Date: Fri, 10 Aug 2001 05:05:38 +0000
From: nicelessis@hotmail.com
Subject: Jessica's Heart - Part Three (High School f/f)

Warning:
This is part three of a romance story in a high school setting between two
females, and the prelude to the final chapter of this story, which will take
place in part 4.  I want to thank everyone for sending me feedback, and
especially thank Peg, Ann, and Kim for inspiring this story and supporting
me.  If you don't like stories involving same-sex relationships and/or
sexual experiences, please refrain from looking at this story.  All persons
described in this story are fictional and are in no way to be compared with
people in life.  This is fictional and is not based on an actual story, this
is just for entertainment.

For feedback, positive or negative, please email me at
nicelessis@hotmail.com; I look forward to reading responses to my story.
The title, persons, and setting in the story are copyrighted NiceLesSis and
no content of this story should be used without the explicit permission of
the author.

Jessica's Heart - Part Three
By
NiceLesSis

The rest of the day was very hard for Jessica.  She was not used to being
talked about behind her back and being the subject of lots of gossip.  Most
of her friends kept away from her, some of them out of hate, the other out
of not wanting to be on the "wrong end" of the social status.  A few
actually talked to her, fewer still hung out with her between classes.  Her
mind was reeling with thoughts, struggling between the sadness that had
welled up inside of her, and the happiness that had exploded from her in her
proclamation during lunch.
Emily, on the other hand, had been calm and helpful, the only sadness in her
heart reserved for Jessica.  She had been "out" for a while now, and
everyone, including her parents, knew.  She wasn't ashamed about her
sexuality and didn't care about the gossip and rumors floating around the
school, but her heart went out for what Jessica was going through.
After the day was finished both Emily and Jessica walked back to Jessica's
house.  Once they were out of view from the other students, Jessica took
Emily's hand in her and just gave a very loud sigh.  "This has not been the
best day for me, Em.  And you, you get just as much rumors spread around
about you as me, yet you're acting so cool and calm.  How is that possible?
Doesn't it bother you?"
Emily just shrugged her shoulders a little.  "A little, but I don't think
about it too much.  I've been used to this type of behavior from when I was
at my old high school, it wasn't very nice, but it's not exactly something
you can stop."  She stopped a moment and brushed Jessica's cheek lightly.
"I am sorry, though, that you have to deal with all of this.  This is all so
new to you and I'm sure that you're not dealing well with it."
She sighed and slumped a little.  "I'll manage.  It's just that I need to
find out some way to tell my mother before she hears any rumors."  She
brushed a lock of her hair behind her right ear and gave another sigh.  "I
just don't know how I'm going to do it, Em.  I don't even know how she feels
on the subject."
"It's going to be okay, Jessica.  Just remember, no matter what, I'm here
for you and I won't leave you when you need me."
"Thanks, Em.  I just have a feeling this will be very hard for me."

Indeed it was hard for Jessica later that night at home.  Her mother got
home pretty late from her job and by that time Jessica had already had
dinner, a quick microwave personal pizza, and was in the "family room"
working on her homework.  She had been dreading this moment since lunch, but
knew that it eventually had to take place.  She only hoped that she was
ready for it and that whatever came about she wouldn't have to leave her own
home.
She heard footsteps walking into the room and turned to see her mother's
form standing just behind her.  "Hi mom," she said, barely audible, then
turned her attention back to her homework, hoping to stall a little bit
more.
It didn't work.  Her mother sat down in the chair next to her at the table
and placed her hands on Jessica's science book.  "Okay, what's wrong?  I
know that voice, I know something's going on."
Jessica gave a wry grin and placed her pencil down, turning to look at her
mother.  "Yeah, there's been a lot going on, at school mostly.  Something
happened last week that made me...think about things in my life.  And
especially today, I did something that will make being at school a little
harder, but hopefully, in the long run of my life, very worth it."
The look on her mother's face was that of intense worry, but also of
uncontrollable interest.  Jessica was so worried about what she was going to
tell her, and apparently her mother was very good at reading the anxiety and
apprehension that was in her thoughts and words.  "Jessica, whatever it is,
I am sure that you made the right decision.  You're a smart girl, and if you
want to change something in your life, well, I'm sure that it will work out
for you.  So what is it?"
Jessica just looked at her mother and took a very deep breath, letting it
out slowly, her mind hoping to stall just a few more seconds of what would
inevitably have to be said.  "Mom...I'm gay."
The look on her mother just stayed solid until finally she started blinking
and looking at Jessica with curiosity.  "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard
you right."
"Mom, I'm gay.  Today at lunch I came out in front of my friends, I told
them I was gay.  I...am...gay."
Her mother started stuttering and got up from the table.  "We'll talk about
this later, when you have more time to think about it."  She began to walk
out the room when Jessica stood up and shut the science book closed, making
a low slam against the table.
"There is nothing to talk about, mother."  She hardly ever called her
mother, unless she was mad at her.  "I am gay, there is nothing you or
anyone else can do to change that.  I'm out in the open at school, so pretty
soon everyone who wants to be my friend, despite my 'sexual preference,'
will be my friend, and those who don't will mock me, make fun of me, and
treat me like scum, but do you know what, mother?  At least I will know what
and who I am, what part I play in life, and with whom I should be with.  So,
mother, you can either support me...or just forget about the whole thing."
There was a long moment of silence as her mother stood in the doorway, not
moving a muscle.  After about two minutes she turned her head and looked in
the direction of Jessica, not at her face, but down at her feet, not wanting
to see her eyes at that moment.  In a low voice, one full of hurt and
uncertainty, she said, "we'll talk about this later, Jessica."  She then
just walked out of the room, leaving Jessica to her own thoughts about the
subject.
Jessica sat back down at the table and opened her science book again.  As
she started going over the chemistry equations and soling the problems that
her teacher assigned she stopped and sighed to herself.  'This is not at all
what I had planned for my life...why can't I have what I want?'

Jessica attempted quite a few times to talk about the subject of her
sexuality with her mother over the next few days, but she was always
rebuffed with a lame excuse or a simple "I don't want to talk about it now,
maybe later."  It got to the point where Jessica stopped trying and just
began dealing with the fact that her mother didn't enjoy the new part of her
life.
Some of her friends still talked to her at school, but most of them left her
alone.  It wasn't that being gay was such a shock to society; after all, gay
people have been out and about for a very long time.  It's just that people
had a huge problem accepting people who strayed outside the "norm" of
society.
The one person who made it all worth it, though, was Emily.  Emily and
Jessica spent a lot of time together and Jessica was sure that she was
beginning to fall for her.  She couldn't keep her out of her thoughts and
the time she spent with Emily was the happiest moments of her day.  She
looked forward to seeing her each day and missed her when they were apart.
She did not want to use the word "love" at this time because she had never
experienced the emotion before, but she was sure that if she spent more time
with Emily she would eventually use the word time and again, and mean it.
And a new thing happened to her, one that she did not expect at all.  She
had never really paid attention to her vagina before, never really thought
about sexual pleasure, because she didn't have a fantasy life.  But since
she started kissing and getting massages from Emily, she found that she
would get a little tingle in her vagina.  It wasn't always the physical
things about their friendship/relationship that made her feel pleasure, it
was the things like how Emily looked at her, how she smiled and brushed the
hair out of Jessica's eyes, how she stared into those eyes and conveyed all
sorts of meaning in that little contact.  It made her feel so happy, so
wanted, so pleased.
She hadn't really done much to explore herself.  She knew about the pleasure
centers of her body, of course.  All freshmen were required to take a sex-ed
course, and she had been no exception.  She was always afraid of being
caught by her mother in that situation, and especially during the last week
after she had told her mother about her sexuality.
And her dreams had been filled with Emily.  Mostly it was just the two of
them walking around, looking at things, Jessica showing her the attractions
and sites.  She was really enjoying the time she had with Emily and, despite
all the negative things said about her by her once-be friends, she was
happy.  Happy...but still a little sad from not being "accepted."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
Jessica turned around to look at Emily who was snuggling behind her and gave
a small smile.  "How did you know that something was wrong, Em?  I didn't do
anything, at least I don't think I did, to indicate I was sad."
"Well, you may not know it, but you give a little shrug whenever something
bothers you.  It's very hard to pick up on."  Emily traced a finger along
the bridge of Jessica's nose and down to her cheek.  "What's bothering you,
Jessica?"
Jessica sighed and looked at Emily.  "I just wish that I was accepted, that
being who and what I am wasn't considered wrong by everyone."  She leaned in
for a little kiss and then stayed there, hugging her tightly.  "I just want
to be left alone with you and not have to worry about anyone else's
opinion."
"Then don't, sweetie."  Emily kissed Jessica back and brushes her cheek with
the palm of her hand.  "We don't have to live by their rules, we don't have
to follow them.  We're our own people, and we don't need anyone else to tell
us what is good for us."  She looked at her for a moment then said, "How did
it go with your mother?  This is part of it, isn't?"
Jessica nodded and felt Emily's arms enclose her even more.  "She won't even
talk about it, she keeps making up some excuse to put it off.  Put it off to
what, though, I don't know, since it's quite impossible to even talk to her
about it."
"I'm sorry, Jessica.  I wish there was something I could do for you, but I
honestly don't know how.  I could talk to your mom if you think she'll
listen to a long-lasting lesbian then just a new rookie."
Jessica looked at her with a double take and noticed Emily smiling at her
with a mischievous grin.  "Oh, don't do that, that's not funny."  Despite
her words she couldn't keep a grin off her face.  "Thank you, I needed
that."
"No problem, Jessica."  Emily gave her a tight hug and they continued to
hold one another for a while.  Soon they just forgot about whatever it was
they were doing before and fell asleep in each other's arms.
As Jessica drifted off to sleep, the one thought that passed her mind was 'I
think I love her.'  She gave a small smile in her sleep and knew that waking
up in the arms of this girl was one of the treasures she was going to have
for a long time.

End of part three