Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 04:12:33 EST
From: Gothictron@aol.com
Subject: Rachael's true story

    I was 4 or 5 when I had my first crossdressing experience. I was at my 
mom's friend's house; they lived close to us. My Mom had left with her friend 
and left me and her friend's daughter named summer and her brother Nathan. We 
were in her room playing and she started putting her brother and me in her 
old clothes, he was younger than I was so we were about the same size. I 
remember she dressed us in her panties, little cute frilly dresses, little 
socks and matching shoes. She called it a game called sisters. I just loved 
it; the clothes were so soft and pretty. We must have been dressed for a 
little bit before our parents pulled up so we had to change back. I remember 
not long after that time, I was over there again and our parents left us 
alone in the house, I asked summer if we could play "sisters," she said yeah 
and go in her room and pick something out to wear. Nathan and I went in her 
room and went threw her dresser for clothes. Me and Nathan started arguing 
over who was going to wear a swim suit I pick out when our parents pulled up 
once again we hadn't even got dressed before we had to quit. One time I 
stayed the night over there when summer was staying night at a friends house. 
I went in her room and out one of her dresses and while I was trying to put a 
bow in my hair, her mom came in a saw me. She told my mom what happened and 
they teased me about it. 

    Time passed and we moved into an apartment with just me and my Mom. One 
day she left me there for some reason, so went to explore here dresser. The 
first thing I saw was her pantyhose. I totally stripped and tried them on. 
They felt nice; I never got over the feeling. There were a couple of times I 
tried them on when my Mom wasn't around. Then one day I left them on under my 
pants. I must have been 5 or 6 then. I had to stay next door with the 
baby-sitter while my Mom went on a date. She was a nice lady; she let me play 
with her Alf puppet, which I still have. At some point I fell asleep. I 
remember being barley awake when my mom's boyfriend had me in his arms while 
he and my mother were saying "thanks" for watching me to the baby-sitter 
while he was holding me my pant leg went up and the pantyhose were exposed. 
They started pointing them out and snickering. Embarrassed, I acted like I 
was asleep. The next day one of my mom's friends came over. I remember her 
saying,"Can I borrow your pantyhose, mine have a hole in them". I must have 
turned so red. I played it off and said  "yeah" to kid around with her and my 
Mom. I kept wearing pantyhose secretly. My Mom married that guy and we moved. 
I kept on exploring my mom's clothes. I went on to panties and bras. I 
remember wearing panties when we went out to eat one time under my clothes. I 
had stolen a lot of her under wear and stored them in my room. Some one went 
in there one day and found them. I was busted. I must have been around 8 or 9 
by this time. I saw a councilor about it and stopped for about a year until I 
found my self in her top drawer again. I started gathering clothes again and 
started in the closet where I found dresses and shoes. I would only try them 
on in her closet and look in the mirror and then change back. I did still a 
pink body suit to add to my collection. At night I would wear panties, a 
stuffed bra with toilet paper, pantyhose, and the pink body suit. I wanted to 
be a girl. I did it a lot I got lazy one day and put a bra under my pillow 
instead of my hiding place and my parents found it. They said they were mad 
that I was stealing they said if I wanted to wear these things they would buy 
them for me so I didn't have to steal. I never took them up on the offer. I 
was too shy at the time. 

    I ended up moving in with a family friend named Diane so that my Mom 
could get things fixed with her and her husband who was a dick to me. Diane 
lived in Ruidoso, NM, about a 6 hour drive from were I lived, Amarillo, TX. 
She enrolled me in school there and stuff. It was great I was in the 
mountains and all attention was on me at home because Diane lived alone. I 
would get home before her so I started going threw her dresser when she 
wasn't home. I found something new there, satin panties. Damn they felt 
great. She had all colors, I must have went threw half of them. I lost track 
of time one day when I was trying on panties and she came home. I had on a 
pair of green satin panties. I took the others back in their place and took 
the ones I had on in my room and changed back. I had thrown them one the 
floor under my bed. When I was going to sleep, Diane came in to say good 
night, as she was leaving, she saw the panties sticking out under my bed. I 
remember exactly what happened. She picked them up, looked at them and said, 
"entrusting," and walked out of the room. She never said any thing to me 
about them so I thought I was off the hook. I went on trying on full out 
fits, panties, pantyhose, bra, a dress, high heels, a fur coat and some 
lipstick. I would always change back before she got home. I then discovered 
satin slips, now those feel great on the skin. So I had something new to add 
to my out fit I wore around the house when Diane was at work. She never found 
out, at least I thing so, I was bad about putting things back neatly, and she 
was a neat freak. She might have known, I'll never know. So when I moved back 
in with my Mom, I had new things I had found out about. I found that my Mom 
had some dresses and things I wanted to wear I must have been 12 or 13 by 
then. We moved into our own house and started school again. I kept 
crossdressing, but when I would try things on I would sometimes keep them. As 
time went by I had a little collection again. One day my mom got nosey and 
went in my room and found her clothes in there, she could tell they had been 
warn. When I got home I got the bitch out from hell. So I had to start 
putting things back again. I went to Diane's that summer and had the first 
fully dressed crossdressing experience I won't forget. Diane and I were 
watching "To Wong Foo..." and I wanted to dress up so bad afterwards. So 
while Diane and I were talking about the movie, I asked her if she had ever 
dressed any guys up in women's clothes, she said no but I kept on with it. I 
think she realized I wanted to be dressed and she asked me, "why don't we 
dress you up?" I wanted to hug her I was so happy, but I played it off and 
just said ok. She planned it for the next day, but we never got around to it, 
so we put it off till the next day. She woke me up before she went to worked 
and asked what I wanted to wear, I was to tired to do it then so I told her 
to lay out like some panties and things and I would try them on when I woke 
up. When I finally rolled out of bed, I found a pile of clothes ready for me. 
I remember it was like I shirt slip, satin panties and some other things. I 
looked threw her drawers for other things and finally put on the shirt slip, 
blue satin panties, blue pantyhose, a satin flower shirt and some shorts. I 
had id on till Diane got home from work. She like what I had on but she 
wanted to make me a women. She had me change into a white dress with flowers 
on it. I took off the shirt and the shorts to wear the dress. After I had it 
on, it had a belt that was tied around my waist and in to a bow. Diane then 
told me to sit in a chair lady like while she curled my hair. My hair was 
past my ears by then so she curled it underneath for an old-fashioned 
hairstyle. Next came shoes. To my surprise and Diane's, none of them fit but 
some white sandals. Then came make-up. She applied base, powder and a bluish 
eyeshadow to my face. The thing I remember the most was the bright red 
lipstick. She applied it with a brush and coated my lips with it. It was nice 
feeling. Next came the mascara and the eyeliner. All of this was so new to me 
that I didn't know what she was doing to me. When I looked in the mirror, I 
saw a very pretty young girl. I was so happy I could have died. Diane and I 
talked after that, she taught me how to walk and sit like a woman. Not 
realizing how late it was, we had to go to bed. I was making my bed when 
Diane approached me with two nightgowns, a pink one and a blue one. I picked 
the blue on because it matched the panties I had on. I must have slept like a 
baby that night. I was so content. The next morning, Diane let me pick out a 
different out fit to wear all day. That went on for about a weak until 
laundry day. I had worn all the fem clothes that Diane didn't wear so I had 
to go back to my boy clothes. I stayed there for two months and the week 
before I left for home, Diane let me be a girl again. That was one of the 
best times I've ever had. I left there with more clothes to add to my 
collection. 

    Later on that year on Halloween, I went as a girl. I got help from my 
Friend Jenny on the make-up. I had gotten the dress and stuff from clothes 
that were donated to my mom for a garage sale that never happened. There were 
a lot of clothes out there for me to take though. So I took what I needed and 
the rest was put away. After I had my make-up on Jenny and me went out 
walking around. She kept trying to think of a girl name to call me but I 
didn't like any that she was suggesting. We ran in to some people we knew 
from school, Tia, Casey, and some other people. They new it was me. They told 
me I looked good and we talked a while before Tia said she had to go home. 
Most of them went to her house while Casey went with us. We walked around all 
night and I walked every one home. My girl name was finally picked out at the 
end of the night, Rachael. The next day at school, my friends were talking 
about their costumes and every notice me and said how good I looked, 
including Tia. That was a start of a great relationship between Tia and me. I 
went to her house almost ever night. She only lived a street over from me. 
She would always paint my nails. I always acted like I didn't like It. Joking 
around one day I popped her bra. She threatened that if I did it again she 
would put me in one and pop it. I didn't believe or trying her bluff I did it 
again. She held me down and the next thing I knew I was in her bra. She 
popped it of course and she had her revenge. Next she would put make-up on me 
when I would go to her house. I never fought her, I would acted like it but I 
loved ever minute of it. She was kind of a tomboy, so one day I told her if 
she wore a skirt or a dress that I would. She took me up on it too; I wore a 
black skirt with navy blue pantyhose. She came over in a dress, so I had to 
show her my skirt. I think it turned us both on, because we must have made 
out for hours. She kept on putting things on me when I went to her house. I 
was about 14 by now. One night she was painting my nails and doing my 
make-up, she told me to put on her bra, panties, pantyhose, and a black 
dress. I was thrilled by the idea so I told her to leave the room while I 
changed. Her clothes were so soft and they fit perfect. In fact, we had the 
same hair length too. People use to get us mixed up. We were a good couple. 
After totally in her clothes I told her to come back in. she loved it. She 
called me her own private Barbie doll. She was all over me. She liked me 
dressed like that, so I did it more often. I would go over there in the 
middle of the night dressed in full drag and sneak threw her window to fool 
around. She kept getting more turned on by it and I lost my virginity to her 
because of it. The relationship went on like that, but of course I messed it 
up and we broke up for good. I had a girlfriend after her that wanted me to 
dress like that, but the only thing she saw me in was make-up. After a while, 
Tia and I became friends. My outlet for clothes was back. We went to the 
movies while I was dressed and she would still put nail polish and make-up on 
me like she use to. We finally drifted apart and I went home schooled and got 
a job. My friends were limited at this pinot. But when I started making 
money, Tia came back around. I don't know why. I guess because I would buy 
her stuff, I don't know. She then quit talking to me for good and I was 
without her for good. 

    I kept dressing in private and only to my self. I started wear panties 
and pantyhose under my pants for fun. I had been doing it before I went home 
schooled for fun and comfort. I started seeing this chick Lisa. She told me 
she likes guys that wore skirts, so I went to her house in a skirt and 
pantyhose one night and I couldn't keep her off of me. By this point I was 16 
and driving. I would go to her house dressed and fool around with her. She 
started letting me wear her clothes and she would paint my nails and stuff. 
She was real kinky though. She would tie me up or duck tape me while I was 
dressed. It was great. She was so in control of me. While Tia and I were 
friends, she dared me to shave my legs. I loved it so much, I kept doing it. 
One of Lisa's favorite things to do was rub our shaved legs together while we 
cuddled. That feels great. I still shave my legs. Any ways, She got too 
possessive and we quit hanging out and she got all her things back and I 
still haven't talked to her. 

    I started dating my first love, Lindsey. I kept my dressing to myself; I 
didn't to tell her right away. I loved being with her. I was 17 and in love, 
it was great. I finally told her and she said she liked that sort of thing. I 
dressed fully in front of her once I she couldn't keep her hands off of me. 
Well she ended up moving to Plano, TX. So we tried a long distance 
relationship. It was hard. She visited a couple of times but it was just too 
hard. I started hanging out with chick TJ, and Lindsey and I broke up. I 
still miss her. I came to find out that TJ liked crossdressers as well and 
was BI. The same thing happened as in the past. I dressed in front of her and 
she would be all over me. It turned her on so much that we would have sex 
while I was dressed as a women and she even called me Rachael. It was great. 
One night we even went out and took pictures while I was dressed. That was 
the first time I had pictures of me as Rachael. She became all weird and we 
broke up to make a long story short. Which brings me to now. 

    I am 18 years old and still go out and dress as Rachael. I tried to come 
out to my mom about it but I think it freaked her out so I quit doing it in 
front of her. I ran into Summer one time. She was responsible for Rachael. I 
wanted to ask her if she remembered playing "sisters" but I was in front of 
everyone and she is a different person now and I bet she would want to know 
that I still up after 14 years later. I found out that I think that I should 
have been born a girl and that I was a young woman. I still wish for this, 
but only with a miracle or a lot of time and money could that happen. So I 
just dress up in my room or go out some nights to see my friends that 
understand me. I have even thought about my sexuality. I have thought about 
being with men before. I want to try it dressed as Rachael and see if I am 
bi-sexual or not. Until that happens, I will just try to be Randall and 
Rachael. But if I had a choice, I would have been born Rachael and lived a 
happier life.