Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2008 11:28:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: AMANDA PLOGGER <love4fun4life@yahoo.com>
Subject: upside-umop-insideout-24

First and fore most this is a love story. It is a story that does contain
sexual acts between two females. If this offends you then don't read it. If
you are not 18, or whatever the age maybe where you're from, then please
don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies,
go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any
similarities are just that.

I just want to thank everyone who has stayed with the story this far. I
would also like to thank those who have written me telling me how much they
have enjoyed it. You all are the reason I continue to write. For those who
haven't written yet. Please do so. I could always use that much more
encouragement and I love talking to new people. I have met some interesting
people along the way and hope to talk to many more.

 As always, enjoy.

  Amanda

  upside_umop_insideout


  Chapter 24
        Truth and Pain

"Something is wrong." Sarah said as she kneeled by her sister's seat
shortly after they landed. Emily could tell by the look of fear in her eyes
that something was definitely wrong.

"What's going on?" She said leaning forward, reaching out her hand to get
Alexis' attention.

"I just turned on my phone and I had a voice mail from both mom and
Collin. Collin is meeting us at the airport with a passenger van. He is
having one of his workers pick up our luggage. We are just supposed to get
off and find Collin."

"Did they say what's happened or what going on?" Sarah shook her
head. "Alright, well, let's get the kids and get going."

"What's going on?" Piper asked as they made their way off of the plane.

"I don't really know." Alexis answered honestly.

"But something is going on?" Piper looked at her step-mom as she readjusted
the strap to her bag.

"Piper, I don't know much more than you. Sarah got a voice mail that
something has happened and Collin is meeting us here and not to worry about
our bags that someone would get them for us."

"Piper, can you give me a hand with AJ and Rae?" Sarah called from behind
them.

"Thanks mom. I gotta go help out Aunt Sarah."    The stress that surrounded
the family could be felt by anyone passing them by. None of them had any
idea what was going on, just that something was wrong. Sarah and Piper
watched Emily and Alexis closely as they walked, while still keeping an eye
on the three children.

"You think that it's Bobby don't you?" Piper said just loud enough for the
two of them to hear.  "I can't be sure." Sarah said, still staring off in
front of them.

"But you think that it's Bobby." Piper said, this time more of a statement
than a question. Sarah looked over at her and nodded.

"I think its Bobby. He keeps getting weaker and weaker. I just hope that he
can hold on long enough to see your mom."

The seven of them walked through the terminal heading for the exit. "There
you guys are." Sarah turned to see her husband walking up to them quickly.

"What's going on?" Sarah said as soon as he got closer.

"Bobby's in the hospital. He's taken a turn for the worse. I was hoping to
have some time with Alex and Emily and the kids but I need to get you guys
there soon. We don't know how much longer he has." Sarah covered her mouth
to keep a sob from escaping. "I'll take you guys there and then take the
kids home."

"Collin, would you mind taking Sora with you. He doesn't need to see all of
this." Emily asked before stepping into his open arms.

"Of course I will. It will give me a chance to get to know my newest
nephew. It's great to see you Em. I just wish it was under better
circumstances."

"Me too." Emily said, stepping back.

"Okay, let's get you guys moving. Do you guys have your baggage claim
tickets?" He asked. One by one the women went through their bags until they
had produced at least one each. They watched as Collin turned to a man
standing a few feet behind him and Collin give him a list of instructions
and then they were off.

Alexis looked over at her love and couldn't help but worry. While she was
still beautiful in every way, Emily's age was beginning to show. The lines
around her eyes were a little more defined, the lack of sleep showed
underneath her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Alexis whispered as she leaned over and wrapped her arm
around

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. A few days ago I thought that
it was the best to not try to find my family. A few days ago I thought that
I would never forgive my sister much less my brother. And now, here we are,
on the way to the hospital, with my sister and my niece and nephew that I
didn't even know I had. Here we are on the way to see my brother, who I
just found out is dying. I don't even know how I am supposed to feel right
now."

Alexis pulled her love into her arms. She knew that she didn't have the
words to comfort her. It killed Alexis inside because she knew that there
was nothing she could do to save Emily from the hurt that was coming. She
hated not being able to do anything for her.

Before either of them knew it they were in front of the hospital. "Are you
ready?" Sarah asked looking back at them from the front seat.

"No." Emily answered honestly. "But there is no time to waste." She replied
with a long sigh.

"Call me when you guys are done." Collin said to his wife. She nodded and
gave him a kiss before all the women got out of the van.

"Sora, you are going to go with Uncle Collin and your cousins. You listen
to him and if he needs help with the kids you help, ok?"  "I will mom."
Sora promised, given her a kiss as she leaned into the van.

Alexis, Emily, Piper, and Sarah walked into the hospital quietly. They
walked up to the information desk to find out what room their brother was
in.

"Robert Thompson is currently in ICU on the third floor. I am sorry but
only two of you can go up at a time. The rest of you will have to wait in
the waiting room on the second floor."

The four women looked at each other. "So who goes?" Piper finally asked,
breaking the silence, always blunt.

"I think your mothers should be the ones to go first. We both have seen him
recently. They have some unsettled business with him."

Piper shrugged and walked over the elevators and hit the up button.

"Are you sure? He's your brother. Our "unsettled business"' can wait. I
think that it's more important that you guys have your time with him. He's
in ICU for Christ sake. That can't be good."

"Alexis," Sarah reached out and put her hand on her sister's arm, "This is
the third time in a year and a half that he's been in ICU. Granted, he's
looking more and more worn down each time I see him, but even if he never
leaves this hospital again, I think you guys need to get things
straightened out before he passes. I think you both need it and I know he
does. I really think the only reason he has held on this long is to have a
chance to talk to you both."

Alexis looked over at Emily warily. "I don't know."

Emily tried to smile reassuringly over her but failed miserably. "I know
you are nervous, but I think Sarah is right. I will be right by your side."

"Hey, you guys gonna stand there and chat or go see the old dying guy?"
Piper yelled from the door of the elevator she stood holding open, laughing
when she got a gasp out of the few people sitting in the waiting room of
the ground floor, including that of her mothers and aunt.

"That was uncalled for, Piper."

"Got your attention didn't it? I had called you guys a few times but no one
was listening."

"Sorry." Alexis said as she draped her arm over Piper's shoulder.

"Yeah, me too."

The four of them got off on the second floor to check in with the
receptionist as they were instructed to do. "The doctor has just got done
making his rounds if you would like to speak to him." The young lady behind
the desk told them."

"That would be great." Sarah said with a small smile.

"If you'd like to have a seat I will let him know that you are here."

The women sat quietly as they waited until a handsome young man dressed in
blue scrubs and a white jacket walked up to them looking quiet somber.

"Are you the family of Robert Thompson?" He inquired.

"Bobby. Bobby Thompson. Yes." Emily said softly.

"I'm sorry. Bobby. I just saw him a few minutes ago and just sent him to
have some test ran. Your mother told me that you all should be arriving
shortly and made me swear to fill you in on what is going on."

"Is she with Bobby now?"

"Ma'am, she as refused to leave his side until you all arrived. Do you mind
if I pull up a chair? This might take a little while. I understand that all
except for one of you just recently found out that the patient has AIDS, am
I correct?"

"That's right. Can you please tell us how my brother is doing?"

The doctor nodded and grabbed a chair, sitting in front of them so that he
could look each one of them in the eye. "Bobby isn't doing too well. Right
now he is in the middle of fighting an uphill battle and he is losing. AIDS
has completely destroyed his immune system. There's nothing left of
it. Every germ he comes into contact with has the chance of killing
him. Right now he is in the fourth and final stages of AIDS."

Emily sob caught in her throat as Sarah grabbed her arm and Alexis
tightened her grip of Emily's hand.

"So he's dying? I mean, really dying?" Sarah said in disbelief. "I mean,
he's always bounced back. I just... I just thought it would be like
before."

"I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but I don't see Bobby
bouncing back this time."

"Stage four? What does that mean?" Piper asked, turning the doctor's
attention towards her. She noticed the lone tear that fell down her
mother's face right before she saw her take a deep breath and square her
shoulders. Once again she was amazed by her mother's silent strength.

The doctor looked at Piper and then at the other three women. "There are
four main stages of AIDS. The first stage is mainly minor infections,
caused by the lack in T-cells. It is asymptomatic and is not actually
categorized as AIDS. Most people think they have a really bad case of the
flu. The second stage, the first actual stage of AIDS, is usually
symptomized by reoccurring upper respiratory infection and minor
mucocutaneous manifestations."

"English, doc." Piper said quietly.

"Chest colds and infections in his mucous linings."

"Thanks."

"Moving on, stage three is tuberculosis, TB, and unexplained chronic
diarrhea. Now for people taking HAART treatment for HIV and AIDS chronic
diarrhea could also be attributed to side effect from his HAART therapy."
The doctor hesitated and looked over at Piper. Anticipating her next
question he clarified. "Sorry HAART stands for highly active antiretroviral
therapy. It's basically a combination or cocktail of three or four
different drugs, each doing their part to make sure that Bobby's immune
system stays as healthy as it can. Unfortunately, HAART can have some
pretty bad side effects too."

Sarah stopped him. "Being a doctor, I understand side effects but usually
the drugs I prescribe have more pros than cons. I thought that HAART was
supposed to help him. Why has he gone so down hill with the drugs that he
is taking?"

The doctor sighed and shook his head. "For most people it does work. For
some it works better than others. HAART can add years to the life of
someone living with AIDS. Sometimes its ony a few years, sometimes it's ten
or twenty. Each person reacts to the treatment differently. Your brother's
strand of AIDS unfortunately seems to be more drug-resistant than
most. We've changed his meds so many times I have pretty much lost track of
what he is on. Nothing seems to be working. Its becoming just that much
harder to treat patients living with HIV and AIDS because more and more we
are finding strands that have become resistant to the cocktails that we are
feeding our patients."

"I don't care about the drugs. What about this stage four crap? I mean, if
the... the diarrhea is from the meds then how do you know he has stage four
AIDS?" Piper asked a little more snippy than she meant to. "Sorry. It's
just all so confusing." Piper added when she got a look from her mother.

"Bobby now has toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis is a key sign of being stage
four. It's basically a big long word that means he has a parasitic disease
living in him. During the first few weeks, the infection typically causes a
mild flu-like illness or sometimes no illness at all. After most of the
infection has passed, the parasite rarely usually doesn't hurt an otherwise
healthy person, like you and I. But, people with a weakened immune system,
such as Bobby, can't fight of the infection that the parasite can
bring. For them it can make them seriously ill. Sometimes it even leads to
death. The parasite can cause encephalitis, inflammation of the brain; it
can also affect other parts of the body, like their eyes, heart and
liver. This is what is happening to Bobby. As if that were not enough, he
has pneumonia which is putting pressure on his lungs, making it hard for
him to breath."

"So there is no hope?" Emily asked disparaged.

"I wish I could give you better news. I will leave you to talk for a few
moments and check to see if he's returned yet." They all thanked the doctor
half-heartedly as he stood and left them to their own thoughts.

"I can't help it. I don't want to go in there, knowing that this could be
the last time that I see him alive." Emily sobbed as Alexis pulled her into
her arms.

"We have to, babe. We have to." Emily nodded into her partner's shoulder
and the both stood as one. With Sarah and Piper watching on Alexis walked
them towards the double doors that lead them towards the elevators. She
knew that she would have to put on a brave face for the woman that she had
spent the better part of her lifetime with, but for once, Alexis was
terrified. She didn't want to walk into that room anymore than she wanted
to have any of this happen in the first place. Part of her blamed herself
for the condition of the man laying in the hospital bed and that part of
herself she would never forgive. If she had came clean with Emily when she
had first realized that she was in love with her maybe...

"Stop that! Right now." Emily said forcefully before the elevator
arrived. Alexis hadn't even realized that her love had not only stopped
crying but now was looking at her with anger and pain in her eyes.

"Stop what, love?" Alexis asked, honestly confused as to what she was
doing.

"You stop blaming yourself. I can feel it radiating from you, the guilt,
the anger, the self pity. I thought that we had gotten past all of that,
years ago." Emily quietly fumed as the doors once again shut and they still
stood in the same place. Alexis looked down at the floor, knowing she had
been caught.

"I thought we had to, but knowing what we do now? How can I ever forgive
myself? It was bad enough that you lost your family because of me, but to
know that I was what lead to your brother going out and doing the things he
did..."

"Enough!" Emily practically shouted, bringing more than a few heads up to
look at them. She didn't care. "I don't want to hear anymore. Are you God?
Are you the one that says what every action and reaction is? Are you the
one that decides who lives and who dies? No! So there for no matter what
you may have done in the past, you are not the one that controls what
happens in the here and now. Yes, every action has a reaction. No, you
can't control a damn one of them. So stop. Stop blaming your self. Stop
feeling guilty. This is not your not fault." Emily blustered. "Damn it! Not
your fault! You know what I meant." She wanted to hang onto her anger at
her mistake but at the sight of Alex's mouth turning up into a smile she
knew she was done for and smiled back.

"You always could make me smile. Even in the worse times, you could make me
smile."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The two women took a deep breath as the elevator dinged its arrival once
again. As they turned to wait for the doors to open, Emily gasped.

"I... I can't deal with you right now." Emily said and stepped around the
woman that now stood frozen in the doorway of the elevator.

"Mrs. Thompson." Alexis nodded to the stunned woman.

"Alexis." The woman nodded back as she stepped out of the elevator. "Take
care of her for me." She said softly as she walked past her.

"I always have." Alexis replied, stepping into the elevator she turned to
look at the face of the woman she had only met once. Looking at the sorrow
that filled her eyes, Alexis found it hard to hang onto the hatred she had
once had for the woman that refused to stand up to her husband on their
daughters behalf. Instead, all she felt was pain from the years that they
had missed together.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked as the elevator lurched upward.

"I should be asking you that." Alex looked over at her Emily and sighed
before pulling her into her arms.

"How are we going to get through this?" Emily asked as she clutched Alexis'
shirt front and hang on for dear life until the elevator came to a stop. As
the doors opened they over come by the smell of antiseptic clean.

Emily's feet seemed to be weighted down as she made her way down the
hall. Even though she knew that her love was by her side, Emily felt more
alone than she ever had. Unconciously, she reached out and squeezed Alex's
hand.

"I'm still here love."

Emily looked over at her and nodded silently, her eyes betraying all of her
fears. "Why don't we go find out what room he is in?" Alexis asked, her
voice soothing and calm. Again, Emily nodded.

The two women stopped in front of an attractive older woman sitting behind
a glass walled desk. "How are ya'll doing today?" The woman asked in a
distinct southern drawl.

"I wish I could say that we've been better. We are looking for Robert
Thompson's room."

The woman nodded as she recognized his name. "Are you family?"

"Yes, ma'am. Bobby is our brother." Emily said softly.

"Forgive me, but it is required that I ask. If you give me a moment, I need
to escort you back to the room. You will have to wash up and put on a gown
and mask. Your brother is quite sick as it is but any little infection that
is brought in, even if you feel well enough, could be detrimental for him."

Emily looked over at Alexis, her eyes wide with fear.

"It will be okay. We will get through this." Alexis promise was only loud
enough for the two of them to hear. They watched as the older lady moved
around the little office area gracefully, her scrubs swooshing with her
every move.

"Sorry about the wait. Always seems like there is enough paperwork to drown
an old woman like me." The woman continued to chat to herself as they
walked down the hallway. Emily felt like she was going to be sick and pass
out and jump through her skin all at the same time. The farther down the
hall they got the worse the feeling got until it felt like her stomach had
made a permanent residence in her throat.

"You can do this." Alexis reassured her as the nurse went over how they
were to scrub up before they entered the room.

Emily looked at the love that flowed from Alexis' eyes and felt her self
grow stronger. Emily took a deep breath, holding it until she felt here
heart rate begin to descend before she exhaled and took another breath. She
looked down at her soapy hands and barely remembered how they had gotten
that way. Emily finished washing her hands, squared her shoulders as she
stood and put the biggest smile she could on here face.

"Are we all set then?" Emily looked at Alexis and they both nodded. "Okay,
just remember what I have told you." The nurse said, holding robes for them
to step into. "If it seems like your brother needs to rest, please let
him. God knows that he could probably use all the rest he can get right
now. His body has put up such a fight. He should be awake right now. He
asked to skip this afternoon's medicine rounds, so he might be in a little
bit of pain." Emily wondered when this woman would shut up and get out of
their way. As much as she was dreading seeing her brother she also was
tired of hearing the nurse drone on.

"May we please see our brother now?" Alex asked, reading Emily's thoughts.

"Yes, of course. If you need anything there is a call button on his
bed. Pleases keep your visit to under thirty minutes."

The two women nodded and opened the door into Bobby's room. The room was
small, yet comfortable. A chair sat on either side of a bed that looked
rather large for the form that filled it. A skinny man, with thinning hair,
dark circles under his eyes, and tubs running ever which way from his body
sat there looking up at them expectantly.

"Emily. Alexis. Please, come in." Bobby's voice was barely over a whisper
as he beckoned them toward him. They looked at each other, both of their
faces covered with mask and their bodies concealed by gowns. Neither said a
word, but none was needed. Each woman turned towards the man that had
caused so much heart ache, so much pain and smiled.

"Bobby, how are you?" Emily asked, her voice full of warmth and affection
as she neared his bed. Alexis flanked her before rounding to the other side
of the bed.

"Not to well, otherwise I wouldn't be here." Bobby said in a sad joke. His
chuckle turned into a bought of deep hard coughs that took him a few
minutes to recover from. Both women stood there unsure of what to do to
help. "Sorry, it keeps getting harder and harder to breath. Some days are
better than others. Today doesn't look like a good day, tomorrow doesn't
look  like it's going to be much better." He said with a weak smile.

"I am glad to see that you still have a sense of humor." Alexis said.

"I have to find something to keep me going. They said my body should have
given out ages ago. How are you Alexis? I'm glad that you came. You have to
no reason to be here other than the love you have for my sister. I have
caused you so much pain."

Alexis looked over at Emily and smiled. "After all of these years and
everything that we have been through together, I love her more now then I
did back then."

"I felt so bad, I still feel horrible, for what I put you both through. I
knew that night, when you came in to rescue her just how much she really
meant to you. I couldn't think of anyway I could fix it, anyway to undo
what I had done."

Alexis reached out and took Bobby's hand in her own. It felt so light, his
skin so thin Alexis feared that if she rubbed her thumb against it too hard
that it would tear. She could feel every bone and tendon or so it
seemed. She watched his hand in her own and felt a tear roll down her face.

"There is enough blame to go around, Bobby. We both made mistakes. I... I'm
sorry. I hate that you're lying in this bed. That I played a part in it."

"No!" Bobby said with such force that it brought both Emily and Alexis'
eyes to his own. For as small and frail as he had become, there was still
more spirit in him than either of them had expected.  "You listen to me,
and you listen to me good. This is NOT your doing. You couldn't have
stopped this. One way or another it was bound to happen. I was meant to
take this path, just as you were meant to take yours. It's my time and I
have made peace with that."

"Bobby, how can you say that? How can you be ready to die?" Emily sobbed
from the other side of the bed.

"Look at me sis, this is just a shell of a body. This is not living. I want
to be free, free from the pain, free from the agony of having to live like
this day in and day out. I believe just like you do, that once I am gone I
will truly be free. Weren't you the one who opened the bible and sat me
down when I was eight or nine and I had broke my leg. It was you that
showed me that when we get to heaven God has promised us that there will be
no more pain, no more suffering. I want that." Bobby raised a shaky hand to
his sister's face and wiped her tears away. "I wish I could have been there
for you. Sarah hated that I was in her life and you weren't. We all should
have been. Forgive me?"

"Of course." Emily said, leaning into his hand. Bobby patted her cheek
before his hand fell to the bed.

"I'm so tired Emily."

"I know. You sleep now."

"Stay with me till I do?" he asked, sounding just like a small child.

"Of course, I always did." Emily replied, remembering better day.

"Take care of her when I'm gone." Bobby said, squeezing the hand that still
held his.

"I always will." Alexis promised. Bobby smiled as his eyes fell closed. It
seemed like mere seconds before the sound of his rhythmic breathing joined
the sounds of the machines that helped to keep him alive.

"He's right." Emily said softly, bringing Alexis from her thoughts.

"About what, my love?"

"This isn't living. He doesn't even look the same. I could have walked past
him and never known..." Emily's words were cut off by the sob that filled
her throat. Alexis gently laid down the hand that she held and circled the
bed, taking her love into her arms.

"Shhh. Let's let him rest." Alexis turned them towards the door.  Alexis
and Emily walked into the waiting room, with Alexis' arms still around her.

"Emily?" the small older woman's voice reached out to her. Emily looked up
through tear filled eyes.

"I never meant... I never meant for this to happen." Emily sobbed as her
mother took her into her arms. Alexis stepped back and looked over at Sarah
and Piper. They both nodded that it would be fine and motioned for her to
join them.

"Mom, I never... He's so weak and thin."

"Shhh... Hush now, baby. This was not your doing. He'll be out of pain
soon. Shhh..." Her mother's soft soothing voice ran over her. In the back
of Emily's mind she wanted to hate the woman whose arms now surrounded her,
but right then and there, it was exactly what she needed. She loved Alexis
with all of her heart, but at that moment she needed the embrace and love
of her mother more then she ever had before.

"He's dying, mom. He's dying." Emily said, pulling away from her mother.

"I know he is. I wish there was something that we could do to stop it. It's
in God's hand now."

"How can you say it so calmly like that?" Emily asked her voice filling
with anger. "How could you turn your back on me and never look back?" Emily
asked, violently yanking her arms from her mother's grasp.

"Emily this isn't the time or the place." Sarah warned her, scooting
towards the end of her seat. Her mother's hand stopped her.

"No, if Emily needs to do this now. We will do this now." While Barbra's
voice was filled with motherly authority her eyes never left her younger
daughter's who stood there daring her to talk.

"Why? How? How do you turn your back on your own flesh and blood?" Emily's
voice was filled with loathing, her lips curling in anger. The more that
she stared at her mother, the more her face turned up like her mouth was
filled with a horrible taste.

"It's more complicate than that." Her mother answered, slowly lowering her
hand from where she had held it out to stop Sarah.

"Really? Not from where I stand it's not. You and daddy, you turned your
back on us. You cut ties with your daughter, with your grandchildren, then
you took my sister from me. She was all that I had left!" Emily accused,
tears streaming freely down her face.

"Piper, go get something to eat." Alexis said, shoving money towards her
daughter.

"Why?" Piper asked, pissed off.

"You don't need to see your mother like this. They have stuff to work out."
Sarah agreed. "I think I will come with you." She said, standing up.

"But what about mom?" Piper whispered, watching her mother stare down her
grandmother.

"She'll be fine. I won't leave her. I promise. Just please, go with your
aunt." Alexis' eyes pleaded with her as much as her voice did.

"Ok." Piper stood and turned to leave, stopping before she had taken a
single step. Before Sarah or Alexis could stop her she reached out and
touched her mother's arm. The look in her mother's eyes scared her. Anger,
distrust, and betrayal filled them. Slowly her eyes softened as she looked
at her daughter's face.

"Hi, baby." She said softly.

"Mom, sit down, talk to her. She loves you as much as you love me." Piper
watched her mother's eyes face with disbelief and anger before they filled
with love once more.

"I will try, baby. Go with your aunt and get something to eat."

"I'm worried about you." Piper admitted softly.

Emily reached out her hand and ran her thumb across Piper's cheek. "I'll be
fine, sweetie. I've just bottled up a lot of emotions over the years. I
guess I didn't realize how much till just now. Just go with Sarah. I will
try to sit down and talk with her, alright?"

Piper nodded and Emily dropped her hand and watched as Piper walked out of
the waiting room. It was then that she looked around and realized that they
had drawn more than a few eyes in their direction.

"No one is with Bobby." She said to no one in particular.

"He will sleep for a few hours. We have some time to talk." Barbra said
softly. For the first time, Emily really turned and looked at her
mother. There were signs of the hardships that she had been through. Aside
from the dark circles that surrounded her eye, a few more wrinkles and a
few more white hairs, she was just the same as she had always been. As
Emily looked into her eyes, she noticed the tears that sat there unshed.

"There is a walkway next to the river outside. Why don't we walk?" Barbara
said softly as she turned her head away from her daughter's gaze.

Alexis stood and took Emily's hand into her own and the three women walked
towards the elevators once more.

"We never really had a chance to meet." Barbra told Alexis. "I'm sorry for
that. Sarah has told me a lot about you."

Alexis just politely smiled. What was she supposed to say to that? "Oh,
that's nice?" No way. She had no idea what to say but she definitely
wouldn't be saying something cutesy nice to someone who had caused Emily so
much pain. She was surprised she had made it this long without blowing up
on any of the people that had caused their family such hardships.

"Mom, now is not the time to try to get to know us. Now is the time that we
get answers. I heard that daddy passed away."

Barbra sighed heavily as they stepped off the elevator and turned towards
the large doors in front of them. "He never got over you and Bobby. He
refused to talk about either of you, but after that day, he lost his will
to go on. The only time that he would talk to me was when he was busy
taking his anger out on me. I told him that I was going to find Bobby and I
was going to make amends with you, that I couldn't take it anymore. He lost
it. I had never seen your father so angry before. I have a few scars to
prove it. It was about six months later he was at work and his secretary
came in to find him face down on a pile of paper work. It was a massive
heart attack. "

"How did you cope?" Alexis asked softly, taking Emily's hand into her
own. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone she loved
that much. "Emily told me how close you all were."

"I actually did ok. I... the relationship that I had with her father wasn't
what it had once been. I didn't agree with how he treated our children but
I couldn't go against him. Partially because I followed what the Bible says
and partially because I was afraid."

"Daddy had never raised a cruel hand to anyone. I can't believe that he
would hurt you."

"People change, love, sometimes for the worse."


Emily shook her head. She knew that better than anyone. She had experienced
more than her share of heart ache due to it. "It still doesn't make any
sense. Why would he hurt you?"

"He was angry with himself for not being able to raise a good, "Christian"
family. He was angry at me for still wanting to be part of your lives
regardless of what path that you all chose. The last time, he hurt me
pretty bad. I had never raised my voice to him. I couldn't stop my self. I
was so angry and so bitter towards him from keeping me from my kids, when I
yelled, he back handed me, broke my jaw in two places." Barbra motioned to
the scar that was now barely noticeable on her cheek.

"Oh my God mom!" Emily gasped.



Sorry it took so long to get this chapter posted. For one- it's a bit
longer than normal. And for two I just had a hell of a time moving the rest
of our stuff across country. Should have another one posted a lot sooner
than this one. Keep your eyes open. Thanks again for sticking with me this
long. Don't forget to drop me a line and let me know what you thought of
the latest installment.

Until Next Time,
Amanda