Date: Fri, 2 Nov 2012 01:45:31 -0400 (EDT)
From: Violet295@aol.com
Subject: Coming out in the worst way Pt 2

What a horrible feeling, my first night out and in a real TG scene. What
was I thinking? My ball shrunk to little nuggets and my libido fell of the
chart. I was way above my raisin and not at all comfortable .Around me was a
clique of Trans gendered folks that were at ease with their bodies, their
personality and their place in life. Here was little ole me, trying
desperately  to for fill my destony.Of course I could not conceive of that at the
moment, it  was all about how insecure I felt. Suddenly my mint green
undergarments were  crap, my dreams were crap and I felt like running into the night
for  safety.
"My goodness I wish I had legs like yours!" The voice was close to my ear
and I turned, startled and a bit rattled. Next to me stood a statuesque Red
head, very striking but yet non threatening. I felt the slightest amount of
 relief.
"I bet you drive the men wild!" She was oblivious to my distress.
I contained my fear and inner demons and stuck out a lose hand to introduce
 myself." Rebecca" I said.
She took my hand and held it, seeming to look me up and down, yet to enjoy
the introduction.
"Megan, Megan Mac Tavish."
The name nearly made me laugh, I could only reply, "You are not Scottish by
 any chance?"
She affected a Scottish Bro ugh and answered, "How did you guess." Her
laughter told me my reaction had hit home and in a humorous manner. I  suddenly
felt a bit less self conscious and began to look her over as a  compatriot.
She still had a hold of my hand and I would normally find that
uncomfortable but for some reason I found it reassuring.
"She took the lead and asked me if I would join her in a Scottish whiskey,
since I had guessed her heritage.
What is a poor girl to do, but comply?
We moved into the buildings interior and it was just loaded with like
ladies. Some dressed like tramps, some very classy but all obviously men wanting
 to share the reality I was experiencing tonight. My comfort lever was
improving.
Megan ordered us two Scotches on the rocks and assured me this is the only
way to experience her heritage. I obliged by shooting the drink down as it
arrived and she laughed at me as my face puckered in disgust.
She patted me on the back as I coughed and choked and informed me that
Scotch was a sipping whisky and not a shot to be chugged. I had little doubt
she  was right.
"So tell me Rebecca, how is it a girl your age does not know shit about
Scotch? She asked.
The whisky had warmed my body like a drug and I was a tad more confident
and was fairly sure she was teasing me. "I know Scotch alright but this is
Irish  Whisky, right? I mean I figured you better chug it to choke it down."
She laughed with me, not sure if I was the witty one or her. "No love it
is, make it was Scotch Whisky, not that Irish Bootleg crap we spit out."
I could see she was making a joke and we both laughed out loud as if we
were simpatico.
I felt a tiny flush of excitement below, and suddenly worried what would
happen if I did indeed get excited, would that be good or bad? Megan seemed
to  be beyond that situation and I decided to follow her lead.
Hetero sex is one thing, Gay sex yet another but transgender sex was
foreign to me .Suddenly my fears rose to the surface again. I am not ready, I am
not worthy, I am not a woman all ran through my mind at once.
How I will never know but Megan read my mind and leaned in close to my ear
and told me, :Hon, you are among friends and believe me it is all up to
you.