Date: Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:21:43 -0800 (PST) From: Jane Doe <malkuth_lies@yahoo.com> Subject: another night wasted part 9 Written back in September of '07, just recently found again. Thanks to the reader who reminded me why I posted this story to begin with... for others to enjoy. Who knows, I might even pick up the proverbial pen again. Take care, all. Oh yeah, and don't read this if it's illegal wherever you happen to be. If you think it's immoral or deviant or unconscionable, well, if that's your thing... you know where ya are and what you're looking at. ~Jane The red is so deep, so livid. It's like a horrid mockery of the normally subtle hues of Lana's hair. But it doesn't stop at her hair, it streaks down over her face, her skin deathly white against those red gashes. She looks so cold. The silence reigns supreme, I try to scream but no sound mars this horrible scene. She's dead, I know it. I sob and cry and clutch her to me, shouting for help, cursing whatever god brought her so low... and then... I kiss her. My lips meld with hers. She's so cold. And like in a fairytale, I feel her stir... --------------------------------------------------------------------- I wake up, shivering, even under the warm covers. Shivering, even though Lana is curled in against me, breath slow and steady in sleep. I lay there for quite some time, listening to her breath, feeling her presence, the warmth of her against me. Not cold and bloody and dead, but wonderfully alive... and mine. Slowly I draw myself up, careful to leave her undisturbed, and peer at the clock. 4 am. Or close enough. I guess bad dreams can strike even the happiest of sleepers. With the phantoms of sleep leaving my head I carefully climb out of bed, to peer out the window at the darkened street. Time for a smoke I think; it's been too long since I've had a night to think. Perhaps it's not such a bad thing, waking like this. I had almost forgotten the quiet wonderment of the world at night, when everyone else sleeps. The shadows the moon throws when her mood is right, and the clouds allow it, as much silence as a place full of electric appliances and water heaters and furnaces always running, keeping the dreamers safe and comfortable in their beds. The sky so vast one only imagine the other worlds out there, the galaxies spinning in the darkness, alone amongst so many of their own kind. I wonder if they ever collide? Do stars and planets by the millions, or billions even, go crashing into one another, destroying what once was to create something new? And do they occasionally come together more peacefully, timeless spinnings in tune with one another, slowly melding over eons? Looking at Lana's slumbering form, now half rolled onto her back, even in the grips of her dreams seeking me as much as I ever sought her, I think they just might come together like that... once in a great while. Yes, perhaps it's not really so bad, being a phantom myself once in a while. Clinging to the lines between sleeping and waking, night and day. Being a ghost, seeing but unseen, watching over the world so different under the night sky than it is under the sun. Man, waking up from a dream like that makes me weird. I slowly shake my head as I haul open the window, but quietly... to awaken that sleeping beauty now would seem almost criminal. Pulling on my hoodie and climbing out onto the roof I fish a cigarette out of my pack and light it, taking a long drag and feeling the smoke clear away the last of the cobwebs. Time to think. Dad always says people need their quiet time, and on that issue I won't argue with him. What a weird day, no wonder I had weird dreams. Lucy showing up to get Lana out and back on the dating scene, Lana... well... telling her I guess. The afternoon in the back corner of a smoky coffee shop, talking in hushed voices, listening to Lana share her side of the story... then having to divulge my own. I didn't do it for Lucy of course... I mean, it was nice having an outsider there, someone other than Lana and myself really, just being able to tell someone... to tell another human being "I'm in love with my big sister." and have them... well... exalt in it, in her own weird way. Lu's a strange one, to be sure, but it was wonderful to have someone as excited about it as we are sit and listen. But mostly I did it for Lana. We hadn't really talked about it, not entirely. Bits and pieces here and there, but we never sat down and told one another how we decided that not only were the feelings there, but they were worth acting on. I could feel her eyes on me the entire time I spoke, telling all, every last little thing I could remember, everything that made me fall in love with her, the way people say siblings never should. I don't even remember most of what I said now, it was just a torrent of words, images, feelings, making them understand these things. And when I was done, Lana just hugged me. She pulled me close and held me for quite a while, kissing my hair and nuzzling my head as we each got a third degree interrogation from Lu. She should work for the feds or something. No detail left unscrutinized, no casual turn of phrase or ambiguity left without clarification. Lana finally broke down laughing and threatened to never speak of it again unless she stopped being so anal about everything. It makes me think Lu would be dangerous with a journalism degree as well. The hunger in her dark eyes, the need to know, t was kind of sexy to be honest. I'd never seen her as having much of a brain before, but I guess it just goes to show that in a lot of ways, my big sis is a much better judge of character than I am. Not that I ever doubted it. As I sit and think it over I watch the moon slowly set, sliding her way down the vault of the sky, slipping into the depths of some younger night, and only the stars are left burning, holding the watch until the gray shadows assert themselves, as if to prepare the world for the coming of the sun. And as that great orb begins it's stately ascent I slip back inside, away from it's glare and pompous ways. I can't help but think of the sun like that, some vast prima donna, never allowing any other to share it's stage. And my eyes slip back to the form laying supine on the bed, I can't help but smile to see her gazing back at me. --------------------------------------------------------------- It took me a moment to figure out what was wrong, to realize that I'm alone in bed. Rolling onto my back I can see the first light of dawn leaking in, and I can't help but wonder how the hell she can wake up so early on a sunday, but be such a pain during the week. Seeing her come slipping back in through the window, wearing only her hoodie over her t-shirt and panties my irritation fades. Watching her stare back out the window with that thoughtful look on her face, the calm look of contemplation broken by her habit of chewing lightly on her lower lip, making her appear just a touch younger than she would like to be considered. Then those lovely eyes are drawn over to me, and with the strange light of these wee hours on one side of her face and the other side in shadow she looks to me like a goddess of the dawn, calling me from the slumber that had nearly consumed me since mom died. Returning her glorious smile I reach out a hand to her, beckoning her over to the bed, to her place beside me. Pulling her down I kiss those soft lips, lightly at first, playing my tongue along her lips briefly. As they part, allowing me entrance I plunge in, twining my tongue with hers, our lips and mouths dancing in a wordless communication of desire, of need. My hands slide up into her hair, feeling it's silky softness and I drink in the taste and smell of her, lightly smoky, definitely her. It's intoxicating, knowing her, feeling her like this. Her body is slightly chill but warming quickly against my own, her flesh responding to the heat rising from the depths of my body and washing through my entire being, heartbeats quickening as one. Slowly dragging down the zipper of her jacket and twining my legs with hers I have to stifle the urge to just strip her as quickly as possible, to feel her against me in all ways, all places, I fight the urge because I want to savor everything, each moment, each touch, breath and kiss. Her fingertips leave trails of fire on my skin, heat that causes my nipples and groin, all of my most sensitive places, to ache with longing. This is how it should be. This is how I've always wanted it to be. Maybe not for everyone, but for me. I can only hope she feels the same. In my heart, I know she does. Pushing the jacket off her shoulders I shift slightly to move my mouth down along her neck and over the newly exposed skin as she lets out light gasps and moans, her hands traveling over my sides and back, across my stomach, anywhere they can reach. Sliding and arm under her to lift her, to rid her of her hoodie, to pull her clingy, soft cotton tee up to expose her flat, smooth stomach I cannot resist the allure of her navel, dipping down as I ease her back to nibble it, letting my tongue circle and dip into its depths in pantomime of a much more intimate act. Her fingers slide through my hair, gripping now and again as I shift on top of her, slowly making my way up over her stomach and ribs, pushing her shirt up higher to expose the lovely, perfect mounds of her breasts. Licking and biting at the soft undersides of them, each in turn, working my way up to first delicately and then more roughly suckle and nip at the now rock-hard buds of her nipples, eliciting growing grunts and moans as well as soft gasps. Her soft cries are as music to my ears, spurring me on as my hands trail up her thighs, feeling the taut muscles sliding beneath her skin. Pulling back, I kneel between her thighs, looking down at her despite her soft groan of protest, fixing her in my memory, keeping this moment in the golden light of dawn, making it mine and hers. Then I slide my arms under her knees, reaching up and hooking her panties, drawing them down as she lifts her hips to aid me. She smiles as I hold them for a moment, raising them to smell the wet spot that was growing on them, to take in the scent of her arousal... I don't think I've ever smelled anything so wonderful, such a heady, musky, slightly tangy scent. I can see the gorgeous glistening between her thighs as she sits up, wrapping me in her arms and pulling my own night shirt up and off, over my head, briefly twisting it as it comes up, locking my arms up and over my head and covering my eyes so all I can see is the light filtering through the fabric... I can feel her breath only a moment before her mouth locks over one of my own nipples, sucking greedily, sending a delicious chill down my spine , restrained, blind and at her mercy. It's all I can do to stifle a cry as I feel her hand slide down my own panties, her fingers sliding over my mound and dipping into my own wetness, making my legs feel weak as I shudder at the minor explosion of pleasure in the back of my brain. Her grip on the shirt released, her newly free hand begins roaming again and I throw off the shirt, wrapping her in my arms I pull her up to me, to meet her mouth with my own, locking our mouths together in desperate desire. Her fingers sliding the length of my slit, passing over my hardened clit and dipping lightly inside I utter a soft cry, one of my hands seeking out her wetness as well. I never imagined it like this, so soft, incredibly slick and warm and welcoming, the nub of her little pearl so obvious and begging for ministrations and her heated depths seemingly sucking my fingers in. She lets out a groan of dismay and surprise as I push her away, knowing suddenly what it is I want. Shifting with a quickness I didn't know I had I lay myself beside her, my cheek on her thigh as I pull her hip up, nearly forcing her onto her side and kissing her between her thighs, pushing those lips wide and letting my tongue plumb her depths. I hear her cry out and nearly sob with the sudden shock of it, and then I feel her grip my ass and begin a similarly fevered assault. Fingers replacing my tongue inside her, my jaw and lips quivering as near constant moans escape them I feel driven by this rush, this heat and near insanity to devour her, drink in all that I can and leave none to waste. Our moans and cried build in unison, mirroring one another's pace and frenzied energy, until everything in an instant seems to go pure white, an explosion, a convulsion of something so pure, so primal all thought ceases, and then fades to black... --------------------------------------------------------------- Our shuddering orgasms hit at nearly the same instant, mine lagging half a second, but as I heard and felt her come, the swift, hard undulations inside her, the near squirt of fluid streaming into my mouth, her gutteral cry of unloosed pleasure, I couldn't even think of holding back another instant. To feel that shuddering, mind numbing ecstasy, and know that she brought it on, this is heaven. It's a labor to catch my breath, to form coherent thoughts, to do anything other than drift in the afterglow... But after a moment I realize she's not moving. Panic stabs deep into my psyche as I untangle myself from her legs and gather her to me, holding her, calling to her but she's as limp and lifeless as that horrible morning. And as her eyes slowly open and she smiles up at me, the most beautiful, crazy smile I've ever seen, I can't help but think, it is just like that morning. Over reacting, as always. Leaning down to kiss her deeply, I laugh as soon as our lips part. "Jen?" She's still smiling as she gazes dreamily up at me. "Yeah, Lana?" What can I do but smile back? The panic gone I feel giddy and higher than I ever have been before. "I love you." "I love you too... crazy woman." Her smile widens at that, and she snuggles happily in against me again. "Okay... now let's get some more sleep."