xDate: Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:13:55 -0500 (EST)
From: Clint Dear <clintdear@lycos.com>
Subject: Growing up Feminine

I was born a guy. Sort of. Not your normal mean macho guy -- but a very
sweet feminine guy.  My hippie parents just ignored it allowing me to grow
up not even knowing just how different I was than the other boys. They
never told me that I had virtually no testosterone in my body, and levels
of estrogen more suited for a woman. I was just told "That's just the way
God made you." I never really understood it so I just accepted it as the
way I was and went on with my life. My parents seemed to be totally
flexible with whatever direction I wanted to take, and enrolled me in a
safe, well supervised "all boys" Catholic high school for challenging
children like myself. Like everyone else, I had to go to gym class, which
turned out to be an education in itself! They never told me to feel as if I
had to "become" a girl, only that I had to understand that I was just
"different" from traditional boys, and I needed to learn to accept where my
natural path chose to take me. "Don't fight it, adjust to it!" was what my
parents always said, so my mission in life became to be attractive to
everyone. Especially boys.

When I tried volleyball with the guys, I got so distracted it was
pointless. I just found myself staring at them, completely undone by the
shirtless ones with their muscular bodies and tight little butts!  Swimming
class was equally embarrassing, as I had to expose my chest and try to
ignore the giggling stares as the boys perked up and drooled over my
hairless body and erect nipples caused by my fantasizing over their semi
nakedness! It was a cruel situation! I was girly enough to get their dirty
little minds working overtime, but I couldn't pretend to ignore them as my
nipples gave me away! I soon earned the nickname "killer" for "killer
body". I got the nick name when a boy came up to me and told me "Dude, you
have a killer body! For a girl!" and started giggling as I glowed red with
embarrassment! I did indeed have a wonderfully feminine body and so the
moniker stuck and took on a life of it's own. I learned to smile when they
used my nickname, diffusing the taunting from the bad boys, and attracting
the friendship of the kinder boys who sought to befriend and protect
me. They seemed to understand that nature had intended a different role for
me as I continued to grow breasts and my hips fully filled out giving me a
nicely developed svelte feminine body. But as my sexual thoughts matured I
realized they were wanting me sexually, too. I felt like I a piece of meat
in a cage with 100 lions, some hungry, some not! I didn't know what to do,
but I knew I loved the attention.

When I'd stand naked in front of the mirror I would admire my developing
feminine figure and growing breasts. While other boys might be flexing
their muscles, I found myself playing with my overdeveloped, girly nipples
experiencing the exciting feelings of estrogen enhanced sensuality. In my
mind, my cock was something that was just "there", yet other boys' cocks
quickly attracted my interest. I always got excited and jittery when I got
to see another boy's cock at shower time in the gym. Shower time was always
difficult for me as I had to try not to get excited, even though my little
boner was only a couple of inches long and maybe be a half inch thick, it
still poked out a little. I knew instinctively that there was a sexual
connection between their cocks and the way I thought about sex. My boobs
were a full on "A" and heading for a "B" with large overactive nipples.  I
never even considered my self as having any "seed" that the boys bragged
about, and I subconsciously understood that every thing I needed would be
provided by boys. Somehow I knew that they had power that I didn't. I knew
instinctively that they controlled things and I didn't. I knew that someday
I wanted some boy to take me under his protective wing to be his lover just
like I knew it should be.

I soon realized I had my own special power - the power to be flirty and
sexually attractive to boys! I innocently began to experiment with that,
and I soon learned how to discriminate between boys who were interested in
me and those who weren't. I always found myself peeking and looking at
crotches. I blushed and smiled sweetly when I noticed a hard penis,
especially when it was attached to a cute smiling boy who seemed interested
in me. I knew by the way certain boys stared at my boobs that they were
interested in me and I could safely flash a smile. When we caught each
other peeking, I always made eye contact with them as I smiled sweetly back
as I wondered what it would feel like to be in their arms in a naked
embrace. There were always teachers around to make sure we didn't get too
familiar with each other, but more than a couple of times I got a furtive
stroke and a rub on my naked butt, reassuring me that I was sexually
attractive to boys. I needed to know that. Several times when waiting for
towels, a boy who liked me would tease me by bumping me in the butt with
his hard cock, or just let it roam around on my butt cheeks making sure I
felt it as the line moved slowly toward the towel window. I'd be sure to
give my butt a little rearward swish and a wiggle to let him know I
approved and most importantly, appreciated. I'll never forget Raj the
Indian kid who boldly kept teasing me in his lilting English; "Do you want
to ride my elephant?" as he dragged his penis up and down my crack and
giving it a playful shove when he was centered on the middle of my puckered
flower. Strangely I found I had an automatic instinct to push back, much to
his joy and my embarrassment! The feeling of a horny, searching dickhead on
my buttocks, sliding up and down and across my boy pussy searching for the
opening into my body was an unforgettable treat indelibly imprinted into my
memory. If I only knew then what I know now!

By the time I graduated, I was really beginning to appreciate the fact that
I was attracting men now.  I was interested in them, but wary since not all
of them were interested. Since I was only 5'4" and 110 lbs., they were much
bigger than me, and there was always some odd urgency about them that
warned me to be careful around them if they started displaying a sexual
interest in me. I knew my size made me vulnerable. To what I wasn't sure,
but I knew it had something to do with their fascination with my butt and
them wanting to sticking their dicks in me. All of my life I've only seen
men as scary creatures that I was nervously aroused by and attracted, but
really had nothing in common with except a sexual attraction. They were
boastful and competitive and always showing off for me, yet one on one they
were very nice and sweet and kind, even if they were a little
"touchy-feeley". I was quiet and shy, and aware of how vulnerable I was in
their presence should they decide to force themselves on me. Not all of the
boys scared me. Some made me feel warm inside when they would put an arm
around me and call me things like honey and sweetheart. When a boy I liked
wanted to pull me close for a hug, rather than feel repelled, I reacted
passively and offered no resistance, and looked forward to the chance to
furtively inhale their arousing masculine scents. I loved to put my head
against their chests and listen to their strong heartbeats as I smiled
inwardly at the feeling of their firm arms around me as I innocently
pressed against their hardness so desperately seeking to plant it's
seed. The pheromones given off by men as I was enveloped by their arms
always seemed to get my heart racing and make me feel intensely sexual. I
decided it was high time to find a boyfriend.

Chapter two

There was one special guy named Martin who treated me a little better than
the rest, who touched me a little more, and who always had a little more
time for me. He was different. He was always discrete and careful not to
embarrass me. He was a little older than the others and I grew to feel safe
as he gradually began to touch me more sexually. He didn't rush things, he
just let me get used to his touches a little at a time. He always gave my
girly little bottom a pat and a rub whenever he was within reach of me. At
first I didn't know how to take it but as time passed, I got used to it and
began to look forward to his touch and would smile and unconsciously move
my hips back into his caress in a welcoming gesture. The more he paid
attention to me the more I began to get aroused, and the more comfortable I
was letting him touch me. It didn't take long for me to look forward to his
touches so much that when he was near, I would get all fidgety and giggly,
and would start acting silly. I would swoon like a puppy as I felt my face
flushing and my nipples hardening as his hand caressed my stomach as he
came up from behind me and gave me a hug, pushing his hardness against my
girly bottom as he made me shiver with a kiss on the neck. I enjoyed
letting him have the privilege of letting his hands wander up to the bottom
of my breasts. I could not resist encouraging his interest by gently
pushing my rear into his hardness, unconsciously presenting my boy pussy to
him. Martin was definitely in touch with my feelings and was teaching me to
be in touch with mine, too. Little did I know my lust for his attention was
natures way of me letting him prepare my fields for planting when the time
came. When I was in bed I'd close my eyes and rub my sensitive flesh and
nipples, gasping to the eroticism of my selfish embrace as I dreamed of
Martin touching and kissing me all over as I imagined us in the moonlight
lying on some deserted tropical beach.

When he finally took me into his arms for my first kiss, I was excited to
feel his hardness pressing into me as his hands found my bottom and glided
up under my shirt to caress my bare flesh as he nibbled on my earlobes
causing me to shiver with desire. Suddenly, for the first time in my life a
man's lips were brought to mine, and as we kissed deeper I eagerly allowed
his tongue to enter my mouth as if to foretell the surrender to come. It
was incredibly erotic to swim in the lustful feelings of sexuality and
hope! It wasn't long before we were letting our shirts ride up so we could
feel each others bare flesh touching as he slipped his hands into my
panties to caress my feminine buttocks, causing me to moan with
encouragement. I knew he was fighting the urge to feel my bra-less breasts
against his chest, the silly boy. I wished I knew how to tell him it was
OK. Everything Martin wanted to do was ok.

Finding places to make out soon became the order of the day since we both
had roommates, but his house was the easiest. Each time we would make out I
would get bolder and braver as my passion loosened up my inhibitions. One
time on the couch he coached me up so I could straddle his lap so our hard
cocks could rub together through our clothes as I rocked back and forth on
his lap. Finally, I decided to make my move and lifted my top up just
enough to aim a nipple into his mouth. Almost as if he had been doing it
all of his life, he began sucking and licking my swollen nipples, first one
then the other. I was in heaven. From then on, every time we found
ourselves on the couch making out, I would move up to his lap and he would
be right there sucking my nipples. As we did it more and more often, my
nipples began to get super sensitive, and more connected to a tingling
tickle going on deep inside my body that each time became a little stronger
than the last. Finally, one time as Martin was sucking on them as we rocked
back and forth over each other, the tingling didn't level off -- it kept
increasing in intensity and my milk began to flow! I was afraid of what
Martin would think, but he soon showed me he was loving it and was loving
what it was doing to me! I kept rocking back and forth with more and more
urgency, feeding the ecstasy within me build as Martin kept up his suckling
as the tingling coursing though my body increased in intensity until
finally I reached a sudden, unexpected climax and cried out in shameless
ecstasy as my body began to spasm as if I was being vibrated and tickled by
a thousand feathers. It was nothing like any orgasm I ever had. It stayed
with me and continued in gentle waves like an electric current flowing from
my toes to the top of my head and back again, tapering off to a lingering,
ticklish throbbing deep inside my pelvis.

As my orgasmic glow slowly tapered off, Martin would whisper sweetly to me
to how much he needed me, and how sore is testicles were, but not being a
nurse or knowing how to treat pain, I just kept kissing him as he gradually
went back to being my normal loving Martin as I selfishly enjoyed my new
orgasm.

By then, I had fully accepted my feminine traits as part of my sexual
identity as I found my trysts with Martin so enticingly natural. It was
still confusing to me since I didn't visualize our relationship in terms of
male and male, but rather female and male. I knew I was falling in love,
but in my mind the future of our sexual escapades was murky at best. I had
a pretty good idea that he wanted a blow job, and I was eager to find the
courage to do that for him if I only knew how to begin. I knew about other
things that could be done, but even though the idea of carrying his seed
appealed to me and seemed quite natural, it seemed like too big of step
even though I found myself warmly smiling when I thought about it, even
though the mechanics of it were terrifying!

One day when Martin's roommate was gone for the week, we managed to be
alone in his apartment and we began to make out on the couch. It was
nervously exciting, yet scary knowing that we weren't going to be
disturbed. As I glided back into the warm ecstasy of lust, I kissed and
tongued my lover's mouth. He began to rub my clitty and tease the nipples
on my girly breasts hidden under the thin t shirt I wore just for him. As I
got more excited, he guided my hand to his bulge and with his hand still on
top of mine, began to show me how to rub his thick shaft as his soft hands
glided back under my shirt to stroke my nipples gently with his fingertips.

As I got more confident rubbing the bulge in his pants, he put his hand
over mine again and guided it to the top of his trousers. He manipulated my
fingers to release the top button of his pants, and then slowly taught my
fingers to grasp the zipper, and pull it downward never breaking our
kiss. Keeping my hand in his, he brought it back up and slipped it under
his boxers and rested it on his naked cock as he lifted me up and pulled
his pants the rest of the way off, leaving him naked from the waist
down. We had never gone this far before! His cock felt a lot like mine, but
was much bigger. I didn't feel too scared, since I had one too - smaller,
but one none the less. I began to stoke him up and down like I'd done to
myself a few times, but then he kept steady downward pressure on my
shoulders working me gently down to the floor, encouraging me to "Give it a
little kiss". Soon, I found my self in unfamiliar territory, but eager to
obey his commands as he told me to lick up and down the shaft "Just a
little, just for me, Honey.", as he lifted my shirt off exposing my entire
upper body for the first time - I felt nearly naked, and enticingly
vulnerable under his spell. As I knelt between his legs I grew more excited
feeling the sensuous tickling of my naked breasts against his hairy legs as
he ran his fingers through my longish hair. I tentatively licked the shaft
like he wanted, but soon my natural instincts took over and I found myself
shivering with lust, eager to do what he was expecting of me! As I began
licking the underside of his cock I was intrigued by the silky texture as I
dragged my tongue all around the head imagining it was my special ice cream
cone. With a little more encouragement from Martin, I slowly took him
partway into my mouth and began to savor my first cock. I had never felt
such an affirmation of my sexuality as my absolute power over him became
evident as his breathing got more and more ragged, and my thoughts spu!
 n with dreams of relationship and unselfish devotion to his every need . I
instinctively varied my technique as I sensuously rubbed my hands over his
legs and chest, and gently rolled his nipples gently between my fingers to
let him know that I was an eager partner and would do what it took to make
him happy. As I got more excited I took more and more of him in my mouth
until I took all I could take, and then slowly began to withdraw and begin
a rhythm as his hips thrust gently to meet me. The feeling of his cock
dragging in and out of my mouth let me know with out a doubt what I had
been missing all of my short life. All I wanted in return was for him to
love me back. If he would do that, I would walk across hot coals to please
him.

Instinctively knowing that I had this one chance to drive all of the
competition away, leaving him wanting only me to love, I kept him on the
edge until he could take no more and was begging me for release as I kept
his body stimulated using gentle, ticklish stokes over his flesh and gently
pinching his nipples. He was breathing deeply with his mouth open to an
imaginary sky as his body began to get more rigid and his toes began to
clench and unclench in rhythm to his "Ahh, ahh, ohh Honey..." cries for
relief. Using my newly trained lips and tongue, I soon gently teased him
passed the point of no return as I experienced the wonderful feeling of his
orgasm pulsing in my mouth as his liquids rushed into me as I washed them
throughout my mouth, bonding with his special flavor as I continued to coax
out the final twitching droplets with my lips as I allowed his nectar to
begin it's passage down my throat. He continued his shallow thrusting as I
milked him with my lips sending any remaining remnants from his body into
mine. I held him in my mouth until the last tiny twitches were gone and he
was fully satiated. I scooted up to be close to him, to cuddle him, as I
tingled with an overwhelming sense of sensuality and achievement that I
didn't want to experience alone. I needed him to warm to my unselfish down
payment on our relationship by holding me tightly and loving me as I
experienced a unique and special feeling I had never before experienced. He
did not disappoint me.

Chapter three

My first sexual experience was a watershed moment for me. For the first
time since I was a child, I felt free. I began to look forward to shopping
again. I've found that women's shorts are the best for me because they fit
nice and make my ass look nice. I became acutely aware of my body and how I
looked to others, especially Martin. I have a really small cock and balls
size of marbles, so a "bulge" isn't a problem. I wear the tops I want that
still allow me to hide my overactive nipples without wearing a bra. I can
completely fill out a "B" cup now, and am wondering if a "C" is on the
horizon. When aroused or chilled, I really have to be discreet as my
nipples grow to the size of olives and are nearly impossible to hide. I've
become aware of my femininity and the effect it has on guys. I enjoy having
the ability to tease when I'm feeling flirty and a little dirty, and I get
thoroughly aroused when I sense that a man is finding me attractive and
desirable. I was selfishly aware that I was blessed with a shapely 36-24-34
body that other women would die for, and I knew I didn't need to pursue a
man - they would come to me, seeking my attention.

At home in private and unknown to Martin, I began to learn to dress as a
woman should I decide to move and start over some day. It always felt
"right", and I loved the sensuous feel of the fabrics on my sensitive
skin. I have toned feminine hips, with buttocks tastefully padded with soft
feminine tissue that undulates in that uniquely feminine way as I walk.
Without a doubt, my body is soft and pliable and cushioned for the comfort
of a hard man's body.

The idea that men notice me has begun to really turn me on. I go out of my
way to give them a little tease with a wiggle and a sexy smile that makes
men melt. I want them to want what they know Martin is getting, and I want
them to know that I'm a sexy and sexual person and maybe even available.
It's all I can do to not lick my lips when my nipples have betrayed me and
I'm caught looking at a cute boys crotch. I love to make sure I leave a
handsome boy with the feeling that if maybe he wasn't so shy, he would have
had a chance with me if he would only have had the courage to try! I
selfishly hope he'll be thinking of me as his hands seek their dirty
pleasures under the covers tonight! But soon my thoughts return to Martin
and my real world responsibilities as I visualize that he is waiting
impatiently for me with a restless load of man juice for his sweetie,
jerking my sexual thoughts from fantasy to serious thoughts indeed as I
smile knowing that I want to hurry to be there for him in case he desires
relief.  I smiled inwardly as I imagine the feel of him pulsing his seed
into my mouth, as I wickedly wonder if my shy cutie pie I passed in the
mall would be as sweet as Martin if I gave him the chance.

The following Sunday, Martin asked me if I'd like to go to a matinee movie
with him. When I accepted he asked me to wear something sexy for him! I was
nervously wondering how far I dared to go. He never really took me out in
public before. I understood and accepted it as the way it was to be. I just
felt so powerless and intrigued at the same time as I smiled and accepted a
"date" with him. I wore a pair of thin white shorts with blue thong undies
so that my pink nakedness underneath would radiate though a little, and a
pale off-white pull over blouse that would allow my nipples to show
through. I wore a long sweater so I could just show off to Martin and not
the whole world.

As we watched the movie in the darkened theater, he took my hand and kissed
it gently. My heart was beating out of my chest with the delirious effects
of sexual conditioning as he gathered me in his arms and kissed me as his
other hand slipped down and rubbed my tiny erection through the thin fabric
of my shorts. His purposeful fondling made me aware of how much I craved
the caring touch of my lover as my hips rhythmically sought the comfort of
his hand. Throwing all caution and propriety aside, I let myself become
lost in the gentle caress of a thousand tickling feathers as I held him
tightly, his lips sealed against mine as he led me slowly over the edge
into the climbing vortex of the beginning of my orgasm. He kept his lips on
mine and massaged my little cock as the familiar electric feeling enveloped
my body until it slowly peaked leaving me breathless with emotion, and then
gently begin to receded as my meager juices slowly trickled out into my
panties. As I began to come back down to Earth, he gently broke our kiss
and nuzzled my neck as he thanked me for being so sweet. I was in heaven!

We decided it was time to leave so I could get cleaned up. Even though I
only let out a tiny bit of boy juice, I was still buzzing with sexuality
and was too restless to watch a movie. It felt a little strange, but Martin
seemed to not want to let go of me. There wasn't any time that he wasn't
touching me, and I loved that. His hands seemed to be unable to leave my
girly bottom as he kept me constantly aroused with his gentle caresses. He
even seemed to sense that I wouldn't object to his hand slipping into my
panties so his hand was on my bare butt cheek for everyone in the lobby to
see. Even though I worried that things were moving to some murky crescendo,
I invited him into my apartment so I could change.

I had never had Martin come home with me since we always were at his
place. There were panties drying in the shower. There was makeup on the
bathroom counter. I felt "busted" even though he had to know. I guess it's
all part of "coming out" to your lover.

I felt awkward at first, but then he broke the ice by hugging me tightly
again and kissing me. When I asked him if what he saw was bothering him, he
told me his secret. He shared with me that he was attracted to me because
of my femininity, and that gay guys and regular girls just "didn't do it
for him" and that I was the first person he'd met who had all the puzzle
pieces that he had been looking for. He confessed that up until now he
really didn't know what to do with his feelings toward me. The idea that
"gay guys and regular girls" didn't do it for him opened up immense
possibilities as I smiled inside.

"Come on, girlfriend, how about dressing up pretty for me?" he asked,
answering my question as to where I fit in with him.

As I wondered if this was too big of a move, the words slipped out of my
mouth as I replied, "What would you like me to wear? I don't think I want
to go anywhere and get in trouble."

"How about a nice sexy outfit for indoors, or maybe just surprise me?" He
replied.

"I'll think of something you might like." I said as I reached down and
rubbed the bulge in his pants, reminding him that maybe I should give him
some relief, since he was so kind to me in the theater.

"I'll be back in a few minutes after I take a shower!" I replied.

I decided to be a delicious tease. I took a quick shower and re shaved my
legs and underarms. Next, I started with a pair of lacy white boyshort
panties that would keep me in, followed with a short white tennis skirt and
a thin white see though blouse with a snug band below my boobs to lift them
up and out and also accent my nipples, but had buttons so I could leave the
top undone to show some "jiggle". I wanted to juggle being physically
attractive as well as accessible. For make up I used light eye shadow and
shimmery pink lipstick, finished off with a quick spray of perfume. I
slipped on a pair of red sandals with little jewels on the straps to show
off my freshly painted piggies. For accents I added a ankle chain with
charms, and a pink scrunchy in my hair to highlight the natural femininity
of my angular facial features. I couldn't believe I was doing this but I
felt like I was in the right mood at the right time to go all out, as I
steeled myself to make my grand entrance!

"Wow, you look great! I had no idea you could be so pretty!" He said as I
sat down on the couch next to him.

"Are you nervous?" He asked?

"A little. You are the first person to ever see me this way." I replied,
smiling.

He pulled out a little baggie and rolled a joint, and said "Here, this is
just what the doctor ordered!" as he lit it up and took a hit and passed it
to me.

I took a long, deep pull and let the acrid smoke swim around in my lungs as
the slow climb of euphoria began to take hold of me as he put his arm
around my shoulder and pulled me into him as I exhaled the smoke. Feeling
daring and empowered, I took another hit, and another, and passed it back
to him.

In a few minutes I was really stoned and unbelievably horny. I found my
attraction to him was irresistible as I gazed into his eyes inviting him to
kiss me. As he looked into my eyes, he leaned in and his lips touched
mine. The kiss was long and deep, and I closed my eyes as he ran his hand
inside my thigh, extending his fingertips under the leg band of my panties
where he could touch my tiny balls, as the other hand went up over my skirt
and gradually moved upward under my blouse to caress my breasts and
nipples. I bravely moved my hand down to massage his bulge as he let out a
cute little moan and lifted his hips to meet me. I unfastened his belt and
worked the top button open, hurrying to feel him as the words slipped out
of my mouth: "Take off your clothes for me, honey."  I can't believe I said
that! I must be really stoned.

Quickly he peeled off his shirt, pulled off his shoes and socks, and pushed
off his pants and presented his naked body to me. As we fell back into our
kissing, I couldn't wait to feel his cock again. I began to rub it and
gently work it up and down until Martin whispered,

"Take off your clothes, too honey! I want to feel all of you against me!"
He purred.

I slowly peeled off my clothes, leaving me with nothing on but a suggestive
smile as I climbed up on the couch straddling his legs so he could suckle
on me. I was rewarded with a new feeling as his hard cock found itself
touching my buttocks and rubbing up and down my crack as his hands caressed
my back. A disparate feeling arose in me as his cock touched my hole with a
sensation that took me back to my earlier experiences with boys in gym
class. Martin was not a boy anymore. He was a man with a man's needs. He
began to change the angle of this thrusts and began hitting the entrance to
my pussy trying to work himself inside of me as his precome generously
lubricated me as nature intended. Being stoned vanquished my inhibitions
about being sexually ambitious, and It reinforced the entirely natural
feeling of being so feminine as his cock worked at my opening reminding me
what my true role was soon to be. Feeling him try to enter me surprised me
and scared me at the same time as I welcomed him making a tiny bit of
progress. As it started to work it's way in, I chickened out. As drawn as I
was by feeling it was the natural thing to do, and even though I wanted to
do it, I just wasn't ready. At least not yet.

I quickly began to slide down to my knees and leaned in for another
reassuring kiss, as I made a trail of kisses down his chest stopping to
suckle at each nipple, enthralled at the feel of his hardness between my
breasts as I gathered them together so his penis was encased by my boobs as
he moved up and down inside the velvety glove of my breasts. I was eager to
feel his cock in my mouth again, but I knew that taking my time and
remaining in control was the path to my man's heart. I knew I had to up the
ante a bit for chickening out when he tried to get into my pussy, the poor
baby.

As I slid down, I began with gentle nibbles at the side of his cock, with
little caresses of my lips and tongue as I worked my way down to his
balls. I pushed his knees up so my tongue could have easy access and I
could lick all the way to his hole. With each lick I felt my desire grow as
I licked across and around his soft brown bud, then licked up along the
perineum. I licked and nuzzled his balls and then alternately sucked one,
then the other, then both into my mouth and massaged them with my tongue as
his hard meat wandered over my face as he groaned with passion. I released
his balls and tickled the bottom of his penis with my tongue as I worked my
desperate mouth up to engulf the head and struggled to take him as deeply
as I could. It must have been the pot; because before I realized what I was
doing I felt his pubic hair on my nose as he began bucking his hips pushing
himself in and out of my mouth as if it were his own private little
pussy. I worked to control myself and control his lust by pulling out a
little -- just enough to slow him down, so I could get back into my natural
cock - sucking rhythm. As I kept up my slow, but steady pace, I dragged my
tongue across the sensitive buttons under the head, elevating his passion
to the breaking point as the wonderful tingling sensations began to
envelope my body. I wanted to be able to choose the timing of his orgasm,
but my tingling was robbing me of my will. Rather than slowing down as
before, I rewarded him with deeper thrusts into my throat, as the tingling
got stronger. As I began to tighten my throat during his thrusts until it
was finally too much for him to bear, and with a animal grunt and a painful
moan he pumped his seed into my hungry mouth as I swirled and savored every
drop as I slowly swallowed. He kept driving himself into me as my body
began a crushingly slow motion climax that felt like the tickling of a
thousand fingertips, as my juices lazily flowed from my boy clittie and the
mewing sounds of passion escaped from my lips. I rested with his softening
cock in my mouth as each twitch corresponded with the waves of tickling
coursing through my body.

We laid together on the couch, with me dreaming of the things to come as I
nestled his tired weenie between my cheeks where it's slippery tip could
rest against my hole, in just far enough to offer him hope. It was a truly
sexy feeling as I closed my eyes and imagined his little sperms marching
into me two by two. In my dreamy reverie I made the decision that his was
the seed I would carry someday.

When he awoke he kissed me gently and told me it was time for him to go to
work and could we see each other next Friday. As we stood up naked as
lovers should be, I reached up put my arms around his neck, and reached in
for a kiss bringing my naked body up to his. I knew my body had the power
to make him melt and I wanted him to know that I was willing to be his and
his alone as I felt his penis stiffening to affirm his affection for me. It
felt so sexy to feel his hands rubbing my buttocks as he moistened a finger
and ran it up and down my crack, massaging the sensuous flesh in and around
the outside of my boy pussy. As I caught myself pushing back against the
tiny intruder, I knew that he was the one. I knew that as our sexual
experiences progressed, one of these times it was just going to happen just
as it was meant to be. The only thing missing was my courage!

Chapter four

I had a whole week of phone calls and sexy conversations with Martin,
giving me plenty of time to think about our relationship. I loved to give
head. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I didn't really care if he sucked
me or not as long as I made him cum. That was the source of my orgasms
now. I didn't know why, and I didn't care -- but when I had his dick in my
mouth, the tingling started to build and propelled me to my own climax.
Throughout the week as my disconnected thoughts began to ebb and flow, I
could not get the idea out of my mind of him wanting to inseminate me. I
think finally understood why he wanted to put his cock inside of me
there. It wasn't just to achieve some special feeling, it was to let me
unconditionally surrender so that there was nothing left for me to give. I
knew that when his seed was finally inside of me, I could never look at him
the same way. My pussy would be the destination for his manly needs, making
my feminine conversion complete. The only avenue left for us then would be
to give each other unconditional love.  Which meant all that was left for
me to do was to unselfishly love him and keep him happy and make myself
available to him whenever he wants me.  In return, I will have the
privilege of knowing I'm always carrying some of his sperm in me as it is
gradually absorbed into my body as he continuously replenishes me by loving
me like a wife. This represented mating and breeding, and once I submitted
to be bred, as they say on the Animal Planet - we would become "a mated
pair", and things would never be the same. It was not just sex. It was my
final frontier. I began to smile and anticipate what it would be like to
carry Martin's seed inside me.

Finally, Friday came, and I was looking forward to getting laid.

I took my shower and used hair remover everywhere a girl should shave for
her man. I did my legs, my underarms, my crotch and my boy pussy, and then
the rest of my body. Just in case, I took the extra time to douche until my
pussy was clean and odor free, and would allow me to hold his copious load
of come inside until it was fully absorbed. I decided to put on a short
pale pink and gray plaid tennis skirt for the schoolgirl look. For
underwear I wore my new white thong signifying my virginity, with a pocket
for my little male parts to keep them out of the way. It was a special one
I bought just for tonight that had two snaps on the waistband so it could
be easily removed. I painted my fingernails and toenails a deep sexual pink
to match my lipstick and to coordinate with my red open toed sandals. I
completed my ensemble with a thin light pink blouse with buttons. Lastly, I
put on some light makeup and a dash of perfume, and I was ready to meet my
lover after one final step - I wanted to be prepared should I get up the
courage and decide it was time, so I generously lubricated my boy pussy
with silicon lube that wouldn't dry out and would stay where I put it. I
had a strong feeling that this might be the night if I could work up the
courage and Martin was still interested.

I quietly exited the bathroom and surprised Martin as he was rolling joint.

"Oh, honey. You look great!" as he stood up to give me a hug and a ticklish
kiss on the neck.

"Would you like a little hit?" He asked as he showed me the joint.

"Sure" I replied, wondering if this was a smart idea knowing what pot did
to my inhibitions.

We went back to the couch and sat down and began to pass the joint
along. Greedy me as always, ginning up my courage I took about three hits
to his one. Before long I was so stoned I could have ripped his clothes off
his body right there. I was hot. I was horny. I wanted his cock in my mouth
in the worst way.

As he pulled me close to him for a kiss we began passionately kissing and
removing each others clothes a little at a time. It was a lot of trouble
getting dressed, but so sensual to undress each other! We each slowly
unbuttoned each others tops, as Martin slipped off his shirt, and slid my
blouse off my shoulders as he leaned in for a kiss so we could feel our
naked bodies against each other as he ran his hands down over my back and
into my skirt to feel my butt cheeks. I was feeling the tingling starting
again as I began to unbutton Martin's pants and slipped my hand inside to
caress his hardness. Like before, he got the message and took off his shoes
and socks, and removed his pants the rest of the way.

"Oh honey. Your body is beautiful.!" he replied quietly, sensing tonight
was special as he leaned down and gave each one a ticklish little lick.

"Are you going to get naked for me too, baby?" He asked?

I smiled and removed my skirt and shoes, leaving on my panties.

"Honey, can we go in my room where it's more comfortable?" I purred as I
bravely took Martin by the hand and led him into my bedroom.

I lay down on the bed on my back and my naked stallion lay down on top of
me and began to kiss me. The feeling was heavenly as I spread my legs to
cradle him in nature's most natural movement as his cock worked up and down
between my butt cheeks. I relished the weight of him on top of me, holding
me down as if to keep me from escaping. My excitement was building as the
familiar tingling began to build and my nipples began to tingle. I felt a
familiar tickling on the sides of my chest and I realized to my delight
that I was beginning to lactate again! How apropos!

Martin tried to remove my thong, but I squirmed and tried to resist showing
him my little cock. I was afraid it would spoil the moment, but I finally
gave in as he discovered the snaps and released them leaving me completely
naked and exposed. He worked his way back up and suckled at my breasts,
first one, and then the other as he feasted on my sweet milk as his cock
slid up and down my crack, searching. I had never experienced such a burst
of sensuality as the tingling in my body began to make me lose control of
my muscles as I began to quiver with gentle orgasmic ripples as Martin drew
milk from my breasts, alternating from one to the other maximizing my
pleasure as I unconsciously drew my knees up higher and higher to try to
capture Martin's cock as my little clittie reached it's full two throbbing
inches.

Leaving my depleted breasts, he worked his way down to my stiff little boy
clittie. He started with little licks and kisses, and then suckled on the
head as he gradually took my little cock and balls in his mouth together
and stroked the length of it with his tongue it as if it were a little
finger as he rolled my nipples in his fingertips. As I began to lose
control, I simply gave in and let my meager boy juices flow into his mouth
with nary a pulse as I let out a relieved sigh of ecstasy.

Martin smiled at me showing me my thin but slippery boy juice in his mouth,
and then rolled me over on my stomach and put his mouth on my little brown
bud and pushed my boy juice into my pussy, and then began working his
tongue in and out sending me into a strange hypnotic relaxation as my pussy
muscles involuntarily began to relax as he worked his warm tongue in and
out. He returned to my buttocks and worshiped them with gentle feathery
kisses and nibbles, while rubbing his fingertips lightly over my breasts
and belly. When he grabbed two pillows and put it them under my hips,
rather than feel the need to cover up I felt we were sharing a special
intimacy as I presented my damp little target for his inspection. He went
back to kissing and entering my boy pussy with his tongue as he kept
massaging my body with his hands. As I pushed my hips out to meet his
kisses, I left him little doubt that I was ready as he returned my
invitation with sweet nothings whispered to me in our silent little nest.

As he rose up on his knees; he rubbed my butt cheeks with the head of his
cock as if he sensed that he was in charge now as he added lubricant to his
cock to insure a gentle transition from tender virgin to wanton maiden.
His fingertips were all over my body making me tremble with apprehension as
he massaged my hyper stimulated body. I was over the edge with want. He
moved his cock closer to my opening as he teased me with the head causing
me to lift and gyrate my hips to receive him. I was so overwhelmed with
lust I could not stop myself from shamelessly offering myself to him. Any
pride that I had was vanquished by the intense needs within me, as I kept
moving my hips in and out sending the unmistakable message of my heat as he
teased my tight virgin hole with his slippery cock. Each time he would
slide it up and down my crack, searching, then pausing at my opening, then
pushing just a little as I brazenly pushed back trying to help him open me
up a little more each time as he would teasingly thrust and retreat, only
to do it again pushing in just a tiny bit more. He was taking his time,
making me shamelessly audition for my deflowering, and letting me brazenly
present my pussy to him to show him how much I craved his cock. Finally,
the head of his cock remained on its mark as it slipped in just far enough
to stay in place. The sliding and searching of his cock was replaced with a
slow, rhythmic in and out motion as my virgin tissues began to give way to
their new master as he gently stroked my back and my buttocks. With each
teasing push he would lightly rub my stomach and legs, and the sides of my
breasts, dragging his gentle strokes along my sides to my hips all the
while lovingly cooing to me. He gently pushed in a little farther letting
the beginning of the head gently pry open my tight pussy now made slippery
with my come. He rocked it in and out a millimeter at a time as he kept up
his sensuous massage on this virgin's body. I was so tight that each
attempt only made a little progress, causing him to stop and let me adjust
to avoid causing any pain to my virgin pussy, then he would pull out and
allow me to work my pussy lips open and closed as if nibbling at the head
of his cock, lubricating us for the next millimeter. After each pause, he'd
rock in and out gently claiming the new progress he had made, before he
pushed in a little more as I gasped for breath fighting the tingling in my
body that threatened to make me climax.

As he clung to me, he rose up and moved his hands to my shoulders as he
worked his cock in and out of the first painless inch, then he paused as he
pulled back gently on my shoulders as the largest part of his cock met the
tightest part of my pussy. Finally, as I bit my lip and my eyes watered he
whispered loving encouragement to me, as he again began rocking himself in
and out until finally with just a little more pressure he finally broke
though the final inner ring, allowing him to work his cock gently in and
out until he was all of the way in and I could feel his balls tickling my
perineum. He rested all of his body weight on me as he spread my legs as
wide as they would go, and allowed my pussy and I to rest and adjust to
this new phase of our lives.

I couldn't believe what was happening and how great it felt as he whispered
into my ear how much he loved me as he began to move his cock in and out of
my boypussy. I was immobilized by his weight, only barely able to move my
hips and tighten my pussy muscles to answer his thrusts. He was hitting the
magic spots inside me as my tingling began to reach a crescendo as he
continued his rhythmic thrusting. Gradually, he began to fuck me with more
purpose and urgency. I could not stop myself from clawing at the sheets as
I eagerly readied myself to do my feminine duty and receive my first
installment of his seed. Everything began to happen to me at once as my
nipples went from leaking to flowing and I let out a mournful groan as I
reached a climax that reverberated from my head to my toes. I was lost in a
cacophony of my rapidly overloading senses as my boy juice oozed into the
pillow as I felt Martin throbbing inside me. As my tingling reached it's
peak, I sensed the looseness caused my Martin's seed rushing into my body,
forever to be an unbroken link between us. He kept driving into me, pulling
his cock all the way out and pushing it all the way back in, then
alternating with shorter strokes driving me insane with electric tingling,
as I felt him stiffen as he stopped and held himself in as deep as he could
go, and again felt his pulses pumping more of his life giving juices deep
inside me again. Satiated for now, Martin remained on top of me as his warm
cock softened in my pussy as my body absorbed his gift. My pussy tightened
back around him as he softened holding him in place as we dozed off into a
blissful rest. I have never felt so loved and so thoroughly feminine in my
entire life as I realized that from now on I will be receiving Martin's
seed where ever and whenever I can convince him to give it to me.

As we woke up, I noticed that he had slid out of me, but thankfully none of
his feminizing juice dribbled out of me like in the dirty books. The more I
thought about it, the more turned on I became just knowing I was carrying a
part of Martin inside of me, and that there is only one way to put it in
there. I reached back and carefully moved Martin's limp wiener back against
my hole where I could feel him. I was surprised how far in he went due to
the looseness of my boypussy. Suddenly, I noticed Martin's breathing change
and he began to swell again as it began to gain it's length and snake back
into my pussy, as he began gently thrusting again. Even though things were
still tender from my first fucking, he seemed to work himself in fairly
painlessly in little delicate thrusts until he was all the way in again. We
readjusted ourselves on the bed and he helped me to get up on my knees with
him behind me so I was fully open for his entry, as he reintroduced himself
into my boy pussy. He whispered teasingly to me that we would need to do
this at least twice a day for a couple of weeks to keep things "adjusted"
as he picked up the pace and began fucking me hard and fast as I began to
get back into it as my boobs were flopping freely, and I could look under
me and see his balls banging between my legs as he increased the pace of
his thrusting as he began to breath more raggedly and push more of his
loving sperm inside of me.

Satiated, we both lay down to rest with his arm protectively draped over me
as I nuzzled into his neck. I began to smile as I realized something my
mother told me at one time "It's better to have lived an imperfect life,
than to have lived a perfectly meaningless one."