Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2008 14:18:36 -0400
From: Renée-Naomi X <shadow_angel223@hotmail.com>
Subject: her voice changes 4

  "So how did you come to the mall," Deon asked me. The truth be told is
that I came on the bus and I planned on hauling all my shopping back on the
bus and getting home.
  "The bus," I replied.
  "Well how about I drop you at home, in my car," she asked.
   "No thanks I'll stick to the bus," I had my principles and one of them
was to contribute to the environment positively whenever I could.
   "Wow you want to be bailing on a sister already, okay I see how it is,"
she said being all dramatic with her hand on her chest for effect. The
twinkle in her eye showed me it was all game though, and for some reason it
was working.
    "Fine I'll ride with if you promise, that one day you ride with me on
the bus," I replied raising my eyebrow with was my signature don't argue
with me look.
   "Okay girl whatever you say," she said smiling at me and hugging me. I
rested my head on her shoulder. Taking in her scent then I opened my eyes I
saw that De girl, she gave me a thumps up and was gone as quick as she was
there. I really wanted to ask Deon about her but I knew that there would be
a right time and place for that.
  "Okay girl you can get off me now," Deon said pushing me off her. She
looked so nervous.
   "What's wrong," I asked truly worried reaching for her face but she
backed away from me so quickly I didn't even know what happened. "You know
what? You trippin' in a major way," I said pursing my lips together before
taking up my shopping and walking off. I heard her sigh lightly then her
hand touching my shoulder. I turned around ready to give a blast of
attitude but her smile hit me and lord knows I was gone. Lost and Delirious
in her beautiful smile.
   "You're right I'm trippin' but I'm done come on lets go," she said to me
not even waiting for an answer but just grabbing me by the hand and dumping
my bags into her back seat. Wow girl knew I wasn't going anywhere without
my shopping so I gave in and sat down. This was going to be a tuff one... A
seriously tuff one if she continued to trip every five seconds.

~~~~~

    The days went by and I spent more and more time with Sasha (if this
were a movie there would be the montage) but making sure to keep my
feelings in check. She would hug me and I'd feel my heart opening to her
then I'd have to back away. To be really honest with y'all (whoever y'all
are) I don't know how long I can keep it up. Whenever she looked at me,
whatever I say she always looked a little disappointed at first it didn't
bother me, but now I want to know what she's expecting or waiting for me to
say. It was frustrating and nerve racking.
  "Hey boo, look what I've got," Sasha said waltzing into my kitchen. She
was holding a sweater with USC written on it. I don't know what happened at
that time or what I should have said so all I did was smile.  "Scholarship
baby, I'm going to LA" she screamed excitedly jumping in my arms. I was so
shocked I couldn't speak. So basically after the vacation was over this
would be over. There would be no more us. My defences flew up; this was me
about to get hurt again but in a different way she was leaving me not for
someone else but herself. I didn't know how to handle this and you know
what at the time I wasn't ready to try.
    "That's great," I said pushing her from me, not being able to keep the
disappointment from showing up in my voice.
    "What, aren't you happy for me?" she said her voice changing into this
meek, vulnerable sound.
    "Happy... yea of course happy, my girlfriend is going off to LA to live
her dream why wouldn't I be happy," I said almost sarcastically.
    "What! Do you not want me to go?" Sasha asked sincerely which shocked
me to the highest of levels.
    "It doesn't matter what I want, but the truth is I want you to be happy
and if going to college in LA is going to make you happy, the you should go
baby," I said her not realising but too late that I had called her a pet
name, I was seriously fucking up for someone who was suppose to have
defences up.

~~~~~

I had to check myself or at least check my ears to see if I was hearing
properly not only was it the sweetest thing she had ever said to me but she
had called me baby. It was what I had been waiting for these past
months... I was happy... but for some reason it wasn't enough I wanted it
all from here.
  "That's why I think we should just end it here," I heard her add. I don't
know how y'all feel when you're being dumped but I felt like it was a bad
dream and I just needed to be kicked awake.
  "What!?" I snapped.
   "I am not gonna lie I'm catching feelings, in 3 months we could stay
together and my feelings would get stronger then you would leave and I
don't know how I would handle it or what to do. So its better we should end
things before it gets to complicated."  She said walking away out of the
kitchen.
  "Don't walk away from me, let's talk about this," I felt my voice
breaking but it was still strong because I was determined to keep her.
  "There is nothing to talk about you are leaving to go do whatever and I'm
staying here I don't do long distance so it's over," she told me. I could
see the tears slightly forming in her eyes.
  "Stop saying that it is not over," I yelled at her.
  "Yes baby, it is," she said calmly.
  "Look I'll stay. I'll stay with you," I said honestly and truly, because
I loved her I couldn't say it but it was true.
  "No you won't because I want you to go follow your dream do what you do
best and I won't let you give it up for me because the truth is I'm not
worth it," she told me the tear finally falling from her eyes.
   "Yes you are baby, you're worth it," I cried stepping close to her not
leaving space between us. I wanted to tell her I loved her but I was soo
scared I might push her away. Then I kissed with all the love for her to
let her know this was where it was for her... with me. Our lips moved
together slowly her tongue sliding into my mouth her hands wrapped tight
around my waist pulling me close to her as I wrapped my arms round her neck
holding her tight. The passion began to build but I wasn't about to have
break up sex no we were going to be cool and together before we got down
and dirty. I pulled away from her and she groaned and reached for me
holding me close to her tight.
  "I can't believe I'm letting you go," she whispered her voice husky with
passion.  Now was the time for me to pull away and look at her like she was
crazy.
  "Yeah me too," I growled grabbing my bag with my sweater in and storming
out.  When I got outside I just wanted to run back in and make out with her
one more time... Like the movie with Bernie Mac God bless his soul "Guess
Who" were they broke up but you could tell they didn't want to. So I did. I
stormed back in meeting her in the exact same position I left her in. I
walked up to her and pulled her to me kissing her with everything I had
which obviously included my tongue. I held the sides of her shirt pulling
her closer to me as I assaulted her mouth... she was loving it. I soon had
her moaning and wanting soo much more. I practically tore her shirt off
. Then she did what she did best... take control. She wrapped her arms
round me and began to calm me. Slowly she lifted my shirt up throwing it
the ground while kissing my neck... on my spot... my yes you turn me on
kiss there spot. I mean this spot made me make sounds that you could never
hear on any music CD you feel me. Her hands moved swiftly taking of my bra
and I swiftly removed hers. I guess we were going to have break up sex
after all... or were we?  While she was caressing my mouth with tongue I
unsnapped her jeans pulling them down her. She rushed to pull them off then
unsnapped mine. We were breathing heavily you know the kind of heavy that
would fog your car windows up. Her hand moved up to my sides, and her touch
just did what it always did... excite me.

~~~~

With all the different emotions running through the air this is one I did
know how to handle... Uncontrollable lust. I took time before I finally
touched her bare breast, and a lil gasp escaped her mouth. I slowly
manoeuvred her on to the couch. I was touching her all over taking ever
little bit of her in. Then she turned me around so she was on top. She
kissed me lightly, her tongue barely coming out of her mouth. She pulled my
panties down throwing them a mile. She leaned over and kissed me again with
her hands cupping my sopping wet pussy.
  "Mmm baby right there," I groaned while she stroked my clit. I was
reaching my horniest state where only she could satisfy. The way she looked
at me, I don't know what I could say or how I felt. Then slowly she pushed
one of her fingers inside me, giving me that shaky uncontrollable like
passionate fever. She pulled out and pushed back with two fingers back in.
  "Oh my God baby," I whispered in her ear. The she pushed hard inside me
making me arch off the couch and groan out loud. Then she began to stroke
my walls inside of me, trying to find my g-spot which I insist I don't
have, however she proved me wrong in like I a second. I felt a pleasure
jolt soar through my body.  This was the greatest I'd ever felt as she
began to pump me hard making sure she hit my g-spot each time I'm trying my
best to describe how it felt the pleasure... words just can't
describe. Then that feeling started to come over me... I was going to come
very soon, all of a sudden she just stopped and my sexual frustration was
beyond measure.
  "Don't stop I need to come," I begged. She climbed of me and began to get
dressed I was so confused, I wanted her so bad right then I probably could
have raped her... I didn't but I could have. "No no, no," I said in hurry
rushing after her.
  "Well I need you but I can't have you can I, well both us aren't getting
what we want or need today are we," she said her voice angry and defiant.
Then I watched her leave again and this time I knew she wasn't coming
back. A cold shower could not recover my horniness or no other chick it was
her I didn't know what to do I was fuming... "Why is it so hard to get a
good fuck around here," I yelled throwing my vase at the wall. (what a
cliché... I know)

~~~

I walked out of her place so horny I could probably die, I wanted to walk
back in and finish of but this time I did what they did in the movies and
walked away... it was over and I gave her what she deserved.