Date: Sat, 11 Jun 2005 20:38:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: EV <lady_vader21@yahoo.com>
Subject: The O.C.'s Alex and Julie Affair (part 3 of 3)

Title: The O.C.'s Alex and Julie Affair (Part 3:
Moving On)
Author: Rhonda Weasley
Pairing: Alex/Julie, Alex/Marissa
Rating: NC-17
Setting: set around "The Blaze of Glory" (I think that
was the end of their relationship)
Summary: Relationships end and it's always such a sad
and depressing time, but that doesn't mean it can't be
hot. Picking up where Forbidden Fruit left off (and
mixing in material from the show), Julie is still on a
mission to get her daughter home, Alex and Marissa are
having problems, and (most important) Julie and Alex
are still secretly hot for each other and it's getting
more complicated every day.
WARNING: Mature content. Contains graphic love scenes
between females. If this disturbs you or isn't suited
to your taste, stop here, do not read. If it's in
anyway illegal for you to read, turn away, do not
read. Oh yeah, and if incest bothers you then you
might be very bothered by some elements of the story.
It's slightly implied in some parts.
Disclaimer: The O.C. and it's characters are copyright
FOX and Josh Swartz


It took forever, but I present to you, the last part
of the affair....


~~~~~

It should have felt wonderful, Marissa beneath her
begging for more. Enjoying every moment of their
lovemaking. Screaming...

"Please Alex, oh yes, oh fuck yes."

But instead these words cut like a knife. In response,
the strokes of her strap-on came harder and faster. It
was almost violent and she wanted to stop herself. She
had to be hurting Marissa as she'd lost all control,
but Marissa seemed to like it that way.

"Oh god, oh god, I'm--"

But she never finished as the intense wave of her
orgasm swept over her. Alex held Marissa close to her
as her orgasm overcame her. And she kissed her softly
all over her face as the wave of her orgasm slipped
away. The kisses were almost an apology for being so
rough.

"Why didn't we try that before?" Marissa asked.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it," Alex said in
reply.

It was a lie, but she couldn't tell her the truth. The
truth was she had never even though of incorporating a
strap on in her sex life until Julie. She never saw
the point of a fake phallus when two women could
please each other quite well without it. If you want
to be with a woman, be with one was her motto. She
hadn't realized the toys could be a fun bit of extra
every once in awhile. Still, she'd never imagined a
completely feminine woman like Julie would enjoy the
sexual domination of being on the controlling end of
anal sex. But Julie wasn't a Lesbian, she was just out
for her own pleasure (which would have only been a
problem if they were considering a relationship, they
weren't). Maybe, Alex thought, she had spent too much
time with Lesbians who had their own rules about the
way things were 'suppose to be'. Maybe, she thought, a
woman like Julie Cooper, someone outside all those
trappings, had it right (just a little bit). Just to
go with what you feel.

And she had a feeling Marissa might enjoy a little
experimentation with a dildo. Unlike Julie, she didn't
spring it on her in the heat of the moment; she
discussed the possibility first. Marissa seemed a
little scared when Alex first brought it up in bed,
but while she was shy that night, the next morning was
a different story. She soon got excited wondering what
it would feel like by comparison to the 'real thing'.
By the next night, she was more than willing to try
it. Alex had insisted she come shopping with her for
one.

Marissa wasn't quite prepared for the shock of the sex
shop. She was taken aback by the assortment of
available items. But after awhile and a few jokes from
Alex, she was a bit more relaxed. She was shocked to
see a hetero couple browsing the dildos.

"Think you'd like this one up your ass," the woman
asked openly of her male partner, rubbing his butt as
she did so.

"Oh yeah," he said in reply. "I'm stretched just
enough that it will fit perfectly."

Marissa nearly dropped the dildo she was holding. She
had been reluctant to pick it up in the first place
and now she wanted to go. But Alex said:

"Marissa relax, different people enjoy different
things."

And she kissed her, relaxing her a bit. Nervously,
Marissa finally settled on a flesh colored dildo of
about an average 8 inch length, but very thick. It was
quite realistic, down to the veins in the shaft. Alex
was hoping for something a bit more colorful.
Something disturbed her about Marissa's preference for
the flesh colored toy. But they bought it along with
the required "harness" to make the night complete

That day, while Marissa was away at school, Alex
planned a perfect evening to try out their toy. She
cleaned the apartment, cooked dinner for them (okay
heated dinner for them, she bought it from a local
place). And decorated the bedroom with scented candles
and placed rose petals on the bed. The perfect
setting, far more perfect than the one she had with
Julie. That had to yield a more ideal evening right?

When Marissa got home she was quite surprised but
pleased. She showed her gratitude by giving Alex a
long kiss that was almost had Alex wanting to go over
the edge prematurely. But she held back, intent on her
perfect evening. Dinner was lovely, conversation
wonderful.

After dinner, Alex took Marissa to the bathroom, were
she bathed her thoroughly and tried to resist the urge
to do more to her. But seeing her with her head tilted
back in comfortable ecstasy as she was bathed was too
much. She stole a kiss and Marissa hungrily accepted
it, with far more passion than Alex had expected. The
intensity of their kisses had really fallen off since
they'd moved in together.

Already the night was looking up. Alex escorted her to
the bedroom. She laid her on the bed, undressed, and
then tasted every inch of Marissa's body. She started
at her head, kissing her temple, cheeks, and neck.
Then traveled down the valley between her breast,
before taking a nice long drag one her nipples. She
dropped kisses all along her beautiful flat tummy.
Then down her thighs. Even as the strong odor of her
aching sex reached her, she resisted going there yet.
She went lower still, sucking on other woman's toes,
something she'd never done before. Marissa giggled at
first, but then moaned a bit. Especially as Alex's
fingers found her leaking center. She wanted to taste
her so badly, but she knew that she would never be
permitted to kiss her if she did. So she kissed her
lips instead, while her fingers continued to explore
Marissa's love canal.

Alex kissed her neck, her lips; everywhere her lips
could reach above the neck as she moved masterfully
inside her. She had forgotten about the toy they had
purchased together, she was so lost in the intimacy of
her connection to Marissa. She felt her body tense up
and release. And they kissed again. And Alex was happy
and quite wet and hoping for a just a little
reciprocation when Marissa said, "We gonna try it
now." It was only then Alex remembered the strap-on.

Marissa helped her put it on, giggling and slightly
giddy as they got her all strapped up.

"How do you want to do this?" Alex asked, not quite as
good as playing the power position as Julie was. In
fact, she felt quite awkward at the moment.

Marissa didn't say anything, just laid back on the bed
and opened her legs.

"Let's be a little bit more bolder than missionary,"
Alex said leaning over her. "Why don't you ride me?"

Even though Julie had never said those words, she
suddenly felt like she was doing her best to imitate
her.  Alex laid down and Marissa cautiously straddled
her legs. The rubber toy was sitting up proudly
between Alex's legs. Marissa looked intimidated by it.
She was still wrapping her mind around the reality of
her female lover sporting a phallus.

"This is weird," Marissa said.

"You don't want to..."

"No, I do," Marissa said.

Alex reached over and put Marissa's hands on her
breast. Marissa cautiously began to caress them. Then
Marissa leaned over and kissed her. Then she carefully
began to position herself over the rubber dick. She
seemed to be afraid at first (it wasn't like she had
done this a lot). But eventually she lowered herself
on and took it in slowly. Suddenly she realized she
was in, the faux phallus deep inside her.

"This is weird," she said again, but began to ride the
toy anyway. After a few strokes, she became bolder,
impaling herself on the faux rod even harder and
closing her eyes and moaning. Caressing her own breast
as she moved against it.

"Wow this feels good," Marissa finally said.

But Alex was feeling like she had very little to do
with it, beyond wearing the thing. Not that she wasn't
turned on by the site before her, but she wanted to
feel like she was pleasing Marissa. Watching Marissa
(eyes closed) so pleased to have a dick inside her
disturbed her. So she grabbed her and began taking
control of her movements by directing her hips, she
wanted her to feel her touch, but that wasn't enough
either. So she flipped her over (Marissa shrieked and
then giggled) and then began to take control of the
strokes.

"Open your eyes," she said, for a second she shuddered
because to her own ears she was now sounding like
Julie. But somehow that thought turned her on and she
hated that, because this night was suppose to be about
driving Julie out of her mind. But she forgot that in
the face of her determination for Marissa to feel her.
So she met her lovers eyes with this intense gaze as
she feed the girl's hungry pussy. And as much as she
loved that pussy, she hated that the pussy hungry for
cock. Not that the pussy knew any different, it had a
cock so it was happy. And her own pussy, turned on
despite it's anger, drove its power through the cock
buried into Marissa. And what was at first intended to
be slow and delicate lovemaking was turning into a
rage fuck.

It was only now, in the aftermath, Alex realized the
mistake in her thought process from the moment she
introduced the possibility of a faux cock into their
sex life. The fact was, unlike Julie, her motivation
hadn't been pleasure, for herself or Marissa, it had
been to prove to Marissa she could do anything that
asshole Ryan Atwood could do.

~~~~~

It had been a distracting week at school. The strap-on
had been a very new experience for her. She wondered
what it would feel like by comparison. And the truth
was, Alex was way better with the "toy" than Luke had
been with the real thing. Heck, Alex was better
without the aid of a toy. If only Marissa could voice
these things.

Marissa was half-afraid of being bolder sexually. For
one, she didn't want to fail as a lover. Something
Alex had said a million times she couldn't do, but
that was hard for her to believe. She adored Alex and
was happy to please her, but she was quite
intimidated. And second, part of her was afraid of
liking it too much because an itty-bitty part of her
still felt attached to Ryan. And a itty-bitty part of
her didn't want to admit complete and total
exhilaration with a female lover.  Ryan was her first
real love and she didn't want to let go of that yet.
She didn't know if Alex could understand that, so she
didn't talk about it. Yes, Alex admitted to being bi,
to enjoying sex with either and feeling fulfilled
(even though she admitted she's never quite
emotionally 'loved' men the way she 'loved' women).
And Marissa adored Alex, but she wasn't ready to be
different. Especially not now that two of her best
friends (Seth and Summer) were back together. She felt
the desire to fall back into that comfortable space of
her and Ryan together, if only because in High School
it was easier that way. She was sure a few of the kids
at Harbor knew she had a girlfriend and even though
she hadn't been persecuted for it, she received the
occasional stare when she drove up with Alex or they
were seen together at the local hangout known as the
Bait Shop.

There were times she forgot about them. Last week a
band had been playing the Bait Shop. Alex had taken
Marissa on the dance floor and they had gotten quite
entranced in the dancing with each other. It was like
they were home alone and no one else was around, but
when the song ended, a very scary looking woman had
winked at her and a guy had stuck his tongue out
between his parted fingers and wiggled it. It made her
uncomfortable and she started some idiotic
conversation with Alex that killed the intensity of
the situation.

True, she had been rebelling forever, it seemed, but
there were days where she felt overwhelmed with Alex,
like she wasn't ready. Like she was still a child
ready to run scared. And she didn't want to do that,
but the urge to do so wasn't going away.

Alex must have felt it too; she seemed to pull away a
bit after their incredible night together. She found
reasons to be working whenever it was possible to
avoid her. She was drinking at odd hours of the day
(not that she could exactly judge her for that) and
was only playing at happy 90% of the time. And they
weren't having sex. But Marissa wasn't brave enough to
bring that up.

She needed a distraction and one conveniently arrived
soon after. Marissa had barely been to school the last
couple weeks, so she was shocked when they still
wanted her involved in the pep rally Bonfire project
-- let alone in charge of it. But she was glad too do
it. She supposed this was a chance to try to prove to
herself she could be responsible and it distracted her
from her growing problems with Alex and their sexual
frustrations. It didn't help that her mother was
calling every two seconds to try to convince her to
come home. You think after 20 rejected calls she'd get
that it wasn't working.

It was after one of these calls that Seth convinced
her to talk to Ryan about helping with the bonfire.
She wasn't exactly sure this was the best idea, but
her defenses were down and she wanted the help. While
Ryan would have been last on her list last year,
despite being the sole object of her affection, she
had seen him mature this year. And they were
friends... they never actually stopped being friends
despite some bad moments. So she agreed to ask him
and, when she asked, he agreed to help. But she hadn't
thought about how Alex might see it...but Alex did the
second she called her and heard about it.



~~~~~~~~

Alex missed the way the worlds use to just die out
when she and Marissa were together. She missed the way
she use to respond eagerly to her calls and how glad
she was just to stop by and sit and talk with her for
hours and hours. And she regretted ever experimenting
with her and the dildo. And what she hated was that
she hadn't felt this insecure with Julie. When Julie
was inside her, connecting with her through the fake
phallus, it just felt like an aid to their pleasure --
an extension of Julie's own desire. It was hot, it was
amazing, and it was no more or less than the actions
of two people who wanted nothing more than to please
each other.

But it felt different with Marissa, like she really
did want the real thing inside her, like she never
would be completely happy with just her. It didn't
help that every time she went to the school, she saw
Marissa laughing and hanging out with that damn Ryan
Atwood!! Okay Seth and Summer were there too, but they
weren't exs; she didn't have a mini-shrine to her
relationships with them in her bedroom at home (at
home at the Caleb mansion that is). She had no
intention of ever using the faux penis again. Not with
Marissa anyway... Julie. She kept wanting to just see
her and fuck the shit out of her one more time, if
only to bury the growing pain in her heart.  Lust was
easier than the hurt of love, much easier. Then she
hated herself for the thought. Because whatever had
drawn Julie to her had obviously faded, she hadn't
spoken to her since and Alex refused to seek her out
and admit all she wanted to do was climb into bed with
her again and lock out the world.

It was then she knew she was not only in danger of
losing the girl she loved, she was in danger of
falling far too easily into Julie's game again. She
was partially relieved that the temptation was gone.


~~~~~

But Julie hadn't forgotten Alex at all. She just had
to focus on the problem at hand -- Lance. For the
moment, there was nothing to be done about Marissa.
Even though she was hell bent on separating Alex from
her daughter, that jerk Lance was putting pressure on
her about this porno. There was no choice, she needed
help with this and she didn't think anyone could help
but him... Sandy Cohen. He must have been Superman in
another life, because he had a weakness for the
downtrodden. And just as she thought, when she left
the office that day he was understanding enough about
her problem that he was willing to help her out. And
the truth was, deep down she was being sincere with
Sandy. She hadn't really spent a lot of personal time
with Sandy, but they seemed to connect as parents. He
understood why she didn't want her children to know.
The last thing Marissa needed was something else to
hate her for; it would kill any possibility of her
coming home.

Although, at this point, she wondered what Marissa
would rate worse. The fact that her mother had done a
porn movie or the fact that she had fucked her
girlfriend in ways Marissa wouldn't even dream of.
Perhaps this is what drove her to drop by Alex's
place. She was shocked when Marissa answered the door
and she seemed to be alone. But she was happy to see
her; Marissa was her first baby after all. Though it
was hard to see that chubby baby in what was now a
beautiful young woman. She smiled at her, but Marissa
didn't smile back.

"What?" she said annoyed.

"Well it's nice to see you too sweetie," Julie replied
and then started to enter, but Marissa put up a hand
to stop her.

"Whoa, hello, I haven't been vaccinated. What do you
want?"

"Well I thought that we could talk, face-to-face. May
I come in?'

"No," Marissa replied quickly.

Julie knew the defiance was building in Marissa from
her tone of voice. She'd dealt with too many spoiled
brat moments to not recognize the signs. But she could
be as hard headed as Marissa; she was going to talk
some sense into her if it killed her.

"Don't you think you're taking this a little too far?
Do you enjoy living in squalor?"

"Well you and Caleb don't live her, so it can't be
that disgusting."

"I could make you come home."

"What are you going to do, call the cops? I'd love to
tell them all about you."

Julie so had the urge to give her a spanking right
now.

"I could take away your credit cards," Julie said.

"I'll get a job," Marissa snapped back.

"You?" Julie scoffed "Doing what?"

"Or maybe I'll just steal, you know I'm really good at
that."

Julie sighed; this was getting them nowhere. She gave
one last heartfelt plea for Marissa to come home, but
she slammed the door in her face. Julie didn't want to
leave, but she had no idea what she could say to get
Marissa home. There was far too much going on in her
life right now. Between Lance and the tape, Marissa
and her hard head, and her own distracting obsession
with Marissa's girlfriend *sigh*. She needed to focus,
to think, Sandy was handling the Lance situation and
the only way to improve the Alex situation was to get
Marissa home. So she would have to keep focus on
Marissa.


But Alex was thinking the same thing, focus on
Marissa. So she went to see Seth. Seth was suppose to
be her friend after all and Marissa was one of his
closest friends, so if anyone could help her figure
out this situation he could. As far as she knew, he
was cool with them being together. Beyond being his
usual silly self, he seemed happy for them. He may not
have been the most fulfilling boyfriend she ever had
(not that any of them really were) but he was suppose
to be her friend, they'd been better friends than
lovers anyway. When she stopped by, it took a minute
for her to get him serious and beyond the schoolboy
fantasy talk and when he did, he let it slip about
Marissa and Ryan's snuggle session in a tent during
their Mall escapades. It seemed to confirm her worse
fears. She needed a drink; she needed a lot of them.

And she had a lot of them, when she came home to Ryan
and Marissa hugging in front of her place, the place
she shared with Marissa, she felt like their haven was
soiled by his presence, and she lost it as Marissa
slipped inside. She threw a beer can at Ryan, shoved
him, and threatened him. Things she had never done
before. But it wasn't just Marissa's sexual confusion
that had her wound so tight, it wasn't just the hurt
of knowing the one you love was in love with someone
else, it was also her own guilt and confusion over the
fact she too had cheated and she had loved every
minute of it. So, aided by alcohol, she took all the
anger on Ryan. She was surprised she found the resolve
to walk away because she wanted to smash his face in.
But she didn't have enough beer in her to make her go
totally insane.

Marissa was playing at sleep on the couch when she got
in and she was too angry to wake her. She slept in the
bedroom alone. And unfortunately, her dreams were
filled with thoughts of Marissa and Ryan getting
friendly in a tent. The last thing she wanted to think
about. So even without the aid of drinks to make it
worse, she woke up in the same bad mood she went to
sleep with and confronted Marissa on the new
information. A part of her felt really guilty after,
she had cheated on Marissa twice after all. But the
thing was, she didn't love Julie... it was just sex.
Marissa and Ryan had been in love, Ryan had her heart.
It was bigger than the physical absence of a man, it
was the possibility that Alex had fallen for someone
who belong heart and soul to someone else. That this
had all been a lie, that every moment of happiness she
had with Marissa had been an illusion, just something
Marissa did to kill time before she was back together
with Ryan. And that's what killed her inside.

After the confrontation with Marissa, she went in the
bedroom and laid on her bed. She fought tears, but
they wouldn't stay back. Then she felt a warm body
behind her.

"I'm sorry," Marissa whispered

"I am too," Alex said.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Marissa
replied and kissed her shoulder gently.

Alex rolled over and they shared a long intimate kiss.
Marissa rolled her shirt away and gently caressed her
breast and then tasted them. Her hand moved slowly
down the other woman's body and found her aching
vagina. It was hungry for her fingers; hungry for the
love they would show her. And those fingers made love
to her. They slipped inside and met the strokes of her
hips until she screamed out in pleasure.

And even though it was beautiful, it felt like
good-bye.


And it was, because the next day Sandy made a
suggestion to Julie that changed the playing field.
Sandy had told Julie that maybe it wasn't the message,
but the messenger that made the difference. So she
knew exactly who to consult, Ryan. If anyone could
convince Marissa to come home, it was Ryan. Of course,
seeing as they weren't exactly the best of friends, it
was hard convincing him that her motives were genuine.
And they were genuine, she did think Marissa was way
over her head in this relationship with Alex and doing
it for all the wrong reasons. Despite the benefits to
her if Alex was free of Marissa, in the end it was
about Marissa. And Ryan understood that.


But Alex didn't, at least not from the Julie
perspective.

Alex was quite depressed despite the lovemaking she
had recently shared with Marissa. As much as she loved
her, she'd honestly seen it ending badly from the
beginning. Maybe she should have stuck to that rule
about staying away from straight girls.

She was still nursing an increasingly bad mood with
the liquor bottle when Ryan arrived at her door. And
not only did he dare ask for Marissa, he pushed past
her into the apartment like she didn't matter.

And then he had the nerve to say... "It's not about
me, I'm here cause of her mom!"

"What?" Alex replied angrily "You and Julie Cooper a
team now?"

"Yeah," he said casually, still acting as if she and
the wall had blended.

And he then ignored her warning to stay away from
Marissa as if she didn't matter and she hated him even
more for it as he walked out the door. Not only was
she really pissed, she felt like a fool. She knew she
didn't love Julie Cooper and that Julie didn't love
her, but she thought they understood each other just a
little. Yet she had employed Ryan to pursue Marissa,
to destroy their relationship, to break her heart. She
felt used and she felt hurt and perhaps that's why she
did what she did....


The bonfire was going, the harbor kids were excited,
and here came Alex with two guys she knew. Two big
guys with loads of muscle. And Ryan knew they were
there with the intent of using that muscle on him as
soon as he saw here. Ryan suddenly looked scared. He
brushed off her previous threats like they were coming
from a little girl, so she felt quite satisfied that
he was intimidated by the muscle. Until she saw the
horrified look on her girlfriend's face that is. She
loved her too much to enjoy Ryan's intimidation
anymore. And when she dragged her off to talk, she
knew there was no salvaging their relationship. The
end she dreaded from the beginning had arrived.


~~~~~~~~~


Marissa was finally curled up in her bed at home.
Julie was so glad to see her come through the door,
she almost forgot that she had a conversation coming
with Caleb that she really didn't want to have. When
she came home they hadn't said anything to each other,
Marissa just came in with a box under her arm and
headed up to her room. Caleb started to speak, but a
look from Julie told him to let it go. He was so her
puppet. She really didn't want to have to focus on him
when something much better was awaiting her, but had
no choice but to go to bed with him. Luckily, it was
easy to wear Caleb out and he was sleeping soundly
within a couple hours.

Julie grabbed something she hardly ever wore, sweats,
and headed out the door. She couldn't get to Alex's
place fast enough. She was shocked to see her packing
boxes into her car. Maybe they were things of
Marissa's she had left behind.

Alex turned around as Julie pulled in beside her car.
Julie noticed tears were in Alex's eyes and a part of
her felt guilty for her part in the breakup, but it
had to be done. It was the only way.

"Mrs. --- Julie, what are you doing here?" Alex said
trying to wipe the tears away. She was not going to be
broken down in front of this woman, she wasn't going
to be vulnerable.

"I know it's over," Julie said. Alex searched for a
sign of gloating in this statement, but there was
none.

"Of course you do. You wanted him to break us up and I
played right into it," Alex said.  Then her gaze met
Julie's and Julie hated the hurt in her eyes, the
accusation in her gaze. "You got what you want,
everything you wanted. You had your own lesbian
fantasies fulfilled and saved your daughter from it at
the same time." She paused, trying again to fight on
onslaught of tears that would not be held back. "I
loved Marissa so much. I would have done anything to
make her happy, but you didn't think I could so you
made sure that I didn't."

Alex turned to go back inside, still fighting the urge
to show any weakness. Julie followed her to the
doorway and grabbed her arm.

"I can't control Marissa's feelings for Ryan," Julie
said.

"No, you can't. But I don't have to watch it happen.
I'm gone."

"What do you mean your gone?" Julie asked.

"I'm leaving," she said breaking away from her. The
last thing she wanted right now was Julie touching
her. "No big deal, I've done it before."

"I don't want you to leave!"

"Why? You want another fuck? Is that what you're
after? Well let's get it over then. Come on."

Alex started to pull off her shirt right there, but
Julie stopped her. Against her attempts to do
otherwise, the tears started falling again. And as
they began to fall, Julie pulled her into a hug. And
it was weird. Up to this point, their physical
interaction had been about sex and just about sex. No
more, no less. Despite the fact she had shared moments
of sincerity with her, she found it hard to believe
she was any more than a novelty fuck to Julie
Cooper-Nichol. She pulled away a little, trying to
reject her comfort even though deep in her heart she
wanted to accept it. But Julie held her tight and Alex
suddenly realized she was wearing clothing that seemed
to have been thrown on a hurry. And she hadn't given
her face the usual full facial make-over. She'd rushed
over here to see her without completely grooming
herself to the usual standards of high-class
perfection. But why? Why had she abandoned the Julie
standard? Was it really possible she felt something
more than lust?

And then something else weird happened, Julie kissed
her. And it wasn't so weird that she kissed her (she'd
kissed her quite a lot at that point) but for the
first time the kiss wasn't about the intent to have
sex. It was a soft and delicate dance with each
other's lips. There was nothing demanding or
controlling or dominating about it, it was just ...
beautiful. There was no other word for the sweet
tenderness of it. And this element of this kiss scared
her more than their past encounters because she had
only recently felt this way with Marissa. When she'd
kissed Julie before, it wasn't about emotional
intimacy. It had one intent, but that usual intent was
fading into something more intense and more
significant.

When their lips parted, it was Julie who spoke first.

"I don't want this to end," she said.

"What does that mean?"

"I have connections. I can get you a better place than
this, a better job, a better..."

Suddenly Alex realized her motivations and pushed her
away. "You can't buy me!" she yelled going through her
door. After a look around, Julie followed her in and
shut the door.

"It always comes back to money with you doesn't it?"
Alex asked. She couldn't believe Julie looked
offended.

"I just made you a pretty decent offer!" Julie yelled.
"I just wanted to set you up with something better....
than this."

"As what? Your mistress? Your whore? I don't want
that, in fact, I'm headed back home to try to work on
it with my parents, maybe go to school. Figure out
what it is I do want."

"High School? You're thinking about going back to High
School?"

"Yeah, have you forgotten? I'm your daughter's age?"

"I haven't forgotten, it's just... you're years away
from where she is, so it's hard to see you as the
same. You're more like I had to be, resourceful,
independent."

"Independent? You live off a rich, older man. And if I
get the fancy house and cars and clothes one day, all
that stuff you value, all that stuff you want Marissa
to come home to, it will be because I worked hard to
get there. Not because I married rich and leeched off
my husband."

"For your information, I have worked hard in my life.
I've done things I'll regret for the rest of my life,
just to put food on the table another night. So when I
finally got that better life, yeah, I treasured it, I
held on to it, I wasn't going to let it go. Because I
know what it's like to not have it, I know the worse
of not having it and I'm not going to give it up
without a fight. Hate me for it if you must, but you
have no idea what I've been through to get here. And
even though it made me stronger, I don't want my
daughters to know that life at all. I want better for
them, without the struggle I had to go through."

"Then why are you so hard on people like me and Ryan
and DJ?"

"What do you care about Ryan and DJ?"

"I don't, I barely know Ryan and I really don't even
like him. And I never met DJ, but what I get from
Marissa is that every time she gets involved with
someone who's not a part of your ideal 'Newport' life,
you want to get rid of them."

"And that's exactly why she dates them, because it
pisses me off. It has nothing to do with her falling
in love."

"Oh yeah, then why, all of a sudden, was it real love
between Marissa and Ryan when she got with me? I think
the only reason you like Ryan right now is that he's
lived with the Cohens long enough for you to think of
him as their son. He's a part of the `right family'
now, he goes to the 'right school', he has the 'right
group of friends', so it's okay for her to love him,
especially when the other choice is me. And, to tell
the truth, I don't think you really give a shit about
where I'm from, with me it all comes down to what's
between my legs, doesn't it? Funny... you seem to
enjoy it."

"Don't make assumptions, Alex. After Marissa told me,
I was shocked. She's been pretty boy crazy since 12
after all. But when she came home, I was willing to
not fight her on this. I was willing to wait it out
and..."

"Wait it out?"

"I'm sorry Alex, but I didn't think it would last.
I've seen Marissa get new toys and get bored with them
so much, I can identify the pattern. But I would have
let you two be if Marissa hadn't gone brat on me and
moved out the house. She wasn't ready for that, her
attendance at school proves that. When it was good
between you she hardly went and when it got a little
shaky, all she did was run away in the first available
escape, the school. Now don't get me wrong, I want her
in school. But that doesn't change the fact that
moving in with you was just another way of throwing a
tantrum. Tell me I'm wrong."

Alex didn't say anything.

"I know you love her, but what you saw as a serious
relationship was just another one of Marissa's escape
tactics, another one of her temper tantrums, another
one of her attempts to piss off mom."

Alex slid down on the couch. The truth of Julie's
words ringing in her ears. She didn't want to hear
them, but she knew they were true. Julie kneeled down
in front of her. She reached up and cupped her face
between her hands.

"Don't leave," she said softly.

"What do you want? Why are you here?"

"I just," Julie told her. "I wanted to be with you.
It's insane. From the moment she moved out, all I
wanted was my daughter back home. And the second she
got there, all I could think about was coming here to
be with you."

"So you were looking for another fuck?"

"No, I just wanted to be near you."

Then Julie's lips met Alex's in another tender kiss
and once again Alex was flooded with the scary and
exhilarating possibility that Julie had real feelings
for her.


.... And they had been so invested in each other in
these last few moments, neither had noticed the door
was currently cracked. And someone was standing there
appalled... Marissa. She had returned for a bracelet
her dad had given her and heard 'Why are you here?'.
She froze a second in the cracked doorway, wondering
if she should interrupt whoever was in there with
Alex. Then she heard her mother's reply. She was all
set to barge in and defend Alex from whatever was
coming when she heard 'I just wanted to be near you.'
This shocked her enough, but then she heard 'So you
were looking for another fuck?' (Another fuck? They'd
had sex before?). At that moment, disgust should have
made her walk away or outrage should have made her
burst through the door. Instead, she peaked inside and
saw Alex sitting on the couch with her mother on her
knees between Alex's legs. And they were leaning
toward each other and then, they kissed. Marissa
wondered how many times they had kissed before? How
many times had it gone further than kissing?

She pulled away from the doorway trying to wrap her
head around what she saw. First her boyfriend and then
her girlfriend, what was wrong with her mother? Was
Ryan next? Her head was spinning so fast, she didn't
know what to do. She and Alex had broken up, but from
what she heard this had happened at least once while
they were together. Should she burst in there and call
them on it? But something in her wouldn't let her.
There was something about that kissed that disturbed
her, something was far too genuine about it. It was
far more genuine than any kiss she'd seen her mother
share with Caleb (ewwww!) and far too close to being
as genuine as the kisses her mothers use to share with
her father. Still, after all she'd put her through
about it, her mother was now in there kissing her
girlfriend.

Marissa turned back toward the door, prepared to barge
in, but things had progressed since she'd turned away.
They were now laying on the couch, her mother on top
of Alex, kissing her far more intensely than before.
How long could she stand here, she didn't think she
could stand here much longer with Julie moving even
lower on Alex's body, sliding off her pants, parting
her ex's legs, she was actually going to... Marissa
tore her eyes away. She couldn't watch this. But she
couldn't find the strength to leave or enter. She took
another involuntary peek. Her mother was now down to
her underwear and in-between Alex's legs, a place
Marissa's mouth had been unwilling to wander.

"I love the smell of you," her mother said burying her
nose in Alex's pussy. "And the taste of you," She
suckled hungrily at her pussy.

Alex began to moan as Julie fed hungrily at her vagina
and Marissa felt herself involuntarily getting wet
watching. She again faded away from the door to stop
herself from watching. It was sickening. She was
enjoying watching her mother and her ex-girlfriend
have sex. She was now too embarrassed to admit she saw
anything tonight. Her bracelet would be there in the
morning. So she reluctantly left the scene, trying to
forget it had ever happened.


Inside the apartment, Julie and Alex were none the
wiser. Julie was still lovingly driving Alex wild with
Oral pleasure and when she thought she would burst
from the pleasure of it all, it rolled like a wave out
of her.

Julie crawled on top her and greeted her with a kiss
again. A long, drawn out, intimate exchange.

"I love the taste of you," she whispered in her ear
when their lips parted. "I love being a part of you."

Alex was so heated now, she just wanted to make love
to Julie all night.

Alex got up off the couch and led her to the bedroom.
They kissed again and then laid on the bed beside her.
She traced all the curves of her body with her finger
and decided suddenly she wanted to fill her as she had
never been filled before. She didn't know if she could
pull it off, but she was going to try it anyway.

She kissed down Julie's body, stopping to feed at the
delicious pussy for awhile. She had no doubts about
this pussy. It wanted her and nothing else. She fed
two of her fingers into the pussy and it accepted them
willingly. Julie moaned and begged for more. One more
finger was added. They moved slowly inside. Julie was
still grasping her, moaning, and feeling nothing but
pleasure. She heard what she was going to attempt was
easier to accomplish with women who had children, she
hoped it was true. She suddenly wanted this more than
she wanted anything. She positioned her fourth finger
and thumb to enter her lover and when all those
didgets made a move towards her vaginal wall, Julie
gasped.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

"Just relax," Alex said kissing her. "And trust me."

"Fisting?"

"So you've heard of it?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if I can handle it."

"You're almost there. If we get there, won't it be
worth it?"

Julie smiled and pulled her face to her. She gave her
a deep kiss. They kissed while Alex's entire hand
slowly made room for itself inside her lover. Julie
grunted with discomfort a bit, but allowed her body to
relax and adjust to the new invasion. And when Alex's
hand was fully inside her, she was amazed at the
feeling of fullness. Alex remained still at first,
allowing her lover's body to fully adjust to the
fullness.

"Oh my lord this is incredible," Julie said sitting up
and looking at the fist buried inside of her. "I can't
believe you're inside of me like this."

"Are you ready for more?" Alex asked.

"I'm ready for anything you want to give me, baby,"
Julie replied.

But was she? She wasn't sure. This had come as a
surprise after all. She was use to a little more
control over what happened between them. Alex started
to move inside her and it was one of the most
incredible sensations of her life. She tried to savor
it, but she had no control over the ripples of
pleasure now ripping through her body. her inner wall
was being stimulated in a whole new way. And just when
she thought nothing could feel better than this, Alex
leaned down and began to flick her tongue across the
older woman's clit. Then she sucked on her love button
driving her positively insane with pleasure.

"Oh got damn fuck," Julie said tensed up just before a
shockwave seemed to rip through her whole body. It was
the strongest Orgasm she'd ever had. Alex continued to
toy with her clit as Julie's body rippled with
aftershocks, something that had never happened before.
Alex's fist slipped free of her body. She missed her
presence the moment it was gone. Julie breathed hard,
her heart racing. She'd never cum like that and she
had a feeling she never would again. When she was done
licking and sucking at the juicing cunt, Alex laid
beside her and Julie claimed her lips, lips that were
seeped in the taste of her own juices.

"You are incredible," Julie said when she regain the
ability to speak. She was too exhausted to say
anymore. She could only lay still, holding onto Alex.
And they laid there for a long time saying nothing.
Somehow, even though it wasn't her intention, Julie
drifted off to sleep.



She awoke with a start an hour later, alone in bed.
Everything that happened rushed back into her head and
all she wanted was to see her lover again, but she was
no where to be found. Then she heard water running and
realized she hadn't gone. It was then that she noticed
a strap-on laying on the bedside table. It had been
sitting there since Alex's night of experimentation
with Marissa. But not knowing this, Julie wondered.
Had this toy been inside Marissa or Alex or both? She
got up and tried it on. It weighed much less than the
one she had used. She'd disposed of hers, afraid of
having to explain it to her husband. Especially since
she now HAD to confess about the porno she'd done. But
she then dismissed Caleb and Lance from her mind.
Right now, in this moment, all she wanted to think
about was Alex.

She heard her coming and Julie got back in bed,
covering up the toy with a sheet. Alex walked into the
bedroom smiling. Turning out Julie so thoroughly she
had passed out had made her feel much better. She
somehow knew no one, man or woman, would ever be able
to compete with that first fisting she had given her

"Hey beautiful," Alex said walking over to Julie as
she sat on the side of the bed.

"What time is it?"

"Like 1:00 in the morning. Why? You got somewhere to
be?"

"Yeah, inside you."

She pulled her down on the bed and kissed her
thoroughly, there nipples bumping against each other
in there own sort of dance. Alex knocked away the
sheet and saw she was wearing the fake Phallus.

"Why do you have that on?" She asked, slightly
disappointed.

"I don't know, just felt like it. Why?"

"That killed me with Marissa."

"How?"

"I don't know, when I wore it... it just felt like it
wasn't about us. It was like she was just missing
cock, so I tried to be something I wasn't."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's really weird. With me and you it was soooo
fulfilling."

"That's good to know," Julie said allowing her fingers
to dance across the younger woman's body. "Because I
love your ass and your pussy and your breast. I love
everything that makes you you. This little rubber toy
is just that, a toy. I don't need it to be fulfilled
with you"

"I know that. But with her... "

"Tell me..."

"We had a wonderful night," Alex began as Julie
started to suck on her breast. She sighed a little an
continued. "I bathed her. She loved it. We kissed
passionately and came back to the bedroom." Alex
paused again as a another pleased sigh escaped her
lips. "Damn you have a skilled mouth."

"Tell me more about you and Marissa."

She should have thought it weird Julie wanted to hear
this, but she was turning a memory she had mixed
feelings about into something very pleasant.

"All my effort to make a romantic evening were working
out well, she was quite ready for lovemaking when we
reached the bedroom, I kissed her from head to toe,
literally. I avoided the pussy though, as appealing as
it was she wouldn't kiss me if I tasted her, so I
didn't."

In response, Julie moved lower on her and kissed her
vagina thoroughly, she moaned it was hard to find her
place in the story.

"Continue," she said.

"Damn, where was I. Oh yeah, I kissed her lips as my
fingers entered her driving her...oh damn," Alex said
unable to continue at that moment. "She loved ridding
my fingers, she juiced, I'd forgotten about the toy,
but she hadn't. She asked for it. That fleshy toy that
looked like the real...ahhh ahh," she couldn't talk
anymore as a little mini orgasam rippled through her.

"I want to hear about you entering her," Julie
whispered.

Alex spoke again. "She decided to ride me." As she
said this, Julie spread her wide enough to get into
position at her door.  "She was cautious at first."
But Julie wasn't, She began to move into her pussy. "I
felt her thighs against mine, but it felt like she was
controlling the cock inside her, but I wanted to be
the one in control. First I tired to control her hips
but that wasn't enough. I turned her over and began to
fuck her as hard as I could willing her to
feel...meeeee... oh damn," Julie had now increased the
intensity of her strokes in response to the story. She
was shoving in and out her wildly. Julie kissed her
and didn't demand that the story continue. Julie still
tasted like the sex she had fed on when she had
lovingly kissed her lower lips.

Their breasts were smashed together as Julie continued
here intense ride inside. All Alex could do was
exclaim her pleasure. She grabbed the back of the
strap-on's harness pulling the strap between Julie's
legs and causing more stimulation of her clit. They
were both moaning now and bucking wildly. They came in
succession and remained exhausted and entwined for a
few minutes after.

Julie detached the strap on and laid with Alex. Her
leg wrapped around one of Alex's. After a few moments
of silence, they kissed and rubbed their bodies
against each other's. Their nipples met, tight and
taunt they danced again just enjoying the contact.
Their legs entwined, occasionally making contact with
each other's pussy, stimulating the already growing
wetness between them. Their pussies made contact
during this intense make out and their clits bumped
involuntarily on occasion. Julie (now on top) enjoyed
this sensation and began to intentionally move against
her lover's clit. Their moans and sighs seem to come
at the same time. They were each driven to the edge by
it and orgasmed at the same time, and it wasn't so
much the intensity, but the joy of cumming together
this way that satisfied the both of the. They were
holding onto each other as their pussy lips mixed the
juices of this loving union.

After a moment, Julie stuck her fingers down there,
dipping into their mixed juices.

"This is us," she said.

Their tounges darted around the saturated fingers at
the same time.

"We taste beautiful," Alex said.

"Yeah, we do," Julie said after she too had tasted the
delights of there union.

"I don't regret us," Alex said.

"You make it sound like we have to end," Julie
replied.

Alex said nothing else, just kissed her again.
Followed by more lovemaking until they were both
exhausted again.



Julie woke up alone in Alex's bed around 6 in the
morning, feeling alive and refreshed in a way she
hadn't in a long time. She looked for her young lover,
but she was missing for real this time. There was a
note laying beside her. It said:

Dear Jules,

	Maybe in another lifetime we could have really loved
one another. Maybe, in another lifetime, we did. Maybe
if I were older (and rich -- just kidding) or maybe if
you were a bit younger and free, we could have shared
something special. Instead we just had a few stolen
moments. I want more than that. I deserve more than
that. I can't stay and be a mistress or whatever, I
have to go -- for me. I'll probably never again in my
life have a night like last night, but I can't stay
just for that. I'll miss you. I don't know if I loved
you, but I really really liked you. And

See You Next Lifetime,
Alex

Julie was sorry she was gone, but she couldn't feel
sad. Their situation was impossible, but nothing would
change their incredible night together. Julie almost
felt eighteen herself reading that letter. She knew
she should destroy it, as it was the only evidence she
had cheated on her husband with her daughter's
girlfriend. But she didn't want to. She'd fucked Alex
before, but last night they'd made love. It was
beautiful and she wanted something to hold onto.

She drove home with the letter in her pocket. Marissa
was up, getting coffee in the kitchen when she came
in. She was a bit startled to see her up so early.

"Hey mom," Marissa said. "Where have you been?"

"Uhh... I needed some fresh air. Did I tell you how
happy I am to have you home honey."

"Especially now that I'm no longer under the influence
of the evils of lesbianism, right?"

"Marissa, you know you aren't a lesbian, if you were
it would be fine. But I know and you know that you're
not."

"Maybe I'm bisexual. Would you say you are?" Marissa
said baiting her. A sleepless night had made her a bit
irritated with life and everything in it.

"What kind of question is that?" Julie snapped

"Your moment with a woman. Didn't you try to 'share'
that with me before?"

"I'm not in the mood for this Marissa," Julie said
walking away.

"Not in the mood for what, being honest? Isn't that
what you wanted, a closer relationship?"

"Yes that's what I want," Julie replied turning
around. "But this obviously isn't about that for you.
You can't blame me for what happened between you and
Alex. If you wanted to be with her with every fiber of
your being, you wouldn't have let her go. You're...
free to be with whomever you want. You were right, I
couldn't have made you come home. You came home
because you wanted to, because you know you didn't
love her as much as she loved you."

"So you believe she loved me?"

"Yeah, I do," her mother replied. "For the record,
Marissa, I wasn't lying when I said I liked Alex. I
just knew you weren't ready."

She wanted to argue with her about that, but the truth
was she couldn't.

"One day you're going to believe this, I love you
Marissa. I don't anything with the intention of
hurting you."

'Did that include screwing my girlfriend?' her mind
questioned, but it was never verbalized.

"I'm never going to stop looking out for your best
interest."

Then Julie left the kitchen.

'For the record, she liked Alex.' No duh!!, Marissa
thought. Right now she'd love to talk to Alex, ask her
how she could have done this. The confusion that had
numbed her yesterday was gone, she'd do anything to
relive that moment. But the moment was gone forever
and Alex was gone. And she didn't quite feel up to
confronting her mother about this directly. It was too
disturbing a thought to verbalize to her mother, but
she felt like she could have asked Alex why if she
could only talk to her. But the moment was gone, it
was time to let it go and move on.


END

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