Date: Mon, 09 Apr 2001 21:38:21 -0400
From: Joan Banks <joanbanks@ivillage.com>
Subject: Reversion

Reversion
By Joan Banks

Chapter one - Discovery

It was still dark when I woke up.  I was in the bed, how did I get to the
bed?  The dogs, thankfully, had decided to either sleep on my wife's side
of the bed or maybe even on the floor.  The radio was blaring some song
from the 80's that I barely remembered, much louder than I usually set it.
I usually keep it relatively quiet so as not to wake up my wife, she
usually got up about an hour after me.

The covers were warm, and I really didn't feel like moving, but decided to
anyway.  "Ow, dammit!" I had kicked a piece of furniture.  It really
shouldn't be there.  All that was on my side of the bed was the closet.

"You okay honey?" a woman's voice called.

It was not my wife.

I stayed quiet.  There was a slight tap on a door and a creak of it
opening, behind me.

There is no door on that side of our bedroom.

"It sounded like you hurt yourself."

"No, I'm..." I clutched my hand to my mouth.

That was not my voice.

The woman in the doorway was my mother.  She looked better than the last
time I had seen her.  She looked great for a woman in her late fifties.

In fact she looked great for a woman in her forties.

As a matter of fact, this was my mother in her thirties.

"I'm fine Mom, just kicked the desk."

"Okay, well make sure you hurry and get your shower, don't want to get the
whole family behind schedule."  A golden retriever pushed passed her and
jumped on my bed.

"Okay Mom."  She turned on the light and closed the door.

Okay, time to take stock.  I had somehow transported into my own body in
the 80s.  I had not yet gone through puberty, that is what was going on
with my voice.  But that couldn't be right, my voice changed very early.

"Hi Cindy."  The dog nuzzled up against me.  She had died twelve years ago,
it was good to see her again.  When she pushed against my chest is when the
next realization hit.  This body was in the throws of puberty, just not the
same one I had experienced before.

I was a girl.

There was a knock again.

"Honey, I know you are picking out your outfit for today and all, but could
you do it after your shower.  You'll make us all late.  And clean up your
room tonight, alright?" Sure enough, the room was as trashed as I ever left
it.

"Sure Mom. Looking good today, by the way."

"Mm hmm... what are you sucking up for?

"Nothing."

"Right."  I trudged to the shower.  We were a one shower family.  We had
two bathrooms but one was only a half.  The house looked much bigger.  I
thought it usually went the other way around.

"Would you hurry up, butthead?  The rest of us need to shower too.  And
don't take all the hot water again."  This came from my brothers' room.  He
still had Rex's voice, but I never heard him with that type of attitude.
He was usually pretty reserved.  I took a quick shower.  I really wanted to
take longer, take stock as it were.  But Rex's pounding put an end to that.
I dried quickly, wrapped the towel around myself and went back to my
room. He pushed past me.

"At least throw your clothes in the hamper."  He threw what I had been
wearing (t- shirt and panties) into the hamper.

Now I had a minute to take stock.  Smallish breasts, some zits, brown hair
at shoulder length, slender but not anorexically thin.  As a thirty year
old man, I was have been impressed. I was ashamed of even thinking about a
naked young girl.

The desk in the room was covered with curlers and makeup.  I decided to put
on some clothes first.

Let me give you some more information.  I am a cross dresser.

I should have been like a kid in a candy store.  I also realized I should
be appropriate.  I looked in the closet and there were only a couple
dresses.  Mostly there were jeans, shirts and those funky overalls that
were so popular in the early 80s.

Disappointed, I ruled out the dresses.  First, how old am I?  Wait a
minute, what was my name?  It sure wasn't or Butthead or Honey (I hoped
not!).  The name on some of the childish artwork on the wall was Rachel, so
I hoped that was my name. The calendar on the wall was for December 1983.
Okay, I am a senior (unless something else changed).  What were girls
wearing when I was a senior?  I looked at the pile of clothes on the floor
(apparently I still wasn't very neat).  Okay that gave me an idea.  I chose
panties and a bra from the dresser (none of that Victoria's Secret stuff in
here, did VS actually exist yet?), the panties were the typical nylon kind
and the bra was pretty generic (34B).  Still it was kind of nice to
actually fill out a bra without falsies.  I put on the jeans and a shirt
that approximated the dirty one on the floor.

Looking in the mirror, I tried to asses myself as a teenage girl would.
Two big zits are what stood out.  I rummaged around and found my stash of
makeup.  I put it on as I had while dressing up a million times.  I was
engrossed in the project and I heard a cough at the door.  It was my
mother.

"Try again."

"What?"

"Remember that talk we had.  Less is more?  Not more is more.  You have a
beautiful face. Don't hide it.  Take it off and try again.  And hurry,
you're going to be late."

"Can't I just fix it later."

"You heard your mother."  It was my Dad. I realized how much he looked like
me....okay, what I used to look like.  I went to the other bathroom and
washed my face.  The water was cold, but I came up with a clean
approximation of cleanliness.  Then I noticed my hair.

"What is wrong with you today?  You never take this long to get ready."

"I'm just out of it."  I decided to attack the hair before it dried in a
funky shape. Not even dreaming of attacking the curling iron and pulled it
back into a ponytail.

There was a honk out front.

"Sean's here, you better get out there."  Sean?  He was my best friend in
high school.  What is he now?  My boyfriend?  There was a knock.

Lisa came in.  Lisa was actually my girlfriend for about a month, but we
always have remained friends.

"Hurry, will you?  Here, put some concealer on those," she pointed to the
zits.  "We'll get the rest at school."  I almost forgot my horn on the way
out the door. At least I was still in Band.

There were five people in the car (it was a pretty big car).  We were
packed pretty tight.  I was ushered to a seat in the back (Sean was
driving, boyfriend question solved).

"It's going to be tight, we have 2 more to pick up."  I ended up on a boys
lap after the final stop (I know I should have remembered his name, but I
was blanking).  My mind was frazzled at the last stop.

"We're going to get Curt and his kid sister, Becky."  My heart was racing a
mile a minute and for a moment I wanted to cry.

Becky is (was) my wife.  The mother of my children (or would be).

An aching sense of loss overcame me.  How would I get back to my life?
Could I?  I missed my children terribly.

Becky and I married quite young, just 3 years from this apparent date.  It
wasn't always a wonderful marriage, but she was my best friend in the
world.  There I was looking at this quiet child, knowing what is going on
in her life, and she appeared so shy and aloof.

Maybe this was why I was here.

How do you solve a problem, very personal, when you've only just met the
person?  I know this girl intimately, but if I push too hard, she'll run
away.

"I am your husband, come back from the future in this female form to.."

Sounds way too crazy.

"I'm psychic, and I know.."

Once again, too crazy.  What could I say to her to convince her?  I knew
the names of her childhood pets, her relatives, her friends.  I had more
information than I know what to do with.

"I know your father beats you.  I know your brother molested you."

It was all true, but would completely freak her out.  Wait a minute, when
did it all start?  It was an open family secret, Becky's mother and father
refusing to believe, but everyone knew the story.  The gist of it was....

It hadn't happened yet.

I had to stop it.

How?

Curt was not really anti-social, more socially retarded.  Probably a result
of similar treatment that Becky got as a child.  We were never really
friends in high school, but we tolerated each other.  I really didn't know
Becky in school, in fact, I wouldn't have believed that Curt had a sister.
Curt was cocky, sure of his sense of humor (bad) and generally just short
of a delinquent.  The girls he went out with in school were not very
popular, and he bad mouthed them for as long as I knew him.  We had a
speaking relationship as Brothers-in-law, but we were definitely not close.
I had to get Curt away from Becky.  I was starting to get a glimmer of how
to distract him from that fateful night my wife.

I didn't like it.

I saw basically two options and I prayed more would come to me:

1. Neutralize the offenders, turn them in (for something I had no proof of
or they hadn't done yet), or kill them (I'm not a killer).  Or...

2. Infiltrate myself into the family to stop their father and somehow
distract Curt and make it so he would not do the terrible deed.  Maybe
stopping their father would stop Curt.  Wishful thinking.  I am not that
naive.

I almost gagged at the thought: I had to seduce my brother-in-law.

Band met first period.  I found I was no longer first chair, as I had been
through high school, but third.  Must actually be some sexism thing,
because when we played, I was still better than them.  Better than any of
them, actually, I had played in college and somehow, I kept those skills.

They didn't notice.

At least I had done my homework.  My schedule was inside the peechee that I
was carrying around (I found my locker combo, too).  This was before
everyone was carrying backpacks around campuses so several trips to the
locker were necessary.

I thought about the hundreds of stories I had read.  Change sex in high
school and it seemed to be automatic that you became a cheerleader and
homecoming queen (with a built in boyfriend).

Most girls aren't cheerleaders, it takes a certain amount of gymnastic
skill and lots of shmoozing. It was an elite club.

I wasn't a member.

Homecoming was over and I was a Band geek.

I was actually popular when I went to high school (as the real me).  I
dated often and had lots of friends.  I wasn't part of the 'popular crowd'
but who cares, I had friends.  I still had friends, even in this form.

Sean drove us all home at the end of the day.  Becky wasn't in the car but
we were still stacked pretty deep.

I sat on Curts' lap.

I was convinced of my mission.  I just had to implement it.


Chapter 2 - The Night Before

"I thought you promised to stop.  You said you would never do this again."
Becky, my wife, was somewhere between tears and rage (both was my guess).

I was in our bedroom, wearing a dress that she wore when she was much
bigger.  My face was painted (which still didn't hide the fear and shock on
my face).  Becky was not going to come home tonight; she and the kids were
staying with her parents.  Becky was sick, so instead of infecting
everyone, she decided to come home and share it with me.

"Do you want to be a woman?  Is that it?"

"No honey, I'm sorry.  I won't do it again."

"At least it isn't in front of the children." She mused.  She was starting
to calm down a little bit.

"Take that stuff off.  You make me sick."  I complied.  I started to hang
the dress in her closet...

"Where did you get that bra?  It isn't one of mine."  I turned a little
red.

"Penney's"

"You went bra shopping?  What would people think?"  In truth, I usually
said it was for my wife (although what wife would send out her husband to
buy a bra I haven't met yet).  I stayed silent.  I washed the makeup off
and dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.  I walked back out to the living room.

"I do love you, you know."

"I know, I just wish you would stop this."

"I'll try, I will succeed this time..." she went to the hall closet and
threw a comforter and pillow on to the couch.

"No you won't."  She went to the bedroom and locked the door.

Chapter 3 - The Plan


In general, this was the plan.  Be Curts' girlfriend (gag), infiltrate my
way into the house and gain Becky's confidence.  Get Becky (or Curt) to
turn in their Father and get him to stop the beatings.  At all cost stop
Curt's abuse of Becky.

It was time to take stock.  I looked at what I was.  I really wasn't fat
(an anorexic might think so) but as far as the other girls at school, I
really didn't stand out.  Waist a little thick for my taste and breasts a
little small.  Still there was something to work with.

I am going to sound a little full of myself for a second.

Throughout high school, there were girls who liked me.  They knew, I knew
it, They didn't know I knew it.  The problem was, I didn't like to have a
girl push herself on me.  I don't know if I felt I was being cheated out of
the chase or what.  The more they pushed, the more I ran.  I stayed
oblivious to their advances.

Okay, end of the ego moment.

I didn't want to go through with that from this perspective.  If I want
this to work, then the timing had to be right.  I had three months to stop
this from progressing.  From experience I know that a typical teenage
relationship lasts at max, about six weeks.  There are exceptions, but I
definitely did not want that relationship with bro..Curt.  I had to be
subtle.

The first thing I did was get my senior pictures out of the closet.
Luckily, our storage system hadn't changed.  I took a copy and went to my
room.  I know I had the house to myself for at least a couple hours (all
things remaining equal).  I resolved to get my face and hair closer to what
I had portrayed before.

The face wasn't really a problem.  I no longer had to deal with beard
cover.  Except for the zits (which weren't too bad) it was a nice face.
The makeup took all of half an hour to get right.

Hair was another thing altogether.  I had short hair all my life.  At most
it extended to my collar.  Nothing like this mop I was dealing with.  I
played with mousse, and gel and curling irons, but nothing was helping.  I
was about ready to shave my head when the phone rang.  It was Lisa.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

"No, why?"

"You call me everyday as soon as Sean drops you off. This is the first time
you didn't, why?"

"I am such a flake.  I don't know what's gotten into me.  I've been trying
to style my hair."

"You?  You really need to leave that to the pro."

"Will you help?"

"Duh, want to stay for dinner?  Drive my little brother crazy with all this
female influence in the house..."

"Can you get me a lift over?"

"Something wrong with your car?"  she asked.  Wow, I am a dunce, the old
green beast was right in front of the house, just like it always was.

"Nothing wrong with it, like I said, I'm a flake."

It had been 15 years but I still remembered how to get to Lisa's house.  It
only took a couple minutes to get there.

"Hi Rach.." Lisa opened the door "Wow, that is a disaster!" she groped at
my hair.

"Thanks a lot.  HELP!"

"Nice birds nest Rachel." Lisa's brother said from the couch.

"Get lost twerp."  The girls went upstairs.

"Now what did you want to do?" Lisa asked.  All the hair looked so far out
of date, I didn't know where to begin.

"I need to make a new me.  I am in your hands."

"Your parents know your staying for dinner?"

"Knew I forgot something."  I was thinking in my 33 year old man
responsibility level.  I didn't have to tell anyone where I was going; I
didn't have to answer to anyone.  This, of course, is not true for a
17-year-old girl.  I had to change my mindset.  I called home, luckily my
parents' number still hadn't changed up to the point when all this
happened.  I left a number on the answering machine.

Lisa worked with my hair, and makeup.  It felt like my stereotype of a
slumber party.  She told me that I came real close to damaging my hair with
the curling iron.  In the end, I was pretty happy with the result.  Not
super glamorous but better than what I had come up with.  The makeup was
done in a way my mother would approve of.

I got home around eight that night.  My parents were waiting in the living
room, looking very unhappy.

"Young lady, where have you been?"

"I left a m...."

"Don't bother lying to us.  We have been worried sick.  This is totally
irresponsible of you."

"It was on the machine!"

"There were no messages." My Mother said "You used to be so responsible.
Are you on drugs?"

"Why do you always default to that!  No, I am not on drugs.  I was having
dinner at Lisa's!"

"Don't raise your voice to your mother."

"I am very disappointed..." Mom said.

"You're grounded for a week."  My father said "and I'll take those car
keys!"

"This is totally unfair!"  I threw the keys at my father.

"The dishes and laundry are waiting, young lady.  It is your turn."

I slammed the door to my room and threw myself on the bed.  A couple
minutes later my mother knocked on the door.

"Honey, just fold the laundry, okay?  Just ask next time, okay?"

"Am I still grounded?"

"Yes, your father thought you were hurt.  He was so scared, you know what
can happen to a young girl in the middle of the night."

"Please Mother, it is barely 8."

"Don't fight it.  You have to think more defensively."

"Fine."  I went out and folded laundry.

This was definitely not the glamorous lifestyle of being a woman that I had
fantasized about.  This was reality.  I was a girl who was subjugated to
her parents and full of the pressures of teenage life, it sucked.

I had a nylon nightgown in the drawer and I laid out the clothes for school
the next day.  Before I went to sleep, I did a bunch of crunches (did they
even have those yet?) and some pushups (I did men's pushups, but only 10).
I lasted about a half hour in the nightgown before I put some pajamas on.
I had forgotten how cold it was in Washington in the winter.

The next morning went much smoother.  I actually had some bearings and a
plan of attack.  I actually got to eat breakfast before Sean arrived.  I
had put myself together a little differently; I actually had a goal and
some information.

Since I had to get Curt, I had dressed just for him.  I knew his ex wife
and his girlfriends in high school.  I knew his tastes.

This plan had to be implemented slowly.  I spent a little more time in his
vicinity.  Eventually I would start using the perfume I know his ex used.
But step one was a little light flirting, mainly eye contact.

I started sitting where he could see me at lunch, and made sure not to
stare at him.  Also I started saying 'Hi' to Becky when I passed her.  She
started to open up, but still remained aloof.

It was almost a good thing that I was grounded for the next week.

My period started.

I know how this is supposed to be some glorious affirmation of womanhood
and all.  I guess in some way it was.

It was gross.

Being married over a decade, I knew the basics.  Toxic shock was a real
scare at the time so Mom did not allow me to use tampons (I didn't ask
permission, just to buy some at the store. Whew, what a lecture!), so I was
stuck with pads.  I learned why my wife had certain panties just for her
period.

By the way, it was not a big dramatic event. I've heard the stories of
having to wear a sweater around my waist because of being surprised by it.
It just didn't happen that way.  A few spots one morning and it slowly
crept up over a day.  No big deal, just gross.

Over the course of the week I had surmised that I had only had two
boyfriends.  Neither one lasted longer than three weeks, and I was
currently available.  In an attempt to play 'hard to get' I started
innocently flirting with another guy in band, Eric.  Thinking that it would
go nowhere, I guess I let it go a little far.  He asked me out.

It was a bit of a surprise and before I knew it I said yes.

He was a nice enough guy.  I had seen the movie before, but I had seen ALL
the movies before, even the ones that hadn't been released yet (I even knew
the secrets of the next Star Wars movie.  Shh, don't tell anyone).  Anyway
it was pleasant enough, I ran into my next problem.

I was dealing with a child.

I didn't mind when he tried to put his arm around me.  It was kind of cute,
how shy he was about it.  It's when he tried to go a little further
(kissing) that I was really uncomfortable.  I felt like I was taking
advantage of a child.  I pushed him away.

"Eric, that's enough."

"Sorry, it's just that...I like you."

"I didn't think you'd ask me out if you didn't.  Just slow down, okay.  I
like you too..." It was true.  Eric was a good friend to me even into
college.  We still keep in touch from time to time.  He looked like he was
going to cry.  Begrudgingly, I took his hand.  He perked up instantly, with
a soupy smile on his face.  I let it be.

I had to remember I was now a 17 year old girl, there was nothing immoral
about what was going on.  I just had to make sure I focused on the plan.
Still this might fit into the plan, I still had at least four weeks before
I could take the next step.  Might build up the jealousy factor....

Eric was dropping me off at the house.  This was weird, I always dropped my
dates off.  He walked me to the door.  I swallowed my pride.

"Eric, I had a really nice time tonight..."

"Me too. Can we do it again sometime?"  I leaned to him looked up and
kissed him on the cheek.

"I'd like that."

"Cool."  I actually giggled, something I hadn't done yet.  I guess this was
rubbing off on me.  I went inside.

My intention was just to date Eric a couple times, I had forgotten about
high school dating.  Apparently we were now at some level of going steady.
There was hand holding and kissing at least a couple times a day.  I
actually enjoyed the attention, but my heart wasn't in it and I went
through the motions.

Becky started joining us at lunch, she was starting to really open up.  All
was going pretty well.  I just had to time the break up with Eric just
right.  Right after the new year, I had to step up the stakes with Curt.

My makeover plan was working pretty well.  I had trimmed off ten pounds and
really tightened up.  I started wearing dresses more often, which really
takes a lot of motivation in 30-degree weather.

Eric broke up with me, and saved me the trouble.  It was a little
bittersweet, I felt pretty dejected about the whole thing.  I guess he
really had been growing on me.  We still left as friends; he just was very
perceptive in that I just wasn't into the relationship.

The whole situation was good and bad.  On the good side, I got to see my
Grandparents again.  They had died (will die, I hate the language problems
with this) several years ago.  On the bad side I was a new target for my
Grandmother and Mother Team (Why don't you dress nicer?  You should style
your hair this way.  Too much makeup).  Before it was just my Grandmother
picking on my Mom, now they have a concerted effort against me.  On the
really bad, I missed my kids.  Would they ever be born?  I cried when I
thought about it.

My theory, tenuous as it was, was something close to a Quantum Leap
episode.  I right the wrongs of the past and I get to come back to the
future.  There are some basic problems with this theory, I know.  If I fix
the past so it is different than my past, will my future even exist?  You
can get a headache just thinking about it.

January rolled around and I was really into this role.  It really didn't
feel like a role anymore, just my life.  Focusing on the problems that I
had to solve turned out to be the only way I didn't just fall into my
normal life as a teenage girl.  It was time to implement the plan.

"Curt, could you teach me to play the drums?"  I held the sticks awkwardly
"I always wanted to learn."

I had started catching his eye again. I thought this was the best way to
lure him in, the 'helpless girl' routine.

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Well...how do I hold the sticks?"  I was baiting him into taking the
stick and putting my hand in the right position.  I gave him a glance as he
adjusted the stick.

"Thank you."  I proceeded to hit the drum awkwardly.

"That's not how to do it."  He went to the drum next to mine and showed me
the right way.

"You are soo good at this.  I don't think I'll ever get it." Eventually I
got him to stand behind me and hold my hands and hit the drum for me.

"If you would be my teacher, I would be so grateful."

"Uhh..okay."  ever the social prodigy.  I was impressed by his suave
performance (not).

We set up lessons for every day (I really wanted to learn the drums), and
our conversation drifted into other avenues.  I was giving the signals (as
I knew them, maybe I didn't know them all) that I was available and
interested.  He warmed to the idea.

Curt was socially retarded, I already explained that.  I took it as my task
to fix that.  Maybe that is where the other women in his life went wrong,
but I had a lot more riding on this.  Our first date consisted of burning
donuts on a local golf course in his beat up little car.  Wow, was that
excitement or what.  I worked a little conditioning into his diet after
that winner of an evening.  Every time he took me to some place a little
civilized, I rewarded him.  A peck on the cheek, a kiss on the mouth,
looking the other way when he 'accidently' brushed my breast.  It took a
while, but he did take the hint, he actually started to be a bit of a
romantic.  We were still two weeks out from the day when he does the
unspeakable.  Knowing what he did to her really got me angry, in truth, I
wanted to cut off his balls.  On the other hand, I don't know of any
repeats of the situation and I totally adore my niece and nephew.  I wanted
to see them again.

I was a bit surprised when Curt asked me over to his parents for dinner.
This was a bit of a surprise, and totally against all I knew about this
family.  Becky had told me that both she and her brother kept their dates
well away from their parents.  I was curious.

My in-laws (Bob and Doris) were on their company best.  My father-in-law
was always a wonderful host, it was when the family was alone that he went
into a sort of 'ogre' mode.  I had already met them (this time around) in
passing, but all-in-all I hadn't really got to know them.  Doris greeted me
at the door with a hug.

"Hi, I'm Curt's Mother.  We just wanted to meet the girl who is taming our
little monster..."

"Mom!"

"Oh hush, Curt.  I'm only joking.(she wasn't)" she shushed him and let me
inside.  Curt normally greeted me with a hug, but strangely seemed almost
afraid to touch me.

"Hi." He said, giving his Mom a sideways glance.

"Hi." We stood in the entryway for a moment.  His mother waited expectantly
for a moment and then went up to the kitchen.

"Want to play some video games?" He liked to play video games, they had one
of the old Atari systems (okay, not so old then).  I usually gave him a run
for his money on any game he picked.  He usually won.

I usually let him win.

"Hi Rachel."

"Oh hi Beck.  What's up?"

"Want to see my dress for the dance?"  There was a formal dance coming up.
I know for a fact that Becky never went to it, but now she had a date.  The
date idea made me incredibly jealous, but what was I going to do, beat him
up?

"I'd love to.  'scuse us, honey."  I kissed him on the forehead as I got
up.  He was glued to the game anyway.  She led me to her room.

"I hear you're going with Sean."  She turned a little red.

"Yeah, he asked me two weeks ago."

"A senior, pretty impressive."  Becky had been added to our little gang at
lunch.  This had elevated her social status to 'available'.  Besides,
senior guys always go out with sophomore girls, it was the cycle of life.
Girls mature much faster anyway (I hate to admit it, but it sure seems true
from this angle).  Becky's room was spotless, as always.

"So what did you do to my brother?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's NICE.  I mean he barely ever makes me do his chores anymore.  He's
actually not so bad to be around."

"He's a pussycat.  A little rough around the edges, sure, but he's not so
bad."  I wanted to gag on what I had said.  I was vacillating between
hating Curt for something he hadn't done yet and kind of liking him.  He
was fun to be around now.  I liked the banter we had, in many ways it was
similar to what Becky and I had while we were dating.

I have to focus.  The idea is to fix this family and get back to my own.
It's time I fixed my life back home too.  Of course there was nothing I
could do about that here.  To stop wearing women's clothing is awfully hard
to do when you are a woman.

Dinner was fairly typical for any family.  Curt's mother portioned out the
courses.  No one was given a choice.  She had a strange rule with the main
dish:

"Two for the boys and one for the girls."  She was trying to watch Becky's
figure for her, but she abided by the rule for herself, as well.  Becky had
a different shape than her mother, she had hips.  Becky could weigh 90
pounds and she would still have hips, her mother didn't so she had deemed
Becky to be fat.  The rule even applied to Grandmothers and any other woman
at the table.  She pared out to each of us:

Dad got two.

Curt got two.

Becky got one.

She got one.  All fairly standard for a family meal, except for me.

I got two. Two?

Fair enough, she had always given me two, but I was a man before.  She
looked me in the eye, almost knowingly, as she gave me the second portion.
Did she know?  How the heck could I ask that question?  I concentrated on
taking ladylike bites.  It was a pleasant meal.  Afterwards, I insisted on
doing the dishes.  Doris stayed to show me where everything went.  We sent
the rest of the family away.

"I have this cousin," I started "They've got a house like this.  I really
think this house is beautiful, did you decorate it yourself?" a head shake
"Anyway, it is really great for their kids.  They have two Emily and
Andrew..." I named my kids.

"Yes, Ray, I know all about my Grandchildren..."

"So you know, what has happened to me?"

"Of course."

"What?"

"I know you are a wonderful young lady...Rachel."

"What did you do?"

I often thought my mother-in-law was a witch.  Who knew?

"My daughter called me in tears.  You know, that wonderful girl downstairs?
She has had a horrible life.  I planned to banish you here, unable to put
the pieces back the way they were.  You were not going to destroy my
daughters life again."

"How are Emily and Andrew?"

"They are fine.  Anyway, a strange thing started happening after you left.
My daughter seemed happy.  I expected her to be happy, being rid of you,
but that wasn't the case.  She still loved that perverted man she had
married.  This happened several weeks after you had gone.  This was
something else.  She was affectionate with her father.  She had always been
afraid to be very close to him since high school.  Some block to their
relationship had been lifted.  Then I figured out where the change took
place, when you started dating my son."

"So it worked already?"

"You did this on purpose?"

"Certainly, I thought that was why I was here to stop the abuse and
well...the other thing."

"What other thing?"

"When Curtis..."

"That never happened, do you understand?  Becky made that up!" she was
really into the denial now "There is nothing else to fix."  "How is Becky
and Curt's relationship now?" she knew I meant in the future "They've never
been close...ohh, you are just trying to confuse things."  "What if it is
true?  What if..." Doris had to steady herself against the counter...
"What's wrong?"  "Energy is low, I can't stay long.  I
am.... Well.... Possessing my own body in the past.  I wanted to get to
the bottom of this." She appeared to be coming to a decision "Fine, if it
is true, fix it.  I'll know if you do, I will lift the curse, you will be
rewarded...Not much more time here.."

"Tell Becky and the kids I love them...."

"What?" Doris seemed very confused for a moment "Why would I do that?  What
kids?"  she appeared to waking from a sleep.  I knew I had to think fast.

"That was the end of the story.  Are you alright, maybe you should sit
down.  Can I get you some water?"

"You're Rachel, right?"

"Maybe you should lie down for a bit.  Yes, I'm Rachel, I'm Curt's
girlfriend. Curt!"  he showed up within a few moments.

"Your Mom's not feeling well, can you help me with her?"  Bob showed up a
moment later and led her off to the bedroom.

"Curt, why don't you take your little friend home?" his father
asked/commanded.

'Little Friend' indeed.  Curt drove me home.

"I really like your family." I told him.

"They like you too." Came the automatic reply.  He really didn't know one
way or the other.

"Becky showed me her dress for the dance.  It's really pretty."

"I meant to ask you about that.  I guess I just assumed that we would be
going, but I haven't actually asked..."

"Yes?"

"So do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Will you go to the freakin' dance with me?"

"Of course, Curtis, I would love to." I gave him a quick kiss before going
into the house.  He wanted more, but I was reminded of my formerly male
status and was not in the mood for such things.  The stakes were raised
now.  If I fixed this, I could go home to my family.  I was missing them
terribly and I was feeling pretty bad that my message had not gone through.

I was approaching a crucial time.  It was the night of the dance that
everything had happened, and that was a mere two weeks away.  The plan was
relatively simple, keep Curt out of the house that night.

In the past that I knew about, Curt had taken it upon himself to join the
Army during the last trimester of school.  My guess is that it was related
directly to that which I was trying to prevent, the abuse of Becky.  Curt
lasted one tour in the Army and went from loser job to loser job after
that.

Here was another question, what had really changed to affect the
relationship with Curt and Becky's Father?  Is my dating Curt enough to do
that?  I know he was acting differently than I have ever known, but why
would that change the Father?

Theory: Bob was worried about his son.  He stressed day and night that he
would be a loser and socially retarded.  Becky was an extremely shy girl,
would she ever find someone?  The fact that their attitudes had changed and
their outlook appeared so much better took off enough stress to keep him
from becoming abusive.

So what drove Curt to his downfall?  Obviously is hadn't changed or Doris
would have acknowledged it.  What will still drive him to it?  I was really
starting to care about him and I could not even think of him doing anything
like what Becky had accused him of.  Must think about that.

Schoolwork really wasn't much of a problem. The main obstacle was the lack
of PC's.  Oh, they existed, we just couldn't afford them.  I was used to
writing my papers on a PC.  Get the outline done, finesse it, and then fill
in the blanks.  It takes a lot longer on a pad of paper and a typewriter.
I had knowledge, which helped, most of my problem was getting it onto
paper.

Lisa and I went a little crazy dress shopping.  Then, of course, there was
shoe shopping, jewelry, lingerie (went a little crazy for a while getting
real lingerie) and new makeup.  My styles were not really those of the
time, I liked the stuff that was coming up in the next couple years better,
and I shopped to that standard.  Lisa thought I was a little nuts, but she
liked the style.  She didn't copy it, but she liked it.

My dress was sexy, I'll have to admit it.  It showed ample cleavage and leg
(The cleavage being a wonderful engineering feat of strategic support).
The dress showed off my newer hard body.  Lisa had taught me the best
methods for doing my hair and we experimented with makeup for days.  The
day of the dance was approaching.  The day before the dance, I wanted to
get ready to say goodbye to my family.

"Dad, Mom, can we talk?"  I wanted to phrase everything like it wasn't a
goodbye, which could scare them.

"Sure, Baby, what's going on?"

"I just wanted to let you guys know that I love you a lot." This was wrong,
it was sounding like a goodbye.  They looked suspicious.

"We love you too, honey.  What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  I just.." Dammit, I was almost liking this life.  I was sure
having a lot more fun this time around.  I felt closer to my family than
ever.

"I just wanted to tell you what I wanted for my Birthday."  They looked
relieved.

"Okay..."

"There's this stock, and I just like the sound of it.  I would like to get
100 shares."

"Stock, what do you know about stock?"

"A little, this one is really important to me.  Just get me this, okay,
nothing else...and don't let me change my mind."

"Okay, what is this stock?"  I told them.  I dumped 13 years of investment
wisdom on them.  They must have thought I was crazy, like I had joined a
cult, but they listened.  I knew it all by heart, I just wrote it down in
half a dozen places in the house.  I even gave a copy to my Grandparents to
put in their safety deposit box, in a sealed envelope.  I knew my chances
of getting them to listen were slim.  I just hoped that after they saw how
one stock did, they would heed the rest.  My conscience was clear, I had
tried to help my family.  I didn't know if the changes I did here would
truly effect the future, but at least some of it did.  I only had one task
left.

Chapter 4- The Dance

Curtis arrived in his fathers' car in a wonderful tuxedo.  He came in the
house for the requisite pictures by my parents and the pinning of the
corsage.  It was beautiful and he was making me feel like a princess.  I
have to remember to be nicer to him when I get back to my real life.  He
got the car door for me and doted on me the entire evening.  The restaurant
was expensive.  He was totally and completely charming.

I expected to spend time with him all evening. Our group of friends had
plans for after the dance, we were supposed to go to Lisa's house for a
while and then we were leaving early in the morning on a brunch cruise on
Puget Sound.  We were all staying at Lisa's (with parental permission) and
we were going to be well chaperoned.  Curt stays away from Becky for the
night, problem solved and I go back to the future, that was the deal.  Curt
even danced that night.  I had never had any luck on that front before.  I
think I could have slow danced with him all night long.  I was definitely
going to miss being a girl....

We drove off for a while on our own prior to going to Lisa's.  We started
some pretty heavy kissing and he continued to try to grope my breast.  I
kept pushing his hand away, gently.  He got a little rougher and more
insistent. Eventually I got a little frustrated.

"No Curtis, that isn't going to happen!" I pushed him away forcefully.

"Fine, let me just take you home."

"Fine!" I was very angry at this point.  I just got out of the car and
slammed the door on my way inside.  He squealed his tires pulling away.

"Rach, that guy is upset." It was my brother, Rex. "No telling what he's
going to do..."

That's when it hit me.  I caused the very thing I was trying to prevent.  I
hurt someone that I care very deeply about.

For a moment I didn't know if I meant Becky or Curt.  I jumped in my car.

Driving in heels is a bit of a challenge. Luckily I didn't get a ticket.  I
pulled up to his house just as he was getting out of his car.  He stared at
me.

"What, come to gloat?"

"No, you jerk.  To apologize.  I led you on.  I wasn't sure..."

"And now?" he asked.  I answered him with the most toe-curling kiss I could
muster.  It felt right.

"My folks are in Canada tonight..." he tried to lead me up to their
house.  I let myself be led.  Becky was already home, her wrap was in the
living room.  No lights were on in the house.  She must have been asleep.

Curtis was eager and awkward and totally lovable.  He was done in seconds.
I told him it was okay, it was normal.  The next time lasted much longer,
and better.

I had no idea it could be like this.

I had done my job.  Becky was safe.  Apparently I had relieved his need.
It was time to go home.  After getting him to hold me for a while, he fell
asleep.  I went to the bathroom to clean up.

As I washed I talked to Doris as if she were listening on some hidden
microphone.

"Okay Doris, everything is fixed, now let me come home." No answer.  Since
the last time it happened while I was asleep, I went to bed.  Didn't sleep
much, but did have some fun.

We got up early and joined everyone for the cruise.  It was a heavenly
romantic day.  I was in love.

That night afterwards, my Dad wanted to talk to me.

"Honey, I did some research into that stock.  It's a little computer
company that doesn't look like much.  If fact nobody I talked to even heard
of Microsoft..."

"Microwho? Daddy I don't know what you're talking about.  I don't know
about any stocks..."

Chapter 5 - Coda

"....and the handsome Prince was given a blessing by his Fairy Godmother.
All his memories of the horrible things he had done, that were now erased
from the past, were gone..." My Mother-in-law, Doris was reading to my
six year old, Andrew (11 hours in labor, and well worth it).

"...and all he could remember was his new life which was rich and full of
joy..." Andrew loved this story, his sister Emily loved it too (but she
was being doted on by my parents in the other room).  My wonderful husband
Curt (my high school Sweetheart) put his arms around me as I listened to
the story once again.

"...and they lived happily ever after."  She closed the book and smiled
at me.  As if on cue, the doorbell rang.  Becky, large with her second
pregnancy, glowed with happiness.  Her husband, Sean, carried my wonderful
Niece on his shoulders, she instantly wanted down.

"Aunt Rachel, Aunt Rachel...." I held my arms up and took her into a huge
hug.  This is a wonderful family.  We are close and loving.  I would do
anything; give anything just to keep them happy.

And they lived happily ever after.

joanbanks@ivillage.com
The Story Alcove
http://www.geocities.com/dejahcarter