Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 06:23:01 -0500 (EST)
From: Secret Dreamer <dreamsecret@poetic.com>
Subject: Fall Down and Smile - 14

It's the long awaited Chapter 14!!!  I'm soo sorry it took a month.
Eek! I had massive writer's block!  It sucked!  But I think it's over
now. Yay!

Chapter 15 won't be up for at least two weeks.  I'm leaving for England
on Wednesday and I won't be back until March 11th.  I'm hoping that I'll
have Chapter 15 and maybe 16 written by the time I come home but I make
no promises.

Thank you SOO much for being so patient, though.  I haven't gotten any
death threats ;).  I really hope this doesn't happen again.  Anyways,
thanks for all your encouraging e-mails.  It means a lot.  I'm really
sorry I haven't been replying.  It's a long, weird story.

On with the usual.

Wanna know when the story & the site are updated?  :
<brainwashedsecretdreamerfollowers-subscribe@egroups.com> - why'd they have
to move us to yahoo?  Yeeuck.

Wanna get to the neat website with more stories on it? :
<http://envy.nu/poisonthorns> - I'm in the process of wondering if I should
move the site.  Envy.nu is down sometimes and some people can't get to
it.  *sigh*  We'll see.

Wanna get in contact with me? : <dreamsecret@poetic.com> - still the
same.  Not changing.

Chapter 14
"Hanging by a moment"
By: Secret Dreamer <dreamsecret@poetic.com>

I'm falling even more in love with you

	Dawn had been shooting for a few weeks now.  It was weird not
having her around but it was worth it just to see the exhausted, but
happy glow emanating from her.  And everyday she came home with a story
to tell.

	James was starting to open up again.  He wasn't as quiet anymore.
His shrill laugh often filled the house while he was playing with Teddy
and their dog, Pooh.  It was good to see him happy again.

	I spent most of my days looking for a house near Teddy and Kat
and Jonathan and Adam. And, a house by the beach like I had promised
James.  I took a lot of pictures of him.  Mostly when he was lying on
the living room floor or sitting with Pooh.

	Sometimes, I'd just watch him sleep and I'd smile for hours,
remembering when he was a baby.  How small he had been but so
beautiful.

	Tali would be here soon.  Well, if you call six months soon. Dawn
still wasn't showing.  I certainly was at three months.  But I had to
remind myself that she was carrying one baby and I had been carrying
two.

	I used to wonder if it was possible to be in love with someone
you've never met.  Now, I know it's true. I had known during my own
pregnancy.  I would sit in one of the arm chairs in the house and
stroke my large belly for hours, just making sure they were still
there.  It had all come back.  Getting stronger every day that I saw
Dawn lovingly rub her belly.  Yes, I was in love.  In love with Dawn,
and in love with the little girl growing inside her.

	James was, too.  Every night he would climb onto the couch
between us and talk to her.  He had a dreamy look on his face every
time.  Dawn and I would smile at each other, her eyes shimmering with
tears.

	Tonight was one of those nights.  He was softly caressing Dawn's
small bulge and whispering to Tali.

	Her hand was in mine as I read.  Teddy and Kat were already
upstairs.

	James yawned and kissed Dawn's stomach where he presumed Tali's
head was.  "Good night, Tali," he whispered.

	I put down my book.  "Ready for bed, Sprout?"

	He nodded.  "Good night, Dawn," he kissed her cheek before
sliding to the floor and running up the stairs.

	She and I got up and followed after him.

	"Do you think he'll ever look at me as more than your friend?"
Dawn asked.

	"He knows we're together as more than friends, Sugar."

	She sighed.  "I know.  He just seems so awkward when he's around
me.  Except when he's talking to Tali."

	I smiled softly and gave her hand a squeeze. "Give him time.
He's been through a lot. More than any five year old should have to go
through."

	She nodded.  "You're right," she grinned.  "You always are."

	I chuckled.  "Well, I try."

	She laughed and wrapped her arms around me at the top of the
stairs.  "Thanks," she yawned.  "I'm going to head to bed.  My feet are
killing me."

	"I'll be in after I tuck James in."

	She nodded and disappeared into the bedroom.

	I shook my head and knocked on James' open door before entering.

	He was nestled in bed with Fred, his stuffed tiger.  It's white
and orange fur was matted and warn from all its use.  I was pretty sure
he had been on double duty lately.

	I sat on the side of his bed and tucked the blankets around him.

	He grinned sleepily.

	"Did you brush your teeth?"

	He nodded.

	"Good."

	"Mommy?"

	"Hmm?"

	"Am I going to school?  Daddy said I'd go to school this year."

	I brushed a piece of hair from his forehead.  "Do you want to go
to school?"

	He shrugged.  "I don't know.  I guess it could be fun.  What
would I learn?"

	"Lots of stuff.  The alphabet, some spelling, that sort of
thing."

	He wrinkled his nose.  "But I already know the alphabet.  And I
know how to spell my whole name.  And I can read."

	I chuckled.  "There's more to kindergarten than that.  You can
meet kids your own age."

	"Do I have to?"

	I kissed his forehead.  "Yes.  But not until we find a house."

	"By the beach.  You promised!"

	"By the beach, as promised.  Don't worry, I haven't forgotten.
Maybe we'll look at houses this weekend.  You can come if you want."

	He nodded wildly.

	I grinned.  "Alright then.  Now, my little Prince.  You need to
go to sleep."

	He yawned.  "Okay.  I love you, Mommy."

	"I love you, too, James," I kissed his forehead.

	He held up the tiger.  "Don't forget Fred!"

	I nuzzled his fur and kissed his nose.  "I love you, too, Fred."

	Satisfied, he pulled Fred closer and snuggled farther into the
blankets.

	"Good night, Sprout."

	"Good night, Mommy."

	I got up and turned off the light.  I left the door open as I
sauntered to the bedroom.

	Dawn was already asleep.

	I smiled and kissed her cheek before going into the adjoining
bathroom.  I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and threw my hair into a
braid.

	I undressed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top.
Struggling to keep my eyes open, I climbed into bed next to Dawn.  I
shut off the light and snuggled up against her.  Seconds later, I was
in a peaceful sleep.

*******

I'm closer to where I started

	Dawn stayed home the next day.  The set was being constructed for
tomorrow so the director had given her the day off.

	Kat came out into the backyard where we were sitting in one of
the lawn chairs enjoying each other's company and watching James splash
around the pool with Pooh.

	She ran up waving an envelope.  "Guess what this is!"

	I shrugged.

	"You've been committed?" Dawn guessed with a grin.

	Kat rolled her eyes.  "It's for Iya!"

	"Than how do you know what it is?" I inquired.

	"I didn't open it!"  She protested.  "I looked at the return
address."

	"Well, whose it from?"

	She kept smiling and handed it to me.

	I chuckled.  It was a plain white envelope but the contents wold
be life changing.  I sliced open the seal and read the enclosed letter.
A grin spread across my face.  I handed Dawn the letter.

	Her eyes grazed over the printing before she threw her arms
around me and we kissed.

	Kat snatched the letter and read it herself.  "I was right," she
grinned and sat down in the other lawn chair.

*******

There is nothing else to find

	I stood in the kitchen reading over the letter for the twentieth
time.  I couldn't get over it.  I had a copyright.  I smiled dreamily
at the possibilities.  Publishing.  Book signings.  Book tours.  I fell
into a chair at the kitchen table and sighed.  It was all coming
together now.

	Dawn came in and made a beeline for the fridge.  She may not have
been showing, but her appetite had doubled considerably.  She took a
pint of Ben & Jerry's from the freezer and sat next to me.  "Hi,
Muffin."

	I smiled, still not looking up from the letter.  "Hi Doll."

	She wrinkled her nose.  "I never liked that."

	"What? Doll?"

	She nodded and shoved a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.
Her eyes rolled back slightly as she smiled.  "Ben & Jerry's: A girls
best friend."

	"I never knew you didn't like being called that."

	She shrugged.  "It's not a big problem or anything.  I was just
relieved when you stopped calling me that."

	I grinned.  "Kay, pookie."

	She rolled her eyes and groaned.  "So has the letter changed at
all?"

	I chuckled.  "No."

	"When can you send your book out to publishers?"

	"As soon as the rest has been edited.  Probably by the end of the
week.  I've found some stuff I want to add."

	She nodded.  "Lemme know when you're done so I can read it."

	I turned to her and cocked my head.  "Who said you could read
it?"

	"Well, I just sort of assumed," she remarked, eating another
spoonful.

	I dipped out some with my finger and shook my head.  "You're not
allowed to read it."

	She pouted.  "Why?"

	"Because.  Just because."

	She frowned.  "Fine.  I'll just sneak a copy when you publish it
and read it."

	I grinned.  "Okay."

	"Come on, Iya!" she pleaded.  "I want to read it!"

	"Nope."

	"You know, I can just go into your computer and try to read it."

	I nodded.  "Go ahead.  It's upstairs."

	She stuck her tongue out at me and started toward the stairs,
humming.

	I took the pint that she had left on the table and began eating
it myself.  I smiled.  "Ben and Jerry's really is a girl's best
friend," I thought gleefully and put my feet on the opposite chair.  I
melted into the flavors and barely noticed the heavy, angry footsteps
on the stairs.

	She smacked me across the back of the head.  "Its password
protected!"

	I grinned through another spoonful of chocolate chip cookie
dough.  "I know."

	She growled and grabbed the pint out of my hands.

	"Hey!"

	She stuck her tongue out again and went back outside.

	I chuckled and followed after her, leaving the letter behind.

	She sat down in the lawn chair and pouted as she ate.

	I grinned and walked over to her.  I nestled myself next to her
in the chair and put my head on her shoulder.  I pouted up at her.

	She made a 'humph' noise and kept eating, her eyes going back to
my face every few chews.   Finally, she sighed and smiled at me.

	I kissed her, tasting the ice cream on her lips.  "You can't read
it because I know you to well."

	"Huh?"

	I sighed. "You might tell me you like it when you really hate
it," I explained.

	"That's a stupid reason!" she protested.

	"No it's not.  You'll just have to deal," I retorted, leaning
back in the chair.

	She grumbled and stabbed at the ice cream.

	I crossed my arms and looked past her at the pool.  James was
sitting on the side, kicking his feet lightly.  "How's the water?"  I
called.

	He gave a thumbs up and stared back into the hypnotic movement of
the chlorinated water.

	Dawn was staring at me when I refocused.  "Hm?"

	She sat up, spread my legs and nestled herself between them.  She
leaned against my chest and sighed.

	I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her waist.

	Her hands covered mine and her head moved to my shoulder where I
suppose she could look at James and me.  "I love you."

	I kissed her and put my head on hers.  "I love you, too."

	She snuggled deeper against me and closed her eyes.  "Let's just
stay like this forever."

	I chuckled.  "Okay."

	She yawned.

	"Mommy?"

	I looked at James who was standing next to the chair.  "You want
to join us?"

	He nodded shyly.

	I grinned and opened up my arms.

	He smiled and climbed into Dawn's lap.  He closed his eyes and
yawned.

	I closed my arms around both of them and rocked slightly.  I
wanted this moment to last forever.

*******

Just hanging by a moment here with you

	I opened my eyes, surprised that I had fallen asleep.  Dawn and
James were still asleep.  I checked my watch but we had only been out
for a little over an hour.  I shook them slightly.  "Wake up," I
whispered.

	Dawn shuddered and blinked first.  She gazed up at me and smiled.
"What time is it?"

	"About 6."

	She nodded.

	James stirred slightly and yawned before opening his eyes.  He
was still drowsy.  "I'm hungry."

	Dawn got up and stretched.

	I put James on my back and we walked into the house.

	Teddy and Kat were busy  making dinner.  They smiled at us.
"Afternoon sleepy heads," Teddy laughed.

	 James' head was on my shoulder and it sounded like he was
already asleep again.

	"What's for dinner?"  Dawn asked.

	"Just tacos," Teddy said simply as he stirred the meat on the
stove.

	Kat was cutting tomatoes and grating cheese.

	"Is there anything we can do?" I asked.

	Teddy nodded.  "Put him to sleep on the couch.  We can wake him
when we're finished."

	I agreed silently and made my way into the living room.  I placed
him on the sofa and put a light afghan on top of him.  He snuggled and
smiled in his sleep.  I grinned at him and moved his hair off his
forehead.

	Teddy was putting the cooked beef in a bowl when I returned to
the kitchen.  Dawn was busily setting the table.  Kat was putting the
chopped vegetables and grated cheese into smaller bowls.

	"Sit," Dawn demanded.

	I furrowed my brow and shrugged, sitting down and yawning.

	She kissed me and handed me a cup of water.  I thanked her and
sipped it slowly.  The cool liquid felt good splashing down my parched
throat.

	"Let's let James sleep," Dawn suggested.

	I looked back at the sofa and nodded.  He had had an exhausting
day.

	Dawn sat next to me at the table and Kat sat down while Teddy
retrieved the taco shells from the cabinet.  He sat beside Kat and
smiled sweetly at her.

	I took Dawn's hand in mine and massaged the back of it with my
thumb.

	She leaned over and kissed my cheek before the food started to
move around the table.

*******

I'm living for the only thing I know

	I tucked James into his bed later that night.  He was still sound
asleep.  I could only hope that he slept through the rest of the night.
He instinctively curled up and grabbed for Fred.  The tiger obliged and
curled around his grasp.

	I kissed both of them good night and wandered back downstairs.

	Dawn was sitting on the sofa reading a book.  I lay down next to
her, my head in her lap and took my own book from the back of the sofa
where I'd left it.  I started reading as I felt Dawn's hand rest on my
head.  Her fingers ran smoothly through my hair.  I smiled and kept
reading, enjoying the feel of her.

	I was thoroughly engrossed in my book when I heard a snap.  I
looked up and saw Kat grinning behind a camera.

	"You guys are full of good pictures today," she smiled.  "You
should go to bed.  It's almost 10."

	I nodded and looked up at Dawn who was already asleep.  I
chuckled and shook her lightly.  "Wake up, pookie."

	She wrinkled her nose and frowned before opening her eyes.  "What
time is it?"

	"10.  Come on, I'll help you to bed."

	She nodded and let me pull her up.  We walked slowly up the
stairs.  Her skin was hot against my own.

	"Iya?"

	"Hm?"

	"Thanks."

	"For what?"

	"For being you."

	"I love you."

	"I love you too."

	I helped Dawn into bed and slid in after her.  We wrapped our
arms around each other and fell asleep.

Forgetting all I'm lacking. Completely incomplete. I'll take your
invitation. You take all of me now.

--

Well, it's end of another chapter.  Wow.  We're at 14 chapters.  Hehe.
Maybe we should have a party when we get to 20. :)  Have a beautiful
day!

Don't forget to smile,
Secret Dreamer <dreamsecret@poetic.com>  <http://envy.nu/poisonthorns>