Date: Tue, 30 Aug 2016 14:43:58 +0000
From: Nikkie Silk <nikkie.silk@outlook.com>
Subject: The Wedding Part 3

The Wedding Part 3

Nikkie Silk


Life went back to what passed for normal after my trip to the wedding.
Caroline's latest man dumped her when he found out about Naomi, and what
worries me is that one of these losers will stick around for a while and
become an influence on Naomi. Does that make me a bad sister or a good
aunt?

Sophie and her partner planned to open a second spa, and out of the blue
she asked me if I would be interested in managing it. I was enormously
flattered and told her I would, on the condition we offer a service for
trans girls as well. She liked the idea as long as we could keep it
discreet. She didn't mean it badly, but it's the kind of thinking that
drives me crazy. I told her it makes me feel as if we have to be hidden
away somewhere. She said that wasn't what she meant, but she would have
to talk it over with her partner and let me know. Put it this way, I
wouldn't hold my breath.

Mother had begun to worry me. She spent more and more time at the church
and I became concerned at the amount of influence they had on her. I
tried to talk to her but it was like trying to communicate with a
pre-programmed robot.

A week later Sophie asked to talk to me, so I met her at the spa after
work and we sat down with a glass of wine. She had discussed the idea of
a service for trans girls with her partner, but they felt it wouldn't
work as a shared service with the new spa. I opened my mouth, and she
held up her hand for me to shut up. One day she said, I would learn to
jump in with a pause. I smiled, but what she said next floored me. They
thought it was such a good idea they would be prepared to go into it
with me as a stand alone business if I could raise some money to put
into it.

I was speechless. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought about doing
something like this. I asked her if she was serious and said, yes why
not? My head was whirling, but I immediately began thinking about what
we could offer. Sophie laughed as she watched my face and she said the
first thing is to do some research to assess demand, then we would need
a build a business plan to see if it would be profitable. My sister the
businesswoman, who would have guessed? She asked if I would be
interested and I squealed and hugged her. She laughed, that's a yes
then? We drank more wine, and I headed off home with my mind buzzing
with ideas.

It's strange how life can get complicated very quickly. The day after my
conversation with Sophie, I had a call from a headhunter offering me a
job at a rival department store with better pay and benefits than my
current one. It would be a great opportunity for me, but coming so close
on the heels of Sophie's offer, it threw me into a spin. I loved the
idea of doing something on my own, but the security of the new job was
so tempting. God, I needed someone to help me sort this out. It
obviously couldn't be Sophie, Caroline would be worse than useless, and
my mother was out of the question. There was one person who I knew who
would be great, but I couldn't possibly call Marcus, or could I?

It took two days of arguing with myself to decide whether I should call
him or not. He had given me his number, so he didn't mind if I called.
The hesitation was all on my side. Did I want to go there? There was a
fierce battle raging between my head and my heart. My head was saying it
would be a good idea and my heart was ringing alarm bells. I must have
picked up my phone and put it down again twenty times before I summoned
up the nerve to dial the number.

My heart was pounding as I heard the call connect and then the ringing
tone. My courage failed, and I was about to ring off just as he
answered, Hello, Marcus Flood speaking. Oh my God, what should I say? My
mind went blank. Hello? He said again. I finally managed to croak,
Marcus, it's Sammy.

Hang on a minute, he said. The line went quiet, and I thought he'd hung
up. A few seconds later, he came on again saying sorry he had been in a
meeting. We chatted a little before he came right out and asked if we
could meet as he had to get back to his meeting. I swallowed, then said
yes, I'd like that. We agreed to have a drink the day after next. He
seemed happy as he signed off with a see you, can't wait. It was that
easy. I hung up, completely unsure of what I had just done.

The next two days dragged past. I was tense with excitement and dread at
what I was to do. Half the time, of course, I worried about what to
wear. I went through my wardrobe three times, trying on different looks
before going back to the black dress I had picked out first. I matched
it with black heels, naturally, and a short black leather biker jacket.
Chic but classy, I hoped. I immediately changed my mind three times
before coming back to it. I got back from work, changed, put my hair
into a ponytail and sat on the bed, wondering what the hell I was doing.
I took a deep breath, tried to clear my mind and walked out the door
before I could stop myself.

I arrived early. I am always early; I can't help it, I am terrified of
being late for something, so I overcompensate and get there far too
early. I grabbed a table as the bar was getting busy and ordered a glass
of wine. I was so nervous my hands were trembling slightly as I held the
glass. I half hoped he wouldn't turn up when I felt the lightest touch
on my shoulder, and I looked up to see him smiling down at me. I stood
up, almost knocking over my glass in my nervousness and he kissed me on
the cheek. I could smell his cologne, light, fresh and slightly
feminine.

He looked good, a tight white shirt under a pale blue linen jacket and
tight jeans. He ordered a bottle of wine and sat down opposite me. It
was so good to see me again, he said. Our wine arrived, and he filled
both our glasses so we could say cheers as we clinked glasses. I told
him that he and Terrence looked so good together. They had met at a
party a couple of years earlier and they had decided to get married only
a few months ago. They were hoping to adopt a child at some stage as
both of them wanted a family.

He asked how my family was, and I told him about Caroline and mother,
and finally I talked about Sophie. His face dropped when I mentioned her
name and he said he had been truly sorry about what had happened back
then. He thought he had been bi-sexual, but when he met this boy, he
felt he was gay for certain and he couldn't pretend to Sophie any more;
it wasn't fair to her. His face was a picture when I told him Sophie was
now living with a woman. He didn't know whether to laugh or look serious
and I let him off the hook by laughing at him. It wasn't you, I said, it
was the string of bastards she used to hang around with who turned her
off men. You were so different from them, in more ways than one, I
giggled. He had finished his degree and was working as community liaison
for, of all people, the police. I had to laugh at the irony, remembering
our conversations back then about how useless the police were.

After we talked about everyone else, he asked me how I had got on after
he and Sophie split up. I told him that I had gone to the LGBT group and
counselling and it had been the saving of me. I owed him a huge debt of
gratitude because of what he had done for me. He shook his head and said
I owed him nothing; he had only given me the names. It had been me that
done the hard graft. I held up my glass and said thank you anyway. He
grinned and clinked his glass against mine.

It seemed incredible, but we had finished our bottle already. I looked
at the time and we had been talking for well over an hour. Marcus asked
if we should share another bottle and I shook my head, maybe a glass, I
said. I didn't want to end up drunk tonight of all nights. He went off
to order, and I watched him as he walked to the bar. Tall and well
built, his black skin glowing under the lights, hair cut close to his
scalp, he had almost a dancer's grace in the way he walked. He was the
most beautiful man I have ever seen. I smiled as several women followed
him with their eyes on his way back, and I felt a thrill knowing they
would see him sit down with me.

I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to him. I had shed all my
nerves, and it was just like the old days. A laugh was never far away
from Marcus and it seemed I was constantly smiling as we talked. He
suddenly said that his biggest regret was not being able to see me again
after the breakup. Maybe because I had already drunk too much, but
without thinking I asked him why. He looked straight at me and said
because he had liked coming to see me. A bell started ringing in my mind
and I knew I should be careful what I said next. I looked at him over
the edge of the glass and said softly I had missed his visits too. They
had meant so much to me; it had been hard to take at the time.

A silence followed which neither of us wanted to break. He blinked and
looked away, and when he looked back, he said that he had been so
surprised to see me at the wedding and for a split second he had thought
it was Sophie who had turned up. I said that was like the last thing he
had said to me before he left the house all those years ago. He nodded,
He remembered.  He remembered every second of that evening, how Naomi
had stuck her fingers in his mouth, and how beautiful he thought I had
looked. I blushed scarlet at his words, and I felt tears pricking the
corners of my eyes.

Please don't cry he said, and he touched my hand and I felt as if I had
touched a live wire. Shit, this wasn't going right, I thought. I wiped
my eyes and said there was something I needed his advice on. He took his
hand away and I immediately wished he had left it there. I talked about
Sophie's offer and the new job and how I couldn't make up my mind which
one would be right for me. He sat back and thought for a second or so
before asking me what did I want to do. I want to run the trans girl
service, I said, but it isn't that easy.

Why not? was the instant reply. I'm scared, I said, that's the real
reason, scared of swapping security for risk. He grinned at me, like you
did when you decided you were really a girl? Not fair, I replied, it's
different. Not from where I sit, he countered. You wanted something that
you felt was right and you went and did it, very beautifully too. I felt
another tingle at his words. He pressed on, do you feel this is the
right thing to do? I nodded and said, yes, for dozens of reasons. Well
do it, never die wondering what if, he said.

Anyway, I said, I don't think it's going to happen because I have no
chance of raising the money. Have you tried, he asked, looking
thoughtful. No, but who's going to lend me money for a stupid business
like this?

Sammy, you don't know until you try. Marcus glanced at his watch and
said he had to go, Terrence would be home soon. He said it in a way
which made me think he hadn't told Terrence he was meeting me tonight.
We walked to the door together where he hugged me and said he hoped he
had helped and that we could see each other again soon. He leant down to
give me a kiss on the cheek when someone bumped me from behind; I jolted
forwards and our lips met. We both pulled back in surprise, Marcus
looked at me, turned on his heels and walked away without a word.

I stood there, my cheeks burning in embarrassment. What was that all
about? Everything had gone well until that moment. I felt I had screwed
up somehow, but I didn't have a clue as to how.. I called a cab even
though I lived only a couple of miles away. I didn't like to walk home
on my own, it's too dangerous for a single girl to be out late at night,
especially a single trans girl. Too many of us have been attacked for
any of us to feel safe on our own.

As I walked into the house, my phone beeped. It was a single word text
message from Marcus - Sorry.

Sorry for what, I thought. The kiss? Or walking away without saying a
word? Or meeting me? What the hell did he mean?

I was in a foul mood and exploded at my mother when she said something
about the way I was dressed. She responded with something about my life
being wasted and we had a screaming row. I have to get out of this
madhouse I thought. I slept badly; the anger from the fight with my
mother and the effect of meeting Marcus keeping me from sleep. I must
have fallen asleep eventually because I woke feeling awful. Dragging
myself from my bed I found a text from the headhunter asking for an
answer about the job. Taking a couple of painkillers and two cups of
black coffee to wake myself up, I went to work. On the bus, I thought
about what Marcus had said, take the risk, go for it. All well and good
for him to say, he's not taking the risk, I am. I decided to take the
new job; it was the sensible decision. I texted the headhunter and
confirmed I would take the job. I felt better immediately; it had been
the right thing to do.

It was a busy day and I didn't have a chance to look at my phone until
my lunch break. I had a message from Sophie saying mother had been
complaining to her about me. Did I want her to do anything? Shoot my
mother was the first thing which came to mind. There were also three
texts from Marcus, asking me to call him. I hesitated with my finger
over the call button, what was this about? After last night, did I
really want to talk to him again? Of course, I pressed the button, heard
the ringing tone and it went straight to voicemail. I left a message and
hung up; sensible me hoping he wouldn't call back, crazy me thinking
about the kiss last night. A few minutes later the phone rang and I
could see it was Marcus. I accepted the call, and he said he hadn't got
much time, but he had found someone who might put up money for my idea.
Could we meet tonight to discuss it?

Shit, what do I do? It wouldn't affect my decision, but I was intrigued,
how had he found someone that quickly. OK, I said, where? He mentioned
another bar in town and we agreed to meet at eight. I was OK with this;
I had made my decision and surely no harm could come from meeting him. I
dressed down this time, a pair of tight jeans which I knew made my bum
look good, ankle boots and a man's white shirt under a linen jacket and
I left my hair loose.

I was there early, you will be surprised to learn. I bought a bottle
this time and Marcus turned up five minutes late, looking a little
flustered I thought. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and sat down. I need
a drink he said. Tough day? I asked. Yeah, but you don't want to know
about it. I did oddly enough, but didn't say anything. So, you found
someone with money to throw away? I asked him, thinking a joke would
help. He sighed, the joke didn't make him laugh. He said, In my job I
get to meet all kinds of people, not just the ones causing trouble, but
those who want to help as well. Believe it or not the police are trying
to stop hate crimes of all kinds, including against the TG community.
First I'd heard of it, I thought, but I kept that to myself.

He went on, I met a guy who wants to help the TG community, but because
of his position he wants to keep his name out of it. He's not rich,  but
has some money to invest if the right opportunity came up. I thought of
him last night when we talking and called him this morning. He would be
interested, but would need to see a plan and profit projections.

I sat back, stunned by what Marcus had said. Yes, you're right, I know
alarm bells should have been ringing at what he said, but all I could
think of was I might be able to set up my trans girl service. Excited by
the idea, I asked when can I meet him? That's the point, said Marcus, he
wants to be anonymous, his position is such that it wouldn't be possible
for him to be publicly involved. He's given me the authority to
negotiate on his behalf up to a certain limit. Did I know how much I was
looking for to put into the business?

No, I didn't. I hadn't got that far, only that I would be going half and
half with Sophie. I would need to do some research and put together some
projections, before knowing how much to put in. Marcus said timing is no
problem, but sooner rather than later would be good. Now I was really
fired up, ideas were flooding through my mind and I had forgotten my
safety first decision of earlier. We agreed that I would do the work
with Sophie and get back to Marcus when I knew what I needed. We clinked
glasses and toasted the success of the new business. I couldn't help but
wonder who this investor might be. I asked Marcus what the mystery guy
wanted from the business and he said, a reasonable return on his
investment but more than anything he wanted to help the TG community.

I was so excited I couldn't stop babbling about the ideas I had and
Marcus laughed at my enthusiasm. I blushed and said, this is important
for me, I would love for it to work. He smiled and said, I can tell. He
put his hand on mine again and that feeling shot through me. I wasn't
sure where this was going but I curled my fingers up and around his hand
and he didn't take it away. My heart was beating so hard, I thought he
might hear it. Everything else faded into the background and all I could
see were my fingers around his hand. God, this was wrong. I knew it, but
I didn't want it to stop. I slowly brought my eyes up to his, and he was
smiling at me, and my heart almost stopped.

I need some air, I said and let go of his hand, grabbed my bag and
dashed outside. I leant backwards against the wall, sucking in lungfuls
of air and trying to stop shaking. Marcus followed me out of the bar and
came and stood in front of me. He put his arms around me and hugged me,
and I began to calm down a bit. I looked up at him, and he dipped his
head slowly and deliberately and kissed me on the lips, this time not by
accident. He pressed his lips hard against mine and I began to kiss him
back, slowly at first and then harder. My arms went up around his neck
and pulled him down onto my lips.

He broke the kiss and I heard him say, I have waited so long to do this,
Sammy.

To be continued..

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