Date: Sun, 25 May 2008 20:11:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Nate House <extreamlucky14@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Silent Cellist 15:  Heart of Darkness part 2

  Hello everyone! I do hope you liked the last chapter. I apologize for the
slight typographical error, but the numbers in the story are in fact
correct, despite what the heading says. This chapter is my favorite in the
series so far. Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in with
their comments. I hope you like this installment of "The Silent Cellist". I
look forward to hearing from you!

******************************************************

Chapter Fifteen: The Heart of Darkness

    Brittany awoke in a cold sweat with tears running down her face. She
placed her fingers against her cheeks, following the stream left behind by
her crying. Brittany couldn't help but feel frightened by how cold her skin
under her touch. All over her body there was a fearful chill that washed
over her. The kind of cold that comes from the core of your being, from
places deep down that you wish didn't exist. Brittany felt her heart
thumping against her breast, but it felt like it was inside her throat.
    Desperately she looked around her room for something familiar to look
at. A poster, a book, anything. What she found was her mirror--and her
dreadful reflection; her horrified expression. With caution in her will,
she stared into her reflection's eyes, searching for something to hold on
to. The nightmare still playing vividly in her mind, she reached again to
her cheek. Once more she felt the cold pass through her finger tips; the
two pairs of eyes never unlocked their stare. Intent on finding for what
she searched, she continued to stare into the nothingness of her eyes. All
along Brittany felt her heart's and lung's paces quickening. Finally, after
many a long minute lost unto this stranger's eyes, she found for what she
so hastily searched: the answers for her nightmare.
    As Brittany reclined back in her bed, she toyed with the idea in her
mind. She saw her reflection smile at her, telling her it was O.K. to think
of this notion. In her heart she new this to be the answer, but her brain
and logic was screaming for the otherwise. In her heart she truly believed
Amanda's story; her brain even agreed she couldn't have made all that
up. She kept looking at her reflection's face and the different expression
it wore and how opposite it was of her own. She should be happy to be
thinking this, but nay, she is far from it. Brittany felt her tears welling
in her eyes once again, but not from trepidation. It was from all of her
bottled up frustration and confusion finally being released. She leaned her
head back against the wall and let her cheeks be watered again. "Then this
is it then," Brittany thought out loud. "I'll tell her before our trip."
    All next week, Brittany couldn't get all of these images out of her
head. These nauseating images of Amanda and Sarah's decaying bodies. She
could see it in their eyes: the angry fear they felt when they died. Their
last living memory being that of utter helplessness; why else would Amanda
hang herself? Then there was the smell. That sickening scent of blood and
decaying corpses. The mere memory of it all made her vomit at least once a
day all week.
    Her mother didn't know what to make of it. Yeah, her daughter hay have
been having some definite mood swings recently, but her overall aura seemed
to remain as vibrant as she knows Brittany to be. But now she seemed more
distant than ever. She would stay in her room for hours on end, she stopped
talking all together during dinner and "girl time" simply didn't
exist. Coach Wilson even told her that Brittany's been slipping up and was
not herself at practice. Naturally, Brittany neglected to mention the true
nature of her problems in any conversation with either of them; however few
that may have been.
    Brittany tried to go out to the bookstore after school everyday, but
everyday her courage failed her. She's seen far too many depressing images
of Amanda and Sarah and to see her playing her harmonic songs would only
add music to the mood. She would sit in her car everyday after school and
damn herself for being so weak. People would pass by her car, seeing her
crying into her hands as if her father and brother died all over again.
    "Brit, you got something on your mind?" Brian asked before practice on
Friday. The two of them were getting the practice field set-up along with
some of the other team members. "You've been completely fucked up all
week."
    "I'm fine," Brittany answered in a subdued tone. She didn't want to
think about anything else other than the task at hand.
    "Bullshit!" he nearly screamed, obviously hurt by her seeming
indifference. "Brittany you've been like my little sister for five fucking
years. You've only acted like this when your dad and brother died--may they
rest in peace. All this year it's been one thing or another that's been
bothering you and you've shut me out every time. Wanna tell me why?"
    "No, I don't, Brian," Brittany said solemnly though touched by his
concern. "I appreciate it though."
    "NO!" He yelled, throwing his tools at their feet. "I'm not asking you
as your captain or friend, I'm begging you as your brother. Have I ever
given you any reason not to trust me?" Brittany looked upon his face for
the first time all day. He was crying. He was sorely hurt by her shutting
him out of everything that's happened to her recently. Brian pulled his
"'little sis" into him and squeezed, then pleaded, "Please, Brittany, tell
me what's going with you."
    "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she answered, looking back to
the ground after Brian let her go. "It's complicated."
    "Then simplify it for me and my heterosexual brain," Brain said
chuckling but still pleading.
    "If you must insist," Brittany started, taking a seat on one of the
partially inflated bunkers, "it all started that night of the party..."
Brittany went to tell him everything she experienced from those creepy
feelings of being watched all the time, to the eerie music coming from the
now destroyed old house on her block, to meeting Amanda and her hideous
eyes. She went into a great amount of detail about her initial fear of
Amanda, but how that changed once she beat the hell out of Kayla and
Samantha, but trailed off when she got to Sunday night.
    "I get the feeling there's more," Brian said in an understanding tone,
hugging onto her. "I can kinda get the rest of it and why you would be
creeped out by all of this, hell I would myself, but something is telling
me you're leaving out something... something kinda important."
    "Well I had this really scary nightmare the night of our last
tournament. I don't know why, but all of these bad images came into my
head. I watched Amanda hang herself from a rafter..." she managed to get
out with a bit of effort. Brittany sobbed and sniffled at the memory that
played so vividly in her head. "...I heard her gasping for air... then that
noise of her body swinging, and that smell..." Brittany broke into tears at
the thought of recounting that part. Even though it was just a dream, it
felt so real, like she actually watched her kill herself and Sarah.
    "Shh, shh," Brian cooed, rocking them back and forth, "you don't have
to tell me anything more if you don't want to." By now, Brian himself was
crying again. She had such a horrible story to tell and he wished those
kinds of memories on no one.
    "No, I want to finish this," she answered, wiping her face. "Her wife
was laying beside the dresser of the room, stabbed and slashed to
death. Amanda suddenly appeared standing over her like some kind of
monster. She picked up the one picture she had of the two of them and
smashed into her face... and... and then she began to mutilate herself with
the broken glass. Oh, God, the blood..." once more, Brittany felt her
courage and strength abandoning her, but Brian's arms offered her the
comfort needed to calm down. "...then she said to me 'Why didn't you save
me, Brittany?' with the glass shards sticking out of her eyes..."
    "O.K. that's enough," Brian said, pulling her tighter into him. He felt
his own strength leaving him. He was sobbing right along with her while
they remained rocking in their embrace.
    "Everything O.K. over here?" the two of them heard Tina ask. She had
been finishing up with her part of the work and noticed the two of them
holding each other, something she'd never seen before.
    "Yeah, we're fine," Brian answered hastily. Brittany was still sobbing
into his shoulder, but managed to pull herself together once she heard
Tina's voice once again.
    "Oh... O.K. but I need to finish getting everything set-up so we can
actually practice today."
    "Yeah, have Ashely and a couple of the others get the leaf-blowers out
and start inflating all the bunkers," Brian ordered like her usually
does. Tina left to carry out her instructions and get the tools put away.
    Brian escorted Brittany back to the their staging area to sit down for
a minute. The two of them heard the blowers inflating the field while they
just sat there, neither of them know what to say next. Brian felt like shit
for making her spill her guts like that and Brittany was a complete mess
for being so stubborn. "You can go home if you want to, Brit," Brian
managed to get out after their long silence.
    "Weren't you listening?" Brittany quipped, her eyes glowing with
anger. "I said playing and working out were the only ways I have of not
feeling all of this shit. I don't know why, it just does. I'm not going
home!"
    "O.K., O.K. I'm sorry," Brian said in defense, "just trying to be
helpful."
    "Then get your fucking ass in gear," she said with that evil smile that
Brian loves so much about her.
    It was in that moment that Brittany felt the heavy burden falling from
her shoulders and her old self reappeared. Practice went much better now
that Brittany was back to herself. She realized that the mood of the entire
team revolved around her despite the coaches' and Brian's ass-chewings. No
one wanted to play if Brittany was feeling out of the game or if she wasn't
there, for whatever reason. All of this she saw in this one day of
practice.
    Brittany drove over to the bookstore once practice ended. The coaches
and the other players kept telling her how good it was to have her back all
afternoon, but she just smiled and kept her humble demeanor about
her. Despite all of the encouragement and smiles, she had an uncontrollable
urge just to get the hell out of there. They may have meant well, but it
was too much to hear after everything she did for two hours straight.
    She arrived and Amanda was playing with Inikye still. Normally her
shows would've ended about ten minutes ago, but she kept playing as if
waiting for Brittany arrive. She saw her, running her hand up and down the
neck as her fingers danced along the strings, all the while keeping her
eyes closed and swaying with the music. Brittany watched for a long while
as her friend played for the large crowd gathered in front of the
door. Then after she finished that song, Amanda, with her eyes still shut,
looked in Brittany's direction and smiled. Amanda bowed head for the
applause immediately thereafter, but Brittany was sure she smiled at her
not truly knowing if she was there. Either way it didn't matter, Brittany
was standing in that spot but was soon elbowing her way through the crowd
to get next to her friend.
    Amanda rose from her seat and took her graceful final bow, as she was
doing on a regular basis for her regular fans. Brittany joined the group in
the continuing ovation but that only made it that much harder to clear a
path for herself. Amanda kissed Inikye for the great show he put on and
placed him in his case. She calmly carried on with putting away her friend
while the crowd dispersed. Some went home, others went into the store, but
Brittany was just thankful that they were giving the room to make her way
to the door.
    "That was beautiful, Amanda," Brittany said as she stood behind her.
    Amanda looked back over her shoulder and smiled. Once Inikye was packed
away, she flipped her hood over her head and grabbed Brittany's hand. She
pulled her friend towards her while she stood up and picked up the case,
which Brittany finally noticed was in the shape of a coffin with an
arcane-looking cross carved into the surface. Some kind of Latin
inscription was chiseled into the crossbar, but the only word Brittany
could read was "Sarah". Amanda kept a hold of Brittany's hand, while
slinging Inikye onto her back and led her away from the bookstore.
    They walked for a short while, side-by-side, hand-in-hand. Brittany
didn't know what to say to her to break the ice. She knew Amanda wasn't
about to say anything, but she could find no form of intelligence inside
her head. Her earlier talk with Brian all but vanquished all of the ghastly
things in her brain. Then it hit her, out of the blue, Amanda was leading
her in a specific direction but to where? Brittany had no idea.
    They stopped in front of a trailer made out to be a small
window-diner. Amanda stopped and rested Inikye against the wall while
Brittany was left to wondering exactly what was on this girl's mind. "Hey
Amanda," the owner said pleasantly from behind the window, "what's it going
to be today?"
    Amanda raised her fingers of the number six and the man turned his
attention to Brittany. "And for yourself, young lady?"
    Brittany was at a loss as to what to say. She was hungry and the
delicious aroma of the grill was only aggravating her empty tummy. She took
a couple minutes to browse the menu behind the nice guy and made her
decision, "I'll have a number four." The man went to work making the girls'
orders while Amanda took her friends over to one of the tables.
    Brittany looked at Amanda's smiling face as she waved to the people
calling out to her by name. This was new side to Amanda that she didn't
expect to see today. Amanda looked back at her friend with a look on her
face that said "what?".
    "The people around this place are sure friendly," Brittany said,
stating the obvious, but at least she finally said something.
    "yeah, most of them are my regular fans," she wrote on a fresh pad.
    "How do you know them all so well?" Brittany inquired still grinning.
    "Mr. Scott, in the trailer, saw me playing one day and asked if I would
play at his son's birthday party. I did so without charge and then played
at his daughter's birthday party again without charge. after that he told
me I can come by his place anytime"... "as long as I would play for his
kids." Amanda finished her words with a little giggle.
     "My, that's sure nice of him," Brittany said, surprised by this bit of
news. As Amanda mentioned his name, she caught the distinct scent of her
Philly Cheesesteak cooking on the grill.
    "I kept his name away from Illitor, since he doesn't trust strangers as
much as I," Amanda explained, knowing full well Brittany wouldn't know the
difference.
    "Oh, O.K.," Brittany answered, trying to be nice. "Do you trust every
stranger you meet?"
    Amanda just gave her a look then wrote, "no, just the ones I have a
feeling about"... "like you".
    Brittany felt her face blush at that one. About a million different
things ran through her mind as to what she meant. Amanda had a cheerful
expression on her face, but could feel the uncertainty overwhelming her
friend. "What.... um... what kind of feelings?"
    Amanda almost rolled her eyes at the question. She hesitated a moment
before she answered. She racked her brain for a minute since she could tell
what Brittany was flushed about and had to choose her words wisely. As she
put her pen to paper, Mr. Scott called out to them.
    "Amanda! Order's up!" They two of them got up and headed for the
window, Brittany reaching into her purse for her wallet, but Mr. Scott
stopped her. "Any friend of Amanda's is a friend of mine. It's on the
house."
    She took her plate from the kind old man, "Thank you."
    "No problem, sweetheart," he said, smiling. He turned his attention
back to his grill while the girls took their plates over to their table.
    The girls ate in silence, both enjoying "The Best Grease Pit Food in
the City" as Mr. Scott's sign read. Neither one of them, or anyone else
who'd eaten there, would disagree. Brittany ate and though of how her
friend had a way with people. She was a state certified nut-job but
everyone she met seemed to love her. Roger, Mr. Scott, hell even her own
mother took an immediate liking to her. Brittany thought back to the night
they met and thought of just how easily she opened up to her. That night
she thought she just needed an open ear to fill, but in hindsight she
really felt comfortable around her.
    "Damn that was good," Brittany said once she finished. Amanda, who had
her mouth full, smiled and nodded her agreement to that statement. Brittany
let her eyes drift while Amanda finished her free dinner. Once again she
saw the inscription on Inikye's case. She studied the words for a moment,
but there was no way she going to able to translate it: "Diligo ot Sarah
Iacio Intus".
    Amanda saw her studying the inscription on Inikye's case and quickly
started writing. Once she was finished, she tapped Brittany on the shoulder
and pointed to her paper, "it loosely translates as 'Sarah's Love Lay
Within'."
    "That's beautiful, but I though you picked him out," Brittany said,
trying to start some manner of conversation about her friend's past.
    "I did, but he sang for the both of us," Amanda wrote, getting a little
choked up at the memory of those long nights. "Sarah told me that whenever
I couldn't be near her I should hold Inikye and our love will be forever
reborn." Amanda felt her tears coming into her eyes when she turned the
paper to Brittany to read.
    Brittany felt her own heart breaking as her eyes skimmed the
words. Just then her fears were realized: she can only love Sarah and no
one else. Brittany felt her heart shatter at the thought of it all. Amanda,
on the other hand, thought she was crying out of grief. Oblivious to what
Brittany was truly thinking, Amanda got up and hugged her friend. She held
onto her for a long while. People around them noticed that the embrace was
lasting much longer than your typical acquaintances parting.
    "would you like to meet her?" Amanda asked once she finally settled
down. Brittany, even with her heart broken, took a deep breath before
answering.
    "Sure," she said in a shaky breath. "Is that why we're going to the
asylum tomorrow?"
    "no," Amanda wrote after recomposing herself. "we are really going to
further your education about me, but I do want to pay my respects to her
before we leave"... "you're more than welcome to visit her if you choose."
    Brittany didn't know how to respond to that one. Somehow, Amanda turned
it around on her and made the decision entirely hers to make. Brittany just
nodded and rose to her feet. Amanda followed suit and threw Inikye over her
shoulder. Brittany did her best to keep a friendly demeanor about her, but
found it difficult after realizing that she had no chance with this
girl. This girl, who can make her heart melt with a look, who make her soul
soar with her playing. This girl who is clinically insane, who can't let go
of her first and only love. Brittany couldn't really blame her. She would
be forever attached to someone if she were put in that situation, but that
didn't make it hurt any less.
    The two girls walked back to the bookstore, still holding hands, but
both of them knew nothing of what the other was thinking. Brittany was
crushed and heartbroken, but Amanda felt happy and content. Amanda told
Brittany to wait a moment while she got her something. Brittany remained
standing by the door even as Roger came by to lock up for the night. He saw
the hurt in her eyes, but didn't dare ask how or why it was there. About
five minutes later, Amanda came bouncing through the door, holding a
leather-bound book. She leaned over and gave Brittany a kiss on the
cheek. Brittany accepted the book from Amanda then took off like a bat out
of hell.
    Brittany sat on her bed thinking over and over how much of a fool she
had been. To think that she could dare to love someone like Amanda, someone
who is insane and so oblivious to her emotions that it made her heart sink
at the mere mention of it all. She had no doubt that Amanda was only using
her to tell a sob story to gain her trust only to later abandon her when
another unfortunate fool crossed her path.
    With all of this running through her head and tears falling from her
eyes, she saw the book sitting on her pillow, right where her head would be
lying. She saw it, then Amanda's body took it's place. A familiar voice
called out to her, beckoning her to lie next to it, place her head against
Amanda's breast. Brittany wiped her eyes clean and picked up the book.
    She opened the cover to have a note fall into her lap. Instinctively
she picked it up and began to read it. The very familiar penmanship of
Amanda's hand was displayed for her:

"Brittany,

Herein lies the raw story of my time in that awful place. The uncensored,
gritty and graphic tale of someone who was deemed insane only to be pushed
into becoming. This is what you've sought and now possess. I will never ask
it back from your care nor will I ever ask if you've read the pages. You
wanted answers and I give you truth. Never has the thought of lying to you
ever crossed my degraded mind. The choice is yours and yours alone: turn
the page, or close the book.

Love, Amanda

P.S. Roger and I will leave for the asylum from the bookstore at 9:00
A.M. If you are not here by 9:05, then I will assume you will not be
joining us."

    Brittany only felt her heart ache as she read the note again and
again. The note felt so cold, in yet it carried a sense of cryptic
care. Brittany thought she knew the truth only this morning, but she soon
found realized that every truth has two parts. Amanda sounded like she
cared for her at the same time she was driving her point home... and that
point was well delivered. All of Brittany's curiosity was screaming at her
fingers to turn the page while her good senses told her to put the book
down and ne'er again pick it up.  In the emotional roller-coaster of her
head, she opted for the former. Brittany set the note down and began to
scan the pages.
    She read every word Amanda had written about her life. Brittany would
feel her stomach turn as she recounted the rapes and beatings she
suffered. The graphic and brutal nature of her encounters with these
people, all of whom were addressed by name and occupation, could make the
most hardened coroner queasy. As hard as it was for the girl, she couldn't
stop reading the pages.
    Brittany continued to read the book, even when her mom came to kiss her
good night. Brittany's eyes never left the page from which she was
reading. She arrived at the part of Amanda's account of the first execution
she was to witness. Brittany could feel Amanda's anger and fear coming out
of the words and into her own soul.
    "...how he screamed as the spikes were driven through his fingernails
and out of his wrist. This man, a hardened gang member of the Aryan
Brotherhood, cried like a small child while Sgt. Cook laughed a merry
laugh. Even from where I was, behind the safety of a two-way mirror, I felt
my innards churn until at last I gave back what little food I had to give.
    "Cpl. Barnes took out his knife and cut the man's jaw open, slicing
that razor from mouth-to-ear on both sides. I can still see all the blood
pouring from that wound, but the pain was not to end there. Sgt. Cook held
back his head, causing his mouth to fall open. Cpl. Barnes put the tip of
the knife against his gumline and pried out each one of his teeth. One at a
time I watched the bones fly from his mouth. One tooth at a time did that
crimson spray splash across the corporal's face. His only response was to
laugh at the man's shrills of pain. I refused to watch anymore, but I
didn't need to. All involved seemed to know I turned away. Suddenly, I
heard them narrating what was going on in the room. Louder still was the
man. More than once did I hear him speak of his innocence for whatever it
was they accused him. I heard them take out their 'Special Wands' and
systematically beat him while the Wands electrocuted him with twenty
thousand volts a piece.
    "I don't know why, but I looked through the two-way mirror once
more. The beating stopped, as did most of his shrieking, but experience
taught me to know better. They had him bent over the interrogation table
with his pants to his ankles. Sgt. Cook went to the closet and pulled out a
sharpened broom handle. That disgusting man-thing looked right at me as he
thrust it into the man's anus. Over and over and over again the spear
entered his rectum, tearing apart his outer skin and his inner parts. Even
though I couldn't see but the man's face, I knew just how badly he was
bleeding from the front and the back. With every thrust, not only did
Sgt. Cook's vile weapon go deeper, but chunks of flesh and intestine and
squirts of blood were flying all over the room. The man's eyes found mine
and then he stopped screaming"...
    Brittany felt her face go white from Amanda's recollection of he first
witnessed torture and execution. She not only felt faint, but could hear
the man screaming into her own ears for some kind of release from this
torture. Brittany scanned the pages further down, bypassing much more of
Amanda's graphic detail and saw that he died from loss of blood. Amanda had
to close the book for a moment and let her senses come back to her; she had
to reason with herself before she could carry on with the writings.
    As repulsed as she was, she couldn't help but keep reading. No matter
how hard it was to take in the details that Amanda so easily recounted,
Brittany had to find the pages with something good Amanda had written
about. She thumbed through several more entries. Some of which had ink
smudges from when her tears hit the paper, others had spots of dried blood
that must have seeped after one of her bad days.
    She found it just a few entries after that one, where Amanda spoke of
her and Sarah's marriage and nothing else. This must have been one of the
good days Amanda spoke of earlier. Brittany continued reading the pages and
found an entry with her name in it. Brittany blushed as she read how highly
Amanda thought of her after such a short period of time knowing her. She
thought back on it and they've only known each other less than two months,
but Amanda seemed as obsessed as she with finding out more about her; this
brought a smile to the girl's lips.
    Well into the early morning hours did Brittany keep reading. Her
attention so into the writings of her friend that she scarcely noticed the
rising sun's first light enter her room. The only way she came out of
Amanda's written reality was the annoyance of her blaring alarm
clock. Brittany shot up off her bed, scared out of her head by the sudden
shock of noise. "God damn it!" she yelled as her fingers found the OFF
button.
    Brittany got dressed into something comfortable before she headed out
to the bookstore. Even though she hadn't slept a wink the entire night, she
didn't feel an ounce of fatigue. Just as she was about to leave her room,
she collected Illitor to finish the reading on their way to the asylum. As
a last bit of business, she left a note for her mom explaining that she was
going out with "two friends" and will be gone the entire day.
    She arrived at the bookstore a good fifteen minutes before Amanda's
strict departure time. Brittany checked herself over at least a dozen times
to make sure she was ready for this. Her heart was racing and her breathing
was hoarse. Her nerves were all but shot when she exited the
vehicle. Brittany felt her legs going weak with every step she took, her
palms sweating beyond belief. Brittany calmed down immediately when she
remembered what Amanda said to her once: "Don't be afraid of what you
cannot see."
    "Hey Brittany," Roger called out from the doorway. He was wearing his
usual outfit of an old T-shirt and torn up jeans, a bit less formal than
Brittany's blouse and lengthy skirt. He looked down at the teenager sitting
on his doorstep, immediately thinking of how much she resembled Amanda
those two or three months back. "We weren't sure if you were coming or
not."
    "Yeah, I'm going, Roger," she answered solemnly, getting to her
feet. "I read most of Amanda's diary last night and now I have to see it
for myself. She went through a lot, too much for her to still be halfway
normal, let-alone alive." Her eyes remained lowered the whole time, trying
to put herself into that same situation but couldn't.
    "Yes she has," Roger said, feeling a tear drip down his face. He too
has spoken to Illitor and he is still troubled deeply by what he had to
say. "I can't help but feel guilty about this whole thing. There were so
many things I could have done to keep her out of that place, but I was too
full of my own teenage crap that I didn't give a shit about anyone or
anything. But enough about me, I'll bore you another time." Roger looked
back through the open door with his eyes raining tears. Amanda came walking
out of the far door which concealed the stairway into their apartment. She
smiled immediately when she noticed Brittany's ebony locks floating in the
breeze.
    All three of the travelers piled into Roger's car. The two girls opted
to sit next to each other in the back so they could be close. Without a
single word spoken from them, Roger started the car and took off for the
highway. Amanda could sense Brittany's nerves growing more and more tense
by the moment. Well into their trip all was silent, save for the stereo
playing Roger's heavy metal albums. Brittany spent most of her time running
different possible scenarios in her head, the same ones that have ran
through her mind all week. She kept her gaze out of the window, trying to
find something way to think of a good scenario. Amanda, on the other hand,
kept her eyes on Brittany the entire time she stared out into nothing. She
knew damn well what Brittany was going to see, but didn't know if she was
ever going to ask... or wait to be surprised.
    The long silence of the passengers was broken when Roger spoke out to
get Brittany talking. "Do you have a preference pf music?"
    "Not really," Brittany answered in a soft yet polite tone, "I've always
liked heavier stuff. Who's your favorite band?" Brittany could stand her
self-induced uncomfortable silence no more.
    "Well, now that you mention it, I have a lot of favorite bands. Most of
them have been dead for well over a hundred years, but I can't help it. I'm
a sucker for the oldies of heavy metal, you know? Guys like Metallica,
Korn, Disturbed, Dying to Bleed, etcetera."
    "Oh I love Disturbed!" Brittany nearly shouted. "My mom doesn't like me
listening to that stuff, but then again she doesn't understand why I love
paintball so much either. But I would have to say that my all-time favorite
band is the String Metal Septet."
    "Hell yeah, girl!" Roger shouted in agreement. "Those guys fucking
rock!... oh and one girl, excuse me. You want to hear some? I've got all of
their albums."
    "Hell yeah!" Brittany answered, feeling her earlier tension dissolve
away.  Amanda could only smile at her friend's change of attitude. She
could now see why she was so popular with people. Brittany had an aura, a
life-force that immediately found it's way into the hearts of everyone
around her. Amanda noticed that when Brittany was down, so was she, but,
like just now, when Brittany was upbeat and having a good time so was
everyone else.
    Brittany closed her eyes and let the music just flow through her. She
moved her hands with the pitch and tempo of the music as if conducting the
band. Amanda just watched her in amusement as her friend abandoned her
earlier fear and doubt and replaced them with happiness and
contentment. Her face held a certain peace, a kind of joy that flowed from
her and into Amanda's very soul. She watched her friend lip-sync the lyrics
of the female vocalist without a care in the world.
     Brittany opened her eyes to find Amanda smiling back at her. Brittany,
although confused why Amanda was just looking at her smiling, just smiled
back--what else could she do? Music like the kind their listening to always
made her forget about her worries and woes.
    "Do you like this band, Amanda?" Brittany asked, speaking to her for
the first time today.
    "yes," Amanda wrote on the pad she carries everywhere, "people often
tell me I could rival the playing of Tyler Charmon, but I think he's a far
better player than I."
    "Oh, you doubt yourself," Brittany retorted. "I bet you could give him
a good run for his money."
    Amanda laughed a little, "too bad he's much richer than I am."
    This made Brittany giggle a bit. "Come on, you're a great cellist. I
think Tyler would agree."
    "perhaps," Amanda wrote relaxing her expression. She thought for a
moment about what else to talk about. "you know, I've told you a great deal
about me and Sarah. Why don't you tell me something good about you and
Kayla?"
    "I don't think so," Brittany answered, feeling a bit insulted to be
asked that. "Did you see that crazy look in her eye when she looked at me?"
    "no, I was behind her remember?" Amanda answered with a chuckle. "but
the way she spoke of you did prove to me that she has feelings for you"...
    "I hate that bitch!" Brittany said, cutting her off from finishing her
sentence. The sudden scream even startled Roger. "I don't care what
feelings that cunt has for me. I may have loved her, but I don't
anymore. Kayla is fucking crazy! She should have been the one in that
asylum, not you..." Amanda's face immediately changed to hurt. Just then,
Brittany realized that those last words should have stayed in her head.
    "you should wish that on no one, Brittany," Amanda wrote with that sad
and solemn expression on her face. "I don't care how much ill will she may
have caused you, you have no right to say such things."
    "Sorry, I... I... just let it come out. I... I didn't mean to hurt
you..." she stammered over her words, not knowing exactly what to say, not
to mention she was shocked by the troubling look on Amanda's face. Brittany
couldn't argue that point--she read all about what Amanda went through in
that living Hell.
    "We're here," Roger called out to the girls over his shoulder. Brittany
felt her blood run cold through her veins. Her shin ran ragged with
goosebumps. As scared as she might have been, she still had enough strength
in her heart to exit the vehicle.
    The trio of visitors began a slow walk towards the front door of the
main building. Brittany allowed her gaze to drift over her
surroundings. The front lawn as properly manicured and the bushes well
trimmed. There wasn't a blemish to speak of on the building itself and the
people walking around seemed as happy and helpful as one would
expect. Brittany felt herself easing the more she looked around. Her eyes
soon found their way unto Amanda's face. Brittany immediately began
trembling at the sight sight she now beheld. The continence in Amanda's
gaze was that of a blank piece of paper, no color and no life.
    Roger held her for a moment. Gently he brought his baby sister into his
embrace and stoked her hair. Amanda's breathing could barely be felt
against his neck. She had tears running down her cheeks and blood running
out of her head. She's made this same trip at least twice since her release
to see her beloved Sarah, but neither one of those occasions brought her
this close to the end of her rope. Roger looked up to see Brittany taking
Amanda into her own embrace, to which Amanda responded immediately. She
took a hold of Brittany's blouse and would be damned to let go. Still
holding her, Brittany began walking towards the front door once more.
    Just like the courtyard, the main reception room looked perfectly
normal-- nothing like how Amanda described in her diary. In her head,
Brittany kept arguing with herself of how much did Amanda make up out of
grief--or insanity --and how much was truth. The staff all seemed happy
with their content smiles and giddy dispositions. The room was very clean
and orderly, it even carried that "hospital smell" of sterilization. Even
the "inmates" seemed well nourished and healthy. Everyone and everything
was presented in a nice package.
    Brittany, with Amanda still clinging onto her blouse and Roger close in
tow, walked unabashed through the reception room and out into the center
courtyard. What awaited them was a carbon-copy of just moments
earlier. Roger and Brittany kept looking around at the beautiful
bush-sculptors and state-of-the-art buildings. They continued their trek in
their random direction as there were several paved paths leading into
different areas of the facility. No signs were posted to give the guests
any sense of direction, but this group had their own guide.
    "Amanda which way is it to your old room?" Brittany asked in a loving
tone. No one had said a word since they left the car and she knew too loud
a tone would scare the hell out of her. Amanda pulled her face out of
Brittany's shoulder and looked around for a moment. She let go of her
friend's blouse just long enough to point down the far left path and then
return to her death grip. As they started walking down that path, Amanda
buried her face back into Brittany's shoulder as if she at all didn't want
anyone to see her, not the staff and not the inmates.
    They took off down the trail towards what appeared to be a
dormitory. The three of them once again started off in silence, no one
really knowing what to say and Amanda clearly was in no shape to talk
anyway. Brittany had a million questions running through her head and
wanted to hear answers, however, she dared not to ask. She thought that her
dreams and Illitor and Amanda's own conversations provided answers, but
every time she thought she knew all the answers they only led to more
questions.
    Brittany did notice, however, that the closer they got to the
dormitory, the more people started looking at them. At first it was nothing
more than the natural curiosity to look at the people around you, but then
they started staring. People dressed in the inmate's uniforms would stop
dead in their tracks and stare at the three guests. They followed them with
their heads and eyes, not moving any other muscle. Roger's guard
immediately went on alert for his girls. Then it hit him, they hadn't seen
a single guard since they've been here. Brittany's nerves were being tried
as well. One or two people thinking they recognize one of them would have
done nothing, but literally everyone they came across stopped and stared.
    They entered through the large steel door to a welcome sight: a guard
desk with a guard actually sitting behind it. Brittany couldn't help but
giggle about the fact he was actually eating a donut and reading the
newspaper. Amanda, on the other hand, was somewhat less than enthusiastic
about being in this building. They continued on through the foyer to the
directory in the far wall, just right of an opposing set of double
doors. Without anyone speaking her name, Amanda looked at the large sign
and put her finger on the arrow directing them to the third floor.
    "Hey! Excuse me," the guard said suddenly, startling the trio. "Can I
help you with something?"
    "Yes, actually," Roger said in a kind tone, "we're looking for room
368. Can you tell us where that might be?"
    "Third floor," the guard answered sounding a bit annoyed to be thought
of as a speaking road-map. He went back to his donut and paper and let the
guests walk right on through the doors as if it were normal around here to
have strange people nosing around.
    Roger took Brittany by the hand and led the two girls up the
stairs. The winding staircase had been recently cleaned with quite a bit of
care. Brittany looked down and could see herself in the reflection of the
granite stonework. She also happened to notice that Amanda's face was
covered still by her blouse, not to mention the swell of her breasts. They
passed the second floor get-off without noticing the inmates looking at
them still through the slits in the doors.
    Roger led the pair through the door on their floor's get-off. Once
again, there was a small receptionist and guard desk immediately to the
left. He looked back again to his right and saw a long corridor that ended
at a "T" intersection. Without much thought, they started down the hallway
keeping their eyes peeled for Amanda's old room number. The doors that
flanked the hall had the numbers above each with odd numbers on the left
and evens on the right. Armed with the knowledge of which room they were
looking for, they kept their attention to the right side of the hall.
    "Hey. Hey!" called out the receptionist from behind her desk. "Do you
have a visitor's pass? If not, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
The first thought that went through Brittany's mind was the bitchiness of
her mood.
     "We were never given one," Roger tried to explain in a calm manner. He
couldn't help but notice the large scar across her left cheek, but didn't
think too much of it; their in an asylum after all. "No one stopped us in
the main building and the guy downstairs told us to come on up. He never
mentioned a pass."
    "Didn't you read the notice when you arrived?" her tone changed if only
to get more annoyed. "You couldn't miss it."
    "Well lady, apparently we did," Roger said, trying not to lose his
patience with this woman. "Could you lose the attitude and tell us what we
need to get one?"
    "I beg you pardon sir!" she nearly yelled, feeling insulted. Right then
she looked over at Brittany, who she paid no mind till now, as if to turn
her mood on her. Then she stopped--her face went pale. Amanda pulled her
face out from Brittany's caring, but aching, shoulder and looked right at
this woman with all the hatred of the world. This woman felt her blood run
cold; she looked like she had just seen a ghost. "I... I'm sorry. I
di... didn't know you had a g... guide," the woman stammered in
horror. "Ga... Go ahead."
    Brittany looked over at Amanda with even more questions going off in
her head. Roger sighed and retook Brittany's hand. Amanda put her head
against Brittany's shoulder, but kept her eyes looking forward. Brittany
decided once more to keep her questions to herself and just do what they
came here to do.
    It didn't occur to either of them for a while that they could hear
nothing while in the hallway. Through the the slit-windows in the doors,
they could see the inhabitants doing whatever it was they were doing but no
sound exited the room. Brittany glanced over at Roger for a moment to find
that he too found it odd that the rooms were sound proof. She looked over
at Amanda but found that she remained as stoic as ever; all she saw was the
top of her head.
    "So Amanda..." Brittany began, but paused to find the right words
without setting her off. "...you told me to come here so you could explain
a thing." Amanda turned her head up to face the girl but didn't change her
expression. "Care to start explaining?" Brittany somehow managed to keep
her voice as tender as possible, especially by how creeped out she was by
being watched by so many "crazies".
    Amanda stopped dead in her tracks when they got halfway down the
corridor. Roger and Brittany were busy looking for the room, so her abrupt
halt caused them to stammer over their feet. Brittany was about to say
something but a voice in her head told her to keep her mouth shut. She
looked at her friend and saw her staring intently at a spot on the
floor. Amanda took a knee on that spot, a tear trickled down her cheek at
the memory of what happened here. Roger himself soon realized the
importance about the place Amanda held her hand.  Brittany put her hand on
Amanda's trembling shoulder silently letting her know she was there for
her. Amanda placed her hand atop Brittany's and squeezed, turning her cheek
towards the contact. Even the little bitch down the hall, who'd been
watching them this whole time, was weeping, remembering the tragic event
that happened in that spot for she was also cut by Captain Jack.
     After several moments of Amanda beating herself up inside, she stood
up still holding Brittany's hand. Amanda looked over at her friend to see
she wore a knowing smile. This proved that Brittany did indeed speak with
Illitor last night. She put on a smile of her own and took over the lead of
their exploration. Without her so much as looking up, she walked right to
her old room. Amanda turned to her companions as if to gesture them to look
inside. Brittany was the first to do so. She saw the room was unoccupied
and dimly lit, but was in good order--hell, the books on the shelf were in
alphabetical order. The beds were made, the chair was tucked up to the desk
and the small rug in front of the left-side bed looked vacuumed and
ironed. Brittany was shocked by the difference from what she read in
Illitor's pages. She stepped aside to let Roger see it for himself, all the
while she looked at Amanda with yet more questions going through her
mind. Roger shared Brittany's
 questioning look once he stepped away from the window.
    Amanda didn't bother to try and explain anything. She took Brittany by
the hand once more and led her back down the hallway. They paused for a
second at that spot once again. Amanda bent down once again and kissed her
finger tips. She pressed her hand at the baseboard of the wall then stood
back up, taking a deep breath. Brittany looked over her shoulder out of the
sense of someone looking at her. She saw a nude woman pressing herself
against the window and giving Brittany lustful look, licking her lips and
few teeth. This only made Brittany want to vomit, and not only because of
her grotesque appearance. Amanda followed Brittany's gaze and saw the same
image. The woman immediately pulled herself away from the window and
disappeared into the room. She pulled on Brittany's hand and led the three
of them out of the corridor. Roger decided to spare himself the visage
after her saw the disgusted look on the girls' faces.
    "I'm so sorry about earlier. I didn't know you had our Amanda with
you," the receptionist said as the trio walked in front of her station. As
her words left her mouth, something snapped in Roger's head and all of his
pent-up anger and guilt came out.
    "Shut up, cunt!" Roger cried out as his hand found the woman's left
cheek. "That's my baby sister you're talking about and I'd be damned if you
try and claim her."
     The woman said nothing further. She merely retreated back behind her
desk and put her face in her hands. Roger grabbed Amanda's other hand as he
started off towards the doors with great haste. He didn't say a single word
as they made their way down the steps. Brittany was also filled with anger
by that woman's comment, but was more alarmed by Amanda's indifference
about the entire thing. She long thought of herself as property, a
self-described "sex object" and "human punching bag"; she often thought of
herself as little more than a lifeless rag doll. They stormed out of that
dormitory without giving the guard or inmates any mind.
    As they retraced their steps back towards the main building, Amanda let
go of Roger's hand. He didn't notice at all, he had more pressing things on
his mind. The way that woman treated them was enough for him to want to
kill her. Not only was she a discourteous, stuck-up bitch talking to him
like he belonged here, but then have the audacity to call his baby sister
"our Amanda"... his blood was boiling. While all of these thoughts went
through his head, Amanda just smiled. She could spent the next ten years
reminiscing about this place and still leave something out. Brittany, on
the other hand, could only look at her with questioning eyes. No words
could come from her mouth to actually say them, but she knew Amanda didn't
need to hear them.
    Amanda reached up and grabbed her brother's shoulder after giving him a
minute to vent. She knew he needed an outlet for his anger, both back then
and now, so she let him have his time. Roger spun around with a sad look on
his face. His lips were moving, but nothing was coming out; Amanda thought
it odd yet funny that this place could do that to good people so
easily. She nodded her head to the left and they took the path leading to
an open area behind the far north building.  Brittany kept her eyes adrift
to the plethora of strange people walking around and staring at them. While
Roger was going around, ranting and raving about that woman, Brittany
watched as people, inmates and staff, stopped in their tracks to look at
the girl holding her hand--they gave no thought of Roger's ranting since
they see it everyday.
    Brittany tugged on Amanda's hand as she took off down the path in a
hurry. She felt the longer they waited, the more people would question
their presence here and she was already freaked out as it is. The walk to
that clearing was longer than it looked; the building was bigger than it
looked. Even in their hasted pace, it took the visitors about ten minutes
to get in front of the damn thing. Despite being in a hurry, Roger and
Brittany couldn't help but marvel at the magnificent structure. Amanda,
however, took over the initiative of wanting to get to their destination as
quickly as possible; besides, she's seen everything this building has
within it's walls and beneath it's foundation, and those memories she'd
rather not have. Her brother and Brittany followed behind her but kept
looking up at the structure with a wondrous glee in their eyes.
    The three visitors finally made their way to the rear of the
building. Brittany averted her gaze away from the beautiful building to see
what she put away from her mind for the duration of the trip. Roger also
found himself feeling saddened by the visage just a few yards away. Right
in front of them was a wrought iron gateway with the words "Potter Field"
etched into the arch. Brittany felt her heart beating harder but slowing
it's pace. She unconsciously squeezed on Amanda's hand. Roger's face went
pale for a moment as he took in his new surroundings. Of all the
descriptions inscribed on Illitor's pages, this place was the most
accurate. The grass and trees were nowhere near the likes of the plots out
front. The grass stood about knee-high and was about as yellow as possible
without dying. The trees were not the trimmed pieces of art like out front,
but were overgrown and many were without leaves. The headstones were poorly
placed, many looking like a stiff breeze
 would blow them over.
    "Oh my god," Brittany said placing her hand over her mouth. She was so
taken with the sight before her that she barely felt Amanda pulling her
through the gateway and into this cheerless place. Roger was quick to
follow the girls into the cemetery once he realized they already
entered. Not only was this place enormous with countless grave markers and
disheartening to look upon, but the aura of the dead seeped up from their
tombs. The air inside the gate was heavy with grief and despair making
every step harder and harder.
    Brittany and Roger looked around at the random graves in their
immediate surrounding. Most of them had names and dates, but several were
blank pieces of stone. Even Roger found himself saddened by how terribly
these people must have been treated in life, only to be forgotten about in
death. Amanda, who was visibly shaken by this place, just walked without
looking around for even a second. Brittany was looking at one of the graves
when she ran right into Amanda, who stopped when she found the grave she
sought. Brittany looked at her a moment, then down to her feet.
    Standing in a spot that was recently cleared by a mower, was a marker
with the solitary inscribed word "Sarah". No last name, no date of either
birth or death, or even an epitaph, just that one word. Brittany felt a
wash of many emotions flow through her being. Roger looked down at the
stone and immediately fell to his knees. His eyes red with tears and
sorrow.
     Brittany watched as Amanda let go of her hand and sat down next to the
marker. Her lips never moved, but Brittany could feel her talking to her
love. With grief and sorrow in her heart, Amanda wrapped her arms around
the granite slab. She couldn't help but allow her tears to flow. Brittany
could help herself no longer. She too started weeping for this girl whom
she never met. She took her spot behind Amanda and took her into her
embrace. Amanda felt the contact and responded by adjusting so Brittany
could tighten her grasp.
     Brittany put her face into the nape of Amanda's neck, sobbing for her
friend's loss. She closed her eyes, holding onto the one image she ever saw
of Sarah. What she saw in her mind's eye was the two of them in a happier
time, holding each other and laughing. Brittany saw them sitting on a park
bench, Sarah's arm wrapped around her love, just enjoying each other's
company with a care in the world. She watched them growing old
together... then she felt Amanda stir.
    "Sorry, was I squeezing too tight?" Brittany asked as soon as she felt
the movement. She let go to allow her some room to move. Amanda just looked
back at her and shook her head. She grabbed Brittany's hand and returned it
to it's original place. Amanda let go of Sarah's grave and threw herself
against Brittany's chest. Not knowing what else to to, she just held her
there. She looked over at Roger, who was still feeling the grief and guilt
flowing through him, and beckoned for him to join the two of them. He
gathered the girls into his fold as if to give his sister a thousand
apologies for the years he neglected her.
    Many minutes passed before they got around to rising to their feet once
more. Amanda could barely move under her own strength, but Brittany and
Roger held onto either arm, guiding her out of the cemetery She could feel
Sarah in her heart, speaking to her own soul. Amanda felt her body go limp,
Brittany and Roger, however, felt a sudden heaviness in their
arms. Simultaneously the two conscious ones were forced to carry Amanda all
the way back to the car.


    "Amanda, sweetheart, can you hear me?" Sarah's voice came to her. Even
in her unconscious state, she could see her love's face just as clear as
day, and what a continence to behold.
    "Yes, Sarah," Amanda spoke, crying in her dream at the touch of Sarah's
hand against her cheek. Just like her last visit, Sarah followed her out
from her eternal place of rest. "I hear you, darling. I miss you so much."
    "And I you," Sarah said with tears streaming down her face. "I want you
here with me, but..." she hesitated a moment, lost in her own
emotions. "But there is another who needs you now. I have watched her
struggle to understand what our lives were like back then. I've watched her
try to find the answers that have festered in her heart about why she is so
utterly lost. She has barely slept for days in yet everyday she puts
happiness and joy into the people around her. She is a fighter of good will
and seeks only to make the world a better place after she's gone. This
Brittany Williams has captured your heart as well as my own."
    "Yes, I feel that I do love her but I'm confused," Amanda said with a
great deal of effort. "I feel like I'm betraying your memory..." Amanda got
lost in the sea of emotions flowing out of her eyes.
    "No sweetheart," Sarah said with a smile. "I've only ever wanted the
best for you and I still do." Sarah placed her hand on Amanda's breast,
"You must follow what's in here. Don't worry about me. I'm well taken care
of here."

    "Has she said anything?" Roger asked as they were getting onto the
highway. He's been completely flaking out since she went unconscious; his
driving wasn't doing Brittany's nerves any favors either.
    "What do you think?" Brittany said in an annoyed tone. "She doesn't
talk at all, remember?" Roger could feel the tension coming from his back
seat. He knew Brittany was feeling scared and worried, as he was too, but
couldn't find the right words to say.
    "I know, sorry, but is she coming around?"
    "I think so," Brittany said with her attention focused on her
friend. She could feel Amanda moving on her own as she lay in her lap. Her
head would turn side to side, as if in disagreement with something... or
someone. Brittany saw her lips moving, but of course she could hear
nothing; however, it did leave her the hope that she would wake up
soon. She bent over and gave her a hope- filled kiss on the forehead while
she stroked her hair. All was silent for a few minutes, but this only added
to the driver's tension.
    "Damn it girl say something!" Roger almost shouted. Brittany looked at
him, appalled by his sudden outburst; she really didn't know to whom he was
speaking, her or his mute sister. He was nervous, concerned, afraid, in a
word: a mess. "Brittany, please say something to her. Please keep talking,"
he got out through his frustration.
    "What am I supposed to say?" she asked, more to herself than
Roger. "Roger she's moving and moving her lips so just give her a couple
minutes to come around."
    All the response she could get to that was, "I'm so sorry, Amanda..."
over and over again.
    With that, Amanda fluttered her eyes open and looked around. Brittany
gasped a moment, but couldn't find any words. Amanda turned her head,
looking at her new surroundings. She noticed that Sarah's face had faded
away and became the continence of her caretaker. She stirred in Brittany's
lap, brushing her hand against Roger's arm; he near flew off the road at
the contact of his baby sister's fingers. Amanda sat upright and
immediately threw her seat belt over her shoulder making Brittany giggle a
bit.
    "Shit, sorry girls," Roger said after he regained his composure, "you
O.K.?"
    "Yeah," Brittany sighed. Amanda nodded with a scared look on her face.
    "Amanda, how are you feeling?" he asked, looking at her in his mirror,
to which she just shrugged. She took out her pad and began to write on it,
but her hands were shaking so bad the pen was making this feet all but
impossible. Brittany thought it might be from such an emotional day, but
Amanda knew the true cause.
    "Food," Brittany read the note aloud, lifting an eyebrow. As soon as
that one word left her lips she felt her own stomach growl since they
hadn't eaten a single morsel today. Amanda just shrugged and smiled,
turning her head away from her friend.
    "I'm a bit famished myself," Roger said, trying to calm himself from
the elation that just washed over him. They pulled into the nearest
fast-food place to get a quick bite before heading back to Kennview, which
was still another twenty minutes away. No one said a word, but everyone
wanted to. Amanda just ate like an animal that had been starved for weeks,
seemingly oblivious to the tension on her friends' faces--she even stole
some of her brother's and Brittany's fries in her fury.
    They got back on the road shortly thereafter. All was still silent
amongst the travelers as the hour grew late. Brittany looked out of her
window to see the late summer sky begin to give-way unto the evening. The
sun was sinking in the western sky, making their faces glow with the orange
tint of the night's beckoning. Brittany struggled to find the answers to
her most recent questions inside herself; she didn't want to be the one to
break the silence. Roger kept beating himself up inside as they neared
their hometown, but Amanda just sat back and listened to her wife's words
echo in her brain.
    "How are you feeling?" Brittany asked, unaware of the fact words left
her lips. Her eyes widened as soon as she realized that she'd spoken.
    Amanda turned her attention back to her friend. Brittany still had her
attention focused out of her window but Amanda could hear the genuine
concern in her voice. She leaned over and placed her head back onto
Brittany's lap as if to tell her that all she needed was a little love.
Brittany's let out a small gasp as Amanda suddenly laid her head into her
lap. She unconsciously began stroking her hair and in a short few minutes,
and for the second time today, Amanda was out like a light while lying on
her friend's legs. Brittany felt a sudden sense of contentment wash over
her soul at the thought of this becoming a regular occurrence.