The Girls-Only Club
by Pamela

(c) 1997 "peter bernard" <pamelapamela@hotmail.com>. 


9. Chapter

On Monday, Ann gave Blake a good idea how their life together in the same
house was going to be.  Every time they were alone and even sometimes when
they were dangerously close to his mom and dad or Barry, Ann would treat him
as if he were her personal servant.  She made him do all her household
chores, straighten up her room and even made him go into the bathroom with
her while she was peeing.  His job was to rip off some bathroom tissue to
give to her, and then give her a towel to dry her hands with after she
washed them.  She made him give her a clean pair of his underpants every
day, which she wore underneath her jeans.  Every night he had to get the
dirty pair from her to put in the clothes hamper.  She made no attempt to
talk to him about the situation, and if ever he dared to criticize her she
would think of a new way to humiliate him.

Ann's attitude toward him was not much different than toward many of the
boys in her class.  She pushed around all the weaker ones, ignored most of
the girls and cultivated friendships with just the most athletic boys in the
class.  Blake had even heard through through other kids that Ann regularly
boasted about her control of him:  that she ruled over him and that he had
to do whatever she wished.  He always vehemently denied this, and he dreaded
the next year when she would enter seventh grade and be in the same school
as him.  Things might end up getting out of control.  Luckily he wouldn't
have to face that situation until after the summer.



  Monday at recess, Blake told the girls what had happened to him on Sunday
and they were besides themselves with anger at Ann, Connie and Len.
Unfortunately, they couldn't see what to do.  The only long term solution
was for Blake to become a girl and live all the time at Kathy's house, but
that was just impossible for the short term.  They did resolve to try and
spend more time with Blake after school, and to call him up to chat more
often so as to deprive Ann of the opportunity to carry out her mean spirited
ideas.

During recess, when all the club members were walking together on the far
end of the field, Kathy handed Blake a sealed envelope addressed to Pamela,
and told him to open it up.  He couldn't imagine what it would be, and was
surprised to see that it was an invitation to a wedding shower for Beth,
this coming Saturday afternoon.  It was to be a lingerie shower and Beth's
clothing measurements were listed.

``Do you know what a lingerie shower is," Kathy asked.

``Is it where each of the guests brings an item of lingerie for the guest of
honor?"

``Yes, exactly.  You see that Beth's measurements are given."

``Who's going to be there?"

``All of the girls in the club are invited, as well as about 12 girl friends
of Beth, my mom and grandmom and some other cousins.  I guess there will be
about 25 girls and women present."

``Wow, it sure sounds like fun!"

``Oh, its going to be just super.  Now you have to buy Beth some item of
lingerie to give her.  We'll leave it up to you to do your own shopping!"

``What does Beth like?  What are you all getting her?"

``You can get her anything:  a bra, a camisole, a peignoir.  Whatever you
find really pretty!"

``We are all going to go shopping separately.  It'll be more fun to see what
each of us picked out on our own!" Janet said.

``I'll go shopping Friday afternoon right after school.  I can hardly wait!"
Blake said.

                ******************************************

The next day, on Tuesday, as Blake was leaving school with the girls, he was
surprised by the sudden appearance of his mother, who had been waiting near
the entrance for him.

``Oh thank goodness I caught you before you walked home," his mom said
hurriedly as she smiled at the girls, ``today you have a doctor appointment,
and I completely forgot to mention it to you this morning!  We're due there
in fifteen minutes, I've got the car parked around the corner."

``No problem mom, I'll be with you in a second," Blake said.  Turning to the
girls he said, ``I have to go with my mom to the doctor.  I'm glad it is
today since tomorrow is our meeting!"

``Then we'll see you tomorrow in class, goodbye!" Amy said.

                          *******************

A few minutes later after Blake and his mom were driving toward the doctor,
his mom said, ``they are such nice girls.  I am glad you've made such good
friends."

``I like them a lot mom." While he was thinking about the girls, his
thoughts wandered to the fact that he wanted to be a girl also, and then he
was thinking about what would happen if his mom knew.  It suddenly dawned on
him that he was wearing a bra and panties underneath his boys clothes.  It
was almost certain the doctor would ask him to take off his shirt to listen
to his heart beat.  He broke out into a sweat trying to figure out what to
do.  It occurred to him that he could ask to use the bathroom as soon as he
got there, which would give him the chance to remove the bra and put it in
his pocket.  He could do the same for his panties in case the doctor wanted
to check his penis, which he always did.  Of course he would then not have
any underpants on, but he could just say that he forgot to put them on that
morning.  That would certainly sound ridiculous, but at least it wouldn't be
too embarrassing.

His doctor was Dr.  Norbet Peterson, who shared a practice with a female
pediatrician Dr.  Margaret Wentworth.  Dr.  Peterson tended to see the male
children, while Dr.  Wentworth concentrated on the female.

After entering the office, the receptionist greeted Blake and his mom and
signed them in.  Blake's mother said she had to do some errands and would be
back in half an hour.  After she left, in some agitation, Blake went to the
receptionist and asked if he could use the bathroom.  She told him to go
right ahead.  There were several examining rooms branching out from behind
the reception area.  Those to the left were where the girls went and the
boys went to the right.  In the past, Blake and Ann had often had
appointments at the same time and they had frequently been ushered to the
back rooms with Ann going off to the ``girls territory" and Blake in the
opposite direction to the ``boys." The rooms and hallway toward the girls
side were painted a light pink shade, while the boys side had blue walls.

There were two small bathrooms, one marked ``boys" and the other ``girls" in
the corridor between the examining rooms.

Just before he got to the boys room a young boy walked in ahead of Blake and
locked the door behind him.  Blake was forced to stand in the corridor
waiting to go in.  He noticed that the girls bathroom was not in use, and he
debated whether he could be bold enough to use it.  The young boy seemed to
be taking forever in the bathroom, and Blake was very worried that his
chance to take off his bra might slip away from him.

In desperation he made up his mind to use the girls bathroom.  Just at that
moment, however, a girl walked up to him saying, ``hi Blake."

It was Valerie, a girl in his class.  ``Oh, hi, Valerie."

``Getting your physical exam today, also?" she asked.

``Yes."

``So am I." Valerie seemed very happy to see Blake and he felt embarrassed
to enter the girls room in front of her.  The two of them chatted about
school and visiting the doctor.  While pretending to be casual, Blake
anxiously awaited the opportunity to get into the bathroom.  Finally, he
heard a flush and then the boy fumbling with the lock.  The door opened and
Blake was ready to break off the conversation with Valerie, when suddenly a
nurse came up to him and said, ``are you Blake?"

``Yes."

``Oh, good.  You can come back to the examining room with me." Noticing that
he was in front of the bathrooms, she said, ``can you wait a bit before
using it?  We'll need a urine sample today anyway?"

With Valerie smiling at him, he was afraid to tell the nurse he had an
emergency.  Instead he said, ``OK," said goodby to Valerie and followed the
nurse to one of the boys examining rooms down the hall.

His mind raced to find some other pretext where he could go back to the
bathroom.  Then he remembered that usually there would be a few minutes
alone in the room until the doctor came, so he would use that time to take
off his bra and panties.

``So Blake, how old are you?" the nurse said as she led him into the room
and closed the door behind them.  She was a few inches taller than Blake,
blonde with her hair pinned up over her head.  She had on a white nurses
uniform, with white stockings and white shoes.  She was a little overweight,
with a large chest and her face was a bit homely.  Blake couldn't help but
see that she was wearing a white lacy slip underneath her dress, with bra
straps visible underneath the slip.

``I'm fifteen."

``So you're in eighth grade?"

``Yes." When is she going to leave he thought to himself in desperation.
She showed no signs of leaving.

``I'm just going to do a few routine things before the doctor gets here.  So
take off your shirt and I'll take your blood pressure and listen to your
heart."

Blake froze in fear.  This had never happened to him before.  Usually the
doctor always did the blood pressure work.  The nurse was occupied with
getting out the blood pressure kit, and when she turned back to him, he
still hadn't done anything.

``Come on, honey.  Don't be shy, you've got to take off your shirt."

Blake was in a panic.

Looking at the strange expression on his face, the nurse said, ``Is there
anything the matter?  Come on take off your shirt!"

Blake resigned himself to whatever might happen and proceeded to take off
his shirt.  He gathered up the bottom and began pulling it up over his head.
As soon as the bra was partially exposed, he heard the nurse let out a
little squeal of surprise.

``Oh, my goodness, Blake!  I hope you forgive me but this is the funniest
thing!  Since Dr.  Peterson usually sees the boy patients, I was thinking
that you were a boy.  I guess the name Blake can be both a boys and girls
name.  I'm new here and I didn't realize that Dr.  Peterson has some girl
patients."

Not believing his ears, Blake said, fumbling for words, ``Oh, thats all
right, Dr.  Peterson is a friend of my dad's so I guess it's always been the
case that he sees all the kids in our family."

``Thats nice.  It was just a bit of a shock.  Now that I have a good look at
you I can see that you are a very pretty young lady."

Blake looked at himself in a mirror hanging on the opposite wall.  With his
bra, thin feminine arms and his hair just starting to grow out now, he did
seem to be feminine.

``Thats a very pretty bra you've got on," the nurse said.

``Thank you.  Its my favorite, a chantilly by Maidenform."

``Did your mom help you choose it?"

``No, I went shopping with some friends."

``I can see that you were a bit eager." The nurse reached toward Blake's
back and took the bra tag in her fingers from under the strap so as to read
the label.  ``I see that its a B cup and I'm not so sure that you're quite
up there yet!"

Blake could see in the mirror that his own very small boys breasts did not
begin to fill out the bra.

``Yes it is a bit big.  I just thought it was so pretty and we couldn't find
one in an A cup.  I guess I'm kind of jealous of my friends who are getting
more developed than me.  I hope I start to grow out soon."

``What size bra does your mom wear?"

``She's a D cup!"

``Wow, just like me and like my mom also.  I bet that you'll one day be just
like your mom.  That usually happens, at least if you look more like her
than your dad."

``Oh, I do look a lot like my mom."

``There, so there's no need to worry.  Some girls are just a bit slower to
start puberty than others.  Have you started your period yet?"

Blake nodded his head.

``No problems?"

``Oh, none."

``Do you use tampons or pads?"

``Mainly pads."

``Why is that?  Most girls your age like the tampons so they can be more
active.  Like swim and play tennis."

``I'm not very athletic, I'm afraid that I tried using the tampons and they
hurt me a bit."

``I think you probably just need someone to help you learn how to put them
in.  Did your mom show you how?"

``One time she did."

``I'll be happy to show you again.  Just pull down your jeans and I'll go
get a tampon from down the hall."

``It's all right, I really do prefer pads.  Maybe next year when I take
swimming at school I'll have to wear them and then you can show me then."

``Its really no bother, I could show you now."

``No, its OK, thank you very much though."

``You know Blake, you are a very precious girl.  Very shy.  That's good up
to a point, but you shouldn't be afraid of too many things."

``Yes, maam."

``Blake, are you dating boys yet?"

Blushing, Blake said, ``a couple of times."

``Are you prepared?"

``Do you mean for sex?"

``What else!"

``Oh, I won't let them get that far!"

``Well, as you get older you might find yourself in a mood one day when you
just let the boy do what he wants.  You might not be able to say no.  Some
boys are very very insistent."

``I know what you mean.  I do feel scared of boys.  On one date, my boy
friend wanted me to touch his penis and even to put my mouth on it."

``What happened?"

``I just touched it a little with my hand and then stopped."

``I'm glad you are able to say no when you don't feel comfortable.  If you
ever get to the point where you know you are going to let a boy insert his
penis in you, then you had better insist on a condom!"

``I will."

The nurse proceeded to take Blake's blood pressure.  ``Now take off your
pants so I can weigh you just in your underwear.  It's a lot more accurate
than with clothes on."

Blake gingerly pulled down his jeans and took them off neatly, so he was
standing there in just his bra and panties.

Looking at the maxipad bulging in his panties, the nurse said, ``Oh I see
you're having your period now."

``Yes maam."

``And what a lovely figure you have.  So slim!  I remember when I was your
age I had a figure just like that.  Then, I started to grow breasts and all
the boys were bothering me.  Then I got married and pregnant and then I
gained the weight and never lost it."

``I think you are very attractive now."

The nurse laughed, ``you are so sweet.  You're also so lucky that you don't
seem to get any pimples or blemishes during your period."

``No maam, I guess I've been lucky about that."

``And its really nice that you don't wear any makeup, too.  I bet that helps
keep your complexion so nice."

While Blake stood on the scale in his underwear, the nurse weighed him and
then checked his height.  Suddenly Blake heard voices out in the hall and
Dr.  Peterson opened the door and walked in while still talking to some one
outside.  Turning around toward Blake he said, ``and how is my friend
Blake?"

A look of bewilderment raced across Dr.  Peterson's face, like he might have
walked into the wrong room.  He said, ``oh, I'm sorry," and started to turn
around as if to leave.  Then he suddenly turned back and stared straight at
Blake.  ``What in tarnation is going on here?" Nurse, why in the world is
Blake standing there in a bra and panties?"

``I was just checking her weight.  Its more accurate without her pants and
blouse on."

``What do you mean her pants and blouse?"

``Who else's would they be?" the nurse said, very confused.

``I mean why in the world is Blake wearing a bra and panties?  Blake, why
are you wearing a bra and panties?"

``My mom forgot to tell me that I had a doctor appointment today, and she
picked me up from school with no warning.  I had no chance to take off my
bra before coming here.  Then I wanted to do it in the bathroom, but someone
else was using it and then the nurse came along and made me come here."

The nurse was a picture of complete bewilderment.  ``Dr.  Peterson I don't
understand why Blake shouldn't wear her bra and panties for a check up?
What's wrong with that?"

Dr.  Peterson looked at the nurse like she was from outer space.  ``You're
asking me why?" With great sarcasm he continued, ``maybe it has something to
do with the fact that only girls wear bras and panties."

``Dr.  Peterson, I know that very well indeed" the nurse said, ``I've been
wearing bras and panties my whole life!  I've also always worn them to the
doctors office for checkups!"

Dr.  Peterson was a bright shade of scarlet.  Anger and frustration cascaded
through his face as he struggled to understand what the nurse was saying.
Suddenly it dawned on him that the nurse thought that Blake was a girl and
he broke out into a huge smile.  ``Nurse, why don't you take a look inside
Blake's panties?"

``Dr.  Peterson, how vulgar!"

Ignoring her, Dr.  Peterson reached for the waist band of Blake's panties
and pulled them out and down.  The nurse screamed, ``oh my lord in heaven!"
while Dr.  Peterson said, ``a maxipad, how charming!  Blake, when did your
mom start dressing you up like a girl?"

``It's not my mom's fault!" Blake said.  ``She doesn't know anything about
it!"

The nurse stared at Blake in utter disbelief.  ``I can't believe all that
talk about girl things!  Dr.  Peterson, you should have heard him talk.  He
seemed so feminine and knowledgeable about girl things.  When I saw the bra
I just naturally assumed he was a girl."

``It all right nurse, this is a big shock to me as well.  The last time
Blake was here, he was wearing boys clothes.  So what's the story Blake?
How come your wearing girls things.  And do really mean to say that you wear
a bra to school?"

Blake nodded his head.

``Don't you find that strange?  I mean you have all the girls in your
classes wearing bras like they are supposed to, and then there is you, a
boy, wearing one too?  I mean why don't you wear a dress like the girls?
and pantyhose?  or maybe you do wear pantyhose.  And why in heavens name are
you wearing a maxipad?"

``Every month I have a pretend period, like the other girls do.  Please
don't tell my mom anything!  I beg you please don't tell!"

``Blake, I think your mother would really like to know about this."

``Oh no please don't.  It would be awful!"

``Well why should it be?  Then your mom could fix you up in dresses and
skirts and have your hair cut like a girls.  And probably she would change
your name to a girls name!"

``Dr.  Peterson, I think I'm really a girl and its just the way I feel.  I
like wearing bras like the other girls in the class, and I wish I could wear
pantyhose also.  And I really want to wear heels.  "

``So what's the point.  You're not a girl, you don't know what its like
being a girl.  You don't have a vagina or breasts."

``But I want to try and become a real girl."

``Well, I feel sorry for you.  I think you really do need help."

Blake started to cry a little.

``Blake, I only treat male patients, and from the looks of this I don't see
how I can be of any use to you.  I think if you're going to dress like this
in public, you should be put with the girls.  If I could, I would have you
find another practice, but your dad is a good friend of mine.  We have
played golf together for 20 years.  If he knew that a son of his was
dressing like a girl, I think it would just about do him in.  There are so
many times he has told me how proud he is of you.  If Dr.  Wentworth is
willing to take you on as one of her patients, then you can stay here in
this practice.  If not, then I'm afraid we won't be able to protect your dad
from finding out."

Blake was reeling from this and began sobbing heavily.  Before turning to
leave the office, Dr.  Peterson said, ``to tell you the truth Blake, I must
admit I am ashamed of you.  I hope for your sake that Dr.  Wentworth is
willing to take you on as a patient."

After a few minutes, Dr.  Wentworth entered the room accompanied by the same
nurse.  In the interim he hadn't taken off his bra or put back his shirt; it
hadn't seemed important to do so.

``You see Dr.  Wentworth, he's wearing girls underwear.  For fifteen minutes
we were talking as if he were a girl, and the whole time I had no idea he
was a boy."

Dr.  Wentworth was a petite woman about 50 years old, with slightly greying
hair which she wore relatively long and covering her ears.  ``I see, nurse,
thank you." To Blake she said, ``Blake, I'm Dr.  Wentworth as you know.  Of
course, all my patients are girls, and Dr.  Peterson has asked me if I would
be willing to take you on as a patient to save your family the embarrassment
of finding out that you are a transvestite.  Now, I'm not willing to take
you on if that is all that you are, but I am willing to take you on as a
patient if I can decide that you are really a girl who just happens to have
a penis, to put it crudely.  So put on your shirt and let's go to the girls
side.  I'll ask you some questions when we get there."

Blake hurriedly put his shirt back on and followed her out of the room
towards the girls end of the corridor.  When he had crossed over to where
the walls were painted pink, he came face to face with Valerie.  She was
just exiting the examining room to which Dr.  Wentworth was leading him.
The top few buttons of her blouse were open and Blake could plainly see her
white bra underneath.

She acted surprised to see Blake in the girls territory.  ``Blake, what are
you doing here!  With Dr.  Wentworth!"

``Hi, Valerie," was all Blake could think of to say.  He was blushing
profusely.

Dr.  Wentworth said, ``I see you two know each other.  Valerie, Blake has to
be examined here today.  Come on in Blake."

After she, Blake and the nurse entered the room, Dr.  Wentworth closed the
door behind them.  From the expression on Valerie's face Blake was sure that
everyone in his class would know tomorrow how he had been examined by a
girls pediatrician.

Blake noticed how much prettier the examining room was here than on the boys
side.  The room was decorated with pink wallpaper with small white flowers
in a pattern.  The examining table had stirrups folded along the side which
could be set up so the girls could get their vaginas examined.

``Sit down on the table," Dr.  Wentworth said.  Blake sat on the end of the
bench.  ``Take off your blouse and pants."

As Blake fumbled to get a hold of the bottom of his shirt he realized that
it had been only partially down his back.  In his rush to follow Dr.
Wentworth he had not pulled it all the way down.  It then hit him that maybe
the expression on Valerie's face had more to do than with his merely being
seen by the girls doctor.  He wondered if maybe a part of his bra had been
visible.  With some anxiety he finished taking off his shirt and pants so he
was sitting in just his bra and panties.

``You know its odd, Blake, but for many years, I have been Ann's doctor and
she has often confided in me that she wishes that she was a man.  Well that
can't be much of a secret, just look at her incredible muscles!  Amazingly
enough you want the exact opposite.  You pretend to be a girl, just like she
pretends to be a boy."

``Dr.  Wentworth, Ann has been so cruel to me lately!  She has become much
stronger than me and she makes me do anything she wants.  I've been so
scared to even do one little thing against her wishes, because she'll hit me
real hard, or wrestle me to the ground and hurt my arms."

``I'm sorry to hear that, I'll have to have a talk with her."

``I think she only respects very strong boys.  So she wants to ridicule me
all the time.  The other day even..." Blake suddenly stopped thinking he
better not tell this to Dr.  Wentworth.

``What happened the other day?"

``Oh nothing."

``Blake, it sounds important, you better tell me!"

``Promise you won't tell Ann any of this!"

``I promise."

``Well last Sunday when my family was away except for Ann, two of her girl
friends came over to the house and the three of them were drinking beer."

``I am very disappointed in Ann.  She know better than that."

``Well, Dr.  Wentworth, that was the least of it.  Anyway, she and her
friends got sort of drunk and they ended up picking on me, and Ann found out
that I wear bras, I mean she ripped my shirt, sort of accidentally and saw
my bra.  I guess I wear a bra everyday day now.  I don't feel comfortable
without one.  Anyway, then Ann and her friends raped me very hard in my
bottom." Blake started to cry thinking of what had happened.  ``I was so
scared I can't tell you how much."

``How did they rape you?  With what?"

``They had strap on dildos.  They made me strap them on them, and then they
put some lotion on them and while holding me down they forced them in my
rear.  After a while they seemed to cum and they stopped.  I guess somehow
they had enough pleasure to cum.  But they really had to push it in and out
hard to get that excited, and it hurt alot."

Dr.  Wentworth and the nurse were utterly shocked and couldn't speak.
Finally, the doctor said, ``Blake, this is very serious.  Ann and her
friends can face significant prison terms for what they did!"

``But I can't have my own sister go to prison!" Blake said emotionally.

``I understand Blake, but this is very bad.  We have to find out some sort
of solution to this problem.  Anyway, I should at least look to see if she
did any damage to you.  Pull down your panties, and don't be afraid.  We're
here to help you!"

``Oh, you poor dear," the nurse said.  With all of Blake's revelations she
had slowly warmed to him, and was no longer angry for his earlier deception.
She and Dr.  Wentworth pulled the stirrups into position.

``Lie down on the table and put your legs up with your feet in the
stirrups." Blake did as he was told.  He was now wearing just his bra and
lay on his back on the table with his feet up.  Dr.  Wentworth and the nurse
spread apart the cheeks of his bottom and raised up his small penis to
examine his bottom hole.  Dr.  Wentworth put on a disposable rubber glove
and said, ``I see some evidence of where you were cut.  I'm going to be
touching it very gently and I want you tell to me if it hurts."

``Yes, maam."

Dr.  Wentworth put some lubricating jelly on the index finger of the glove
and began to gently probe Blake's bottom.  At first she touched outside, and
he said it hurt just a little at the location of the biggest scar.  Then she
said, ``I want to make sure that nothing inside got hurt," She then
proceeded to slowly insert her finger up his anus and feel around.  He could
feel the nurses strong hands holding his rear end and the doctors left hand
gently hold one cheek to get leverage as she moved her finger in further and
further.  Her finger felt around along his prostrate and then around the
wall of his intestine.  After a minute she withdrew it slowly.  ``I need to
get in a bit further," she said as she put some lubricant now on her middle
finger and once again she inserted it slowly up his rectum and moved it
around in all directions.

After a minute or two she said ``It seems to be all right inside there,
you're lucky!"

The nurse said, ``I was so mad at Blake for tricking me, but I see now that
he really is a dear."

Blake blushed at the compliment.

``I didn't want to lie, but I was so scared.  I still am, I'm afraid that
you might tell my mom."

``So tell me Blake," Dr.  Wentworth interjected, ``do you have a girls
name?"

``Yes, its Pamela."

``How pretty!  If you don't mind I'll call you Pamela from now on.  You can
pull up your panties now." The doctor noticed his pad and said jokingly,
``You're having a period now?"

``She has a pretend period, can you believe it?" the nurse said.

``My oh my, I don't know any girls who actually want to have periods, and
you, who doesn't have one, likes to pretend that they do!"

``My girl friends have all been having their periods now and I wanted to
have my pretend period at the same time as theirs.  It makes me feel closer
to them."

``Who are your friends?"

``There are six of us girls and we are all part of a club called the
Girls-Only Club.  You see only girls are allowed in it."

``But.."

``Oh, well actually, the girls said I could join as long as I dressed as a
girl.  But they could tell that I wanted to dress as one anyway, so I fit
right in."

``How did they know that you wanted to wear dresses."

``Well, I saw my friend Kathy's dress that she is going to wear to her
sisters wedding, and I thought it was so wonderfully pretty, and the girls
realized that I probably was as excited about the dress as they were, maybe
even more so!  So then they said I could join and I have never been so happy
as I am now!"

The nurse laughed.  ``What other clothes do you have?"

``I have lots of things.  My friends helped me shop one day.  I got to pick
out a whole bunch of bras, panties and stockings.  And I have some skirts
and pretty dresses and some blouses and heels."

``Wow, sounds like you are all set!"

``They even bought me as a special present, the most pretty pink nightie!"

``OK, Blake or Pamela," Dr.  Wentworth said, ``I think we can all agree that
you are very serious about being a girl.  But I wonder if you have really
thought through all the implications of what you are doing."

``What do you mean Dr.  Wentworth?"

``Pamela, I think you have three choices for your future if you are
absolutely certain that you will not try and live as a normal man.  You may
not find any of these three to your liking, however."

``What are they?" Blake sounded worried.

``The first choice is you could try and become fully a girl.  I mean you
would have to have an operation that could remove your penis and give you a
vagina instead.  Nowadays, this surgery is pretty safe and will give you a
very nice looking vagina."

``I would love to have a vagina!" Blake said excitedly.

`` The earlier you do this better since it could be possible to stop your
male development where it is now which is barely pubescent.  This means that
after some hormone treatments you'll look extremely feminine."

``Wow that would be great!"

``I said your vagina would look nice, however in some cases the new girls
don't get very good sexual feelings ever again.  That is a big risk."

``I see," Blake said sounding suddenly depressed.

``Of course you could have sexual intercourse with men or women for that
matter; your vagina would function in this sense but you could not have
babies!  You have to ask yourself if your are willing to risk being a girl
who can't have sexual feeling, or a boy who definitely can?  Though if you
are lucky, and some are very lucky, you could get both."

``What are the two other alternatives you mentioned?

``If you don't get the operation, you could still take the hormones and so
forth.  These alone will give you breasts about two cup sizes smaller than
your mom.  Since she is a D you would be a B cup which as you know is quite
substantial.  You could have all your hair permanently removed off your legs
and chest.  Judging by your graceful figure, you would be a very pretty girl
who happens to have a penis!  Of course, all those female hormones could
make you impotent!"

``As long as you have your penis, you could find a woman to marry who might
want you to be her husband or wife.  With her you could have children and a
family I suppose, though once they hit adolescence they might become pretty
upset about you being a sort of half man half woman.  You could also be a
woman for a gay man, sort of his wife.  The final choice is for you not to
take any hormones or anything, but just to live as a man who dresses up as a
female.  You would have full use of your sexuality - it wouldn't be hurt in
anyway.  Once again, either a man or a woman might be attracted to you."

``I could get breasts from surgery couldn't I?"

``Yes, that is true, I hadn't thought of that.  Only you know inside which
of these ways of living you would eventually be happiest with."

``I guess right now, I have been thinking that I would want to date boys and
maybe I would fall in love with one of them.  Just like my girl friends
think about boys.  But I guess I don't really know for sure.  I really
appreciate you talking to me about these things, and I can't thank you
enough for agreeing to be my doctor."

Dr.  Wentworth was so moved that she gave Blake a hug.  ``If you have any
problems don't hesitate to come by here.  I will make sure that your secret
is kept by the staff and that your mom does not find out."

                     *******************************

The next day in the school yard during recess, while Blake and the girls
were walking together in their usual fashion, Valerie came up to the group
and said, ``did you girls know what I saw yesterday?"

``No, what?" said Amy.

``Yesterday at the doctor's office, I ran into Blake, and the most amazing
thing was that he was being seen by the girls pediatrician and not the
boys."

``Valerie, that was only because of a special condition I have," Blake said.

``Blake already told us about that Valerie," Karen added.

``Well, I think I know what your special condition is Blake.  While Dr.
Wentworth was leading you to the examining room, you didn't quite have your
shirt all the way down, and I'm sure that I saw a bra strap peeking out!"

``Valerie!" Blake said, ``you don't know what you're talking about!"

``Oh yeah, Blake?  I'm positive you were wearing a bra.  Can you imagine
that?  Blake was wearing a bra!"

``Valerie, why in the world would Blake be wearing a bra?" Janet said.

``That's what I'd like to know!  Blake, tell us all why you were wearing a
bra!" Valerie said.

``Valerie, I was not wearing a bra!"

``Bullshit Blake!" Valerie walked up to Blake and looked at him angrily.
``Tell me the truth, or I'll tell all the kids!"

``Valerie," Amy interjected, ``don't be so mean to Blake.  If you promise to
be nice to Blake, we'll let you in on some secrets."

``Look, I don't want to hurt Blake, but seeing as you all spend so much time
with him, it occurred to me that maybe Blake has sort of become a girl and
is wearing bras all the time.  I couldn't resist finding out if what I saw
yesterday was really true."

``OK, Valerie, we're going to trust that you can keep a secret," Amy said.
The girls nodded in agreement to her and she continued, ``All of us girls
know that Blake wears bras.  Its no secret to us, but we promised Blake that
we wouldn't tell the other kids."

``See, I knew I wasn't imagining it!"

``I'm sorry Valerie, I didn't want to lie but I'm afraid that you might tell
everyone."

``I won't tell Blake, I've always liked you.  Somehow it doesn't really seem
so surprising to me that your wear bras."

``Blake wears a lot more than just bras.  We helped buy him a whole very
pretty wardrobe," Karen added.

``Wow.  I'd love to see you all dressed up Blake!"

``Someday I'll meet you all dressed up and we can go somewhere together as
your girl friend," Blake said.

``That'll be great!"

After Valerie left, Amy said, ``well, I'm sure every girl in the class is
going to know sooner or later that you dress up.  Valerie could never keep a
secret like that!

``Lets just hope that none of the girls in the class tell any of the boys!"
Penny said, and they all nodded their heads in agreement.

                        ************************

On Friday afternoon Blake accompanied Kathy home to her house so that he
could change into Pamela for his solo trip to buy Beth a present for her
wedding shower.  He was very happy that Kathy and Mrs.  O'Connor were home
to give him encouragement before his big adventure, since he was very scared
about going all the way across town by himself dressed as Pamela.

With their help he picked out a white short sleeved blouse and red skirt
from his wardrobe and got dressed in Kathy's room.  He had learned at
Wednesday's meeting that he could use the breast forms without gluing them
in, as long as he wasn't planning to take his bra off.  That simplified his
preparations a lot.  He decided to wear one of his girdles with stockings
since he was going to be going to Diana's shop to buy his gift, and she
would probably ask him how he like the ones he had bought there.  He would
then be in the happy position to tell her that he was wearing one of them.
In fact he decided to wear his prettiest girdle, the pink lacy one from
France.

He was getting to be adept at putting on his wig and makeup and within a
short time he had it all on perfectly.  He then got his purse and shoes, and
Kathy and Mrs.  O'Connor accompanied him to the front door to wish him luck.

``I'm so nervous," Blake confided.

``Don't you worry you poor dear," Mrs.  O'Connor said affectionately, ``I am
sure you will do very well."

``I hope I don't run into any boys!"

``Just remember Pamela, you don't have to even acknowledge their presence if
they try and talk to you.  Without an introduction, they are being very rude
to you, and you don't have to worry about being rude in return," Kathy said.

``Just don't give them any encouragement," Mrs.  O'Connor added.

``Okay, and thank you both.  I am so excited about the shower tomorrow and I
really want to find Beth a pretty present."

``Bye, bye," Kathy and Mrs.  O'Connor said, and Blake was off by himself for
the very first time as Pamela.  He walked carefully along the side walk out
to the avenue to get the bus which would take him to a stop very close to
Diana's Bra and Girdle Shop.  It was a lovely sunny afternoon and he felt
very pretty and alive and his heart ached with happiness.  He smiled at an
old man mowing his lawn and the man smiled back graciously.  It was so nice
to be feminine; as a boy he could never have smiled at the old man.

Luckily, a bus came along after a short wait, and Blake climbed the high
steps into it and put his coins in the fare slot.  The driver accelerated
the bus before he got to a seat and he daintily struggled to maintain his
balance.  Finally, he got himself seated next to a tall businessman, making
sure to arrange his skirt properly.  He placed his hands in his lap holding
his purse and looked down past his protruding chest at his own pink polished
finger nails.  He had the strongest sense the man next to him was staring at
him.  Stealing a glance to the side he saw that the man was surreptitiously
admiring Blake.  He broke out into a big smile to himself.  ``I must really
be pretty he thought.

The bus ride was just a couple of miles and Blake disembarked at his stop
and walked two more blocks down a side street to Diana's shop.  Upon
entering he was greeted by Brenda, who was engaged in sorting and tagging a
collection of girdles which was being readied for display.  ``Hi, Pamela!
Its so nice to see you again so soon!"

``Thank you, Brenda, its great to be back at my favorite shop!" Both Blake
and Brenda laughed at this.

``How are your girdles?  I hope you aren't having any problems with them,"
Brenda said.

``Oh, no, I just love them so much.  Today I'm wearing the really pretty
French one.  Its just so comfortable."

``Let me take a look," Brenda said, and she walked over to Blake, who raised
his skirt and slip to show her.

``Yes it is very pretty on you, Pamela.  So what can I do for you today?"

``Well I'm here actually to buy a present for someone who is having a
lingerie shower.  Its Kathy's sister Beth.  She's about 21 years old, and
very very beautiful.  I want to get her something really pretty for her
shower."

``What did you have in mind?  A girdle maybe?"

``Well, I suppose that wouldn't be a good idea.  I don't think she is the
type to wear a girdle.  I mean I guess they are kind of old fashioned and
mainly only older women like them." Thinking that this might be an insult to
Brenda he hurried on to say, ``but of course not all young girls hate them,
I mean I just love them.  I mean I think Beth is really very modern." Blake
was all tongue tied.

``It's OK Pamela, its true what you're saying.  We don't sell very many
girdles to young girls or women.  Mainly some panty girdles but not the more
elaborate girdles and corsets.  But we have a lot of other nice things here
and I'm sure that you can choose something that Beth will really treasure."

The two of them walked around the shop considering various options.
Finally, Blake decided on a red, velvet flocked teddy with a lace-up bodice.
underwire cups and slim adjustable straps.  It had fabulous decolletage and
would surely look exquisite on Beth, considering her very large bust.  They
joked that poor Brad would cum in his pants the moment he saw Beth dressed
in it.

                       **************************

After he left the shop, Blake slowly walked toward the bus stop.  He didn't
want this perfect afternoon to end.  When he got there he sat down at a
bench to await the next bus.  Out of the corner of his eye he noticed
someone approaching him and then he heard a familiar voice say, ``Hi,
Pamela, fancy meeting you here!"

It was Clifford, who had obviously remembered Pamela's name from their
previous meeting at the mall.  Blake was mortified, and not just because he
was worried that Clifford would figure out he was Blake.  He remembered
distinctly Clifford's boast that one day he would get his hands inside of
Pamela's bra, and Blake was scared to death that he wouldn't be able to stop
that from happening.

``Don't you remember me?  Clifford, at the mall the other day?"

``Oh, hello Clifford," Blake said with faint enthusiasm.

``Mind if I sit down here?"

Blake shook his head no, and Clifford sat down, a bit too close, Blake
thought to himself.

``Beautiful day isn't it?"

``Yes, Clifford."

``What are you doing here?"

``I went shopping."

``For what?"

``I had to buy a present for Beth's wedding shower."

``What did you get her?"

``Oh, you really don't want to know!"

``Why not?"

``Its a lingerie shower!"

``I see what you mean.  Its just some girls stuff."

``Yes."

``Pamela."

``What?"

``I think you are very pretty."

Blake blushed and said, ``thank you Clifford." Clifford was looking intently
at Blake, who had to force himself to make eye contact.  As soon as he did
so, he felt a pang in his heart as he realized that Clifford's eyes were
really quite attractive and that he had a kind of jaunty handsomeness that
was thrilling to be near.  Clifford, holding his eyes fixed on Blake,
smiled, showing his white teeth.  It was clear that Clifford understood the
power of his smile and Blake felt himself being taken in by it.  It was so
hard to understand that this was the same Clifford who at school was nasty
and dumb all the time.

``Pamela, where do you live?  I haven't been able to get any information
from anybody about that.  Its really puzzling."

``I'm sorry Clifford, I can't really tell you that.  My mom doesn't want me
dating any boys and I'm not allowed to give out my address or phone number."

``That's too bad," Clifford said, ``so I guess we have to make the best of
whatever situations we can get."

``What do you mean?"

``Well here we are on a beautiful day, alone together, and you are very
pretty."

Clifford's charm was intense, and Blake found himself becoming more and more
attracted to him in a totally new and frightening way.  He started to ask
himself, ``what does Pamela want?" and then he realized that he had the
freedom to act like Pamela, he didn't have to be Blake pretending to be
Pamela.  As `Pamela' he knew that he really wanted to be sitting there with
Clifford.

Clifford started to slide over across the bench toward Blake.  Blake's heart
beat excitedly and he looked coyly up towards Clifford, who was still
looking at him intently.  After their eyes met again, Blake looked down
again.

He felt Clifford's hip push against his skirt, and then he realized that he
was being encircled by Clifford's right arm.  Clifford was in control, he
just had to sit there and wait for Clifford to do whatever he wanted with
him.  His heart raced even harder as he felt the increasing pressure of
Clifford's presence around him.  He was now completely in his embrace.  He
felt soft and compliant and protected.  Clifford said, ``Pamela, you're so
pretty." The words caused a fluttering excitement to go up his spine.

Blake turned his head sideways and looked directly at Clifford.  He could
see Clifford's mouth approaching, slightly parted, with his tongue just
waiting inside.  Clifford's strong arm gripped his shoulder a bit more
tightly and moved him closer toward him.  Clifford used his left hand to
gently touch Blake on the chin and steer his mouth toward his own.  Blake
mumbled, ``Oh, Clifford, I barely know you," and then more softly again,
``Clifford, we shouldn't, my mother..." He was silenced by Clifford's lips
touching his own and then landing firmly upon his, and he felt himself
returning the kiss.  He felt small and soft and contained by Clifford's hard
masculine body.  Clifford's tongue parted his lips and Blake closed his eyes
and found himself spiraling around Clifford's tongue in a long slow kiss.

When the kiss ended, Blake waited for Clifford to make the next move.  ``You
have such nice lips, Pamela,"

``Please kiss me again," Blake found himself saying this and Clifford bore
down again in a very long kiss.  When he was done, they sat there for a few
minutes and Clifford said, ``that was very nice Pamela."

Blake smiled at him.  Up the block he saw his bus coming and said, ``I've
got to catch my bus.  My mom will kill me if I'm late!"

``When will I see you again?"

``I don't know," and Blake took his package and got up to board the bus.
Turning to Clifford, he said, ``I'll call you sometime when my mom is not
home." Blake took a seat against the window, and Clifford waved to him as
the bus took off down the road.


(c) Copyright 1997: "peter bernard" <pamelapamela@hotmail.com>. 

If you want to post this anywhere else, please ask the author for 
permission first.  Thank you