Date: Sun, 30 Oct 2005 22:49:13 +0000
From: Rachel Stevenson <rachelfrizz@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Rachel's Story Part 4

This is not a work of pure fiction; it's not a verbatim record of events,
either. Rather it's a recovered and organized memory with partly imagined
details. What I mean is -- the events happened; to me and to my friends; but
I have had to reinvent the dialogue. The emotions have stayed with me and I
have not had to remember, invent or reconstruct a single one. However, all
the characters and events portrayed in this story are fictional. No
resemblance to real people of events is intended. So there; if you think you
recognize yourself or the events, you can't sue me!
Once again, writing this has taken lnger than I expected. Firstly, I lost a
close member of my family. Secondly, and probably due to the first and other
factors I have been found to be a Type 1 Diabetic. So I have joined the
needle club; a little prick at last.

________________________________________________________________
After the summer parties and the nude beach intelude, I find myself face to
face with Maggie.


"Well hello!" said Maggie with exaggerated civility.
"I've got my car here, it's a lovely day, let's go out!"
"Wait. Please." I turned and bellowed "Mum!"
And went rushing into the depths of the cottage to find her.
"Mum, can I go out with a friend? Please, please, please!"
"Are you going to that beach again?'
"No! Just around."
"What time will you be back?"
"Five o'clock. Please!" I invented a time so far distant that I was sure to
be home before. What we were going to do, where we were going I had no idea.
"All right. I'll take him to the castle. There's a ferry isn't there? He'd
love the boat ride."
"Yes, it goes from near the main pier, you'll see the ticket kiosk. It goes
every half hour. Can I go?"
"I suppose so. Be good and be back here by five. All right?"
"Bye!"

Maggie was wearing a loose knitted top in orange over a white t-shirt and
blue jeans, I wore a dark blue t-shirt and short pale blue skirt.
"Here's the car." She said and pointed to an orange, convertible MGB. "Jump
in!"
We opened the doors and slid in. My skirt rode up as I sat on the squeaky
black vinyl seats and I self-consciously pulled it down while Maggie
watched.
"Not the best thing to wear in an open sports car, y'know."
"I wasn't expecting you, or a vehicle of this description when I dressed."
"Touche!"
She started the car, and we drove off.
Up the main road and out of the town. Maggie drove quickly and with
confidence, but the roar of the car and the wind in our hair made
conversation impossible, so I couldn't ask where we were going. The breeze
buffeted my hair around and I wished I`d tied it back like Maggie's. The
wind also kept blowing my skirt up, so I spent most of the journey holding
my hair down with one hand and the other one jamming my skirt between my
legs!
Tiny, narrow lanes between high banked hedges took us far into the Devon
countryside, until suddenly Maggie swung the wheel hard left and propelled
the car through a gate and into a small farmyard.
As well as scratchy hens, I could see a tack box and paddock and plenty of
hay in the open barn. "How many horses do you have?" I asked.
Not really caring about horses, but feeling that I had to show interest.
"Just the one hunter. He's enough trouble to deal with -- hasn't been gelded,
so he's a real sod. The feed's for the sheep." She replied, indicating the
contents of the barn.
"Let's go in."
There was a child's bike leaning against the back porch as we entered, and
inside stood two small Wellington boots.
"Robbie's." she said, nodding to them. "With his father at the moment."
So was this Maggie's son or brother? It could have been either, but I
suspected that she was a mother, and had, at least at one time, a
relationship with a man.
We moved into the farmhouse with its low ceilings, wooden floors and exposed
beams.
"This is all mine. It's a mess, but I love it. Particularly the view." And
she swept her arm around indicating the wide view down the sheep-dotted
meadows to the blue-grey estuary a mile or so away.
"It's beautiful." I agreed and took a few steps closer to the full length
windows. Maggie followed close behind me, and while I gazed out she wrapped
her arms around me and kissed me on the neck.
"I wanted to do this from the moment I first saw you." She murmured.
Involuntarily, I wriggled and goose-bumps appeared on my skin.
"How did you know I wouldn't stop you?"
"I just knew."
"Is it that obvious?" I enquired self-consciously.
"No, it was just the way you looked. I knew."
I inclined my neck back to enjoy the soft kisses from my ear to my
collarbone as Maggie's hands swept over my boobs and stomach. I wanted to
turn around to face her, but Maggie kept me facing the window as she cupped
one breast and pressed her other hand to my crotch.
"No. Not here." I couldn't help looking out of the window as if a passing
shepherd or walker might be watching us.
"We're completely private; no-one will see." She breathed into my hair and
her hand began to pull the front of my skirt up my thighs.
"No, Maggie." And I pulled away from her and turned to face her.
"I feel as though I'm on display."
I wasn't quite sure if I meant `absolutely no', or just `no, not here',
Maggie seemed to be moving a bit fast for me. It wasn't that I didn't want
her, but I felt a little uncomfortable at the pace of it. How long had she
been planning to whisk me back to her house and seduce me? How did she know
that I would be receptive? Supposing I'd been having my period?
"Relax. Relax and come with me" She held out her hand. I took it and she led
me towards an open tread staircase rising to the next floor.
"Turn left at the top"
And she let me pass to walk up first. I tried to tuck my bottom in as I
climbed so that she should not see up my skirt. Pathetic, eh?
At the top of the stairs, I turned left as bidden into a pale lemon yellow
room with sandy berber carpet and large bed dressed with a white duvet and
pillows. The bright summer sunlight from the dormer window made the room
shine and I felt positively uplifted by the beautiful brightness which was
reflected by a large mirror on the wall at the foot of the bed. Straight
ahead, on the other side of the bed was an open door into a walk-in closet
and dressing room. I could see a dressing table covered in make up and
trinkets and racks of clothes reflected in the mirror, but here in the
bedroom there was no clutter, just brightness. I was captivated.
Maggie pushed the door behind her and came to me as I turned to her. Now we
kissed face to face, lips open and tongues engaged. Maggie was taller and
stronger than me, and I felt I was the weaker vessel in her presence. Just
as I had felt weak and girly when I was with Guy, now I felt under Maggie's
power and influence. I would do what she wanted by choice. I knew her to be
experienced and I longed to learn the arts of love from her. I would be her
lover and pupil; I surrendered.
Now she lay me down on the bed, kicked off her shoes and lay on top of me,
kissing again. I parted my legs beneath her and felt the rough of her jeans
on my open thighs. She pressed against me and I felt my lower lips begin to
part and moisten. She rolled to one side and cupped my breast as she had
done downstairs, before pulling my t-shirt out of skirt waistband and
pushing it up over my bra. Straightaway her hand went behind me and she
unclipped my bra in an instant. Her fingers were on my nipple in an instant,
rolling and rubbing as I felt it erect. Lying between my thighs again, she
thrust her tongue into my mouth and ground her pelvis forward into mine. She
lifted her torso on her arms, looking down upon me subservient beneath her.
"You're so gorgeous. "She murmured. "I'm going to love you to pieces."
I didn't know how to respond, so I put my hand on the nape of her neck and
pulled her mouth down to mine again. This time I positively sucked her
tongue into my mouth as we kissed.
Gradually, gently, Maggie lifted my t-shirt and bra up over both my breasts
and over my head, throwing them off the bed. My skirt was already ruched up
around my middle, showing my dampened knickers beneath. I hadn't planned to
be seduced when I dressed that morning, so I was wearing very plain and
unflattering white knickers. Maggie now knelt on the bed between my thighs
and looked down at them and the darkened damp patch. "I want you so much,"
Rather stupidly, I replied "So take me"
Which is exactly what Maggie did.
She pulled off my skirt first and almost licked her lips as she eased my
pants down. I lifted my bottom from the bed as she did so and my fuzz stood
high and light brown in the sunshine. Maggie smiled and casting my underwear
aside ran, her strong hands down my middle and over my fuzz. She dipped her
head and kissed my navel lightly. "My turn. " she whispered.
Off came her knitted top and the t-shirt. Her bra was delicately scalloped
around the edge, presenting her large breasts forward with a deep cleavage
line. As the bra came off, she looked at me and I watched these pendulous
breasts wiggle deliciously. Her areola were large and deep pink with nipples
that stood out large and proud.
She looked down upon me smiling as she opened her jeans. She wiggled
slightly to loosen them from her hips, and shucked them to the floor, her
white pants matched her bra perfectly and defined her flat stomach and trim
thighs perfectly. She slid them down and revealed again her close-cropped
dark brown pubic hair through which I could see a pink-tinged fold.
She lay upon me and we grappled out bodies together, by this point I was
totally wet and my lips were hugely engorged, so when Maggie ran her ring
finger up my slit, I nearly passed out from pleasure. Spreading my labia,
fondling my clitoris, now inserting fingers into my vagina, Maggie was all
over my most sensitive parts. I wanted to touch her as well, but her thighs
were clamped tight around my leg and she squeezed herself regularly against
me. I stroked her overwhelming breast as she fondled me and I longed to take
her nipple in my mouth.
At last she broke from me and I seized the initiative, rolling her back and
lifting myself onto her. My mouth found her generous nipple and I lapped and
suckled until it stood ruddy and erect from her bosom. Now I moved down,
across her stomach and navel to her close-clipped hair. She smelt
exquisitely musky and I buried my face into her prickly hair. Parting her
lips gently with my fingers, my tongue made contact with her clitoris and
her back arched with tension and pleasure. I looked up the length of her
body to see her face smiling down at me, before her mouth formed the `O' of
pleasure again. She shifted again and as I looked up, I realized she was
looking over my shoulder. I stopped my licking and glanced behind; Maggie
was looking into the mirror behind me, watching me on my knees with my bum
stuck out as I pleasured her. She looked at me in the mirror and raised her
left eyebrow in her trademark style.
I smiled and giggled at her in the mirror, then returned to paying attention
to her pearl. On and on I licked and Maggie declined into that middle period
of sex, just before the rise to orgasm. But here she came, muscles
tightening and flexing, her hands gripping the duvet. Now with her hand on
the back of my head, she gave a strangled moan as her thighs shook and
twitched. With a gasp she threw herself back and flinched from me when I
kissed her hood again -- she was just too sensitive. I looked at her fluid
covered sex and into her vagina, had a baby passed this way, I wondered? Her
raised knees allowed me to see the base of buttocks and I noticed creamy
lines there; were they stretch marks?
I knelt up and looked at her lying in her post orgasmic reverie, her chest
was rising and falling as she breathed deeply and her breasts lay across
her, spilling onto her arms.
"Come here." And she lifted an arm to invite me to her. I quickly wiped my
face on my arm and crawled up the bed to reach her as she pulled me into her
embrace. We kissed again, but more gently this time.
"That was wonderful. What can I do for you?'
"Oh, I don't know. Do whatever you like.' And I smiled as she kissed me;
whatever Maggie did would be alright with me.
She rolled me onto my back, kissed my neck and bit my ear.
"Shall I transform into a male with a ten-inch monster and ravish you!" And
she ran her fingers tickling across my stomach and I squealed with laughter.
"Just love me" She looked at me for a moment
"I will."
Her hand descended to my crotch again and I felt her delicate fingers
explore my lips and the button between. I lifted my knees higher and splayed
my thighs, Maggie transferred her had to my vagina, placing two fingers
inside.
"How does that feel?" as she pumped in and out.
"Is it good?"
"Oh, yes" I whispered.
She looked at me intently withdrew her fingers and rolled between my thighs
again. She straightened, stiffening herself against me, her mons rubbing my
sensitive labia as she did so. She did it again.
"Just stay there." She got up.
"What is it?" I asked and began to sit up, closing my legs.
"No, don't move. I'll be a second"
I lay back down as Maggie slipped into the dressing room and I heard a draw
rasp open. My knees went together as I lay there in the sun, wondering what
she was doing.


She reappeared at the door with a triumphant expression. He held her hands
in front of her and I thought for a moment she'd started to get dressed. But
as she came back to the foot of the bed, she revealed herself. She had a
harness around her pelvis with a curved phallus pointing straight ahead at
me. I was incredulous, I'd never seen one before. Sensing my bewilderment,
she turned slightly.
"Look. It goes into me as well." And I saw that the purple penis was bent in
a sharp angle and entered her as well. She reached down underneath and
fiddled for a second, suddenly I heard buzzing; it was a vibrator too.
She pushed my knees apart and lowered herself between my thighs. Kissing me
gently, she whispered  "Just relax. It'll feel wonderful."
The dildo touched my mons and rustled my frizz. It felt hard but not cold,
as I had imagined. She withdrew it and using a hand as a guide, she gently
placed it between my lips at the very entrance to my vagina. A little thrust
and it went in further than I  expected. I breathed in sharply and held
Maggie's shoulders tightly.
"Just relax and let it in easily."
Maggie's face was above me, her hair falling onto my shoulders and her
breasts swinging forward to cover my own. She thrust again and I raised my
knees further, opening myself to the monster, I felt stretched and it even
hurt a little to begin with, but I was so wet and it vibrated so well, that
the hurt was overplayed by vicious pleasure. The vibrations sent shivers
into the very core of me, my mouth opened in the involuntary `O'. Maggie
thrust again.
I couldn't believe it could go any further in without splitting me in half
and the vibration infected my entire body with passion. She thrust more and
her mouth descended onto mine as we jointly experienced that thrilling stab
to the stomach.
I twisted to look into the mirror behind her as Maggie had done earlier and
I saw my own thighs thrown high in the air with Maggie's thighs parted too
and the purple monster disappearing into her as he thrust into me. Her
thighs and bottom flexed and stretched as she thrust into me; it was
lasciviously erotic.
On and on she went, thrusting and stretching into me and into herself. We
dissolved into liquid receptors, receiving lengths of emotion into our most
private selves. The oft-repeated stab went on and on as we approached our
orgasms.
There are no words I can use to describe the climb towards ecstasy that do
justice to the journey. It doesn't matter how I write, the journey is
visceral, bloody and tangible. And delicious.
I wanted her and that plastic appendage even deeper inside me. She would
thrust and I would respond, sending the purple missile back into her vagina.
Vibrating as it did so, the dildo lifted us higher in unison
I was coming. More and more, my very being ached for the climax. As she
thrust at me, I pulled her mouth down and sucked her tongue into me,
starting to shake and shiver as I came. I screamed into her mouth, digging
my nails into her pounding buttocks, and Maggie achieved her orgasm too. She
stiffened and splayed her thighs wider and wider, pushing the phallus deeper
and deeper into both of us, and her boobs trembled onto mine. Suddenly she
went rigid against me and a guttural cry tore it's way out of her. And in
that second her passion was spent, the tension of our sex was dispelled. She
collapsed on top of me gasping and twitching from aftershocks. I lay beneath
her clutching her at her desperately as our mouths rained kisses on each
other's faces, necks and shoulders.

Maggie rolled to one side and reached beneath the harness to switch the
vibrator off. Gently she slid the elastic harness down her hips a little to
remove the shorter part of the dildo from vagina.
"A wonderful device!" She gasped and I smiled and nodded. Reaching down I
grasped the part that had been in me. The plastic was warm and soft to the
touch and my juices had made it wet and sticky. The harness itself was wet
where Maggie had leaked upon it too. She pushed it down below her knees,
kicked it onto the floor and snuggled in to me.
"Are you sore?" She asked as she gently trailed her fingers down my pubic
slit.
"A little. I wasn't really ready for it at first -- it was bigger than I
thought"
Maggie looked down and arranged my labia carefully.
"I saw you on the beach" she murmered.
"I know, I saw you too."
"I mean, I saw you when the boys were there. You had your knees drawn up to
hide these." And she gave my lips a little stroke.
"And you were paying more attention to Queenie and the others showing off
than you were to the boys . . . That's how I knew." She looked up into my
eyes.
"Oh god, was I that obvious?"
"Only to me. Probably because I knew what to look for. But I knew I wanted
you."
Her fingers were ever so gently stroking me again. Just trailing up and down
over my pubis. Every time they reached my prominent clitoris I couldn't help
but shiver.
"I love this." she whispered, taking my clit delicately between thumb and
forefinger.
"I want to suck you here. Can you stand it?"
"I think so, if you're gentle"
She rustled her way down my body and I waited with expectation for her
embrace. There was the softest feeling on my clitoris, gentle and delicate.
Raising my head, I looked down the length of my body, to where Maggie lay
between my thighs. Her tongue was extended as far as she could reach and the
very tip rested on the tip of my raised clitoris. She raised her eyes to
mine and smiled. She brought her hand between my thighs now and took my
clitoris between thumb and forefinger, gently rubbing back and forth. All
the while she looked up at me watching my face for signs of pleasure. Now
her face went down again and her tongue extended to touch me, lick me.
She moved closer yet and took my clitoris between her lips pulling and
sucking as she did so. I felt her pressing her face against my stomach and
her lips sliding along my clitoris. Maggie continued to nuzzle and suck in
the most exciting way imaginable until I began to flex my thighs
involuntarily. Now she lifted her mouth from me and
I looked down at her and was amazed to see how big my clitoris was, the
little button was now a shaft standing nearly half an inch proud of my hood.
"You've got an erection!" she giggled and descended once more. She gave my
labia a tug with her lips before returning to my waiting shaft, no longer
just a pearl. She pushed and suckled and licked as I began the climb to
ecstasy.
My thighs twitched apart and I held my boobs to stop them from shaking. I
was coming again. Pushing forwards and upwards with my pubis, my pelvis rose
from the bed to Maggie's mouth and I squealed as the orgasm claimed me.
But now suddenly spent and sore, I pushed her mouth away from me, falling
back onto the bed. I was exhausted, sweaty and disgusting, but I pulled
Maggie up the bed towards me to hold and kiss her in thanks. Our mouths
engaged and I tasted myself on her lips and mouth. Her hair was matted to
her face by my juices and her saliva and I wanted to kiss away every drop.
My thighs were still apart and Maggie nestled between them as our excitement
ebbed away into languor and tiredness.
"Beautiful" she whispered.
"Thank you, that was gorgeous." I replied.
The warm sun still filled the room and we lay in the glow of sun and happy
sex and went to sleep. I wanted to stay there forever.


"What the hell is this, Maggie? For chrissake, she's only a bloody child!
Robbie, get back downstairs!"
Maggie shot up next to me as I began to take in my surroundings again. The
colour of the room had changed from gold to grey as the sun had moved around
and no longer shone into the bedroom. I wondered how long we'd been asleep.
"Oh god, Paul. Don't say anything -- don't be cross."
Maggie swept her legs of the bed and crouched to sort out her clothes on the
floor. At the door stood a man, rough-dressed and bristling with anger. I
tried to cover myself from his eyes, but he stared at me.
"How old are you?"
"Sixteen" I lied.
"Get dressed and get out!"
He stamped back down the stairs, leaving us to fumble out or clothes and
recover from the shock.
"He wasn't supposed to be back for hours."
I found my watch
"It's half past four!" I squealed, looking at Maggie in horror.
"Shit!"
Knickers and jeans on, Maggie kicked her bra under the bed and pulled her
t-shirt over her head. I dressed as quick as I could, but I had to don bra
and knickers in case Mum was in the cottage when I got back.
We clattered down the stairs and I followed Maggie through the kitchen. The
man -- who I guessed was Maggie's husband -- stood in the kitchen glowering
into the distance as we passed.
"I'm taking her back" Maggie called over her shoulder as we passed. He made
no reply.
Out in the yard, Maggie said "Where's Robbie" and looked about. I spotted a
little boy peeping round the open barn door.
"Is that him?"
Maggie whirled around and followed my gaze.
"Robbie, Mum's going into the town for a few minutes -- I've got to take my
friend home. Is that all right?" I saw the little lad nod slowly. Maggie
hurried across the yard to him, knelt and hugged him. I could see her
talking to him, but could hear nothing. One more kiss and she stood up and
came trotting back.
Now a Land Rover was parked behind the MGB
"We'll have to take this." Shouted Maggie and stalked around to the driver's
side. We got in and slammed the doors. Maggie crashed the gears and reversed
out of the yard at tremendous speed. We shot up the lane, the hedgerows
thrashing against the sides of the van. There was a toy gun on the floor, I
leant forward and picked it up.
"He's a pretty boy, how old is he?"
"Eight last May." She shot a look across to me and smiled through pursed
lips.
"Didn't expect that did you? Me, married with a son and seducing young
girls!"
I didn't know what to say. I hadn't taken in the realization that Maggie was
married -- to a man.
"You can be both, you know. Like boys and girls equally." She looked across
again.
"We have an understanding," she began "Paul lets me have my fun as long as
it doesn't interfere with him or Robbie."
"Is that what you call me? Fun!" I was shocked.
"No! No, please. I don't know what to call it. I love girls as well as men,
but I have a child who needs a stable home."
"That's not what you just showed him" I retorted and bit my lip at my own
stupidity immediately.
Maggie swung the Land Rover left off the road into a field entrance. I
thought she was going to be angry, but she wasn't, she was just hopeless.
"I love Paul and I love Robbie. It's just that every now and then I want to
be loved differently. And sometimes, I just find someone I want to love very
much indeed."
Now tears sprang from both eyes and rolled down her cheeks.
"Oh shit!"
And she dabbed at her eyes, trying to dispel the tears. Now I noticed the
wrinkles at the corner of her eyes and her disheveled hair. She leant
forward, holding onto the wheel and without a restraining bra, her breasts
swung forward and down towards her waist as well.
Older maybe, but certainly not wiser.
We sat in silence for a few minutes as Maggie sniffled and wiped. Eventually
she gathered herself, preparing to drive off. A bus went past as she waited.
"Let's get you home."
"It's not my home, Maggie. I'm really going home next week. And then back to
school."
"School. That was a long time ago for me. Oh god, you're sixteen what am I
doing?" With a scant look over her shoulder she gunned the Land Rover back
onto the road.
"It's not just girls your age. But sometime, I feel I need the warmth and
love of another woman. Not a man forcing himself on you, no primping and
painting myself just to please him. I just want the love of a woman."
She glanced over. I glared back. What should have been a loving conclusion
to the day was turning ugly. And I wasn't helping, I knew.
"You wait. It'll come to you too."
"I thought I was more to you than just tits and a cunt. I thought you were
interested in me."
Her face crumpled and the tears flowed unabated down her cheeks.
"It's not like that. You know it's not. Oh Rachel, don't believe that of
me!"
Now we were descending the hill into town. I wanted to be rid of her company
immediately.
"Pull over here. I'll walk."
She slowed the van.
"Please don't be cross. Let's just talk."
I stared ahead.
"Pull over here!"
She stopped the van at the curb, and I opened the door.
"Rachel, please!"
I stopped and looked over my shoulder at Maggie. Her tear-stained face
looked even older, and her imploring seemed desperate. I was revolted.
"Kiss me goodbye, at least"
Slowly, I shook my head and very softly I said
"No."

I got back to the cottage at five minutes to five, according to my watch.
Mum wasn't back and of course I didn't have a key. I was ravenously hungry
and needed food desperately. I walked further into the town ad stopped at
the baker where I bought the last two jam doughnuts on display. They were
getting dry already, but they tasted so good to me then.
I munched both doughnuts on my way back to the Market Square and plonked
myself on the bench just along from the cottage, thinking about Maggie. Was
it possible that I could be like her in fifteen years or so? Picking up
girls for a quick flurry before beetling back to husband? I couldn't imagine
it, but the necessity of hiding my sexuality worried me again. Just a few
seconds later Mum came bustling along with Little Brother.
"Darling, sorry! Have you been waiting long? He lost his binoculars and we
had to go back!"
"Hi Mum, no not too long. It's ok, honestly."
She unlocked the door and in we went. I headed straight for the bathroom to
have a wee and brush my teeth, hopefully that would hide the musky, sweaty
smell of stale sex. Next, I wanted a cup of tea.

The next day was the day for Mum to take Toby to be with his father. I
refused to come; I just did not want to see my father ever again. I still
felt abandoned and betrayed; my absolute and child's love for him had been
shattered forever when he left. It wasn't just that he'd left Mum, I felt
he'd left me as well.
So I stayed in the cottage, and as the rain fell I only went out to get
something for us to eat that evening. I remade the bed in the back bedroom
and moved my clothes out of the front bedroom I had shared with Mum.
Mum returned in the car at about 6 and I made her some tea, insisting that
I'd make dinner too. After the episode with Maggie, I needed to feel that I
had some worth as well in addition to my sexuality, and so when Mum realized
that I'd spent the day dusting, cleaning and hoovering my heart swelled with
received love and appreciation.
The following day dawned damp but drying, and we decided to celebrate our
femaleness with a full day's shopping in Plymouth. While the day started
cool, by early afternoon it was sweltering in the concrete city. We played
with cosmetics, tried on clothes, had lunch and generally bonded in older
sister/younger sister mode again. On the way home, we listened to the
weather forecast for the next day; fine, clear and warm.
"Let's go to that beach of yours! I could do with a tan."
Oh no. My heart fell through the floor.
"Mum,  it is nude only."
"Fine by me!"

I had though she wouldn't go through with it. Or perhaps she'd keep a pair
of flesh-coloured knickers on. But no, Mum stripped off -- standing up as
well -- to the buff.
I looked up at her as she stood before me. Her boobs were higher and tighter
than Maggie's, belly a little bigger, and then-
"Mum! You're trimmed too!"
My mother had trimmed her pubic hair very closely indeed. Her sex was
plainly visible between the short brown hair. Oh god.
"I got the idea from you, daughter dear! Seemed appropriate somehow; shave a
bit and somehow seem to show less. I don't know."
She spread her towel and lay on the shingle beside me, face down.
"Squirt some anti-burn stuff on me will you. It's in my bag."
I ferreted around in the bag, found a tube and squirted some on her
shoulders. The aroma of coconut filled the air; I loved it. I spread the
cream across her shoulders and down her back. But I had to take a deep
breath before rubbing it across her buttocks and thighs. Relieved that the
ordeal was over, I lay on my back and spread artificial coconut oil over my
skin as well.
As the morning slipped into early afternoon, the beach grew hotter and
hotter. The cove was populated by no more than three couples and half a
dozen singles so we all had plenty of `privacy' space between us. No-one
could feel overlooked or spied upon. But I still felt a little uncomfortable
laying next to my naked mother. She turned over and spread sun cream on her
boobs and stomach. I couldn't help it, I sat up and looked at her, spread
out before me. Her boobs parted on her chest, leaning towards her armpits,
but her nipples remained light pink on her skin, just like mine. Lower, her
body showed the passage of pregnancy with fine stretch mark each side of her
belly. Her clipped pubis stood proud of her stomach and I thought I could
see labia protruding from her slit as mine did.
"Looking into the future?" Mum had opened one eye open to look at me.
"Mm?" I looked away embarrassed.
"I thought you were seeing how your body would look in twenty years' time."
I giggled nervously, but glad of the diversion.
"I suppose so. But Mum, I think you still look great"
She laughed. "I think I'll take that as a compliment!"

After lunch I had to cool off in the sea; it was just too hot there on the
shingle. I'd brought Little Brother's goggles and flippers with me so I put
them on and backed into the water. I knew how ridiculous I looked; covered
on the face, covered on the feet and totally naked in between!
I slipped into the waves and breast-stroked out on the lazy surf for twenty
or thirty yards. I flipped over onto my back and just drifted in the cool
water.
There's no feeling like swimming naked. The water flows with you and through
you without the encumbrance of clothing to restrict it. My hair spread out
around me in the water forming a halo about my head; it felt wonderful. I
turned on my front again and dived. And suddenly I was among angels.
A million tiny silver fish swam past me so closely that I could not see my
hand in front of my face. I felt the current of the swimming mass all over
my body. I turned about and they turned too, becoming silver and then
transparent according to the sun. In another moment they were gone.
I surfaced excited to tell Mum what I had seen. As I looked towards the land
I identified her on the beach and realized that someone was stooping over
her in conversation. I didn't hurry in, but I wanted to know who dared
approach my Mum.
In the shallows, as I clumsily removed the flippers, I saw the figure to be
male. He was around thirty, with a good muscular body and plenty of gold
hair and an allover tan. I trudged up the beach.
"This is my daughter Rachel." Mum beamed at me and at him.
"Rachel, this is  . . ."
"Robbie." He interjected
My head jerked up and I stumbled out a `Hello'. Coincidental names; just
coincidence.
I sat down and dried myself with the towel, and I ignored my mother's
conversation with this interloper.
But now she sat up, and hugged one knee and then the other, turning left and
right before him, exactly as Queenie and Cathy had done on the same spot.
I was aghast. My mother was giving a man sex signals. From the corner of my
eye, I observed her pressing one thigh to her breast, stretching the other
out before her and showing her lips between. She was being `girly', enjoying
the attention and wanting to be admired.
It's not that I thought that my Mum was beyond the age for sex. It's just
that I was surprised to see her reflexes in operation so openly. My Dad had
left her more than a year before and I hadn't been aware of her expressing
any needs for sex or companionship since then. But then I wouldn't, would I?
I was too busy figuring out my own sexuality and dealing with hormones
fizzing and sparking through my body like uncontrollable fireworks.

On the Saturday, feeling increasingly frustrated and guilty over Maggie I
wandered over to the boat hire kiosk to see Eloise. She smiled and said
hello, but didn't seem terribly pleased to see me.
"I wondered if you and the others wanted to go to the beach again tomorrow--
I'm going back to London next week."
"Not sure if it's a good idea to ask them, Rachel." And she gave me a long
look. In the silence that followed I floundered around trying to work out
what she meant and how things had changed.
"We saw you. With Maggie."
Oh no. I put out my hand for steadiness onto the counter-top.
"We were on a bus, and we saw you with her in the Land Rover."
The world shrank and twisted; I was exposed.
"It doesn't matter to me, Rachel. You can love whoever you want. But the
others don't like girls who like girls, and I've got to live here after
you've gone home. I'm sorry."
She put out her hand and just touched her finger onto the back of my hand.
Just one touch.
"I'm sorry, Rae. I don't think we should go to the beach again."

I turned away in silence and walked a little further down the quay, and sat
at a vacant bench facing the water.
The disastrous parting with Maggie had sealed my fate in both directions.
I'd been a bitch to her and allowed myself to be vicious and spiteful,
almost for fun. Certainly for no benefit to myself as Eloise and Cathy and
Queenie had seen me in Maggie's company. Quite logically they had reached a
conclusion. They found me guilty by association, whereas I knew myself to be
just plain guilty.
Now I wanted to go home; not back to the cottage, but home to London. I
wanted to return to the familiar territory of Hillie, JJ and school. My
feelings for Nikki were fading, as I secretly had known they would. At least
she had left the rest of my London world intact, whereas my mistake here
with Maggie had shattered everything here.

Mum dropped a bombshell of a different kind when I got back to the cottage.
Would I mind awfully if she went out for the evening with Robbie. She was so
excited, I couldn't possibly say that I did mind. In fact, I felt so
miserable with myself that an evening of mindless television and eating
yogurt really appealed to me. I was due for my period very soon and starting
to feel bloated and sludgy as always.
Mum spent ages in the bathroom and upstairs getting ready. She hadn't had
time to get her hair done or anything, so she'd fussed it around with some
kind of home treatment, and it looked fine. At last I heard her coming
downstairs.
"Do I look ok?"
She looked fine. Blondish hair swept back, v-neck black top, terracotta
trousers and high-heeled black sandals. Plus a single string of real pearls
around her neck, pearl earrings and bracelet. She carried a black leather
bag and draped a black blouson round her shoulders.
"Be good. I'll be back around midnight, so don't wait up"
"Have fun, Mum. Bye."

All alone I ate supper in front of the telly. I got my sketchbook, and
unhooked the mirror from the bathroom wall and settled down to do a
self-portrait. Somewhere in the middle of the late film, I must have fallen
asleep, because when Mum gently woke me the television was fizzing at the
end of the evening's broadcast. She leant over me brushing my hair away from
my eyes.
"Wake up Miss Sleepy, time to go up to bed."
I opened my eyes and tried to make sense of what I saw. Sitting up I began
to shuffle off towards my bedroom. My mouth tasted sour and disgusting, but
I couldn't be bothered to brush my teeth. I sloughed my clothes and got into
bed. I looked at my watch; it was a quarter to four in the morning. This was
strange enough, but the oddest thing was that when Mum had gone out that
evening, her black top was the right way out, but when she returned and woke
me she was wearing it inside out.

Mum saw Robbie several more times before the end of the holiday. She looked
happier than I had seen her for years, it was obvious that just having a man
who valued her had done wonders to her self-esteem. She half-discussed the
idea of staying on a few more days, whereas all I wanted to do was get home.
But the sheer practicalities of finding another cottage or flat in the
summer season put paid to that idea and we packed up to go home as planned.
Me eagerly, she dolefully.

At home there were several letters waiting for me. Two from Hillie, the
first one looking forward to going up north with Vernon for some `do' at
Guy's parents' home. But the second was just a couple of days old and she
seemed so miserable "everything has gone wrong", and I knew I had to phone
her. There were surprise letters, too; one from Bernadette, sent from
Ireland, full of clues and nods; and one from Guy bemoaning the recent
events and wanting to see me. I couldn't wait. I had to phone Hillie
immediately to find out what on earth had happened.

"Are you alright?"
"I suppose."
"What happened at Guy's?"
"It was a sort of formal do. Y'know, everyone dressed up with a dance band
on the lawn -- huge country estate."
"Sounds great!"
"I got a bit merry. Well actually I passed out."
"Oh, Hillie."
"It just got worse from there."
"What do you mean?"
"I woke up and my dress was up and I felt y'know squashy, down there. And
Vernon was there with his trousers down. Oh god he" And her voice dissolved
into sobs and tears. She almost broke my heart there and then. I wanted to
be with her at that moment to comfort her and kiss away the awfulness.
"I'm coming over."
"No! No, I'll see you at school, not before."

Next I called Guy. A cultured voice answered and asked my name. I gave it
and waited for what seemed like years. At last I heard footsteps close to
the phone and a rattle as someone picked up the receiver.
"Rachel! Darling how are you?"
"Guy? What's happened?"
"Thank god you've called. All this has got quite ugly. Don't really know
what's going to happen next or what."
"Guy. Tell me what happened"
And it all came spilling out in sentences and phrases to which I listened
and re-constructed into a logical order.
The occasion was Guy's parents' Silver wedding do. It was a grand affair at
something he called `the Castle' with a marquee on the lawn, luncheon for
150 guests, a dance band, a brass band, a disco in the evening and barbecue
for the kids and hangers-on. It seems that after the formal lunch, Hillie
carried on with the vodka martini's with disastrous results. After laughing
hysterically during the speeches, she slipped ungraciously beneath the table
and was heard throwing up on the grass. Vernon and others helped carry her
to a first floor bedroom overlooking the lawns where she was put to bed.
Some time later during the late afternoon, a piercing scream was heard from
the upstairs of the castle. Guy and his brothers, Horatio and Charles
pounded up the staircase and into the room where the sound came from.
And there sat Hillie, on the end of the bed with her clothing awry and
Master Vernon with his trousers down and his willy out, kneeling on the
floor between her legs.
End of story.
Hillie claimed she was raped, Vernon swore she consented. Six of one, half a
dozen of the other? But as half the society of the county was at the
gathering, the Chief Constable had to initiate an enquiry.
"Which is where it stands at the moment. Awful isn't it?"
"Yes, quite hideous. What did your parents say?"
"Mama was not impressed, but Pops was a lot more stoical. Organised Horatio
and me to close the gates immediately, Charlie to take all car registrations
etcetera. You know, proper Army procedures."
"Who do you believe, Guy?"
"Don't know. Vernon's plonker enough to do it, but she seems enough of a
tease to call `foul'. Don't know. Rotten business."
"Hillie wouldn't!" He grunted non-committantly.
"I'd love to come and see you. Would that be convenient? Name your day, of
course"
"Guy, let me think about this. I mean I'd love you to come, but I need a few
days to unwind and sort things out. Besides, I want to see Hillie."
"Yes of course. Of course you do. I'll call you towards next week. See if
you're free."

I sat on the stairs in a daze. Had Hillie been raped? Had she consented?
Knowing her, but not knowing the circumstances I couldn't guess, I just
prayed she wasn't pregnant.

Twelve days away: the first day of the school term. I couldn't wait

_______________________________________________________________________________
There will be one more part of Rachel at school -- I know that's not what I
wrote before, but other things have surfaced. Then I shall move on to my
story at Art School. Hope you enjoy this. Tell me what you think via
rachelfrizz@hotmail.co.uk. Bye, Rae.