Date: Thu, 5 Dec 2013 17:00:50 -0800 (PST)
From: Aoi Sinclaire <blue_sinclaire@yahoo.com>
Subject: Gaining Hope 1

Home life


Kysana closed her eyes against the wind, she didn't very much like the
wind, she didn't very much like anything. She had herself laid out on the
bed in her room, she left the window open because it would've been too much
work to close it when she wasn't going to stay in the room for very much
longer anyway. Her father would come into the room soon, she knew he would
because at 10:15 almost exactly every night her step-mother fell asleep,
and about 10 minutes after she fell asleep her father would sneak away and
come into her room and do horrible things to her.She remembered when it had
started, very vividly because it was the night after her mothers' funeral.

 She had been seven and her older brother had been fifteen when their
mother had been shot and murdered by someone with an idiotic grudge and a
big shotgun. Kysanas' family was in the medical practice, and Kysanas'
mother, Victorique, was the leading pediatric surgeon for a very high end
pediatric hospital. An assisting surgeon had been drinking the night
earlier, but went into surgery with Victorique that morning anyway. The
child they were operating on died, and the father of that child became
violent. Ignorant of the full situation the father of that child blamed the
head surgeon, Victorique, and so Kysana and Riley ended up motherless.

It was 10:30 now, maybe her father wasn't going to come, maybe just this
once she'd be safe? Just then the doorknob twisted and the door creaked
open, opening the door quietly was her father. The old man still had hair,
but he was completely bald on top, and the only hair he did have was grey
or white. He wore a tan suit with a white undershirt and a red tie, he had
old square framed glasses, and his green eyes were old and
deceitful. Saying nothing, he got into the bed with Kysana. Not bothering
to open her eyes she said nothing, nor did she do anything to rally against
what was going to happen next.

There was a time when she did fight against him, when he first began to
hurt her. He went on and on about how she looked, talked, and sang like her
mother. After awhile he started to say that her body moved and swayed like
her mothers'. When she did fight against him he would beat her, only
hitting her in her mid body or her thighs so it wasn't noticeable, and then
he would tie her to the bed post. The first few times it happened he used a
jump rope, eventually he bought handcuffs.

Kysana was long past fighting back now, it'd been 10 years since her
mothers' passing, 10 years since this had all started. To be truthful her
soul and mind had regressed into itself after so long of being tormented,
and her boundaries had all one by one been broken down. She stopped talking
about 9 years ago, no one really worried about it other than her brother,
she knew how to sign so she could still communicate even without a pen and
paper. Everyone thought that this was little Kysanas' way of handling her
mothers' death, and all pitied her, she didn't care. Eventually most forgot
about the passing of Victorique and guessed that Kysana was either deaf and
an incredibly good lip-reader, or she was just some cute mute chick going
through a phase.

Riley was a sweet guy, he was very protective of his little sister, and he
had no idea what their father was doing to her. He had learned sign
language for her, and even though he was twentyfive now he only lived next
door, just so he could be with his family. The last time Riley had cried
was at the funeral, she had hated that, she never wanted to see him cry
again. So, as much as he thought he was protecting her, she had decided to
protect him. She knew how Riley loved their father, and she had decided not
to tell him, or ever let him know. Maybe it was just some instinctual
thing, but he never ever caught on in any way that anything was wrong with
her. She was happy about that, and made sure that he was too invested in
himself, his studies, and work to be worrying too much about her. Besides
lately it seemed he had gotten himself a girlfriend, and that was of very
much help, seeing as he was so completely in love with whoever it was that
he barely had time to worry about her anymore.

Kysana finally opened her eyes, her father had already been spent and so he
had left. It was midnight now, he had gone at her twice, and she began to
wonder if the man ever had any left over for her step-mother. She was left
with no bottoms, of any fashion, and her white button up blouse with only
the top button buttoned. At least he had taken off most of her clothes this
time, so none of them were stained. There were times when he didn't care
enough, and her clothes did get stained. Either way something would get
stained, the sheets.

Her father never wore a condom, and people would probably question her if
she asked for birth control, especially if she'd asked for it when she was
seven. She had read a lot of books when she was a child, and she knew about
how babies were made by the time she was six, and she began to steal birth
control the minute she began having her period, when she was eleven. It's
pretty easy to steal things from the pharmacy when your brothers' worked
there since he was nineteen and you're as quiet as Kysana is.

It was 1:00 now, Kysana liked to keep time, it helped her think for some
reason. She sat up in the quiet darkness, her ankle long dark black hair
falling over her shoulders. Sometimes people would ask her why her hair was
so long, she'd never tell them the truth. She'd say it was because she just
liked it that way, when the truth was so much more complicated. Her hair
was the only thing she could control, and it was her prayer, her prayer for
freedom.

She stood letting what was inside of her flow down her legs, she knew
everyone was asleep by now, her father and her step-mother. Used to be she
had to be more careful, Riley would wake up to go pee or something, and she
would have to say she couldn't sleep because she felt like she needed a
shower. Of course she would have to get clothed before she left the room
when he lived there, now she just took a tissue and wiped most of the
access of his seed from herself.

Ignoring the nakedness of herself she took a change of clothes and walked
down the stairs to the bathroom. Setting the change of clothes on the
toilet she began to run the water, when it was a good height she shut off
the tap and let herself sink into the steaming water slowly. Whenever she
was in the hot water like this, cleaning herself after whatever her father
had done to her, she felt a little like she was part of the water, and in
that way she was cleansed, but she was never really truly clean. Sometimes
she wanted to be clean so bad it hurt.

After getting out of the bath she unclogged the tub and clothed
herself. She now wore plain white underwear, and a layered cotton white
dress. The dress had a knee high hemline with long sleeves and a v-neck. It
was a perfect dress for her really, it covered all bruises and scars. She
was a beautiful girl she had a long neck, high cheekbones, a button nose, a
chiseled jawline, incredibly big slanted electric blue eyes with long
eyelashes, arched eyebrows, and pouty lips, her upper lip a little smaller
than her lower. Her skin was very pale, though now it was a little pink
from the hot water. Her wet hair was curling as she brushed it out slowly,
when she was done she got out of the bathroom and went back into her room.

Now was 4:00, the sun wasn't showing yet, it wouldn't for another
hour. Clicking her tongue she took the sheets off the bed and went
downstairs to put them in the washing machine that resided in the
basement. Chucking the sheets in there and starting the wash she went about
her duties. No one ever asked her to do anything, she always wondered why.

She made breakfast, and set the table, she opened the curtains, and she
swept the floor, she continued on in the quietness, and when she was done
it was 7:00 in the morning. Her parents woke up and her family ate
breakfast together, mostly it was just her step-mother trying to start
conversations with either Kysana or her father, but the silence remained in
the air like a stagnant and pungent stink that could never be washed away
no matter how hard you scrubbed.

She put on her black leather steel toed boots, her red leather watch, her
woollen red scarf, and her grey beanie. With one look back on her forsaken
family she went out the door, waiting out front was her brother in his
sleek black car, waiting to pick her up.



`Hello, my Riley' Kysana signed as she settled herself in the car and
closed the door. Riley had a long neck, high cheekbones, arched eyebrows,
and a button nose too, but his jaw was more rounded with a cleft chin, his
lips were a little thinner, his hazel eyes were smaller and they weren't at
all slanted. He had olive skin and freckles on his face, his jaw length
black hair was combed back a bit but his bangs still fell over his face a
little bit.

"And hello my Sana," He said with a chuckle as he began to drive ", so how
goes the day?"

Kysana bit her lip and looked out the window, she was tired, no sleep again
tonight, and now she had to go to school. Thank the gods she was so quiet
and unnoticeable that she was practically invisible, besides that fact she
had a few friends who would protect her if trouble ever did happen. She may
be bullied at home, but she wasn't at school, far from it in fact she was
spoiled at school... kind of

`So-so' she signed, Riley looked at her a moment before looking back on the
road. He sighed and then smiled "Almost there, hey you know to text me if
anything ever happens right?" he asked with a worried tone. Kysana stared
at him for a moment with questioning eyes. After awhile he noticed her
pointed stare "Wha- I mean you've been bullied before, I'm just worried
about you, geez, sue me." he said with another tiny chuckle. Lie, it was a
lie Kysana had to tell once because when she was nine their father
dislocated her arm. Kysana had kept it a secret for three days before Riley
found out and took her to a hospital, thankfully nothing but the dislocated
arm and the wrist bruises were found. She had said it was bullies, and that
was beginning to prove more trouble than it was worth.

`Okay, okay, I'll phone if anything happens' she signed rolling her eyes
deliberately, making him think she was just being a belligerent
teenager. She lied, she acted, she felt little to nothing, the only point
to living she had left was protecting him. In her bitter pursuit of
happiness, she gained no hope.



|__________________________________________________________________________|


Alrighty then my lovely readers, I'll update more asap, but the meeting
between the two destined won't even happen `till the update after next, at
least I don't think so...

Anyway, feedback?

Email; Blue_sinclaire@yahoo.com


Monsieur Muffin man will now make you all muffins for bearing with me

--L