Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 23:33:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Brittany Gay <tomgirlx93@yahoo.com>
Subject: Stories from a Life- Break up pending/Adult friends/Lesbian

Tomgirlx93@yahoo.com
Stories From a Life- Break Up Pending/College/
June 17, 2007
COPYRIGHT 2007

    Author's Note: This tale would not leave my mind. I thought it would
be too far fetched to write about, but my friends found the idea funny.
So don't be shy, write and let me know how it is. I had a lot of fun
writing this story. Hope it's fun to read.
--------------------------------------------


     I stood in the middle of the sidewalk, with my mouth hanging open.
The cell phone in my hand just dangled, barely in my grasp. It took a
moment for me to realize what had just happened. It had to be a joke, but
from the tear stained voice of my girlfriend on the other line I knew it
was true.
**************************************
Three hours before...


    I stood there with my back against the kitchen sink, staring blankly
into my mug of black coffee. Usually I would sweeten the brew with lots
of cream and sugar. However I just could not think straight. I was not
me. The thoughts in my head were driving me mad. I didn't want to do
what I felt I had to do. As I stood there mentally rehearsing what I
would say, I could hear Charisma singing in the shower. I would have been
in there with her, any other morning, but this was not any other morning.
That was the day I had planned to break up with my girlfriend. After all
of the over analyzing I had done, a week or so prior, I felt it was only
fair to end it. I could no longer carry on with such a relationship. When
I had woken up that morning, I purposely got into the shower before she
had to get up. As the last of the soap suds were rinsed from my skin, the
shower curtain opened and there stood Charisma in the nude. I normally
would have been highly turned on, by her slender curves and taut stomach.
I would have pulled her in and fucked her until I was satisfied. That
morning I just could not go through with the usual. It would have
complicated the matter. When I had resisted her touch, I made up an
excuse about needing to hurry and make coffee. She complied with a pout I
always found too cute to ignore. I needed to be strong though, if I
wanted The Plan to work.

    In the kitchen, looking down at my coffee, I ran the lines through my
mind. The lines to end our intense relationship: "Ok, wait for her to
come in the kitchen, tell her like it is, watch her cry and run out, feel
like a asshole, go back to Chicago and be yourself forever. Mission
complete."

    This Plan I had finally concluded with, just days before, did not
seem all that easy anymore. I wondered how exactly I was going to pull
that situation off. I knew it needed to be done face to face, but the
very thought was making me nauseous. I understood that avoiding the
matter wouldn't be smart. I had to jump into it head first. Just as I
was about to rehearse again, Charisma floated into the room.

"It's not the way that I want it, it's just the way that I need it,
daaaaay after daaaaay..." She sang along with her iPod, as though Kelly
Osbourne never sounded so good.

    Charisma was dressed for a morning jog, but was only on her way to
the movie studio. She had been offered a new part in a film and, for the
last eight weeks, she had been up early for filming. It was her second
film, since moving to L.A. She was famous and I was The Girlfriend.

"Uhhh..." I started The Plan, with trying to get her attention.

    Charisma removed her headphones and moved in closer, when she saw I
had something to say. Before I could go on, she smacked playful kisses on
my lips. Her stomach was pressing into mine and her arms were wrapped
around my neck. Immediately I realized she never smelled so good or
looked so pretty. Charisma's girlishly delicate features were stunning.
Those big brown eyes always had an indescribable sparkle. That long blond
hair was always flawless, even if she did it herself. Charisma did in
fact have that movie-star appearance, complete with a perfect smile. It
was just too good to be true, I felt. Either I did not deserve her or
this glam life would have insane dark points. I did not want to stick
around for either reason to explode in my face. I dealt better with
things I did not expect, rather than knowing it was coming.

"You are so hot!" Charisma gushed, as she squeezed my ass.

    She kissed me harder, trying desperately to suck my tongue into her
mouth. Her hands found the straps to my robe, then undid them with nimble
fingers. Soon her warm hands found the moist flesh underneath the red
silk cloth. From the way she was cooing and kissing, I knew Charisma
wanted me to take her right there and then. I knew that could not happen.
Though I would have had her thrown across the marble counter by then, I
had a mission to accomplish. If she wasn't being so sweet, I probably
would have succeeded.

"Ashley, please." She was begging softly against my lips.

"I, um..." I trailed off as her finger tips grazed my nipples.

    My skin was growing hot. I had to push her away, before I lost more
of myself. Where did all of that bravado go, I asked myself. Where was
that head-nodding decision I had concluded with to leave this girl? My
skull was spinning from both the gentle foreplay and my dashing thoughts.
Charisma felt my resistance. She tried to hide her disappointment, with a
faint smile. I could no longer look at her. Turning away, I went to doing
the few dishes that were in the sink.

"What are you doing?" Charisma asked, after a unforgiving silence.

"Huh?" I glanced over my shoulder and went back to cleaning a bowl, for
the fourth time.

"I'll be home early. Will you?" Charisma asked as she gathered her
things to leave.

I could hear annoyance in her voice. I had been pushing her away for the
last few days. The excuses were silly, but they had worked. The old `I
have a headache' ran out of novelty quick, so I had to come up with
better reasons as to why I would resist her touch. Charisma did feel
good. Even laying next to me at night, her body was just so comforting.
However I knew it was time for me to leave her. Two years was just too
long for me. I was starting to feel old and I had just turned twenty-one.

"Maybe." I answered, finally putting that bowl away to work on another.

"You have been..." She started but then paused.

    We just looked at each other, for a few beats. Charisma stood over my
shoulder as I gazed at her sideways. Then she smiled and kissed me
goodbye, before leaving. I stood there for a moment and then cursed
myself repeatedly. From then on, I knew breaking up was going to be alot
more difficult than I had dreded. I went to the bedroom to get dressed
and do my hair. As I sat in front of the vanity, I thought of all the
mornings Charisma would do this for me. Not that she wasn't a great
lover, but the whole celebrity life was getting to me. There was a knock
at the door, thirty minutes into me getting ready. It was Frankie, just
on time.

"So, how did it go?" She had asked, when I let her in.

"Badly. It's still not done." I answered.

    Frankie flew in from Chicago, the night before. She was aware of my
decision and very supportive, though she did not fully agree. She thought
I was nuts. Thus Frankie did comprehend why I needed to leave Charisma.
What she could not grasp was why anyone would dream of leaving someone
like Charisma. She was pleasantly sweet, gorgeous, had a hilarious sense
of humor and famous. I was living the lifestyle Frankie, our friends and
I had dreamed of living since we were kids. Frankie helped primp my hair,
pick out an outfit and then we hit Rodeo Drive. The luxurious strip was
directly outside of the apartment building. A dream come true for any
girl, whom loved to shop.

"Well I hope you're all packed up. I mean I am here to wisk you back
home." Frankie said, as we walked out of the Diesel store. A pair of
jeans had caught my eye in the window display.

"Sweetie, I've already gotten that done." I said.

"I can't believe this. I just can't. If my girl was famous, I would
stick with it even if she was beating my ass." Frankie referred to an
episode Charisma and I had, two weeks before.

"It's not about the money. It's about not being able to handle such a
life."

    Frankie just shook her head. "Bitch, I think you're fucking up
something beautiful."

"Oh well thanks. What happened to Ms. You Can Do It?"

"Well I was trying to be supportive, so you wouldn't freak out. I mean
if you feel you absolutely need to do this, then do it. If you would
rather bone and not settle down with a girl, then do it. I just can't
understand why you are letting a silly fight and bogus tabloids get to
you."

     I just wanted to be myself and not living in the public shadows of
someone else's life. I had been with Charisma since I was nineteen.
Nothing felt real. To see your girlfriend everyday is one thing. To also
see her on the cover of a magazine or on television or movie screen is
another. We were never alone in public, Charisma and I. There was always
someone that recognized her, from those damned movies of hers'. At first
I thought it was cool for some man to hide in bushes, just to snap a
picture of Charisma. It seemed she became famous over night.

    One moment she was this southern girl from Kentucky, I wanted to
avoid. Then she left for LA to be an extra in low budget films. When we
met, Charisma was this sixteen year old kid, that had big dreams. They
seemed so unreal. Not only was she full of high hopes of becoming
famous, she also had hopes of dating me. It took a year of her floating
around me, for my feelings to set in. I could see she was absolutely
adorable, but wasn't fond of the fact that she was still in high school,
while I was moving on to college. I was only eighteen, but felt older
than I was. Charisma might as well had been twelve years old to me, at
the time. I found myself upset with Frankie anytime she brought Charisma
around. Frankie was the very person to transform the girl from
unfashionable to flawless. When Charisma turned seventeen that following
year, her white-bread mother sent her to LA, to find small parts in indie
films. I ended up missing her because she had always been around.
Charisma would come back to visit, every other month. She slowly became
more attractive to me. Her features seemed to become more womanly, with
every return back to Chicago. By the time I finally moved out there with
her, I really thought I was really in love.

    Charisma was very lucky on her conquest to becoming a star. She was
trying for a part, after months of doing work as a extra in films. The
role Charisma was trying out for was to be the friend of a main
character. Rather impressed by her efforts, the director and casting
couch felt Charisma was right for the lead role. The film, All the Good
Girls, made Charisma Collin's name shine. It was the first lesbian
movie, in Hollywood film history, to win multiple awards. What started
out as any other summer film, turned out to be one of the greatest
lesbian-based scripts ever written. Brokeback Mountain has nothing on
this box office hit. Surprising it was to both lesbians and the national
media. This role earned Charisma spots in mainstream movies, for that
following fall. The best part, her being an out lesbian did not hurt her
career, but added to Charisma's success. As a first time actor she was
both celebrated for her talent and a hero to many young gay girls.

    I should have been in dreamland. I should have been living every
young lesbian's wildest dream. It was fantastic for a while. I was loving
the whole Rodeo drive scene and the cameras flashing on the very person I
was dating. Shopping and tanning all day was incredible. All I had to
worry about was staying in love with that person that provided me with
those things. I felt in love. I was sure I was. I felt why else am I
suddenly crazy about some girl whom I could not tolerate? There must have
been a reason why I eventually fell for Charisma. It wasn't about her
fame, since I moved in with her just before she earned that lead role,
that made her big.


    It was that crazy night, of her director's birthday party, that I
started considering going back home and staying there for good. For the
last two years many things about our relationship scared me. The hints
about wanting a baby started the fear. Those sort of conversations began
about three months after offically dating. We would be walking down Rodeo
drive, going about our day with no worries. Then suddenly a small child
would cross our path randomly.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid, that looked just like us both?"
Charisma would ask in that sweet, nonchalant tone.

    I had tried to agree, without looking freaked out by the idea. Maybe
she noticed, maybe she didn't.  It wasn't that I hated children, I just
never thought myself to be the motherly type. Though I am the most
feminine of girls, I was never fond of baby dolls as a kid, let alone
thinking of ever having a real baby some day. If it wasn't baby-talk, it
was Charisma encouraging for us to elope. Marriage was never on my list
of things to accomplish in life either. The topics of babies and marriage
became heavier toward the end of our two year relationship. "Eloping is
too sudden, I think. We should wait until the press is off your ass.
Plus, we're still kids." This was how I would respond to her offers of
seriously cementing our partnership.

"The press is nothing. I can handle them. We can handle them." Charisma
would retort. "And we are not too young to get married."

    I would pause for a moment, thinking "We can handle them? Do you mean
you and your celebrity ego? I can't even handle the chubby camera men
lurking around LA, trying to sneak a picture of someone famous." A week
or so before I made my decision to leave Charisma, the Inquiry Weekly
caught us on vacation in Bermuda. It was more like a business trip.
Charisma was asked to do a photo shoot, for Vogue magazine and to also
promote one of her up-and-coming movies. Charima's face and acting
ability was the 'big thing' at that time. Though she was fresh on the
Hollywood scene, Charisma was in high demand. Her being an out lesbian
did not hurt her career at all, but was actually celebrated. This demand
for her required Charisma to be in a place like Tokyo one day and then be
on a plane to Paris the next afternoon. I barely saw her for days
sometimes. I would be left alone, in our apartment, which felt hollow
without her there. When I was able to come along on these trips, it was
as though I never should have came.

"Baby I'm so sorry. I do need you here." Charisma would say through a
groggy voice, as we nestled in the bed of our swank hotel room.

    I would shop all day, hoping to spend sometime with her after all of
the cameras stopped flashing, but she would be dead asleep by night fall.
Shopping and touring in a foreign country meant nothing without Charisma
by my side. When she did have a free day, in between being in one country
or another, she was still winded from the days before. I had no idea just
showing your face in some magazine or sitting on someone's talk show was
so tiring. That afternoon, when that damned Inquiry press stole a picture
of us both, Charisma was more tired than ever. She made an effort to go
to the beach with me. We were in the most beautiful part of Bermuda. The
hotel was right on the beach and it never rained, while we were there for
those five days. It was the fourth day that she was finally able to rest.
Charisma was the one to announce we hadn't been spending much time
together. So we made a basket of snacks and took to the beach. I found
myself swimming alone and walking along the shore alone, for most of the
time. Charisma said she was laying on the beach towel to tan, but I would
catch her dozing off. I would have just laid along with her, but was not
in the mood to just sit on such a beautiful beach. She would try and sit
up, however exhaustion would force her on her back again. I understood,
though disappointed Charisma wasn't fit to spend even the simplest
moments with me. The press caught this whole scene and wrote about it in
long paragraphs, in that silly Inquiry.

"Trouble in paradise for Charisma Collin.....girlfriend walks
alone....the couple stay separate in public.....Collin always appears
unhappy as girlfriend keeps distance."

    In the magazine, the pictures that were taken did look convincing.
The news wasn't printed until we arrived back to the states a day later.
The tabloid was slipped under our apartment door. We didn't notice the
mag until we were showered and then going through the mail, as we had tea
in the kitchen. Shortly after force feeding herself the bunk news,
Charisma received a stream of phone calls, from her agent to her mother
to her friends and a dozen others.

"Why won't they leave me alone?" Charisma through her phone across the
room, which slammed into a wall and went to pieces.

    I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her tense shoulders.
She leaned back, but was still high strung.

"I never wanted this. I'm totally happy with you." Charisma went on idly.

"I know. You were tired." I kissed her neck and ears softly.

    She melted against me. Charisma sighed here and there, the more I
made her skin tingle from kisses. Then she tensed and jumped away.

"Shit, we still have that damned dinner to go to tonight. Great." She
tussled her hair.

    At that point, I lost my patience. Suddenly her life was becoming too
much, as though it already hadn't been hell. It can be hard to grasp how
such things can get to a person, but they were defiantly getting to me.
Perhaps it was also sexual frustration gnawing at my nerves, on top of
her urges to elope and have children. We went from having sex multiple
times a day, to going a full week without even a make out session.

"I really don't think I can handle that. Can we not go?" I asked.

"What? No, we have to. It's the birthday of the director, whom is doing
the movie I'm in now." Charisma stated.

"Well can I not go?"

"And let me go alone?"

"Crystal and Abby and Nia are going, so you won't be alone. I just can't
do it."

    Charisma just stared at me, with a disbelieving frown. "Then the
press will really think something is wrong. Besides, you know how I get
when the reporters are up my ass. I'll die of a fuckin' anxiety attack
without you."

"Fine." I said quickly.

    With that I went on to the balcony to get some air. Life was becoming
more and more complicated. I wanted to go back home, to Chicago, and live
in a world less crazy. It had been dawning on me that I was starting to
hate being chained to someone and doing everything they had to do. Fuck
eloping, I would think, we are married. As soon as I moved to LA, I felt
trapped, but thought the feeling would pass. In the beginning it was cute
being known as Charisma Collin's girlfriend. Then I began to slowly
realize I would always be known as just that and not as anyone special. I
would have to follow her to every single event, travel with her only to
be forced to just sit back and watch her work. I could shop but what fun
was shopping alone? There was nothing exciting about walking in forgien
city by yourself, to pass the time until you could get five minutes with
the lover you came there with. I already didn't like the idea of dating
and all the baggage Charisma came with was not making my decision, to
settle down, appealing anymore. Yes, it was that very day I concluded
that I had to leave. As I stared out at the high fashion and expensive
cars below, I was mentally gathering how exactly I was going to break up
with Charisma.

    When that damned dinner party came about that night, Charisma and I
were both irritable, for separate reasons. We got ready in silence and
climbed into the stretch Hummer without a word, when it pulled up. Her
three friends were already inside, drinking the champagne and snorting
coke.

"What's the matter?" Nia asked, wiping her nose.

"Nothing. I just need a drink." Charisma replied .

"Yes! And a little Christina Agulara." Abby giggled, using the code name
for cocaine, as she passed over the mirror that had been on her lap.

    Charisma's three friends were porn stars. They reminded me of my
friends back home: fun, insane and lived to party. The only difference
was that those three were famous. I found it strange Charisma befriended
these girls, upon moving to LA three years prior. Nonetheless I liked
them regardless of their profession. Abby, Nia and Crystal tagged along
to every event Charisma was invited to. When there was an after party,
all five of us made the club crazy. Even Paris Hilton once partied with
us, after hearing the press rave about our wild antics. That night, with
all of the bullshit on the horizon, I was in no mood to party. I just
wanted to be at home, hiding away from the cruel press. I wasn't fond of
doing coke, but would take a few bumps every now and again. Charisma just
followed my lead when it came to drugs and alcohol, trusting I knew what
I was doing. That was another thing, Charisma was like the little sister
trying to do everything the older one did. I unintentionally influenced
her to start smoking cigarettes. She claimed she started because I made
it "look sexy." She also hadn't been much of a drinker, until I came
along. My tolerance is high, so me drinking like a fish made Charisma
think she had to do the same. While I would still be standing on my two
feet after seven shots, she would be hanging on to me, if not in the
bathroom brining the vodka up. When it came to drugs, I was only sampling
coke and big on marijuana. The two Charisma only did when I would do it.

    That night, in the monstrous stretch Hummer, I took in a lot more
coke than usual. Charisma did the same, though she was probably thinking
she shouldn't. I just wanted to get fucked up quick, before I had to
handle a series of repetitive questions. There were two bottles of
chilled Patron in the cooler, which were gone by the time our limo pulled
up to the event twenty minutes later. When binging coke and drinking
heavily, one never feels the alcohol until later. We were at the point
where the second bottle of tequila was starting to kick, when the first
should have knocked us on our asses. My heart was beating wildly, my legs
were shaky and my nose was becoming sore.

"Ok, no more." I said to Charisma, just as the limo was rolling up in
front of the banquet hall.

    She gave me an evil look, but halted the snorting. We were on the
brink of an overdose.

"Yeah, I agree. I don't want my jaw wobbling all over the dinner table."
Abby said.

"Girl, I don't know how you just said that sentence without realizing it
already is." stated Crystal, as she gulped on the drip seeping from her
nose to her thoart.

"We can't go in then. Not yet. Let's miss dinner. By then the place will
be drunk." said Abby.

    Charisma looked out of the window, as a suited man approached to open
her door. I noticed her jaw slowly grinding as she thought. Her door
popped open and she leaned out to tell the man we would be back.

"I spilled wine all over myself, sir. I must change. Would that be
horrible of me, if I miss dinner?" She spoke to the man in a clear voice,
only sticking her head out.

    The man assured Charisma that it would be understood, shut the door
and went to tell our driver the situation. We were driven back to the
condo and Charisma went up with Abby, to fake out the driver. By then we
had calmed down a bit and the Patron was slowly hitting our brains.

"Is something wrong with you guys?" Nia asked while Charisma and Abby
were gone.

"No. Well, I don't know. This whole tabloid thing is killing me." I
answered.

"It's all lies right? You two are fine for real? It doesn't look that
way." Crystal asked, her words coming quickly.

    Charisma and Abby jumped back into the Hummer, before I could answer.
We ignored the urges to do more lines of coke, as the driver drove us
back to the banquet. There Charisma was pounded with questions and
microphones and cameras. I stuck close behind. It took us ten minutes to
get into that damn hall because every step she took, Charisma was stopped
by some kind of reporter. It was hard to avoid them, since they were
surrounding the doors. Finally Charisma stopped playing nice and pushed
through the reporters, cursing as she went. Her publicist Erica was
standing in the threshold of the banquet hall, when we entered.

"Ms. Collin I could kill you. Do you know how many questions I've had to
answer for you?" Erica said.

"Sorry. Did the guy tell you what happened?" Charisma asked as Erica
guided us to the main room.

"Yes and I understand. Just you spilling wine all over yourself couldn't
have come at a worse time."

"Is dinner over? Please say yes." Abby asked.

"Just about, but Charisma still has some answering to do. So you four
stick to the table I put you and Ms. Collin and I have to stand toward
the front. People will be swarming to her so we'll need all the breathing
room we can get."

    While Erica and Charisma went to socializing, Abby, Crystal, Nia and
I were seated at a distant table. That was fine. It allowed us to giggle
and drink in private. The occasional nicely dressed man would walk up,
grinning about how much he liked Nia, Crystal, or Abby's last movie. Even
women snuck over to drop a word. It was funny to see even porn stars had
devoted fans. I was having so much fun and so wasted, that I forgot all
about Charisma. I should have been worried about her, but I wasn't. My
hands wandered a lot from Nia's thighs to Abby's arms. We were all too
fucked up to realize the wrong in the flirting going on amongst us. I was
playing in Nia's hair and getting close, when Charisma came up behind me.

"What the hell are you doing?" Charisma asked over my head.

    I looked up. "Nothing. How are you?" Then turned to picked up my wine
glass to take another gulp.

"I'm pretty shitty actually. Not only am I saving face on behave of our
relationship, while geeked out of my mind, but also explaining why you've
been touching my friends all night." Charisma explained.

"Oh?" I asked, not exactually taking the statement seriously.

"Yeah. Seems you've had admirers tonight. Do you know how much of a
fuckin' fool I look right now?"

"Stop trippin'. It's fine. Fuck them." I laughed.

"Fuck you."

    I paused and gave Charisma a long stare. Nia, Crystal, and Abby
tensed.

"Maybe we should go. All of us. I think we've done too much shit to be in
public." Abby spoke up, breaking the long and awkward silence.

    With that Charisma walked away briskly, obviously angry. We followed
hesitantly. None of us had ever seen Charisma act that way. She was
always smiling and easy going. She was boarding the Hummer, as the four
of us stumbled outside, tripping over the sea of paparazzi as we went. It
wasn't until we stood that all of the intoxicants really set in. When
everyone was inside and the door closed, Charisma allowed the Hummer to
go ten feet before shouting at me.

"You know, I really don't think you're taking our relationship
seriously."

"Charisma don't do this now, you're fucked up." Abby said.

"No, I got this. Coked up or not I need to get this bitch right."
Charisma stated.

"Bitch?" I sat up straight. "Don't you ever!"

"Or what?" Charisma faced me, arms stretched out.

    I spat in her face on impulse. Cocaine can escalate a mood and anger
was the immediate emotion. She smacked me and I dove on top of her,
grabbing her hair. Abby and Crystal were trying to break us up, as Nia
pulled on my legs. Charisma and I were smacking and biting each other
like animals. Abby finally managed to pull us apart, just as Charisma
landed a hard punch into my side. Nia and Abby sat on Charisma until she
calmed down. I lit a cigarette to simmer down. The next thing I remember
was wildly making out with Charisma and Nia calling us insane.

"You bitches are just fuckin' unbelievable." Crystal agreed.

    Charisma scooted me to the bedroom, when we got home. She literally
ripped off my dress, sequence flying everywhere, leaving me in my
stilettos and stockings. There she fucked me like I never had it before.
Charisma wasn't the kind that was very fond of sex toys, but that night
she strapped on our biggest dildo, which was twelve inches long and
drilled it into me, putting me into odd positions. First she was sitting
back on her heels on the bed, holding me up on her lap as I took all of
her dick. Then Charisma put me into the reverse cowboy, which turned into
doggystyle and ended with me flat on my stomach with her flat on my back,
and our legs twined together. After I drizzled the sheet with my come, we
switched roles and I fucked her harder.

    I pinned the back of her shoulders against the headboard, Charisma
wrapped her legs tight around my waist, and we held each other close. I
couldn't remember being so hot, raging with angry passion I had never
experienced before. My heart was pounding rapidly, my head was spinning
and I was loving the pressure from the dildo on my clit. Charisma was
biting and squeezing me, visibly having the greatest feelings pumped into
her.

"Oooooh. Oooooooooh. Awwwwwww oh my god! IloveyouIloveyouIlove." She
repeated against my lips, almost in tears. "Please stay with me. Please
love me like I love you. Marry me. I love you."

    Her words were coated with heavy moans. It was both turning me on and
freaking me out. We had went from physically fighting to this. I was
drunk and geeked, but knew full and well what was going on wasn't normal.
What if this happens again, I thought. What if we always beat the hell
out of each other and then have intense sex? That can't be right. It'll
become too much. We're drunk and coked up.. What if we're always drunk
and coked out, fighting like cats? My head spun these thoughts, as we
both came. Charisma arched her back and I bite down on her right nipple,
as we shook out our orgasms. She and I caught our breaths, then slowly
made our way to the balcony to smoke. I rolled a joint of bubble gum
kush, to calm our coke high. She just stared at me, in that unmistakable
loving way, as we toked away. At the same time I was mentally dwelling,
praying Charisma wouldn't bring up what she had been moaning. She had
never told me she loved me during sex. It was all too much: the fight,
our sudden make up sex and what she had been saying.

    I called Frankie that night, after Charisma fallen asleep.

"Yeah, I think it defiantly needs to end." She had responded after a long
silence.

    As Frankie and I strolled around West Hollywood, I was mentally
recapping that crazy night. My friend noticed me thinking.

"You don't have to do this. You can make it work." Frankie said, breaking
into my thinking.

"I know but-"

"I'll help you. Hell, right now I can say the two of you shouldn't do
coke at all and try not to drink when you're in a bad mood."

    I quietly absorbed this information for a moment. It was a simple,
yet smart idea. Then again I knew there could be slip-ups.

"Have you honestly asked yourself if you love her?" Frankie went on.

"Well I was never sure in the first place. Thought I was just infatuated
or something."

"Does she make you feel good?"

"Well she treats me like I'm God, so yes."

"Have you ever watched her sleep?"

"Yeah, but thought it was weird."

"No bitch, that's love."

    I back tracked on all the times I stayed up at night, just to glare
at the rise and fall of her chest as she rested peacefully. Then I
remembered how warm I felt, how I mentally thanked God for her, how I
loved the way she felt in my arms and how kissing her sent explosions of
desire through my every nerve. I never put these things in mind, when
dwelling on breaking up. It was then, as I walked with Frankie, that I
must be in love. A small pain of regret stung my stomach, for pushing her
away, in the week prior to that day. How could I ever leave, when
Charisma put stars in my eyes? Right then and there I knew I had been
silly for ever thinking she wasn't for me anymore. I suddenly wanted to
cry, as though the deed of ending our relationship had already been done.
The only thing I wanted, as I stopped walking, was to embrace Charisma
and never let her go.

"What's wrong?" Frankie asked, also stopping her stride.

"I just had this sudden.. I don't know, realization. I am fuckin' in
love." I stated, more to myself.

"I'm not surprised. You are Ms. Spontaneous after all." Frankie chuckled.
"Now we just have to tell the girls back home you're staying."

"Sorry that you came all the way down here, just for me to change my mind
two seconds later."

"Whatever. I get to enjoy L.A. still and got to see you."

    I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter, as though I was falling
in love all over again. I was happy for having such great friends and
thankful I decided to stay. I almost did cartwheels done the street, but
just put a girlish skip in my step. As Frankie suggested we go into
Movado, to look for a watch for her father, I pulled out my phone to call
Charisma. My finger was moving to the send button, then my phone lit up
and chirped. Charisma was calling.

"Hey Sweetie." I grinned from ear to ear.

"Ashley, fuck you. Just fuck you!" Charisma spat.

    I paused and looked at Frankie. "What?"

"You don't love me anymore. You can't stand me. You don't kiss me anymore
or touch me. So I'll do you a favor. It's over. Surprised you haven't
done it already." She was crying through the last sentence.

"Huh?" I was just too shocked to think straight.

"Don't act as though you don't hate me. I'm not coming home until you
pack up and leave. I can't see you. I want you gone."

    Then came the dial tone. By my stale expression, Frankie knew
something was not right.

    To be continued.......