Date: Fri, 19 Dec 2008 12:25:17 -0800 (PST)
From: Mas P <maspgurl@yahoo.ca>
Subject: Beautiful

This story was inspired by a crush...that I still have by the way.  All
characters are just that though, characters, and therefore all fictional.
I hope that you enjoy it.

If you'd like to fan my ego, or take it down a notch, or volunteer as a
beta reader/editor (shameless advertising...) hit me up at:
maspgurl@yahoo.com

Beautiful
By Mas


Beautiful.  It was as if someone whispered that one word into my ear from
the moment I first laid eyes on you.  Beautiful.

Beautiful.

I saw you on my first day.  I did.  You smile now as I retell our story.
You didn't think that I noticed you.  You were wrong.

You looked at me, but I was shy though.  I didn't look at anyone but I was
aware of all of the women who worked at the store.  It was a big video and
electronic store.  I started work that week and was in the lunch room
putting away my winter jacket.

I saw you that day, but I didn't look directly at you. Silly me, but you
know what they say about hindsight.

Now I wish that I did.  It would have given me three more days to dream
about you.  We were both part-timers.  Both of us in university, I learned
after our first real conversation, which ended up being over greasy burgers
and fries. That's one of our favorite restaurants now.

Lonette.  Lonette Hanna.  I loved your name the first time I heard you say
it to me.  The way that your lips and tongue wrapped around each syllable
was erotic to me.  Suddenly I wanted to see you say mine, over and over
again.  We were in the hall way that led out into the store, both of us in
the customary black clothes and the purple vest with the store's logo.

"Hey," you said to me as I walked by.  I stopped, prepared to give the
customary fake smile and hello then I was struck mute.  I just stared.  You
took all thought from my head in that moment.  I felt like I was floating
on some cloud and only you could pull me back to earth.  And you did.

"You're new right?"  You asked and smiled, and then I felt something
dancing in my stomach.  I suddenly envisioned that dancing baby from Ally
McBeal, in my stomach.  I felt it start to dance lower and lower...

"Yeah. Hey, how are you?"  I looked at everything at once, hoping that you
didn't see me checking you out but at the same time, almost praying that
you did.  You are slim, very slim, but it fit you since you carry yourself
with an elegance that many women simply didn't possess.  I certainly
didn't.  Your eyes were chocolate brown with a drop of milk and kind
looking.  They looked like eyes that I could look into and tell all of my
dark and dirty secrets.

Every thing about your face was so good looking that I couldn't pin point
any one feature beside your eyes.  Your lips were full and soft
looking...and moist.  Your nose was perfect to me, your ears, your chin,
cheekbones...

You had your hair in this low very chic cut with your hair cropped close to
you head, like something from a fashion magazine.  It made me think of
Natalie Portman when she chopped off all of her hair back then.  It was
sexy as hell on her but looked even better on you.

You're taller than me by a few inches.  Model height, I thought back then.
I still think that.  And you could be one. I hoped to tell you that some
day.  I hoped to tell you just how beautiful you were some day.

You were saying something and my eyes were glued to your lips.  I looked up
and caught a strange smile on your lips.  I was going to see this smile
more in the future though it took me a long time to figure out what it
meant.

Beautiful.

"What?  I'm sorry..."  You laughed.

"I said welcome and you'll love it here.  I've been here for a year or so
and the management is cool."  I smiled back at you and moved closer as a
group of co-workers stepped into the lunch room.

"I hope so, since I have no intention of finding another part-time job for
a while."  You began to walk out into the store and I fell into step beside
you like a puppy dog and watched as you were immediately asked something by
a customer.  I stood back, watching how you answered.  You were great, made
the guy laugh and pointed him in the right direction.  He seemed to fall a
little in love with you.  Join the club, I thought then looked down at my
shoes when your eyes met mine again.

"You'll be great, and if you have any questions, find me."

"You on the floor too?"  I asked, not wanting you to leave but knowing that
you had to.

"Nope, not anymore.  I'm a cashier now."  You lifted your hand and I swear
that it all happened in slow motion.  You reached up, placed your hand on
my arm, and squeezed it.  I wanted to grab it then, that lovely hand; it
felt so warm through my shirt. So right.

Then it was gone.

"See you around Donna." You said and I nodded then started when I realized
that I didn't introduce myself.  How did you...?  I stepped forward as if
to ask you how you know my name then you became bombarded with even more
customers.

"See ya Lonette..." I mumbled as you walked away.

The next week went by in a blur.  It was drawing closer to the Christmas
season and customers where packed in the store more and more.  I saw you
only one day after out first meeting.  I smiled and said hello.  You did
to, then someone called you out to cash in a hurry and you looked at me in
apology and ran off.  It seemed like the universe was working against me.

Dammit! I wanted to talk to her too.

Another week flew past and I was finishing off my exams.  Then you began to
shake up my world a little.

I entered the lunch room after my shift and punched out.  I was putting on
my jacket when you walked in.  When I say you I just held it, hoping that
our gazes would connect.  You looked around then your eyes settled on me.
The smile you gave me made my very long, tiring day worth it.

"Hey you." You ambled over to where I was and leaned against a locker.

"Hey Lonette.  You've been M.I.A. these last few weeks."

"I know, it's been crazy.  With classes and exams..."

I nodded my head, telling you that I understood.  "It's just that when
you're not around this place is so boring." You laughed.  "What?  I'm
serious.  Everyone walks around like zombies until you show up."

"I highly doubt that.  If so then you guys got real problems."

I laughed.  "So you punching in now?"  You looked at your watch then walked
over to the machine.  When you came back to me and resumed your very
relaxed pose I could have burst on demand from how good it made me feel.
Finally, I was talking to you.  Somewhat alone.  I glanced around the lunch
room; no one seemed to be paying us much attention though.

You smiled hellos to almost everyone then turned back to me.

"I wanted to talk to you, see how your first few weeks were ya know?"  I
smiled at that.

"Awww, were you worried about me?" I asked quietly.  I don't know why my
voice dropped like that but yours did to.  Then you had that strange smile
on your face.  It almost looked...shy.

"Well..." you looked at me then pushed my arm.  "Stop it!" I laughed at
you, asking you what I was doing exactly.  "Anyway, so it's snowing like
crazy out there.  Be careful going home."

"Yes mom." You pushed me again though this time your hand lingered for a
while on my arm.  I had yet to put on my jacket.  I flexed my arm
sub-consciously and your eyes looked up at mine and widened a bit.  Then
they dropped away.  No, don't look away, I thought in earnest.  I sighed
when they met my gaze again.

I didn't shy from away from exercising.  I was curious about what you
thought of my arms then.  Were they to big?  Too much muscle?

"Okay, well see you later.  You on Saturday?"  I told you yes and we
promised to eat lunch together.

"Bye Lonette," I said quietly as I smiled at you.  Beautiful Lonette.  You
smiled and said goodbye too.  I realized that that was one word that I
hated hearing leave your lips.

"Goodbye," I mumbled with a frown.


We never did get to eat together on Saturday.  It got too crazy and they
had you cashing through your lunch hour, so you took yours right as I was
leaving mine.

"Hey, you stood me up.  I thought we had a lunch date?" I smiled to take
the sting out of the words.  You rubbed your face and shouted into your
hands.  "Hard day huh?"

"It's insane.  I'm sorry though.  Maybe we can grab something afterwards?"
My eyes must have widened in surprise because you began to back pedal a
bit.  "I mean, well you probably have to go straight home..."

"No, no!"  Real smooth Donna, I could have slapped myself at how desperate
I sounded.  "I mean, I can do that.  There's a burger place right outside
here."  I pointed out into the busy street.  You nodded your head slowly,
still looking unsure.  "Go eat Lonette, we'll meet up afterwards."

"Okay mom," you teased.  I watched you walk away my eyes lingering and
finally did the same...quickly when you turned back and almost caught me
staring at your ass.

Almost.

Almost right?


We ate that night together on what I like to call our first date.  You
looked tired.  I probably looked the same; we both worked a long 9 hour
shift.

"I think I'm gonna sit in my bath tub tonight.  Sleep in there too.  Then
tell my mama to bring me room service."  I laughed at you then laughed even
more at your serous expression.  You finally laughed too after a while.

"She'd do it you know.  She's sweet like that."

"Sound's like your one lucky lady," I said.

"I am."  I sipped some of my soda and my eyes rested on your fingers.  Very
slim, elegant fingers.  God, I need to settle down...I forced my eyes back
up to the neutral zone of your face and tried to make sense of the jumbled
thoughts in my brain.  I finally did.

"Some people deserve it though."  I looked up and caught you staring at my
arms where I had my black shirt rolled up.  I didn't like baggy clothes. I
wore shirts that were cut for my figure.  I wasn't overly curvy but I
wasn't built like a man either.  The muscle that I had were nicely
proportioned and so I showed them off when I felt like it.  This shirt
showed them off a bit, but the way your eyes looked when they met mine made
me a little scared even as a thrill ran up and down my spine.  Scared?  No,
more like nervous now that I think about it.  I was too busy with my
internal monologue to keep track of our conversation.  I guess you were
too.

"What did you say?" You asked me.

"About what?"  We both looked confusedly at each other then giggled like
school girls.

"I said that some people deserve it." You looked into my eyes and I became
lost in yours.

"Deserve what?" Your voice turned low and husky.

I swallowed and tried to stop my eyes from falling to your lips.  Very
full, very soft looking lips.  Beautiful lips.  They fell anyway.

"I said that some people deserve breakfast in bed."  I was leaning closer
to you now, unconsciously reaching for you.  I wondered if you felt it.

"Donna?"

"Hmmm?"  I licked my lips as you licked yours.

"I didn't say anything about breakfast in bed."  It was like a bucket of
ice cold water.  Thrown over me in the middle of winter.  While I stood
buck naked.

 I sat back and stuttered, trying to find a sensible explanation for saying
what I did that didn't involve me and you...naked...in said bed.  You just
smiled at me.

I suddenly felt hot.  I yanked off my tam and ran my hair over my tightly,
and intricately braided hair.

"I love your hair.  You always have some fresh designs in it."  You reached
over and touched it and I nearly fainted.  In my chair.  Yeah, I know...

"Yeah, umm, thank you." I stuttered.  I looked up and caught you smiling at
me again in that strange way.  I was starting to like it though and I had
no idea why.

You absently looked at your watch and you cursed.  "My mama is gonna kill
me!"  I looked at my watch to and my eyes bugged, it was going on 11pm.  We
spent over 2 hours together.

"You had a curfew or something?" I asked absently as I slid on my jacket.
I immediately rushed to your side of the table to help you with your own.
You smiled at me.  Chivalry would be alive and kicking if it were up to me.

I'm gonna have a heart attack if it doesn't stop stopping every time you
smiled at me though.

You had no idea what it did to me.  Or did you...?

"No!"  You looked at me as if I were crazy.  "I promised to help with
dinner tonight.  Now I'm sure she made a very elaborate meal just to make
me feel even worse."  I laughed at this and wanted to meet this woman you
were obviously very fond of.

"She sounds so cool."

"She is Don," I didn't say anything about the new nickname.  I never had
anyone call me Don before.  You could have called me Bill for all I cared
though.  "She lets me be me you know?"  Your meaningful look made me wonder
briefly if you meant me as in like me...but no, I had to have mistaken it.
So I just nodded.  I didn't want to jump to any conclusions but I felt a
strong surge of hope flare up.

"This was fun huh?" I asked as we stood in front of each other in front of
the restaurant.  We had to walk in opposite directions, you to one subway
entrance, and me to another.

"Yeah, the best burger I ever had.  Though I think that it's 'cause of the
company.  They say that good company helps with digestion you know?"  I
laughed at that.  You always had a way of making me laugh.  I never met
anyone besides my brother who made me laugh like you did.  I was doing my
gazing-at-you thing again and reached out to hold you hand.  I couldn't
stop myself; it was as if someone else controlled my body.  I'm pretty sure
that I knew who that someone was.

But before I could yank my hand back you grasped it, then you squeezed it.
"Thanks Donna."  You reached over and slid your arms into my still opened
jacket and hugged me.  I closed my eyes and held you, breathing deeply.

"God you're warm."  You pulled back and I still held your hand surprising
you by walking next to you.  "Isn't your subway over there?"

"Yup." You smiled and we quietly walked to your subway.  I watched as you
disappeared beneath the entrance and practically floated home.

After that we had as many after work "dates" as we could.  Even though I
was the only one officially calling them dates...in my head.  If you hold
hands with a girl and walk her to her subway entrance even if your's is a
block away, I think that you're on a date though.  That surge of hope I
felt turned into a quiet assurance.

You never gave what we did a name.  I didn't care though.  Just being in
your presence would have been enough.  I wouldn't have minded watching you
eat let alone eating with you.

Then I had the chance to learn so much about you.  I'd let you talk, you'd
ask me questions and I'd make my answers short and sweet, watching you
frown at my to-the- point answers. You'd just shake your head and sit
quietly for about a minute then you'd bring up something else.  Your voice
though, it did something to me...

I talked enough for you to not catch on to my need to hear you talk.  But
I've never been really talkative and you sense that.  You just smile and I
let you ramble on happily.

Your voice still is like the sound of the ocean to me.  It calms me.  Then
your laugh is more like a cool breeze over heated skin.  I smile just
thinking about it.  I don't have to know what you're laughing about.

You quieted and I was still nodding my head, lost in your beauty.  My eyes
were resting on your lips...again.  At some point my hand inched across the
table and found yours.  My thumb was making lazy patterns on your skin.

The tilt of your head as if to ask, are you even listening to me, made me
really look at you.  And really listen, then really try to remember the
last thing you said.  So I said the only thing that would make me look like
less of a love-struck sap.

"Uhh huh," I said as I tried to pull my hand away.  You turned yours over
and grabbed on.

"Uhh huh?" You asked incredulously.  "So you'd do that?  You'd bathe in
pine apple sauce?"

I had no idea how we got on that topic.  God, was I that out of it?

"Wait! What?"  You laughed and shook your head, then came that look.  This
time I saw something else.  I saw your eyes lose focus for a moment. A long
moment.  I saw a glimpse of something that I only saw in my own eyes when I
got ready in the morning and my thoughts rested on you.  You looked away,
clearing your throat loudly.

"I was talking about my niece and how my brother said bathing in pine apple
sauce is perfectly normal since..." her voice trailed off and our eyes
connected.  I leaned forward in my seat and so did you.

I was getting closer and closer to your lips. My eyes crossed and focused
on them, then they were moving again.

Dammit, she sure talks at the weirdest times.

"What?"  I asked.

"I asked if you wanted to eat Christmas dinner with my family?"  I frowned
and sat back.  By now Lonette knew that I lived alone in the city, my
parents were in the south, thank God, and my brother lived a province away.
He usually came by for new years since he had a wife and two little kids
and he invited me every year for Christmas but I didn't like his wife to
much.  Most times I just stay at home.  Alone.  Lonette didn't like that at
all and I smiled, basking in her attention and growing affection.

"I already told mama that you're alone this year and she knows about you
and she asked if you'd like to join us."  I smiled at the way she called
her mother mama.  I thought it was so country-like.  Reminded me of home.
Reminded me of the good times.

"So you been tellin' mama about your new girl friend eh?"  My smiled
slipped when I realized how that sounded.  We had yet to define exactly
what we were.  Friends?  Friends who happen to be girls?  Girlfriends?

"Yes," came the quiet response.  "I did."

"Okay." I said quickly.  We sat smiling at each other for God knows how
long.  I thought that our faces would have had permanent smiles by now.  It
seemed that whenever we were in the same room I had one on my face.

So we talked about your family for a bit and planned on when and where to
meet.


Christmas was a few days away and I wanted to give you something that you'd
love.  Something special, from my heart.  So I decided to paint for you.  I
did an abstract piece for you with two figures holding each other and a
space-like background.  When it was done I was pleased with it.  It was the
best work I'd ever done.

"I need to think of her when I'm painting from now on."  I mumbled as I
framed it and wrapped it up.  We had plans to meet at a popular Caribbean
restaurant downtown.  The owner was very gay friendly and had a gay son who
managed it when she was out of town.

"Donna, it's been a while eh?" He said as I walked in, Lonette right behind
me.  I pulled you forward and introduced them.  "Oh, I see now." He said
and we both laughed.  "It's a pleasure sweetie, ya'll sit down now.  I'll
hook you up ladies."

We sat and I fidgeted with the gift before handing it over to you.  Your
eyes lit up and you reached over and kissed me on the cheek.  We had yet to
kiss on the lips, but these cheek kisses were making me light headed so I
was strangely happy we didn't try for lips yet.

I'd faint, I knew it.

"Thank you Don," you said and took my hand.  I reached into my jacket and
pulled out a rectangular box.  I handed it to you and your eyes watered a
bit as you accepted it.

"Thank you," you said behind watery eyes.

"Hey, hey..." I mumbled as I stood up to slide into the bench next to you.
I wiped away a tear that slid down to your chin.  "Why the tears huh?"  You
shrugged.

I hugged you and you held my arm then shook your head against my chest.  I
moved away a little.

"I'd never had some one buy me a gift like this before you know?"

"But you haven't opened it yet..." I was at a lost as to what you meant.

"No, I mean...I've never been in a serious relationship Donna."  You
whispered your confession and my eyes widened then I smiled at what it
implied.  I had two girl friends in high school and so couldn't have said
that to you unfortunately.  Now I wish that I waited for you.  I wish that
I had that at least to offer too you.

To be the person you offered your heart to for the first time made me
nervous but even more so, it made me beyond happy.

"I love you Lonette."  I said quietly but with conviction.  "You need to
know that and you don't have to tell me anything back.  But I do."  You
looked at me in wonder and leaned your head on my shoulder, I pulled you
closer.  That's how Ray found us.

He cleared his throat and gave me a knowing smile.  We ordered and settled
back for a pleasant evening.

"I have your gifts at home, under our tree."

"You didn't have to."

"Hush, of course I did."  You slapped my stomach, not that I felt it under
all the layers I wore in the winter.  It took me forever to get undressed
after school, or work.  I usually had on like three shirts at least.

We walked to the subway and stood on the platform.  "My mother is excited
about seeing you.  My brother too and his family.  Then you can finally
meet my little sister Laila.  She's a riot. Too smart for her own good."

"I'm excited to.  So umm is your mom...I mean..." I looked meaningfully
into your eyes and you understood what I was trying to ask.

"She knows that I'm a lesbian Don."  I nodded my head at that.  "She's the
person who informed me that I was one."

"What?"  I laughed and shook my head.  "How?  I mean..."

"I had a crush on my P.E. teacher."  I shook my head.  "I know, I know, how
clich‚ right?  But I talked about her non-stop than one day my brother
suddenly started teasing me about it and calling Ms. Jenson names then I
began to cry and we had a big row, and I punched him in the stomach and my
mama sat down in my room as I cried and explained very patiently why I was
defending Ms. Jenson as if my life depended on it."

We sat in the subway, my arms around your shoulders, you leaning into me.
I shook my head in wonder and tried to picture a women like Lonette's
mother in the flesh.

"So suffice it to say, she knows."  She giggled into my neck.  I shivered
at the feeling.

"And you still never had any girls sneaking up in your bed room?"

"Never wanted to sneak any up before," I picked up on the subtext of your
statement and pulled you closer.  We were at your stop all too soon and I
had to let you go.  "You gonna call me tomorrow or should I call you?"

"If you don't call me quick enough I'll just call you.  How bout that?"
You leaned down and kissed my cheek then you were gone.

I sighed as I tried to catch the last glimpse of you through the quickly
darkening glass.  Tomorrow was meet meet-your-mom-day.  I don't need to
tell you how scared I was.



We stood outside your mother's house.  I was shaking in fear.  Irrational
fear now that I look at it, you were trying to calm me but it felt
hopeless.  "I can't Lonette!  What if she hates me?  Then she bans me from
seeing you again then..." You hugged me close.  You knew about some of the
things I went through with my own parents.  You know about the baggage I
left in the south.  Dirty south, aptly named, I thought.  Why it didn't
make you run back then, I'll never know.

"Shhhhh."  You rubbed my back and told me to breathe in and out.  Then to
do it again.  then you started to tell me it was gonna be allright, I was
going to be great, your mom already loved me...I didn't really hear
anything else, just the fact that you were talking at all made me feel like
I was gonna make it through the night.

"Okay," I took your hand again. You had on those slim brown gloves that I
love.  You were one of those girls who embraced her figure with stylish
clothes.  I still wonder how you look so damn good when you didn't seem to
be bleeding your wallet dry.

We turned for the door and I noticed a short lady standing there smiling at
us.  Behind her was a tall man who looked a lot like Lonette and a little
head was squeezing through to peek out.  Had to be her little sister.

"That her girlfriend mama?!" Came a squeaking voice.

"Laila, get inside before you freeze!" came a stern but playful voice.
"Ya'll come inside, food getting cold you know."

I smiled and knew from that moment that it was going to be good.  It was
all good.


I hadn't laughed so hard in my life.  I really thought that my brother held
that record for me but Lonette's family did, hands down.  Her brother
Leonardo, Leo for short, .and his wife Terri were there with their little
baby girl Jae, who seemed to be a grown woman in the body of a 5 year old.
That was when she decided to talk.  Other wise, she was very quiet.

Then Laila was simply hilarious in that innocent-tell-all-of-your-secrets
kinda way.

Lonette was telling then about my painting and I tried to brush it off when
Laila said in confusion, "But you didn't write that in your journal..."  It
was the innocent way she said it that cracked us all up.  Lonette shouting
over the laughter to her mama for Laila invading her privacy just made it
funnier.

"What else did she write in there about me." I leaned in closer.

"Oh that you're pretty and smart and nice and sexy and that you have a
very, very, very nice-"

"Okayyy!" Leo intervened loudly and looked at mama pleadingly for his
little sister.  By then you had your face buried in your hands.  "Mama,
Laila needs to stop digging through our stuff."

"Mama!  I don't look through their stuff!  They leave stuff in the open and
expect me to just ignore it."  She looked truly appalled at the mere
thought of not reading an opened journal.

"Mama..." Lonette said warningly then she threw a roll at Laila who only
laughed and tossed it back.

"Stop playing with your food!"  She looked sternly at both girls who stuck
out their tongues at each other.  "Donna, you want another serving?"  Even
as I said no she grabbed my plate and dished up more food.  "Laila, I'm
gonna tan your behind if I hwar about you reading anymore of Lonette's
journals.  They're personal!  Lonette, I told you about journals and
diaries in the house.  You like to write but need to find some other way of
getting your thoughts down.  Like your computer maybe..."

Leo snorted at that then looked at me.  "She can't stand it.  I think she
get's more technologically illiterate with every year."

"And you Mr. I don't read books.  I have yet to hear you make a complete
sentence."  You both made faces at each other until Laila was laughing like
a hyena.

"English is over rated." He said in an off handed way.  "Plus Terri loves
me even if I can't spell the word the."  I laughed as he reached over for a
kiss but only got a fork filled with mash potatoes.

"Stop it," His wife said as she slapped his stomach then she looked at me.
"He can spell just fine.  Ignore these two; it seems to be a hobby of
theirs."

"I'm calling the locksmith tomorrow to put a lock on my door mama."  You
said as you stood to take your plate into the kitchen and pulled out a
carton of icecream from the freezer.  "Ice cream?" she asked.  Everyone
except me said yes.  I was beyond full.

"Then we can open gifts mama?"  Laila asked.  They opened gifts after
dinner on Christmas Day which I told Lonette was pure torture.

"How did you guys handle it when you were younger and you saw all the other
kids riding their new bikes or playing with their new toys outside?"

"We just stayed inside."  It turned out that mama had no real reason for it
other than it just ended up being how it was in their house.

I sat back in a chair that you sat next to on the floor as Laila opened up
all of her gifts.  I was pleased when she seemed to be truly appreciative
of my gift card to a favorite book store.  You assured me that she'd love
it.  The star of the show was mama of course who got her a very shiny and
very pink I pod.  She ran outside to show it off to her neighbours.

"I think we only do this for that little ball of energy now."  Leo said as
he sighed.  Terri came back into the living room after putting Jae to sleep
in Laila's room.

"Here you go big head." You said fondly to Leo and he ripped of the paper
to reveal a Kobe Bryant jersey and a signed basketball card.

"Niiiice!  How'd you get this?!"  He reached over to hug you.  Soon all of
the gifts were opened except for mine with you stashing away the gifts that
I got you in your bedroom.

It turned out that mama got me a gift to.  It was signed simply 'mama and
her rugrats.'

I smiled and opened it up and my eyes began to tear as I saw one of the
most beautiful carvings that I'd ever seen in my life.  It was framed like
any other picture but the intricately designed seascape blew me away.

"Lonette told me about your love for art and the sea, so we all chipped in
and bought this for you."  No one said a word as I cried my thanks.  I
wiped my eyes then I had to hug mama.  She shushed my thanks.  "You're
family now."

I looked back at you then and truly felt what she just said.  I truly felt
like I was apart of a family with your mama and her kids.

I picked up the gift that you had for me then paused when you cleared your
throat.  "Ummm, can we open our gifts in private please?"  Terri's eye
brows rose as she tried to hide a grin.  Mama nodded but Leo just asked, "I
don't see why you need privacy to open your gifts."  When Terri slapped his
stomach he pouted then said grudgingly, "Okay, okay I don't care."


You took my gift from my hands after thanking everyone for your gifts then
you took my hand and led me down a hallway that had quite a few doors
branching off of it.  We reached what had to be your room and entered it,
and you pulled me until I sat on your bed.  I looked around and couldn't
help but think that the room reflected you completely.  A poster of Erykah
Badu stood proudly in the center and earth tones were everywhere from the
color on the walls to the figurines and pictures scattered around the room.
I thought that my painting would be perfect for the space.

"I don't know.  I just felt like we'd both be more comfortable...alone you
know?"

"Yeah," I agreed.  "This being our first Christmas and all."  You smiled
and moved closer to me placing my gift in my hands.  I opened it slowly,
savoring the anticipation.  When it was finally opened I frowned first,
sure that I was seeing things.

"How...how...?"  I stuttered then lifted up the thick book.  It was a
collection of photography from my favorite photographer.  I've been
practically lusting after the book since I saw it in the book store.  What
I couldn't figure out was how you knew.  I hugged you tightly to me as my
eyes watered.

Another love of mine is photography.  I don't remember ever telling you
about it though.

"A little birdie told me..." You whispered into my neck.  I pulled back and
smiled at you, feeling the happiest I've ever been.

"Open yours."  You walked over and took both gifts and sat down next to me.
"I hope you like them."

"Of course I will." You said immediately.  Then you opened the painting and
pulled away all of the paper then just sat staring at it with your lips
slightly parted.  Your eyes began to well up again and this time you did
cry, though silently.  I placed my arm around your shoulders.

You shook your head.  "Why aren't you in a gallery?  You're amazing, this
is amazing!"  You turned to me ready to continue then looked back at the
picture. "It's beautiful, thank you."  I smiled, relieved that you liked
it.

"The other one."  A shy smile fell on those lips as you gently placed the
drawing on the side then reached for the box.  You slid off the bow and
lifted the lid.  The necklace was already glinting at you.  It was a plain
silver necklace but on the end of it sat a turquoise ring.  She loved this
stone.

She turned to me and before I could make some lighthearted remark your lips
were on mine.  They didn't move for the first few moments, they just
touched, then you began to move your lips from side to side, then you
gasped as I began to kiss you back.  A hot and wet tongue slid into my
mouth then and I groaned lifting my hand to hold your cheek.  I pulled your
lower lip into my mouth and began to suck on it, then the upper and did the
same, alternating with small nips and pulls.

You were gasping into my mouth.  Your breath warm and sweet against my
skin.  "So sweet..." I mumbled as I tasted you over and over.  I didn't
want to stop.  I couldn't, I pulled on your arms until you straddled my
hips and kissed you slowly, in no rush at all.

Your arms circled my shoulders then moved over my back then they were under
my shirt and touching my skin.  I squeezed my eyes shut as you began to
move subtlety over me.

I pulled you closer as my tongue continued to explore your lips.  My hands
held your hips and squeezed then you moaned and my eyes flew open at whet
we were doing and where we were doing it.  I pulled away slowly, gently,
not wanting you to think that I way pushing you away.  You however still
chased my lips with soft, swift kisses.

"God, you're so sweet to me Donna.  Why?" You asked against my lips as I
rubbed against yours then moved to kiss your cheek.  I didn't answer you.
If you didn't know the answer then I had to wait for it to catch up with
you.  I had to wait for you to feel it.

I place butterfly kissed on your lips, gentle ones, where our skin hardly
touched; murmuring nonsense that I still can't recall.  Both of us didn't
see the curious eyes peek in on us or the happy smile as the eyes
disappeared.  Those eyes however did see a little body trying to tip toe
down the hallway.  "Laila, get back to that living room."  She laughed when
Laila started and ran away obviously not expecting anyone else to be
curious about the two young women.

She laughed all the way back to the living room.



"So.  Ummm, I want to go home with you Donna."

It was about 9:30 that night and I had to leave soon if I was going to
catch the holiday hours for the subway.  I lay on your bed, you lay snugly
next to me and I'm sure you feel my heart racing.  Your hand is lying right
over my breast.

"Ahhh, are you sure?" I stutter into the silence.

"Yes." You immediately answer.

"Okay..." I'm not sure how to respond to you because if you come over I
have no idea what you want to do or what you expect to happen.  I can't
assume that you want to make love for the first time, though I want to.  I
have been dreaming about it nearly every night.  So I lay confused as you
rub my stomach.  "Will it be okay with you mama?" I ask.

There is silence for a while as your hands still, then they're moving
again.  "I'll tell her, she'll be okay."



"Why?" her mother asked as they sat at the kitchen table.

"Mama?!  When Leo used to ask to go out you'd let him." You argued.

"But he never asked to go out on Christmas day."

"Actually, yes I did mama, once.  I wanted to go ice skating at the..."
When he noticed the scowl directed at him from the older woman he backed up
hands in the air, and quickly exited the kitchen.

You however looked triumphant.  "See!"  Mama looked at me then and seemed
to be searching my face for something.  I guessed that it was
responsibility so I tried to look as responsible as I could.  Your mother
pursed her lips as if trying to fend of a smile and nodded her head as if
she found it.

"Okay, but you take care of my little girl, no hanky panky after 1am."

"Mama! Arghhh!"  You stormed out of the kitchen to your room.

Mama laughed and smiled at me still managing to look serious at the same
time.  "I'm not stupid you know.  I know my girl want to spend time with
you.  I also know, though she'd like me not to, that this is her first
time."  I gulped at the now cold look in her eyes.  They changed so
quickly.  "You break her heart or hurt her and I'll hunt you down Donna."
I nodded my head then sighed in relief at the laughter that followed.

She stood up and hugged me, putting a bag filled with food in my hand and
she told me to take it home.  I said thanks as we left the kitchen.

"I thought you were serious for a moment there."  I laughed and so did she.
Then she stopped and looked at me fondly.

"What makes you think that I wasn't?"



We hugged everyone good bye and I took her bag and slung it over my
shoulder.

You grasped my free hand and we headed to the subway.

"You want to stop for anything?  Food or anything?"  You looked to be in
contemplation for a moment then you shook your head and we had a relatively
quiet walk to my apartment building.

I noticed when we were getting off the subway that you kept grabbing your
ear and rubbing your lobe.  We got to my apartment door and you did it
again, then again.

"Is your earring irritating you?"

'Huh?" You ask as I gesture for you to enter.

"Your ear, you keep rubbing it..." I turn on the light in the kitchen just
in time to see you look shy and a little embarrassed.

"Sorry, bad habit."  When I looked at you to continue you did.  "I do that
when I'm nervous."

"Nervous?"  I took your hand and pulled you to me.  "I'm making you
nervous?"

"No, not you.  Just...tonight is making me nervous."  I tilted my head as I
study your lip that you were biting at the time.  I leaned in and ran my
tongue over said lip until you released it and gave it to me.

"Mine..." I murmured against you.  You laughed and hugged me closer as I
gently explored your mouth.  By the time I was done your eyes were heavy
with arousal.

"Don't be nervous. Nothing's gonna happen tonight that you don't want to
happen."  I ran my hands over your hips and you sighed and leaned your head
against my shoulder.  "We can fall asleep in pj's if that's what you want
to do."

"But I don't want to do that.  I want to be with you.  I want to sleep with
you tonight Don."  My heart raced after I heard the earnest words fall from
your lips right into me.  I nodded my head and took your hand.  I pointed
you to my bedroom and told you that I'd be right there.  I went into the
bathroom and brushed my teeth quickly.  Then I entered the bed room to find
you taking off your shoes.

There was no music paying.  No beat or rhythm to move to as we both shyly
took off our clothes.  I worked out and knew that I had a pretty decent
body.  But I've been around women and men who made a point to declare that
they don't like women with strong bodies.  I wasn't muscle bounded, but I
had enough of them to prove that I spent time developing them.

I sat down as you stood in your bra, your fingers hesitantly unbuttoning
your jeans.  I rested my hands over them to stop you.  "You are the most
beautiful woman that I've ever rested my eyes on Lonette.  The most
beautiful.  Beautiful."  I said the word over and over as I slid down her
zipper and slipped the jeans off of her hips then I reached for the black
underwear and smiled at the lace.  They soon followed the jeans.

"Mmmm sexy..." I growled and gently pushed you towards me.  My lips rested
on you navel and I breathed in, smelling your arousal as it drifted up to
invade my senses.

You gasped at the feel of my lips against your heated skin.  I slide back
on the bed and wait for you to move over me.  I remain this way so that
you'll feel comfortable, in control.  You seem to be getting accustomed to
the feel of my body beneath your own.  I watch the curiosity then the pure
pleasure rush pass your eyes.  Then you sit up and straddle my hips.

Your hands begin a slow exploration.  "I always thought that people
preferred voluptuous women.  I've never heard of someone liking a skinny
woman so I never felt...sexy before."  I just listened to you as your hands
moved over my stomach over the defined muscle there then reach past your
thighs to move over my own.

My eyes threatened to close.

"I even got teased about it in high school.  I got over it you know, but it
left an impression that took me a long, long time to shake Don."  You
dipped your hand closer to my core, my heat, and looked at my face as I
gasped.

"Then I see you that day.  Do you remember?  The first day we met, for
real."

"Beautiful."  I whispered as I took in the sway of your breasts as you
move.  Oh yes, I remembered.

"Since then, since that day I truly started to feel beautiful.  'Cause no
one's ever looked at me the way that you do Don.  No one."  You then leaned
down, your hands framing my face and kissed me.  It was a pure kiss, one
that spoke of vulnerability, innocence.  I understood.

I rolled us until I lay, straddling one of your thighs.  Immediately you
began to move into me.  Against me.  I moan as I watch your face contort
momentarily in pleasure.

"I want you so bad Lonette."  I whisper into your ear then dip my tongue
into it, pulling the lobe into my mouth.

"Oh God." You gasp as my hand began to massage your small, pert breasts.  I
move my hand up again, to hold my self up.  I don't want to crush her, and
so simply move my own breasts over yours.  Your eyes close in pleasure and
I find it erotic the way that they move beneath their lids.  I kiss each
one and feel your hands as you become more confident in your touch.  They
roam over my back and I arch into you.

"You are so strong, so sexy.  God..." You are panting in arousal now.  I
feel it painting my thighs.  "You feel so good." You murmur against my lips
as I begin to move with purpose against your thigh.

"We're gonna take it slow okay?"  I tell you as I look into you eyes.  I
watch them as I reach down and part your folds.  You bite your lips and I
immediately lead with my tongue to claim them for myself.  "Mine..." I
growl and begin to suck on the lip in question as I gently nudge your
thighs further apart even as I rub you softly.

"Don..." You say as the excitement begins to build.

"It's okay, let it come..."  I move over you even as I part myself and I
begin to grind against you.  When you become aware of our clits rubbing
together your breath comes in pants.  The air itself seems to be
disappearing as you hold onto me.  First my shoulders, then when that
doesn't bring you closer to your release you groan and grab by back.

"Ummm," your nails rake over my skin as you move against me.  Our pace is
sure and slow as our juices mix and flow.  I shift until my lips are
against your neck and I begin to suck on the skin there.  It seems to be
all you need because soon you're bucking against me, the bed jerking with
us as you come against my body.  I have a strong desire to taste you but I
hold off.  I groan out my own orgasm as I move against you, slowly, trying
to get as much out of it as possible.

You're grasping my ass now as you grind out the last of your release.

I kiss your face as you try to catch your breath.  "Beautiful."

"I heard you that day you know..." You mumbled in my ear.  You're calmer
now.

"What?"

"The day I finally talked myself into talking to you.  I heard you call me
beautiful."

I raised my head at that.  Talk yourself into talking to me?  That
means... "So you wanted to talk to me since then?" I couldn't hide the awe
from my voice if I tried and when you nodded your head shyly I kissed your
still swollen lips.  "I wanted to talk to you too baby."

When you blushed I chuckled and leaned up on my arms to look at you.  I
knew that I could fall asleep looking at that face everyday.  If I had a
choice as to how I could die, I'd do the same thing.  I'd die gazing at
you. Even in the middle of my silent declarations I felt embarrassment
creep up on me.

"I said that out loud though?"  I asked even as I rubbed my eyes.

"Yup."  You grinned, now obviously having fun with my embarrassment.  "I
thought you were going crazy for a moment there but then I realized that
you let it slip and just didn't notice.  Then when you didn't ask me out
then and there or anything..." you trailed off and I felt doubt fill the
silence.

"I should have."  I said.

"Yes, I agree."  I gaze at you and reach down to kiss her again, I couldn't
get enough.  When I lift my head I can see the arousal in your eyes again.
"I think that you are incredible, and I've been falling for you since the
first day I saw you Donna."

My eyes glaze over at the arousal I see in your gaze.  Then I lick my lips
at the sudden visual of my mouth on you, eating you as you screamed out for
me to never stop.

"Lonette..." I began shakily.  You run your hands over my ass, what you
declared as your favorite body part...so far, but the night is young.  "I'm
gonna ask you if I can do something and I only want you to say yes if you
are comfortable with it."

You look curious and a little unsure, but nod none-the-less for me to
continue.  "I want to taste you Lonette."  You shift a little and despite
your eyes now looking worried I feel you get wetter, immediately I begin to
move against you.

"Ummm, that's called-"

"I want to eat you."  I say, cutting you off.  Once again your body speaks
a different language and you move against me when I say the words.  "Then I
want to tongue fuck you." You moan and turn your face away, but I reach up
and gently tug at your chin until our eyes meet again.

"I can't promise you a lot of things about your first time making love like
that, but I can promise you that the way I do it..." After I'm sure that I
have your undivided attention I continue, "you're gonna love it."  I felt
you shiver.  I pulled back and looked at you.  I see a slight nod and I
smile and kiss you again, then my kisses begin to move south.  Detours to
soft, alert nipples were made then down I went, and even lower...then lower
still...then you were squirming beneath me.

"Don," you growl.

"So anxious..."  I murmur then my tongue slid out and moved over you
completely.  I moaned into your flesh and had to hold of on eating you into
a frenzy.  You tasted sweet.  Not tart, not tangy.  Simply sweet, I saw a
lot of nights down here in my near future.

I began a slow rhythm with my tongue and your hands moved to my shoulders,
squeezing in rhythm.  I dipped my tongue to your entrance and felt you go
tense in anticipation but I moved away with a smirk and pulled your clit
into my mouth.  I wanted to make you insane tonight.  I wanted to make her
come hard just to show you that she could.  I was feeling quite cocky.  I
began to move my tongue over you again and found a particularly sensitive
spot right below her clit that made you pull me into your tight body but
didn't give release.  I hummed as I felt her getting wetter.  I pulled your
essence up with my tongue and swore it tasted different as you became more
aroused.  I worked that spot until you were moaning loudly into my bedroom,
writhing beneath me, holding my head in place as your hips grinded against
my mouth.

Then and only then did I slide my fingers into your ready and slick center.
You jerked then began to move with me.  I played with you, pulling you
close then pulling away.

You were going crazy.  You were mumbling god knows what into the darkness
and then I had to go and hit the spot.

Your body tensed as I rubbed over it again. You seemed to stretch beneath
me then I hit it again, then again and you screamed out and I felt a stream
hit my chin.  My lips immediately began to suck of you hard.  I was going
to work you over.  I was on a mission and I had something to prove.  You'd
never forget your first time.

I was licking you as if my life depended on it, trying to get every trace
of your arousal but of course only creating more.

I was in heaven and if you hadn't inched away from me asking for mercy, I'd
still be right there, between your legs.

I moved up and gathered your weak body in my arms.  "Don...Don..." You were
trying to say something but your eyes were already heavy and closing.

"I know.  Go to sleep baby.  I'm right here."  You held onto me and then
arms loosened and I entangled our limbs in a need to be closer.

I closed my eyes and thanked the heavens for you.  You hadn't told me that
she loved me that night.  Or the next morning.  No.  It took a while for
you to finally admit what had been slapping you in the face since the first
day.

But you did tell me the word that made me aware of your love.  And you told
me it quite often, though I often replied you that you had it backwards.

"Beautiful," You whispered as you fell to sleep.

"Beautiful," I echoed.