Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2004 00:31:41 -0800 (PST)
From: Jeff Exilimar <jeff_exilimar@yahoo.com>
Subject: Probing Mildred - Part 1

	The probe entered orbit around the ordinary blue-green planet and
began scanning the multitude of RF signals emanating from the landmasses.
Quickly translating the video, audio, and text messages that the signals
represented it began looking for a source that met its criteria for
deploying the custom-designed ground rover. A largish metropolitan area,
frequented by people of many nations, a transportation hub, and proximity
to one major military facility was desired... and found. But in its search
it found on one of the odder entertainment channels (backed up with a
cross-check to an educational channel) that a possibly major mistake had
been made to the surface probe. But as the lander descended towards Las
Vegas, Nevada this problem was being addressed.

Mildred Ericcson was far less impressive than her name might indicate.
While possessed with a formidable stature, she had a face that was usually
described as 'mousy'. She tended toward a severe hairstyle (or lack
thereof) and non descript clothing that obscured whatever and all natural
benefits her genes would give her. This suited Mildred (never Millie) just
fine as a part-time student at UNLV and a full time surveillance operator
at the 'Vegas Docks' casino and hotel.

	Late one Friday night, her first weekend off from both school
(midterm had just been taken) and work (everyone needs time off after a
midterm) in ages, she was driving down I-15 towards the casino from Vegas.
The casino was new, and to ensure staff, they were letting her have a room
as part of a one-year employment contract. So she lived at work... and some
would say lived for it too. She was about three-quarters of the way to
Primm when a flash of light swiped across the windscreen of her '88 Calais.
She slowed the car down and began blinking her eyes to clear the spots,
when it happened again.

	Pulling to the side of the road, she peered off towards the
southwest, after donning a pair of sunglasses. Sure enough, the light swept
over the desert hitting her in the eyes and highlighting an old road
leading out toward the darkness toward the light source. Taking the exit
off the freeway, she mad her way down the road. Usually she wasn't this
curious, but something about the light was just compelling and she had a
four-day weekend. She'd been driving down the road for about fifteen
minutes, full of the thrill of adventure, when the car went dead. She tried
restarting the car once... twice... three times when the outside of the car
lit up bright as day. Out the front windshield Mildred saw a short person
moving toward the car. It stopped by her window, which came down
automatically, despite her lack of power windows, and when she turned to
face the stranger it was all she could do to not scream when she looked
into the big grey eyes of Gol Roblik of Alpha Ophiceus VI.

	Mildred say in her car, knowing she should feel scared, but all she
felt was fascination with her situation. No feeling of fear or anxiety, but
a general curiosity about what was going to happen next.

	"It's the light", said the alien."

	"What?"

	"The light. It's making you curious...curiouser. We know enough
about humans that few are curious enough to go chasing into the desert, so
it's making you curious."

	"Programming me?"

	"No. Just stimulating your natural curiosity. Which is why we chose
you. Although you seem to be timid in life, you are very curious about,
well, everything, judging by your library records and surveillance
reports."

	Mildred looked at it blankly, her mouth open in surprise.

	"We've been monitoring Earth's systems for a year, and you were our
final choice. We've got a task for you to fulfill, and we needed someone
who won't freak out just because she's encountered an alien and a probe."

	"A... what?", Mildred asked, a sudden and stereotypical image
popping in her mind for a moment.

	"Funny. I guess, judging by your entertainment channels, you might
be right. But it's not quite that mechanical looking."

	From behind the light walked another figure, and as it came closer
Mildred recognized it as a young girl, about 18 to 21, dressed rather
casually in the fashion of the time, with dark long hair, probably 34C
breasts (a little smaller than her own), flat tummy, slim hips (not like
her slightly roundy bottom), and 'dancers' legs. Her eyes however seemed
slightly vacant.

	"Yes, that's true.", Gol said. "It's her mission here to analyze
and incorporate your cultures here. A lot of the other planets we've been
to either evolved socially homogeneously or have left their differences so
far in the past it makes little difference. But to introduce her to your
societies, we need a guide."

	Mildred gulped and stammered, "M... m... m... me?"

	"Yes. You will share your quarters with our probe here as we have
'arranged' for her to work and go to school with you. In your off time, you
will help her socialize about the city of... what is it? Las Vegas, yes."

	"I'm not good at socializing."

	"Your initial circle of friends is fine to start. But we will ask
you to think bigger. Earth's cultural diversity is too big of a find to
pass up. After five of your years, we will offer the reward of your
choosing, within reason."

	Mildred thought quickly.

	"Yes, even a job off-planet. But there is, in all fairness, a
complication."

	"Complication? Sounds like something dangerous for an investment
like an interstellar robotic probe."

	"Yes. When we encountered your probe, a device called Pioneer 10,
it was damaged and our concept of you was incomplete. We assembled the
fragments as best we could, but our oh... 'Earthologists' made a
fundamental mistake in the probe's design. Lift up your skirt, Lena."

	Mildred looked down at Lena's pubic region and gasped.
"Complication? You have no idea."

	"We will give you a device that will let you wipe out a person's
short term memory in case of accident. Do not misuse it. But you must us it
within eight hours or Lena's condition will stay known. Understand?"

	"Yes. And I will do it. But it must have been a heck of a foul up
to that probe for you to put an eight inch penis on your girl-type probe."

	"Yes, our 'Earthologists' did not understand your exact physiology
from the fragments. We do have faith that you will find a way around this.
Your caution and curiosity will serve us, and yourself, well."

	An impish thought popped into Mildred's mind.

	"If you wish. I imagine she'll have to learn it sometime."

	The light flashed brightly, leaving Lena, the Olds and one very
shocked, flabbergasted and embarrassed Mildred Ericsson in the Nevada
desert.