Date: Sat, 1 Dec 2007 16:25:46 -0800 (PST)
From: AMANDA PLOGGER <love4fun4life@yahoo.com>
Subject: upside-umop-insideout-11

Okay This story contains sexual acts between two females if this offends
you then don't read it. If you are not 18 or whatever the age maybe where
your from, don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between
two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not
real. Any similarities are just that.

I still have many, many chapters to go. Let me know what you think so
far. Good or bad. Thank you so much to everyone who has written me giving
me much needed encouragement to keep writing. I have made many friends
and hope to find even more. It is amazing who you meet on here. *smiles*
I love to write so check back in soon and you are sure to find more.

As always, enjoy.


Amanda




                                    Part 11


The Past

Emily may not have had as many friends as her sister but the ones she had
she wouldn't trade for the world. She was glad that she considered her
sister to be one, even after all that had happened.

"Thank you, Sarah." Emily said quietly, looking back over at Alexis.

"You're my sister. I would do anything for you." Sarah said squeezing
her sister's shoulders.

"How about that talk now?" Emily said with a weak smile.

"When ever you are ready."

"I don't know if I will ever be ready. So take advantage of the
situation and lets get some tea and talk."

"You know^Å you shouldn't be drinking tea while pregnant."

"Don't you ever take a day off of work Dr. Madera?" Emily laughed as
they walked into her kitchen. "Is it okay if I drink decaf chamomile tea
ma'am?"

"Shut up." Sarah laughed. "Don't ever call me ma'am again. I may be
older than you but I can still kick you ass."

Emily pulled out her tea pot and china cups and set about making them
tea.

"You still have gram's tea set?" Sarah asked astonished.

"No, I threw it away. I picked up this antique Victorian set at a garage
sale."

"Smart ass. I still can't believe it." Sarah said leaning on the
island in the center of the kitchen, watching her sister work.

"What that I have grandma's tea set, that I use it, or that I am a
lesbian and pregnant?" Emily said. She couldn't help but laugh at the
stunned look on her sister's face.

"Sorry, you usually aren't the outspoken one." Her sister sputtered.

"I think it's about time that changes, don't you?"

"Just don't say something like that while I'm eating unless you want
food spit all over the place." Sarah laughed. "And for the record, I
was talking about you using gram's tea set. I would be too afraid to.
Not to say that I'm having easy time believing the rest of it either."

"That is the reason she gave it to me and not you. She knew you would
never use it like it should be used. I pull it out every week when mom
comes over. I wonder^Å"

"If that will continue?" Sarah asked reading her sister's thoughts.
"Emily, I wouldn't count on it. Not for a while." Sarah said as
soothingly as possible.

"I figured as much. You say that like you know something I don't
though." Emily said looking up at her sister.

"I do. Let's just leave it at that for now." Sarah smiled at her
sister. "I'm dying to know more about this whole thing. You said that
you've fought these feelings since before college. I want to know more.
How long? Did you have a crush on any of our friends? Spill." Sarah said
enthusiastically as she sat down as the table.

Emily couldn't help but share in her sister's excitement. She had
wanted to talk to her about everything for years now and now she was
finally having the chance. It meant the world to her that her sister was
actually interested. Emily carefully carried the tray, full of antique
china, a plate of biscuits  and jam, to the table.

"You know that Collin will be back in a bit with food, right?"

"Leave me be, I'm pregnant and hungry. Plus, gram always said tea
wasn't tea with out biscuits..."

"^Åand good conversation with a good friend."  Sarah said with a laugh.
"She was right too." She said taking a biscuit. "Now quit stalling and
spill."

Emily took a drink of her all too hot tea and gasp. "Okay. Well were to
begin? 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said, very gravely, " Emily
laughed, using her mock king voice, "'and go on till you come to the
end: then stop.' Great time to be quoting Lewis Caroll."

Sarah looked at her sister, trying not to laugh. "What?" Emily asked
puzzled. Her impression wasn't that bad. Sarah started hysterically
laughing. "What?!?" Emily asked impatiently, wanting to be let in on
what ever this joke was.

"You. You and Alexis. You two were made for each other. Too damn cute."

"Would you please tell me what the hell you are talking about?" Emily
said, becoming more than a little annoyed at her sisters antics.

"Yes, yes. I'm sorry." She said sobering a little. "It's just that^Å
well you and Alexis used the exact same quote in the very same night. Of
course neither of you knew that the other one was going to say it. You
were passed out upstairs earlier when she said the king thing it and now
you are using it. And it's just too cute. You two fit."

Emily smiled. "Well, I am glad to hear that you approve."

Sarah smiled and nodded. "I do. Emily, I've never seen you so happy.
Even with all that's gone on, you look tired, but you also look happy.
And that's a good thing. As long as you are happy that is all that
matters. That and my niece and nephew.  Speaking of which, which do you
think this one is going to be?" Sarah asked pointing at her sister's
belly.

Emily instinctively wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I don't know.
I think it might be a girl but I could be wrong. A little soon to tell I
think"

"I can't wait till you get big again. You make such a cute pregnant
woman. Not all girls can pull that look off but you do every time."

"Yeah well enjoy it while you can cause this will be the last one for
me."

"How did Alexis take it when you told her? I'm assuming well."

Emily's face dropped as she thought of Alexis's first reaction to the
news. "I think I really hurt her when I first told her. We'd been
together two months the night I found out. And I guess I don't really
blame her for thinking that^Å She's never been around anyone who is
pregnant before so she really wouldn't know that most women don't have
the signs at first. But it hurt. She pulled away from me and of course, I
started crying. I think that hit her hard, seeing me cry." Emily started
to smile a little bit. "And then I woke up in the morning and I could
have swore someone slipped Lexie some happy pills while we were sleeping.
She was like bouncing off the walls she was so happy. Like a total 360."

"Why do you think that is?" Sarah asked.

"She never thought that she'd have kids. She loves Brant and Piper. You
should see the three of them together. It's so cute. She told me she
thought bout it while I had been sleeping and she couldn't find a down
side to having a child with me. Even if it isn't hers by blood she wants
to help raise him. She missed all the baby years with the other two. They
are all independent and head strong already."

"Speaking of which, how are you going to handle all of this with the
kids? What are you planning on telling them?"

"About the baby or Alexis? They call her Aunt Lexie and I think that is
fine for now. When they are old enough we will explain everything to them
but until then, she is my best friend who stays here to help me out with
them and bills and such. Not that I think they will be asking any time
soon. As for the new baby, we still haven't talked to the kids about him
yet.  I guess we will tell them that they have a new sister or brother
coming."

"Brother." Sarah said smiling.

"Brother?"

"You keep  referring to the baby in the male form. `He' `him'
You've done it a few times now. You don't even realize it. You've done
it with the other two kids the same way. You always were right. You're
subconscious must be trying to tell you something. I will bet you ten to
one that that baby is a boy."

Emily looked at her stomach and smiled. Even if it was from horrible
circumstances, she would love this baby with all her heart. "Amber
Wesson."

"Huh?" Sarah asked. "Why would you name a kid that?"

Emily laughed and looked up at her sister. "You asked who I had a crush
on in school. There were many but the main one was the high school
softball couch. The one who taught eighth grade Math. Oh fuck was she
hot." Emily said with a laugh.

"I remember her. She was very athletic. Had played pro till she messed
up her hair. Dark brown hair, kinky curly, but beautiful in that way."

"Oh god yeah, I had many dreams with her in them." Emily blushed. "I
kissed her."

"You did WHAT?!?!" Sarah asked choking on her tea.

"I was young and stupid. I was working with her after class. Making up
work from one of the many days I skipped."

"Yeah I remember those."

"Yeah, well, shut up. I said that I was young and stupid. Anyway, she
was leaning really close to me, helping me go over a problem. She had her
chair real close to my desk and had her leg propped up with ice on her
knee. So in order for her to help me out, she had to lean into me a bit.
I had had a crush on her from the first day in class. She looked up at
me, I think waiting on me to answer something she had asked me, and I
couldn't stop my self. I kissed her. I think I caught her off guard
because before she was able to lean back and stop me, she parted her
lips. I got a full on kiss from her."

"Oh god. I can't believe you never told me that before."

"I can't believe I am telling you now. That was one of the most
embarrassing days of my life."

"Why? What happened after that?"

"Nothing. She was very understanding about the whole thing. She even
went as far as to apologize for kissing me back."

"So tell, was it good?"

"I've only kissed one person who kissed better than she did and she's
asleep upstairs. Every kiss after that one was a utterly complete
disappointment." Emily said with a laugh, then sobered up and continued.
"That kiss left me even more confused. Mrs. Wesson became my sort of
confidant. She was the only person who knew about me. Even after she left
the school, we kept in contact for a bit. Wonder what ever happened to
her."

"Why do you say that kiss left you more confused?"

"We had always been taught how wrong it was. Even with Bobby being gay,
it was still drilled into us how wrong it was. You know that. That and
every time that I tried I was shut down. The two times I had tried
kissing a girl I was told how wrong it was, how it wasn't something that
was done. Every where I turned I was being told how wrong it was. So I
knew that there had to be something wrong with me. I couldn't tell you
guys. You and Bobby where my best friends and I couldn't tell you
because I was afraid of how you would look at me. So I did what I thought
I had to. I found someone who made me laugh and thought that it would be
enough to make a life out of. I was wrong. God, was I so terribly
wrong."

"Emily, why? Why didn't you ever say anything. I knew for years that
you weren't happy but I never thought that it was anything like this.
You've been carrying this around for years and I'm your sister I should
have known, I should have seen it. How could I be so blind?" Sarah asked
more to herself than to her sister. "I've been out of school for years
now. I'm a trainer professional. I should have seen it. But I didn't.
I'm sorry. I should have been the person to be there for you and I
wasn't." Sarah looked down at her cup of tea, that had long since went
cold.

"There is nothing to be forgiven, Sarah. I had lied to myself for so
long that even I began to believe it. There was no way that you could
have know." Emily said reaching over to take her sisters hand.

"What was is that made you decide to leave the lie behind?" Sarah asked
looking up at her.

"Her." Emily said with a smile. "I was blown away by her. Every thing
about her. Her beauty was the thing that first perked my interest, but it
was everything. The way she approached me that first day, the easiness I
felt when talking to her, the smile that not only crossed her face but
filled her eyes. Oh god Sarah, I tried not to fall for her. I did." She
felt Sarah squeeze her hand.

"Why sweetie? If you were obviously so into her, why try fighting it?"

"Cause I was married^Å hell I still am married. I was still afraid of
what all would be said and how you guys would react. I knew it'd be bad,
but never like this^Å" Emily's voice trailed off as her eyes filled
with tears again.

"What are you feeling right now?" Sarah asked soothingly.

"I don't need you to be my head shrink right now, I just need you to be
my sister." Emily said taking a deep breath. "Tell me."

"I will tell you anything I can, sweetie. What is it?"

"Tell me what they said when you walked out of the bathroom tonight."
Emily said, staring into her sister's eyes.

Sarah released Emily's hand and looked away from her gaze. "I will tell
you anything you want^Å anything but that."

"I'd like to know too, hon." Collin said, making both the women at the
table jump out of their skin. "Sorry." He added with a chuckle.
"Didn't mean to scare you. I come bearing food." He said placing bags
on the island, the aroma of hot fresh Chinese food enveloping them. After
filling their plates, the three of them settled around the table and
began to dive in. It had been hours since they'd abruptly left their
parents house half fed and it showed.

"Now, my love, back to the conversation the two of you started when I
walked in." Collin said, wiping his mouth with his napkin, he leaned
back.

"There was no conversation, not then, not now. Collin drop it." Sarah
said forcefully. Collin threw his hands up in defeat.

"They told you if you sided with me that you weren't welcome in their
house either, didn't they?" Emily said looking over at her sister. She
could see the pain in her eyes before but the look that she gave Emily
with that statement confirmed it.

"They didn't say anything." Sarah said, pushing the last bits of rice
and sesame seed chicken around her plate.

"Do not lie to me Sarah. We've always been honest with each other."
Emily said, glaring at her sister.

"No. I have always been honest. You have been living a lie your entire
life." Sarah snapped. "Oh god, Em. I'm sorry." Sarah said dropping
her fork on her plate as she looked in her sisters pained eyes. "It just
came out. Forgive me?"

Emily sighed. Sarah was right.


Just want to say hi to all those who have stuck in with me thus far.
Thank you for all the encouragement and *smiles* I can always use more.
Life will be crazy here the next few months but I will try my hardest to
get more out to you all soon.
Thanks to all those who have wrote me and became the friends I now have.
You all know who you are. *smiles and waves*
Until next time,
Amanda

"You'll never know what is out there if you never step out your front
door."