Date: Sat, 3 Mar 2001 22:03:41 -0000
From: Beverly Taff
Subject: Spacetran 3

We started to dematerialise out of hypertime in front of a spectacular
rainbow coloured disc that left me gasping in wonder.  'No wonder' she had
been attracted to it.  It looked for the entire world like some immense
'Catherine Wheel' frozen in space.  I took my familiar seat on the cockpit
divan and watched as the circle stopped shimmering and slowly evolved into
the vaguely foggy but just identifiable arms of a galaxy.  The arms slowly
started to turn.

"That's just us rotating to align the warp."  She reported reassuringly.
"We could arrive upside- down and inside-out otherwise."

	"Does that matter then?"  I wondered.

	"Yes.  If we dematerialise with the wrong polarity we could end up
as antimatter.  I won't try to explain but I'm sure you understand the
consequences."

I shuddered nervously.  'There was a hell of a lot more to this time
warping than met the eye!'  I watched her operate the crude aluminium
controls and realised how completely I was in her tiny hands. I felt a
sudden nauseous giddiness and bumped my nose against the window as the
Galaxy suddenly hardened into sharp focus. The warp change had corrected
the light shift and each arm was a distinct colour exactly as she had
described it.

	"We'll go interstellar now.  The individual stars will start to
streak past.  Don't be frightened, we'll exceed light speed and we won't
have a solid composition in the conventional sense.  If anything gets in
our way we just go through it like quarks through ordinary matter.  We only
have to take care once we arrive at the exact star system.  We'll emerge
from hyperspace outside the farthest orbit of the planets and manoeuvre in
like any ordinary docking ship.  It doesn't take long in this system
because there's no random debris and the comets are all well documented.
We can still travel pretty close to light speed."

Her words proved true and we finally arrived close to a beautiful planet
with three tiny moons.  As I stared myopically, a group of tiny dots
expanded to reveal themselves as spacecraft.

	"Our reception committee."  She said.  "Come on.  Time to space
walk.  The big blue one is an ambassadorial craft.  They always accord me
special diplomatic status."

	After donning our suites we were whisked by some sort of tractor
beam to the huge craft and entered it like ants entering a church.  It
dwarfed The Cold Albatross which remained untouched in stasis as two
powerful looking escort craft took up obvious patrol duty beside her.  As
we approached the airlock I asked her about it.

	"They treat her as a shrine.  It's always a tremendous honour for
any of them to go aboard her so the escorts protect her integrity while I'm
away.  They know all about my neurosis and my obsessions with privacy so
they respect me for that because I gave them anti-grav and interplanetary
drive."

"Are you treated like a God then?"

	"Oh gosh no!  They're far more advanced than that.  They know all
about my problems with transvestism and they helped me alter my body.  It's
nearly all female now except for what's between my legs.  Even my brain's
half female now.  They're brilliant doctors.  Just think where humans would
be medically if they had reached interplanetary anti-grav drive. These
people are incredibly compassionate. Hey-up we're here."

I braced myself for my first alien encounter and a hot thrill of
anticipation coursed through my veins.  I was not disappointed and eagerly
removed my helmet as she embraced an obviously old friend.  Introductions
were completed with no formality and we were invited to dine as the craft
prepared to leave for an inner planet.

"Were we expected then."  I asked her.

	"Yes.  I regularly visit.  I bring them new artefacts each time.
They look forward to my visits.  Look, there's a container coming across
from Cold Albatross.  It's got all sorts of stuff and they'll do what they
will with it. I enjoy unparalleled hospitality in return."

"Is there nothing else, no hidden agenda?"  I asked.

	"There goes your human suspicious mind again.  Just go with the
flow for God's sake."

	Our host who gave me an explanation of customs and habits to avoid
any embarrassment.  We were to be taken to the main diplomatic compound and
given an apartment each.  After a formal welcome we had a free run of the
planets.  I decided to stay close to my friend.  Our host turned again to
my companion and smiled.

	"So Beverly, how long will you stay this time?"

	It was the first time I had heard her name and I raised my eyebrows
in surprise.  She smiled self-consciously and replied first to her friend.

	"I'm not sure Thlom, I think my friend Ruby will want to see as
much as possible.  And in answer to your raised eyebrow about my name Ruby;
I live like a woman now, it's what I want."

	"So why haven't you gone the whole hog?  I asked.  "The full
sex-change?"

	"I want to keep my penis.  He's an important source of pleasure.
I'm a transvestite not a transsexual.  I don't expect you to understand.
The doctors didn't when I was a child.

They said I was mentally sick. One silly bugger even recommended a sex
change when I was all fouled up and hadn't got a clue where I was going.

Then another psychiatrist tried to alter my sexuality with Electro-shock
therapy.  That was torture.  All this when I was only bloody ten.  They can
do anything they like to you when you're in care- and they do."

She finished softly.

"Does Thlom know the whole story?"

"Of course I do Ruby."  Interrupted our host.  "From our amphibian
perspective it's hard to understand how important your mammalian sexual
dimorphism is to you.  You'll have no doubt noticed that there is little
difference in the appearance of our primary sexual organs.

Strangely our secondary features are more important socially.  The little
frill you see on the backs of men's necks is a good example.  It's a
rudimentary feature harking back to our primordial origins.  I'm quite old
now and fairly inactive but amongst our young men you'll notice the
adornment of the frill is an important factor in sexual selection.  It's
considered very promiscuous for young ladies to touch it in public unless
they have been mated."

	"Beverly tells me that's a very rare event these days."  I observed
boldly.

	"Unfortunately yes.  Our planet's overcrowded.  The selected few
are very highly honoured.  Once the girls are selected they have the pick
of the whole male population."

	"How are they selected."

	"They undergo a series of examinations.  Health checks, beauty
contests, and of course a rigorous series of academic exams.  We can't
afford to leave much to chance but we also have a lottery each year so that
a few can win a wild card.  Genetics is nothing if not a lottery.  We try
to be as fair as possible."

	"It seems hard for the losers."  I observed.

	"It's desperately hard and we can't seem to find a way around it."

	"It's pity you don't have the same reproductive processes as
mammals."

	"In that?"  Queried Thlom.

	"You know.  Each mother having only a few babies."

	"Believe me we've looked at it, especially after Beverly turned up
from the great beyond.  When she described how you mammals reproduced, our
women's hearts ached.  They would give anything just to experience that
primordial right to be a mother."

	We had come to a large square and thousands had arrived just to
catch a glimpse of us.

The news had long preceded our arrival and I was a little nervous about
entering the throng.

Beverly showed no reservations and promptly joined the heaving mass.  As
she disappeared into the milling throng I was reminded of a football crowd.
I only caught up with her again at the diplomatic compound.  In the interim
I explored what turned out to be a bustling market and was surprised to
find that the crowds were exceptionally well ordered.  Thlom later told me
it was an inherent trait born of necessity through the overcrowding.  They
had got the population stable but reducing it was proving extraordinarily
painful.

	Back at the compound Beverly and I chatted about our experiences.

	"It's terribly crowded."

	"This is nothing.  We're in the capital were there's open spaces
and planned parks.  In some of the provincial cities there's terrible
squalor.  The overcrowding is bloody nigh fatal."

"Well why don't they reduce the number of girls selected.  I argued."

	"They need a minimum genetic pool to prevent inbreeding.  It's
already dangerously close to the extinction factor as it is.

In fact some of their geneticists reckon they've already gone too far and
weakened the gene pool fatally.  There's a huge political row about it as
we speak.  You see a girl's eggs are all genetically identical so the scope
for genetic diversification is limited when you apply population control."

"So why don't they only preserve a few eggs from each girl then more girls
can breed and there would be greater genetic diversification."

"That's infanticide Ruby.  It's one of their biggest ongoing arguments at
the moment."

	"So what.  If it's survival of the species then eugenic need's must
when the devil drives."

Beverly fell silent for a moment before speaking softly.

	"If that had been allowed on Earth Ruby, I'd not be here now.
Transvestites and gays are the very stuff of genetic rejection and
homophobia.  My foetus would be rotting in some hospital waste bin or
worse, -I'd be disposed of as six-year-old once they discovered what I
was."

"Oh that's not fair Beverly.  I said nothing about killing children."

	"It's a thin line Ruby, believe me it's a very thin line.  I was
destined to be disposed of in a snuff movie.  The moral question had
already been circumvented and rationalised.  I was transvestite scum
remember?  I still am, in fact; and some still say I'm not fit to live
amongst ordinary decent people."

	I fell silent with embarrassment after realising I had jumped in
with both clod-hopping feet.  Beverly stumbled from my apartment
tight-lipped and I noticed the beginnings of a tear in her eye.  I could
have bitten my stupid tongue off.

	The following morning I couldn't find her, she had left for some
private destination with Thlom.  It was obvious that she felt bitterly hurt
and decided to snub me.  I also sensed a mood of censure amongst the
aliens. I left the compound and found myself at the local university.
There I fell in with a professor of biology for that was my major at
college.  We chatted all morning about comparative anatomy.  He also dwelt
at length about the miracle that Beverly had wrought when she gave them
interplanetary drive.  Apparently they had been on the verge of a
full-scale civil war over the overcrowding question.  Now the other
suitable planets of their star system were being steadily colonised
although there were still vast problems to overcome.  He also related their
species biological history and how they had become the dominant species
after the demise of a predatory race that had weakened itself through war.

 	The amphibians had managed to overcome them and take over the
planet.  From being the prey they had become the victors and consequently
overrun the planet.  They had evolved from herbivorous amphibians and never
been aggressive.  The breeding impulse however had always been strong and
that was how they had survived the predators. Once the predators had
exterminated themselves however, the overcrowding die had been cast.

"This was all thousands of earth years ago Ruby."  He finished.  "Now we
find ourselves to be our own worst enemies."

"So how would you suggest you solve it.  Why don't you take up Beverly's
offer and use interstellar drive so that you can cross to other star
systems in your own galaxy?"

	"It's no good.  She said that just about every planet that could
evolve life had already seemed to have done so.  We doubted her word so
after we helped her rebuild her ship she took some of our scientists to
visit hundreds of random star systems in our galaxy and she was right.  We
felt quite guilty at having doubted her.  Life it seems is a pretty
persistent force.  In several systems the expedition was attacked but
Beverly had become super-cautious and the expedition always managed to
escape.  We're not a warlike race so we would never countenance attacking
another race.  Apparently she had once been captured somewhere out near the
edge of the universe and she only just managed to escape.  That craft of
hers is a remarkable device, it's just about the most advanced thing in the
universe. You should have seen the ramshackle old crate when she first
arrived.  We helped her build a new hull and make the interior more
comfortable but the essential design and drives haven't changed a bit since
she built it.  The physics museum has got the original aluminium and
plywood control consoles.  It's one of their most revered technical icons.
You wouldn't believe how crude the craft was when she first arrived.  It
even leaked air into space.  When she dematerialised the first time the
warp fabric detonated because of the pollution from the leaked air.  We
recorded the explosion on our planet and it dematerialised over a light
year away.  Just imagine the energy to do that.  D'you want to see it?"

	I nodded enthusiastically.  When Beverly had told me she had built
it in a barn I had found it hard to believe.  Now I was about to see the
truth, the original raw crude handiwork she had actually assembled with her
own single hand.  The professor contacted his colleague in the physics
department and we crossed the campus to an imposing building.  In the main
hall I found the physics professor reverently opening the protective glass
case and I realised I was getting the special treatment.  Dozens of
students had immediately gathered to watch such an auspicious event.

	What I saw made my heart reach out to Beverly.  The console was
indeed crude.  The crudely buckled aluminium sheet even showed 'vice
compression marks' where her clumsy efforts had betrayed her
single-handedness.  None of the saw cuts had been filed smooth and the
thing even showed blood stains where she must have cut herself countless
times.  Dozens of dials without glass showed incomprehensible readings that
must have measured even more incomprehensible forces and I caught the
Physics professor fingering the panel reverently.  Behind the panel lay a
myriad tiny wires obviously pilfered or scrounged from a thousand easily
identifiable earthly sources, micro chips, mother boards, domestic wiring,
telephone wires, car dashboard yokes, and God alone knew what else.

The whole sad ambit of her earthly childhood terror and genius seemed bound
up in the crude spaghetti behind that simple panel.  I felt a lump form in
my throat and turned away unable to countenance the years of toil and tears
that must have gone into the whole craft.

'How in God's name had she managed to pay for the materials?'  I wondered.
Then with a sickening certainty I realised.  She had been prostituted out
as an under aged male homosexual.  'No wonder she seemed to have a love
affair with The Cold Albatross'.  It was her all.  The physics professor
sensed my emotion and eyed me up and down as he spoke.

	"This really belongs on your planet you know but Beverly would have
none of it."

	"I'm not surprised.  Did you help her rebuild it."

	"Yes.  We couldn't do enough for her.  Once we had established a
spaceship industry on this home planet, we helped her to build a new hull,
and a completely new interior.  All she had to do was re-install her secret
drives and the old controls."

   	I remembered the crude aluminium rods in the control console
sticking up like weeds in a flowerbed. Obviously the controls and the drive
were inextricably connected. Like a brain and it's spinal chord. The
physics professor continued so I shut up and listened.  After all I was
here to learn.

"The rebuild was a much bigger task and she found it impossible with her
single limb so our medics made her a new hand.  She was so grateful it was
pathetic but it was really the least we could do."

	"Where's the old hull?"  I asked.

	"In the engineering block.  If you think the controls are crude
just go and see the hull.  It's little more than a metal coffin.  When our
first year students see it they can't believe it crossed the universe
countless times before finally coming to us.  She's a very brave girl.  She
used to have to carry oxygen bottles on her back and wear a space suite if
the pressure dropped too low due to leaky welds.  The old suite is in the
hull as well.  We designed her some new suites."

	We took a shuttle to another campus and I had to gape in disbelief
at the battered craft that was perched on the plinth in the main hall.  It
was obvious that the front cockpit section was little more than a few oil
drums welded together whilst the rear living space was obviously the
container from some garbage truck.  Some cut off spokes stuck out radially
and the engineering professor told me it was were the amalgam spiral ring
had been attached.  The physics professor expanded the story a little.

	"The composition of that amalgam is the crux of the craft's
secrets.  That's what gives her space warp and time travel.  The whole ring
is now contained in a protective casing on her new craft"

	"So this is the real Cold Albatross.  Mark one as it were?"  I
whispered reverently.

	"The very one.  This is our greatest treasure and when alien
species finally meet across the galaxies this will be our finest
contribution to the history of space travel.  She is the very first time
traveller."

	I felt a deep pang of jealousy for their having such a historical
artefact then I felt the guilt.  Here, but for our prejudices, cruelty and
hypocrisy, was the past, present, and future birthright of humanity.  I had
no right to grumble though.  It was entirely Beverly's right.  She
obviously loved these people and I had to admit I had found them
enchanting.  My first and probably only encounter with an alien species had
proved a charming and friendly occasion.

	Much chastened I returned to the diplomatic compound to find
Beverly enjoying a hastily thrown spontaneous party.  Thlom was performing
some particularly stupid antics and it was obvious that everybody was very
drunk.  I wasn't in the mood for levity so a slunk back to my apartment.
Later that night, as I sat brooding in my armchair, Beverly staggered past
my open door and hesitated unsteadily.

	"Hi.  H- h- ha-ad a good day?"  She gurgled.

	"An informative one.  I saw your original handiwork today."

	Beverly leaned stupidly against the doorpost and said nothing.  In
fact she was too drunk to say 'bread' and as she tried to reply she slid
helplessly down the wall.

	"You're pissed!"  I accused.

	"An- and you're a tight-arse, bu- bur' I'll be sober tomorrow."

	I felt a little jealous.  To loose all inhibitions and get
hopelessly incapacitated demonstrated that Beverly was wholly at ease on
this planet.  She would never have dreamed of allowing herself to become so
vulnerable on Earth.  I would try and speak to her in the morning but for
now it behoved me to lay her frail unconscious form out in my spare
bedroom.  I debated undressing her for bed then suddenly remembered she was
a frightened transvestite and my feminine sensibilities prevented me.  For
a moment however, I was curious and debated peeking under her indecently
short skirt until I remembered her horror of such things sexual.  Instead I
gently tucked a blanket over her and returned to brood in my chair.  Later
Thlom staggered by and smiled as he saw Beverly flaked out.

	"Keep an eye on her.  She's drunk far too much."

	"Don't I know it.  What prompted you two to tie one on?"

	"She always does on her second night.  She feels safe here and it's
her only relief valve.  Getting pissed once a visit is hardly a crime now
is it?"

	"Where did you go today?"

	"Somewhere private."

	"Oh!  I suppose you're her guardian and boyfriend are you?"

	"That's disgusting.  You really are a suspicious person aren't
you?"

	"Why would she want privacy on this planet.  It's like a bloody ant
heap and if she wanted privacy she's got the whole bloody universe."

	"I'll talk to you in the morning.  I'm too pissed to get
philanthropical now.  Goodnight."

	I wondered what he meant by 'philanthropical' and assumed that he
meant philosophical.

He left and I closed my door to avoid any more interruptions.  Beverly
grunted drunkenly a couple of times so I closed her door and switched on
the television.  There was a debate going on about improving the solutions
to the overcrowding and I quickly became engrossed in the arguments. When
it finished I retired thoughtfully to bed.

	When I woke Beverly was preparing some food and chewing on an alien
root with a strong citric aroma.  She grinned guiltily as I emerged.

	"D'you want some breakfast?"  She chirped cheerfully.

	"I'm surprised you're up to eating after last night."

	"I chew this root and drink oodles of water.  It clears hangovers
like magic.  Try it."

	She proffered a small slice but I rejected it.

	"I don't need it I wasn't pissed last night."

	"Do I detect a note of censure then?"  Grinned Beverly disarmingly.


I couldn't remain angry with her and it was churlish of me to be miffed
about her having left me to my own devices.  It was her only opportunity to
let her hair down while feeling unthreatened.  Additionally I had enjoyed a
very interesting day and I asked her about the old Mark One Albatross.  She
smiled slightly then shrugged her shoulders disarmingly.

	"Yes it was all a bit hairy back then.  The Albatross looked a lot
better than that when I first lit out from Earth.  She's a bit careworn now
what with the burns and blasts of outrageous fortune.  She had a pretty
rough life."

	"I can't believe you actually got that trash can into space.  Is it
true you nearly ran out of air?"

	"Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration. She was always leaking air
and I was continually welding the cracks.  The dematerializations were
always a bit bumpy though."

	"A bit bumpy by God!  The Physics professor told me they detected
the bang down here.  Just how much bloody energy is knocking around when
that thing flies?"

	"You're comparing her to a rocket again. She doesn't work like
that.  Forget Newtonian physics and Einstein's relativity.  And don't call
her 'it'."

	I squinted at Beverly suspiciously as she dished up the food.

	"Is there something special about her that you're not telling me?"

	"Nothing I haven't already told you.  It's just that Cold Albatross
I- well she's my baby.  I can't have a real baby can I?  Although I was
screwed enough times before Albatross was finally born."

	I sensed her pain and changed the subject.  There was no way I was
going to get involved in a psychosexual counselling session with a
super-intelligent transvestite.

	"What are we doing today?"

	"We?  I don't know about we.  I'm off with Thlom to the breeding
ponds and contraception labs.  They want some of my DNA."

	"Good God!  What are you up to?"  I squeaked suspecting some
obscene frankensteinian experiments.

	"They have tremendous trouble with estrogenic compounds because
they're amphibians.

All their efforts at contraception keep falling foul of the low estrogenic
tolerances of their amphibian metabolisms.  You know like shellfish and
fish are changing sex in Earth's rivers because of PCB's and stuff.  Well
it's like that with their boys.  If they dose the girls they lay only
female eggs. And that compounds the overpopulation problems.  If they dose
the boys they tend to change sex.

The whole thing's a mess.  They've got some pretty fancy stuff available
but it's not wholly reliable.  They know my mammalian DNA is far more
tolerant so they are looking at some way of utilising that capacity.  I
leave some DNA samples every time I come.  They've already had some
spectacular results with mammalian testosterone but I don't produce much
these days.  They're on the verge of synthesising a compatible amphibian
version and I'm going to visit them to chat to their geneticists."

	"They might be cloning you for all you know.  Don't you think
you're being a bit too trusting?"

"There you go again; human distrust.  I don't care what they do.  They
accept me for what I am and make me welcome.  I'll do whatever they ask of
me."

"So they'll end up with a race of half mammalian, half amphibian
transvestites."

	"Thanks very much.  They're not stupid you know.  You're a totally
xenophobic W.A.S.P when it comes to science aren't you?"

I recalled the attitudes of White Anglo-Saxon Protestants towards the other
human races and realised she had hit the issue right on the button.  Once
again she had made me feel stupid.  It was painfully obvious that these
people were infinitely far ahead of mankind if one excluded Beverly's
lonely unsung genius.  But then, she hardly considered herself human
anymore.  A sort of itinerant, transgalactic, transvestite, half-and-half.
I couldn't really blame her though.  She put on a short fur trimmed coat
over her mini-dress and turned to me.

"I'll be back about fivish, our time.  That's about thirty four o'clock
their time.  You don't have to clear up.  They've got servants for that so
you'll feel at home.  Enjoy yourself.

You've got a month to kill before I return to the Sol system.  You should
have learned enough by then to convince those unbelievers back on earth."

"Can I come?"  I begged, keen to keep company with the only other human and
already feeling the loneliness of isolation and culture shock.

"You won't approve of what we're doing.  They had enough trouble getting
the mammalian DNA ideas past their own ethical research committee.  What
was it you said?  'Needs must'."

	I searched desperately for a reason to justify my accompanying her.

	"I might be able to contribute some of my DNA."

	She gave me a long, knowing, penetrating look.

"Stop trying to bribe me.  You know you disapprove."

"I'm a biologist for God's sake.  And I saw that debate last night on
television.  They need all the help they can get."

"So what can you do that their greatest scientists can't"

	"It's not what I can do, it's what I am!"

	A dawning light of suspicion glinted in Beverly's eyes but she
shook her head disbelievingly and muttered 'No', to herself.

	"Why not?"  I pleaded.  "What's good for the gander is good for the
goose.  Let's see what Thlom has to say."

Beverly shrugged resignedly and nodded towards my coat and hat.

	"You'd better get wrapped up then.  It's dangerously cold at the
breeding ponds because they're high in the hills.  The temperature range is
critical for gender distribution amongst the eggs during incubation."

	"Like reptiles."  I added.

"Exactly."

	"Why aren't you wrapped up then?"

	"I don't feel the cold much.  Arctic childhood; remember?"

	I stared at her inquisitorially and she shrugged again as she
reminded me.

	"As is bent the twig, so grows the tree.  I survived the mountain
frosts and frozen bedrooms during my childhood years and it's been that way
ever since.  Call me the bloody Ice Queen."

I shuddered as snippets of her past kept resurrecting themselves to haunt
our friendship.

There was a gentle tap on the door and Thlom spoke softly.

	"Are you in there Beverly?"

	I opened the door to find him wrapped up like an Eskimo in a very
elaborate all in one.

He agreed to my request and the three of us entered his shuttle.

	"Is it that cold then?"  I asked him.

	"To us yes.  The men feel it particularly badly.  The breeding
ponds are frozen at the moment and the hatch isn't until spring.  All we do
is ensure that the ponds are safe.  The eggs overwinter under the ice."

	"Who would attack the eggs?"

	"Nobody now that the predators are extinct.  We only make sure the
ponds remain frozen and unpolluted.  The planet has become progressively
dirtier with the overcrowding.

We just keep a check on the water quality then there's a huge festival
during the hatch.  We're just going up to the labs for tests."

	"Yes Beverly's mentioned it.  What d'you hope to gain?"

	"We don't know.  These are desperate times."

	"What sort of DNA does she supply?"  I asked glancing
contemptuously towards Beverly

	"Whatever we ask of her."  Replied Thlom innocently missing my
venom.  "Usually body cells and semen."

	"You surprise me Beverly.  I'm surprised you can still produce
semen."

	"It's nothing to do with you."  Snapped Beverly defensively.  "What
sort of DNA are you going to supply?"

	She had unwittingly struck a sensitive note.  As a woman they might
ask me to supply some unfertilised eggs and I wasn't sure if I was ready
for that.

Somehow eggs seemed more sacred than sperm and anyhow there was only a
finite number in my ovaries.  I sucked my lip thoughtfully.  My protective
mothering instincts began to play havoc with my wish to help these gentle
people.  Beverly realised she had struck home.

	"Still keen to help.  You can still back out if you haven't got the
bottle.  I've got good reason to help them; remember this?"


She disconnected her left hand and waved the stump angrily under my nose.
It suddenly acquired an obscene quality as I tried to comprehend what sort
of human monster would maim a child.  I began to realise just how much
Beverly and the amphibians were into each other; and the relationship was
based on mutual affections.  Her gesture finally persuaded me.  If I could
bring home the biotechnology associated with Beverly's prosthetic it would
be a fair deal.  I considered all the amputees and paraplegics on Earth and
the pathetic gratitude that would ensue.  It would also make me rich.
Having found my main chance I proposed the deal, some of my eggs for the
prosthesis biotechnology.  Thlom pursed his lips thoughtfully then
shrugged.

	"It should get past the ethics committee.  What d'you think of it
Beverly?"

	Beverly turned around and glanced at me contemptuously before
replying to Thlom.

	"She's a greedy little gold digger but it seems a fair deal.  We
mammals can't re-grow our limbs like crabs and lobsters."

Then she turned to me with a caution in her voice.

	"This prosthesis is not all it seems.  It's a symbiotic parasite;
partly amphibian, partly crustacean and partly me; you do realise that
don't you.  They used the crustacean ability to re-grow limbs, their own
amphibian biotechnology and my genetic material to make if compatible.

Look, do you see those pipes there; well they are micro blood vessels to
keep the hand alive.

It's a separate living organism in parasitic symbiosis with me.  D'you
think a W.A.S.P., could hack having a parasite attached to his body.  The
fascist bastards can't even stand having different races living in the same
country and as for gays and trannies the less said the better.  The idea of
having some parasite feeding off their precious bodies would probably send
them over the edge.  They might even refuse it quarantine; you know how
xenophobic they are."

"I think you're being silly now Beverly.  It's you that's being paranoid."

	"Yeah.  I wonder why."  She murmured wearily as she turned to face
the front again and twiddled with the in-car television.

	The shuttle slowed down and descended onto a piedmont plateau just
above the snow line.  The breeding ponds were clearly visible as the ice
glittered in the harsh sunlight and the shuttle settled by the small town
that lay amongst the ponds.

	"This is their main research station for genetic engineering."
Observed Beverly as she stepped out into the bitter cold.

I shivered as the icy stillness bit through my ankle length coat and Thlom
frantically buttoned up his arctic style overall.  Within moments he was
all but invisible inside his overall and I pulled my coat tight around me.
The bitter frost quickly sliced through my clothing but Beverly seemed
unaffected. There seemed to be something alien about her hardiness and I
wondered if perhaps she had indulged in some more alien genetic engineering
on yet another planet.  In any event my fingers had already begun to ache
with frostbite but she seemed completely unaffected and all she had on was
a short 'thigh-length' fur trimmed coat over her mini-dress and calf length
boots.  We struggled through the tinkling snow crystals and eventually made
it to the welcome heat of the buildings.  Thlom let out a grateful croak of
relief and my teeth chattered away uncontrollably for a few more minutes
before we recovered from what could not have been more than a couple of
minutes of exposure.

	"M-My God!  J-Just how cold is it out there?"  I stuttered.

	"Alcohol freezes."  Replied Beverly unconcernedly.

	"Christ girl!  You must have bloody glycerine for blood."

	"Is your face frozen?"  Asked Beverly.

	I felt it and had to admit it was not.  There had been no wind to
steal my surface body heat.  Beverly smiled condescendingly.

"Most of my body is like your face.  As a child in the mountains I had to
survive in rags.

The body quickly adapts.  I'm used to cold.  It's also bloody cold in deep
space and Cold Albatross 1 was a pretty crude old tub."

	She continued talking and turned to grin at Thlom as he unbuttoned
his overall.

	"Thlom on the other hand is a warm blooded amphibian and has
absolutely no resistance

to cold.  He would die in seconds without protection.  Wouldn't you Thlom?"

Thlom grinned and stepped out of his protective suite then looked curiously
at me.

	"I would have thought you would have the same alien endurance as
Beverly?"

	"People vary a lot on Earth."  I replied.  "How on earth do your
eggs survive?"

	"They're cold blooded at the moment and can survive incredibly low
temperatures.  They go through metamorphosis soon after hatching."

	"Like tadpoles."  Finished Beverly.

	"I perfectly understand what Thlom said Beverly!  I am a graduate
biologist after all."

	"So-orryyy!"  She winged mockingly.

	"Stop bickering you two and let's meet the research team."  Ordered
Thlom who was becoming impatient with our constant sniping.

	Thus censured we both kept our silence and joined the research team
inside.  After a very brief introduction Thlom explained what I had offered
and their eyes widened with appreciation.  They immediately settled around
a table to discuss different strategies and Beverly was soon left out in
the cold as we pooled our biological knowledge.  She was obviously bored
with Biology and left to indulge in whatever caught her interest.  Thlom
told me she had gone to donate her DNA.

	'Going for a wank.'  I grinned to myself.  The thought of such an
attractive woman masturbating like a man intrigued me.  I found it hard to
imagine until I saw her sample later under the microscope.  The count was
as low as I expected but the healthy motility of the few sperm impressed
me.  I gave my professional opinion of the sperm sample and that satisfied
the amphibian scientists.  It was now my turn.  I was given a local
anaesthetic and actually had to help direct the egg extraction on the
camera.  They removed half of the forty we had agreed and immediately froze
them.  Even if the all eggs failed there was still a vast healthy reserve
left in my ovaries.  For the next few days I helped in various experiments
and couldn't help feel a perverse sense of motherliness towards my own eggs
even though they were still infertile.

Eventually they got the artificial womb right and managed to synthesise a
credible facsimile of my own blood.  They would now be able to carry out
satisfactory foetal experiments and we returned to the city.  This time I
borrowed a spare survival suite to reach the shuttle.

	Once back in the city Beverly and I were invited onto several talk
shows to debate the genetic engineering question.  The moral equation was
left unresolved but we absolved ourselves of responsibility.  After all we
would soon be leaving.  It was entirely up to the amphibians to decide any
future course of action concerning our samples.  For the next month we
toured their other colonised planets then we finally had to return to Cold
Albatross.  It was with no small sense of loss that I left their worlds and
Beverly also seemed particularly quiet when we renewed our acquaintance
with our trusty craft.

"So.  It's back to Earth again."  I sighed.

	"Yup.  You've had your jaunt and all the stuff you'll need to
create a satisfactory prosthesis has been placed in the cargo hold.  Shall
we go?"

	"Good a time as any."  I shrugged a little sadly.

	She reversed the procedures more or less exactly and within a
similar time span we were back hovering on the blind side of the Earth's
moon.  As we shared what was obviously to be our last meal together Beverly
broached the subject of our return.

"So how d'you want to arrange your return Ruby?  A blaze of publicity and
world-wide panic or a discreet secret night arrival exactly as you left."

I wagged my head confusedly.

	"Neither seems a good idea.  A blaze of publicity would destroy all
hopes privacy but if I just reappear at work the next morning I would
probably get the sack.  Nobody would believe a word I say although I would
still be set up for life with the prosthesis technology.  There must be
some sort of middle way."

	"I've been considering that."  She grinned.  "What If I did the
same to you as the astronauts and put you down on some aircraft-carrier at
sea?"

	"I mulled the idea over in my mind and reasoned that it wasn't a
bad idea.  Beverly wasn't just a pretty face."

"An American ship or a French one?"  I asked.

	"Dunno just yet.  You're an American citizen so I think it's unfair
to dump you on a United States Ship.  They'll try and keep the whole thing
a secret and keep you under wraps. They'll be paranoid about UFO's after I
rescued their astronauts.  I didn't identify myself I just tractor beamed
that stupid shuttle thing to the Cold Albatross's side and literally
dragged them back to the safety of Earth.  You might not get to benefit
from the prosthesis stuff either cos if they want to keep you a secret they
daren't let you loose.  It might be best to use a foreign ship then they
can't keep it a secret."

	"There's a hidden agenda here isn't there Beverly?"

	Her jaw tightened slightly as her expression hardened and her
normally full red lips became two thin red lines of bitterness.

	"Humanity owes me.  I want to see them sweat."

	"Who owes you?"  I asked softly.

	"The whole damned human race.  I want them to know what they have
lost and why.

Instead of being one of the most fortunate races in the universe I want
them to suffer like I suffered.  I want them to regret what they did to me
for the next million years.  In future, every time an alien race visits
this planet, humanity will have to look up into the skies and remember it
could have been them travelling to the stars.

I hope that will be my undying legacy.  My story is already well known the
length and breadth of the universe.  Earth will be a pariah planet for
millennia to come.  Nobody will reveal my secrets to humankind."

I felt a cold knot tightening in my stomach.  Her bitterness was a
primordial hateful force and I could hardly blame her.  It was a rare and
lucky individual who managed to extract any vengeance for a childhood
betrayal and Beverly's betrayal had been total.  I felt a vicious mix of
excitement and anxiety twisting up my vitals as I contemplated my part in
her plan.  I would become as rich as Croseus yet I would be the harbinger
of some of the worst news to hit humanity.  Would I somehow be blamed as
the bringer of the news?  Would they try to kill the messenger?

	Full of foreboding I wagged my head slowly but she ignored my
depression as she matter-of-factly declared her plan.

"I'll scan the Atlantic for a suitable ship and land you on whatever's
convenient. OK?"

	"It'll have to be."  I mumbled.  "You've used me haven't you?"

	"Nothing's free in this universe Ruby.  Did you think I was some
sort of philanthropist?  I'm a psychopathic transvestite misfit and it's
mankind that made me so."

	"That's not entirely true Beverly.  From what you've told me, it
was mainly your family that made you into a transvestite."

	"I don't know about that.  Are transvestites born or made?  Is
there a transvestite gene?"

	"What; like a gay gene d'you mean?"  I asked wonderingly.

	"Exactly.  You're the biologist.  You tell me."

	"That's a thought.  It might be worth researching."

	"Research or not, it's spilt milk now.  It'll not benefit me will
it?"

	"It could do.  If we discovered a transvestite gene we might be
able to eliminate it."

	Beverly's face turned white with shock and I quickly realised I had
not only overstepped the mark but smashed right through it.

	"You haven't learned a damned thing in all of this trip have you?"

	My mind groped for an apology as a vague inkling filtered through
my prejudices.

Beverly saved me any further mental effort.

"I like being a transvestite.  It's nice.  Can't you get that through
you're thick skull?"

	"But what about all the social censure; the pressure and
condemnation from others."

	"Bugger the others, if I found a transvestite gene, I'd offer it to
the whole of humanity."

	"I don't think they'd take up your offer."

	"Then they don't know what they're bloody missing."  She finished.

	Lost for a riposte I drained my coffee and contemplated the last
few minutes travelling down to Earth.  She stood up, entered her bedroom
and rummaged through her wardrobe for a suitable dress.  Unusually she left
the door open and I was allowed to watch her get changed.

The only concession to her transvestism being to discreetly turn away from
me as she changed her panties.  The dress was a provocatively short tight
fitting cocktail number and I anticipated her needing help to do up the
zip.

To my amazement however the left hand proved remarkably agile and she
deftly zippered the dress up to fit snugly over her delicious curves.  I
realised she was 'putting on her war-paint' in anticipation of some sort of
deliberate encounter.

	"How come you needed my help with the stuck zip when we first met?"
I demanded.

	"I didn't Ruby.  It was an icebreaker.  A subtle ploy to relax
you."

	"I'm not relaxed now am I.  It's a shitty message you've left me to
deliver to mankind."

	"Take heart Ruby.  I'm going to allow them to see me.  I'll be
standing in the cargo door when you step onto the aircraft carrier.  Why
d'you think I'm wearing this?  Come on it's time to go.  You can sit on the
cockpit divan and watch your home planet fill your senses."

	"It's your home planet as well."  I pointed out.

	"I've moved on Ruby.  I've got no home now.  There's no hope of my
ever going back."

	The familiar image of Earth quickly filled the window and in what
seemed a moment we were loitering high above the rippled grey Atlantic.  It
was a beautifully clear summer's day and I began to wonder how long I had
been away.  We had left in the middle of the North American Winter.
Beverly grinned and explained.

"You're only a month older but the Earth has moved on nearly half a year.
You've gained five months of extra living Ruby.  Don't waste it."

 I felt a thrill of excitement at learning this but it was quickly followed
by frustration.  I had no way of proving it back on Earth.  Beverly brought
the Cold Albatross down to a suitable altitude and we started patiently
searching the ocean.

For all her super-advanced drive, the Cold Albatross lacked any form of
communication, no Radar, no radio or anything.  Beverly pointed out that
she had little need for them as a confirmed loner wandering in space.
Additionally she had no solid form when she was time warping between the
galaxies so there was no physical risk of collision.  Consequently we had
to search the oceans visually for several hours before we spotted a
familiar grey form.  Their radar had spotted us however long before we had
spotted them and suddenly four Harrier jets buzzed us.  I recognised their
markings immediately as British.

"Company."  I announced superfluously.

	"Yeah."  Responded Beverly.

	 'A little too disappointedly I thought considering she had been
born in England.'

	"They're trying to attract our attention."  I pointed out.

	"Well they would wouldn't they."  She grinned.  "Give them a wave."

	As she spoke the antiglare visor disappeared into its slot and the
cockpit lights increased their brilliance.

Both Beverly and I were now clearly visible to the pilots and their
excitement was plainly apparent.  I saw the leader talking into his
mouthpiece and trying to establish communication.  As they investigated the
Cold Albatross they quickly discovered there was no turbulence from any
jets or rockets and they were able to approach within a few feet.
Immediately one pilot approached close enough to get a really good look.
Beverly let out a short ironic chuckle before making a suggestion.

"There's a Pencil and a large paper pad in my study.  You'd better go and
get it."

	I gave a vague 'wait a minute' sign to the harrier pilot and
quickly returned holding up the pencil and pad.  The pilot had already read
our name on the side and recognised us as vaguely human so he immediately
produced his kneepad notebook when he saw my ploy.  Eagerly I scribbled the
first message.

	"What do you want?"

	Immediately he scribbled back.

	"Hello Cold Albatross.  Who and what are you?"

	Gleefully I riposted with a provocative reply.

	"Space gypsies."

	The man was quick and intelligent and realised that whatever sort
of craft it was, it was obviously more advanced than his jet.  Cold
Albatross looked like something out of a science fiction writer's
nightmare.  His next message conveyed his down-to-earth matter-of-factness.

	"You look similar to humans."

	"We are human."  I quickly scribbled.

	This note prompted the other three jets to approach closer as all
four pilots manoeuvred for a better view.  Beverly had joined me and I
watched their eyes drink her in.  We had slowed right down to about seventy
knots and from their jaw actions I realised their radios were hot with
gossip.  The transmissions must have also alerted an American aircraft
carrier for suddenly a squadron of familiar F 14's howled past leaving the
delicately balanced harriers swaying and wobbling in their wake.  One of
the harriers' crunched into Cold Albatross's thick titanium hull and the
plane quickly started to loose control.  I let out a gasp of dismay for
there was little time for the pilot to eject.  Beverly had already
anticipated the tragedy however and let out an oath.

	"Stupid cunts!  Hold on tight Ruby!"

	My shoulder slammed against the window as the Cold Albatross
suddenly decelerated in the old fashioned three-dimensional sense and a
dull green tractor beam erupted from the side of our hull.  It ionised the
air as it tracked onto the spinning harrier and quickly halted its fall.
Within seconds the helpless plane was being drawn up towards our ship and
Beverly rejoined our escort.

	"Best show them we mean no harm.  They may not know it but they
could blast us to

Kingdom Come with one missile. Cold Albatross has got no protection
whatsoever."

	"Except to warp away smartish.  I suggested."

	"What!  With that bloody harrier attached inside the perimeter of
the ring?  The energy diversion would vaporise the whole Earth in an
instant and maybe Mars and Venus to boot."

I shuddered at the concept of so much energy being locked up in one small
ring of crystalline amalgam.

Beverly reduced her speed until we were hovering over a vast grey deck.  I
quickly recognised it as the plateaux of huge American nuclear aircraft
carrier and I cautioned Beverly.  She shook her head resignedly.

"I'll have to put the plane down here.  The tractor beam quickly overheats
in air.  Look the ionised gases are already scorching the harrier's
fuselage.  Anyway the Brits and Yanks are still allies aren't they.  They
won't harm the bloody pilot surely?"

	I quickly concurred and wrote a note explaining the problem to the
other harriers.  Beverly gently set the crippled aircraft down on the vast
flight deck and one of the other harriers landed alongside it.  The
remaining pair continued escorting us and we departed for the British
aircraft carrier.  We concluded that both navies must have been having some
sort of joint exercise and we grinned as we considered the airwaves between
the ships blistering with gossip.

"A perfect compromise."  Giggled Beverly.  "Both navies are now fully
cognoscente of our existence but they'll work like hell to try and keep the
whole encounter a secret."

	 She modestly tugged down the hem of her cocktail dress for in the
anxiety of delivering the crippled harrier she had been squirming and
fidgeting in her seat.

	"I've only done that once before with their space shuttle.  It's
still a bit of a feather in my cap, though I say it myself.  The air
distorts the tractor beam, it's much easier in space."

	"The harriers are asking us to steer to where they're pointing."  I
observed.

"Ask for a compass course."  Suggested Beverly.

	On reading my note the pilot thumped his head in amusement and
promptly wrote down the three-figure course.  Beverly gave a low chuckle
and ratcheted up one of the control knobs microscopically.

"Watch this."  She giggled as her finger rested easily on one of the
incongruent aluminium levers.

Free of its pollutant harrier the Cold Albatross could now show her paces
and we accelerated alarmingly.  Once again I felt no sensation and
instantly the British carrier with it's turned up nose appeared over the
horizon.  We had been hovering soundlessly over the flight deck for five
minutes and already lowered the passenger ladder towards the deck before
the two escort harriers and the squadron of F 14's finally arrived limping
along behind us.

	 My big moment had arrived.  The cockpit window was level with the
ships bridge and we were eyeball to eyeball with the ships' captain. I gave
Beverly the notebook.

"Please maintain course and speed."  She requested courteously as she
cautiously compared our relative speeds.  The captain gave a clear 'thumbs
up' sign and mouthed some instructions to the helmsman.  Beverly gave a
sigh of relief for the man had obviously grasped what we were trying to do.
She returned to the controls and fixed the settings before turning to me.

	"Well Ruby.  It's goodbye I'm afraid.  I'll see you to the ladder.

	"What about my stuff in the cargo hold?"

	"It's being lowered down as we speak.  Come and look."

	I followed her to the hold and found the tractor beam already busy
again.  The crackling heat from the ionised air was overpowering though and
we both quickly retreated back into the cockpit.  Through her apartment
window I watched the container being deposited gently and the beam snapped
shut as quickly as it safely could.  On the flight deck below, dozens of
armed crew were cautiously studying the alien container so Beverly returned
to the cockpit and quickly scribbled another note.

	"Container is no danger to your ship.  One passenger also to be
landed."

	She pointed to me to indicate who was being landed but the captain
was all eyes for her.

As he gazed appreciatively I smiled inwardly.

'If the man had but known what lay under that daring cocktail frock.'

With typical feminine pique I had unconsciously tried to compete with her
and also dressed in a daring summer cocktail frock.  Unfortunately it was
totally unsuitable for descending ladders and my thin frock was about to
give the crew a treat.

Now that the tractor beam had cooled we returned to the cargo hold and the
passenger door opened to reveal the long climb down to the ships flight
deck.  I turned to Beverly with one last sad smile.

	"You don't have to give up on us you know.  Surely you can give the
human race one last chance."

"It's all too late."  She whispered sadly.  "I'm too messed up inside here.
I don't think it'll be long now before I end it all.  I always knew I
would.  There's lot's of other stuff in the container besides your
prosthesis material.  You'll have all the evidence you'll ever need.  Don't
worry, none of it's dangerous.  Just be careful and sensible."

After one last desperate hug I started reluctantly down the ladder but
hesitated after only two steps.

"Please reconsider."

	"It's too late for that.  Besides-

 I've work to do in space so deep, and tasks to make the strongest weep,
and I've got promises to keep, and light years yet before I sleep."

With these poignant words borrowed from Frost her message was made
abundantly plain and painfully clear.

With each depressing step I seemed to be plumbing the depths of mankind's
descent until I reached the last rung and looked up one last time.  She
looked so small and wretched as she gave me one last wave and a lump stuck
hard in my throat.  I had never felt so useless as when her fragile haunted
features disappeared behind the closing door.  I turned to see the whole
crew gaping lustfully at the door and felt that ancient womanly weariness
for the age-old testosterone reactions.


As I watched their lustful faces their expressions suddenly changed and I
felt a whisper of cold air around my thin summer frock.  I turned to see
what Beverly was doing and I was shocked to find that the Cold Albatross
was already shrinking.  I joined the crew in gaping at the diminishing dot
and in another moment it was gone.  I turned to study the reception
committee and realised my troubles were beginning.  One of the pilots from
the escorting harriers walked nervously across to me.

	"What the hell is that thing?"  He asked enviously.

	I recognised him for a sky jockey.  Who, despite his obvious
intelligence and physical fitness, was still conceited enough to considered
himself one of the select few.  He had all the mannerisms of a macho
fly-boy and I watched him thoughtfully studying the spot in the sky where
Cold Albatross had last been visible.  I savoured my superiority and gave
it to him with both barrels as I pointed towards his harrier and the
circling F 14's.

"That, boy, was a transgalactic time machine and it could out-fly those
buckets of shit anytime."

I don't think he heard me for he was obviously too engrossed in the sky.