4  _Joe_Bates_Saga___________________________________________________________


4.  Chapter :      The Meeting



The traffic was heavy.  Joe drove as quickly as he could to his lunch
appointment with his attorney and best friend, Jay Logan.

It was about ten minutes after the agreed upon time when he finally
pulled into the parking lot of the Beacher Restaurant.  He parked,
awkwardly got out of his sports car wearing the skirt and heels, and
tried to walk into the establishment with as much dignity as he could
muster.  He stepped up to the head waiter's podium, and told the young
lady that he was to meet with a friend, who might already be here.  She
asked his name, and he said Joe Bates.  She looked at her notes, and
said, "Please follow me, Ms.  Bates." Joe walked behind her and almost
fell against her as they went down a few heavily carpeted steps.  She
led him to a softly lighted table where he saw his pal Jay seated,
sipping on a Corona.

Jay looked up at him, confused, and said, "May I help you, ma'am?"

Joe did not know exactly what to say, or how to start.  He did not want
to go into an explanation with the waiter standing there, so he just
said, "May I sit, Mr.  Logan?"

Jay stood and pulled out a chair for Joe as he took his seat.  At the
waiter's inquiry, he ordered some white wine.  The waiter said, "Of
course," and went away.  Jay looked at him, puzzled.  Joe just stared
at Jay.  Before, he was larger, and heavier than Jay, who now seemed
huge.  Joe got up his courage, and blurted out, "Jay, it's me, Joe!"

Jay grinned, "Right, and I'm Margaret Thatcher!"

Joe had not realized that he might have trouble convincing his best
buddy who he was, but the problem was quickly becoming evident.

"Jay, I don't know what has happened to me," he pleaded, "but I need
your help."

Jay looked at his watch, and said, "It's a little late for an April
fools' joke, don't you think?" Then he said, "I'm pleased to meet you.
I didn't even know Joe had a sister, much less one as good looking as
you."

"Oh, no!" thought Joe.  "Now he thinks I'm my sister!" He pushed on,
though, saying, "Jay, I don't have a sister, and you know it, and don't
give me any come-on crap."

Jay looked at him closely.  "What's going on here?" he asked.

"I really wish I knew," Joe said.  "I woke up this morning looking like
this, and I don't have clue as to what is going on."

"You're serious, aren't you?" Jay said.

"Never been more serious in my life, Jay," Joe answered.  "I really
don't know what I should do.  If you saw what I did this morning, you
wouldn't believe it."

"I'm not sure I do," said Jay.

"Okay," Joe said.  "Remember Wednesday evening, at the health club, you
snapped the ball at me, and I almost broke my neck trying to get to it?
My knee still hurts." He watched for signs of acknowledgment on Jay's
face.

"Okay," Jay replied.  "Let's say you are my friend Joe, and I must
admit your face does look a lot like him.  What can I possibly do for
you?"

"I have to prove to everybody that I am still Joe Bates no matter how I
look on the outside," Joe returned.  "I know you can help me do it.
Then I need to get medical help to get my normal features back, or, God
help me, if I'm stuck like this, I've got to get my records changed so
that I can function without the legal problems I know that I will have.
My personal problems, I'm not sure about.  I don't even know what they
all are yet."

"Well, don't worry, Joe, I'll help," said Jay, seeing his friend
looking so grim.  "I'm not sure what will have to be done, but we will
do whatever is necessary to help you.  Can I ask a rather personal
question, though, Joe?"

"Sure, Jay," Joe answered.  "I trust you, and besides, you're my only
hope right now."

"I'm embarrassed to ask, but I'm about to die of curiosity," Jay said.
"Joe, you sure look like a woman.  Are you female?"

Joe looked at his buddy, and saw his longtime pal was eyeing his
curves.  "I don't know, Jay," he said.  "I don't really know what I am,
but I can tell you that what you see is all me.  You should see me in
Jockey shorts." He grinned at his buddy, saying, "I don't believe I'll
be chasing babes with you, for a while at least, much as I would like
to.  I don't feel like a woman.  In fact, I feel like a rooster in the
hen house.  You can't imagine what it's like just to take a shower
looking like this.  I don't know if my heart can take it." He figured
Jay would understand his predicament if anybody would, or could.

The waiter returned with Joe's wine, and brought the menu.  Jay said,
"Give us a few moments, please." The waiter nodded, and left.  "I think
I'll have just the salad bar," he said, turning back to Joe.

Joe agreed.  He was not even hungry.  His stomach had never quit
feeling like a can of worms.  He felt the warmth of the wine as it went
down.  "Everything is more pronounced now," he thought.  "I could
probably get tipsy on this little glass of wine, especially since I
have yet to eat anything today."

When the waiter returned, they ordered.  They both went to the salad
bar together.  Jay followed, watching his friend walk awkwardly in the
heeled shoes.  When they returned to their tables, he said.  "Joe, if I
had any doubts about you telling the truth, watching you walk to the
salad bar removed them.  No real woman would walk like that if she
tried."

"You should try it sometime, pal," Joe said, smiling demurely, "and
walking in these shoes isn't the half of it."

As they ate, Jay discussed some of the things they would need to do.
He said he had a friend on the police force, who was a specialist in
proving identification, usually on murder related cases where the
victim is unknown.

"You were in the Air Force, so there's a record of your fingerprints,"
Jay said.  "Do you think your prints have changed?"

Joe said, "I don't know, Jay.  I do know that my knee is still sprained
from the other night with you, and even though my arms are smaller, my
right one still has scars I received from an auto accident twelve years
ago.  Damn it, I don't know what's happened to me!  I feel the same, at
least as much as is possible, but I do seem to look female.  If you're
having a problem with this, think about it from my side.  I have to
live with it continuously." Joe looked like he was ready to burst into
tears.

"I'll call you as soon as I make some contacts, probably tomorrow
morning," Jay said, as they finished lunch.  "We'll get this worked out
as quickly as we can.  What are you going to do now?"

"I can't go to work like this, so I guess I'll go home," said Joe.  "I
have to call Linda, but I don't know what I'm going to tell her.  Hell,
I've got her slip on!" He blushed, continuing, "This is so
embarrassing.  I'm so worked up and tense, I don't know what to do."

Jay looked at his confused and dejected friend, not knowing what to
say.  "Hey, it's Friday," he said.  "Let's meet at the health club at
five-thirty, for our usual game."

"Aw...  uh...  Jay I don't know," Joe protested.  "I don't know if I'm
ready for that."

"Hell, Joe," Jay countered, "exercise is just what you need to relieve
tension, and it might take your mind off your problems for a little
while."

"Well, okay.  I'll be there, but I don't know how well I can play.  I
haven't been myself lately," Joe said, realizing how funny it sounded
only after he said it.

"I'll get this one," said Jay, as the waiter came up with the check
when they were finished with lunch, "but I expect to see you this
evening."

"I'll meet you there," Joe promised.  He was concerned about how he
would react in a meat market like the health club, but he decided he
could not hide under a rock either.

As he walked out to his car, he thought of what he would need to play
racquetball, and where he would go to get those things.  He decided
that he must go back to his apartment to take stock, and plan another
shopping sortie.

Joe drove back to his apartment, thinking, and decided that he should
call Linda.  She would be expecting a call, and he decided he had
better make one.  As he sat by the phone, he considered what he should
say.  What he would do.  He dialed Linda's number.  After a few rings
he heard Linda answer, "Hello."

"Linda?" Joe asked, trying to think of something to say.  "What's up?"

"Who is this?" Linda asked, confused.

"Linda, it's me, Joe," he answered.

"Joe?" Linda replied.  "Joe, what's the matter?  You sound strange.  Is
something wrong?"

"Linda, I have to talk to you," Joe said nervously.  "I have a little
problem.  Can I pick you up about seven-thirty, so we can talk?"

"Sure, Joe, but what's the matter?" Linda said, sounding confused but
concerned.  "Do you have a cold?  What do you want me to wear?"

"Let's go to Bennigan's," Joe said.  "You'll find out when I pick you
up.  See you about seven-thirty."

Joe quickly hung up the phone, not knowing how to deal with Linda.
Their relationship was very close, but he did not know how she would
take him in his present condition.  "Hell, I don't even know what sex I
am," he thought.

He decided his next task was deciding what to wear to play racquetball
with Jay.  In a way, he was glad to have something to take his mind off
his relationship with Linda.  "One problem at a time," he thought.

He went to the foyer closet and retrieved his athletic bag.  He carried
it to his bedroom, and emptied it on the bed.  The bag contained one
smelly towel, his running shorts, an Adidas tee-shirt, his safety
goggles, racquetball glove, three racquetball balls, and an athletic
supporter.  His racket was attached to a holster on the side of the
bag.

"Well, it doesn't look like much of this is salvageable," he thought,
picking up the jockstrap, and stretching the waistband.  Another trip
to the mall would be required.  He looked at what he had on, the white
blouse, blue skirt, and heels, and decided that would be appropriate to
wear to the mall.

He arrived at the mall, and entered Sears for the second time that day.
He was thinking about what he would have to get.  He remembered a small
shop called She Sports, and decided to look there.

Walking into the little shop, he was surrounded by ladies' athletic and
dance wear.  As he looked at the colorful leotards, bike shorts, and
form fitting bra tops, he thought about how he might look, wearing
things like this, playing racquetball with his buddy, Jay.  "Hell, I'd
still beat him," he thought, grinning.  "He couldn't keep his eyes off
my butt."

He was stretching the spandex of a jogging bra, when the young
saleswoman walked over, and asked, "What can I do for you, miss?"

"I'm looking for something to wear to play racquetball," he said.  He
felt much more confident than this morning, but he did not know if it
was because he was more familiar with his anatomy or his clothes.

"What did you have in mind?" the woman asked.

"I don't know," Joe replied.  "What do you recommend?"

"What is your size?" the woman countered, eyeing his body through the
skirt and blouse.

"Thirty-four, twenty-two, thirty-four," Joe replied, grinning smugly.
He knew what he was doing now, or so he thought.

"Well, you're in shape, aren't you, but what are your clothing sizes?"
she said with a laugh.

"I think I wear a size seven or eight," he said, embarrassed.

"How much coverage are you looking for?" she asked.

"Coverage?" he replied, looking confused.

"Do you wear tights?" the woman asked, holding some of the items up as
she talked.  "Do you want shorts or pants?  What kind of top are you
thinking of?"

Joe decided to use his standard, "What do you recommend?"

The young woman looked at Joe.  "I think a leotard under some nylon
shorts with a crop-top would look great on you," she said.  "Do you
have underwear?"

"Sure," Joe said.  "I've got panties, and a bra."

"How about an exercise bra?" the woman suggested.  "You'll feel more
confident with the support of Jog-Bra like this.  I also suggest a
cotton sport panty with an absorbent terry liner."

"Okay," said Joe.  "Sounds like what I need all right."

"Let's see which colors look best on you," said the woman, walking to
the colorful leotards.

Joe followed, thinking, "Colors again.  I didn't realize women's
clothes revolved around color until now."

"I think royal blue sets off your figure," said the woman, "and some
white tights will make a nice contrast.  Maybe with these little shorts
to set it off." She held up matching blue light nylon shorts which
seemed to have a panty built in.  She also had in her hand a little
blue thing which looked like a short tank-top.  Joe figured that it
must be a crop-top.

"Come with me," said the woman, taking the selections, and leading Joe
to a small fitting area at the back of the store.  He followed and she
hung the items on a hook in the little cubicle, and left Joe to try
them on.

He closed the curtain, and removed his blue pumps.  He was not sure if
needed to remove the pantyhose, with all the trouble that entailed, but
decided he better if he wanted to see if the snug fitting clothing fit
properly.  He removed his skirt, and carefully hung it and his blouse
on the hanger provided.  He stood there in his pink panty and bra.  He
looked at the capri-type tights, and figured that they would be a lot
like pantyhose, so he pulled them on.  They made his legs look great.
He was not sure if he should remove his bra, and decided it was best to
leave it on.  He squirmed into the leotard, and arranged his breasts
and buttocks.  It felt snug and sleek.  Finally, he pulled on the
little shorts, and felt his slick butt.  He was glad that the crop top
concealed his nipples, which, when erect as they often were, poked
through even with the bra and snug fitting leotard.

He walked out of the cubicle, and looked in the full length mirror.  He
was impressed with his appearance.  "Jay won't be able to take his eyes
off me," he thought, and then realized the impact of what he was
thinking.  "Am I turning gay?" he worried.  "What is considered
homosexual for me?"

The sales lady returned, interrupting his thoughts.  "How do you like
it?" she asked.

"I think it's perfect," Joe said truthfully.

"Well, you certainly have the shape for it," said the woman, walking to
the counter.

"Yea, that's the problem," thought Joe.

"Did you want the underwear?" she asked, holding up a sport bra.

"Yea, I guess I'd better," Joe said, considering.  He figured he better
get everything she recommended, since this was his only chance, before
the "dress rehearsal."

"White?" the woman asked.

"Colors again," thought Joe, saying, "Yes, I think white would be fine,
don't you?"

"What's your size?" she returned.

"I need a 34B, and my hips about 34 also," Joe replied.

"Yes, that's right," said the woman, with a slight trace of envy in her
voice.

Joe continued to look around the shop as he was talking.  He decided he
better get one of these more feminine looking gym bags to carry this
stuff in.  He decided on a white and blue bag, which matched what he
had on.  He also took a little white terry cloth headband, and at the
suggestion of the sales woman, some blue leg warmers.

"Do you have shoes and socks?" the woman asked.

"I have a new pair of Reeboks," he replied.

He was about to say he had everything when he saw a little terry cloth
romper thing, which looked like something women might wear in the
locker room.  He added it to his stack of clothes.  "I believe this
will be all," he said.

After he put the pantyhose, skirt and blouse back on, he went back to
the counter.  He took his American Express card from his purse and gave
it to the woman.  She rang up the sale and he signed the bill.

He was walking down the hallway in the mall, when in a shop window, he
saw a blue jumpsuit.  "That's just what I need," he thought.  "It looks
like something a woman could wear most places, with low shoes, even
Reeboks." The loose fitting top would not emphasize his shape, and he
would not have to be so careful about how he walked and sat.  It would
also make getting into his RX-7 a piece of cake.

He entered the store.  A young girl of about nineteen came up to him.
"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yes, I'd like to buy a jumpsuit like the one in your window," he
replied.

"What size and color would you like?" she asked.

"I guess I'd be a seven or eight, make it eight," Joe answered, "and do
you have it in royal blue?" He thought he looked good in blue.

The girl went to the racks, and selected the size and color he needed.
She asked, "Would you like to try it on?"

He held it up to himself.  It looked the right length, and it was loose
fitting enough to probably fit with no problem.  He said, "If it
doesn't fit, can I bring it back?"

"Of course," the girl said.  "If you don't like it for any reason, just
bring it in.  I can give you an exchange or a full refund."

He did not want to undress again, and was happy to take the jumpsuit
without that hassle.  "I'll take it." he said.

He took his packages out to his car.  As he was driving through the
parking lot near the mall entrance, he saw a drug store.  He figured he
probably should get some girl things like deodorant, and maybe body
powder.  He was not sure why he needed the powder, but he knew that
Linda always had it when she showered.  He stopped and went in.

He walked down the aisles, looking for items a person who had a body
like a woman's, might need.  He got some Secret deodorant, and looked
with a new interest at things like Massengill douche, feminine hygiene
sprays and powders.  He thought he had read somewhere that a healthy
woman did not need things like that.  Anyway, he thought he smelled
pretty good in that area.  He looked at feminine napkins and tampons.
Again he thought about his genitalia, and realized that he might
actually start to have menstrual periods.  He could not accept that.
"What choice do I have?" he considered.

He looked at the little thin pads called panty liners, and thought
maybe he should take a box of those.  "Just in case," he thought.  He
did not trust his new parts, but he was learning to be ready for
anything.  "Who knows?" he thought.  "This morning I find my cock is
missing.  Tomorrow morning I might be on the rag.  What's a guy to do?"

He took a box of Lightdays panty liners, deodorant, and Shower to
Shower body powder, to the counter.  He paid for the items, and drove
home.  He had a racquetball game to get ready for.