.

"So now you know why those baggage guys were giving me a hard time."

It took Selena a moment to catch up to what she was saying but when she did
she raised up on an elbow. "Please tell me you didn't bring that from
Toronto?" At Sam's broad grin she fell onto her back. "Oh my God. Sam! No
wonder they were staring at us like that..."

"It's just a dildo. It's not my fault if they're gonna get all pervy about
it." Selena laughed and removed the hand she had over her eyes. Sam was in
the same pose she left her in looking cocky and confident. She rolled back
until she covered Sam's body then planted a kiss on her nose.

"You have very butch moments ya know?"

"Oh, just moment huh?"

"Days too." She pressed a kiss onto the waiting lips. Then another until
she was sure Sam's tongue was scrambling her thoughts. Selena pulled her
body up and straddled Sam's waist. She held the dildo for a moment then
slowly caressed it. Sam placed her hands on Selena's thighs as she watched
her staring down with a starved look in her eyes. "Do you want me to ride
you Sammy?"

She felt her body heat rise a few degrees when her name fell out of
Selena's mouth like that. She nodded her head and watched in amazement as
firm thighs lifted and hovered over her. She was like a hawk, watching
closely as Selena guided the head of the toy to her opening, then she was
sliding down. Lower...and lower...and lower...Sam held her hips guiding her
even though she seemed to know exactly what she was doing.

When all of the dildo was inside of her Selena sighed and smiled down at
Sam wickedly. Her hands began to roam Sam's upper body as she began to
slowly move her hips. She knew what it was doing to her even if Sam's
groans weren't proof enough.

Sam touched her everywhere, her back, her ass, her chest, her scars...she
felt Sam's lips near her mouth and sucked on them as Sam's breathing became
ragged pants. Her head began to fall back a little exposing her neck but
they maintained eye contact. Selena knew instinctually that this was one
night that they both had to keep their eyes focused on the other no matter
what.

Now she imagined them on the dance floor. The reggae and sexual energy all
around them. The base pulsing through them. She moved faster, Sam's eyes
became hooded. Then they were wildly moving against each other. Selena
gritted her teeth as she watched Sam get closer, then she was gone. She
shouted as she came. Cussing like a sailor. She never heard her use the
words outside of the bedroom. She loved knowing that her touch made them
tumble out so passionately.

Selena felt her body burning too and soon even she was saying things she
knew would get her kicked out of just about any and every church she ever
attended. "So good..." Sam murmured as she held Sam's hips still, not ready
to let her go. Selena collapsed against her breathing hard and kissing her
skin.

Sam, still out of breath rolled them over until she lie snugly between
Selena's splayed thighs. "We don't have much time left." The desperation in
the words pulled Selena from her lethargic state. Sam began to move inside
of her again.

"Selena...?" She was asking permission.

As if she needs it, Selena thought.

She wrapped herself around the woman looking down at her open to the
world. "Take me completely Sam." Sam breathed heavily against her skin as
they began to move together again. If it wasn't for their need for sleep
Sam knew that she wouldn't have stopped loving her that night.



The morning came too quickly. Sam was awake but pretended not to be just to
see her roll out of bed. She stumbled a little. This was all the evidence
Sam needed that she stuck to her word.

How many hours now? Ten? If even that?

She'd pretend to sleep. They'd walk on the beach. They'd go to her parents,
say goodbye. They'd fly back to reality. She'd pray for some courage.

A few weeks...clearly not enough time to fall in love...

She didn't believe in romance novels. Childish, frivolous things. She
didn't cry sporadically either. Yet when Selena came back into bed and
snuggled against her back, that's what she did.



Selena couldn't understand the coldness though she tried to. It wasn't
obvious but she spent two weeks with the woman. Watched the emotions in her
eyes when they were together, though they were mostly well-hidden, she
watched them closely. Selena knew when she was annoyed, horny, miserable,
bored, sad...but the way she turned away when she stepped closer...

Just a little. Not obvious to Sam's mother who secretly asked Selena about
when she was returning.

They were walking through the gate that dumped them back into Canada when
she looked over at Sam and saw it again. This time though Sam didn't look
away. What she saw made her heart rush. Selena couldn't help thinking that
something's wrong.

"Let's get our bags." Sam said and took her hand, quickly leading them
through the airport. Maybe if I can just get us out of here...Sam though
but there was no shaking the fear. I can't lose her now...

Sam stepped away for a moment when she spotted Selena's carryon,
practically running for it. It was the only moment fate needed to step in
it seemed. While the moment before Selena stood alone waiting for her
patiently, a moment later she stood looking stunned as the Lori character
stood in front of Selena looking surprised as she slowly removed her
designer shades.

Isn't this how life was Sammy? She laughed at herself. It was the moment
Selena looked back at her. Her laughter turned to a bitter-sweet smile. She
walked the baggage over to Selena and stood for a moment wondering when
life could have a happy ending for her. Selena with mouth already open in
what Sam knew would be an apology was cut off. "I got your bags. Call me."
Sam was about to lean in to kiss her one last time but saw her jerk
away. Nothing noticeable to anyone else, just a small twitch of her cheeks,
but Sam noticed. That answered her unasked question. As soon as they landed
it was back to reality for both of them.

Go.

She was good at following that voice in her head. It never led her astray
before.

So she left.



Cotton was falling from the skies. That's always what Sam imagined when she
looked out the window and saw the snow. Then she'd go outside and get
slapped in the face with twenty below wind. It always jolted her back to
reality. It was where she lived every day of her life.

For the last two weeks however she was living in the past.

She continued to stare outside the single pane window on the twentieth
floor of another downtown building in the business district that morning
but her thoughts were waking up in the middle of the night. Her face was
pressed against Selena's neck, the ends of her brown hair tickling her
nose.

She could feel the cool sea breeze trying to sneak its way beneath the
blanket wrapped around them. Her hands moved from Selena's stomach to the
coarse patch of hair covering her, grazing over the area. Selena breathed
deeply, finally waking up. Sam pressed a kiss to her skin and in a sly move
her hand is between the warm thighs. "We have to get back to the house."
Soft fingers thread between her own and start to move them slowly.

"Soon..."

"Ms. Thorne?"

Sam turned back to the four men who sat at the table staring at her in
concern. "Yes?" Three of them were trying to convince her to sell most of
her shares of a software company to them. She watched it grow from
conception to a top competitor within the last two years and decided to
entertain discussions about selling them.

"We asked if the package is acceptable to you." Sam looked down and
blinked. She didn't see when her lawyer placed the contract in front of
her. Jim looked at her worriedly from beside him.

She turned away and studied the documents. "Sure. Where do I sign?"

Outside the office Jim stopped her with a hand at her elbow. She looked
into his bulldog face. She wondered at first how a man so obviously
unattractive could land the beauty of a wife he did, then she got to know
him. He was a teddy bear inside. "You alright Sam?"

"I'm fine."

"You didn't look at the contract."  Sam grinned sheepishly and patted his
arm. "That's what I have you for."

"You're dropping out of the business world it seems."

"Just freeing up some time." I'm getting too old inside for this. Jim
nodded but didn't look convinced. She pulled out her phone, ignored the
messages from people she had no plan on calling that day and searched for
the number she needed to see. She hadn't seen it in almost two weeks. She
didn't know why she was expecting it at all. When she looked up she was
surprised to see Rudolph watching her closely. "I'm fine."

"If you need to talk..."

"Thanks." She yanked the hood of her jacket over her head and left the
building.



Lori's father died over the holidays. It was an aggressive form of
pancreatic cancer that killed him in a matter of weeks. She told Selena the
second night after her return from paradise.  She was depressed. Selena
felt an old part of her heart weakening for the woman. "He left me too much
money to spend and hotels I'll never know how to run."

"He loved you."

"I know that. But he loved his hotels more." She told her of the way he
surrounded himself in his office with miniature versions of the resorts he
helped build around the world. She nodded her head as they sat in the
restaurant. Selena spotted more than a few famous faces in the
establishment, more than two of them walked over to tell Lori hello. The
food on Lori's plate sat mostly untouched, as was the food on Selena's
plate. She had a longing for jerked chicken and bean and rice.

"...and he knew he was dying. That's what gets me every time."

She nodded her head, this time because it was what she was supposed to do
though she felt irritation at having to be there. Why am I here?  She
convinced herself that it was because her ex-girlfriend needed a shoulder
to cry on. "Selena, did you hear me?"

"What was that?" She was staring right at her and missed just about
everything Lori had said.

"I said that that vacation was good for you. You look beautiful." She
blushed because it was what she did when complimented. But the words didn't
make her tremble. Not the way...

"Thank you. It was fun."

"Listen," Lori leaned forward. "Can we get together?"

"Aren't we together now?" Lori smiled across the table. The perfect teeth
almost twinkled at her. She always loved her smile, but Sam's had a
wickedness to them that always made her..."What was that?"  Lori touched
her hand. "Are you okay? You seem...distant." She turned her hand over and
squeezed back before pulling away.

"I'm okay."

"I miss you Selena."

Selena remembered the way the woman across from her pulled away. She
remembered how quick she was to leave. "It's not that easy Lori. I'm not
that easy."

"I know. But I'll wait as long as I have to. I made a mistake." Selena's
ire rose but she covered it firmly before it boiled over into their dinner.

"I came here to be a friend." Lori nodded and sat back. "I'm not the same
person you left."

"You broke up with me."

"You were gone a long time before that Lori." She watched Lori's shoulders
slump. She knew that Lori saw other people after her. She saw the
magazines. There wasn't any use pointing out the obvious.

"Is there someone else?"

Selena saw Sam's face smiling, then her face with intense focus as she
moved inside of her...when she looked up she knew that Lori read her
emotions like an open book. "No."



The weather reports spoke of a blizzard. A big one. It was going to shut
down the city in a matter of days. Connie rushed into her office with a
list of calls for Selena to return.

"Has Joan called back yet Connie? I need that report like yesterday."

"I'll ring her secretary in a moment."

"Thanks Connie."

"Ms. Quinn?" When Selena looked up she closed the door gently. "Are you
alright?"

"Yes," came her quick reply. "Why do you ask?" Connie stared at her
curiously then shrugged.

"I was just curious. You seemed down."

She felt something inside of her about to break. She would have liked to
confide in someone about how sad she was. How lonely she felt. She knew
that if she reached out, Connie could be that person, a friend. She needed
a friend right then to talk about how confused she was about Lori's sudden
interest in her, instead she put on a brave front and assured Connie that
she was perfectly fine. Perfect in fact.

When she left Selena sighed. She pulled away from me. Selena told herself
this everyday to keep her hands from dialing the number that blinked in her
head like a neon sign.

Instead she checked her blackberry for reassurance. 'Dinner with L. at
seven,' it read.

"She needs me," she said out loud. The words were hollow even to her own
ears.



If she needed proof of it being over then the magazine was it. She saw a
picture of the couple leaving some restaurant a few days earlier. She
glared at the woman with her perfect hair, perfect body and perfect smile
with a hand pressed to Selena's back. "Fucking asshole."

How could Selena go back to that woman after the way she made her feel? Sam
tossed the rag into the trash and grabbed her coat. She had to get out of
her home before she broke something.



Her mother called. She asked about Selena. She couldn't break her hopeful
heart so she told her that she was fine. That they were doing well. She
wondered how the banker would feel if she heard her lies.

When her mother hung up she picked up the book she purchased a few days
before. "Life After Breast Cancer". Some woman wrote it. Mostly women
seemed to know what the hell they were talking about. She found four that
interested her.

At 11am she was at home while the snow fell and reading about how to make
your lady feel secure when in fact, she had no lady. She couldn't stop
herself though. Maybe it was some need to inflict personal pain. Maybe it
was a way to stay connected.

"Prosthetics..." she remembered the bra she picked up once. That's what the
gel-like thing was? When her cell phone rang in her bedroom she missed the
call.



"What is this on the stereo?" Lori asked as she stood near the speakers and
picked up one of the ten cd's she bought a few days earlier.

"Reggae! Isn't it nice?" She saw the dubious look in Lori's eyes then the
teasing humor that followed.

"Bob Marley? Since when do you listen to Bob Marley?"

"Since now." Selena took the cases from Lori and placed them back where
they were found. "I like it."

"It's...nice."  Lori fished around her music and pulled out an old Nora
Jones. "But this is very nice." Selena stood back and allowed her to change
the music. She tried hard not to but saw that moment as another nail in the
coffin. One more to join the thousands already there.



Selena didn't know what possessed her to call Lori the day before. A
momentary lapse in commonsense perhaps. She grabbed a bag of chips from the
shelf. When she walked through the "ethnic" isle she slowed down. It was
always overlooked during her grocery store trips, now however she was on
the lookout for something in particular. When she found it her eyes lit up
in glee. She grabbed more than a few bottles and made her way to the
checkout.

"You know I don't like spicy food Selena."

"Really?" Selena was sure the other woman liked spicy food. In fact, she
could have bet on it. "You don't?" They were on the phone planning dinner
for the next night. She was pleased to see Lori looking happier. It made
her feel less guilty about using the woman for company.

"Maybe we can go out to a place I heard about?"

"I don't want to go out. I want to stay in and cook." Selena was tired of
going out, being seen. She was tired of the random photographer who spotted
her date and invaded their privacy. She never experienced that with Sam.

What am I doing? She stopped herself when the comparisons started. They
were happening more frequently now.

"Okay then, why don't we just take out and meet at your place?"

"You don't want me to cook for you?"

"I do! You can cook, I just thought it would be easier if we-"

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Selena...?"

"Its fine Lori, see you then." She hung up before she said something
hurtful. Something like "Sam would let me cook for her." She covered her
eyes and wondered when she'd officially get over the woman. She felt
herself wondering how her mother was, Tiara, her father. She missed
them. Selena dialed the number before she could think twice. Her heart
raced as it rang. Then it dropped when it went to voicemail. The last thing
Selena wanted to do was leave evidence of her lovesickness. She hung up and
packed her briefcase.



"It's cold out there boss. Just in case you missed the memo." Selena
laughed at the dry humor that she was starting to notice in Connie.

"Thanks for the update Connie. I'll see you tomorrow if this weather
doesn't shut us down."

"And we're all hoping that it doesn't of course." She smiled as the small
woman left the building. At barely five feet three inches the woman didn't
look like much of a force but she knew that Connie was the reason she got a
moments peace during the day.

Selena grabbed her jacket and followed Connie's lead. There wasn't any need
to hold off the inevitable. She was going to call off whatever it was she
and Lori were trying to do. It was wrong. She felt nothing for her and
never would again.

As if reading her thoughts her phone began to buzz from inside her
purse. It was Lori.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Just confirming our dinner."

"Listen Lori, we need to talk..."

"We can talk at dinner. I have a surprise for you."

With shoulders slumped Selena made her way down the nearly abandoned hall
and pressed the call button for the elevator. With a sigh she asked

"What's that?"

"You'll see when you get downstairs." With that the other woman hung
up. Selena pressed her fingers to her eyes. It was never this hard with-
She stopped herself again. She knew it wasn't healthy. She had to let Sam
go and she had to end this thing with Lori.

Selena stepped out of the elevator and into the busy lobby. Connie was
still in the building talking to a guy who looked vaguely familiar. Selena
found herself having more relaxed, friendly moments with Connie. Though she
worried for a moment that she'd lose Connie's respect she was happy to see
that it wasn't the case. Connie seemed to work even harder the last few
days since Selena's return. When her secretary spotted her she
waved. Selena smiled and waved back then she looked beyond Connie to see
Lori standing there covered in snow with a dozen red roses in her hand. She
never did tell her that she didn't like red roses.  She felt Connie
watching her approach. Lori leaned in and kissed her chastely on the
lips. "I have a limo waiting outside."

"Lori, this is why I wanted to talk," Selena gestured wildly to the waiting
car beyond the glass doors.

"We can talk at the restaurant I booked."

"No Lori, we need to talk now. Before this gets out of hand." Her language
finally began to hit home. Lori's smile slowly disappeared.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean Lori..." Selena watched as she dropped the hand
holding the flowers and lowered her eyes.

"Who is she?" Ignoring the accusation in the question was easy. Ignoring
the way her heart stuttered when she fingered the now dog-eared business
card wasn?t so easy. "Did she give you the necklace?" Selena felt for the
necklace. She couldn't' believe that she forgot to take it off. She took of
the bracelet when she got back but completely forgot to take of the
necklace.

"You've been wearing it since you got back."

"Does it matter?"

"Actually, it does."

"Why?" Lori stared at the floor then squared her shoulders.

"It doesn't matter. We belong together Selena."

"It's over Lori."

"Give me a chance to-"

"To what?" She said as she stepped closer. "You scorned me Lori." She
closed her eyes to the hurt in Lori?s eyes. She wanted to shake the
beautiful woman in front of her. How could Lori feel hurt? With a deep
breath Selena focused on controlling her shaking voice. "You wouldn't touch
me after that surgery."

Guilt sat "I know. I'm sorry Selena. I love you." And there was a time when
the dewy, light eyes in the magazine-ready face would make Selena's resolve
melt away. But not today.

"I know that you do. But it's too late." She walked away, each step
allowing her confidence to grow. When she stepped out of the building
Selena allowed her hand to finally pull out the card. She read the name and
numbers on it again and again then looked up. The streets were clear when
she took her first step into her future. Selena dug through her purse for
her cell phone with her other hand, anxious to hear her voice. It's been so
long...

"Selena! Wait!" Selena turned around and spotted Lori quickly approaching
her. "Just wait a second!"

She shook her head and took another step into the street. Usually she
looked down when the roads were that icy and thick with snow.  That evening
she just wanted to get away and underground where the subway would dump her
at the corner she lived on. Then she could sit down with a cup of tea and
call Sam again. Then she could ask her a single question and wait for the
answer she was almost sure she'd hear.

That couldn't happen though with Lori still in her life the way she
was. She rushed onto the street and stepped directly onto a patch of
ice. Her boots slipped beneath her and she heard Lori shout her name as she
went down. Her head connected with the road with an audible thud. All went
black for a moment then she opened her eyes in time to see a car weaving
its way toward her. Just as she realized she was going to get hit it
finally came to a screeching stop.  She tried to get up again but the world
shifted and the contents of her stomach tried to make its way up her chest.

With a moan she closed her eyes. "Oh God."

"Don't move Selena!" She felt Lori's hands on her shoulders. "Where's my
phone? Where's my god damn phone?!" She heard her ask over and over as she
fumbled around in her purse. Selena felt warm, sticky heat on the side of
her head. Her finger came away stained with red. Blood...that can't be
good.

"Ms. Quinn?!" Connie. Didn't she leave already? "What happened?"

"Do you have a cell phone?" Then there were more voices joining the echoes
in her head.

"She's bleeding!"

"I swear I didn't hit her!"

"Did you get them?"

They all started to fade away. Someone slapped her cheeks. "Stay awake
Ms. Quinn!"

"Call Sammy."

"What was that?" Selena pressed the card into Connie's hand.

"Call Sam...okay?"

"Stay awake Ms. Quinn. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't pass out."

Selena laughed softly. "I won't Connie, but Sammy..." Her eyes closed a
moment later.



Sam fell asleep on her couch with the book on her stomach. It was the
second night she did that.  The snow continued to fall and life went on in
Toronto as if those two weeks with Selena never happened at all. She was
cocooned in her condo reading, barely eating, trying to
understand. Understand what exactly, she really didn't know.  Her home
phone rang. She looked at her watch as she walked over to silence it.

"Hello?"

"Is this Samantha Williams-Thorne?"

"This is she..." She answered cautiously. Only a few persons had her home
number, and this voice wasn't one of them. Static filled the line. She
remembered reading about that storm that was blowing in. she had to check
the weather channel when she got rid of the woman on the phone.

"...Selena...this number?"

"What? Selena?" But she knew Selena's voice. The voice wasn't it. "Who is
this?" She barked.

"Selena...Michael's Hospital but..."The voice sounded like it was a planet
away. There was a loud crackling for some time she heard loud and clear
"...dead!"

Her blood ran cold. "What? What did you say?" Heads were gonna roll if this
was some joke. "Who is this? What's wrong with Selena?"

"I said..." The call was dropped a moment later. Sam stood frozen in place,
then she was running into her bedroom and pulling on her jacket. She ran to
the hallway and stepped into her boots not bothering to zip them up. She
grabbed her car keys and slammed the door. Her footsteps echoed down the
empty hallway.



Connie sat with the tall woman. Model tall and model thin. She sure was a
looker even if she was an aloof one. She barely exchanged a few words with
Connie, which put her on the level of "bitch" immediately. "She's gonna be
fine." The woman turned to look at her and smiled weakly but her face was
still haunted.

Connie watched it happen so she knew what the woman was thinking. Fact was,
technically it might be true. If she didn't stop her boss in that moment
she would have made it across the street safe and sound instead of
practically running away from her and slipping on that patch of ice.  Good
thing that guy was driving under the speed limit.

She was taken in unconscious which scared even Connie. She tried to wake
her up but the hit to the head was a hard one. A bloody one too. She
reminded herself that head wounds were always more bloody than most. She
studied the specks of hardened blood that stained the edges of her
coat. What took out bloodstains anyway?

They sat in the waiting room or the ER. It was half-filled with other
people with an array of illnesses and medical needs. She watched a man walk
in with a screw driver stabbed in the palm of his hand. She didn't even
want to know how he got it there.

Activity at the desk had Connie's attention focusing there. Nothing better
to do. She was intrigued when she saw a familiar face. "Her name is Selena
Quinn. That's S-E-L-E...Well if you know then why the hell don't you tell
me where she is?!"

Lori sat up straighter and took in the scene too. "My name is Sam Thorne. I
received a call that she was sent here. Just tell me if she's here!" Connie
stood up when she saw the woman lean over the counter looking as if she
were ready to pull the nurse to the other side of it. Lori stood too and
slowly walked over to the frantic woman.

"Who are you?" Lori asked. Connie wanted to laugh when the woman spun
around with a wild look in her eyes and glared at the tall woman.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Lori Turner, Selena's-"

"Ex." Sam said quietly, loving that she caused the anger that flared in
Lori?s eyes. "I know who you are. Where is she?"

"Who called you?" Lori knew that this had to be the woman keeping her away
from Selena. She had to get rid of her.

"I don't know. Now where is she?"

"She has everything she needs. I don't know who called you but you can
leave."

"Oh really?" Sam was at the end of asking questions now. No one was telling
her anything so she had to act. Sam slammed her hands into the woman's
chest and Connie watched wide-eyed as Lori flew across the waiting room
tumbling into chairs. A security guard ran toward Lori while another
grabbed Sam's arms as she strained against him. "WHERE THE FUCK IS SELENA?"
She shouted hysterically.

When tears filled the woman's eyes Connie knew she had to step in before
she exploded. "Hi Ms. Thorne. I'm Connie, Selena's secretary. I called
you."

"I'll have you arrested for assault!" Connie waved Lori's threats away and
led Sam over to the other corner of the waiting room. She felt the woman's
arm shaking. If it was from rage or fear she wasn't sure. Connie handed her
the card Selena gave her before she passed out then wished she hadn't when
Sam stared at horror at the blood stains on it.

"Is she?is she dead? You said that she was dead." The tears were falling
freely now. Definitely fear.

"What? No! No, no, nooo. I said that she was here and in BED." Connie
pressed her hand to her forehead. "Jesus! No wonder you turned all Tarzan
on that nurse."

"Oh thank God." She watched as the woman held her face and took in deep
breaths. As soon she was calm enough to speak Ms. Thorne sat back, wiping
the last of her tears away. Connie wouldn't see another one fall for the
next twenty minutes. "Okay, tell me what happened Connie. From the
beginning."



Sam sat glaring at Lori from across the room. Lori sat doing the same. It
reminded Connie of a faceoff at high noon.

"What in the world did she see in that woman?"

Connie looked at Lori too and shrugged. "I guess we all see different
things." She studied the woman next to her. Samantha
Thorne. Sam. Sammy. She had an idea what her boss saw in the dark, exotic
woman. She looked dangerous. Sexy even. Then there was the slight British
accent and financial savvy. In fact, she reminded Connie of someone...

"Selena Quinn? The party of Selena Quinn." Sam and Lori jumped out of their
seats and nearly ran into the tired looking man who stood in blue
scrubs. He nodded at the three women and asked for Connie first. "Ms. Quinn
asked if you contacted someone by the name of Sam?"

"Yes, she's Sam." He nodded again and told them to follow him. When Lori
made to follow too he shook his head.

"Only Connie and Sam ma'am. You'll have to wait."  Sam didn't look back as
she followed the man down the busy hallway.



Selena lay in bed staring at the door. A nurse poked and prodded her. The
doctor shined a flashlight into her eyes and assured her that she was
fine. She was relieved to hear that she could leave that night. She felt
around the edges of the bandage taped to the side of her head.

She was ready to leave. Never was a fan of hospitals. She breathed in and
grimaced at the scent of antiseptic.

The door opened and Connie stepped in. Selena looked beyond her hopefully
and smiled when Sam paused in the doorway. Connie walked to the bedside and
hugged her awkwardly. "I'm happy you're okay boss."

"I'm sorry for all of this Connie." Her apology was waved away. "The doctor
said that I'm fine. I want you to head on home now okay?" She was touched
that the woman stayed as long as she did. "Thank you Connie."

"Anytime boss."

"Call me Selena, Connie. After today I think that we can do away with
formalities when we're alone."

Connie looked up when Sam hesitantly entered the room. With a nod and a
reassuring smile Connie left the room with promises to call Selena the next
day to check up on her.

Sam took a step closer. Selena watched her reluctant advancement into the
room. "I'm glad you came."

"I'm glad she called." They stared at each other in silence. Selena took
her in completely. The coat that she held loosely in her hand and dragged
on the floor, the boots she had yet to zip up. Her damp hair, still drying
from the snow...she dropped everything and came.

I should have kept calling that day.

Sam stood with a fist in her jeans pocket looking helpless. Finally she
couldn't look at Selena anymore. She closed her eyes and stared at the
floor. Selena saw the drop of moisture make its way to Sam's boots. Then
another. "Come here Sam." She shook her head stubbornly. Selena smiled at
her and held out her hand. "Don't make me stand up. I was ordered to stay
in bed for at least another hour or two." Sam glanced at the hand reaching
out for her. She took two steps closer and allowed Selena's fingers to wrap
around her hand. She was pulled closer. "I'm okay you know?"

Sam nodded her head but the tears still fell. What if she lost her? What if
Selena really was dead and she didn't have another chance to see her? She
looked up then and took in her face. Her smile a little loopey from the
pain meds, those chocolaty eyes, her soft lips...Sam wiped at her tears as
she took in all of her. "I love you so much Selena. I'm in love with you
and I-" Sam wiped at her face with the back of her hand. The action exposed
a vulnerable side to the woman Selena only saw glimpses of.

"Awww. Come here you." She made room on the slim bed and laughed when Sam
tried to climb into the bed in her boots. "You might have to take those off
Sam."

"Oh. Sorry." She stepped out of the boots and dropped her jacket next to
them. She gently settled her body next to Selena's.  Selena listened to her
sniff away her tears. She held Sam close to her and thought about how their
roles seemed to be in reverse. She knew what Sam was doing every time they
were together. Selena knew that she was helping her to heal.

"I thought Connie said you were dead."

"Oh Sam. I'm okay."

"I don't think that I can lose you again Selena."

"I don't think that you ever lost me. I'm in love with you Sam."  Sam
closed her eyes and sighed against the hospital gown Selena wore.

"Say it again," she said.

"I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much Sam...I love
you..."



Selena didn't know how long she was in that hospital bed with Sam hugging
her close. When she looked up she saw Lori watching them through the glass
portion of the door. She looked defeated. She gave a nod and turned her
face away before her body followed. Selena felt a moment of sadness but
knew that they were better off seperated. That and the fact that she was
better off with Sam.



Selena leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom watching her girlfriend.

Girlfriend. It was official now. She felt giddy just thinking about
it. They decided to spend the next few days and the weekend at Selena's
house.  Sam kept a close eye on her the night before, waking her throughout
the night as soon as she fell asleep it seemed. Selena would be miserable
but always cuddled back into Sam's warmth and patience after her
grouchiness gave way to sleep.

Sam turned to her and with an easy smile and pulled her into the
bedroom. She pulled off the t-shirt and slipped beneath the covers. "All
washed up?"

"Yes. Are you hungry?"

"Not yet. Are you?"

"Not yet." Sam held Selena close and breathed in the sweet scent of soap.

"So apparently I've been going too fast with your seduction."

"Huh?"

"According to Dr. Marla Zingsty, I should have allowed you to gradually get
comfortable sleeping naked again." Selena leaned on a palm and stared down
at Sam. She wasn't able to resist touching her and allowed her fingers to
trace Sam's full lips."Dragging you into the ocean at night to skinny dip
might have been a bit...rushed."

Selena chuckled but shook her head. "Nope. I think your technique was
perfect. Fast and efficient is better than slow and steady for me." Sam
stared at her with such open affection that she had to blink away the
emotion she felt swelling behind her eyes. "Where did you read that
anyway?"

"In a book I bought."

"What book?"

"A book about intimacy after a mastectomy and cancer stuff." Selena's gaze
held surprise. She felt Selena's hand move from her stomach to her right
breast.

"You bought a book about breast cancer?" When Sam nodded she pressed on,

"When?"

The bashful look was there for a moment then a bold confidence took its
place. "A few days before your accident."

Selena stripped away the challenge and defensiveness in her eyes and saw
it, the same thing she saw written on her face when she stepped into her
hospital room. Then she thought back to Potter's Island and the way she'd
catch Sam staring at her when she woke up. Raw, pure love.


She imagined that it was how a diamond looked before someone thought to cut
it away into perfect angles and then took the liberty to polish it.

"You bought a book about breast cancer?"

Sam swallowed. "More than one actually..." Selena's smile was slow. Then it
was pressed against her lips.

"I think I just fell in love with you all over again." Sam rolled them over
as a need to touch her suddenly filled her head.

"I'll do anything for you." Selena closed her eyes and focused on the lips
kissing their way down her neck, the fingers pressing against her body,
parting her folds. She gasped when they slid into her easily and began to
move. Sam felt the hardened tips of her breasts move over the jagged
skin. When her hand moved over the left scar and Selena simply moaned.  She
watched Selena's brown eyes flutter close.

When she came Sam pressed her cheek to her chest. Her arm wrapped around
Selena's shoulder firmly as she kissed and caressed every last ounce of
pleasure from her body.

"It's a good thing we're back together," Selena said over an hour later.

"Why's that?"

"I really miss that jerked chicken." Sam burst out laughing. Selena smiled
as she felt her chest shake with laughter. "When can we get back to visit
home?"

She smiled into the ceiling at the ease she said the last word. Home.  It
was home for the both of them now. "As soon as you can get free baby."


The end.

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