Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 23:13:18 -0800 (PST) From: Lira Feliciano <yoannarouge@yahoo.com> Subject: stay by my side ch.3 I cant believe what I've read, the person who send this message is not like the person I woke up earlier, so I bought lunch for two and told it for to go. "Hey where are you going?" Kyla asked "Sorry guys, I have to go, something came up, I have to hurry so I wont be late for the next period." I explained "Ok... see you later then" so I hurried to Berkley and went to my room. I saw Stephanie still in her night clothes, sitting straight on the edge of her bed looking out the window. "I saw you coming" She said still looking at the window "Why do you want to see me, did something happened?" I said grasping for breath, holding our lunch "I didn't go to class, I don't feel well" then I looked at her more, I'm really observing every bit of her body then I realized that she's slim and she looks weak "Did you eat? I brought some lunch" she looked at me and once again I felt my heart sink so I looked away "Not yet, thanks for bringing something" I walk towards her and hand her the sandwich and milk, she gratefully accepted "May I?" I said looking at the place beside her "Sure" so I sit beside her and together we eat lunch. We didn't talk, it's like we are ashamed to break the silence surrounding us. But I started "Are you always like this?" she look at me but I did not dare look at her "Yes" she said without hesitation "Do you have friends?" "No, not really" im surprised when she answers so formal, its like we are in an interview and its my chance to talk to her "Are you an only child?" "No, I have a brother and 2 sisters, im the youngest" "I'm an only child, its my first time to live away from my parents for this long so I kind of miss them" she did not react "Can I call you Steph?" "Sure" "You can call me Nori, everyone calls me that" "I don't want to" "Why?" "I don't like it" I'm starting to feel that she's really weird "Oh, ok, Noriko then" I look at my watch and its almost time for the next period "Steph I need to go, its almost time and I'm going to be late, see you later, I hope you get well" she looked at me and I stared into those eyes but this time I didn't feel anything, it seems like the strong eyes mellowed and its like thanking me, so I smiled at her and hurried to school. "Where did you go? you almost didn't make it." Kyla begins to interrogate me but I don't mind "At the dorm" "What did you do?" "I brought Steph lunch" she smiled "What? Why are you smiling?" "I don't get you, you told me earlier that your afraid of her and then when she asks you to bring her lunch you rush towards her, what are you, a maid?" "Actually she didn't ask me to bring her lunch, I volunteered, she said she wanted to see me so I went back, she's not feeling well when I got there, she missed class" "Oh, I see" "Hey, I cant come to dinner tonight, you know the situation right? I have to take care of her" "So you're her nurse now?" I punched her shoulders "I'm her room mate, somehow she's my responsibility" "Alright, I'm just joking" then she smiled at me and I smiled back After class I hurried home, I bought dinner at the cafeteria before I went upstairs. When I got there Steph is sleeping, so I put our dinner at the table and I walk towards her. I put my hand on her forehead to feel her temperature, its not hot so she doesn't have any fever, I also saw that she already change, she might took a bath. When I remove my hand and sat on my bed, she opened her eyes, im kind of surprised, I thought she is sleeping. "You startled me" I said grasping my chest "Come lay beside me" so discreet of her to tell me that, and I'm kinda amazed on how she handles me, although we've just met, its like there is a magnet that is dragging me to her and I cant hold back. "Why?" "I want to sleep" "Didn't you sleep all day?" "I cant sleep without someone beside me, I couldn't sleep last night and I couldn't sleep all day" I'm puzzled "Who are you sleeping with all this years?" "I have insomnia, I can only sleep if my mom is beside me or any person close to me, without them, I cant sleep" poor her... "Ok" so I went to her bed and lay beside her, and then she hugged me, burying her head to my body "When you wake up we'll have dinner, ok, then I'll just do some reading and then we could sleep again till late tomorrow since its Saturday, is it alright with you?" "Mmm hmm" she hummed while nodding her head, then her stiff body relaxed, that's when I know that she's asleep. I feel like sleeping so I took a nap. I suddenly woke up, thought that I was dreaming but there I was, on the bed hugged by a tiny person beside me, I smiled but then I was clueless on whats going on how could I possibly be sleeping beside her when we only know each other for one day. I slid off the bed slowly so not to wake her up, I went for a shower and maybe after that I could wake up Steph so we could eat. Then after that I put on my clothes and went to Steph. "Steph, wake up" this time she's sleeping for real coz when she opened her eyes, she cant look straight and she scratches her eyes to get a clear look of me "Hi" she said smiling, first time since I met her "Hi do you want to go down to eat?" "Sure" she agreed easily, its like she's never been this lively for how many days "Come on, then I can introduce you to Kyla and Frances" she looked at me quizzically "Who are they?" "They are my friends, when you're not here yet, they really want to know you" "Oh, Ok!" I can never tell, but its like she changed overnight which I'm happy about but I wonder what happened, is it really from lack of sleep that she cant get her mood set I mailed Kyla just to say I'll be coming to dinner and Steph is coming with me, they were excited to meet her, so after she changed we head to the lobby where they are waiting. I saw Kyla and she saw us so she waved at us, and I waved back. "Sorry for the late message, we just woke up" "Oh really" there is something in Kyla's smile which I ignored "Hey Nori" said Frances "Guys I want you to meet my room mate, Stephanie... Stephanie this is Kyla" I pointed to Kyla "And this lovely lady here is Frances" "Hi!" said Steph "It's nice to finally meet you" Kyla said with her face smiling at me "I'm not that lovely, Nori is exaggerating, she must have gotten it from Kyla" Frances apologized "No, you really are lovely" Steph said, her eyes also told Frances as she looked very serious "Well, thank you for that compliment" Frances said smiling "Come on lets go get some food" Kyla said impatiently The three of them easily get along each other, I'm not sure but somehow I see Frances flirt a little or is it just imagination, I ignored it otherwise. Kyla cant stop laughing all through dinner she seems to be enjoying our company. But then I have to tell them that I'm tired and I want to go to bed since its already eleven in the evening. We separated in the hallway and then Steph and I went to our room. "So! Did you have a great time?" I asked excitedly "Yeah, I really did but it kind of wear me off, I haven't got much sleep so I'm really, really tired" I understand what she wants so I went to her bed and I try to lay beside her but I kind of hesitated, then she looked at me with those tired eyes "Come here, from now on this will be our bed" I don't know what to say, I'm just voluntarily helping her to get over those moods, especially on me, even though she has changed over the hour but I'm still afraid of the other Steph that is in her "Are you sure? I might be disturbing you" Steph gave me a quizzical look "I wouldn't offer you this bed if your disturbing me, besides we're just sleeping together, what harm could it do?" I shrugged my shoulders and lay beside her, she seemed happy and hugged me like we've been roommates for so many years. And not before long she's now sound asleep, I'm much bigger than her so she looked like my younger sister. I have never cared for anyone until now so I don't know what to do, so I move away the hair on her face and tried to touch it. She is so beautiful and calm, unlike the other day, I feel comfortable being with her so not long enough I fell asleep too. The day goes by, Steph can now go to her classes because she got all the sleep she needed, it seems that she's not getting much sleep when she's at home because her parents are always away, she even got a therapist for her sleeping problem. They thought that keeping Steph busy will make her so tired and eventually she will get a good night sleep, but they are wrong, it only makes her body weak from being tired and lack of sleep. Steph is the youngest among the siblings, her mother didn't go to work to be able to take care of her children, and Steph being the youngest is the one who gets every attention that her mom can give since her brothers and sister are already grown up, they usually hang out with their friends. Steph is different, she's always with her mom wherever she goes, and since her father is in different state because of work, she spends the night with her mother, she is very content and very happy until her mother applied for a job. It makes her feel abandoned, her mother thinks that Steph is already going to junior high, she can actually have her life back and work. Since then, her mother started to go on out of town meetings leaving her children at home, but Steph misses her mom, so she began to develop insomnia. I have been noticing that when I'm reading late at night and Steph tells me that she's going to sleep, I cant make myself believe her, because she keeps on turning and it seems that she cant find a position for her to fell asleep. So I just read fast and then I'm going to bed, and that's the time she stops turning and just hugged me so she can fall asleep. Its so fun being with Steph especially when she's not groggy, she writes a lot being a literature student, she always show me her artistic side by spending time with each other at the lake and then read her poems a lot which I really enjoy. I don't know how she does it, writing all those poems, her short stories and studies, she's really a busy girl, not only that, she's also a group leader in her English class and then attends her after class clubs, so we just really got to see each other every night but then I have to study because I'm taking up Economics. So we just ended up sleeping together at night. "I haven't been able to see Steph for a while now, did something happened?" Frances asked kind of disappointed "Oh she just have so many things to do" "Oh..." then she sighed "So whats going on with the two of you?" Kyla asked "Nothing much, we just have the weekend to chat coz we really don't have time to talk since midterms is coming up, I have to study, so the only time we're together is when we sleep" Kyla is kind of taken aback "What do you mean? When you sleep?" and now I remember I didn't tell Kyla that we sleep in one bed "Steph has insomnia, she cant sleep without someone beside her" but it seems that it's a very big deal to Kyla "When did this happen?" she insited "Since the first day... no, actually its the second day" "Oh my god, I didn't know that you and Steph are that intimate with each other" I look at Kyla like there is a large question mark on my face "What are you saying?" "The fact that you told me you were afraid of Steph the first time you met her change all of a sudden, and now you two are sleeping in one bed, and then we didn't get to see Steph since she started going to class, tell me Nori is there something going on between you two other than sleeping?" "What are you talking about! There is nothing going on between me and Stephanie" but then a familiar voice spoke up "What's this something going on between us you say?" said Steph smiling and looking at us "Oh nothing." all that I can manage to say being shocked and all because of her sudden appearance, I also blushed which Kyla really noticed "So Steph, its nice to see you again!" Frances broke out "Sorry guys, I've been really busy" Kyla's look is somewhat mischievous so I'm kind of nervous on what she's going to say "I hope you're getting a lot of sleep because of your busy sched" "Yeah, its all thanks to Noriko, without her maybe I wont last in here" "Really?" Kyla seems to want to go somewhere with her reactions so I interrupted her "You know what, I'm tired and full maybe I should get upstairs" "Already? I just got here" Steph surprised "Are you hungry?" "Nah, I ate at school, I just came here to visit you guys, since you're going upstairs I might as well join you, I'm also tired anyway" "Ok guys, you two have fun!" I looked at Kyla knowing there's more to that message than it actually is. We went upstairs and when we finally settled Steph asked the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my entire life "So why didn't you tell Kyla about the two of us?" "What!?" I don't know what she's talking about, and what about us? "I mean what we had" "What do we have?" I don't want to hear anything she has to say coz I'm afraid of what she'll say "Oh, nothing..." she looked so down and then she can't look straight at me "Why? Are you alright? Is something wrong?" I asked concerned "Nothing, I'm tired, can we go to sleep" "Sure" I went beside her and we slept That night she didn't hug me, she was just there lying beside me with her back at me, I didn't notice if she fell asleep because I'm tired myself. But the next morning, she was up early and she left without saying a word to me and it seems that she didn't sleep well because of her eye bags showing on her face. Days went by and she still don't talk to me, but I can't ignore it anymore because she's showing so much tiredness and her face is starting to look sunken. Then the other side of Steph appeared again in front of me. "Steph, talk to me, midterms are over, you don't have any reason to be busy, look at you, haven't you been sleeping? The reason I'm sleeping beside you is that you could sleep but I guess it doesn't work anymore, can you tell what's the problem?" she looked at me and it pierce through my heart, it's the look I dread about, it's the look of hate "I cant tell you" well its better than yes or no "Why? You can tell me anything, don't keep it to yourself, you make me worry, I don't want to see you like this" I insisted "You really want to know?" "Yes!" she started to look nervous almost crying but then she blurted it out "I love you Noriko, but you don't love me back, and I can't take it, I changed a lot because of you, because you cared, but that's all you can give me." I'm shocked, the thing that I don't want to hear, finally heard, I'm speechless, I didn't know what to say, I tried to say something but no words can come out of my mouth. She cried, she cried hard that night, I tried to lay beside her to comfort her but she said "Please Noriko not now" so I went to my bed, thinking, not saying a word, I'm confused, but somewhere deep inside my heart is happy, so happy that me too cried that night at my own bed.