Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007 17:28:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Sheila Smith <sheilamoist4u@yahoo.com>
Subject: Ask Aunt Sheila - 3

21 Mom and the boys

Dear Aunt Sheila
I know you mostly deal with girls' problems, but I wonder if you could
help me with something that is bothering me a lot. I have a teenage son,
Alec, who is basically a good boy, very loving and helpful. But I know
that he masturbates a lot - you know how boys leave stains everywhere. I
don't mind about that, masturbation is normal and healthy, but I have
found out that he regularly
masturbates with his best friend, Tony whenever the two of them are
together in Alec's room. Alec has now asked me if Tony can stay
overnight, he says, there's enough room for both of us in my bed, mom. I
really don't know what to do. Please advise.
Worried Mom

Instead of worrying, you should think yourself lucky! I suggest you do
everything you can to encourage your son to develop a sexual relationship
with his friend. After all, that's what boys are for. In fact, you could
take the initiative here, and say that Tony can stay overnight whenever
he wants to, providing the two of them sleep WITH YOU in YOUR bed.
Explain to them that you want to help them to get the best of their
relationship by showing them the proper way to jerk off,
to suck cock and ultimately how to enjoy anal intercourse. Just imagine
using your hand to guide Tony's throbbing cock into your son's lubricated
hole, and to make sure he fucks your son properly. I guarantee two
things: the boys will LOVE it, and you will have your fingers in your
cunt while you watch them doing their boysex stuff. What we call a
win-win situation.

22 Sylvie's Question and Marie's Question

Dear Aunt Sheila
I read with interest your reply to Sylvie W's question about how to find
which girls at work might be up for some girl-girl sex play. The question
I often ask myself is: how can you tell if a woman is a lesbian?
Marie G

Dear Marie G
Wrong question, Marie dear! You're starting from the wrong end, so to
speak. As far as I am concerned, there are only two kinds of women: those
who are proud to call themselves lesbians, and those who haven't admitted
it yet! To be serious, all the evidence is that most girls flirt with
lesbianism. It may be just kissing another girl at a party "for a dare",
or getting into some really sexy crotch-grinding with another girl at a
disco. In fact, it starts even before that with younger girls, for
example, at sleepovers, when they explore each other with their fingers.
There will be a lot of giggling, but the girls are still getting kicks
from doing it.When these girls get older, they might marry and have kids,
etc, but the groundwork has been laid, and many of them will come back to
lesbian activity one way or another. Some will admit to being "curious"
and take up an offer if it's made to them at the right time and in the
right way (I think that is where our Sylvie will score!). Others, bored
and dissatisfied with marital sex, remember the thrills they felt when
they tried girl-girl sex and will actively seek out a female
partner, via personal columns, internet, dating services, etc. Then,
there are all those women who work in all-female environments, such as
the military or all-girl schools, where their sexual needs are most
naturally satisfied with each other.
The truth is, Marie dear, we are all lesbians. Or should be. After all,
who knows better what a woman needs than another woman?

23 Words

Dear Aunt Sheila
Is it wrong to use the word "dyke"? A friend at work called me that, and
I was quite upset, even though it is true I am a lesbian. What do you
think?
Yours, Anna Wong

Nah, anyone calls me a dyke, I take it as a compliment! It's not what
they call us, but what we are, that is important. Did you know that the
Spanish word for a lesbian is "tortillera", which literally means
omelette-maker/ How offended would you be if someone called you an
omelette-maker?

24 Infantile sex

Dear Aunt Sheila
I know you have brorched this subject before, but I need your advice
about my two little girls, aged 6 and 7. I watched them the other day
exploring each other's "nannas" (their words) with their fingers, and
then sniffing each other down there. I was appalled, and didn't know what
to do.
Please advise.
Worried Mother-of-two.

Oh dear, you mothers, getting all worked up about nothing! The best thing
you can do, Worried Mother-of-two, is to stop worrying, get your two
little angels together on your bed, get your panties off, spread your
legs and show them your "nanna".Finger yourself, pull your lips back,
expose your clitoris, get moist, insert your fingers into yourself,
masturbate, and tell them to imitate you and do the same. Best of all,
let them play with your "nanna" and tell them how one
day they will be able to get wet and do the same. Let them touch it,
smell it, taste it, get to know it. In other words, stop worrying and
start showing them what a wonderful thing they have between their legs.
And then kiss them both and tell them to carry on exploring each other's
nannas.

25 My kid brother

I am sick and tired of my kid brother. He steals my undies and wears
them, he even puts on my dresses and stuff sometimes, and he is forever
using my makeup. It's like he thinks he is a girl. I am afraid to tell
mom or dad, but I wish there was a way I could make him stop. Please
advise.
Rebecca T

What a lucky girl you are, Rebecca, to have such a kid brother! Instead
of getting uptight about his desire to be a girl, you should encourage
it. Make a complete 180 degree turn and start offering him your lingerie,
your dresses, your cosmetics, etc. Help him dress, show him how to apply
makeup, lipstick and so on. Tell him he will make a wonderful girly-boy
one day - with your help. And you can be sure that somewhere, sometimes,
he will find someone who will love him for what he is. Just a word of
caution, Rebecca: when some man finally falls for him, make sure that
your kid brother is well informed about the minutiae of anal sex - it can
be wonderful, but it can be terrible if not done properly. If you give me
your full address, I will send you a leaflet about it.

26 Soixante-neuf
What is soixante-neuf? My girlfriend says it's when girls lie together
each with her mouth on the other's pussy, but that sounds gross to me. Do
people really do that?
Annie L

Oh, my poor Annie, where have you been all this time? Soixante-neuf,
which is just the French for 69, is widely practised by both lesbians and
gay males, and is, properly done, a wonderful and prolonged form of
lovemaking. The important thing about 69 is that each of you should be
very sensitive to the actions of the other, so that you mirror, as far as
possible, each other's actions. It is about rhythm, it is about harmony,
ie, it is about having your mouth and tongue on her cunt doing exactly
what your mouth and tongue are doing to her cunt. It might take a long
time to get it exactly right, but who's in a hurry when it comes to
pussy-munching?! Oh yes, and don't forget each other's "rosebud", the
other little "trou d'amour" that always begs for attention.
If you run into problems, email me for my private phone number, and I
will come by and help you

out.

27 Outrageous

Dear Aunt Sheila
My name is Gretta and I love my partner Moira more than I can say. But,
there is one thing she does which I find gross, offensive and truly
outrageous: she insists on wearing her strapon under her dress wheneve we
go out somewhere. Restaurant, disco, cinema, or just out shopping, she
will wear her strapon. And it shows. Not like a huge penis or anything,
but the bulge under her dress is obvious. I find this embarrassing. How
can I persuade her to stop this outrageous way of behaving in public?

Beautiful! I really like the sound of Moira. Let's face it, lots of women
walk around with Benwa balls in their vaginas or butterfly-type clit
stimulators strapped on. Equally, lots of men walk around with cock rings
and cock sleeves or butt plugs up their anuses (and god knows what else
men use). So why shouldn't Moira wear her strapon dildo if it gives her a
buzz? I assume she doesn't actually USE it while she is out, but clearly
it makes her feel good to know that she has
an instrument of pleasure that she could, IN THEORY, use to pleasure the
attractive women she sees in the local shopping mall, or wherever. I
suspect, dearest Gretta, that you are simply jealous. Chill out, sweetie,
and thank your lucky stars that you have a really sexy girlfriend! Tell
her if she ever wants to call by my office and dildo-fuck me, she will
not meet any resistance!

28 Weight problem

I am overweight, I know I am. I try to diet but I just can't lose weight.
How can I ever find someone to love me?
Sad Suki

Suki, get a grip. The best lover I ever had was a real plumpling. She had
an ass that cast a shadow that turned day into night. She had thighs that
would crush a sequoia. She had boobs that weighed more than the National
Debt. And, let's be brutally honest, she had a cunt the size of a road
tunnel, only hard to find because of the layers of flesh that surrounded
it. And you know what? She was, without exception, the lovingest,
sexiest, horniest, bestest lover I ever had. I
could lose myself in all that gorgeous female flesh, I was in heaven from
the moment I buried my face between those treetrunk thighs or lost my
face in that cavernous cunt of hers. She was the best. And so are you.
Stop being sad, and just believe in yourself, Suki. Somewhere there is a
woman is just dying to bury herself in the loving warmth of all that
flesh. Hell, if I wasn't so busy, I would come round right now and eat
you out myself!

29 Target

Why do women keep coming on to me? I am not a lesbian, but it seems that
every woman who comes into our salon - I am a hairdresser - wants to
fuck me. I love my boyfriend, and I really don't have any interest in
this lesbian stuff. What do you advise?
Tessa G.

Oh Tessa, get real. Women come on to you because you are putting out
signals that you want them to come on to you. Sorry to be so brutal, but
you are a little cunt-teaser. You KNOW, you little vixen, that you are
sexy and attractive, and you KNOW that you can make women pant for you.
So, my dear Tessa, you have two choices: stop playing games with your
customers, just get on with doing their hair, and then go home to be
shagged by your boyfriend (which, if my
instincts are right, is not much fun for you); or do the right thing, and
have a glorious series of love affairs with your horny women clients.
After all, they are out for a good fuck just as much as you are!

30 Horny nun

You will appreciate that because I am in holy orders, I cannot give you
my real name. Just call me Sister Teresa. My problem is that, despite my
vows, I am very attracted to one of the novices in our convent. Of
course, I would never do anything, but my problem is that I keep having
the most erotic dreams about her. I wake up wet, if you know what I mean,
and I pray for forgiveness and guidance, but it doesn't help. I do not
dare go to the Mother Superior, so I turn to you, good
lady, for advice.
Sister Teresa.

I am not qualified to advise you, dear Sister Teresa, but I can tell you
that I am grateful for every dream I have of the kind you described, the
kind of dream where you wake up wet and trembling. I regard such erotic
moments as a kind of gift from God, and maybe you should do the same.
Instead of fighting your natural instincts, why not embrace them? Well,
that's all I can really say to you, except that I would bet a big wad of
dollars that the Mother Superior, surrounded as she is by dozens of
desirable nuns, not only has similar dreams, but enjoys them immensely.
I know I would!

More to come. Comments to sheilamoist4u@yahoo.com or visit
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