Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 15:30:55 -0700
From: Rachel P
Subject: What Might Have Been
What Might Have Been
By Rachael P.
September 14, 2004
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IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, PLEASE VISIT WWW.DISNEY.COM
** THIS IS ADULT CONTENT ONLY **
DISCLAIMER
This is a work of fiction. By no means do the names represent any persons
alive or dead.
I, the author, hearby grant complete access to any person to read, modify
or sumbit this to any group or site they desire. This was written in the
spirit of creativity and I only wish to keep it that way. - Rachael P.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No virtual people, plants, animals, cars, pictures or mute buttons were hurt
during the making of this script. In fact, not even a hangnail was hurt.
Ok, on to the show!
===============================================================================
Part 1: Side-effects
Why drugs are unsafe but we take them anyway...
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How could I have known the effects? I read the instructions and was
promised eight inches of man-meat. Yes, it said there were side-effects
but nothing specific was listed. Given the area and the related hormones,
I figured acme would be the worst side-effect. I've tried many of the
other "fixes" and they helped, but barely and only for a short time.
You see, I was born with a penis that was barely larger than my pinky
finger. So the prospect of having a real woman-pleaser was more than a
dream-come-true! Already I had married once and within a year had divorced
because I couldn't please my wife.
After hearing of Rednega Hydrochloride I faced the arduous task of finding
a company whom would sell me the drug. All the reputable companies scoffed
when I mentioned its name. The less-reputable companies, well they didn't
even know what it was! Then I hit the jackpot. It required a trip to the
South Pacific and a great deal of money, but I found it! That opportunity
presented itself over a year ago. I jumped on it, drained my savings and
purchased the potion. As I had heard in many online stories, I dumped the
contents into perfume bottles and shipped them home.
April 20, 2004
------------------------------
It arrived today! My savior in a bottle! I really hope this stuff lives
up to its promises. But then, I suppose I don't have much to loose,
looking down.
I couldn't help myself. Just like candy, I had to take a double-dose. If
I'm in, I'm in with both feet!
May 15, 2004
------------------------------
I noticed the first side-effect today. I must say I'm happy with the
results thus far. But I noticed that my nose and jaw are smaller. I've
always had a wide nose and strong, square jaw. Now my nose appears
smaller, thinner and my jaw seems less-defined. I like the effect. It
made me look younger. But I hope they don't change much more!
June 6, 2004
------------------------------
I can hold my limp penis in my hand! Now there's something new! I've
always had to coerce it out before I could hold it.
I started to notice the next change: my feet are smaller. It scared the
piss out of me this morning because it happened so fast. Literally in one
night my feet changed from size ten in men's shoes to size seven in
_Women's_ shoes! Wow!
Of course I only know this because my ex-wife wore size seven shoes and,
for a lack of anything that fits, I tried on an old pair of hers. I didn't
wear them long though. I don't go that way, if you catch my drift. But I
was curious and sure enough they fit. I'll scrounge around and see if I
can find a pair of her tennis shoes. I may have to bite the bullet and go
buy a pair.
July 4, 2004
------------------------------
I've really lost a lot of weight since my last journal entry. Initially I
attributed it to eating better and actually going to the gym two or three
times a week. It was great at first but now it's getting to be more than
expected or desired. In the past weeks I've dropped from 250 pounds and a
42 inch waist to 150 pounds and a 30 inch waist.
I suppose not much else has changed. I still live alone. I still have a
work- at-home job that barely pays the bills. I'm still taking the potion
religiously. Overall, life is good. Oh, sure, it could be better, but
then it could get a lot worse, too.
August 4, 2004
------------------------------
Strange. I don't remember my cheek bones protruding that much. It must be
something to do with my jaw being thinner. I'll grant you I'm not going to
poke out any eyes, but I'd swear my cheek bones are more noticeable.
Something else: my shirts seem to be too big across the shoulder. Since my
shirts haven't changed, I can only surmise that my shoulders have somehow
gotten smaller. Is that even possible? On the other hand, is it possible
for
shirts to grow when you wash them?
August 20, 2004
------------------------------
Today marks my fourth month since I started taking the potion daily. I've
really started noticing those side effects but they're nothing like what I
expected.
Now I stand here with the latest noticeable change. I can't say when it
started. I only noticed it when I walked out of the shower naked and saw
my reflection in the closet mirror. My legs are hairless; my arms are
hairless; my chest is hairless. With the smaller waistline, smaller
shoulders, thinner nose and protruding cheeks, I look almost... well, I'm
starting to look like a woman!
That view in the mirror scared me. Tonight marks the last dose of the
potion. Yes, there is still quite a bit more to take but these changes are
too much. I only wanted a larger penis, not a woman's body to go with it.
Is that why this stuff is illegal in most countries?
Anyway, I'm out to six inches soft so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead.
It would be good to get up in the morning and still see myself. I fear
that if I continue taking the potion I'll wake up and find myself trapped
in a woman's body with a penis running the show.
August 22, 2004
------------------------------
Well, as promised I didn't take the potion last night. Hopefully some of
the changes I see in the mirror will fade. With luck I'll be myself with a
bigger penis. My, oh, my - the things we do for satisfaction.
August 27, 2004
------------------------------
Maybe I should go back on it? I woke this morning and inspected myself for
changes. I found a few more changes and collapsed on the floor in tears.
As you can imagine, the changes were not what I expected and very much not
in the right direction!
My body still looks a bit feminine: slim waist, hairless, delicate facial
features and protruding cheek bones, but now I'm showing a puffy tenderness
under my nipples. In short, I'm growing breasts!
Even worse, I measured my penis and found it shorter than a few days ago!
Ok, it wasn't inches shorter, but any shrinking is too much! Now what do I
do? I think I better get back on the potion, don't you? If all I get to
keep is my penis, is that better than nothing at all? But then, if I'm
destined to become a woman, do I want a penis?
Oh what a tangled web we weave. I don't recall the side-effects being so
great; maybe this feminine thing is just a phase. I'm going to continue the
potion.
September 1, 2004
------------------------------
That helped, I think. My body seems to have stabilized. Nothing seems to
have grown or shrunk in the past few days. I'll keep you updated.
I rounded a corner earlier and brushed my left "breast" against the corner
of a doorway. When my nipple ran across the corner I jumped in pain. Man!
Are they tender! Do women have to worry about that, too? It's like having
two giant balls (the penis kind) attached to my chest! Hit them wrong and
you'll feel it!
September 17, 2004
------------------------------
It's another freaky Friday. I discovered another change in myself. I'm
guessing it's been going on for some days but has been just too subtle for
me to notice. When I measured myself this morning, I found my chest and
waist were about three inches smaller but my bust is now an inch Bigger!
My boobs are four inches bigger around than a few weeks ago! My shoulders
are now thin feminine wisps of the bulk they used to be.
It was when I measured my height that I got the real shock. I've shrunk
over three inches! I now stand 5 feet 7 inches tall! So much for
stability.
It's later in the day and I realized that I didn't measure my penis length
earlier. I'm happy to say that it hasn't changed size. There is something
odd about my scrotum, though. It looks like it's shrunk and pulled just a
little tighter down the center. The effect has created a "V" shape
indentation from my penis back to my groin. I'm really hoping that isn't
what I think it is.
September 18, 2004
------------------------------
Is it alright to cry? I feel like a lost little girl. That puffiness in
my breasts is getting worse. I don't have huge boobs, but there's
something there to grab and my nipples are more sensitive than my penis!
And when did I start referring to myself in the feminine? If I don't think
about it, I think of myself as a girl, but I know better. Don't I? The
up- side is that I discovered the pleasures of playing with my nipples!
Ooh la la! After thirty minutes and a hundred climaxes later (not
literally, but it felt like a hundred!) I climaxed higher than I ever
imagined, shot a load of cum and passed out. And I never touched my penis!
Here I am, looking every bit like a woman except between my legs; and,
looking at that now, I can see that "V" has deepened just a bit, driving my
balls up tight against my body. It's a little uncomfortable but easily
ignored.
I also discovered nylons pantyhose today. Wow! I felt quite the rush
pulling them up my legs! And the way they hug every inch of skin is
actually exciting. Most of all, I love how they make my legs look polished
and perfect!
Wow! I must be turning female! I'm playing with pantyhose and enjoying
it! What's next makeup? Hmmm? I guess It's a good thing I kept all that
"shit" my ex-wife left behind. I have enough stuff to play with for a few
weeks, even makeup.
September 24, 2004
------------------------------
Last night was my last dose. The potion is officially finished to the last
drop. I even licked the jar clean.
Over the past week I've been experimenting and found I love women's
clothes. I love how everything is form-fitting. By showing just what I
want, I can draw attention to my chest or my legs. I can look "sluttish"
or "civilized". I can become Miss Prim-and-proper and with a few strokes
here, a puff there and I'm ready for a night out on the town.
Mind you, I know I'm not using this makeup correctly. I've started reading
women's magazines and am learning about hair and nails and makeup. I have
much to learn.
But why am I doing this? I'm scared silly to walk out my front door, even
dressed as the male me! Especially dressed as me. I look far too feminine
to be mistaken as a guy these days! I suppose I won't have a choice soon.
The refrigerator and cabinets are getting awfully empty.
There have been times when I wondered what my life would have been like had
I been born a girl. How differently would I have been treated? What would
my life be like now? I know, rhetorical questions... I can't know that.
However, I was thinking back to events in my childhood last night when I
realized that I was remembering things as if I were a girl. I remember my
first date and first kiss as a girl. I remember having slumber parties
with the girl next door. I remember wearing this beautiful gown at Senior
Prom; but I didn't GO to prom! And yet, I had a wonderful time. There was
one boy in particular who made me feel all warm and protected and helpless.
I melted into his embrace.
Wow! Just thinking about events that didn't happen can turn me on!
September 26, 2004
------------------------------
I slept all day yesterday, afraid to get out of bed, afraid to see the
changes still warping my body, afraid of what I am becoming. But I can't
hide forever.
It's happening! My penis is smaller! My balls seem stuck inside me
because my scrotum is too small. The "V" has effectively cut my scrotum in
half! In fact, the "V" has deepened enough that it has split and is
starting to extend around my shrinking penis.
I haven't wanted to admit this; but, my fantasies have changed as well. I
no longer see myself pumping some gorgeous babe. It started as just a
phantom dick; something sliding into my non-existent vagina back when I
started calling myself a girl. Last night, after watching TV for too long
then fondling myself, I fantasized that a good-looking actor from the last
show walked in and started giving me a reason to moan. Boy-oh-boy did I
ever climax hard after that!
I wonder if women actually feel what I've been feeling. I wonder if I'll
ever get to find out. Looking at me, I think the answers are Yes and Yes.
September 30, 2004
------------------------------
My breasts are really going gang-busters. Where a few weeks ago I had
bumps, now I can wear a bra. I don't _need_ to wear a bra, but I should.
And that fold of skin has completely encircled my penis.
Oh, my poor penis. It's only three inches long and never gets hard. When
I climaxed last night, all that emerged were a few drops of clear liquid!
My prostate must be tiny and I appear to no longer be producing sperm. I
can still feel my balls if I push in the right spots, but those spots keep
moving. Yes, I think they're becoming ovaries.
October 3, 2004
------------------------------
I did it. I dressed as my wife (blouse and slacks) and drove to the store
for groceries. I felt like every person could "read" me. It was terrible,
but I managed to get home without as much as a comment. The grocery clerk
called me "miss" but how could I fault him for that? I was dressed; I AM
dressed as a woman. I got another surprise today. Being alone has
disadvantages. When the clerk said hello, I instinctively responded hello
back in my normal voice. I must have looked surprised because the clerk
didn't say anything else except a thank-you and asked if I needed help out.
I shook my head no, afraid to speak. Even if I did need help, I wasn't
going to ask.
Anyway, about that surprise: when I said "hello", my normal voice came out
distinctly feminine. I suppose I should stop being surprised. My destiny
is clear. But I have to hold on to some shred of hope that everything will
return to normal.
I even sit down to pee. I have to because my penis is now only two inches
long and the size of my pinky finger, my new, thinner pinky finger. Gee,
why does that sound familiar? Worse, it doesn't get hard and is only 2
inches when I pull it out as far as it'll go. Most of the time it stays
tucked up into my groin.
At least I don't have to tuck my penis up _under_ my groin when I wear
panties. I can leave it be in a tight skirt and there's no visible bulge.
Sadly, there isn't even a bulge when I'm very aroused. And worst of all, I
find men attractive!
September 29, 2004
------------------------------
I got up the nerve to go to the movies in a dress. I put on a bra,
panties, hose, slip and yellow sun-flower dress. I applied just a little
makeup and teased my hair with hairspray. My fingernails and toenails are
already painted so I slipped on a pair of strappy two-inch heals and headed
out. I felt odd not having a purse, but my large wallet passed alright. I
just had to keep a hand on it at all times because the dress doesn't have
pockets. So that's why women have purses.
After the movie, and being in a mall, I shopped around a bit and found the
most beautiful purse. Of course I had to get an outfit to go with the
purse, but I'm not done changing. I also didn't know my own measurements!
When I got back I stripped and measured myself again. 36-28-38 with B-cup
breasts and a one-inch dick that now points straight down. When I pee, I
feel the spray hitting my penis. That means I have a urethra and It's no
longer attached to my penis.
The "V" fold ran down my groin last night and my scrotum flattened out to
become tight flaps of skin -- my labia. I felt around and couldn't find a
vagina yet, but I know one is coming. At least, if I loose my manhood, I
_hope_ one is coming!
October 1, 2004
------------------------------
It is done. My penis finished shrinking down and this morning I have a
clitoris. My breasts are (I hope) finished growing at a 36 C-cup and I
look stunning in the proverbial little black dress with black hose and
black bra and black pumps. And my black purse completes the outfit.
You didn't think that once I figured out my measurements that I wouldn't
run out and buy at least one outfit, did you? Actually, I have lots of
blouses, skirts and dresses. I have pantyhose in colors to compliment
every outfit and my shoe collection is already eight pairs strong. I just
can't seem to find enough shoes!
So what are my measurements you ask? I'm proud to say I'm 5 foot 6, 125
pounds, 36C-28-38.
October 7, 2004
------------------------------
I found a spot of blood in my panties today. That could mean only one
thing: Mom, Dad, you have a daughter. But don't be discouraged. Your new
daughter can have children of her own.
Oh, lord! I can get pregnant!
December 25, 2004
------------------------------
Rick and I made love for the first time. Oh, sure we've had sex a few
times, but last night he proposed to me. I was so flustered I almost
forgot to say YES!
What a day! And love-making with a man who can please you goes far beyond
the pitiable orgasm my male self ever imagined. Rick drove me to orgasm
after orgasm. And when he blew his load in me, it set my blood to fire. I
love him so much!
December 27, 2004
------------------------------
We're getting married on November 12, 2005. I spent the day with a few
girl- friends going over wedding magazines. I have to find the perfect
dress!
I think my dress will be a long white (I am a virgin after all) strapless
satin dress with sheer sleeves and sheer white veil that flows down my back
and becomes part of the dress. Of course, I'll be wearing off-white hose
with white garter belt and white strappy open-toe two-inch heals. It'll be
wonderful!
August 16, 2005
------------------------------
Richard James Pritt, Jr. was born at 2:32am this morning, nearly two weeks
early. During labor I wanted to grab Rick's... well, you know how it goes.
August 26, 2005
------------------------------
Our wedding date is so close! Little Richie has been feeding off my ample
breasts. The first time he bit me it hurt like hell but quickly turned
into an orgasm. Since then his suckling drives me to distraction, often
bringing me to a shuddering climax. If I go very long without his help, I
start to feel really bloated and tender and once he's finished I feel much
relieved.
November 13, 2005
------------------------------
Our honeymoon was delayed a few hours because of Richy Jr. He's still
feeding, though I've been weaning him. Anyway, we're going to Hawaii for a
week!
With Love,
Becky
===============================================================================
Part 2: Udder Nonsense:
Having fun with the continuation...
===============================================================================
March 19, 2006
------------------------------
I woke up this morning throwing up. Considering the time-of-month and how
pleasured Rick left me last night, it's likely only one thing: Richie
Jr. is going to have a little brother. Or maybe a little sister!
March 26, 2006
------------------------------
Yup! The pregnancy test shows and absolute positive. Something odd,
though. I noticed that I have six red bumps on my stomach. Having gone
through this with Richie, I assume it's just my hormones creating pimples.
But these are all evenly spaced, three on either side of my naval.
Just my luck Rich Sr. and Jr. started vacation in Tahiti yesterday. They
won't be back until April 8. I called and left a message, but didn't say
anything to Rick. I want to see his face first before spilling the beans.
After all, I'm supposed to join them on April 2.
March 27, 2006
------------------------------
Something is very wrong. I can't stand up straight, I can't bring my arms
over my head and those bumps on my stomach are bigger! I seem to have a
hard time concentrating and I eat all the time.
March 28, 2006
------------------------------
I seem to have sprouted short, course hair all over my body. I'm scared
silly! I don't know what to do. I tried calling Rick but I can't remember
the number. The six bumps on my belly have really gotten large and my
belly is huge! And yet my boobs have collapsed. I can barely see them.
I made a transition once to womanhood. I thought it would stop there, but
obviously not! The question is: what AM I becoming?
March 29, 2006
------------------------------
I have hard time typing. My fingers, toes all stuck together. My nails
are growing like mad. I can't stand up. My arms be longer. I walk on all
fours. Sad. I cry a lot.
When I walk, my stomach sways back and forth. Six nipples are huge. Body
seems bigger to compensate.
March 30, 2006
------------------------------
Moo
April 3, 2006
------------------------------
This is Rich Sr. I leave this in memory of my dearest Rebecca.
We returned today when we couldn't find her. The police reported a farm
animal on the premises but no Rachael. A search-and-rescue team is on the
case.
When we opened the door, a cow charged out and collapsed on the front lawn.
We have no idea where it came from, but it appeared to be very pregnant. I
thought I saw something in the poor beast's eyes.
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Part 3: The Bottle
Does anyone read the contents or warning lables?
===============================================================================
>From the cover of the original bottle:
Warning: Please ensure you continue taking every drop without fail. Side-
effects are generally mild and may include nausea, nose bleeds, excessive
sweating and cramps. Once complete, avoid any dairy products for many
years as this product will stay in the blood stream for several years to
complete its work. Unexpected changes may occur if the potion is mixed
with some animal products such as milk.
===============================================================================
Author's Notes
Something to think about...
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If you feel that you should inhabit the body of the opposite sex, PLEASE
don't wait to seek professional help!
Go find a professional. If he won't help or can't help, ask for a
reference. Consider the first few appointments an interview. This is your
life. You interview them. If they are rude or try to convince you of
something your heart doesn't believe, then seek another professional.
This is your life. You only get to live it once.
Most transgendered people don't transition until far too late in life.
Why? Fear. I fear loosing my job and not being able to find another one.
I fear loosing family members whom don't understand my unique "gift." I
fear walking down the street, proud to be in women's clothes and being
"read" as a man by every passer-by.
Want to know which fear is founded? None. My fears control me and I hate
it. I started to do something about it and have now fallen back into my
fears. Yes, I have new and wonderful developments in my life, but I also
know that every day I slip puts me that much farther from becoming the
woman I was meant to be.
And if I had followed my heart when I was a teenager, I would be very
different today. I'm not caught-up in the delusion that I'd be a happy,
fulfilled woman, but I would be a woman! Don't make my mistake!
The best piece of advice my father gave me was:
"When you do something, do it right.
That way you won't have to come back and do it again."
Cheers!
"Racheal"