Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2004 21:25:45 EDT
From: Sunsethape000@aol.com
Subject: Frailness 5

    Tally hated math. She hated her teacher. Hated the school. Hell, she
hated everything. After all, she had just seen the girl of her dreams
kiss some loser in the hallway. It didn't help matters that Tally knew
for a fact that the boy was captain of the football team, not to mention
very good looking. What am I doing to myself? I shouldn't want a girl I
can't have, expecially one that's very straight. Why do I torture myself
like this?
    Tally had been thinking of Baily ever since that night two weeks ago
when she had taken her in...had helped her...had fallen for her. The pain
and frustration were excrutiatingly sharp, not to mention the futileness
of the feelings she had to hide. Now she had even more reason to feel
embarrassed about her rediculous love. It had been killing Tally to see
Baily every day in Home Ec., but it was a slow sweet death she had been
looking forward to.
    Until now. How was she supposed to look Baily in the eye, the girl
she wanted, loved, needed, when she had just witnessed her making out
with some guy? Tally looked again at the board she was supposed to be
copying notes from, but saw nothing but Baily with her tongue down some
guys throat. Doesn't she know I'm way better for her than any guy she
could ever meet? Tally thought. I could do everything for her, and she
just wastes her time on guys who will never love her, who don't deserve
her.
    Man I hate math...
***
    Why hadn't it helped? It should have helped. Baily couldn't
understand herself, nor why she was having such a hard time getting the
thought of Tally off her mind. She had tried everything, even going out
with another guy, to get the gorgeous brunette with the deep blue eyes
and silky tan skin out of her head. Yet, just as with every other guy
Baily had ever been with, Brad Thomas had done nothing but leave a sick
taste in her mouth and a growing desire for Tally in her heart. What is
it about this girl that eats at me? Why can't I just forget about her
soft smile with perfect white teeth and dimples? Actually, wait, thats
dimple. One. On her right cheek, not her left.
    Grrrr, what am I doing to myself?
***
    Typically it was a comfortable quiet between the two girls during
Home Ec. class. That was not true of later that day. The silence between
Baily and Tally was deafening. The awkwardness hung like a black hole in
between them, sucking up whatever comments they would have made to ease
the tension, and growing larger with each one.
    Tally's embarrassment and frustration of earlier that day had changed
to anger and self absorbtion. It was a self defense mechanism to keep
from getting hurt, one she had obtained years ago, when the constant
moving had become too hard to handle. It had been especially helpful a
few years later, when her strength would really be put to the test. But
now all it was doing was hurting Baily. Tally could see it in the
confused look in the other's eyes. I can't hurt her, Tally realized. If I
hurt her, I hurt myself.
    Baily couldn't understand what was going through the other girl's
head. When Baily had greeted her before class with a casual hello (she
didn't want to sound to eager, but not disinterested either) Tally had
just looked at the other girl with a guarded expression, then went back
to copying the rules of sewing that had been printed on the board. Baily
WAS confused. And shocked to find how much the other girl's silent
treatment was hurting her.
    "Did you maybe wanna come over to my house tonight?" If Baily was
shocked at the silent treatment, now she was just down right
flabbergasted. Tally's invitation had come out of nowhere, sucking the
air right out of Baily's lungs, and causing her heart to stop
momentarily. She looked over at Tally, who was still staring at her
paper, though no longer writing, and looking more red than average.
    "Ummm-"
    "If you don't want to that's fine, I just thought it might be cool to
have you over...plus, we also have that cake project to do, so we could
get it finished while you're there." Now Tally was looking at her, her
face anxious and unmoving. How could I say no? Baily thought.
    "Sure, if it's okay with your parents and everything, I think it
would be fun." A smile. Tally melted, then let out a sigh of relief.
    "Well, we don't have to worry about my parents, my dad will be at the
army base all night tonight, and he won't care if I have a friend over,"
In fact, he'd probably jump with joy. He'd been bothering Tally just that
morning about never inviting friends over.
    "What about your mom? Will she care?" At this Tally looked away
again, then seemed to gain some composure over herself. She had been
dreading this question...questions about her mom.
    "No, she doesn't live with us any more," Tally stated matter of
factly, in a way that told Baily it wouldn't be wise to push the subject
of Tally's mom anymore.
    Tally took a deep breath, "So what about your folks? Will they mind
if YOU come over?"
    "Naw, they don't care what I do," Baily said, her face growing icy
and expressionless. Tally gave her a raised eyebrow that begged an
explanation. Baily returned it. They smiled, both realizing neither would
have to swap sob stories to the other. They both had things they didn't
wish to talk about, and the other was perfectly happy to comply. Their
smiles grew wider.
    Oh great, Baily thought. There's that dimple again.