Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2007 12:37:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: AMANDA PLOGGER <love4fun4life@yahoo.com>
Subject: upside_umop_insideout-7

Okay This story contains sexual acts between two females if this offends
you then don't read it. If you are not 18 or whatever the age maybe where
your from, don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between
two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not
real.
Any similarities are just that.

I still have many, many chapters to go. Let me know what you think so
far.
Good or bad. Thank you so much to everyone who has written me giving
me much needed encouragement to keep writing. I have made many friends
and hope to find even more. It is amazing who you meet on here. *smiles*
I love to write so check back in soon and you are sure to find more.

As always, enjoy.

Amanda


                             upside_umop_insideout



                                     Part 7



                                      Out



"It can't be true, it just can't be. Alexis, it can't." Emily said
looking at Alexis, pleading.

"What can't be true?" Alexis asked gently.

"I... I..." Emily wrapped her arms around Alexis and sobbed into her
neck, holding on to her like she was the only thing keeping her from
drowning. And at that moment, that was exactly how Emily felt.

Alexis held her, whispering I-love-you's in her ear, not knowing what
else to do. She felt so completely helpless. She was used to staring down
her problems, figuring them out, facing them head first. But now,
watching the woman she loved cry, not knowing why, there was nothing that
she could do. She felt helpless.

"Oh come on, baby girl." Alexis laughed softly, pulling Emily back from
her as her sobs slowed. "It can't be all that bad. Just tell me, Em."
She said kissing her forehead.

"That bad and worse." Emily said, around gulps of air.

"Try me."

"I'm pregnant." Emily said quietly.

Alexis felt as if she had just been punched in the stomach. She had been
with Emily for almost two months. "Pregnant?" She asked pulling away
like if she touched Emily she'd get burnt. "Pregnant. How? I mean, no
shit. I know how, but... You know what I mean. How? When? How long have
you known?" She spewed at Emily. "Are you sure?"


"I'm sure." Emily cried softly. She could take anything else, but not
Alexis's anger. "I always know. I knew, I knew. I tried lying to
myself, but I now know for sure. There's no way to deny it. I only get
sick when I drink too much or... or... I'm..."

"Pregnant." Alexis finished her sentence for her, like she had a bad
taste in her mouth. Alexis laid back on the pillow and stared up at the
ceiling. Emily pulled her knees to her chest and cried.

"Lex, it was before you. I swear. Alex. Please. I swear. I haven't
slept with anyone but you since that first day. I don't know how this
happened. I was on birth control. I was. I took it every day at the same
time. Just like you are supposed to. I don't understand how this
happened. I don't want to lose you. I love you Alexis." Emily sobbed
again, laying her head on her knees as if it was too heavy to hold up
anymore.

Alexis was filled with guilt as she looked over at Emily's sobbing
shoulders, her arms hugging her legs. Just an hour ago she was saying
forever and ever, and now here she was thinking the worst of Emily
without having the whole story. She should have known better, but
thinking like that would be too rational for Alexis. She had a bad habit
of living in a fairy tale world, even when she knew it wasn't healthy.
That was just a small part of it. She knew that Emily loved her and would
never cheat on her.

"Come here, babe. It'll be okay." She said sitting up and wrapping
herself around Emily. "I'm...I'm not going anywhere." Alexis promised
as she pulled Emily into her arms and laid back on the bed.

"I'm so scared. All of this was hard enough. You and I. Now... now this.
I can't ask you to stay. I can't... This... this is too much." Emily
felt her tears roll across Alexis's naked breast.

Emily was scared. To death. She had a feeling when she missed her first
period. She never missed her period. She was fighting it with every thing
in her. But it's not something you can deny forever. She was almost sure
after the second month... but she didn't want to face it. It would be too
much. She didn't want this baby. She didn't want to be a single mother.
She didn't want to lose Alexis. "How could this happen? How? Why? Why
now?" She thought. What would she tell people "Uh, Mark? Oh he left me.
Let me introduce my girlfriend. This is Alexis. Oh and just in case you
didn't notice, yes, I am pregnant."

"You are not asking me to do anything. You should know me well enough by
now to know that no one makes me do anything I don't want to. It'll be
okay. It will be okay. I'm scared too..." "God, I am scared." Alexis
added silently as she rocked Emily in her arms. "...but it will be
okay."

Emily's crying slowed to a stop as Alexis rocked her, talking to her in
hushed tones. She just talked. Emily felt safe in Alexis's arms, and
some how she knew it would be okay. She was still sad, but she knew
Alexis wasn't going anywhere. "I draw you close to me, you women! I
cannot let you go, I would do you good, I am for you, and you are for me,
not only for our own sake, but for others' sakes..."  Erica heard Alexis
quote Walt Whitman as she drifted off to sleep.

Alexis stayed awake for the next few hours, holding onto Emily for dear
life. She was scared. She had a million and one things filtering through
her brain. And the more she thought of it the more and more she was
thrilled with the idea of her and Emily having a child to raise together.
Even if it was never by blood, or even by name, she'd finally have the
baby she'd always wanted. Brant and Piper where wonderful and she loved
them to death, but they were already past the baby point. She had missed
out on that. She began to look forward to the midnight feedings and
diaper changing duty.

*******************************************************************

"Good morning gorgeous!" Alexis said as she stretched her body to it's
full length in bed, grinning ear to ear as she rolled over and kissed
Emily. "How is my beautiful mother-to-be?" Alex asked sitting up and
crossing her legs.

"I, uh, Alex?" Emily sat up and leaned against the head board in total
confusion. She rubbed her eyes and looked over at Alexis as if doing so
would wipe the smiling-like-an-idiot grin off of Alexis's face.

"Yes, love?" Alexis asked beaming over at her.

"Did you take some happy pills before waking me up and not tell me?"

Alexis cocked her head to the side and seemed to think about the
question. "Nooo." She said slowly.

"Okay, cause you are really freaking me out here."

"Why can't I be happy? There's going to be a new baby soon."

"Well, not for at least seven or eight months. And a lot can happen in
seven or eight months."

"Why can't we make this work? I love you and even if the baby is not
mine- I love the idea of having a child with you. I know this is all so
fast. Don't say it- I see it in your eyes, the doubt. God, I am like...
Ahhhh!" Alexis let out a happy scream. "I love you! I know it's a
crazy insane, I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing, over-the-top, there is
probably no way this is healthy kinda love." Alexis felt like she needed
to run or jump or dance or something.

"You know how hard this is going to be? For both of us. You are getting
your self way in over your head. I can't do this by myself, Alexis. I
can't. What if a years down the road this gets to be too much for
you?"  Emily asked, trying to keep a sensible head, even though she just
wanted to smile and kiss Alexis.

"It's not going to. I promise. I am ready for this. I am happy... not
fuck that... I am ESCATIC about this..." Alexis said hoping up on her
knees.

"What about Mark?"

"Fuck Mark! Fuck it all! I don't care. I love you Emily! I don't care.
I don't!" Alexis cried out, taking Emily's face in her hands, she
kissed her quickly before jumping from the bed.

"I love you. You're insane. You know that?!?' Emily laughed as she
watched her lovers naked body dance across the bedroom.

"I know!" Alexis laughed as she danced into the bathroom.

"Thank you." Emily said somberly leaning on the door frame. Alexis
looked up from the toilet.

"For what?" Alexis asked, her smile still plastered to her face, but
now accompanied by confusion.

"For loving me so much that this crazy situation makes you irrationally
happy." Emily said smiling. "Now, move your ass before I piss on you!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh yes I would." Emily said and to prove her point she turned to sit
on Alexis's lap. She laughed. "I knew you could move fast when you
wanted to." She joked as Alexis shot up from the toilet.

"You still coming to lunch?" Emily asked as she let out a sigh of
relief.

"I don't know. Family?" Alexis said looking at Emily through the
mirror as she brushed her teeth. Emily wiped and walked over to Alexis,
wrapping her arms around her waist.

"It's only my brother." Emily smiled.  Alexis wiggled her butt into
Emily as she leaned over to spit. "That was just mean." She said
stepping back to pop Alexis's cute tight butt.

"Come on... he's cool, I promise... he of all people will understand.."
Emily's eyes begged Alexis's reflection in the mirror. "Please."
Emily saw the twinkling in Alexis's eyes. "You! You just wanted me to
beg!"

"And what if I did?" Alexis asked as she turned around and wrapped her
arms around Emily.

"Well then I just..." Emily started before Alexis quieted her with a
kiss.

"I will be there. I won't be able to stay long and I have to drive solo
today. I have to pick up my check from work after the morning class. And
my afternoon one starts before yours. But any time I can have with my
baby," Alexis said, reaching her hands between them and placing them on
Emily's belly, "I won't miss." She looked into Emily's eyes and felt
the love that filled them.

"Now," Alexis said giving her a quick kiss and pushing away from her,
"Hurry up or we are going to be late. Get dressed. I will take care of
the kids this morning." She called over her shoulder as she walked out
of the bathroom.

Emily shook her head. Would she ever get enough of Alexis and this crazy
love they shared? She sighed. This would not be easy but if Alexis could
find joy in it, so could she. She still wanted to scream it from the roof
tops.



"Bobby!" She exclaimed wrapping her arms around her kid brother. She
couldn't believe that he was almost 21. "God, do you ever stop
growing?" She asked him as he hugged her back. At 6'2 he towered over
her.

Bobby leaned back, holding his sister at arms length, giving her a once
over. "Emily. God, mom is right, you are glowing. You are radiant,
dear." He said squeezing her. "So dish."

Emily beamed up at him. "I have so much to tell you. I hate you for
living so far away!" Emily said, turning towards the kitchen. "But
first I want to head all about you. How have you been?"

Bobby filled her in on his new job as she made their lunch. She looked
out the window as she listened wondering when Alexis would make it in.
Emily was brought out of her dream world at the mention of the new
`friend' her brother was involved with.

"He sounds wonderful." She said as she came around the island and sat
his plate in front of him. "Yeah, but God, I am so ready for Summer
break to be here already." Bobby sat forward and took a bite of his
chicken salad sandwich. "This. Is. Awesome. Sis." He said around chews.

Emily smiled before she was hit with a sob. Bobby dropped his sandwich.
"Baby, why are you crying?' He asked, leaning over to wipe away
Emily's tears.

Emily laughed through her tears. "Because I'm hormonal." She said
pushing his hands away.

"The only time YOU are hormonal is when you are pregnant." Bobby
laughed, trying to easy some of the tension. Emily looked up at her
brother and his laughter quickly died away. "Oh fuck. You are."

Emily laughed and shrugged.

"That's it. That's all I get is a shrug."

"Well what do you want me to say?" Emily asked defensively.

"Does Jack Ass know? It is Mark's isn't it?" Bobby added with a
smile.

"Well, screw you too. Of course it's his. And no. I haven't told him.
When he left he left with a stipulation that we don't talk unless it's
absolutely necessary and then only about the kids."

"Well, this is about the kids and I don't know about you but I think
that it might absolutely be necessary that you tell him. There is only so
long that you can hide something like this."

"You are only the second person that I have told."

"The second? I think I should be offended. So who was the first?" He
asked with a shit-eating grin.

"Well, you know how I had a lot to tell you..."

Alexis pulled into the driveway and noticed the blue Tundra sitting in
her normal spot. "Brother's here." Alexis sighed as her heart rate
doubled. Then it hit her she didn't even know his name. Alexis shrugged
as she hopped up the front porch stairs. Alexis decided that she needed
to change her shirt and clean up a bit before meeting anyone.

"There is someone that I want you to meet." Emily said looking towards
the kitchen door that she had purposely left open. "Alexis?" Emily
called off after her.

"Alexis." Bobby growled simultaneously.

Alexis made it two feet past the kitchen door when it hit her. She
stopped so suddenly she almost tripped over her self in the process. She
stood there, holding on to the wall as she let it process. That voice,
that man sitting at the table. She took two steps back.

"Alexis, I would like you to meet my brother..."

"Bobby." Alexis finished her sentence for her, leaving Emily looking at
her confused.

"Alexis."

"Wait you two know each other?" Emily asked looking between the two of
them.

"You could say that."

"Yeah, you COULD say something like that." Bobby said, his words
dripping with anger. "What is this cunt doing in your house?

"Bobby!" Emily scolded him.

"Don't start, Bobby." Alexis said at the same time.

"Fuck you, Lex." Emily could see the hatred in her brother's eyes. She
had never seen him look like that and it began to scare her.

"Ok, will someone please let me in on what the hell is going on?" Emily
demanded. While her brother looked ready to kill, Alexis just looked
defeated, deflated. Emily didn't like seeing her like that. She just
wanted to pull her into her arms and find out what is was that was going
on. But she sat still and waited.

"You could say we have some history." Alexis said quietly, breaking the
tension filled silence.

"History?!?" Bobby snorted. "I think that's putting it nicely,
fucking back stabbing bitch."

"Get over it, Bobby. We all make mistakes. You want an apology, I AM
sorry, Bobby, I am. Emily, I am sorry dear, I can't stay here right
now."

Emily sat there stunned as she watched Alexis walk out the same way she
came in. Emily sighed and slowly shook her head. "Bobby, what the..."

"What was she doing here, Emily?" Bobby snapped, cutting her off.

"What is the deal between you two?"

"What was she doing here?!?" Bobby asked again, practically yelling at
her.

"She LIVES here!" Emily snapped back looking over at her brother's
fuming face.

"What the hell are you doing letting that dyke bitch stay here? There is
no way that you are that hard up that you are renting HER out a room. I
KNOW you aren't letting her around MY niece and nephew!" Bobby accused.

"That is none of your business Robert Thompson. Maybe you should be the
one telling me what the hell is going on. I might think about telling you
what she is doing here. Oh and your niece and nephew love that dyke
bitch  and I care for her so I would watch what you say." Emily warned,
her unspoken threat hanging in the air between them. She might be almost
a foot shorter than him, but she knew how to handle herself and her knew
that.

"Fine! History? History- your little friend. Your little friend stole
the one man that I have ever loved. Remember Jackson?" He asked. Emily
cringed at the name. She did remember him. She remembered her brother had
just turned 18 and was totally in love with him. She also remembered that
Jackson was bi and a player and if she hadn't been pregnant the first
time they me, she was sure that he would have made a play for her.
Married or not.  He was a sleaze ball, but her brother was too in love to
see it. He was so in love her was oblivious to Jackson's cheating ways.
It lasted almost two years until `some hussy took him away' she
recalled him saying when she walked in on him crying at their parents
house. She was now sure that hussy was her Alexis.

"She..." He said pointing his finger towards the empty doorway. "She
was the reason he left. I walking in on them fucking one night. He
didn't even stop fucking her, just looked up at me and smiled. A few
nights later, I went to our club, thinking I was going to meet up with
him like usual. He was hanging all over her. When I confronted him about
it he told me to quit being a little pussy and deal. I left him that
night. A single tear fell down his face. Emily's hand was knocked away
as she went to wipe his tear away. "So now, do I have the right to know
what she is doing here?" He asked looking over at her and saw tears
rolling down her cheeks as well.

"Damn hormones." She said wiping them away.

"I am sorry Emily, But I need to know. How does she fit into all of
this?" bobby asked taking her hand. "What is she doing living here?"

"I... I asked her to live her." Emily said, wiping her tears again as
she stood up. "Off the roof tops." She reminded herself as she walked
to the sink, leaning against it for support.

"Why, why did you ask her- HER- to move in here?" He asked with an edge
to his voice. It was just enough to give her what she needed to fire
back.

"Because, Bobby, I am in love with HER!" Emily said angrily as she
turned back to her brother.

"YOU are in love with HER?" He asked quietly, anger filling his voice.

"I love her. Head over heels, totally insanely, weak in the knees, love
her. Bobby, it's the kind we used to dream of growing up. Remember?"
Emily said kneeling before him, taking his hands in hers. "We used to
stay up all night talking about it."

"Not her. Not that... That fucking tramp. Not her Emily." He begged.
"She's a slut Emily. Two weeks. Two weeks she used Jackson. Then she
dropped him like a bad habit. She will do it to you too."

Emily shook her head. "She's changed, Bobby. Please, just give her a
chance."

"NO! I won't stand here and watch her do that to you. And she will.
Just wait!" Bobby said standing up with such force he knocked his chair
over.

"Bobby, please. You have to believe me. She's not like that anymore.
Hate me. I am the reason. I am the reason she was like that." Emily said
grabbing onto his hand as he turned to leave, looking up at him from
where she still sat on her knees, pleading.

"Let go of me." He said yanking his hand away from her. "Don't come
crying to me when she fucks you over, sis." He said looking down at her
in disgust. He hesitated at the door. "It's her or me Emily." He said.
"Have fun with the dyke."

"Bobby!" Emily yelled out as the house shook with the slamming of the
door. "DAMN IT!"