Date: Sat, 14 Jun 2003 08:37:55 EDT
From: DEANECHRIS@aol.com
Subject: Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers 8

Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers 8:

By Deane Christopher
Edited by Steve Zink
Copyrighted 2002


Preface

	Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers takes place in the Magatrix
the Magnificent Universe, which was first introduced in my serialized
seven-part story, Magician's Assistant.  The premise upon which both that
story and this story are based revolves around the fact that Magatrix the
Magnificent has been reprimanded by the ethics review board of the
Magician's Guild, and thereby constrained from continuing to use handsome
young males as her stage assistants.  Due to a little known codicil buried
deep within the guild's arcane bylaws, should a performing member elect to
avail themselves of a stage assistant or assistants, said stage
assistant(s) must be: one, young; two, beautiful; and three, female.
Outraged by the ruling of her guild's review board, Magatrix elects to
adhere to the letter of the Magician Guild's bylaws, while sidestepping its
spirit.  Magatrix the Magnificent, via the use of real magic, has elected
to sidestep the spirit of the outdated codicil by asking for male
volunteers from the audience to come up and join her on stage, whereupon
she magically transforms the unsuspecting gentlemen into her lovely female
stage assistants.

	Normally, Magatrix restores these magically feminized volunteer
assistants of hers to their former manly physiques at the completion of her
act.  However, for reasons known only to herself, upon occasion, Magatrix
sometimes elects to maintain her assistants in their feminine personas for
the remainder of the evening, and at times, well into the fullness of the
night.  Generally, when Magatrix selects this expanded stint as a female
option of hers, she modifies her sexual transmogrification spell in such a
way as to cause the transsexualized young gentleman to automatically regain
his manhood at the dawning of the following day.

	Generally, when Magatrix chooses to expand one of her volunteer
assistant's tenure as a bona fide member of the opposite sex, she further
modifies her transsexualization spell to include some very powerful
subliminal inducements that tend to function much the way posthypnotic
suggestions might.  Magatrix does this in order to make it easier for the
sexually transmogrified male to continue to function as the woman he has
been turned into by drastically downplaying, or completely eliminating the
ignominy factor involved in operating for a time as a woman.  For instance,
Magatrix usually continues to negate the residual and telltale awkwardness
that would normally beset most men ensconced in a well-endowed woman's
body.  She achieves this by incorporating several magical subroutines
within her expanded spell in order to compensate for the marked shift in
weight distribution.  That, in turn, directly impacts on the sexually
transmogrified individual's new center of gravity, thereby making it easy
for her sexually transmogrified assistants to maneuver about in a pair of
stiletto heels.

	Since Magatrix the Magnificent's magic act has not substantially
altered from that which was described in my previous story, Magician's
Assistant 1: The Performance, I have elected to begin Magician's Assistant
- Friends & Lovers shortly after Magatrix has brought her evening's
performance to its conclusion.  In other words, the foremost male
protagonist of this story, one Michael Gerlach, begins this story as the
woman Magatrix has turned him into earlier in the evening.  However, for
those who might be interested in reading (or possibly rereading) a
description of Magatrix's magical act, in which the initial
transsexualization of birthday boy Jeff Gibson takes place, I encourage
them to read Magician's Assistant 1: The Performance, which can be accessed
elsewhere on this site.


Synopsis of Preceding Chapters


	Chapter 1 began with a conversation that occurred while the ultra
feminized Michael Gerlach was dancing with his best friend, John Larsen.
Having first discussed Mike's impressions of what it was like to be a
woman, Mike continues on to tell John about of some of the more unusual
aspects of transsexualization spell that she is operating under.  Then,
having admitted that she finds herself sexual attracted to John, Mike
encourages John to kiss her.  One kiss leads to another, whereupon a very
turned-on Mike beseeches John to make love to her.  At that point Magatrix
joins the conversation and offers the two of them the use of one of her
hotel suite's bedrooms.

	In Chapter 2, we joined the couple just prior to Mike's first
multi-orgasmic experience as a woman, via John's selfless act of oral sex.
Following that, the two then go on to share their impressions.  Then, to
John's amazement, Mike informs her friend that what she wants is to
experience what it feels like to have his manhood nestled snugly up insider
her.  John, after a little coaxing on Mike's part, is more than happy to
oblige her.

	Chapter 3 picks up where Chapter 2 left off, with Mike quickly
losing her virginity as the two friends engage in their first act of carnal
sex.  Then, after they have somewhat recuperated from their love making
session, another intimate conversation ensues in which John and Mike begin
to tentatively explore how their feelings toward one another may have
changed, in light of Mike's temporary and magical transsexualization.
Another love making sessions follows, in which John, in the heat of his
passion, utters those three little words that not only have a marked
tendency to scare the bejesus out of people, but can prove absolutely
disastrous to a relationship, terminating it with but their mere utterance.

	In Chapter 4, having acknowledged the fact that they are indeed in
love with one another, John and Mike begin to seriously examine the pros
and cons of a life together as man and wife.  Finally, after a good deal of
discussion, Mike informs John that she wants nothing more than to remain a
woman and become not only his wife, but the mother of his children as well.
The chapter ended with Mike asking John to go get Magatrix so that she
could prevail upon the magician to make her sexual reassignment a permanent
one.

	Chapter 5 began with John regrettably informing Mike that Magatrix
has not returned to her hotel suite as yet.  Then, having reconfirmed the
fact that she dearly would like to remain the woman that the magician has
turned her into, Mike, in an effort to make the most of her remaining time
as a girl, enticed John into making love to her again.  Afterward, aware
that dawn was quickly approaching, and with Magatrix still a no-show, the
two adopted a plan to wait the magician out.

	Chapter 6 began with dawn quickly approaching, and Magatrix still
not having put in an appearance at her hotel suite.  Aware that Mike would
shortly revert back to being a man again, the two friends decided that it
would be best for them to shower and dress separately.  While in the
shower, Mike played a fast and furious game of grab-ass with herself.
Then, having dressed herself, Mike changed back into his former manly self.
He then linked up with John in the suite's sitting room, whereupon the two
proceeded to head down to the hotel's restaurant.

	In Chapter 7, we find that Magatrix the Magnificent has joined John
and Mike, soon after their arrival in the hotel's restaurant.  Shortly
thereafter, having made several easily met demands of the friends, Magatrix
changes Mike back into the vivacious young woman he spent the night as.
Then, urged by the magician to select a new, feminine name for herself,
Mike chooses the name Nicole.  Whereupon, Magatrix takes it upon herself to
explain how easy it will be for Nicole to assume her new identity.


Chapter 8


	"Hey!" John exclaimed, as Nikki placed yet another plate pilled
high with food on the booth's rather cluttered table.  "You'd better watch
it there, kiddo.

	"I mean to tell you.  You've been really packing in the grub this
morning, and the last thing that either one of us wants is for you to ruin
that new, trim, little girlish figure of yours.

	"I mean, we don't want you getting all fat and frumpy, now do we?"

	"Oh, you needn't worry about that, John," Magatrix chimed in.  "You
see, the way I've got the game rigged, I've fixed it so that Nicole's
metabolism is for the most part, pretty self-regulating.  In other words,
I've not only turned her into a blonde bombshell, but I've made damn sure
she'll stay a blonde bombshell, whether she likes it or not.

	"Oh, and here's something else that I think you'll find to your
liking, Nicole.  I've retarded your aging process.  Basically, you could
say that I've cut it in half.  In other words, it'll take you two years to
appear as if you aged one.  Now, that won't mean a lot to you at the
present, but I assure you, it will later on.

	"Think about it.  Your age is somewhere around twenty-five, right?"

	"Yes.  That's to say that I will be by the end of next month."

	"Okay.  But, though you will be twenty-five at the end of next
month, would you agree with me that the new you that I've turned you into
doesn't look to be a day over twenty?"

	"Yeah...I kind of thought that as a girl, I looked a little young
for my age."

	"But, you're not about to complain about that, are you?" John
teased.

	"Now, would that be something that you would really want me to
complain about?  I mean, I'm sure if I ask Magatrix here to make me look my
age, she'd be happy to oblige."

	"No!  That's not what I'm saying at all, Nikki!  I mean, you know I
like you just the way you are!"

	"Good!" Nikki giggled.  "Because, so do I.  Though I know this is
going to sound like I'm full of myself, I have to admit that I really like
this new, young, and ever so sexy looking me!"

	"Are the two of you about finished with this little lover's game of
yours?" Magatrix, playing the part of the stringent taskmaster, ruefully
inquired.  "Because, if you are, I'd kind of like to move this discussion
of ours along, since I do have other things to attend to today.

	"Oh!  And, speaking of other things, there's something else I've
been meaning to ask you, Nicole.  Now, I have no idea what your plans are
for the rest of the weekend, but I was kind of hoping that you might be
able to see your way clear to lending me a hand this afternoon, and maybe
even tomorrow afternoon as well.

	"You see, I'm scheduled to perform a matinee this afternoon for the
benefit of the local Boy Scouts Council.  Then, tomorrow, I'll be doing yet
another benefit performance.  This time to help out a senior citizens
center.  And, I was kind of hoping that you might consent to serving as my
assistant for either one, or the other, or both of the afternoon shows.

	"Look, if you can't, you can't.  That's perfectly okay with me.  I
mean, as you well know, I can always whip up a lovely assistant should I
need one.  I just thought that, since we seem to work well together on
stage, it would be kind of nice were you to lend me a hand again."

	"You need say no more.  I'd be more happy to do it," Nicole beamed
earnestly.

	"Good.  I kind of thought you would.

	"Now, both shows are scheduled to start at two, but I need you
there by one.  Is that going to present a problem for you?"

	"No.  John will make sure I'm there on time, won't you, John?"

	"Sure...  No problem...I'll have her there on time all right."

	"Hey!" Nikki excitedly exclaimed.  "You aren't leaving town until
sometime Thursday morning, right?"

	It was the magician's turn to respond tentatively.  "Yes...that's
correct."

	"That means you've got a performance scheduled every night through
Wednesday?"

	"Yes..."

	"Well, I was wondering if you could use an assistant for those
performances as well?  Or, would you prefer picking some poor schmuck out
of the audience and shoving a little femininity up his ass, you know, much
like you did with me?"

	"Am I to take it that you're volunteering your services?"

	"Sure, why the hell not?  I mean, while I must admit that the
sexual switcheroo business threw me for a loop at first, once I got into
the swing of things, I've got to admit: I had a blast being up there on the
stage with you.

	"Besides, how often does a good, God fearing girl like me get to
prance around in public, wearing something as downright sexy as that skimpy
outfit you had me trussed up in?"

	"Oh!  So, I take it you rather enjoyed flaunting those new wares of
yours like that?"

	Pointedly, Nikki shot back, "Don't you?"

	"Yeah..." Magatrix found herself forced to admit.  "I guess I kind
of do, at that.  However, just so you're not disappointed, when we do these
matinees, I'm going to have to dress us a little more sedately than I did
last night, owing to the makeup of the audiences to whom we'll be
performing.

	"After all, we don't want to be accused of, one, being responsible
for giving a lot Boy Scouts hard-ons; or two, causing a lot of dirty old
men to have heart attacks.

	"Now, is that going to be a problem for you if we both dress a tad
bit more conservatively than we did last night?"

	"No.  Not as long as you don't have a problem with me pouting on
stage."

	"Boy!  I think I've gone and created me a monster!"

	"Yeah!" John, not to be left completely out of the conversation,
added.  "I do believe you did, at that...  But, you've got to admit that
she is one sexy she-beast, if ever there was one!"

	"John!" Nikki, not to be left out of the fun, playfully bristled.
"How can you say something like that about your wife to be?"

	"Easy!  After all, it's the truth, isn't it?"

	Nikki got all thoughtful looking.  "Yes...I guess it is, at
that..."

	"Hey!"  John brightened as he looked toward Magatrix.  "You know
something, Nikki?  It just struck me that you're not the only one at this
table who seems to take an inordinate amount of pleasure out of being a
girl!  Though she hides it pretty well, every now and again our Magatrix
here will say something that most of the girls I know would never think of
saying.  In fact, now that I think about it, though that feminine voice of
yours tends to mask it, as far as I'm concerned, you seem to have a
tendency to talk a whole lot more like a guy does, than a girl."

	Piping up, Nikki thoughtfully added, "You know something, John?
You're right.  As strange as this is going to sound, I was just sitting
here thinking pretty much the same thing that you were.  The only
difference being: I didn't want to mention it."

	Reasserting himself, John came right out and asked the magician
what was on his mind.  "So, Magatrix, do you perhaps have something that
you'd like to tell us?  Or, should Nikki and I just assume that you weren't
always the woman you appear to be now?"

	"My, my, I must say that the two of you are very perceptive.  Would
you believe that you're the first two people who have ever picked up on
that, shall we say, rather telling idiosyncrasy of mine?  Oh, and lest I
forget to mention this, since most women do tend to use a slightly
different vocabulary than their male counterparts, you're going to have to
be aware of your choice of words.  That's to say that it's something that
you need to be aware of, Nicole.  Otherwise, someday somebody might pick up
on the fact that you talk more like a guy than a girl and, though the
likelihood of something such as that happening isn't all that great, it
could conceivable cause you some trouble.

	"But, getting back to what I was saying, you guys got me dead to
rights.  That's to say, I wasn't always the woman I am now."

	"So," a curious John urged, "how did it happen?  Did somebody turn
you into a girl, much the same way you turned my curmudgeonly old pal here
into this absolute gorgeous new girlfriend of mine?"

	"No!  Nobody did this to me.  Would you believe I actually went and
did it to myself?"

	"Why?"  John's curiosity was piqued.  "I mean, did you want to be a
woman?"

	"No... not really...  Basically, I guess you could say that what I
wanted to be was a real wizard class magician, and not some pretend
magician want-to-be, who employs slight-of-hand techniques, and various
forms of illusion to dazzle, mystify and thereby entertain the easily
bamboozled.

	"You see, ever since I was a kid, I've been enamored with magic.
And, just so you know, when I say magic, I'm not talking about the kind of
stage magic you're used to seeing.  Now, that's not to say that I don't
like stage magic, because I do.  I really enjoy it a lot.  However, what
I'm talking about here is real magic, the kind of magic that directly
impacts on the natural order of things, the kind of magic that allowed me
to transform you into a girl, among other things, Nicole.

	"Look!  The two of you need to understand something here.  You see,
there's magic, and then there's magic.  In other words, when you come right
down to it, though there are those who would quibble with this assertion of
mine, basically I tend to feel that there are two distinct kinds of magic,
and therefore, two distinct kinds of magical practitioners.  Oddly enough,
both forms of magic can be employed to achieve pretty much the same sort of
results.

	"Now, the first type of magic of which I speak is based on the
creation of spells and the charging of various magical artifacts through
the painstaking and time consuming adherence to certain exacting and
intricate rituals, rituals that generally are seasoned well with a plethora
of arcane incantations.  As one might expect, though the rituals themselves
have become closely guarded secrets, passed down grudgingly from one
generation to the next, this form of ritualistic derived metaphysical
manipulation is the most commonly practiced form of magic.

	"This then is the category into which most real - and, I stress the
word 'real' - witches, warlocks, shamans, witch doctors, and their ilk
fall.

	"Now, though I know I don't have to tell you guys this, most of the
people who claim to be able to use magic, can't.  In other words, there are
a hell of lot of fakers and self-deluded frauds out there who, being kind,
are nothing more than charlatans and magic user want-to-bes.

	"And, that brings us to the other form of magic.

	"Again, let me just say that both types of magic can achieve pretty
much the same results.  For example, Nicole, I could have just as easily
changed you into a girl by using a magical potent, artifact or perhaps a
magical spell.  However, I used none of those methods.  Instead, I used
nothing other than the conscious flexing of my will.  First, I used my mind
to gain access to magic's metaphysical wherewithal.  Then, with a mere
flexing of my will, I focused that metaphysical potential in such a way as
to cause you to undergo an all-encompassing and instantaneous male to
female transsexualization.  And, in an accompanying, albeit complimentary
endeavor, I also caused the male styled clothing that you were wearing at
the time to reconfigure itself into something that better suited your new
lot in life as the sexy-assed little dick-teaser into which I was in the
process of turning you.

	"Now that I've defined and differentiated between the two types of
'real' magic that do indeed exist, how 'bout I give the two of you a brief
rundown on how I ended up becoming a woman in the first place?  All right?"

	"As a small child, I was enamored with fairy tales, or, more
specifically, I was enamored with fairy tales that had a decidedly magical
aspect to them.  To this day, my Mom loves telling me about how I was
always walking around in my bathrobe, pretending that I was a mighty
wizard.

	"Do you know how some kids have invisible friends?  Well, would you
believe that I had an invisible dragon?  His name was Smokey the Dragon,
and I was adamant about how he liked to sleep out in our in the back yard,
wedged in between my father's tool shed and this large oak tree, whenever
he wasn't curled up under my bed, catching a couple of Z's with our cat
Fluffy.

	"Well, anyhow, when I was six years old, as one of my Christmas
presents that year, my parents gave me a boxed set of assorted magic
tricks, and that, as they say, was that!  I was hooked.  From that day
forward, when anybody would ever ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up,
I didn't hesitate.  Nor, did I even once equivocate.  I told them flat out
that I wanted to be a magician.

	"And, let me tell you something!  Once I made up my mind that I
wanted to be a magician, I never once wavered from my goal.  That's to say,
I started practicing until I not only learned, but had pretty much mastered
ever single one of the tricks in that first of many boxed sets of magical
paraphernalia that my parents gave me.

	"Now, when it comes to me and my becoming a magician, I have to
give my parents a hell of a lot of credit.  I mean to tell you.  They gave
all the encouragement and support I needed to further my interest.  When
and wherever possible, they helped me develop my skills, especially my
slight-of-hand techniques.  Basically, when you come right down to it, you
could say that they were my first audience.  I was performing for them all
the time.  And, would you believe that my father, who worked as a draftsman
and was always designing a bunch of innovated shit for use around the
house, started designing and building me even more elaborate illusions than
I could ever afford to purchase with my weekly allowance.  My mother, not
to be upstaged by my father, started making me various stage costumes.
They also scoured the local bookstores for any books that even remotely
dealt with the subject of stage magic.  It wasn't long before I had a whole
bookshelf devoted to the subject of stage magic and magical tricks.

	"My audience soon expanded to take in my relatives.  Whenever there
was a family get-together, save for the sad occasions when we all gathered
at a funeral parlor to mourn the passing of a loved one, my parents
encouraged me to perform my latest acts of prestidigitation.  My Uncle Earl
was absolutely fascinated by all the card tricks I knew, and was always
having me teach him a few, damn near every time he saw me.

	"When I was ten, my fifth grade teacher somehow got wind of my
magical talents and had me put on a little show one afternoon for the rest
of the class.  The principal saw it, liked it, and the next thing I know,
I'm being coerced into doing a performance for my whole elementary school.

	"And, I guess it all just sort of snowballed from there.  After
that, I started giving performances at schools all over the area.  Then,
someone at one of the local television stations contacted my Mom and asked
if they could feature me on their local catch as catch can morning talk and
information show, you know, that pretty much runs the whole gambit of
subjects, from news to weather, from traffic to sports.  And, I guess you
could say, that appearance pretty much gave that budding career of mine a
real kick in the ass.

	"I mean to tell you, after I appeared on that show, my services
were in real demand.  Over the next few years, I guess I performed at
almost every sort of function imaginable, and no doubt some that you would
never ever think of as wanting a magician to be part of their program.
Basically, all things considered, I'd have to say that birthday parities
were my mainstay.  But, during the same time period, I also did a whole
shitload of church sponsored pancake suppers.  I performed at Bar Mitzvah
parties, Bat Mitzvah parties, Confirmation parties, Holy Communion parties,
Baptism parities, baby showers, wedding showers, wedding receptions, prom
parties, retirement parties, and the like, just to name a few.  I also
appeared at company picnics, and a fair amount of Christmas parties.

	"And, then there were all those charity benefits at which I was
asked to perform...


*****


	"Now, I want you both to understand something here, even though I
was busy laying the groundwork for a lifetime career as a stage magician, I
never once gave up my childhood dreams of becoming a real live, walking,
talking magic user.  That's to say that my underlying goal throughout all
of this was to become a 'real' magic wielding magician.

	"I mean to tell you, I read everything - and, I do mean everything!
- I could lay my hands on that in any way dealt with anything of a magical
nature.  Now, I'll grant you, a lot of the stuff I read dealt with the
occult, which meant that over the years, I have perused a lot of material
that was of a satanic nature.  However, though I did read a lot of crap
that reeked of Satanism, rest assured, I never once bought into it.

	"Look!  The two of you need to understand something here.  Magic
isn't evil.  Nor, I should point out, is it good.  Magic just is, in that
it exists, and that's the be all and end all of it.

	"Now, what I can tell you is, magic is nothing more than, shall we
say, an unorthodox method used to venture outside of the natural order of
things as a means to achieve some sort of desired end.  In other words,
magic is neither good nor bad.  Or, to put that another way, there is
neither black magic nor, I should add, white magic.  However, magic can be
employed by evil people wishing to do evil deeds.  But, here again, the
converse is also true.  Magic, when wielded by a person with God's goodness
in their heart, can bring about wondrous things.  I mean, think about it!
Aren't miracles nothing more than magic used in a righteous cause?  At
least, for my money they are..."


*****


	"So anyhow, getting back to the business at hand, it was during my
sophomore year in high school when I conjured up my first real spell.  And,
I've got to tell you, as spells come and go, it wasn't anything to write
home about.  You see, all this first spell of mine did was to cause
somebody to pass gas, you know, pass gas, as in fart.

	"Oh!  And, I guess I should mention that, like most spells, it was
basically a one shot deal.  I mean, after I learned it, for the next couple
of weeks or so, I'd rush home from school so I could get my homework out of
the way.  Then, I'd grab a quick bit to eat so that I could spend the rest
of the evening sequestered in my room, reformulating, or you might say,
recasting that very same spell so that I could use it again the next day.

	"I mean to tell you, were it not for the fact that I gained a lot
of firsthand knowledge about the 'ins' and 'outs' of spell casting, the
results I got out of conjuring up that fart spell of mine didn't come even
close to justifying all the effort I put into it.  I mean, I would
literally spend hours up in my bedroom, for what?  A few fleeting minutes
worth of enjoyment when I let her ripe?

	"But, all in all it was worth it.  Oh, yeah... it most certainly
was...

	"As you two can probably imagine, I started with my teachers.  And,
you'd best believe I eventually got around to getting every one of them at
least once.  No!  That's not true!  Let me rescind that!  The truth of the
matter is, I got every one of them but Mr. Krapp, my geometry teacher.
Ironic, isn't it?  I mean, with a name like Krapp, you'd think he'd have
been one of my first targets.  But, he wasn't.  And, do you want to know
why he wasn't?

	"Well, I'll tell ya!  As far as I was concerned, Mr. Krapp was one
of the good guys.  I mean, there's guys you mess with, and guys you don't.
And, Mr. Krapp just happened to fall into the guys you don't mess with
category.  Oh!  But, have no fear.  I got a few of those pompous assholes
that made my life miserable real good.  I mean to tell you, I really
embarrassed the hell out of few of them.

	"There was this one time I recall when the whole school was in the
gym for an afternoon assembly.  Well, when the vice-principle, who
functioned as the school's much hated and equally feared disciplinarian
stepped up to the microphone to read us the riot act or some other such
nonsense of his, I triggered the fart spell, and boy did it rip.  I mean,
when it let loose, it just kept a comin' and a comin'!

	"Now, I've got to tell you that I've heard some really protracted
farts in my days, but this one had to have been not only the longest, but
one of the most pungent ones I've ever had the misfortune of being in the
presence of.  Succinctly put, it stank to High Heavens!  That's how
obnoxious it was!  I mean, my class was seated at the far end of the gym,
and I was all the way up in one of the rearmost rows, and damn if that fart
didn't have even me gagging away to beat the band!

	"So anyhow, once I got tired of making people fart at inappropriate
times, I managed to scrape together another of what I now think of as one
of my prankster spells.  Actually, I've got to tell you that, given its
diabolical nature, I'm rather proud of this particular spell of mine.  And,
while we're on the subject, I also should point out the fact that I got a
hell of lot of mileage out of it as well.

	"Basically, the spell started out as way to embarrass the hell out
of some of the guys that really pissed me off.  You see, the way this spell
worked was a real hoot!  First, it made the poor SOB I used it on hornier
than hell.  Which, as the two of you might suspect, resulted in them
getting a real first class boner, and that's boner, as in a very
noticeable, seam straining, crotch-rocket of a hard-on.  Then, once that
blood engorged male member of theirs had risen to the occasion, things
moved up to the next plateau as it became, 'Look, ma!  No Hands!' time.  As
you can well expect, it was only a matter of moments before they ended up
with a real mess on their hands, not to mention, all over their lower
abdomens."

	"Then, one day, I was sitting in detention, thinking how much I'd
like to get into Tara Fisher's panties, when, all of a sudden, it hit me.
All it would take would be a little nip here, and an insignificant tuck
there, and I'd be able to use that horniness spell of mine to turn an
introverted wallflower into a free spirited nymphomaniac, who was ready to
jump on a boy the way a dog jumps on a bone.

	"And, guess what?  That spell of mine worked like a charm!  The
next day I had Tara Fisher doing a first rate imitation of the character
Meg Ryan played in the movie 'When Harry Met Sally' in that infamous
restaurant scene.  As I recall, Tara Fisher got suspended for the rest of
the year after that spell of mine turned her into a wanton hussy right
smack dab in the middle of our English Lit Class.

	"Two days after that, if my memory serves me right, I got my Social
Studies teacher, a prude named Miss Wainright, back for that C-minus she
gave on a report on which I had worked my ass off.  And, just so you know,
in all honesty, that report I did should have earned me at the very least,
an A-minus.  Basically, that bitch gave me a C-minus just because I was
one, a boy; and two, a wisenheimer, you know, wisenheimer, as in class
clown.

	"Well, let me tell you, I got her back in spades when I unleashed
that admittedly diabolical and extremely dehumanizing sex-crazed
nymphomaniac spell of mine on her!  I mean, one minute that bitch Wainright
was writing something or other up on the blackboard.  The next, she was
playing a frenzied game of grab-ass with herself as she spastically
beat-feet out of her classroom, whereupon reaching the hallway, she made a
beeline for the nearest little girls' room.

	"Okay!  I'll grant you that what I did was not only way out of
line, in that it was wrong.  It's also a given that I never should have
done something like that to anyone, especially to one of my teachers, even
if it was a teacher I didn't like.  But, as wrong as it was for me to do
something such as that, I've got to tell you that I, along with the rest of
my class, ended up laughing our asses off.  That's to say that the whole
class got a charge out of seeing that ball-busting bitch playing a crass
and shameless game of titty-tweak with those rather generous bazookas of
hers.

	"However, the next day when we were informed that Miss Wainright
had taken a leave-of-absence, and that a substitute would be filling in for
her to finish out the year, I came to the stark realization that I had
perhaps gone a bit to far.  Whereupon, realizing that, I resolved to both
curtail and tone down most of my magical tomfoolery.

	"In other words, upon the realization that things were beginning to
get a little out of hand, I resolved to cease and desist for the most part.
Much like Star Wars' Luke Skywalker, I resisted the lure of the Dark Side.
Magic, I knew, was nothing to trifle with.  If used incorrectly, or even
frivolously, it could do a great deal of damage.

	"Luckily, what I did to Miss Wainright that day had a positive
result.  As I later learned upon returning to school the following fall,
that little bout of horniness of hers somehow changed her whole outlook on
life.  Having been raised a good Catholic, she had bought into all the
propaganda that the nuns had spewed out about how sex was something that a
girl had to endure, but in no way enjoy.  In other words, Miss Wainright
had been painstakingly taught that a righteous, God fearing woman was also
a frigid woman.  And, like almost everything that the nuns had taught her,
Mary Grace Wainright accepted what she had been taught without ever so much
as questioning its validity.

	"However, owing to that horniness spell of mine, Miss Wainright
learned an invaluable lesson, with that lesson being, sex could be a hell
of a lot of fun, in that it was an extremely pleasurable pursuit.  And, as
I understand it, pursue it she did.  She went out and got a whole new
wardrobe.  She even had her hair styled and started wearing makeup.  I mean
to tell you that when I saw her in school the following fall, I didn't
recognize her at first.  I mean, that's how good she looked.  Her attitude,
as I understand it, had also done a one eighty.

	"Prior to that year, Wainright had earned a reputation for being
one of those teachers that you hoped you'd never get.  That's to say that
she was characterized as a bitch who took sadistic pleasure in making her
students' lives miserable.  However, that all changed.  By all accounts,
her students loved her.  That's to say that whenever I took the opportunity
to poll any of the students during the first few weeks of that fall
semester, I was dutifully informed that they where all pleasantly
surprised, in that they all told me that couldn't have asked for a better
teacher.

	"So, I guess you could say, in a roundabout manner of speaking, I
did good.  That spell of mine worked like a charm.  In effect, it took a
woman who was pretty far down the path to one-day becoming a cynical old
spinster with an embittered heart, and changed her into a vivacious young
woman who found that she was hopelessly in love with life.

	"Oh!  I have to confess that I couldn't resist the urge to jump in
and lend a hand in helping Wainright complete the transition she was
already in the process of making.  I guess when you come right down to it,
you could say that I felt the need to atone for what I did to her the year
before.  But regardless of all of that, what I did was to whip up another
spell to use on her.  However, this one had no malicious intent whatsoever.

	"You see, while the new clothing, and the new hairstyle, and the
makeup did make Mary Wainright look a lot more attractive than the dowdy
way she used to look, I just figured that a few magical enhancements
wouldn't hurt.

	"So, what I did was, I concocted a spell that would, over the
course of a year, incrementally turn her into a truly beautiful, and that's
beautiful as in ravishing, young woman.  And, I must say, that spell of
mine worked like a charm.  Well before that beautification spell had
reached its culmination point, Mary Wainright giddily announced to her
homeroom class that had accepted Mr. Krapp's proposal of marriage, and
would wed him that June, the weekend after school closed for the summer.

	"Would you believe, the last time I checked, they're still
together, and she's the mother of three children of her own?


*****


	"Okay.  That's quite enough of that!  The restaurant is starting to
get crowded, and a few of the waitresses have begun giving us the hairy
eyeball.  So, what say I get back to telling you about me, and how I came
to be a first class magic user in my own right, so that the three of us can
get the hell out of here.

	"Oh!  And, by first class magic user, what I mean to say is that my
overall goal was to be able to affect the natural order of things through
the willful use of my mind's eye alone.  In others words, I wanted to
become a real live, walking, talking, modern day wizard.  While I had
already made up my mind that I wanted to earn my living as a stage
magician, what I wanted to do was to be able to do something that no other
stage magician was doing.

	"That's to say that I wanted to eventually incorporate real magic
into my act, and thereby do stuff no other magician was capable of doing."

	"You mean, like turning me into a girl and then later on, into a
Barbie Doll sized fairy?" Nicole inquired.

	"Exactly!" Magatrix jubilantly replied.  "I mean, damn near every
magician I know has at one time or another gone with some sort of variation
of the classic saw-a-woman-in-half illusion.  But, have you ever seen
anyone have their bottom half dance around the stage, while the top half
circles, Ferris wheel like, through a hovering hula-hoop, the way that I
had those ever so attractive body parts of yours doing last night?

	"No!  You bet you ass you haven't!  And, you're not going to!
"And, do you know why you're not going to see anything like that?  Well,
I'll tell ya'!  You're not going to see anyone else perform that trick,
especially on a circular, or in my particular case, octagonal stage, with
the audience completely surrounding them like I do, because they can't.
And, do you know why they can't?

	"Unlike me, they're all just a bunch of illusionist!  Good ones,
I'll grant you!  But, nevertheless, they're not magic users!  They're only
pretend magic users!

	"Now, I don't want the two of you getting the wrong idea here!
That's to say that I don't want you to think that I'm in any way, shape or
form trying to knock my fellow stage magicians, or impugn on their artistic
abilities, because, take it from me, I'm not!  While I'll admit that some
of their personalities tend to grate on mine from time to time, and there
are a few of them that I just can't stand, most of them are superb
performers in their own right.

	"What I'm trying to get across is, while I liked being a stage
magician, I knew I would never be fully satisfied with creating the
illusion of magic.  Right from the get-go, my goal was to be able to
actually perform genuine metaphysical manipulation, you know, metaphysical
manipulation, as in real magic, on stage.

	"Hell!  While I know how crazy this is going to sound, would you
believe that I never once gave a rat's ass if anyone in the audience ever
believed that what I was doing was actually real magic?  As long as I knew
that I was doing real magic, that was all that mattered to me.

	"Now, I'll grant you I could have used spells to achieve what I set
out to achieve.  And, just so you know, I did at first.  In fact, I did
exactly that for many a year.  But, I've got to tell you that using spells
is a rather time consuming endeavor, in that I was forced to constantly
reformulate them.  Plus, in doing so, it took a lot of time away from all
the research I was attempting to do into how to become a real first class
magic user.

	"Notice I didn't slip up and say 'wizard' that time?  And, do you
know why I didn't?  Well, I'll tell you.  The reason I didn't say wizard,
or warlock, or sorcerer, or enchanter is because, as the two of you will
soon come to realize, there just aren't any.  They simply don't exist.  On
the other hand, witches, or, if you're into semantics, sorceresses and
enchantresses do.

	"You see, only women, who weren't born women, have the ability to
channel magic directly.

	"That's right!  That's what I'm saying!  Only men who are magically
transformed into women have the necessary mental wherewithal to become
first rate magic users.

	"Oh!  And, just so the two of you know, it took me years of
painstaking research to come up with that elusive little gem of
information.  And, for toppers, it isn't actually spelled out anywhere in
all the various arcane texts I perused.  Basically, all I ever found were
very cryptic, to be almost incomprehensible, allusions that tended to
suggest that a sexual, male to female transcendence might be the required
right of passage an individual needed in order to become a first class
magic user.

	"Now, while this isn't exactly germane to what we're talking about,
I'll bet that the two of you will never guess where I did most of the
research that lead me to come up with the conclusion that if I wished to
become a first class magic user, I would have to become a woman.  Would the
two believe that I was at Vatican City when I found the most convincing
piece of evidence that I was indeed on the right track?

	"Now, a lot of people are unaware of this, but the Vatican is the
largest repository in the world for matters that deal with Satanism in
particular, and the occult in general.  And, do you know why that is?

	"Well, I'll tell you.

	"Basically, the reason the Catholic Church has amassed all that
information is due to the time tested tenets of 'Know Thy Enemy' and
'Forearmed is Forewarned.'  I mean, it stands to reason that if you're
going to have to fight Satin and all his works, it sure helps to have his
playbook.

	"Now, I bet that the two of you are wondering how I, as a
non-religious layperson, gained access to that treasure trove of research
material.  Well, let's just say that in my other life, you know, the one in
which I was man, I guess it's fair to say that in a manner of speaking, I
sort of lived a double life.

	"You see, not only was I fairly successful stage magician, but I
guess you could say that I had also secured for myself a comfortable niche
in the publish or perish world of academia.  In other words, as the man I
used to be, I had more doctorates than you could shake a stick at.

	"Well, let's see if I can remember them all.  Okay!  The male me
that I used to be had doctorate degrees in following academic disciplines:
theology, archeology, anthropology, and psychology.  And, just to add
insult to injury, a few years before I opted out of the manhood gig
altogether, I added a doctor's degree in the History of Western
Civilization to the list.

	"Oh!  And, just so you know, the former male me managed to acquire
a whole shitload of Master's degrees as well.  I have, or I should say, the
man I used to be had a Master's degree in Greek, Latin, and Arabic.  Plus,
somewhere along the line, I found time to pick up a Master's degree in
Comparative Religions.  Actually, now that I think about it, I was a little
more than halfway through writing my doctorate thesis in Comparative
Religions when I said the hell with it, and took the plunge into womanhood
that resulted in my gaining the metaphysical wherewithal that allowed me to
become the first class magic user that I am today.

	"Basically, it was that thesis in Comparative Religions, coupled
with all those academic achievements of mine which, after some haggling,
and the direct intervention of a Cardinal I had done some favors for,
eventually gained me supervised access to the documentation that I so
dearly wanted to examine.

	"Well, anyhow...  Though I can't prove a damn thing - Guess what! -
it's my contention that they - whomever in the hell they are! - went and
got it all wrong, in so far as Adam and Eve are concerned.  Or, you might
go so far as to say that they got it sort of back-ass-wards.