Date: Sat, 15 Apr 2006 18:04:50 -0400
From: B Special <thelastbroadcast01@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Fantasy Chapter 4

So I was cleaning up and found the beginning of this, the final chapter. I
figured it's been long enough and I might as well finish. So here it is. The
time away did allow me to add some closure, so it isn't all that bad. Thanks
to everyone who read The Fantasy and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much
as I enjoyed writing it, even though it took me three years to finish!

This is a mostly true story involving sexual situations between two women.
If you have a problem with this or shouldn't be reading, please don't. All
names have been changed. Neither "Jackie" nor I originally wrote the stuff
in the letter, although we wish we did. That was Tegan & Sara.


Jackie and I continued our relationship through the end of the school year.
We ended up being really good for each other. Almost every day, baring
homework, I would go with Jackie on her runs, either riding my bike or
rollerblading. I noticed a marked improvement in my health. She got me to
mostly quit smoking. It was hard at times but since she wouldn't kiss me if
I smelled like smoke, I quickly learned to cut back. I started dragging her
to the bar on Fridays. She was uncomfortable at first but warmed up to my
friends when she saw how fun they could be. We never lasted very late.
Neither of us really drank that much but once she had a few drinks in her
Jackie became pretty frisky. The normal Friday routine was to start at one
of the bars farthest from campus and move closer, stopping at two more
before the end of the night. It wasn't often that Jackie and I made it to
the final bar. She would flash me a quick look or wink and we'd just keep
walking to my apartment before the last stop. Kelly didn't come home on most
Friday nights and if she did, her and Joe were doing the same things we
were. Well, not the same, but you get my drift.

We were able to keep our relationship on the down low with the exception of
Kelly and Joe. I knew Kelly didn't care and, surprisingly, Joe thought we
were "cute". His words, not mine. When Jackie, Joe and I were at the
apartment and Kelly was not, he would ask for tips on to make Kelly happy.
We explained the importance of doing little things out of the blue and
catching her by surprise. Kelly had commented on how attentive Joe was being
and I don't think she realized Jackie and I were helping him. That is until
the time we gave him instructions as to how to please her orally. We got
busted, but Kelly wasn't complaining too much.

As the end of the year drew closer, Jackie and I spent most of our waking
hours together. We studied in her room and stayed there on school nights and
spent the weekends doing fun things together and sleeping at my place. It
got to the point where I missed her when we didn't stay together and I knew
this was no good since we would soon be going our separate ways. During the
last week of school we decided to have the serious talk about the future
that we had been avoiding.

"I don't even want to talk about this. I can't imagine leaving you and it
makes me feel sick every time I think about it." She was beginning to get
tears in her eyes as we sat on her bed. She couldn't even look at me.
"What's the point in talking about it, it's still going to hurt just as much
when we have to say goodbye."

I took her hands and forced her to look up at me. "Hey, I know how hard it's
going to be. But believe me, we're going to go through more difficult things
in our lives. I've been thinking about it a lot and here's the conclusion
I've come up with. These last few months have been the greatest times in my
life. I've never experienced such wonderful things and I'm glad they were
all with you. I wouldn't change one thing that's happened, even if it meant
not having to say goodbye. It's not like we'll never talk to or see each
other again. This is 2003, we do have phones and email." She smiled and put
her head down on my shoulder. "Jackie, I don't think I'll ever love someone
as much as I love you. But I'll find someone else and you'll find someone
better than me -"

She cut me off tearing her head up and looking directly into my eyes. "I'll
never find someone better than you. Don't ever say that, you mean everything
to me!" She started crying.

"I know sweetie, you mean everything to me also. But we have to move on. As
much as I don't want to leave you, I have to. It's inevitable; we have great
jobs lined up hundreds of miles away from each other. I'll cry, get
depressed, miss you terribly, and want to talk to you every second of the
day. But I'll get over it and you will too. And you know what else? We'll be
stronger because of it. I know that if I can make it through having to leave
you I can make it through anything. Jackie, I'm not the only one out there
for you. You'll find someone else and I'll be jealous at first, but I know
that I'll love them because I could never hate anything that you love. The
only thing we can do now is enjoy the time we have together and make the
best of it. You only live once." I couldn't believe how strong I was. I'd
made it through the whole thing without crying. Jackie had stopped crying
too.

"I love you" was quietly whispered in my ear.

"I love you too, more than anything." We fell asleep and didn't wake until
morning.

The last couple of weeks were tough with finals and design reports due. We
spent a lot of time studying very hard and just hugging and cuddling. I felt
fairly comfortable with our impending separation but I could tell Jackie
wasn't. She was very distant emotionally but always wanted to be near me
physically. It was obvious she was working through it in her own way. I
wasn't pushing her with anything and I knew she appreciated it.

It finally came time for graduation. I had my parents, aunt and uncle,
sister and brother-in-law and nephew, my brother and his fiancé, and two of
my friends coming to town. Jackie had her parents, two siblings, and three
grandparents coming. Since we knew we would be busy entertaining and because
my friends were staying at my place, we decided to have our last night
together on the Thursday before graduation. Jackie insisted on making me
dinner so I shoved Kelly off to stay at Joe's. Then, of course, Jackie
kicked me out of the apartment so she could do everything. I left for a few
hours and went to play hockey with some of my guy friends. Afterwards I was
exhausted and took a quick shower before going home. When I walked in, it
smelled unbelievable. Jackie had made chicken pesto, one of my favorites, a
caesar salad, and steamed vegetables. There was even homemade ice cream for
dessert. The most amazing thing was that she had set a table with a
tablecloth and candles and real cloth napkins. We didn't even have a table
in our apartment! I still don't know where all that stuff came from. We sat
in silence and ate the delicious food. We didn't even need to talk; we just
stared into each other's eyes. After dinner I cleaned up and we laid down on
the couch to watch a movie. Jackie had chosen 'So I Married An Axe
Murderer'. Turns out it's one of her favorites as well as mine. We laughed
together and quoted all of our favorite parts.

When it ended, Jackie got up. "Come on, let's go to bed." I followed her
into my room. She pulled on the shorts she kept at my place to sleep in and
pulled off her shirt as well. I followed suit and crawled into bed. She got
in facing me and kissed me lightly. I put my arm across her, pulling closer
and softly stroking her smooth back.

"I don't want to have some kind of sad goodbye sex. Can we just lay here and
hold each other?" I nodded my head slowly and smiled. I couldn't agree with
her more. If anything, I wanted to remember these tender times we had, just
holding and kissing. After about an hour, I put my head down on her chest
and slowly fell asleep to light kisses on the top of my head.

Graduation day came and I was really excited to get my diploma and get the
stupid ceremony over with. My parents already informed me that I had to stay
for the whole thing. Bummer. First they announce the couple of thousand
graduates who each walk up the stage and get their diploma from the dean.
After that the keynote speakers do their thing and blah, blah, blah. Our
department was one of the first to go so we were sitting for a long time
waiting. I had walked around and talked to my friends, sitting with Kelly in
the first row and taking pictures. After going back to my assigned seat, I
felt a tap on my shoulder and say Jackie, who was seated in the row behind
me. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" She nodded her head towards one of the
bathrooms.

"Sure, what's up?"

"I'll tell you in there." We walked over to the bathroom and went in. Jackie
looked under the stall doors. Seeing no one was in there she locked the
door. I looked at her puzzled and she backed up against the door.

"What are you doing?" I really had no idea what was going on and I honestly
was a little scared.

"I wanted to apologize-"

"Well this is a crazy way to do it."

"I know. But sitting in there finally made me realize some things. I was
spending so much time worrying about when we had to say goodbye that I
forgot to enjoy the time we had left. This is college, it's not supposed to
be forever." She was pacing around the bathroom and had taken off her cap
and gown. My cap was off as well and I was leaning against the sink. "I was
trying to control everything when I should have been rolling with the
punches. It wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry." Jackie had set her hands on
the sink on either side on my hips with her head on my chest.

"Don't be sorry. Shit happens and I still wouldn't trade this for anything."
She lifted her head up, smiled, and kissed me lightly. We sort of half
smiled at each other. Jackie got a real serious look on her face and brought
her hand up to my cheek.

"Did you ever think that you'd get lucky in a bathroom at your college
graduation?"

What? I was confused. "Excuse me?"

Jackie didn't say anything. She smiled slyly and slid her hand under my
graduation gown, cupping my sex through my shorts. "Mmm, Jackie, what are
you doing?" I threw my head back and closed my eyes.

"Shh, something I should have done days ago." She lifted me up so that I was
sitting on the sink and pulled my shorts and underpants off. With her hands
on my hips she kissed me with the most passion she ever has. My head was
exploding. I pulled back. "You locked the door, right?"

Jackie laughed and dropped down, spreading my knees apart and staring into
my eyes. "How about this for a memorable last time?" My laugh was stopped
immediately when her tongue swiped up my thigh and touched my clit. I
twitched and nearly fell off the sink, Jackie had to steady me. "Oh fuck,
that feels great baby." Her tongue continued its course back down the other
thigh and disappeared before returning to lick all the way up my pussy from
bottom to top. I sucked in a chest full of air and held it until it came out
as a low moan when she sucked my clit into her mouth, humming against me.
Jackie continued to work me into a frenzy by creating a pattern of licking
around my outer lips, up the middle of my pussy, and finally sucking my
clit. She sensed I was close when the movement of my hips increased and my
breathing came in shorter breaths. The assault on my clit became frantic. I
held another breath and released it as a squeal. I came hard and smashed my
head back against the mirror. "Shit Brynn, are you alright?"

"Hell yes I'm alright. That was fucking amazing."

"You just hit your head really hard. I think you dented the mirror frame!"

"Shut up and kiss me." And kiss we did. Post-sex kissing is my favorite
thing in the whole world. Soft and sleepy, yet passionate and endearing.
Unfortunately, it was still our graduation ceremony and we had to get back.
We got straightened up and as we were walking out of the bathroom I grabbed
Jackie and pulled her back. "I love you so much baby, don't ever forget
that." I kissed her and wrapped her in a tight hug. "I know you do. And you
know I do too." She smiled and led me back to our seats.

The rest of the ceremony was stupid as expected. When it was all over we
both had plans with out respective families for the rest of the day. Jackie
would be leaving the next evening with her parents but promised to stop by
before she did. My family was off in the morning and I was staying in town a
while longer to party with friends that weren't graduating and getting my
things together.

Jackie stopped by the next day around dinnertime. Her parents were in the
car waiting. "I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to give you this and
tell you I love you. I know we'll see each other again, so this isn't
goodbye." She handed me a folded up piece of paper and kissed me hard. "I
know. I will call you and I love you to." I kissed her again and said
goodbye. I guess when we finally go to this point we didn't have a whole lot
to say. And we didn't really need to. I was happy to leave it at this with a
promise to see each other again.

After she left I went into my room and the weight of it all hit me. I stared
at the piece of paper and let a tear slide down my cheek. I opened it and
sat down.


	Brynn,
There isn't anything I can say at this point. I love you so very much and I
always will. Just know I will be thinking about you.

Right now I feel so windy
And someday won't be ending
Until I've done all that I can
Until I've done all that I can
One day it'll get easier
Cause right now I feel so simple
Until I've done all that I can
Until I've done all that I can
And so I say hello, hello, hello
I'm right here
Hello, hello, hello
I'm right here
I'm right here waiting for you
Drinking to yesterdays news
I'm sorry I was late I was so blue
My head hurts from holding your hand
And I'm young but it's hard to believe
That some day I will never see you again
And you might not believe this
But you've changed me so much
But baby, it's so hard leaving you
And maybe, this was the only, the only way
But right now I wish I was older
And right now you look so simple
Now is not my time
Now is not the time
And so I say hello, hello, hello
I'm right here
I said hello, hello, hello
I'm right here, right here waiting for you
Drinking to yesterday's news
I'm sorry I was late I was so blue
My head hurts from holding your hand
And I'm young but it's hard to believe
That some day I will never see you again
And you might not believe this
But you've changed me so much
But baby, it's so hard leaving you
And maybe, this was the only, the only way
But baby, it's so hard leaving you
And maybe, this was the only, the only way
But baby, it's so hard leaving you
And maybe, this was the only, the only way
Cause some day I will never see you again

Love always and forever,
Jackie


Another tear slid down my cheek. A song had never made so much sense to me
before. What a perfect way to remember Jackie. I smiled because of the times
we shared and the time I knew we would still have.


Three Years Later

It had been several years since we graduated from college and Jackie and I
still talk on a regular basis. Our relationship has become one of life-long
friends. The distance is too much to overcome for anything else. We both
love our jobs and where we are in life. I see Jackie about twice a year. We
visit to see concerts, for work conferences, and just random occasions. Last
summer she was my date for Kelly and Joe's wedding! This fall I met her
girlfriend Mel and she is wonderful; everything I could have hoped Jackie
would find. In June my girlfriend Kate and I are meeting them in Chicago for
a weekend of shopping and gay bars. It will be a great time. I wish we could
have carried on our relationship in a different way, but what we have may be
even better. I have a confidant and shoulder to lean on when I need it and
so does Jackie. Another fantasy comes true.