Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 21:27:41 -0400 From: Harn <jharn@tampabay.rr.com> Subject: GOING OUR OWN WAY lesbian/highschool/celebrity "Submitted for your approval" is a story I wrote and drew last year but never finished because I am a lazy artist. I was disgusted (And a little depressed) by an ARCHIE COMICS story so I did the writers' equivilent of "throwing a tantrum" by mocking the charicters and story. In MY version, Betty and Veronica come out of the closet and admit being LESBIANS and from a couple of other parodies and a "Kiss Doll", I am not the only one who thought B+V should be gay if for no other reason than to get away from the self-centered Archie whose ego differs from Reggie's in that the latter is HONEST about it. I further pointed out in this never-to-be-published comic little "hints" found in the origonal stories that "prove" their lesbianism and think I could make a good case for it. Further amusement may be found in blotting out the speach balloons of some old comics (Sometimes it takes only a word or two) and writeing in gay dialogue. In this way you may read the adventures of Betty "The Gay Girl-next door", Veronica "The Debutant Dyke" and Sabrina "The Gay Little Witch". *********************************************************** The charicters Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge and others are the copyright property of ARCHIE COMICS are use here without permission. This story is a parody, for entertainment purposes only. *********************************************************** GOING OUR OWN WAY By Wendy Day Betty had to stay after school. Not that she had done anything wrong, she just wanted to spend a little extra time on "Dear Betty", her column in the school paper. In fact, there was one PARTICULAR letter that was going to be given an special attention to. But first, she had to see what the principal wanted and so placeing the letter in her pocket, she headed out. Her hand touched the paper sticking out of her jeans as she pondered it's contents: the girl was admitting she was GAY but was frightened about what society would think. She was certain that there were other lesbians in school and longed to approach them, but what if she was wrong? What if they didn't want to "come out" yet? The unnamed girl feared that someone would be humiliated. "Come in," Mr Weatherbee called when she knocked. "Larry said you wanted to see me, sir?" "Um, yes," He hedged, noteing the envelope in her pocket. This was not going to be easy. "I've been informed of a certain letter that you want to use in your column, Betty and well, I dislike censorship as much as the next man, but....I must ask that you not run it." Betty knew who was at the bottom of this: Larry the SNITCH. "But Mr. Weatherbee, why can't I use this letter in 'Dear Betty'?" "Because it smacks of LESBIANISM. This school isn't running a scandal sheet! Think of the girl; we don't want to expose her to public humiliation by FORCEING her out of the closet." "No, of course not." Betty conceeded, realiseing that he was right. Exiting, she thought about how the poor girl had poured her heart out. "It's funny," Betty muttered. "She uses pink stationary scented with 'Eve's Kiss' just like......" A sudden vision of raven bangs and a Missisippi accent caused her to run madly for her bike! Breaking a few safety and traffic laws, Betty arrived at the Lodge estate, in her haste entering without knocking. "Veronica!" She called to her friend at the foot of the staircase. "Hi Betty, what's new?" "YOU wrote this letter, didn't you?" "You...you know my secret!" She gasped. "And you came to MOCK me!" Betty was too shocked by the accusation to reply. "Spying, prying! Trying to get something on your rival! I thought we were FRIENDS, how COULD you?" "B-but..." The blond sputtered, trying to think of an explenation. "I hate you!" Shreeked the hieress, bolting up the steps. "I HATE YOU!" "Veronica, wait!" "I take it you've found out that our daughter is gay?" Remarked a middle-aged man's voice behind her. "Oh! Mr and Mrs Lodge!" The slightly flustered Betty gasped. "I...um....well..." "It's allright, my dear." Mrs Lodge smiled, patting her hand in the way of her old-fashioned manners that was so charming. "We've known for months." "You know and APPROVE?" "It's not our place to judge," Mr lodge pointed out. "She's our daughter and we LOVE her. But right now she needs someone who will be understanding, she needs her BEST FRIEND." "Please go to her Betty." The woman asked. "She useally hides in her closet when she needs a good cry." Thanking them, Betty climbed the stairs to Veronica's rooms (That's right: ROOMS). It had always seemed excessive to middle-class Betty, but a suite was perfect for a princess wannabe. First was "her highness'" sitting room/study with her computer, books and part of V's clotheing collection on display. Through an archway was the bedroom, twice as large as the Cooper liveing room with a higher ceiling. To her right was a private bath and a closet, but not the one Betty sought, the Cooper girl knew that it contained only a few outfits and accesories that Veronica might need durring the day or planned to give to her friends. THAT one was too small for "a good cry". THE closet was on her left and might have been another ROOM at one time. "If all gays had Ron's closet," She thought. "They would never 'come out'." Entering through the mirrored doors, she looked with pity upon the huddled figure sobbing into her hands. Betty kneeled beside her and placed an arm gently around her shoulders that shook with her weeping. "Ronnie, we have to talk." "G-go [sob] away!" Veronica suddenly lept to her feet, causing Betty to jump up as well. "All right, false friend!" She snapped. "I'm a LESBIAN! There, I've said it! Are you happy now? G-go ahead and l-laugh at the f-freak!" This last outburst caused a fresh flow of tears. "Look! I'm evil!" She cried, flinging her arms wide as if presenting herself to her detractors. "I corrupt children! Ruin familys! Bring civilzations to their knees!" "Veronica, you're loseing it!" "I'm scum! I'm trash! A monster! An abomination! "WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!" The blond screamed, shakeing her friend. "Veronica, DARLING. You're my best friend and it doesn't matter if you love girls! I still love you and ALWAYS will. You are my FRIEND. Nothing will change that." "P-promise?" Sniffed the black-haired daughter of Sapho. "I promise." was the answer and she crossed her fingers and kissed them; the 'sacred oath of friendship' they had taken soon after they had met. It made Veronica smile as Betty dried her dear friend's eyes with her hankie. "Now you've told me your secret, so I'll tell you MINE." Takeing the Lodge girl's face in her hands, Betty kissed her full on the lips! It was not just a little "girlfriend kiss" either, but a full, soulful kiss that took Veronica by surprise! She almost pulled back by instinct but Betty's firm (yet gentle) grip held her fast. The girl with the Betty Page hairdo relaxed as B parted her friend's lips with her tongue and carresed the blond's smooth, shapely hips. It was sweet and Veronica gave a little satified sigh as they parted. Suddenly her eyes popped open and she took a half step back. "Betty! You...you're GAY?" "Yes!" "But you've always chased Archie." "Archie was the only boy I really liked," She explained. "But he only likes me because I fix his car and do his homework. No GIRL ever took advantage of me like that. The whole male/female role, battle-of-the-sexes thing is just a BORE to be honest. I've found it more COMFORTABLE to be around girls, we're EQUALS, no fighting for dominance. But tell me, sweetheart, how did YOU discover girls?" "Well it took me long enough, I must say! I guess I just got tired of all the WOMAN HATEING in the world! You know: 'she's a good worker, FOR A GIRL'. 'Women are good for just two things: THREE if she has a nice ass'. And we are always portraied in movies and TV as bitchy, or emotionless, or over-sexed, or empty-headed ARM CANDY! Then there's that stupid political correctness: it makes women take MALE titles, clotheing and attitudes. Women are made to think the is something WRONG with being female!" Her eyes went dreamy before she continued. "I then began to notice how sweet, well-mannered and lovely girls are. And we SMELL BETTER than boys do as well!" They fell into each other's arms, laughing. "Oh, I'm so happy to get this off my chest!" The heiress exclaimed. "And to think that my best friend is also gay!" "We're not the only ones. I THINK that besides ourselves, half the cheerleader squad are lesbians." "I've suspected that too. Then there's Kathie, Jane, Virginia....Oh, we can discuss this later. Right now I think it's time I got out of the closet, LITERALY as well as FIGUREATIVELY!" Laughing at the pun, the exited. "Let's tell the world that we're lesbians, dear." Betty suggested. "I prefer the word 'FAIRY'". Veronica corrected with a girlish smile. "It sounds so dainty and feminine!" Out on the balcony they cupped their hand around their mouths and called out. "BETTY COOPER IS GAAAYYYY!" "VERONICA LODGE IS GAAAYYYY!" The effect was lost, however. For the only ones to hear their confession was one of the gardeners and Veronica's Hunter/Jumper "Sunshine"; for neither one really cared. "And now," Betty continued. "We can face the riseing son and say: 'It's going to be a new day'!" "The sun is setting, Betty." Veronica observed. "I ment SYMBOLICALLY." "Oh." THE END THE END