Date: Wed, 7 Feb 2007 11:07:46 -0800 (PST)
From: Lex <builder618@yahoo.com>
Subject: dazed/dazed 12

You guys know the drill, if this is illegal, offensive, or not what you're
looking for, you've been warned.  For everyone else, please enjoy.  The
author retains all rights to and title to her submitted works. Any attempts
to recopy or repost these words must have granted permission by the author.
This story is mostly fictional; any resemblance to
people/places/things/events is totally by mistake.  Lastly, feedback,
whether negative or positive is very much appreciated.  Please email your
comments to builder618@yahoo.com.  Thanks for reading.  Enjoy!

	Life is filled with little interruptions.  They always seem to
occur at just the wrong time for me, i.e. Jayce's interruption of what I
thought was going to turn into a very pleasant and sexy afternoon with
Sean.  But of course, THAT was interrupted.  Anyway, enough of the tirade,
we'd made it to my house in record time and zoomed into my room, tearing
each other's clothes off in the process.  Our mouths met like they were
magnetically charged and our bodies were as close as we could possibly get
them, not wanting an inch to separate us.  I pushed Sean back on the bed
and dove in, leaving wet, sloppy kisses along her inner thighs and felt her
muscles contract and relax as she moaned.  I made my way to her dripping
slit and took a long, lingering swipe with my tongue.  She grabbed my hair,
pulling my mouth closer to her dripping pussy, telling me in no uncertain
terms that now was not the time to tease.  Never one to deny a lady
anything, I began to tongue fuck her in earnest as little screams started
to issue from her lovely mouth.  Replacing my tongue with my fingers, I
sucked her clit into my mouth, I felt it throb and swell and swell and
swell until ..........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
F-F-F-F-LEX<gasp>.......Lex.......<moan>.  As her screams echoed around the
room and her thighs clamped around my head, I was rewarded with a flood of
her juice, tasting as delicious as the first time I sampled.

      By the time I'd brought Sean to paradise and back at least five
times, she was passed out in a boneless pile of satiety in the middle of my
bed and man did she look goooooooooooooooooood!  Unfortunately, it was time
to make my escape, although I was loathe doing so.  But I knew the thing
that would make her feel like her old self again wasn't molten hot sex that
obliterated all reason.  Even if it did come close.  It was her blue,
green, and white Ninja.

	Detangling myself was a feat worthy of a contortionist, but I
managed without disturbing Sleeping Beauty.  Throwing on a beater, I
grabbed a set of work clothes, changed and was out the door.  I had a lot
of work to do and no time to do it in.  Before losing myself in Sean, we
had half rolled, half dragged her ninja in my garage.  Looking at the pile
of twisted metal, I felt heartbroken.  It was like seeing a defaced piece
of classical art.  I HAD to make this bike's big boo-boo's go away.
Mentally ticking off the stuff I'd need, I realized I couldn't do this by
myself.  I needed new fenders, rims, tires, the engine needed to be looked
over for damage, gas tank needed to be repainted, dents repaired, and the
exhaust redone.  I think the only thing on the bike that was still whole
was the seat!

	I called J.T., explained the situation, and he was at my house in
five with his pickup.  We loaded the bike in with minimal difficulty and we
were off to my bud Kim's bike shop.  Kim is a like a little sis to me and
Chase.  She seems kinda tough, but has a heart of gold and woe betided
anyone that screwed with her or her current chica.  But she is the best
person I could possibly turn to when I'm under the wire and just don't have
the tools or the time I need to finish such a big job.  We made it to her
shop, the Queen's Diamond in no time at all.  We unloaded the bike and I
dragged the maimed cycle in to see if it could be salvaged.

      "OMG!  What the bloody hell did you do?" a voice full of shock,
horror, and with a majorly sexy English accent exclaimed.

	"Hello to you to Kim.  What?  No kiss hi?"

	Kim looked sheepish.  Her girl Sal walked in, gave Kim a kiss which
got the shocked looked off her face, and gave me the same treatment.  Once
the pleasantries were over, I explained what happened.  They both knew Nic
and knew that this was something she was capable of, but unlike me, didn't
have that "I'll kick her ass" reaction that I usually do.  So, in no time
flat, we were operating on Sean's Ninja.

	I don't know about you, but the feeling of beating dents out of a
fender releases an awful lot of stress.  Of course, after I'd unleashed
myself on the unoffending piece of metal, it was pretty much useless for
its job as a fender.  WHOOPSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Kim saw the fender, rolled
her eyes and just shook her head.  I, at least, managed to look slightly
sheepish and repentant.  But of course, didn't mean any of it.

	Luckily for me, Sal had finished a new set of tins that matched the
color scheme on Sean's bike.  Sean's Ninja had to be repainted, since the
damage done to the paint job was too extensive to touch up.  Kim had just
added a new paint booth to her store, and I was the first christen it.
Instead of the tornado-like swirl of blues, greens, and white that Sean had
had before, Sal and Kim came up with this crested wave motif in her
original color scheme that matched the tins to perfection.  To keep with
that beachy/oceany theme, Sal added a female surfer on the tank.  After the
body work was done, parts put together and on the bike, and fluids put in,
we crossed our fingers, turned the key and hoped the engine would roar to
life.  And boy did it!  The new set of pipes and motor work Kim and I had
done made it purr like a lioness.  That sound was music to my ears.  I
don't know what it is, but the roar of a finely tuned machine gets me every
time.  Weird, I know, but hey, I've seen people get excited over weirder,
so commit me, why don't you.

	A Ninja roar? You may or not be thinking.  Well, it's definitely
NOT a Harley, but they aren't (at least mine isn't) whiney like a typical
crotch rocket.  Anyway, Sean's newly resuscitated Ninja was ready to leave
its hospital bay that Friday, which was perfect because I could unveil it
and she could play with it all weekend and me hopefully.  Friday dawned and
geez it was fricken cold!  But at least it wasn't raining, although the
large, gray clouds looming overhead may have been some indication that my
relief was going to be short-lived.  But I was hoping the rain would hold
off until after Sean had tested out her bike.

	My classes couldn't go by fast enough, but it was my last one of
the day, History of Whatever that just about killed me.  I guess my
impatience was rearing its head, because Chase and Bri kept looking at me
funny as I fidgeted and checked my watch.
12:45...........12:47..........12:48....12:55...........12:59....1:03.....1:15....FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I burst out of the class, unable to contain my excitement and impatience
for a moment longer.

	Racing to the Trailblazer, I hopped in and flew out of the parking
lot like I was involved in a high speed chase.  Grabbing bike leathers, I
raced out of my house and almost knocked Sean down.  Whoopsie, (never
bruise the merchandise).  Anyway, Sean followed me into the garage where I
kept my bikes and just looked at me when she saw the sheet-covered mass.
With a stupidly sweet grin on my face, I gave a tug and the sheet cascaded
into a pile on the cement floor, unveiling what I hoped would be Sean's new
pride and joy.  The shock on her face was priceless, as was the kiss she
pinned me to the wall with.

	"Lex?  Hey, Lex, wake up!"

	I lifted my head, jolted out of my dream.  Blearily looking around,
I realized I was at Chubby's, a bar close to campus and not with Sean as
she went through fifteen different emotions after she saw her "new" bike
and then the very much enjoyable thank you.  I looked at my tormentor,
unconsciously balling my fist, ready to beat the shit out of whoever took
me out of my sweet, alcohol-induced, dream land and threw me into the
unrelenting and unwanted harshness of reality.  I just looked at `Dria, a
vision in Hollister jeans and a black polo, then turned back to the bar,
blindly reaching for the bottle of Cuervo Gold I knew would be there, and
ignored the shot glass next to it.  As I went to take a swig, I found the
bottle being roughly snatched away.

	"What the fuck is your problem?!  Would you just leave me the hell
alone?" I demanded angrily.

	"You've been drunk for a month straight.  I've been looking for
you, hoping you'd stop this kick you've been on" she said calmly placing
the bottle out of my reach.

	"You're point is?  Give me the FUCKING bottle back!"

	"No, I'm leaving and you're coming with me."  Seeing I wasn't
budging, `Dria continued.  "Come and get your bottle Lex.  Is that all you
have?  Just this glass bottle of tequila?  Hmmm?  What would your twin say?
Bri?  Sean?  Toni?"

      I closed my eyes in pain.  A headache began to pound, and my body's
various aches and pains finally began penetrating the fog in my brain.  It
came back in a rush, me puking my guts up the day before New Year's, Chase
and the gang deciding to go out without me for New Year's Eve, the phone
call early the next day saying Chase and Toni were being rushed to the
hospital, the rest dead on impact, the car totaled, getting to hospital and
finding out that everyone I had held dear was dead.  Not being able to see
my twin and then having to explain it to my family and friends, choking
back tears, crying was not something I could bring myself to do.  The wake
and scattering their ashes, no graves to cry over, still tearless, rising
to Nic's bait and almost getting the shit beat out of me, and then nothing
except an unrelenting ache that goes soul deep.  Then just sweet oblivion,
the golden swirl of Cuervo in a shot glass at first, then straight out of
the bottle, feeling it burn down my throat, as I'd go from bar to bar and
drink myself into welcome oblivion.

      I opened my eyes and met her gray-contacted ones, finally showing
someone the pain I felt.  She cocked her head towards the door, and I
mutely followed.  We ended up at the house I share......shared with my twin
and everyone else.  'Dria killed the ignition on her Charger and just
looked at me.  I saw my Trailblazer parked in its usual spot, everyone
else's vehicles having been reclaimed by their parents.  It looked empty,
desolate.

      For the first time it hit me, they were gone and not coming back.  I
blinked back tears, not allowing the sob that was trying to climb out of my
throat.  `Dria went to grab me and I shrugged her arms away, instead
bolting out of the car and running headlong to my room.  Nothing had
changed in the two weeks of barely being there; it still had the typical
college student stuff, along with various sports paraphernalia, etc.  Not
wanting to talk, I headed off to the shower, figuring I could refocus and
figure out exactly what she wanted from me since I had absolutely no idea.

	My month's occupancy of a Jose Cuervo bottle hadn't done that much
damage to my body, just had bruises where there weren't any before and my
eyes were puffy, so I guess I could have done a lot more to myself.  The
cold water cleared the rest of the alcoholic fog from me and I realized
what a bitch tequila could be.  My fault of course, but they say hindsight
is.....well, after thirty-one days of drinking, I guess I was lucky I could
remember my own name, so I couldn't for the life of me remember how that
saying went.  Once I'd gotten the bar dust off me and felt semi-human, I
stepped out, threw on sweats and t-shirt, not really giving a crap as to
what I looked like, since I felt so shitty on the inside, and walked out to
see why `Dria had roused me out of my welcome stupor.

	"Sorry there isn't actual food.  I have beer, tequila, water, soda,
or iced tea if you want."  Entertaining had not been something I'd
consciously thought of and as such, my pantry and fridge were as bare as
Mother Hubboard's when she tried to give her dog a bone.

	She shook her head and looked at me, not talking, disapproval at my
behavior evident in her posture.

	I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Getting more pissed off by the
second, I went to the fridge looking for something, anything to ease the
ache I felt inside.  I needed to get away, to find something that could
help the hurt I felt.  I needed my twin back.  Without Chase, it felt as
though a part of me died and I was constantly reaching for it, then feeling
the absolute emptiness of her absence.  Finding another bottle of Cuervo, I
snagged it and turned to face my tormentor.  Her finely arched eyebrows
knit, a frown marring her forehead as she focused on the bottle in my hand.

	"Sure you don't want some?"

	"Put the bottle down Lex.  Talk to me.  Getting shit-faced isn't
gonna solve this or make anything go away."

	I looked at the bottle clenched in my fist and back to her, then
back to the bottle.  I could practically feel the slight taste of vanilla
on my tongue and the sting as it burned its way down my throat.  But then I
looked at 'Dria, disappointment and hurt evident in her eyes.  Mentally
kicking myself, I put the bottle back and looked at her, arms crossed over
my chest.

	"What do you want from me?"

	"I want you to stop this.  You're gonna kill yourself.  I heard
about that stunt you pulled a few days ago.  Are you out of your fucking
mind?!  Why the hell were you riding the wrong way down the road on your
Ninja?  Did you not realize you could have DIED?  Did you not realize that
you're hurting everyone else around you by not letting them in?  Let us
help you!  Let go and cry, its ok.  It doesn't make you less of a person."

	"Who am I hurting?  There is no one.  All I am is an object, a
piece of meat to be used and discarded when an orgasm hits.  Crying's
overrated anyway.  I'm not weak and I hate it when I cry.  Just leave
before you get hurt to.  It's my fault their dead.  If I wasn't such a
pussy, I would have insisted on going and they'd still be here!"

      I'd moved out of arms reach, holding myself tighter, secretly hoping
she wouldn't leave.  Now that I wasn't lost in an alcoholic haze, all the
sharp points of what happened just seemed to penetrate even more and I
didn't want to be alone.  I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't
realize 'Dria had moved and was wrapping her arms around me.  I felt the
press of her body on mine and almost lost it right there.  Not knowing
exactly what I was doing I held her as tight as she was holding me.  It
wasn't until I felt myself start to relax and nuzzle into her neck as her
hands went from holding to caressing that I broke away.

	"I'm sorry.  I-I-I can't do this............we're just friends,
remember?" I babbled and ran, leaving her in the middle of my kitchen, a
stunned look on her face.  I jumped into my Trailblazer and sped off as my
eyes filled with tears, not caring where I was going, only that I had to
get out and away before the dam inside me broke, and I crossed the line
from friendship to something else.

	I drove for an hour before finally pulling off into a park.  It was
freezing and I'd forgotten a jacket.  I didn't feel the cold, though; I was
too wrapped up in my own thoughts.  I sat on one of the tire swings, not
really seeing anything.  I felt numb.  A thousand unanswered questions were
swirling around and I had the solution to none.  Why did I run?  Why did I
get drunk for a month and act like an ass?  Why am I still here and my real
"family" is dead?  I felt the wind in my face, causing my eyes to tear, I
could still feel where 'Dria's body pressed into mine, where her hands had
touched, and started cursing myself for a fool.

	A few days passed.  Everyone told me to get back into things since
neither my twin nor anyone else I'd lost would have wanted me to be
miserable.  So I did, but it wasn't the same.  I went to parties, but hung
back.  I had even more girls lined up wanting to dance, to talk, to get
laid, and to just grab me then usual.  But it wasn't the same.  There was
no fun.  Even working on my 1955 Thunderbird Convertible didn't help.  Two
months went by, the semester was nearing its end, and I kept seeing the
stricken look in 'Dria's face as I left her standing in the middle of my
kitchen.  The look in her eyes haunted me.  I'd called her afterwards to
apologize but got a voicemail, I knew she was pissed at me and she had
every right to be.  She was in three-quarters of my classes, and on the
occasions where we did have to work together, that spark that was always
lingering under the surface was gone, and it was strictly a working
partnership.  Every offer to grab dinner or something after studying or
finishing a late night project was rebuffed and I couldn't blame her.  But
I just couldn't get her out of my head.  I found myself surrounding myself
with people that had similar physical traits, gray contacts, black hair,
brown skin, expressive face in an attempt to get her out of my system.
That certainly didn't work.

	The ache was still there; sometimes a dull ache, other times sharp
and penetrating, to such an extent that it made me want to curl up into a
ball.  I don't think that will ever go away.  The end of February we were
hit by a big snow storm.  The roads were a mess.  It was freezing.  I was
cruising along the highway, enjoying my 4-wheel drive when I noticed a
Charger off on the side of the road, listing to the side.  I pulled over;
it was 'Dria, struggling to change her tire.  I nudged her over, gave her
my gloves to warm her hands up, and completed the job faster than she could
have.

	"You didn't have to do that," she said flatly.

	"I don't have to do a lot of things, I wanted to.  Can we talk?"

	"Why?  So you can run off?  They were my friends to!  How in the
hell do you think I felt when you told me?  You won't even let me help you!
I can see you're hurting; anyone that knows you can see it.  It's in your
eyes, at the sake of sounding like a RENThead........but it is."

	"Please?" I begged.

	"NO!  Leave me alone!"

	She turned, and sped off.  Going to one of the clubs that night
with Juls and Sheldon, I nursed a beer, stuck in my own misery.  Carly, the
bartender, gave me a bottle of Cuervo and a shot glass, saying I looked
liked I needed to lose myself for a while.  I smiled a smile I didn't feel
and mumbled my thanks.  She walked away, always within earshot in case I
wanted to talk.

	"Getting back into bad habits, I see.  Lex----"

	Before I could finish, this petite blonde walked up, grabbed Lex,
and dragged her to the dance floor.  She tried to walk off, but was
promptly turned into a Lex sandwich by the blonde and her friend.  Now that
pissed me off, why I have no idea, because she certainly wasn't mine to get
jealous over, at least not anymore.  Sheldon and Juls looked at me, but I
waved them off.  I made my way to the dance floor with only two numbers
shoved down my shirt, and began to interrupt the grind fest.  I could see
Lex trying to make sure the two chicks that accosted her were having a good
time, but there was no real enjoyment on her face.  As the girl in front of
her dropped it, I spun Lex out and into a corner, leaving two very hot
girls very, very bewildered.

	"Thanks.  What's up?  I don't think you would have come out here
just to save me from a couple chicks."

	Lex was leaning against the wall, looking at me warily, as though I
was about to go off on a rampage and strike her.  I couldn't help but feel
a little jealous after seeing those two chicks all up on her, so still
holding onto her hand, I leaned in and laid one on her.  I pinned her to
the wall with my body, using my lips and tongue to beg entrance to her
mouth.  I tangled my fingers in her hair, relishing the softness and the
little moans that issued from her large and very lovely lips.  Her tongue
twined with mine and for a brief second I felt happy, then went back to
focusing on the task at hand.

	"'Dria's kissing me.  What the hell?"  Was my first thought, my
second was, "damn I need this-------NO, can't do it!"  I pushed her away,
panting, scanning her face for a hint of a reason of why she just attacked
me like that.  'Dria was the one that wanted to be friends............what
changed now?  I looked her in the eyes and started to tear up.  I had to
get away, fucking emotions!  I just didn't know what to do or how to feel.
I needed a drink.......no, I needed my twin and she was gone forever.  Again
I left 'Dria with a stricken look on her face, but this time I heard a
"DON'T GO!" as I made my way out of the club, got into the Trailblazer,
threw it into drive and bawled, not caring where I was going, just knowing
that I had to get out.

To be continued....