Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003 07:37:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: Cristina <genx0022003@yahoo.com>
Subject: realizations - 8

Note:  Harmony's name has changed to Cristina.

I went to school the next day and put on my front.  I
tried to act like everything was okay.  Luckily, we
had a lab in Physics, so Crystal and Daniel let me get
away with just sitting there while they did the lab.
I went to 2nd and layed my head down on the table.
Jen came in and sat down and asked me what happened.
I told her I didn't feel like talking about it and
lucky for me she didn't push it.  She started talking
about the Ag fundraiser and said the stuff came in.  I
asked her how much I owed her and she had completely
forgot I ordered anything from her.  She looked it up
and said I owed her $17 and since I had it on me I
gave it to her.  She said I could come by her house
later and pick it up.  She said she could call first
and I gave her my number.  We just started laughing
and joking around after that.  It felt great.  I was
surprised I was having fun again already.  The rest of
school went by pretty fast.  I went home and waited
for her to call.  It was almost 5 when she finally
called.  She told me I could come get my stuff and
apologized for taking so long.  She explained that she
and Torrence had been getting stuff ready for her
mom's garage sale next weekend.  I told her it was
fine I didn't have any pressing plans anyways and told
her I'd be over in a few minutes.  She lives a few
blocks down from Dominique so it wasn't hard to find
her.  I pulled up and she wasn't there yet.  She had
called from her mom's cellphone so I knew there was a
possibility that I would beat her home.  I waited a
few minutes.  I saw her and Torrence pull up in her
mom's green Honda Civic.  She said hey and before we
even got into the house she asked me what I was doing
and if I wanted to hang out at her house for a while.
I said sure but I had to be home before 8 so I could
beat my dad home.  She said okay and we went inside.
Jen and Torrence were talking while me and Jen played
Dr. Wario on N64.  She was kicking my ass so I just
started building towns and stuff with the pills.  If
you've never played the game it's like Tetris with
pills instead of blocks.  Torrence left before I did
and I was on my way out the door when Jen asked if I
wanted to hang out this weekend.  I said sure just
give me a call first and I'd be over.  She gave me a
hug before I left.  I left and woke up the next
morning just in time to catch the phone on the third
ring.  It was Jen.  She asked if I was still coming
over to hang out and I said sure just give me a few
minutes to wake up.  She said okay and warned me it
might be kinda boring because she had to clean house
and asked if I could bring my CD's.  I'm known for
being a music freak.  I have 3, 72 cd holders full.
So, I said of course.  She said okay and I went to go
change and brush my hair and a few minutes later I was
at her house hanging out watching her vaccuum and
listening to my CD's.  We pretty much just talked and
hung out the entire day.  We ended up back at my house
because Jen wanted to hear me play guitar.  It was
weird.  I usually don't play for anyone.  I'm really
shy and introverted, but I hide it pretty well around
her.  I'm playing and Jennifer's listening hardcore.
It decide to make things even and make her go back to
her house so I can hear her play piano.  It's awesome
and she has a kick ass voice too.  All too soon I have
to go.  She gives me a hug and says she'll call me
later.  I don't see her again until Monday when I go
up to Wendy's.  She's on break so she comes over to
talk to me until James shows up.  He asks what friend
it was that had the girlfriend and I tell him straight
out that would be me.  He says cool and asks how
that's going.  I tell him I dumped her because she
cheated on me with this guy.  And he says that sux and
he's sorry.  I leave after that and come back the next
day.  She looks pissed when I walk in.  She goes off
on me.  "Where the hell were you yesterday?  I tried
to call you yesterday 3 times and twice today."  I
don't say anything I just laugh.  I can't help it.
Half because she's really pissed at me and half out of
relief that it's something stupid.  She asks what the
hell is so funny.  I told her if she stopped and
listened to herself she'd be laughing too.  She stops
and cracks up laughing.  "So, what are you doing here
anyways?"  "I just came to see you."  She says wow
none of her other friends come see her at work.  She
says she feels special.  I give her my pager number
before I leave and tell her I'll talk to her later
because a lot of people are milling in and business is
starting to pick up.  The next day she calls but I
don't hear the phone but she pages me twice so I call
her back thinking it's probably important.  She
answers and asks if I can come over and house sit
because she has a job interview at Dairy Queen and her
mom's at work and Torrence and James are busy.  I tell
her I have alot of people at my house because David,
Danelope, and Dominique are all over at my house.  She
sounds dissappointed.  "So, you can't do it.  That's
fine."  "I didn't say I couldn't do it.  I just need a
few minutes to get everyone out of my house."  "Thank
you so much Cristina.  I will love you forever."  I
tell her okay and ask if I can bring anyone over.  She
says sure and asks like who.  I tell her just
Dominique and Danelope.  She says sure that we can
watch TV or whatever.  She tells me if she's not there
when we get there to just walk in and wait till she
gets back.  I said okay and a few minutes later we
were over at her house.  She's still there when we get
there.  Me and Danelope find the Tarot cards and fuck
with them a while and tell her her future before she
leaves.  The cards say she'll get the job, but she'll
be a pregnant widow soon, which is pretty funny
considering that's one of her biggest fears.  She was
telling me the other day on the phone about this
nightmare she had that she was pregnant by James.  She
said they're going to start using protection and I
just laugh and tell her she probably won't.  She
laughs and says I'm probably right.  She leaves for
her interview and Daniel reads my future.  It says
that 3 people close to me will die, one that I'm in
love with, and one day I'll have everything I want.
Jen comes back.  She got the job.  Daniel just left so
not it's just the 3 of us.  I pull out my chapstick
and put some on and Jen takes it from me and acts like
she's going to eat it.  Dominique asks if she can use
some and I tell her no.  I was just joking but she
gets all defensive.  Jen justs laughs and says that
privelidge is reserved for her and puts some on.  I
put some more on after that and Jen calls me on it.
See look, I can tell how bad she wants me.  She puts
chapstick on right after it's been on my lips and
doesn't even try to clean it.  I just laugh it off
even though I know she's right.  I hand it to
Dominique and we just drop the whole thing.  We hang
out for a few minutes and Dominique asks me to drop
her off.  We drop her off and go back to Jen's house
and she asks if I wanna do something.  I say sure and
we go grab something to eat at Wendy's.  We're in the
parking lot about to go in and Jen's checking her hair
out in the mirror.  She has to know how hot she is.
We walk in and she's still messing with her hair.  I
decide to fuck with her so I tell her yes Jennifer
your hair looks like shit can we move on now.  Fuck
you.  And I tell her I was just messing with her that
she really does look fine I just assumed she knew that
already.  Insecure.  I'm surprised.  What does she
have to be insecure around me for?  We sit down and
wait for her order and Crystal and David run up and
start banging on the outside door.  Jen is still
finishing up so I walk outside to take care of them.
"Aww, Cristina how cute.  We interupted your first
date."  "Shut the hell up she probably heard that."
They were really starting to piss me off at this
point.  She comes outside and we're ready to go but
they have my truck blocked in and they're banging on
my doors and being really retarded.  Crystal shoves me
up against my door and starts humping my leg.
Jennifer's inside the truck smoking a ciggarette like
she didn't have a care in the world.  I'm like okay
you guys had your fun can we go now?  They take off
and tell us to enjoy the rest of our date.  And we
leave.  I apologize for my friends being assholes.
She says don't worry about it.  They're pretty funny.
I ask her if she wants to go back to her house.  And
she asks if I'm leaving yet?  I say no not unless she
wants me to.  And she says of course not why would she
want me to leave?  I said I don't know I'd be
embarrassed if someone accused me of being gay in a
public place.  She said no it doesn't bother her that
a lot of people think she swings both ways anyways.
She asks if I want to go to Tyler with her Wed. after
school and I say sure I just have to clear it with my
dad.  She says cool and we go back to her house and
hang out for a few hours.  She asks me if I've ever
seen a dildo and I'm like yeah.  I've used a few
before too.  Her eyes bug out and she runs to go get
hers.  She had a friend buy her one in Tyler.  This
thing is about 8 in long, 3in wide, and glows in the
dark.  She tells me to hold it and cracks up when she
turns it on.  I'm laughing but I don't see what the
big deal is.  It's not like I've never seen one
before.  She puts the dildo back in her drawer and we
stay in her room listening to her new Outkast CD.
She's trying to rap with Big Boi but she can't keep up
so I help her out a little.  She's cracking up because
she thought I only listened to punk and rock.  Nope I
like Outkast and Ludacris too.  We're laying there
watching her cat play with this stuffed fish in her
room and I'm cracking up laughing.  "Look Jen your cat
is eating that fish."  "Good kitty.  Be a good lesbian
just like your mommy taught you."  "What did you just
say.  I'm going to disregard that last comment because
I know you couldn't have said what I think you just
said."  She just laughs.  I'm really confused.  We're
laying there and our faces are really close.  She
moves closer and I pull away and stand up really fast
and ask "So, what songs did you want on that CD u
wanted me to burn for you?"  I know, I know, but I
couldn't do it.  Something told me it would be a big
mistake, so she says.  "So, I guess it's time for me
to take you home huh?"  "I said yeah I guess" and she
drives me back to my house.  We go inside and we're
talking about prom and I tell her I'm probably not
going.  She asks why.  She knows I already have a
dress.  I just don't want to go and I don't know what
to do with my hair and makeup.  She asks if I want her
to do my hair and makeup and I say sure.  She says
cool and heads for the door.  I stop her get a hug and
tell her I love her.  She says she loves me too and
leaves.  Let me clear this up.  We've been saying I
love you to each other for awhile now.  It's strictly
out of friendship I think.  We have a week off school
coming up and I'm in second block the next Monday and
I ask Jen what she's doing next week.  Nothing I was
actually going to ask if you wanted to hang out since
James is going to his grandparents.  Sure I said.  She
tells me there's a carnival coming Wed. and she really
wants me to go because she really doesn't want to go
with anyone else.  James always gets sick after the
first ride.  I say sure why not?  She comes over on
Monday and we hang out for awhile.  James hasn't left
yet so we all hang out at the bowling alley and me and
Jen are watching them play pool.  There's four of us
because James brought his friend Matt who to say the
least is slightly getting on Jen's nerves.  James asks
her what's wrong and she tells him about Matt.  He
starts whining saying if she can bring a friend why
can't he?  She says that's different, you like
Cristina you already told me that I don't like Matt.
But, she ends up compromising and lets it go and
tolerates Matt.  She's asking me if I wanna play and
I'm like no that's okay I don't know how.  So, she
plays the next game with James.  She kicks his ass and
James and Matt play another game.  Then that song by
Uncle Kracker comes on.  You know that song Follow Me.
 Well, Jen starts singing it to me right when it
starts the line "I'm not worried bout the ring you
wear cause as long as no one knows than nobody can
care."  The whole time I'm looking at the ring on
Jen's finger.  James proposed last week.  He's going
into the military soon though.  So, in all probability
one of her Tarot fortunes will come true.  I'm still
laughing at Jen because she's poll dancing with the
pool stick now.  She's fucking hilarious, it's great.
She keeps coming over to me and whispering shit about
Matt and I'm laughing and James gets pissed and asks
what we're laughing about.  He's really insecure too
and he thinks we're talking about him.  We tell him
we're not and he looks satisfied for now.  We end up
going to Dairy Queen afterwards and James is still
convinced we're talking about him.  It's starting to
piss me off.  I tell him off.  "Dude, we haven't said
anything about you, chill out, we're laughing at your
friend."  Jen just starts laughing histerically.
"James just got charged up", she says and laughs some
more.  She starts in between laughs, "Wow even
Torrence doesn't have the balls to charge James up."
I apologize to James for being such a bitch and tell
him it was just getting on my nerves because we really
weren't talking about him.  He barely says two words
on the drive back.  I hang at her house for a few
minutes and then leave to go back home.  She says
she'll call or come over tomorrow after he leaves.